"Realizations of Insanity"

Kira Yalnami

A/N: Hi! It's me, your insane little person here, writing things, which have nothing to do with real life. This part is even DARKER then the last, if that's possible, and I hope you appreciate it. That is, if I ever finish it…
~ Kira @_@*

It was a dream.

It had to be, this wasn't happening. No cries were this loud, none! Please let me wake up, please let this be a dream. Please don't swallow the light, no, not the dark! Don't leave me alone, not in the dark! Not this! No!

Kari opened her eyes, but it was still dark, this wasn't a dream, this was real.

So real.

The eyes were still there, yellow-green embers that never faded their intensity, full of fear and God-knew-what. Those eyes are every where.

Oh please, don't turn; don't look at me, I can't see, not alone, not in the dark, please!

Gatomon, Takeru, Tai!

No. I'm alone, in the dark, Embyrmon, don't look at me!

The lizard burned bright; his small frame like Jademon's, though he had none of Jademon's kindness and gentle red eyes. His eyes, liquid acid or bile, ate away at her, saw her secrets, reached out one dark claw…

Kari cried out, and awoke. She rolled out of her sweat-soaked sheets, and ran to her bathroom to expel her dinner. Nightmares come often, on the wings of pain. Gatomon watched her, deeply perturbed.

But not always is the pain real.

Gatomon had seen the fresh, raw scratches on Kari's face and hands. There is very little cats miss in the dark.

And the scent of fear is unmistakable.

* * *

Izzy sank back in the hot water, letting it soothe him. He had always liked hot baths, and the steaming water relaxed his frazzled mind. He reached for a mug of hot green tea, and sipped the scalding beverage quietly, letting his mind wander to Tentomon, who splashed in the warm water, shaking his antenna.

"Tired, Tento?" the man asked, amused as the bug succeeded in a deadman's float.

"Oh, you just noticed my attempt at drowning?" The bug snapped sarcastically.

"Woah, someone needs a nap."

"K'shiro!"

Izzy laughed, and dunked Tentomon underwater. When the bug came up, spluttering, a water fight ensued, and their laughter echoed in the males' bathing room.

Elsewhere in the caves, such merriment was all too far away.

* * *

"But Dad! You can't kill him! And I won't help you!"

"Kira, have I ever asked anything else of you? I had you well taken care of. Now you must do this for me!"

Kira squared her shoulders and looked defiantly into her father's eyes, so much like her own.

"No."

"Why not, Kira. You do realize that I'll kill you if you won't help."

"Dad, I look like you, and in a few years, it's all too easy to be in your shoes -killing for the sake of killing because revenge has carried me too far. I'll be even more like you. But I think that for now," she took a deep breath, and looked him dead on, perhaps showing more guts and courage then ever before in her lifespan. "I think for now, the red hair, the green eyes, they are enough."

* * *

Vixenamon was running. She was running, and she didn't know why, except that her paws were taking complete control of her, and she had to obey some deep-seated instinct. She just ran, and came to a stop outside Yamato's chambers. Hurriedly, she scratched the door, yipping and barking instead of speaking, trying to get a hold of her deep-seated need to run.

The door opened, and Gabumon came out, followed by Yamato, who looked half-irritated, and half-frightened.

"What." Yamato said shortly as Vixenamon skittered about in mad circles, trying not to yip madly as she sniffed footsteps worn into the rock.

"Kira's gone! And something is making me run!" the whites of her eyes showed, and she bolted, with Gabumon running after her.

* * *

Sora looked at the walls in her room; walls that had been covered with tapestries and murals, as if someone knew that having at least a picture or a memory let her hide her worst fear. She let her mind flow backwards, just like Gennai had taught her all those years ago, trying to help her to remember so she could forget.

…Voices. So loud, so loud! Talking…as if…fear! One word, fear! They spoke of fear! It was them! All of them, the digidestined!

"What do you fear the most?" Kari asked, pulling Gatomon into her lap.

Tai looked into the flames, his arm around Sora.

"I don't know…" he mused. "I guess I'm afraid of being afraid."

"I'm afraid of the dark." Kari confessed, looking away from the faces of the others.

"I'm afraid of being alone, alone without anyone there who loves me." Sora remarked softly, so softly that the others had to strain to hear her. Tai pulled her closer, and stroked her hair.

"I'm afraid of losing Hope." TK said, looking up from Patamon's sleeping form.

"Despair…" His older brother mused, naming the emotion that was frightening to both his brother and himself. "I'm afraid of not understanding who my friends are, and of not trusting. I guess…I'm afraid of myself…" the blond boy's eyes were wide with shock at the truth he had just revealed to himself.

"I'm afraid of not knowing the truth." Mimi piped up from where she sat near Koushiro.

"I'm afraid of not knowing, period." Izzy said without looking up from another computer puzzle.

"I'm afraid of worrying. But that's what I do most!" Jyou cried in astonishment.

"I'm afraid that you have just pointed out your weaknesses to me, Digidestined. In another time, another place, I WILL meet you again…"

Matt jumped to his feet, shielding TK from any harm that might come.

"Koushijumon!" he hissed. The dry voice went on, still keeping a velvet timbre in it.

"Yes, Yamato. You know me. And we will meet again. In another time, another place…" the voice laughed, and faded. The stench of fear rose about the fire as the digidestined looked at each other.

And another voce came out of the woods, but it was too dark to see the speaker.

"I think you have made a bad move, Digidestined. Check."

Fading…can't remember…drowning in warmth…it's like molasses in January…

Sora snapped back to NOW and steadied herself on the bedpost. Piyomon nuzzled her partner.

"Sora! What's wrong!" the pink bird cried, placing cool feathers on Sora's brow.

"I'm fine, Piyo-chan. I just…need…sleep…" she collapsed, and said no more.

Piyomon's anguished cry caught in her throat and came out as a sob.

"Sora!"

* * *

Tai had been resting in the small, warm chamber he had been given, watching Agumon as the small lizard spread scented oil on his patchy skin. The oil he had gotten from Jademon, who had kindly pointed out that if his skin were oiled, he would be able to fight for much longer, and more effectively.

Perhaps both of them knew that the fighting would never end, that they had to be always prepared.

Both were still haunted by the feelings of despair that had been projected during the confrontation with Salsmindermon, and both had been shaken.

The two were linked more closely then the others and their digimon, closer then anyone could be linked, except perhaps Gabumon and Matt. Perhaps this was because they knew each other from long ago, when Kari had barely spoken to humans and had only communicated with short, weak blasts on a whistle.

Perhaps that was why when they heard a slight cry of despair rip through their very souls they knew what to do, or what the other was going to do. It had been essential to learn to anticipate each other's movement, and now they worked as one, a smooth, oiled machine.

They found the one who had cried; it was Jademon, standing sadly over Sappiremon's still form, a form that neither breathed nor moved, and Taichi could see that he was dead from a gaping wound at his throat.

Jademon kept nuzzling the still form, like a child will try to wake a pet or a loved one that has gone to sleep but will never wake up, and she cried his name quietly, begging her only brother to wake up.

But the blue gryphon was still, and he slowly began to disappear, even as Jademon cried for him not to leave her, and she clutched at the thin air where he had once been.

"Sappiremon!" she cried his name one last time before she lifted her great wings and flew off into the brimming night, flying away with her sorrow.

Tai stepped back; though he had seen dead animals, digimon, even people before, the way Jademon had reacted to the death of her brother had been strangely…human.

Though digimon had human characteristics, he had not expected the dragon's reaction to be so fierce. He had expected sadness from her, but not such grief, as that he had felt when his parents had died. Certainly not like this. Though he had nothing to do so far as he knew with the blue gryphon's death, Taichi felt oddly responsible for the sorrow that was felt by the dragon.

Tai was aware of an odd ache in his chest, as if his heart were about to break… Suddenly, the man fell to his knees, pain coursing through him like fire, and a name flitted through his head and sprang from his lips unbidden, for he knew what the pain was.

Sora...

Something was wrong.

With much effort and his chest on fire, he struggled to his feet and hurried to the room where Sora was, closely followed by Agumon.

The two were so intent on reaching her that they did not notice the fluttering of life that resounded through the caves, and the whispering sounds of Kyra's digimon running or flying, searching for something…or someone…

* * *

Kari and TK were sitting in the makeshift kitchen that Jyou and Sora had thrown together their first night there, sharing a large plate of roasted vegetables and drinking mugs of tea to go with it, when they heard it.

It was not unlike someone singing, and Kari was sure she had heard that voice before, somewhere. It swelled into a magnificent crescendo, and Kari's eyes snapped open.

"Lorelie!" she hissed, standing up so fast her chair fell over. TK looked at her, and blinked. He heard the music, but it was just music to him, nothing special.

"Who's Lorelie?" he asked, puzzled. Kari turned to him, her chestnut eyes wide.

"A Greek goddess who sang so beautifully she lured men to their deaths. She was gorgeous, and very lonely. That's why she sang, so that someone would come to her."

TK nodded. "But I still don't understand…why are you upset?"

"Because…I met her once, when I was a kid. She was very sad…I've heard her sing three other times…"

"So?" he prompted.

"Her song means death."

* * *

Jyou…

"What?" he murmured, sleepily, his arm draped across Gomamon's flank.

Jyou, they need you…

"Jenny? That you?" he sat up, sleep gone from his eyes.

Hurry, Jyou…they're dying…

The voice was gone.

Jyou knew he would not sleep again until he found out what was happening…there was an invisible tension in this place, and he felt his skin crawling as he dressed in plain, serviceable clothes, and stepped out of his chambers.

Jyou had been prepared for a lot; but not for the sight that greeted him.

Woulfosmon lay at the door, dying. His throat was gaping open, and the scarlet rivulets of blood had slowed to a mere trickle. The wolf did not have much time.

Instantly, Jyou was at work, stauching blood, trying to hear the gasping words spoken by the dying beast that lay at his feet.

"Attacked…"

"Yes? Yes, by whom? Who did it?"

"…Master…must save master…" the words were thick, garbled, and the foam that he spewed as he spoke showed how close he was to death. Jyou knew he could not save the poor animal, so he just sat there, talking to him, trying to comfort him.

"Master of master…back…Synthlaya…blood, so much blood…pain…sorry, Kira…I…failed…"

He died.

"No! Tell me! You can't die! I won't let you!" yelled the young man, trying in vain to restart a heart that he knew, in his reasonable mind, would not start again.

"He told you, Jyou," was the quiet response from the seal-like creature at his side. "He stayed just long enough to tell you."

"What do you know about death," the physician snapped before he could take the bitter sting from the words.

"Enough, Jyou. More then anyone needs to know. Any knowledge of death is enough, more then enough." Were the creature's frank words.

"Gomamon…" the name was uttered in a cracked, lonely voice, of a man who desperately needed a friend.

"Yeah, buddy?"

Jyou's black eyes hardened, and he shoved his glasses farther up the bridge of his nose, while his other hand busied itself to remove a slender silver chain from about his neck. He bent over the body, his lips wordlessly moving for a moment, and then straightened up. "Let's go find Synthlaya."

Gommamon nodded, still slightly unsure what to say about the lapis cross in his partner's hand on a silver chain.

* * *

Rubymon was cold, and impossibility for a firebird, but she felt her flames dim, and grow cooler. She knew that the one she called her master, the one she called her friend, was in danger, perhaps deathly so; she also knew her brothers Sappiremon and Woulfosmon were dead. She knew she was not going to live much longer.

Phoenixes understand more in an eye blink then a human in a lifetime. That was perhaps how she knew her regeneration cycles were at an end, that she would no more rise from the ashes of her body.

She watched her wings dim to embers, her dark, liquid eyes emotionless as the flames flickered and died.

She did not know why she was dying…she just knew that she was so cold…so cold…

She fell to ashes, no more to rise, and then the ashes, too, fell to a shower of red and gold pixels that wafted a moment, and then were gone.

A voice in the shadows, a smooth, dry, voice, "Three down. Four to go. Oh, Kira-rah you have made a deadly mistake. Perhaps it is time…almost time… for 'checkmate'."

* * *

Kira knelt in a corner, holding Leopardmon in her lap; the great cat's head lolling to the side as blood and lather came from her mouth and nose. With tears in her eyes, Kira screamed at her father, screamed partly because she knew it was her fault and she needed to blame someone, but partly out of horror at the cat's devotion to her.

"How can you do this to me! I loved them!" her voice was piercing, shrill; she was frenzied, and couldn't stand all this emotional pain.

With darkly cold emerald eyes, Synthlaya slapped her hard across the face, silencing her.

"Silence, daughter!" with startling tenderness, the man helped her stand, keeping her eyes locked with his so she did not see the death of yet another of her companions. Despite what any thought, he was softhearted, and hated to see his only surviving offspring so tormented by the truth of her heritage. He loved her still, as much as he had loved his mate and other offspring, but she was truly the one who shared his strange power of compelling others to do what was right- or what he wished.

The girl wiped her eyes, and looked up at the man who had sired her, whom she had called father, whom she had loved-

And saw nothing but an empty mask.

A moment later Vixenamon ran in, closely followed by Gabumon and Yamato.

With a swift thought, almost a damning reflex, Synthlaya killed her.

* * *

"Sora? Oh, gods, Sora, please wake up…"

That voice again. Such a loud whisper…didn't they know she hurt, in every cell, every molecule?

A different voice, feminine, soothing, in her ear.

"Sora…please, wake up for me…please? I'm sorry if you're hurt, but I need you. We need you. Kira needs you, so does Tai. Can you please get up?"

Piyomon.

Slowly, with slurred words, she spoke.

"All…right…give me a…moment…to get…up." With great effort, she sat, placed her head on her knees, and sat in a small heap, shaking. Then a pair of strong arms encircled her, and she clung to the owner of them. "I…hurt."

"Shhh, I know. C'mon, it's okay."

Tai.

Brown eyed bronze-skinned, wild-haired Tai. With a cocky smile and a heart of gold, she was still in love with him, and if she had been feeling well, she had a suspicion that she would be blushing. But she wasn't, so she sank into the warm comfort of his arms and slept.<> All was quiet for a moment. Then, with an assurance that belied his years, Tai gently stroked her hair and lifted up the woman in his arms, surprised at how little she weighed.

Placing her gently on the bed in the small room, he covered her up with the woolen blankets and quilts that the room itself had seemingly provided.

"Sleep, my Sora." He whispered, and gently kissed her on the cheek, so light one could have mistaken it for a breath of wind.

Then, he pulled a chair close, and sat motionless, holding her limp hand in his own.

* * *

Mimi had long since finished her bath, and, now wrapped warmly in a thick white robe, she lay across the bed that she shared with her husband, reading a small book she had plucked off of one of the room's shelves.

A small noise alerted her of Palmon's presence, and she made room for the plant digimon on the pale cream bedclothes.

"What are you reading, Mimi?"

Mimi gave her a wistful smile, and began to recite a few words from the page.

"'Hope is the thing with feathers
That lives inside the soul
And sings the tune without the words
And never stops at all. -Emily Dickinson'. Dear Emily…one of my favorites."

"Who was she?"

"She was a poet, a long while back on earth. I should save this…" she marked the place, and let the book slide off her pillow.

"For Takeru?"

The brunette smiled.

"Maybe."

"For all of us?"

"Yes."

* * *

End Part Ten.

*Grins* Can't help it! You like? At all? Please, R&R, or I won't finish! *Huggs to all*
Love + peace,

~ Kira-chan ^_~

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