Author: Mike Fenton <mpfenton@hotmail.com>
Title: MST of MST of MGPN!
Notes: Misc./MST, NC-17 (reader discretion is advised)
Summary: MST of an attempt to satire a brainlessly cliche farce of violence.
[Disclaimer: Mystery Science Theater 3000 and its characters are the property of Best Brains Inc. Tenchi Muyo! and its characters are the property of AIC and Pioneer LDC, Inc. "Magical Girl Pretty NOBOYUKI!!!" is the unfortunate brain child of an alleged author who goes by the pseudonym "AAA-PhuckNut." This story satirizes certain aspects of TMIL (which was written by Ryoe Tsukimura and Hiroshi Negishi). This couldn't possibly make me any money, so please don't sue me over it.]
***
Deep 13:
TV's Frank and Dr. Forrester are busy, trying to remember why they drove Mike Nelson insane. Mike is sitting in a wheelchair, wearing a straight jacket, babbling to himself.
MIKE: No! Not the hair! Anything but the hair!
FRANK: Ice cubes? Yeah! That's it.
FORRESTER: Ice cubes? What kind of nonsense is that? Hmm... Oh yeah! I remember now! I was planning to plug his brain into the central weather distribution office. The resulting tidal waves will cause global devastation everywhere! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!
FRANK: Uh... Won't that destroy us, as well?
FORRESTER: Huh? No, of course not! For, you see, we shall be in a concrete bunker five miles below the surface. Yes! When I emerge, I shall be the undisputed ruler of the world!
FRANK: Well, what's left of it, anyway...
FORRESTER: Did you say something?
A dark, evil presence oozes into the room, its clawed hands grasping and mangling TV's Frank and Dr. Forrester. They gag on their own blood and collapse in a heap. A white, sinister face appears. Mike suddenly appears lucid.
MIKE: Hey! Who the hell are you?
The face resolves into the face of Kain, the monster of Tenchi the Movie (TMIL).
KAIN: I am Kain. I was forced to hide for a time, but now I've come back to wreak cruel vengence on those cursed foes of mine!
MIKE: Oh, you mean Iria and the--
KAIN: That's Zeiram, you numbskull! I am Kain, I tell you! My hated enemies are the Masaki clan. Especially that boy and his mother.
MIKE: Oh, wow! I thought it was just an old Japanese anime. Don't tell me it was for real?
KAIN: (a little irritated) Aren't you supposed to be insane?
MIKE: Oh! Right... (goes back to babbling incoherently)
***
Satellite of Love:
Achika and the 'bots are standing at the console. Achika looks around curiously.
ACHIKA: However did I come to be here? This isn't the bus station. Who are you two?
TOM: We're robot friends of Mike Nelson.
CROW: He went insane, so I guess you're his replacement.
ACHIKA: Insane? Oh my! However did that happen?
TOM: Well--
CROW: It's a long story. We'll tell you later...
The face of Kain appears on the display.
ACHIKA: (gasping) It's him!
KAIN: Yes. I'm back! This time, my revenge will be sweet!
ACHIKA: (fierce) You can't threaten me. We defeated you.
KAIN: True. Your powers are far greater than mine, but my vengeance will come. Now, you will regret having defeated me.
TOM: Uh oh--
CROW: You don't think he means--?
TOM: I have a really bad feeling about this...
ACHIKA: What on Earth are you two talking about? There's nothing that monster could do to me.
CROW: You want to bet?
TOM: Just keep telling yourself: "It's just a 'fic. It's just a 'fic..."
ACHIKA: What the--?
The red light starts blinking, and Kain starts laughing sadistically.
TOM and CROW: Argh! We have fanfic sign!
***
Theater:
Achika and the 'bots take a seat, making a nice silhouette.
> MST'ing of Magical Girl Pretty NOBOYUKI!!!
ACHIKA: Noboyuki? Oh, this is some other Noboyuki.
CROW: Picking on Noboyuki... Now, there's an original
idea.
TOM: It's making fun of Pretty Sammy, too.
ACHIKA: Picking on Noboyuki? Over my dead body!
CROW: Uh--
TOM: You'd better not, Crow. She obviously doesn't know.
> MST by: AAA-PhuckNut
> Original fic by: AAA-PhuckNut
>
> I MST my own fic because im a crazy bastard!!
ACHIKA: You sure we can't just leave?
TOM: It goes with the job.
CROW: Yeah--call it a perk.
ACHIKA: A what?
TOM: A perquisite.
ACHIKA: Huh?
CROW: Thanks for clearing that up.
> The cast in this MST will be Tenchi, Ryoko and Ayeka, therefore
> they will be surrounded by < and > so you wont mix
them up with the ones
> in the story, example: <Tenchi> <Ryoko> <Ayeka>
CROW: How convenient!
TOM: He's so thoughtful!
ACHIKA: Really... How bad can this be?
(TOM and CROW shake their heads, sadly.)
> -The cast enters the theatre-
> <Ryoko>: Tenchi why are we here?
> <Ayeka>: Yeah? what are we doing at this empty theatre?
> <Tenchi>: Some guy named AAA-PhuckNut, or sumtin like
that called me
> up and said he wanted us to review some movie or something..
i dunno
> <Ryoko>: Well then lets get this show going!!
TOM: So, they're there by choice...
CROW: Somehow, I find that the most disturbing...
> Magical Girl Pretty NOBOYUKI!!!
>
> <Tenchi>: What the fuck kind of title is that? Disgrace
to my dad!
> <Ryoko>: Geez, its only the title and your already
complaining!
> <Ayeka>: I forsee that this fic is going to suck big
time!
ACHIKA: Evidently, Ryoko and Ayeka are a bad influence.
Such language!
CROW: I think Tenchi's entitled, at this point.
TOM: Yeah, even a fictional character has to have some
dignity.
> A senseless fic from a senseless person, AAA-PhuckNut !!
>
> <Tenchi>: I wouldn't say he's senseless.. Id say hes
PHUCKED UP!!
> <Ryoko>: HAHAHAHAHAHA
> <Ayeka>: HAHAHAHAHAHA
> <Tenchi>: -sigh-
ACHIKA: ?
CROW: Okay, now what's worse? The original or the satire?
TOM: Hard to say. They both demonstrate a lack of respect
for the storyline, character descriptions, and the laws of
physics.
> Disclaimer:
> I dont own these characters, but AIC and Pioneer do.
> This fic contains sex so you have to be 18+ to read it.
TOM: The irony is that you have to have the mind of a two-
year-old to think that it's funny.
> <Ayeka>: Boy, am I glad he doesn't own us!!
> <Ryoko>: Amen sister.
ACHIKA: (sighing) This is Kain's revenge?
CROW: Just wait. The deep hurting will start any moment.
TOM: It's just starting to build.
> Tenchi and Ryoko lovers rejoice!!
>
> <Ryoko>: Hooray!!
> <Ayeka>: GRRRR
CROW: Oh great! Now he ruined it for me.
TOM: And I was hoping to bask in the mystery.
> This isnt really related to the Pretty Sammy series, but
Noboyuki goes
> insane, and I needed a funny title :P
ACHIKA: Funny? What kind of sick, sadistic jerk would find
that funny!?
CROW: Here we go...
> After reading, all you Ryoko lovers can join in my chat
room in IRC,
> just connect to a DAL.net server and join room #Ryoko
> Enjoy!
TOM: By "lovers," I assume he means people who think
that
Ryoko is a cheap whore.
CROW: What? You mean, she's not?
ACHIKA: (a little upset) You'd better take that back!
CROW: Oops!
TOM: Hey, Crow. Watch out! Achika's never read this guy's
work before.
CROW: Yeah. She's lucky.
> <Tenchi>: I say after this we all join his chat room!!
> <Ryoko&Ayeka>: Great idea!!
TOM: Shameless OOC plug. What a surprise.
> ___________________________________________________________________________
>
>
>
> Yet again it was just another normal day at the Masaki household.
Tenchi
> just woke up to the sound of Ayeka and Ryoko fighting over
him outside of
> his door,
>
> "God... Not those two fighting again!" complained
Tenchi.
>
> <Tenchi>: Ya! Not again!! another stupid begining like
always!!
CROW: I just love cliches.
TOM: Especially when they miss the whole running gag point.
> "I know they're fighting over me.. I love them both
equally though.. or
> do I? I seem so attracted to Ryoko for some reason. Maybe
its because
> she never had anyone to love her, and I feel like it is my
duty to show
> her affection, a feeling that no one has ever given her before."
Tenchi
> said to himself.
ACHIKA: Tenchi is indecisive?
CROW: And yet, he rationalizes his feelings in such a
mechanical way.
TOM: What a sweetheart!
> <Tenchi>: well i seem a little one-sided in this fic!
> <Ayeka>: One sided on the wrong side too!!
> <Ryoko>: I think not your Royal Bitchiness
> <Ayeka>: GRRRRRR
> <Ryoko>: GRRRRRR
CROW: Okay, those quips are just pathetic.
TOM: They seem more admiring than satirical.
CROW: Well, we're the masters of satire--not them.
> "Hmmmm..." Tenchi sighed.
>
> "Thats it! Today im going to show her that I truly love
her and end this
> silly fighting!" exclaimed Tenchi.
>
> <Tenchi>: oh just a LITTLE OOC
ACHIKA: Excuse me?
TOM: He's implying that he enjoys it when Ayeka and Ryoko
fight.
CROW: Tenchi would never stop a fight.
> Tenchi then got dressed and snuck past Ryoko and Ayeka who
were too busy
> fighting to notice Tenchi. On his way down to breakfast,
a scary thought
> popped up in Tenchi's mind,
>
> "Oh no! That bitch Sakuya still thinks I love her!!
AARRGG!" Tenchi thought
> to himself.
>
> <Tenchi>: Well thats not very nice!!
> <Ryoko&Ayeka>: KILL THE BITCH!!
> <Tenchi>: Ummm..
ACHIKA: Sakuya?
TOM: Oh yeah. This is "Shin" Tenchi. That explains
why
he's so out-of-character.
> "Oh well.. HEHEHE I have the perfect plan!!"
Tenchi said to himself as an
> evil smile crossed his lips.
CROW: Now, the deep hurting begins.
> Just then, out of the blue, came Noboyuki wearing a pink
tutu and holding
> a paper mache wand,
>
> <Ayeka>: Well that was a little blunt.
> <Tenchi>: WTF is this author thinking?? My dad wearing
a pink TUTU???
> <Ryoko>: well you gotta remember, you said it yourself,
this author
> is phucked up!!
ACHIKA: So, why are you still reading?
TOM: Good point.
CROW: I don't know. I think the tutu is funny.
> "AHAHAHAH!! I AM MAGICAL PRETTY GIRL NOBOYUKI!!!!
AHAHAHAHAH" screamed a
> very deranged Noboyuki.
TOM: I've never been so insulted!
CROW: (laughing hysterically)
ACHIKA: You two are taking this too seriously.
> "I WILL MAKE EVERYONE LOVE EVERYONE!!!! AHAHHAHAHA!!!"
screamed MPGNoboyuki
> as he skipped out the front door and headed to the bus stop.
((MPGNoboyuki
> stands for Magical Girl Pretty Noboyuki, incase you didnt
know :P) -AAA-PhuckNut)
TOM: The transparent cry for attention.
ACHIKA: Looks more like generic anger.
CROW: (still laughing) He left out the part where a dog
bites him in the leg, and he has to drag it to the bus stop.
TOM: Don't tell me you're enjoying this?
CROW: Hmm... No. Not really.
> <Ayeka>: I will make everyone love everyone?? boy
that makes alot of sense
> <Tenchi>: About as much sense as this fic does!
CROW: (as Ryoko) So, let's go do something else!
> "Oh Great!! There goes dad acting insane again!!
That dirty bastard!" Tenchi
> yelled.
>
> <Ryoko>: insane again?? what did i miss?
ACHIKA: "Dirty bastard..." Oh, I see. Noboyuki
is a self-
insert.
TOM: You've seen SI before?
ACHIKA: I invented SI...
CROW: Huh?
> Tenchi ran to the kitchen and yelled to Sasami,
>
> "Sasami! Quick call the Shady Oaks Insane Asylum!! Dad
thinks he's
> Magical Girl Pretty Noboyuki again!!" Tenchi beamed.
>
> <Tenchi>: this author belongs in the Shady Oaks Insane
Asylum.
> <Ayeka>: you said it..
TOM: "Shady Oaks?" In Okayama?
CROW: Right in between "Wal-Mart" and "Red Lobster."
> "NOO!! Not again!! This could be dangerous!!" Sasami said.
ACHIKA: "Could" be dangerous?
TOM: Yeah, last time he only killed three or four people.
> Sasami then called the Shady Oaks Insane Asylum,
>
> "Hello! and welcome to the Shady Oaks Insane Asylum
automated commiting
> a person to the asylum hotline!" said a robotic recording.
>
> <Ryoko>: Well what do ya know.. it has its own hotline..
CROW: (as Ryoko) I have to write that down for future
reference. Hmm...
> "If you are being murdered by an insane criminal, please
press 1 now."
> said the recording.
>
> <Ayeka>: that joke was so funny, i forgot to laugh..
TOM: You know, this is insulting on so many levels.
ACHIKA: I thought Kain would do something worse than this.
CROW: Just wait. It's only getting started.
> "If you are the insane person, please press 2 now."
said the recording.
>
> <Tenchi>: HAHAAH good one.. not.
CROW: (as Tenchi) I happen to know several insane
criminals, and there's nothing funny about that joke.
> "If Magical Girl Pretty Noboyuki is on the loose again,
please press
> 3 now." said the recording.
>
> <Ayeka>: Oh look, it has its own button just for Noboyuki.
> <Ryoko>: Makes sense, considering he goes insane everyday
> <Tenchi>: Not
TOM: All this humor going to waste.
CROW: It's tragic, really.
> Sasami then pressed 3,
>
> "Thank you for choosing 3, please hold for an operator!"
said the
> recording.
CROW: (as recording) "...while we play 'Muskrat Love'
in
the background."
TOM: (as Sasami) Damn! I've been on hold for an hour!
> Sasami waited patiently while some elevator played over
the phone.
> Finally a operator came on,
>
> <Tenchi>: while some elevator played over the phone?
> <Ryoko>: some elevators played with each other!!
> <Ayeka>: my god this authors an illiterate bastard!
TOM: I don't think "illiterate" is the right word.
CROW: He's too hard on himself. He writes on at least a
fourth-grade level.
> "MGPNoboyuki is out again!!!" screamed the operator
sounding very
> scared.
>
> "Yes he just came out!! He left the house and headed
for the bus to
> Tokyo!" yelled Sasami.
ACHIKA: (relieved) Tokyo! Thank goodness. It's nearly
four-hundred miles to Tokyo from Okayama.
TOM: About eight hours by bus.
CROW: About eight seconds in 'fic time, though.
> "OH GREAT!! THIS IS TERRIBLE!! Has he raped any small
animals yet?!"
> said the operator.
>
> <Tenchi>: RAPING SMALL ANIMALS??? GROSS!!!
> <Ryoko&Ayeka>: YUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!
CROW: Uh--
TOM: Hey, Crow. I wouldn't, if I were you.
CROW: Oh, right. Sorry, Achika.
ACHIKA: What are you worried about? This is "Shin"
Tenchi,
right?
TOM: Yeah, but we don't know where the other Tenchi is
from.
> "No, not that I know of.. But you better hurry before
he does!!"
> Sasmi said.
ACHIKA: Poor Sasami. Can't anyone spell her name right?
CROW: Gotta make room for all those exclamation marks!!!!!
> (But it was too late)
>
> <Ayeka>: Oh great.. this is gonna be bad..
> <Tenchi&Ryoko>: -gulp-
TOM: Wait! They just now figured that out!?
CROW: "Gonna be bad?" Isn't that like saying "gonna
be
wet" while going over the Niagra falls?
> _________________________________________________________________________
>
>
> MGPNoboyuki skipped along through the woods until he ran
into a squirel,
>
> "HELLO MR. SQUIREL!! I AM MAGICAL GIRL PRETTY NOBOYUKI!
I WILL SHOW
> YOU LOVE!!" screamed MGPNoboyuki.
>
> <Ryoko&Ayeka>: your dad is wierd Tenchi!!
> <Tenchi>: Umm.. What are you talking about? I dont
know him.
TOM: Technically, nobody knows anyone. You're just lucky
he can't spell "weird."
> The squirel shrieked in terror as MGPNoboyuki grabbed
onto the squirel,
> then he lifted his tutu and rammed his hard cock into the
squirel's
> ass,
>
> <Tenchi>: NOOOOOOO!!!! GROOOOOOOOSSSS!!!!!!
> <Ryoko>: -BARF-
> <Ayeka>: OOHH MY VIRGIN EYES!!
TOM: Well, he's finally depicted them in-character.
CROW: Better late than never.
ACHIKA: No, better never.
> "HAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA!!" yelled MGPNoboyuki.
>
> MGPNoboyuki's penis ripped through the squirel's entire body
and popped
> out of the top of the squirel's head. Then the squirels body
split in half
> and squirel blood covered MGPNoboyuki's cock. MGPNoboyuki
then took the
> squirel's body and happily ate it,
CROW: Notice my refusal to laugh.
TOM: We notice, Crow.
> <Tenchi&Ryoko&Ayeka>: -At this time they
are not able to talk because
> they are busy puking all over each other-
ACHIKA: Strange. I feel nauseous, but it's more of a blank
nausea.
TOM: That's the sinking feeling that the author just
crashed his story completely.
CROW: All that's left is to grind the story into the dust.
> "IT IS MY DUTY TO SHOW LOVE TO ALL THE CREATURES
OF GODS PLANET!!" screamed
> MGPNoboyuki.
TOM: He's a closet monotheist. How about that?
CROW: Actually, he said "gods." You just can't tell
because he's SCREAMING.
> He then skipped off down the trail to the bus.
ACHIKA: And they all lived happily ever after...
TOM: Huh?
CROW: (chuckling) I get it.
ACHIKA: No, you don't.
CROW: (suddenly not laughing) Huh?
> __________________________________________________________________________
>
>
> "Well, I guess we shouldn't worry too much now, Sasami."
said Tenchi.
>
> <Tenchi>: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN NOT WORRY!! Didnt
you see what he
> just did to that squirel!!!!
> <Ryoko>: Umm Tenchi.. no he didnt.. he's inside the
house..
> <Tenchi>: Oh
> <Ayeka>: -still puking-
TOM: Inside the house? What about the "trail to the
bus?"
CROW: Just kidding. You don't think he's really going to
Tokyo, do you?
ACHIKA: No, that would require creativity, or real talent.
> "Yeah, I guess so.. The insane asylum should take
care of everything."
> said Sasami.
CROW: (as Sasami) I wonder why they keep letting him out.
TOM: (as Tenchi) They were still working out the bugs in
their automated phone system, remember?
CROW: (as Sasami) Oh!
> "But dont you remember what happend last time?"
said Sasami.
>
> "Yeah I know, it took 15 men to stop him from raping
all those people in
> Tokyo, they practically beat him to death with night sticks."
said Tenchi.
>
> <Ryoko>: Wow your dad can sure take a beating!
> <Tenchi>: Or maybe cause this author is retarded, he
just over-exagerated
> when he said 15 men
CROW: (as Tenchi) It was only fourteen!
TOM: (as Ryoko) Huh?
> "Well I hope they can fix him permanently this time!"
exclaimed Sasami.
>
> <Ayeka>: -done puking- What do they mean fix him permanently?
As in
> killing him??
TOM: Sasami's smarter than Ayeka?
CROW: It's her youthful naivete. Obviously, this version
of Noboyuki can't be fixed.
> "Me too. Well I have to go take care of some business,
Ill see ya later
> Sasami." said Tenchi.
CROW: (as Tenchi) I have an appointment for a manicure.
It's much more important than honorable father's mental
health.
> <Ryoko>: Well if it is killing him, then Tenchi
seems to aggree.
> <Tenchi>: I do not aggree to kill my dad!! Well, maybe
the version
> of my dad in this fic..
ACHIKA: No. He's talking about Ryoko. Remember?
TOM: Oh! Right...
CROW: Wow. Kain can be very subtle.
ACHIKA: There's nothing subtle about this. I see right
through it. It leads to Sakuya's brutal murder.
> "Ok Tenchi see ya later!" Sasami said.
>
> Tenchi then left the kitchen and headed up the stairs to
Ryoko's room.
> Tenchi arrived at her room and opened the door, and she wasnt
there,
TOM: Now, the deep hurting starts.
> "Hmm, she must be at her favorite tree, ill go there."
Tenchi said to
> himself.
>
> <Ryoko>: I have a favorite tree?
> <Tenchi>: I guess so.
CROW: Speaking of "ill-"ness...
TOM: Maybe we can go reason with Kain...
> Tenchi then went downstairs and headed out the door, avoiding
Ayeka, who
> was sitting on the couch watching TV. Tenchi got outside
safely and went
> to Ryoko's favorite tree, and he saw her laying up there
on a branch,
>
> <Ayeka>: I do not just sit on the couch and watch TV
all day!!
CROW: What the--?
TOM: And yet, she doesn't seem to mind watching this 'fic.
> "Wow, she is so beautiful." Tenchi thought to
himself when he saw her.
>
> <Tenchi>: Gee ya think?
> <Ryoko>: -blushes-
> <Ayeka>: -starts to get angry-
ACHIKA: This Tenchi likes to start fights. He must be
"Shin" Tenchi. The other Tenchi would never do that.
> "Hey Ryoko!" yelled Tenchi.
>
> Ryoko turned her head towards him, and then she saw it was
Tenchi and
> she said,
>
> "Oh hi Tenchi!" then she teleported down next to
him.
>
> "What brings you here?" asked Ryoko when she got
next to him.
>
> <Tenchi>: Well I came to tell you that my dad has gone
insane!
CROW: (as Tenchi) Well, I'm stuck in this stupid 'fic, and
I do things every now and then for no apparent reason.
> "Well, I was wondering if you wanted to take a walk
with me, because
> I have to tell you something.
>
> <Tenchi>: Ok maybe not, I guess I just forgot about
my dad..
TOM: (as Tenchi) Well, I just like to stand around and say
"well," a lot. And it beats trying to deal with honorable
father suddenly raping animals for no reason.
> "Ok, sure." Ryoko said, sounding a little bit
suprised.
>
> They started to walk down a trail that leaded into the forest,
then Tenchi
> spoke up,
>
> <Ayeka>: doesnt he mean, a trail that LEAD into the
forest?
> <Ryoko>: Like you said before, hes an illiterate bastard.
TOM: Aren't they in the forest already?
CROW: No, trees don't grow in the forest.
> "Ryoko, what I wanted to tell you was that.. umm..
I..."
>
> Ryoko's heart started to flutter when she heard him say this,
>
> <Ryoko>: Oh no im having a heart attack!!!
TOM: (as Ryoko) No, wait. It's just gas.
CROW: (as Tenchi) Damn, Ryoko. No more burritos for you!
> "I love you!" exclaimed Tenchi.
CROW: And then Ryoko woke up. The end.
TOM: This story makes a lot more sense that way.
> <Ayeka>: HOW COULD YOU LOVE THAT DEMON!!
> <Tenchi>: Please Ayeka!! Its just the version of me
in the fic!!
> <Ayeka>: Oh im sorry Lord Tenchi, I completely forgot,
I know that you
> could never love that witch in real life.
> <Ryoko>: Who are you calling a witch you bitch!!
> <Tenchi>: hehe you rymed.
> <Ryoko&Ayeka>: GRRRRRR
TOM: These quips are not very convincing.
CROW: He's a poet and he didn't know-- ouch!
ACHIKA: (hitting Crow) Don't encourage him!
> "Oh Tenchi!! You dont know how long I have waited
for you to say that!!
> I love you so much too!!" exclaimed a VERY happy Ryoko.
CROW: (as Tenchi) Uh... I mean, in the Platonic sense.
I'm actually sleeping with Ayeka.
TOM: (as Ryoko) What!?
> <Ryoko>: Yeah! I waited 2 minutes for you to say
it!!
> <Tenchi>: wow, long time!!
TOM: Two minutes of deep hurting.
> They then hugged each other and gazed into one another's
eyes. Their
> faces slowly came closer and closer together until their
lips were touching,
> then they went into a deep kiss. As they kissed, Ryoko moved
her hands
> all over Tenchi's chest, slowly moving downward untill she
put her hands
> into his pants and massaged his growing erection,
CROW: You know, Ryoko nearly does this all the time in the
OVA. I mean, without the kissing.
ACHIKA: Really? What's the OVA?
TOM: Never mind.
> <Ayeka>: YOU SHE-DEMON!!
>
> "Oh TENCHI!! I want you so bad!!" exclaimed Ryoko.
>
> "oh umm.. HEHE.. umm HEH." said a very nervous
Tenchi.
TOM: (as Tenchi) Uh... I changed my mind. I'm dumping
you.
> <Tenchi>: DUH HEHE DUH IM AAA-PhuckNut AND IM UMM.. HEHE.. STUPID!!
ACHIKA: Really?
TOM: He's wrong?
CROW: Unbelievably wrong. So OOC, it's scary.
> Ryoko then teleported them both to Tenchi's room, and
she layed him
> down on the bed and she started to strip,
CROW: She just now started to strip?
TOM: Funny. OVA Ryoko is naked quite frequently.
ACHIKA: Did this curious person write the OVA?
CROW: Oh, hell no! Not even close!
> <Ryoko>: Go me!! Go me!!
> <Ayeka>: You shutup!!
TOM: (as Ryoko) Hey! That's my line! You shut up!
> "mmmmmm.." Ryoko moaned as she stripped her
clothes off.
>
> <Ryoko>: mmmmmm that cinamon bun is delicious!! Oh
sorry Tenchi!! I
> forgot that I was supposed to be stripping for you!!
TOM: (as Ryoko) Oops. I forgot. I can't actually taste
food, either.
CROW: TV Ryoko can taste food. I think...
> "My god.. she is so fucking gorgeous!!" Tenchi
though to himself.
>
> <Tenchi>: Wow ya just notice that??
CROW: He refers to himself in the third person?
TOM: Actually, that happens a lot. Just not very often in
the English language.
> Ryoko finished taking her clothes off and started to take
Tenchis off.
> She took his pants off and then got on top of him, stradling
his waist.
> She then slowly sat on Tenchi's cock,
TOM: I'll bet you didn't know there was more than one
Tenchi.
CROW: Ryoko's into group sex?
> <Ayeka>: Crushing it into a bloody mess!!
> <Tenchi>: -shudders-
> <Ryoko>: You dirty minded princess!!
> <Ayeka>: You filthy space slut!!
> <Ryoko&Ayeka>: GRRRRRRRRRRR
CROW: That is so OOC.
TOM: This and every other thing they say.
> sliding it up her wet, tight, virgin
> pussy.
CROW: "Virgin." (snorting) Yeah, right. (looking
around)
What?
> "oooohhh Tenchi, ive always wanted my first to be
with you." said Ryoko.
>
> <Ryoko>: Yes, even when I was just 5 years old, I knew
all about you Tenchi.
> <Tenchi>: Obviously this author knows nothing about
time..
> <Ayeka>: Obviously -she said using a fake snobby voice-
TOM: (as Ayeka, feigning smugness) Obviously!
CROW: Nicely done.
TOM: Actually, we haven't determined what the author knows.
CROW: Hopefully, we won't find out, either.
> "Ive always wanted my first to be with you too."
said Tenchi.
>
> <Tenchi>: I also knew all about you too Ryoko, when
I was 5 years old!
ACHIKA: All right, already. We get the point.
TOM: Yeah, I think that ship sailed about five years ago.
> "Wow she's a virgin?? I never would have guessed
that by the way she acts!"
> Tenchi thought to himself.
>
> <Ayeka>: Yeah! Ryoko the space slut!
> <Ryoko>: GRRRRRRRRRRRRR
TOM: It's official. Ayeka and Ryoko are interchangeable.
CROW: Just like the original story and its satire.
> Ryoko started to bounce on him faster and faster,
CROW: (as Yakko Warner) Boingy! Boingy! Boingy!
TOM: The lack of detail here is just sad.
CROW: (lugubriously) Tell me about it.
> "RYOKO!! YES!!!" screamed Tenchi as he blew
his load into her.
>
> <Tenchi>: my load of what??
> <Ryoko&Ayeka>: Tenchi, your so hopeless..
TOM: Boy. One cliche after another. How does he do it?
> "OOOOOHH YESSSS TENCHIIIIIII!!" screamed Ryoko
as she orgasmed shortly after
> Tenchi.
CROW: In spite of everything science has proven over the
last five thousand years.
> Then they slowed down and got off each other and went
into a deep kiss,
>
> <Ryoko>: Well that was some short sex..
> <Ayeka>: Well what would you expect from a dirty tramp
like you!!
> <Tenchi>: Girls!! please calm down!!
TOM: Oops! He's accidentally in-character again.
CROW: He only uses IC for dramatic effect.
> "I love you so much!" said Ryoko.
>
> "I love you too Ryoko, that was soooo good..."
said Tenchi.
>
> <Tenchi>: yes for the 3 minutes it lasted, it was good..
CROW: Three minutes? (snorting) More like three seconds.
> Then they kissed each other some more and eventually fell asleep...
TOM: Meanwhile...
> ____________________________________________________________________________
>
>
> MGPNoboyuki neared the bus stop, he had already raped 3 squirels,
2 dogs, and
> a goat,
CROW: I told you he wasn't inside!
> <Tenchi>: GOD THATS JUST WRONG!!!!
> <Ryoko>: Wow Tenchi! Your dad sure gets around!!
> <Tenchi>: GRRRRRRRRRRR
TOM: (as Tenchi) That goat wasn't raped! She was asking
for it!
> "NOW I WILL GO TO THE CITY AND SHOW LOVE TO EVERYONE!!!
AHAHAHHAHAHA!" screamed
> MGPNoboyuki.
>
> Just as he got close to the bus stop, he saw the all to common
sight, to him, of
> the white paddy wagon with its sirens on speeding his way,
>
> <Ayeka>: Yes, Noboyuki sees white paddy wagons speeding
at him everyday..
ACHIKA: (sigh) Nothing like kicking a dead horse.
CROW: Yeah. Enough, already! We get the point!
> "THE ANTI-LOVE MEN HAVE COME TO STOP MY LOVE!! I
MUST RUN!!" screamed MGPNoboyuki.
>
> <Ayeka>: oh yay! the anti-love men!! what an orginal
name!!
> <Tenchi>: More like a super-retarded name...
TOM: Isn't this over yet? The humor--if there was any--ran
out a long time ago.
CROW: Humor? What humor?
TOM: You were the one laughing it up.
CROW: Oh, yeah. The tutu. Hey, that seemed like years
ago.
> He then ran back as fast as he could to the house. When
he got to the house and
> came to the front gate he saw Azaka and Kamidake.
>
> "AHAHAHA!! I MUST SHOW MY FRIENDS LOVE!!" screamed
MGPNoboyuki as he headed
> right towards Azaka.
>
> <Ryoko>: Somehow I feel this isnt going to be pretty..
TOM: It just now occurs to you?
CROW: Yeah. This is shocking. I was just starting to
think this was a perfectly normal story.
> "Ah, greetings sir!" said Azaka as MGPNoboyuki
headed towards him.
>
> "Um sir? May I ask why you are wearing that womans dress?"
asked Azaka.
>
> <Ayeka>: Because hes insane obviously!!
CROW: Wow, this is sad.
TOM: Yeah. This is insulting to insane people. I'm glad
Mike isn't watching this.
> "I WILL SHOW YOU LOVE MY LOG FRIEND!!" screamed
MGPNoboyuki.
>
> "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Azaka screamed.
>
> <Tenchi>: Oh god!
> <Ayeka>: -covers her eyes-
ACHIKA: (sigh) Let me guess. Another attempt at humor?
CROW: Call it a stab in the dark.
TOM: (groaning) Please, don't use phallic imagery.
> MGPNoboyuki quickly grabbed ahold of Azaka, and plunged
his penis into
> Azaka's little electric eye thingy. His penis shattered the
glass eye,
> and destroyed all the electronics inside. MGPNoboyuki was
in pure
> ecstasy as the broken glass and sharp electric components
ripped up his
> penis. Blood started pouring from his penis,
>
> <Tenchi>: OH YES!! pure ecstasy!! my penis is being
shredded up!! OH YES!!
> <Ryoko>: -puke- -barf-
> <Ayeka>: is it over yet?? -eyes still closed-
CROW: (as Tenchi) Hey, Ryoko. You can just teleport out
of here, if you really wanted.
TOM: (as Ryoko) No, Tenchi. I can't leave you with Ayeka.
She might seduce you with all that vomit all over her.
> "AHHHHHHHH-----" was all Azaka could say before
he lost power.
>
> Kamidake was smart and already ran away when MGPNoboyuki
attacked Azaka.
> MGPNoboyuki pulled his penis out of Azaka and cried at what
he saw,
CROW: (as Kamidake) Ayeka, your highness! The most
bizarre thing just happened!
TOM: (as Ayeka) I knew it! That pervert just assaulted my
loyal guardian! Put him to death, Kamidake!
> <Tenchi>: Oh really? he just noticed that? I guess
he cant feel his penis..
>
> "NOOOOO MY LOVE STICK HAS BEEN DESTROYED!! HOW CAN I
SHOW LOVE TO
> EVERYONE NOW??!! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" screamed MGPNoboyuki.
>
> <Ryoko>: Thank god!! maybe now that he cant do anything
this stupid
> fic will end!!
CROW: I'm just glad Mihoshi and Kiyone aren't around.
TOM: (shuddering) Don't even think it.
> MGPNoboyuki's penis was a bloody mangled mess of shreds
of skin and stuff.
>
> <Ayeka>: -opens eyes, only to see that sight- -PUKE
BARF-
>
> "I GOT IT!! I WILL JUST MAKE MYSELF BECOME REBORN SO
I WILL HAVE A NEW
> LOVE STICK!!!!" exclaimed a very happy MGPNoboyuki.
>
> <Tenchi>: Riiiiiight....
CROW: Whoa! Touche! That quip really cut to the quick!
> MGPNoboyuki then ran into the house and into the kitchen,
where Sasami
> was,
TOM: Because Sasami just loves to cook, even when an insane
criminal is on the loose.
> "Oh no!!!! HES HERE!!!" screamed Sasami, unfortuneatly no one heard her.
CROW: Yeah. Ayeka was busy watching television--a mere
fifteen feet away.
> "YOU WILL HOLD MY REBORN FETUS!!!!" screamed
MGPNoboyuki.
>
> <Ryoko>: YUUCK!!!!!!
> <Tenchi>: eeeewwwwwwwww
TOM: (sullen) This is a laugh riot.
CROW: This part is like a funeral.
> He then grabbed a knife and sliced his scrotum off. He
took his nuts
> and broke them open and grabbed onto Sasami and shoved them
up her
> pussy,
>
> <Ryoko>: bbbbbllaaaaaacccccchhhh -ryoko then puked
some more-
> <Tenchi>: -balls up and starts crying-
> <Ayeka>: -gets back up from puking, sees the screen,
pukes more-
CROW: No reaction from me, but pure shock.
TOM: Yeah. At how low this author will sink for what his
sad, pathetic mind thinks is humor.
> "OH GOD HELP MEEEEEEEEE!!!!!" screamed Sasami.
>
> "AHAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHA!!!!! NOW TO GO BECOME REBORN!!!"
screamed MGPNoboyuki.
>
> MGPNoboyuki then ran out of the house with the knife and
stabbed himself
> in the head so that he could be reborn. Then knife punctured
the side
> of his skull and went straight through his brain, he died
a few seconds
> later. Of course, he was insane and he wasnt reborn..
>
> <Ryoko>: That was fucking nasty!!!!!!
> <Ayeka>: Tenchi are you crying??
> <Tenchi>: -gets up real fast and wipes tears away-
NO! of course not!!
> why would i ever cry?!?!
ACHIKA: This is definitely "Shin" Tenchi. Only
"Shin"
Tenchi would cry when he should be shaking in fury.
TOM: Yeah. OVA Tenchi would have killed Ryo-Ohki for even
the hint of something this bad.
> _________________________________________________________________________
>
>
> Tenchi woke up and looked over to see Ryoko still asleep.
Just then
> Ayeka burst into the room and saw a naked Tenchi and Ryoko
hugging
> each other in bed.
>
> "YOU DEMON!! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO TENCHI!!" screamed
Ayeka.
CROW: Well, this explains why Ayeka wasn't in the kitchen
saving Sasami from a fate worse than death.
TOM: Sneaking into Tenchi's room, instead. Wow, is this
OOC!
> <Ayeka>: You tell her girlfriend!!
>
> "AYEKA!!" Tenchi yelled.
>
> "Its.. its not her fault Ayeka.. I love her Ayeka.."
Tenchi confessed.
>
> <Ayeka>: TENCHI!! YOU WHAT?!?!?!?
> <Tenchi>: AYEKA!! calm down!! its JUST THE FIC!!!
> <Ayeka>: oh right.. im sorry again Tenchi
ACHIKA: "Just the 'fic?"
TOM: Yeah, blame it on the concept of fantasy.
CROW: Never mind a murderous, raping madman on the loose.
What's important is this Ayeka/Ryoko thing.
> Ayeka ran out of the room crying and ran out of the house
past
> Noboyuki's bloody corpse, not even caring about it. Ayeka
headed out
> into the woods and found a tree and sat by it.
>
> <Ryoko>: Yes, no one cares about Noboyuki's body.
TOM: Or Sasami, apparently.
> "WHYYY!!! WHY DOES HE LOVE HER!!!!!!" screamed
Ayeka.
>
> <Ryoko>: Because im so much better, obviously!!
> <Ayeka>: you are not better than me!!!!
> <Ryoko&Ayeka>: GRRRRRRRRRRRRR
CROW: Again?
TOM: (sighing) Yeah. The author's obviously psychotic.
> "How could he fall in love with that... that.. that
DEMON!!" screamed
> Ayeka.
>
> Ayeka cried some more, then decided that she didnt belong
here anymore.
>
> <Ryoko>: She never did in the first place! its about
time she finally
> realized it!!
> <Ayeka>: YOU SHUTUP!!
> <Tenchi>: Please stop fighting!!
TOM: They're arguing. Gee, that's funny.
CROW: I guess this guy thinks monotony is a good replacement
for creativity.
> "He doesnt love me.. he loves HER.. I dont need to
stay here.. IM
> LEAVING!!" yelled Ayeka.
ACHIKA: And they call Noboyuki insane?
TOM: Yeah, Ayeka would never leave at this point.
> And at that she went back to the house and found Sasami
balled up in
> a corner crying her eyes out,
>
> <Ryoko>: Id be crying too, if Noboyuki did that to
me!
>
> "Sasami!! Lets go we are leaving!!" yelled Ayeka.
CROW: (as Ayeka) But first, we're going to nuke this
place. Put everyone here out of their misery.
> Ayeka then grabbed Sasami and they left, never to return.
>
> <Ryoko>: Good riddens to bad rubbish!!
> <Ayeka>: THATS IT!! -Ayeka then got up and slapped
Ryoko-
> <Ryoko>: You prissy little princess!! you dare slap
me!!!!
> <Tenchi>: GIRLS!!! STOP NOW!!!!!!
> -suprisingly the girls stop, and then sit back down-
CROW: Huh?
TOM: Hey, it's an attempt at realism.
CROW: Oh yeah. That makes up for all the stupidity.
> __________________________________________________________________________
>
>
> "Theres still one thing I have to do, my love"
Tenchi said to a sleeping
> Ryoko.
TOM: (as Tenchi) I must call the police, and report all
this.
> "I must KILL THAT SAKUYA BITCH!!" screamed Tenchi, almost waking Ryoko up.
ACHIKA: (sigh) Didn't see this one coming a mile away.
> <Ayeka&Ryoko>: Finally!! Something redeeming about this fic!!
CROW: Redeeming? Why does Tenchi hate Sakuya?
TOM: Bad dialogue.
CROW: Huh?
TOM: Sakuya kept stealing his scenes.
> Tenchi then went to the phone and called up his 'old friend'.
>
> "Hello? God father?" said Tenchi.
>
> <Tenchi>: Hello? God? could you please strike Sakuya
with lightning?
TOM: Boy! How offensive is that?
CROW: More cliche than offensive, really.
> "hmm Tenchi is that you?" said the voice with a heavy italian accent.
TOM: And we all know how funny Italians are.
> "Yes, it is I, I need you to 'take care' of someone
for me."
>
> <Tenchi>: Yes, it is I, I it is
> <Ryoko&Ayeka> -sigh-
>
> Tenchi then told what he wanted to his Italian friend.
>
> <Tenchi>: I want a million bucks, and a pony!!
> <Ryoko as Italian guy>: Sure thing sonny!!
> <Ayeka>: Hmmm.. GAY?
> <Tenchi&Ryoko> -shocked by what Ayeka just said-
TOM: (upset) This guy is really pissing me off!
CROW: (chuckling) Calm down, Tom. He's just ripping off
South Park, at this point.
TOM: South Park is never this stupid!
> ___________________________________________________________________________
>
>
> Sakuya sat in her shitty little hovel she calls home,
>
> <Tenchi>: her shitty little hovel was practically the
same as mine
> in Tenchi in Tokyo..
> <Ryoko>: Tell me about it..
TOM: Yeah, that confirms it. He's "Shin" Tenchi.
CROW: (shuddering) The horror--
> thinking about
> Tenchi, when she heard a knock on the door. Sakuya went and
answered the
> door and saw 2 tall, strong looking, italian men wearing
very expensive
> looking suits, and black sun glasses.
>
> <Ayeka>: The mafia!!
> <Ryoko>: Say hello to my little friend!!
> <Tenchi>: -sigh- Too many bad jokes... -sigh-
CROW: Actually, not enough bad jokes.
TOM: Sorry, PhuckNut. We're not laughing with you. We're
laughing at you. Better luck next time.
CROW: Next time? Are you crazy?
TOM: Oops! What am I saying?!
> "Good day miss, you must be Sakuya?" said the
first man.
>
> <Ryoko, as sakuya>: No im Janet Reno, cant you tell?
fucking idiots..
>
> "Yes my name is Sakuya. May I help you?" said a
puzzled Sakuya.
>
> "Would you please come with us? A man named Tenchi would
like to see you."
> said the man.
>
> Sakuya didnt want to go..
>
> <Ayeka&Ryoko>: Because she really hates Tenchi!!
> <Tenchi>: hmm...
TOM: Deep hurting, again.
CROW: Yes. It's becoming palpable.
> but then she heard him say Tenchi wanted to see
> her, so she went with them. They arrived outside and they
went over to
> the shiny black car, with black tinted windows. She got in
the back and
> noticed there was a driver already waiting in the car.
>
> <Tenchi>: well isnt that just dandy..
>
> The ride was totally silent untill they reached their destination,
but
> Sakuya was puzzled..
>
> "Why are we at the docks?" asked Sakuya.
>
> <Ayeka>: Because we're in the mafia and your gonna
get some cement
> shoes!!
TOM: Ouch.
CROW: Deep hurting...
> "Your friend Tenchi is waiting for you on a yacht
out at sea, we will get
> on a boat and head out to him." said one of the men.
>
> "Oh ok." said Sakuya.
>
> <Ryoko>: Boy, Sakuya sure is smart, going far out to
sea with some
> people she doesnt even know!
> <Tenchi>: She's majorly OOC...
CROW: Deep--!
TOM: --hurting!
> They hopped on a motor boat and headed out to the yacht.
They finally
> arrived at the yacht.
>
> "Come, your friend awaits you." said one of the
men.
>
> Sakuya and the men stepped off the boat and onto the yacht.
>
> "Please wait here while I go and get him." said
one of the men.
>
> The man walked around to the other side of the captains area.
>
> <Ayeka>: The captains area, isnt it called the bridge??
>
> "Please follow me." said one of the men standing
next to Sakuya.
>
> <Tenchi>: didnt they just tell her to wait there?
> <Ryoko>: they're just stupid and cant make up their
minds..
TOM and CROW: Deep hurting!
> "Ok." said Sakuya as she followed him.
>
> They headed around to the other side where the other guy
had gone,
> then Sakuya noticed a box with what looked like wet cement
inside it.
>
> "What is that? It looks like cement." asked Sakuya.
>
> <Ayeka>: Wow very observant my young apprentice
>
> All of the sudden one of the men grabbed Sakuya and shoved
her feet into
> the wet cement.
>
> "AHHHHHHH!!! what are you doing!!" screamed Sakuya.
>
> <Ryoko>: Giving you some cement shoes! DUH!!
>
> Then one of the guys stuck duct tape over her mouth. Then
all 3 of them
> pulled out their pistols and started shooting her in the
legs, filling her
> legs with hot lead.
>
> <Tenchi>: ouch..
ACHIKA: I think even satire Tenchi can feel it.
TOM: Yes. Deep hurting is universal.
> "MMMPPPPPHHH" Sakuya screamed in pain.
>
> Blood poured from her legs, then one man grabbed a crowbar
and started to
> beat her in the spine with it. The sound of bones cracking
could be heard
> very clearly.
>
> <Ayeka>: the wonderful sound of cracking bones..
> <Ryoko>: -snap- -crack-!!
CROW: He can't describe a love scene that lasts longer than
two seconds, but he describes this in loving detail.
TOM: Yes. I think we're being forced to learn what this
author truly understands.
CROW: Now, I think I know how Sasami feels.
> Then they strapped a bomb to her that was set to detonate
> when her heartbeat slowed almost to stopping, but not quite.
>
> <Tenchi>: I guess they just had all this sitting around..
>
> They shot her
> in the arms some more, then threw her into the ocean once
the cement dried.
> She sunk like a rock,
>
> <Tenchi>: Well she did have a giant rock on her feet!!
>
> screaming all the way down, she started losing oxygen
> quickly,
>
> <Ayeka>: Really? what ever gave the author the idea
that she might
> lose oxygen while under water?
>
> and her blood filled the water, her heart slowed way down
and then
> the bomb detonated filling the water with blood and chunks
of her body.
>
> <Ryoko>: What a pretty picture. -puke-
>
> Then extremely hungry sharks arrived and ate her remaining
body parts.
> That was the end of Sakuya!!
>
> <Ayeka&Ryoko>: Yay.
TOM: The end.
CROW: I wish.
> ((YES AHAHHAHAHAHAAH!!! SAKUYA THE BITCH IS DEAD!!! HAHHHAHAHAHA)
> - AAA-PhuckNut)
TOM: So nice to see an unbiased opinion.
> <Ayeka&Ryoko>: Maybe he isnt as stupid as we
thought?
> <Tenchi>: Nah, hes still pretty stupid..
> <Ayeka&Ryoko>: yup..
CROW: I think the word is "psychotic," not stupid.
> ____________________________________________________________________________
>
>
> Tenchi and Ryoko were married and lived happily ever after,
having
> 8 kids.
>
> <Ryoko>: YAY!
TOM: (as Ryoko) Just what I always wanted! To discover
that Tenchi and his father are both homicidal maniacs while
covered with my own vomit!
> ____________________________________________________________________________
>
> THE END
CROW: (sighing melodramatically) Finally!
TOM: The nightmare ends!
> Dont forget to join my chat room if ya want!!
> Just connect to a DAL.net server and join #Ryoko
> See ya there!
>
> <Tenchi&Ryoko&Ayeka>: Ya lets join the room!!
>
>
> Send all comments to:
> viperz00@winfire.com
>
> THE END of the MST
> Im one phucked up motherphucker!!!!
CROW: I'm so embarrassed. I can't believe how dirty I feel right now.
TOM: Let's get out of here. I don't want to risk seeing that crap again!
ACHIKA: Yes. One last monster to deal with.
***
Satellite of Love:
KAIN: (smug) So, I see you're not so smug now. You think I can't wreak my vengeance on you?
ACHIKA: (casual) You can't touch me, Kain. If you could, you'd be here, right now.
KAIN: You want to see that drivel again?
Tom and Crow tremble in fear. Achika simply laughs.
ACHIKA: You idiot! Is that all you've got? Because if it is, you won't see an ounce of your vaunted revenge!
KAIN: You can't honestly say that you enjoyed it?
ACHIKA: No, but I don't see it the way you do.
KAIN: Oh, really?
ACHIKA: Yeah.
TOM: Achika. What are you doing? Are you nuts?
CROW: I'm not going back in there. I'd rather have my visual sensors gouged out!
ACHIKA: Trust me, guys. This is all over. I've beat him.
KAIN: So, tell me, woman. What did you see? What I saw was gross and disturbing and so wonderfully violent in so many ways. Don't tell me you're becoming psychotic, too?
ACHIKA: No, I'm not. But what I saw was the thrashing fit of a misunderstood soul. Sure, there's some humor in there, but that's not the point. The point is, the author of this story is sick. All he really needs is hope, and I--for one--think that there is hope for him, yet.
TOM and CROW look very perplexed.
ACHIKA: You see, unlike yourself, the author of this story has made his peace with the fact that he is sick, and he is simply trying to come to terms with it. It's quite simple, when you think about it.
KAIN: Fine. You be that way. For all I care, you can watch 'fics till the end of time! And I'll find ones that are far worse than this!
ACHIKA: No you won't. You're finished, Kain.
KAIN: Oh? And just how do you intend to finish me?
ACHIKA: Like this-- (gesturing at the display) Now! Do it, Mike!
***
Deep 13:
Mike is standing, the cone of a hose pointed at Kain. He twists a valve at the end, and an icy blast of air hits Kain. Kain soon freezes solid.
Mike then shuts off the valve, assessing his work.
MIKE: He's one frosty monster, now!
Achika appears at the display, the 'bots next to her.
ACHIKA: Finish him, Mike. Do it, fast!
MIKE: Huh? Oh, right!
He kicks the creature, and Kain falls apart in shards. Mike then sweeps up the shards and dumps them into a trash chute.
ACHIKA: I'm glad to see you've recovered.
MIKE: Yeah, well... When I realized that Ayeka and Ryoko were real, it brought everything into focus again. It just took a while to get out of the straight jacket, let me tell you--
CROW: Hey Mike, just shut up and get us down, huh?
MIKE: Oh, right. Hmm... Now, how do I do that?
THE END
***
Stinger:
<Tenchi>: WHAT THE HELL DO YOU MEAN NOT WORRY!! Didnt
you see what he
just did to that squirel!!!!
