I don’t own Gundam Wing or anything that has to do with the show. ::Sneers at the people who do own Gundam Wing, and wishes she had it:: Be warned, 1x2 Shonen ai lies ahead…If ya don’t like it, then don’t read it! Send me any comments, questions or death threats. Arigato. Now on with the fic!
I must say that I feel like a complete idiot right now.
You’d think with a background like mine; my early childhood, my training, and I’ll I’ve been through in this damn war, I’d be afraid of something else. The word that best describes my life is hell, but still, that doesn’t make me afraid. Threats of torture or death should scare me, it would sure scare any normal person. But then again, I’m not normal. Those kinds of threats don’t scare me. Not anymore. I’ve been threatened, beaten, shot, tortured, imprisoned, and a whole slue of other things I won’t even go into. Even Heero’s patented “Death Glares” don’t scare me anymore…Most of the time anyway. No person or man made invention can frighten me. They’re not supposed to. I’m the God of Death for Pete’s sake!
So why am I hiding under this blanket while a dinky little spring thunderstorm is going on outside my window?
I know the stupid thing can’t do me any harm. I just spent the last fifteen minutes telling myself that. Except for possibly loosing a few years off my life because my heart starts pounding in my throat because of a clap of thunder, I’ll be just fine. I keep my blanket over my head, close my eyes as tightly as I can, and put my fingers in my ears. All I can do is sit and wait for it to be over. I feel so stupid.
At some point while I’m hiding so bravely under my blankie, the door opens and I hear footsteps coming towards me. Great. Now someone actually knows what I’m doing. I really meant for this to be a private matter. Cowering isn’t something I like to share with others. Who knows what jokes could come from that? Even Quatre would make fun of me for this! I’m not sure who is in the room with me now, but I know that the footsteps stop about a foot or two from my bed.
“Duo?”
Heero?! Oh shit! Heero Yuy. Why did it have to be him? Mr. I’m An Emotionless Perfect Soldier wouldn’t understand what I was doing. He’ll probably end up scolding me for acting like such a coward. It takes me a minute before I stick my head out from the blanket and look over to him.
“Oi, Heero.” I say as brightly as I can with an incredibly fake smile.
“Duo, what are you doing?”
I give him a wide-eyed innocent look. “Doing? Nothing. I’m just…making shadow puppets.” Yeah…making shadow puppets in a completely dark room with no flashlight.
“Without a flashlight?”
Damn he’s observant. “Yeah, without a flashlight, even I can’t guess what they are!” Yep, put that under the already long list of “The Dumbest Things Duo’s Ever Said.”
He looks at me with those stern blue eyes and suddenly I feel the urge to hide again. He knows I’m lying. Dammit, he knows everything! I try to glare back at him, but the intensity in my eyes comes nowhere near to matching his. Finally I just look away, uneasily jumping as another loud clap of thunder sounds outside. I flinch afterward, hoping Heero didn’t see me. I glance at him out of the corner of my eye and I’m rather relieved to find him gazing out the window. “Looks like this storm is going get a lot worse before it gets any better,” He says flatly.
“O-oh yeah?”
“Hn.”
He gives great answers, doesn’t he? Neither one of us continues the brief conversation any farther. Heero just continues staring out my window and I just watch him. I don’t mind saying that he looks good, very good from this view. Cute hair and well toned muscles and…what an ass and—
Bad Duo! Don’t think like that! Relena might find out! Worse, Heero might too, and he’d kill me! I get to just sit and pout as that stupid princess runs off with the only person I’ve ever really had feelings for. Sometimes I wonder if I should just tell him how I feel. There are only two possibilities from there. One, he loves me back and we live happily ever after, and Two, he shoots me in the head and I die right there. Neither one seems that bad.
Suddenly there’s a bright flash of lightning followed by another rumble of thunder, and I instinctively whimper and hide under my blanket again.
Shit.
Heero would have had to notice that…Any idiot would. “What are you doing now?” He asks bluntly. “Playing hide and go seek?”
“Um…no,” I stick my head out from under the blanket and look up at Heero. He’s actually looking at me now. Great. Way to go Duo. Just because of my stupid instinctive reactions, I’m gonna get chewed out big time.
“Duo…you’re afraid of the storm, aren’t you?”
Well that was short, sweet and to the point. I quickly shake my head. I can’t tell him I’m scared. I’d never be able to live it down! Plus that, I’d sure as hell never have a chance with him. “I’m not afraid of anything,” I reply sharply. I look up at him and it’s rather obvious that he doesn’t believe me. We just stare at each other for a long time and Heero finally walks to my bed and sits down next to me.
Well this is new.
I look at Heero in surprise, but his cold expression doesn’t change. It never does. For once in my life, I don’t know what to say. The guy of my dreams is sitting less than a foot away from me and I can’t do anything! Sucks, doesn’t it?
A flash of lightning brightens the entire room for a few moments and I start pulling the blanket over my head, knowing the thunder is coming next. I have it almost to my chest when suddenly Heero catches it one-handed and stops me from pulling it up any farther.
I begin to protest, but Heero speaks first. “Why are you scared?” He asks. “It’s just a thunderstorm.”
“I…” What the hell does he want me to tell him? That I’m scared? That he should just go ahead and kill me because of my stupid weakness? How the hell am I supposed to know why I’m scared? I just am! I’ve always been afraid of storms. I look up at Heero, who is still waiting for an answer. “I…I don’t know,” I finally manage to choke out. "I just don't like storms."
Heero seems a bit confused by my reply. “How can you be afraid of something if you don’t know why?” He asks. “You’ve heard sounds like this and practically been blinded by lights this bright in battle.”
“Yeah…But this is different.”
“How?”
Hell, does he think I know everything all of the sudden? “I dunno.”
Yep, that's me, Mr. Articulate.
He looks at me very seriously and I involuntarily cringe and try to lean back against the headboard. But before I get that far, another rumble of thunder explodes outside, my heart jumps into my throat, and I end up slamming the back of my head against the headboard.
“Itai!”
There’s a long pause, then I unexpectedly hear, “Daijoubu ka?”
God in heaven, it takes me forever to register it, but Heero Yuy just asked me if I was okay! I try to look at him as though I’m not in utter shock, but I can’t. My eyes are probably taking up about half my face by now. He didn’t say ‘Baka,’ or ‘Hn,’ he actually asked if I was okay! Gee, I hope he’s not getting sick. It takes me a long few minutes before I can answer him.
“Wh-what did you just say?!” Hmm…that doesn’t sound quite like yes, but I think he’ll get the idea.
“I asked if you were okay.”
“Hai, I’m fine.”
Something suddenly dawns on me as another crash of thunder makes my heart start to pound again. Wasn’t Heero supposed to be out with Relena tonight? I distinctly remember answering the phone at least six times today, only to have my eardrums blown up by the shrill cry of “Heeeeeeeroooo!” on the other end. I honestly don’t know how Heero can stand her. Nice girl? Of course. She’s just so damn annoying! A quick glance at my alarm clock and I can tell that it’s much too early to be home from a date just yet.
“Ne, Heero?”
“Hm?”
“Um…aren’t you supposed to be out with Relena right now? I thought you guys were gonna go see a movie or something.”
Heero looks out the window for a moment again. “I canceled it,” He said bluntly.
“Oh…How come?”
“I didn’t feel like going out,” He began, turning his gaze back to me. “And personally, she annoys the hell out of me.”
Well I sure as hell wasn’t prepared for that! The way she’s always over here, clinging to him, I always figured Heero would’ve just killed her if she bugged him too much. Heh, shows how much I know.
“So, you don’t like her then?”
“What?” I’ve ever heard Heero sound surprised. It was rather amusing to see his eyes that wide and showing some other emotion than that ‘I’ll kill you’ look.
I start to talk again, but thunder again sounded outside, and this one sounded like someone had set a nuke off next door. That’s what a storm sounds like when it’s right on top of you. It gets very loud and thunder and lightning comes every few seconds. I’m able to hold myself still during the first one, but the second time I automatically fling myself onto the closest solid object.
Which just so happens to be Heero Yuy.
I admit we’re both more than a little surprised when this happens. Heero gasps and once I’ve calmed down enough, I’m honestly waiting for him to kill me, or at the very least scold me for acting like such a baby. With each round of thunder, I cling tighter to him, doing so until I think my arms will break from squeezing so hard. From my estimation, I’m guessing I’ve been holding on to him for nearly two minutes now, and he hasn’t said a word or even tried to pull away. I must really be in for it. He doesn’t even know what to do for God sake! As soon as I let go he’s gonna kill me.
Finally the series of loud thunder seems to be done for the time being and I start to sit up. My heart nearly stops when Heero places his arms around me and holds me against him in what seems to be an embrace. But that can’t be it. I don’t even think Heero knows what a hug is. I raise my head and look at him in confusion. “What are you doing?”
“It’s not over yet,” He replies simply.
As if on cue, a giant bolt of lightning strikes something very close by and causes an explosion louder than any bomb I’ve ever heard. My heart nearly jumps right out of my chest as the lightning makes an ear-splitting ripping sound as it rips a tree in half. I try my best not to scream as I bury my face in Heero’s shirt and shut my eyes as tight as I can. Go ahead now Heero. Make fun of me for being such a whimp.
If this day isn’t just full of surprises. He doesn’t push me or insult me or even perform his all time favorite move of pulling a gun on me.
Instead, I suddenly feel a hand against my back, moving up and down in a very comforting manner. Somehow it calms me down. How on earth is Heero doing this? I open my eyes in surprise and look up at him. I’d expect something like this from Quatre, but Heero?! No. Never. I must be dreaming or something. Heero Yuy would never do this...Not Mr. Perfect Soldier. Even after a few minutes, strangely enough, he hasn’t let go or pushed me away. What the hell is going on?
Heero’s arms suddenly tighten around me in an embrace and I gasp, taken completely by surprise. I guess he must have heard me, and he instantly he lets me go. “Gomen,” I hear him say softly.
I sit up and look at him in surprise. “Heero...” I begin very slowly, grabbing for my braid and nervously toying with it. “Why...Why did you do that?”
He stares at me for a few long moments without saying a word. He doesn’t know what to say. Heero’s supposed to know everything, but I can tell from the look on his face that he’s utterly speechless. I expect to hear something like “it was a mistake, forget about it,” but those words never come. The silence is unnerving, neither of us has said a word in what seems like an eternity. I finally bring myself to look into his eyes, and for the first time, I see emotion in those dark blue orbs. There’s a light in them that’s never been there before.
“I did it because...you were scared,” Heero says quietly.
“Oh.” I look away from him. That wasn’t exactly the answer I was hoping for, but at least I finally got a response. What kind of answer could I seriously be expecting? “Duo, I feel the same way about you as you do about me. I love you.” Ha ha. Yeah right. Very funny Duo.
Suddenly, I feel a hand tightly grab hold of my arm and I instinctively gasp and try to pull away. My heart suddenly starts pounding in my throat as I look back at Heero. That look on his face...It still hasn’t changed...What is it? I open my mouth to say something--what exactly, I don’t know--but I’m abruptly stalled when...he kisses me.
I gasp sharply, feeling the warm lips against mine. God, I’ve dreamt about this happening so many times. Something like this could never really happen. Not to me. Funny how it feels so real now. I must be dreaming...Heero would never do something like this...But...it feels so real...No, I know I’m dreaming...This would never happen...But I never feel like this in my dreams. It feels too real, too incredible to be just a figment of my imagination. I still can barely grasp it, but this is no dream. Heero is really kissing me.
Without thinking, I kiss back. I’m probably signing my own death warrant by doing this, but I don’t care. I can’t even explain how it’s making me feel. I’ve never experienced anything like this before. I never want it to stop. If Heero is gonna kill me, at least I’ll die happy. That’s a good thing...Right?
After what seems like an eternity, Heero pulls back and leans his forehead against mine. “Duo,” He begins very slowly and unsurely. “I...”
“Nani...” That’s all I can manage to choke out. My voice doesn’t seem to be working too well. That’s a first. I can only imagine how Heero feels right now.
He’s hesitating. I can tell. For the first time in his life, he doesn’t know what to do and it’s really, really getting to him. “Duo,” He starts over after gathering his thoughts for a few moments. A low rumble of thunder sounds outside as another storm starts to roll in. “You don’t have to be afraid of storms anymore.”
“Huh? How come?”
“Because,” He sits up straight and looks at me with a hint of a smile on his face. “I’ll be here to protect you from them.”
Is he saying what I think he’s saying? This is just too good to be true. Heero Yuy couldn’t feel this way about me! It doesn’t make any sense! I don’t deserve him. Someone beautiful and wealthy and...and everything I’m not should be with him. Not me! He must be making some kind of mistake. My mind keeps repeating this as Heero moves in closer to me again.
And before I realize, our lips are touching again. This time I pull back and shake my head. He can’t possibly really want this. Why would he want me? “Heero...” I start to say.
“Duo,” He interrupts and looks me straight in the eyes. “Duo, ai shiteru.”
Did I just hear that? My jaw goes right through the floor as those words leave Heero’s mouth. How? How could he love me when he has Relena following him everywhere he goes? She’s pretty and smart and she deserves Heero more than I do. Then again, no one has ever said this to me before. I’m not quite sure what to do. If I mess up, he’ll just say the whole thing’s a mistake.
But we’ve gone much too far now. If he changes his mind, I don’t know if I’ll be able to go on living. I look at Heero seriously and say the first and only thing that comes to mind.
“What did you say?”
“I said...I love you,” He repeats softly as he runs a hand along the side of my face and down my braid.
“He-Heero...” I struggle to get the words out. This is really happening! Heero really loves me! He told me! It’s real! Thank you God, it’s real! For the first time in my life, someone’s told me they love me! My mind is still swirling as I look up at him and smile. “I love you too,” I whisper as we kiss again.
As we fall into a long passionate embrace, the front of the next storm starts to roll in. Thunder is rumbling loudly outside but I don’t care. I can barely hear it. I guess it’s not so scary anymore. Just to tease I pull Heero down to the bed with me and pull the blanket over both our heads. He breaks off our kiss and looks at me strangely.
“What are you doing?”
“I’m scared,” I reply, suppressing a laugh.
“I told you before,” Heero says as he kisses my forehead. “You don’t have to be afraid anymore. You have me to protect you.”
“That’s good to know,” I smile and snuggle closer to Heero. The thunder outside is nothing but a distant rumble to me now. Heero’s right. I don’t have to be afraid anymore. I don’t have to be afraid of anything...
Thanks to Heero...
My calm within a storm...
