Fragile as Glass
The Fall
AC 188
Noin didn't quite know what to
do with her free time. She was unused to such freedom, after all the months of
strict training. She wandered about the base aimlessly for a time, then stopped
and sought a quiet place to be alone, after hearing more "Look, there's
that girl who got into the advanced classes." than she could bear. There
was a small field where the cadets sometimes trained nearby. It would be empty
now.
There were a number of huge,
gnarled oak trees on the edges of the field. She touched the rough bark of one
of them, recalling that she had never seen one before leaving the city that she
grew up in and had never left before. Tipping her head back, she could no longer
see the sturdy branches after about nine feet up; the late spring leaves
obscured them. Perfect.
She looked around
surreptitiously, wishing she had thought to change into her plainer uniform. No
one was anywhere nearby. Far-off she could hear the sounds of the Oz technicians
working on the latest mobile suits. Noin felt a little silly, but took off her
jacket and wrapped it around her waist. She took one more look around. No one.
She jumped up and grasped one of the lower-hanging branches.
Her natural agility made
climbing the tree a lot easier. It was quite fun, actually. She grinned and
thought what fun she could have had back home if there were trees like this one.
High up she found that the main trunk and a branch from it made a sort of
natural seat. Noin settled there with a sigh.
It was the perfect hideaway. No
one could see her, and she was confident she'd be able to hear anyone
approaching. Noin turned her thoughts to other things. Instructor Velorn had
'promoted' her, so to speak, to the advanced classes. The cadets were slightly
older and a lot nicer than the ones she used to train with. They were suspicious
at first, but now they more or less treated her as an equal. Zechs also, she
recalled. They no longer had Instructor Velorn to teach them; their new
instructor was the son of His Excellency, Treize Khushrenada.
He was a fair instructor, she
thought, and a good one. Some people resented his position as an instructor to
the advanced cadets; they thought he got it just because of his connections
within Oz and the Romefellar Foundation. Their muttered accusations probably
weren't totally unfounded; after all, how could the son of His Excellency not
have a high-ranking position, especially if he was also related to the late
General Catalonia and Duke Dermail?
But then again, Treize had
excellent combat abilities, and knew how to bring the best out of his cadets.
She knew he deserved his position more than a few other instructors she could
name. His cadets worshipped him, particularly the only other female cadet in his
class, Une. Noin frowned as she thought of Une. Yes, she was an excellent pilot
and was also a very adept strategist, but Noin didn't like her attitude. It was
so unpredictable. One time she recalled Une picking wildflowers and making
wreaths for her hair. She'd offered one to Noin, smiling as gently and serenely
as Mary, mother of Jesus. However, she was usually very cold, curt, and
generally vicious to everyone but Instructor Treize. It was obvious that she was
in love with him. Noin wrinkled her nose in disgust. Treize made no effort to
stop her but didn't seem to return her affection either.
Une never forgave Zechs and Noin
for taking the top position in their class away from her, either. Her icy glare
became positively glacial whenever she glanced at either of them, even angrier
that it had no effect on them.
They were going to outer space
soon. Instructor Treize announced his intentions that they would all accompany
him to Colony X1899 for additional training, to gain more experience in real
battle. All of them were excited at the prospect, but none more than Noin. She
would finally be going to outer space, where she could see the Earth from afar
and touch the stars...and as a real soldier she could help bring peace to the
world and the colonies...
She was jerked out of her
pleasant wonderings by a loud crunching noise below. There were footsteps
approaching! She tensed and looked down. Damn. Can't see anything through the
leaves. Well, if I can't see them, they can't see me. I'll just sit tight until
they go. Reassured by this thought, Noin settled down again and tried to
relax. The footsteps stopped very close by, possibly under the same tree she was
in. She heard something that sounded like growl of frustration.
"I can't do this!" a
male voice exclaimed, helplessness and anger lacing his words like some subtle
poison. Noin recognized the voice at once. It was Zechs Merquise.
His plans were going far better
than he dared hope for. He was top of the advanced classes already, and soon...
he'd graduate in the coming year and become a pilot. The voice was quiet these
days. Zechs didn't listen to it, and it contented itself with smoldering in a
corner, ready to flare up at the least chance. Free the Cinq Kingdom, not to
rule it, just to free it. Crush the Alliance, kill the man in charge of in the
invasion of the Cinq Kingdom. Those were his objectives, what he lived for now.
He repeated them silently to himself in an endless refrain.
The price of success on these
accounts though, was high. The loneliness, the private suffering and pushing
beyond his limitations were sometimes more than he could bear. And he dared not
indulge himself in thinking of the past too often. The tranquil peacefulness of
the Cinq Kingdom before it collapsed...his baby sister and father's
voice…these things were slowly leaking from his memory, and he did nothing to
stop them, on fear of actually weakening the point of not being able to fight.
Because fighting for them, even
if he could not remember them, was all he could do now.
Treize, though he knew his
secret, could not help him. Even if he was not busy enough for two people, he
could not. No one could. Who else could relate to such bitter pain? Zechs was
grateful for his friend's help; otherwise he wouldn't have been able to escape
the Cinq Kingdom in time, those many years ago, or get to the Lake Victoria
Academy. And now the debt must be repaid. He would become a soldier of Oz, and
fight for Treize, who would rule it someday.
Today Treize had to attend an
emergency meeting of the Romefellar Foundation, and his cadets were allowed a
rare day of freedom; probably their last before going to Colony X18999. Zechs
paced about in his room, knowing the voice would be able to speak again if he
was alone with his thoughts for too long... It's been a while, hasn't it,
Zechs? The faint hiss echoed in his mind. You've been busy, haven't you?
Training and all that. Now you're headed for outer space, for 'real battle
experience'. So far you've only done what your father would have been ashamed
of: learning how to kill people. Now you're about to do what your father would
have disowned you for: actually killing people. Do you have any idea what you're
getting into? I don't think you do. Because if you did you would have abandoned
your silly hopes with this scheme a long, long time ago. Once your hands are
stained with blood you will never be able to wash it off, don't you understand?
To take another man's life...that is the height of disregard to your father's
beliefs.
Zechs stopped pacing as a cold
sweat broke out on his forehead. It was right...it was always right... he
couldn't do it, he couldn't go through with it...
He bolted out of his room and
kept running. Cadets and Oz Specials soldiers stared as he passed. Down the
stairs and outside...still he ran. He was now in the small field where they
sometimes trained for terrestrial battle. On the edges of the field were some
trees. He slowed to a walk and tried without success to gather his senses.
"I can't do this!" the
words burst out from deep inside, and it was somewhat relieving to be able to
say that aloud. To admit his weakness. I may have disappointed my father in
training to kill but I will not go further; I won't murder another man. I can't
do it, he thought calmly, and a strange feeling suddenly took over his senses.
It was familiar too, like a faint whiff of a perfume you know you've smelled
before.
Peace. That's what it was. He
knew what he had to do now.
Zechs pulled the small pistol
out of his pocket and glanced at it. Yes, it was fully loaded. Treize had given
all his cadets the rare privilege of carrying firearms about a month ago, and
most of them proudly carried their pistols with them all the time. Zechs usually
didn't but for some reason he'd grabbed it out of a drawer before leaving his
room, fingers brushing against another cold, hard object he knew to be his Medal
of Excellence.
He smiled as the safety clicked
off.
"It'll all be over
soon." He whispered.
"I can't do this!"
when Noin head him say that she knew this was a very private moment, and
intentional or not, she was eavesdropping on him. She squirmed uncomfortably
when she registered the helpless despair his voice, and remembered the wild look
in his eyes when the East Wing dormitory was bombed. I should get down from
here, she thought. Better to embarrass him now than listen to more of his
personal thoughts. Maybe I can even help him. She purposefully started climbing
down, being as noisy as she needed to be. Still, she hadn't heard him walk away.
He must still be there.
Her eyes widened as her boot
slipped off the branch she was standing on. Too late she reached out to catch
hold of the branch, and she was clawing empty air.
He held the pistol firmly. It
was going to stop here and now. The sleepless nights, the constant fight to keep
at the top of the class, the free time spent alone with his bitter thoughts and
ambitions. No longer would he have to watch others enjoying the gift of life,
and the curse of his would end. No more would he remember what was gone forever
and could not be brought back. He would never have to take another man's life to
prove how good a soldier he was because he'd be dead.
Briefly he wondered when they'd
notice his absence and come looking for him. Well, they won't have far to look.
His eyes closed as he put the
pistol into head range, and fired.
