Interview with a Clow Card

By Ukyou

Disclaimer: I do not own CCS. It is powned by Kodanyasha and CLAMP. All hail the kings.

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Ukyou, our interviewer, sits on a chair with a “girl” wearing a kimono with fishcake designs all over it. The “girl” is wearing a fake moustache.

Ukyou: Hello. I am Ukyou, and I am now in a room with a…can you say it for me again?

Clow Card: I’m a Clow Card

Ukyou: Now, can you tell me, just what is your story?

CC: Well, I was imprisoned in a book after I was created by Clow Reed ::sniff, sniff:

U: What’s wrong?

CC: Oh…:snif:: I enjoy being free, and I don’t want…to go back….

U: Go back to where?

CC: That horrible place! That…BOOK! ::Cries even more::

U: Here, have my hanky.

CC: ::SNIFFFLE:: Thanks, thanks so much <Gives back the hanky>

U: <Nods head> No, you can keep it.

CC: Well, like I said, I enjoy being free, and now that I’m out of that book, I want to raise a family and move to Bermuda.

U: May I ask why you are wearing a fake mustache?

CC: Its these two horrible little children and this flying teddy bear that are trying to ruin my life…

U: <Skims his CCS handbook> It says here on page 2 that all of you “Clow Cards” have unique special powers. What, may I ask, is yours?

CC: <Looks to the left and right> I worry a lot.

U: So, you would be the “worry card”?

CC: Maybe not, but when I am imprisoned in a small cardboard card, you’ll see what I am.

U: …in the meantime, you don’t seem to want to go into this “Card”?

CC: No, like I said, I want to have a family and move to Bermuda.

U: Well, just on the topic of the fake mustache card, I don’t think that the mustache will cover up your “feminine” face. I mean, you are a girl.

CC: I’m saving up my money for a family and Bermuda. Not my disguise.

U: Now, on page 24, it says that if all the Clow Cards escape, then something really bad will happen to the world.

CC: Oh really <hehheh> umm, I <sweatdrop> didn’t know that <ha,ha who’s ever heard of such a thing…>

U: Okay…

<Then, both Ukyou and the Clow card notice that a small red “laser” beam has just pointed to the Clow Card.>

CC: OH MY GOD! OH MY <bleep>in GOD! THEY FOUND ME!

U: Now, don’t you worry. Our highly trained security guards outside the door have you covered.

CC: I just hope so…<twitches fingers> I really want to have a family and move to….

U: I think we know.

CC: Oh.

CC: THEY KNOW I’M HERE! THEY’VE FOUND ME!

Two children, one boy and one girl, bust open the door.

Sakura: There it is! Good thing you had your Lazenboard, Li.

Kero: I don’t seem to know what card this is…

CC: Please! No! Don’t take me back! I have a family and Bermuda!

Li: <Shuts ears> Don’t listen to it! Its trying to make you feel sorry for it

Tomoyo: If you ask me, I think this card is just plain pathetic…

Sakura, Li, Kero, and Tomoyo all make their “Oh, I’m going through so much pain” poses.

The Clow Card starts running around the room, sobbing.

Sakura: Now Clow card! Return to your power CONFINED!

Clow card: Noooooooooooooooooooooooo…..!

The poor innocent Clow card dissipatres into a “small cardboard card” as she puts it. The bottom of the card reads “The Hopeless”.

Kero: Wow! You’re becoming a better Cardcaptor!

Li: That really wasn’t so much of a challenge….

Ukyou: O…kay, now , umm, I guess that’s all… um…Goodbye!