Disclaimer: The characters of Ranma ½ belong to Rumiko Takakashi. The characters of Sailor Moon belong to Naoko Takeuchi. If they belonged to me, I wouldn't be writing this I'd be swimming in my pool of cash. I wouldn't bother suing me either. I got nothing you want. MeSsEd Up! Or Mechakucha! A Ranma ½ / Sailor Moon Crossover! By Hawk C&C welcome, as well as flames at Note: I'm hoping I can really mess this story up. Not in a bad way mind you, but in a way that makes it way different from the original. ^_^. You'll understand what I'm talking about when you read it. This takes place after Ranma's battle with Saffron. There is some swearing in it, not a lot and it's somewhat limish. Hope you enjoy! ^_^ I'd like to thank Joy Lyn for reading through this and finding a bunch of stupid mistakes without even being asked to. It was very kind of her. Thanks Joy! P.S. note: Read the fight scenes slowly. I tend read things fast which makes reading fight scenes hard to understand. I suggest reading the fight scene's slowly, that way you'll get it all. Chapter 3 - Part 1- The New Ranma Ranko watched in fascination as Ranma casually walked up the two gangs. She didn't know what to think. Ranma, the school nerd, appeared completely different, looking much better than he did before. He was wearing different and better looking clothes which she'd never seen him wear before, his hair wasn't gelled down, but instead mushed and a little messy looking. His grey-blue eyes seemed to twinkle with amusement which was quite clearly shown by the smile plastered on his face. There was also the way he carried himself, completely graceful with every step, but looked like he was doing it subconsciously rather than trying to walk that way. *Damn! He's walking as gracefully as I do!* Ranko thought a bit jealous at how easy he made it look. "So what's everyone standin' around for?" Ranma asked scanning the crowd. "So the cur Saotome dares show his horrid face!" Kuno said as he drew his bokken. "I hope you didn't enjoy those days off Saotome, because the days to come are gonna be much worse," Akane said cracking her knuckles. Glancing at Ranma, Ranko eyes grew to the size of dinner saucers. He was standing there, hands in his pockets, smiling as if nothing was wrong. Did he not realize he was about to get the shit kicked out of him? Hard! "Actually I didn't. I was in a lot of pain for most of the trip," Ranma replied smiling brightly, bouncing on the balls of his feet. *Maybe he did go insane.* Ranko thought worriedly as she noticed Akane and Kuno getting angrier. "Well it doesn't matter! You're a dead man, Saotome!" Akane shouted before she dropped into a low combat stance. Ranko watched as everyone else in her gang got into their own fighting styles. Some crouching low, and some standing tall. Then there was the fat one, which Ranko considered was using the wide stance if you catch my drift. Ranko turned her attention to Ranma and was surprised again when he asked, "So you wanna fight me huh?" Then she was surprised again. She looked on in wonder as Ranma stretched his arms behind him and allowed his coat slide off gracefully, landing beside his right foot. She and everyone gasped in surprise. It was just a day full of them. One could see the difference immediately. Ranma's arms were larger, more muscular, while the black sleeveless undershirt he wore stuck to his broader chest like a second skin. The way his bangs puffed over his face, clashing with his grey-blue eyes made his cute face look even better. And the way he stood, so confident and powerful. He was the perfect definition of the work "hunk"! Of course, that was every other girls' opinion of him at that time. Then he dropped into a low combat stance and in Ranko's eyes, he became even better looking. "So? Who gets to go first?" Ranma's voice broke her subconscious line of thinking causing her to blink then take in Ranma's stance. It was really familiar looking, almost the same kind she would use in a situation like that. Someone charged. It was one of Kuno's 'Virtuous Kendo Men' and he ran straight at Ranma, holding his bokken back as if to swing. Ranko saw Ranma's foot shift under his coat and before she knew it, she was yelling, "Watch out!" Everyone, of course, thought she was yelling at Ranma, but she was in fact yelling to the attacking Kendoist. Ranma moved. ********* Ranma smiled even wider as he saw the Kendoist charge. Shifting his right foot a bit, he lashed out with his right leg sending his coat into the Kendoists face. Side stepping three times, Ranma kicked his would be attacker hard in the chest, sending him flying back five feet and to the ground. Curling up into a ball, the member of Kuno's gang began crying and gasping uncontrollably. The crowds' mouths opened even further. How the hell did he do that? How the hell was he keeping his leg up in the air like that? What the hell was going on?! "What sorcery is this!?" Kuno shouted angrily pointing his bokken at his fallen member. Ranma, leg still in the air, explained cooly, "I kicked him in the center of his chest causing all of his ribs to vibrate rapidly. Right now I'd say he feels as if his chest's on fire and he can't breathe. Though he can." Slowly, almost as if in slow motion, he brought down his leg down. "That tears it, Saotome! You may be stronger, but that doesn't mean you have any skill!" Akane shouted before charging Ranma, right fist drawn back. Once she was close enough, Akane swung her fist at Ranma's head expecting it to connect. Ranma's hand blurred, catching Akane right fist with his left. He smiled rather cruelly when he saw Akane's eyes widen, nearly bursting into laughter. His right hand blurred catching her left before it could connect with his head. This time he did laugh, he laughed right in her face at her shocked and somewhat fearful look. Ranma narrowed his eyes. He "remembered" the Akane he... cared about on some level even if she was a violent flat-chested uncute tomboy. He also "remembered" this Akane somehow. She had gone beyond violence to be his tormentor for many years. And it was *this* Akane he needed to stop. Being gentle with a bully never worked out so he was going to do something Akane had suggested earlier. He was gonna just plain kick her ass. Looking at Akane's face, Ranma shouted out loud, "Usually I don't hit women cause I think it's just wrong!" then he whispered quite evilly, "But in your case, I think I can make an exception." Slowly he closed his fists around hers, listening to them pop from the pressure. "You're way off balance," Ranma whispered before tugging her body to his right side and kneeing her in the gut. Removing his knee from her stomach, he raised his arms above his head and brought both of his elbows down onto her shoulders, knocking her to the ground. Ranma hopped away from the downed girl (bitch in his eyes) and started laughing happily then dropped into a different stance. Most of the crowd started cheering and clapping. All the 'Virtuous Kendo Men' except Kuno began clapping as well. Those in the 'Red Hammers' gaped in surprise and shock at the sight of their fallen leader. "Ho! Ho! Ho! The vile bitch Tendo Akane receives what she righteously deserves. To be beaten by the hands of the pathetic Saotome Ranma," Kuno gloated at Akane's downed figure. Rising to her knees, gasping for air and clutching her stomach, Akane gave Kuno a withering glare. "I don't see you doing anything asshole!" "The dog Saotome would be no match for me in combat," Kuno answered sharply, glaring in Ranma's direction. "I hear a lot of _ramble_ Kuno, but I don't see a lot of action! For all I know, you could suck worse than Akane!" Ranma shot back, eager to give Kuno a butt kickin'. "Fiend! You dare speak such words of my superiority! Die!" Kuno shouted before charging, bokken raised above his head. Smirking arrogantly, Ranma sidestepped Kuno's attack, ducked under another then right hooked him in the gut sending him sprawling back and gasping for air. Running up to the kneeling fighter, he sent his knee into Kuno's face sending the Kendoist onto his back, grasping his nose. 'Ohhhhs' and winces passed through the crowd as, for the first time ever, they felt sympathetic for Kuno. That had to hurt! Others continued to stare, mouth and eyes wide in shock while some whispered amongst themselves. Both the 'Red Hammers' and 'Virtuous Kendo Men' gave Ranma looks promising death. "You guys gonna attack or what?" Ranma asked, amusement shown in his voice and smile. "Oh wait! Now I understand! You guys are the background players. You just sit around while Kuno and Akane do everything else, right?" he added pointing a finger back and forth between both groups. "What are we waiting for?" one of the Kendoists shouted catching everyone's attention, then added, "We can take him! There are way more of us than him!" "Famous last words," Ranma muttered, an amused grin riding his face. The gangs charged, surrounding him in the process. Ranma ducked under a bokken then dodged a kick to stomach. After weaving around multiple bokken swings and punches, he rapidly punched everyone around him in the face numerous times sending them reeling back, grasping faces. Ducking under a bokken from behind, he kicked out behind him, catching the attacker in the stomach. Jumping up, he scissor kicked a girl in the face, knocking her down then landed softly. Ranma crouched under a punch, side stepped a bokken and a kick then jumped up and shouted, "Baisuu Supin Handou!" Everyone around him was hit in the face with a non ki filled foot smacking them down and into unconsciousness. Standing from his crouching position. Ranma looked around the school yard and asked incredulously, "Is that the best you got?" The crowd watched in awed silence. Jumping to the left, virtually gliding over the grass, he then launched himself into a flying kick, with his right foot just brushing the side of a Kendoists face. He followed up with his left foot from behind in a roundhouse, slamming the ball of his foot into the boy's side. Then, spinning like a top, he delivered backhand after backhand to his face, each strike making the boy shake and sway, and culminated with a punch from his right fist sending the boy flying some 10 meters away. A sidekick later and another Kendoist went to join the first. He leapt high into the air and landed a kick on another, then using the other boy as a springboard, he bounced off and kneed a girl in the head. If you had blinked you would have missed most of it. Leaping up, Ranma back flipped onto a Kendoists back and back flipped again sending the boy face first into the ground. Landing softly, with barely a sound, Ranma swept an attacker's legs out from under him before rolling to the side. Stopping in a crouch, Ranma did the splits and punched a Kendoist sending him to his knees grasping at his groin. Rolling backwards, Ranma slowly stood back up to his full height, arms relaxed by his sides. Three-quaters of the crowd fainted. Standing up, Ranma proceeded to stretch his body as if he'd just woken from a night of sleep. Turning around, he faced his next opponent, a girl with nunchaku. He gestured to her with his hand. "Nunchaku. Lets see what ya got." The girl went into action, swinging her numb-chucks over her shoulders, behind her waist, around her head with great speed. After an impressive three minute display of skill, the girl stopped with each nunchaku handle placed under her armpit. She leveled her gaze at Ranma, smirking cruelly. "You beat the crap outta yourself didn't you?" Ranma asked incredulously, raising an eyebrow at the girl. In response, the girls eyes rolled upwards into her head before falling over, bruises and lumps forming on her head, face and neck. Ranma dropped to one knee. He punched with his right arm across his body, to his left side, hitting a girl in the gut. At the same time, he crossed his left arm over his right shoulder, grabbing an incoming punch. Pulling the fighter to him with his left hand, Ranma brought back his right arm, elbowing the girl on his right side in the gut as well. Lashing out his right leg, he spun around in a 360 degree circle tripping both girls. "Gee, so far your gangs are giving me a better workout than you are," Ranma taunted the gang leaders. Sidestepping a charging punch from Akane, he brought his elbow down onto the spine of her back. "That's for nearly drowning me the first day." Crouching under a bokken swing, he casually elbowed Kuno in the kidney. "That's for smacking me in the ass with your bokken." Jumping up, he turned 180 degrees in the air and kicked Kuno in the forehead before landing easily. The remaining 1/4 of the crowd fell to the ground, still staring in shock as the incredibly events played out before them. Oh yeah, all the remaining conscious girls were drooling too. Well, except for Ranko. She was watching Ranma more with interest than desire. Ok, there was _some_ desire in her eyes too. Abruptly, Ranma's arm shot up by his head, hand curled into a fist, punching a member of Akane's gang in the face. He hadn't even blinked or made any other kind of motion signaling that he knew the member was there in the first place. Kicking straight out behind him, Ranma caved in the gang member's gut with his foot. He bent backwards, avoiding Akane's round house kick then flipped backwards catching her in the chin with both feet. Landing, he immediately flipped sideways, twisted in mid air and then landed with shins on Kuno's shoulders. Not giving Kuno time to react, Ranma began punching the top of his head at an amazing speed. The crowd winced. Raising his hands above his head, Kuno was about to swat at Ranma when the extra weight on his shoulders vanished. Then he was hit in the gut. Really _hard_. Looking down he saw Ranma crouching in front of him, fist extended before falling to his knee, clutching his stomach and gasping for air. The crowds mouths opened even further. "That was for all the times you accused me of flirting with Ranko and all the times you beat me up to "prove" yourself to her," Ranma said glaring at the downed Kendoist, arms crossed across his chest. Spinning around, Ranma caught Akane's incoming wrist, and twisted it watching as her facial expression went from shock to absolute pain. He had twisted her arm a lot farther than it was meant to. "This is for locking me in my locker," Ranma growled before his fist connected with her jaw. Releasing her wrist, he watched as she flew back and landed unceremoniously on the ground. Half of the remaining 1/4 crowd began convulsing on the ground as if having a seizure. Ranma took deep, drawn out breaths as he looked at Akane's fallen form. He'd hit her. He'd actually done it. The one thing he never thought he'd do, he'd done. *I hit her. I never in my life thought I'd actually hit her.* Then he remembered all the things he'd done to him and shrugged his shoulders. *Oh well!* "Die demon!" Kuno shouted charging Ranma from behind. Crouching down under Kuno's decapitating attack, Ranma slid backwards into Kuno's legs flipping him over his back. Walking up to the dazed Kendoist, he grabbed him by the scruff of his garb, lifted him slightly off the ground before bring his right fist back. "This is for making me your damn practice dummy!" he shouted then slammed his fist into Kuno's face as hard as he could. Lowering Kuno's form slightly, he abruptly brought it back up, smacking Kuno's face with his forehead. The remaining crowd winced again. Lifting the Kendoist back up to his feet and holding his shirt so he wouldn't fall over, Ranma growled, "And this . . . is for shoving a bokken up my ass." Forcing a little ki into his foot, he let go of Kuno's shirt, jumped up and shouted once again, "Baisuu Supin Handou!" His foot connected with Kuno's nose three times before Kuno actually flew back from the first blow. Basically, in under one second, Ranma hit Kuno in the nose with a ki kick three times. Pretty fast, ne? The crowd bit their tongues, shuddering at the sight of Kuno bruised and bloody face. Most of the crowd was sure that his nose wasn't bent the way it was at the beginning of the fight. Landing lightly on one leg, Ranma spun around and began walking to Akane. Kneeling down next to her, he grabbed her hair with both his hands, as if gripping a baseball bat, he whispered, "This . . . is for making me eat mud," then proceeded to rip the hair in half which was soon followed by a blood curdling scream. Akane had awoken. ********* Ranko, Rei and Makoto watched in silenced awe as Ranma continued to kick the crap out of Akane and Kuno. Usagi couldn't handle the fact that Ranma had preformed the splits and joined most of the crowd in la la land. They watched as Ranma blurred then disappeared off Kuno's shoulders then reappeared in front of him, fist extended. It was as if he'd blinked out and in of existence. Even Ranko had problems seeing him move, though she'd never admit it. *How is he doing this?! There's no way he could become such a good fighter in such a short time! He was still a puny dweeb on Saturday! He must have made a deal with the Dark Kingdom!* "That was for all the times you accused me of flirting with Ranko and all the times you beat me up to "prove" yourself to her," Ranma said after stepping away from the downed Kuno. In what seemed like only a matter of seconds, Ranma spun around, caught Akane's wrist, twisted it, growled, "This is for locking me in my locker," then socked her like there was no tomorrow. She must've flown back four feet before landing in a crumpled heap. *Wow! He looks just like my old sempai! Er . . . except I don't think my old sempai ever did _that_. Argh! Dammit! It'd be so much easier if I could remember his name!* With that thought Makoto fell to the ground, curled up into a ball and started laughing maniacally. Ranko and Rei glanced at Makoto and sweatdropped nervously. "What do ya think is wrong with Makoto?" Ranko asked worriedly. Rei glanced at Makoto closely. "By the way her eye's twitching, I'd say it has something to do with her old sempai," she responded with a casual shrug. "What do you think, Ami?" Ranko asked the blue-hair girl to her right. "Hm. . .? I'm sorry. I was looking through my history notes. What did you say?" Ranko and Rei sweatdropped before face-faulting sideways. "Um . . . never mind," Ranko mumbled eyeing Ami oddly for a minute before turning back to the fight. "Ok," Aim responded before returning her gaze to her notes, completely ignoring her surroundings. Rei continued to sweatdrop as she glanced back and forth in-between Ami, the fight, and Makoto. *Are Ranko and I the only normal Senshi?* She thought then looked at Ranko. *Am I the only normal Senshi!?* *That style? It's really close to the kind I use, but a little less defined (Note: What Ranko means is that, Ranma's using a little bit of the Anything Goes style and a lot of just plain street fighting). Where'd he learn it though, and how'd he get so strong and fast so . . . fast! And his muscles,* she sighed wistfully, *so much larger, but not too large! They look so comfortable. I wish he'd-* her line of thought was cut off by Ranma's voice. "Baisuu Supin Handou!" Ranma shouted immediately before his body blurred into the form of what looked like a miniature tornado. Ranko watched in amazement as Kuno flew back, face covered by red. *Wow! Where'd he learn that?! I wonder if I can learn it. * Ranko thought excitedly. She hardly ever saw any new techniques since she moved to Nerima. Her uncle Soun didn't know any new techniques so she didn't get anything out of him and she really wanted to learn some new techniques. Then she remembered who preformed the move and started blushing. To learn the technique, she'd have to ask Ranma to teach it to her. That would mean they'd have to be together and probably alone. There was no telling what could happen! *Argh! I don't like him! I don't like him! I don't like him! I don't li-* >Rip< The sound caught nearly everyone's attention. And if that didn't, then the terrible scream that followed did. Ranko watched as Akane sat up immediately, feeling her hair frantically. Standing up, Akane turned to Ranma, who was still clutching the large chunk of black/bluish hair in his fist. Her body lit up with a dark red aura as if she'd been sprayed by a group of flamethrowers. Growling fiercely, Akane screamed in rage before charging. *He ripped her hair!!! I didn't think that was possible! That hair was Akane's most prized possession!* Subconsciously she grabbed her pigtail, holding onto it possessively. Rei and Makoto, who'd recovered from her fit, looked at each other before pulling their hair over their shoulders and hugging it tightly to themselves. The sound of Akane's face >Crunch< hitting a nearby tree snapped them back into their senses. Shaking her head, Ranko glanced at Akane before coming to a decision. ********* *Damn, that's a big aura!* Ranma thought as Akane's aura sprang into life, but instead said way too calmly for Akane's tastes, "What? Don't look at me like that. I just thought you'd look better with short hair, that's all." As soon as Akane broke her stance and charged, Ranma cocked his arm back and threw her hair into her face. Dodging three wild punches from the overly angered and temporarily blind martial artist (*cough* bitch *cough*), he grabbed her next punch and forcing his heels into the ground swung Akane around by her arm. "This is for forcing me into the girls locker room in my boxers!" Ranma shouted by letting go of her arm, sending her flying, face first, into a nearby tree. Sliding down the tree slowly, Akane's knees hit the ground then her head as she fell over sideways out cold. The crowd stood there like a bunch of idiots. Of course, they would have been clapping and cheering due to the fact that Akane and Kuno had gotten their asses kicked, but they were to busy standing around like idiots to do that. Clapping the dirt off his hands, Ranma was about to start the final part in his revenge when someone tapped him on the shoulder. Turning around, he received a hard >Pop< punch to the face. It wasn't from Kuno because it was a fist, and not from Akane, but it was defiantly stronger than most punches. Whoever is was, was also pretty good, having managed to sneak up on him. Grasping his nose, Ranma glared at the person who punched him before blinking in confusion. "What didja do that for!?" he shouted. "Come on! Show me what you got!" Ranko shouted, having backed away a few feet and standing in a loose combat stance. "I can't fight you!" Ranma responded, still peeved at being hit in the nose. "Why not?" Ranko asked dropping her stance. "Because you're a girl!" The crowd facefaulted. "What the hell's that supposed to mean!?" Ranko shouted incredulously. "I don't hit girls," Ranma answered flatly. The crowd facefaulted again. "What about what you did to Akane and her gang?" "I was making an exception." "Fine!" Ranko yelled before running straight at Ranma. Preparing to dodge the incoming attack, Ranma forgot that his female form was much faster and much more skilled than any other girl. He fell to his knees when the blow hit. "That . . . was . . . low," he squeaked out, his voice a few octaves higher. He'd been expecting a higher attack. One more towards his other head. "Now that you're one step closer to being a woman, will you fight me?" Ranko asked pleasantly after removing her foot from his crotch. "ONNA!?" Ranma yelled looking at Ranko in shock. "Who are you calling a woman?!" Ranma lunged at Ranko. And then he fell to his knees, bug eyed, grasping at his groin. "Ite! I must have dislocated my pelvis!" Ranko was immediately by his side, kneeling next to him. "Are you all right?" she asked, concerned for his well being. She didn't think she kicked him that hard. Just hard enough so it would hurt not so something would break. Besides, if he'd broken his pelvis, how would that affect his performance in- *Argh! I don't like him! I don't I don't I don't!* "Yeah, I'm all right, though I never knew I was so gullible," Ranma said before sweeping Ranko's legs out from under her. Lets take a moment to look at Ranma's line of thinking shall we? First - Ranma was called a woman, making him not all that happy. Second - He was called a woman by his cursed form which Third - he considered to be a female copy of himself at that time. Not to mention Fourth - Ranma's always hated his female form and beating the snot out of it would probably make him feel really good. "Huh?" was all Ranko managed before she fell on top of Ranma, knocking them both to the ground. ********* Nabiki watched from a window on the second story in morbid fascination as Ranma dodged her sisters and Kuno's attack like they were nothing. How could he be doing this? How'd he get so fast? Where'd he learn how to fight? Too many questions and not many possible answers! How, dammit! How the he- Ranko. Of course! If they were screwing each other, than Ranko would definitely take the time to get Ranma into shape. It made perfect sense. The secret rendezvous on Saturday was probably to teach Ranma the basics in fighting. That little camping trip must have been to get him into shape, also probably Ranko's idea too. How could she betray her _family_ like that! How good a fuck was Ranma anyway? Nabiki's eyes narrowed. He must have been pretty damn good to turn Ranko against her own family. He better have been good. Turning her attention back to the so called fight, it was more like a round of beatings, Nabiki shook her head in disgust. Her sister and Kuno had lost. They'd lost to the school nerd! What could be worse?! *I suppose losing to Umino would actually.* Nabiki winced as Akane face collided with a tree. That _had_ to hurt! Well, that was it. Both gangs were down. What else could be done to make this day any more perfect? *Maybe Ranko will declare her undying love for Ranma.* Nabiki thought numbly. >Pop< *Or maybe not.* Nabiki thought amused as she watched Ranma clutch his nose. Maybe she was wrong about Ranko. Maybe nothing happened between the two. Maybe she'd misunderstood Ranko's blushing denial. Maybe all these maybe's were giving here a headache. Then she watched the fight. And her opinion changed once again Why didn't they just fuck in front of the whole school for Christ sake! She was gonna have a long talk with that girl when they got home. End Part 1 Next Time: Part 2 - An Interesting Deal Authors Note: Decided to split Chapter 3 in half. Working on Part 2 right now. about half way done I think. Working on it in parts, so it's not really all together. I've got some parts of one scene done, the end of another and the beginning of another. Wanna thank all the pple who emailed me. You're the one's making me continue this. ^_^ Also posted a new fic at Tannim's called "Lost Gods" which will hopefully confuse you. This fic is posted at the following places! http://www.geocities.com/Area51/Quasar/6189/ http://www.geocities.com/animecrossovers/ http://home.earthlink.net/~tannim/ http://www.crosswinds.net/~ladycosmos/ Japanese words: Mechakucha - Messed Up Onna - Woman