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Macross 1/2
By Tailkinker
tailkinker@home.com
Author's Opening Statement and Disclaimer
Okay, I know that the first thing you folks are gonna ask is, why did I do it? Why write a Ranma/Robotech crossover?
Well, the real reason is that I had an image in my mind of a Valkyrie throwing a chi fireball...At first, I considered a Ranma/Macross crossover, but Robotech allowed for a bigger scope of creativity, thanks to the existence of Protoculture. Also, I have a lot more reference material for Robotech than I do for Macross. (Hey--the western world in general has a lot more reference material for Robotech than for Macross, since everything that holds for Macross also holds for Robotech...) And let's face it...Robotech has a great story that's really worth following. (Okay, THAT's gonna get me flamed...) But no matter how you slice it, a fair amount of Macross crept into this during the writing - particularly Mecha names, names of organizations, et cetera.
Originally, I was going to have Ranma et al avoiding interference with the primary Robotech plot; the idea was to see how they reacted when placed into the Robotech world. Unfortunately, Ranma is a weirdness magnet, and despite my best efforts, things got out of hand...But hey, my brain and hands are merely the medium by which the story expresses itself.
This story starts three years after Jushenkyo (Except for the prologue, which starts just after Ranma and Genma return from China, but before they go to the Tendo Dojo). So if the characters seem a bit out of character, remember that an extra three years of growing up during your teens will make one hell of a difference in personality. The basic core of personality is still there, but most of them have a lot more patience.
And now to deal with the thugs.
Continuity thugs: This story assumes that Ranma was born in 1995, and that Genma spent four years in the military - probably from 1997 to 2001.
Spelling and Grammar thugs: I'm Canadian, eh? Spelling in here IS correct, at least for the English side. As for grammar, any mangling is purely intentional.
Rabid Macross Purist Anti-Macek thugs: This story is NOT for you.
Legal thugs: All characters from Ranma 1/2 are owned by Rumiko Takahashi and all the people she's sold/licensed them to - I can think of Shogakukan, Kitty and Viz, but there are probably more. Robotech and all elements of such are owned by Carl Macek and/or Harmony Gold (I think). Book titles robbed from Jack McKinney's Robotech novel series, published by Pocket Books, but as far as I know, the titles were all taken from names of individual Robotech episodes anyway. I'm not sure who owns Macross, I think the company's called Big West, but it sure ain't me. My usage of any of the above is in no way meant to be a challenge to their copyrights. Any of the above parties have far more money than me and, just for fun, could crush me like a bug for imitating them. Please don't--I'm not worth it!
Dialogue conventions:
"" denotes conversations in Japanese or English. Most U.N. Spacy personnel are fluent in both, and it should be either obvious or irrelevant where each is being spoken.
~~ denotes character thoughts.
-- denotes sound effects. (These'll be fairly obvious anyway...)
** denotes conversations in Zentraedi.
Postscript to the Author's Notes:
I started writing this sucker long, long before I started on This Side Down. In fact, this is probably the second 'fic I ever wrote (the first shall remain nameless, for although it was also the first posted, it was posted under a different pen name and email address. I was so embarrassed by my first fic I changed my nick...:)
When I started writing this beast, I told myself, "I won't post it until it's done." Boy, was that dumb. Since there was no particular impetus to get it done, I kept going over it, tweaking the stuff I had finished...So I decided to start posting it, one chapter per week or two. Otherwise, it's just gonna keep gathering dust on my hard drive...
The original title was horrible, so I ditched it, and used a more stock (read: less imaginative, quite predicable and rather boring, but at least not horrible) title.
But enough of me flapping my gums. On to the story.
PROLOGUE
NERIMA, JAPAN
"Damnit, old man! How dare you decide my future this way?"
The young, red-haired girl jumped up from the cafe table and threw a punch at the older man seated across from her. Her Chinese clothing was overly loose on her, and it was obvious to any observer that she was not wearing a brassiere. The older man, dressed in a white gi, jumped up and dodged the punch. The cafe manager groaned as he considered how much damage was about to be inflicted on his restaurant.
"You've got no right whatsoever to pick my fiancee for me! Damnit, I've already joined the service!"
"Ranma, you idiot! What about your...little secret? You think they'll let you stay in with your curse?"
Ranma threw a kick at the older man, slamming him into the wall. "You think I was gonna tell them? Give me credit for brains at least, oyaji!"
The older man stood, a little unsteadily. "I did not raise you to be a master of the School of Unrestricted Grappling to see you waste your life in the JSDF."
"Who said anything about the Defense Force?" The girl did not let up on her attacks. "I'm joining U.N. Spacy!"
The older man grabbed the girl and smashed her into the wall, pinning her to it with his superior mass.
"Did you say...U.N. Spacy?"
"Yeah...And I've already been accepted and posted!"
"To...Macross Island?"
The girl seemed surprised. "Yeah...how did you know?"
The man released her, and she slid to the floor. He adjusted his glasses and scowled at her. "Ranma, I am still deeply grieved that you went behind my back in this affair. However, I will tell you now that the U.N. Spacy is the only military I would have allowed you to join."
"Oh? Why's that?" The girl stood, rubbing her neck. Already, a bruise was reddening around her throat.
"I cannot say. But if you truly do not wish to uphold your engagement, I shall so inform the Tendo family."
Ranma sighed. "Look, oyaji, I never said that I didn't want to get married, or meet family obligation. But I already have my career planned out, and getting married will only throw it out of whack. Not to mention I haven't seen my so-called 'fiancee' in seven years. When I get married, it'll be on my own time, when I decide to, to whom I decide.
"Sorry, oyaji, but you really should have thought this out beforehand. Just like with Jushenkyo."
"Hey, who's going to pay for this damage?"
Ranma grinned at the cafe manager. "He is!"
With one swing, she knocked her father on his ass and pulled out his wallet. She extracted a hefty sum in yen--far more than the cost of the repairs--and tossed it to the manager.
The black-haired pig-tailed man approached the front gates of the U.N. Spacy base. He was dressed in the standard U.N. Spacy uniform (Male, temperate, long, casual). On the uniform's breast was the insignia of the Robotech Defense Force, opposite the name tag reading SAOTOME. On his lapel was a pair of gold bars.
A guard stepped out of the booth and approached him.
"Orders, sir?"
The young man pulled a sheaf of papers out of his duffle and handed them to the guard.
The guard perused them for a moment, then nodded and handed them back to the captain. "All right, sir. The shuttle departs in about half an hour. Docking Bay Five."
"Thanks, Corporal."
Twenty minutes later, Captain Saotome was strapped into an acceleration couch, awaiting takeoff. He grinned a bit; the old Tunny transport aircraft had nothing like the acceleration he was used to. After a year of intensive training in the UF-14 Falcon Jet, his heavily muscled body was hardened against multiple G's.
He was looking forward to his new assignment. His basic training had been at Macross Base, as had his initial flight instruction. The last year he had spent at Kadena AFB, in OCS, dealing with gaijin and learning to fly the UF-14. He considered the Falcon the last word in air power. Sleek and sexy, the multi-role fighter could engage in the worst furball, bomb an armoured column, conduct a supersonic recon mission, provide forward air control and serve as an ECM vehicle--all on the same warload. In his mind, no vehicle could possibly match, let alone exceed, the Falcon in versatility.
He had little idea how wrong he was shortly to be proven.
The Tunny's engines rose to a roar, and the big transport began to roll down the runway. The Tunny was capable of vertical takeoff and landing, but there was no need for such fuel-wasting maneuvers at a full-scale airbase. Soon the Tunny lifted off and began to climb, slowly banking to the northwest.
Saotome Ranma grinned. He was going back to Macross. And his new assignment was exactly what he'd been hoping for - second in command of the Macross Blue Squadron.
Maybe he'd get a shot at command of the squadron before he was rotated out.
* * * * *
Saotome stepped out of the VC-37 and blinked in the harsh sunlight. Overhead, he felt more than heard a pair of fighter aircraft pass overhead. The sounds of the engines were impossibly deep, shaking the tarmac beneath his feet. He watched the fighters pull off overhead, turning into the sun.
"Admiring the new jets?"
Saotome blinked, and looked at the man before him. Incredibly tall, lean, with blond hair rakishly pulled over one eye. A cocky grin sat naturally on his features. A golden oak leaf glittered on his lapel. ~This guy's a fighter jock,~ mused Saotome.
"They look okay, but they seem a bit slow compared to the Falcon."
"Oh, don't worry about that, Captain. You'll grow to love them." The man's voice was jaunty, and his Japanese only lightly accented.
Saotome already had his orders produced, and handed them to the Major. RDF used English names for the ranks, despite the fact that it was supposed to be a bilingual force. The other man glanced at them, then began paging through his own clipboard.
"Second in Command for Blue, eh? Looks like you'll be flying in Valkyries after all. You qualified for Valkyrie operations yet?"
"No. I assumed that I would be flying Falcons. They didn't tell me anything about Valkyries."
"Well, they probably wouldn't, the Valkyrie is still incredibly classified. I see you have Lieutenant Geroux listed as your flight instructor. Take my advice, file for a new instructor. Geroux is a good pilot, but his English is rotten, and his Japanese non-existent. Makes it hard to learn from him."
"Who do I see to file for a new instructor?"
"Me." The blond man extended his hand, then withdrew it quickly. "Sorry..." He bowed, then said, "Major Roy Fokker, Commander, Air Group, Macross Island. Pleased to meet you."
"Saotome Ranma, Captain. Pleased to meet you." Saotome returned the bow.
"Now then...as to your new instructor...might as well be me." Fokker grinned. "I don't get nearly enough air-time as it is. Trust me, once you get used to the Valkyrie, you'll never go back to the Falcon."
* * * * *
"The first thing we'll cover is the gross motor controls."
"Gross motor controls? Hey, what about the flight manual?"
"Oh, you'll get that, but I've always held that it's better with this particular bird to get hands-on experience first."
"And if I screw up, and flame us out, or do something else stupid?"
"Don't worry, it's actually really hard to crash a Valkyrie by accident. Now then, the gross motor controls. In this configuration, the right hand stick acts as your yoke, and the left hand stick as your throttle. The foot pedals act as a combination rudder control and vectored thrust control."
"Why manual control for vectoring?"
"I'll get to that. You feel the trigger under your right finger? That fires the main gun. GU-11 external gun pod, fifty-five mike, fires about three thousand rounds per minute. A little on the slow side, if you ask me. But of course, they didn't. You've got about a thousand rounds in the gun, plus an additional two thousand in reloadable clips."
"Huh?"
"Trust me, you'll love this. Now then, see this switch? Primary arming mechanism. Selects one of nine firm points. This unit's configured light. Twelve GR-30 medium range 'Jackhammer' missiles. So firm points three and seven - the fuselage points - are clear. Jettison button's here. If you select point four and jettison, you can kiss your gun goodbye. Select five or six and jettison, and you'll get an error message from Betty.
"Your engine instrument clusters are here and here."
"They look just like the Falcon's."
"Yeah, the bean counters figured it would save us money. Didn't help a hell of a lot, except for training purposes. Here's your third engine cluster."
"Ah...Major, I don't recognize any of these instruments."
"It's covered in the manual. Don't worry about it now. Flip up that lid. Right. That's your missile pickle. It will only release when a pylon is armed. Flip up that other cover, on the throttle. That one controls the laser turret." Fokker grinned. "The turret is on the underbelly, just behind the seat. It tracks to your helmet gyro. You have to select firm point five with the Primary Arm, then pickle that left button once. That brings the laser online. There's another trigger on the throttle; that fires paired high-power laser cannon, one mounted on each engine nacelle, just below the wing glove.
"Now we come to the important part. See those three levers on the left console, just before the throttle?"
"Yeah...S, G, F. What are they for?"
"Manual configuration controls. Not actually neccesary, but nice for a newbie. Which you are. Don't touch 'em until I say so. Here's your helmet."
Saotome caught the helmet Fokker pitched at him. "Uh, this isn't my helmet. Just a second and I'll grab it, it's in my duffle."
"Your old helmet will be completely worthless in this bird. That one's yours now. You can customize it later. Put these on."
Saotome caught the gloves. They seemed oversized and bulky, and had leads trailing from the cuffs.
"Plug the gloves in here and here, on the HOTAS."
He put his gloves on, plugged them in, and was surprised to feel the faint vibration of gyros spooling up in them. He glanced at the HOTAS, and found the calibration controls for the glove gyros. He donned the new helmet, adjusted it for fit, plugged it in and calibrated its gyros as well.
"A lot of these controls are from the Falcon or the Tomcat."
"Yeah, there's enough new tricks with this bird to keep anyone on his toes. Some of the old tricks are there to stave off overload. I'm dropping the canopy."
Two technicians completed the jet's pre-flight, and Roy powered up the jet's fusion engines.
"Okay, listen, Saotome, here's where it gets weird. This airplane is not just piloted; it's lived."
The jet taxied to the runway, then accelerated to takeoff.
"The helmet and gloves you're wearing are studded with sensors and electrodes. It knows what you want the bird to do before you do. In addition, there's the protoculture engine. Protoculture gives the bird the ability to bind with the pilot. But it's not something that's easily done."
The jet was now over the water. Saotome glanced at the instruments in front of him. The Valkyrie was just supersonic, and fairly close to the deck.
"If, and I mean IF, you can get the bird to figure out what's going on in your puny little brain, you get a whole new level of control. You see with the Valkyrie's sensors, in addition to your own. You can feel the wind under your wings. And you can fly like you were born to it."
Ranma grinned. This sounded too good! He closed his eyes...
"NO, DAMMIT! Keep those eyes open!"
He snapped his eyes open. And tried to see, with the radar...
He had it! He could sense things further away than he could see, and he could feel the jet responding to Roy's piloting, but at a far more instinctive level. He felt the wind at his face as the jet pulled up, cutting through the clouds, reaching for altitude.
"I'm giving you control. Feel her out, Saotome."
...And the jet was his. A light nudge with the yoke, and he could feel the elevons shift, sending the fighter into a light bank. He pulled it into a broad turn, monitoring his heading on the Heads-Up-Display.
He grinned, and deliberately tuned out the HUD. Instead, he simply called off the heading to himself as he turned. When he glanced up at the HUD, he was pleased to see that he had properly tracked the heading.
Roy grinned to himself. He was monitoring the kid's Delta and Alpha waves on his instruments. This kid was good! He'd already sublimated the bird to his will. Completely azended.
"You a martial artist, kid?"
"Yeah...Saotome School of Anything Goes."
"Really. Sounds neat. You martial artists tend to have an easier time merging with the plane. Ready to get really wild?"
"Uh, sure."
"Pull the lever marked G."
Suddenly, the aircraft lost a lot of speed. Roy glanced out the cockpit and saw the arms extending, the G-Pod held in the right hand.
"What the hell?"
Roy grinned. "You like? We call this configuration Gerwalk. It was originally designed for vertical takeoff and landing only, but we've found some nice uses for it."
"This is...impossible."
"No, this is Robotechnology. Watch and learn. Back seat has control."
Under Fokker's expert hand, the now-reconfigured jet shot back towards Macross Island.
"In this configuration, the Valkyrie performs basically still like a fighter. But this is where the mental link with the pilot becomes very important. The rudders are gone; your foot-pedals now control the legs. Direct elevon control is also gone; your yoke and throttle control the arms. You'll note that the gun pod is in the right hand. The left hand can carry and fire the GU-11, but you have no manual controls to do so. The only way you can fire it is through direct manipulation. The G-Pod also reconfigures; it now has a trigger." Roy grinned. "In fact, your yoke trigger is now disconnected. Pulling it just gives you the psychosomatic reaction of pulling the GU-11's trigger with the mecha's hand."
"So without controls, how do I fly the jet?"
"Same way you were before. Just go where you want to. You actually don't really need the gross motor controls; they just make your life easier. For fine motor controls, like the hands, you rely on your link to the bird and your sensor studded gloves."
The Valkyrie was slipping between buildings on Macross Island. Ranma noted that the buildings were obviously fake.
"This is a live-fire range. You won't be making use of it today, but I'll give you a bit of a demonstration. Armoured column at ten o'clock."
The Valkyrie's right leg leaned out, and the fighter spun on a dime. The large rifle in the right hand came up, and barked four times. Four tanks went up in flames. As the Valkyrie passed overhead, the laser turret on the underside opened up, both beams striking and destroying a fifth tank.
"All of that was done much the same way you'd do it if you were physically holding the rifle. Except the laser turret. That's a hard one to learn right away. You'll find you're really glad for those pickles. Pull the S lever."
Saotome did so, and was amazed to feel the jet shift under him again.
"Welcome to Soldier mode. In this configuration, the Valkyrie is fully humanoid and can perform as such. Your missiles are disabled, but the head lasers are still active. What do you think?"
There was no answer from the forward--now top--cockpit. Roy grinned. This boy was hooked.
"That was incredible! You were right, the Valkyrie is a lot more advanced than the Falcon. And it handles sweet!"
"You don't fly mecha, you wear it." Fokker grinned, then gestured at the ship outside the restaurant's window. "You recognize her?"
"Uh, not really. Wait! Isn't that the alien ship that crashed? The one that put an end to the Global Civil War?"
"Yep. We're just about done rebuilding her. You did boot here, and you didn't recognize the visitor?"
"Well, I was on the other side of that mountain..."
"Oh, right. Forgot you can't see the ship from that side."
"Hello, can I take your order?"
Ranma glanced up at the waitress. She was young and quite pretty, and seemed out of place in the Chinese robe she was wearing. Probably as out of place as I look in my own Chinese garb, he mused. "Uh, sure. Combo Plate Three."
"I'll have just two egg rolls." Roy grinned at her. "You busy after work?"
"For you, Roy...yes." She grinned and left.
Roy grinned at Ranma. "Not that I really want to catch her...she's jailbait. Of course, for you..."
"Huh? Actually, I'm engaged."
"Really? Congrats. What does she think of you being posted here?"
"Uh...I dunno. It's an arranged marriage. I haven't even met her yet."
"Oh! What's her name?"
"Her name's Akane. Apparently my father and her father engaged us before we were even born. I was supposed to meet her a couple of years ago, but a couple of years ago was the first I heard of it."
"Oh. Well, good luck with it and all."
"Yeah..."
"By the way, I want you transferred to my squadron. You're damn good, kid, and Skull Squadron is for the best. Now if you're really set on being Two-I-See for Blue, I won't push it-"
"Are you kidding? There's no way I could take even a second position in a squadron! I just don't know these jets well enough."
"Give it time. When I think you're ready for it, I'll push you into a full squadron command slot."
The waitress returned, carrying their orders.
* * * * *
Ranma climbed out of the Valkyrie, sweat dripping off his forehead and speed jeans plastered to his body. It was incredibly hot, and being cramped into the Valkyrie's cockpit was no fun.
Well, the flying was fun. But the cockpit was small, and the air-conditioning scanty at best.
He had been at Macross for three months now, and had mastered all three modes of the Valkyrie. He despaired of ever becoming as skilled as Roy, who seemed to wear the mecha like a tuxedo, but he considered himself the equal--or better--of anyone else on the island.
Roy walked towards him from the direction of his own Valkyrie. The two had been playing hide and seek in the firing range, both in Gerwalk and Soldier Mode. Roy had proven to be a master of stealth in the Valkyrie. Ranma had only successfully haloed him once, but it seemed that his own RWR was pinging him constantly. And he had learned the hard way why the pilots referred to the on-board computer's irritating voice as "Bitching Betty."
"Not bad, kid. I've not had a challenge in quite some time. Good news, by the way. The new cockpits are being shipped in today. The technicians will start retro-fitting the Valkyries tomorrow. With the exception of the D model, that is." He grinned. "Just think. No more jury-rigged instruments, no more thirty thousand foot ceiling, and no more sweating off a gallon in the tank."
"I am definitely looking forward to it."
"Oh, and more good news. We've got a new CAG."
"Huh? They replaced you?"
"Not really. Island's fighter complement has gone way up, and they're putting me just in charge of Skull, instead of Skull, Blue, Red and Green Squadrons. Six new squadrons being formed, so they decided they needed a full bird to be CAG. So they brought in an old war hero. This guy's been flying since 1994, and he saw service completely through the Global Civil War. Hell, I once flew with him. He's good."
"Better than you?"
"Don't be silly. Funny thing is, though, I thought he retired about four years back."
"I couldn't stay away from the flying."
"Sir!" Roy saluted the man who had just spoken.
"At ease. Good to see you again, Roy."
Ranma appraised the man. He was tall, though still shorter than Fokker, and his hair was much longer than regulation. RDF went a lot easier than JSDF on hair, but this guy had hair to the middle of his back. He sported a neatly trimmed mustache. A golden eagle perched on his lapel. Below it was the insignia of the RDF. Opposite that was the name TENDO.
Ranma started. Tendo? Wasn't that the name of the family he was engaged to marry into?
The Colonel glanced at Ranma. "Captain Saotome, is it?" His greeting to Roy was English, but he switched to Japanese to address Ranma. "Your father spoke to me about your calling off your engagement."
"Um. Sir, I did not call off the engagement."
"Oh?"
"Uh, no sir. I merely stated that I was not ready for marriage at that time."
"I see."
An uncomfortable silence grew between the two men. Roy decided to break it.
"Ah, guys? Let's go over to the Dragon for something to eat, why don't we?"
* * * * *
"You are engaged to the daughter of the Colonel?"
The two pilots, having left Soun Tendo at the Dragon, were returning to the BOQ. Roy was shaking his head in disgust.
"You watch, you'll have your own command before you know it. Probably be working as a test pilot within two years. Man, you are on easy street!"
"If you did not notice, the Colonel seemed less than pleased with me."
"Yeah, but still, you're like family to him, right?"
"In a way. But--"
"I'll drop it, Saotome. I can take a hint." Roy grinned. "I saw a picture of the Colonel's family once. His wife was really pretty. I bet that his daughter takes after her."
"I thought you were going to drop this subject?"
"Okay, okay...By the way, you've drawn Hendrikkson for Destroid Training. Thought about what way you're going with them?"
"Yeah, the Spartan. It's basically similar to the Soldier Mode Valkyrie. More weapons and armour, but less mobility. But it's the closest there is."
"Yeah, I did Spartan myself, and Tomahawk."
"I don't like the looks of the Tomahawk, it's tooOOF!"
Ranma, upon rounding the corner, had collided with another person. Both were knocked down. Ranma shook his head and stood slowly.
"Clumsy oaf!"
"Huh?"
Ranma looked at the person he had collided with. It was a Japanese girl, rather short, with long hair. She was dressed in a jogging fleece set, and was scowling at him from the ground.
"Sorry 'bout this. I should have been watching where I was going." He held out a hand to help her up.
She ignored it. Her scowl deepened. She stood and glared at him, then resumed her jogging.
"What a wonderful, cheerful person." Roy glanced in her general direction. "Nice ass, though."
"Whatever."
* * * * *
He saw the girl the next day, in the chow line.
"Hi."
She looked over at him. The scowl returned.
"Look, I'm sorry for running into you yesterday."
The scowl remained.
"Uh...you weren't hurt or anything, were you?"
"Let me make this simple for you, flyboy. I'm not interested."
"HUH?"
"You guys seem to think that just because you're wearing a uniform means that all the girls will just come flocking to you."
"NO! I mean, I think you've got the wrong idea! About me, that is. I'm engaged! I'm just trying to be friendly!"
"Oh really?"
"Yeah! Calm down already, okay?"
She glared at him for a moment more, then seemed to deflate.
"All right. I'm sorry for being so mad at you. But I've been hit on by almost every guy since I came on base."
"Ah. Are you RDF?"
"No, but my dad is. He's posted here."
"Oh. So that's why you're here."
"On base?"
"More specifically, in the chow line." He held out his tray, and the cook dropped some so-called food on it. "Of course, you could eat at the Dragon, rather than here."
"Can't afford it tonight. Normally my sister handles the cooking, but she's sick, and Dad doesn't get paid until tomorrow. But him and his family get meal rations like anyone else. Normally, it's put into fresh food, and Kasumi cooks."
They had reached the table, and sat down opposite one another.
"Can't you cook?"
She glowered at him, then relaxed. "I'm...not very good." She looked down, and picked at her food.
"Oh."
"So, what's your name?"
"Saotome Ranma. And you?"
-CLATTER-
He looked up, and saw that she'd gone pale as a ghost. Her fork had dropped out of her hand and landed on the floor.
"I...I've gotta go...nice meeting you."
And she was gone.
Ranma frowned. "What the hell...?"
* * * * *
"Hi, Minmei!"
"Hi yourself, Saotome!"
Ranma dropped into the booth bench in his customary corner. Roy dropped into the seat across from him. Normally, they shared this booth with two other pilots from Skull, but today it was just him and Roy. Ranma had just completed a series of complex maneuvers as part of the Launch Day Celebrations. Roy had run into an old friend as well, a young man he had referred to as "Little Brother". Despite the fact that Rick Hunter was half Japanese, and not even related to Roy. Rick was a good pilot though, and had paced Ranma's Valkyrie in his little turbofan airplane.
"The usual?"
"Yep."
"Sorry, I'm off today. I'm going to catch the rest of the show!"
She ran out the door.
Roy chuckled. "One of these days she's gonna make a really good waitress...but she ain't there yet." He tossed a thumbs-up to Ranma. "Shit-hot out there today, kid. But what the heck were you doin' out there? Rick coulda shot you down if he'd had a gun on that firecracker of his."
Ranma shrugged. "He was obviously no threat, so I kept formation."
"Yeah, right. More likely you were just taken by surprise. Rick's the only guy I know brave enough to put solid rocket boosters on a fan jet. Oh, I got your performance evaluation from Hendrikksen on your Destroid training. He says he might have a spot for you in the Third Armoured Cavalry if you ever get bored with Valkyries."
Ranma snorted. As if a fighter pilot would ever condescend to join a mud-mover brigade. "No thanks. I like the Skull far too much. Especially now that I'm a flight leader..."
"It ain't official yet, hot shot. Not until Commander Hayes clears it. But I think you got it made."
Ranma looked up as another figure dropped into the seat next to Roy. Roy glanced at the older man sitting next to him. "Sorry, old-timer. That seat's reserved for Skull Squadron pilots only."
Ranma grinned. "He can sit there, Roy. Oi, oyaji. How's it going?"
"I am well, son."
"This is your father?"
"Yeah. Roy Fokker, this is Saotome Genma. Father, my commanding officer and best friend, Major Roy Fokker."
Roy bowed. As best he could from a seated position.
"You're Ranma's CO? The legendary Roy Fokker?"
Ranma's eyes shot through to his hairline.
"Waddaya mean, legendary? Something you're not telling me, sir?"
Roy grinned. "Well, I kinda lead the first mission into the visitor."
The elder Saotome grinned. "Yes...I was also on that mission."
"Really? Oh, yeah, now I remember you! I didn't recognize you without hair." Fokker grinned at Ranma. "You're lucky, kid. Your old man is the only one besides me and Lang that got out of that alive."
"Oyaji? You, in the military? In the Global Civil War?"
"Yes, I was part of the Japan Self Defense Force, Marine Division. I was posted to the Promotheus. Damndest thing you ever saw. We had a Russian Captain, an American CAG--" he gestured at Roy "--My CO in the marines was Japanese, the Chief Engineer was British and the Scientific Envoy was German. All five of the major powers from World War II, on one boat."
"Hey, Genma. Captain Gloval's been put in command of the Macross."
"Really? He runs a very tight ship. He's a good choice for that thing."
Roy chuckled. "Yep. And Emile Lang is still around as well. Always thought that was a damn silly name for a German."
"I think his family originally came from Belgium, in Flanders."
The bells above the door rang. Roy glanced up, then gestured across the room. "There's your mystery girl again, Saotome."
Ranma looked over, and sure enough, there was the girl. She had just stepped into the White Dragon, but upon spotting Ranma, turned and fled.
Ranma had seen her three times in the last month. Once in the chow line again, once at the Dragon, and once in the shopping district. Each time, he had tried approaching her, but she had run off. Usually insulting him as she ran.
Genma had turned and looked to the door. "Oh, her?"
Ranma looked up. "You know her?"
"Yes. Actually--"
-BOOM-
Roy glanced up. "Uh...they weren't scheduling to test fire the Macross' guns today, were they?"
Moments later, the air raid sirens began to blare.
"Oh, damn. Kid, they're playing our song. Nice to meet you again, Genma, but get to a shelter."
The two pilots jumped and ran from the restaurant.
"Skull Flight, we are tracking three inbound bogeys at Angels three zero. Your vector for intercept is zero eight five for sixty. Do not fire unless fired upon. We are vectoring reinforcements your way."
"Skull Six. Close it up. You're drifting to right."
"Sorry, Skull Leader."
"Go active."
"I've got contact. They're at Angels two five now, and I think they're launching small craft."
"I see them, Four. Range is fifty three. Lock Jackhammers, but do not launch."
"Two."
"Three."
"Four."
"Five."
"Six."
"RWR warning! Lead, the enemy are using active radar. Microwave band."
"Jammers on."
"Enemy have launched missiles, Lead."
"Roger that, Three. Skull, pop chaff and flare. Range is forty six. Launch Jackhammers."
The six Valkyries emptied their pylons of the Jackhammer missiles. Each Valkyrie's battle computer interfaced with Skull Leader's, directing every launched missile to a unique target.
"Impact in twelve. Eleven. Ten..."
"Vee Tee One Oh Two. Why are you still grounded?"
"Huh? I, uh, I think there's been some mistake. I'm not supposed to be here."
"You're right, you're supposed to be up there. Get airborne, now."
"Um, Okay, if you insist..."
"Five seconds. Oh, fuck. Ah, Saotome, take lead. I've gotta go help out a friend."
"WHAT? Uh, Yes sir. Five has lead."
"Two."
"Three."
"Four."
"Six."
Roy's Valkyrie peeled off and headed back to the island. Saotome's battle computer took up the missile load.
"Impact!"
Ahead of them, the sky turned molten as over a hundred warheads detonated. Ranma checked his radar.
"Ah, there's still lots of them. I estimate about sixty kills from that salvo. Three and Four. Shift to Gerwalk. The rest of you get ready to tango. Two lead Six."
"Two."
"Three."
"Four."
"Six."
And the furball was on. There were literally hundreds of the alien fighter pods. Tactical computer had come up with nothing on them; they were fighting blind.
Ranma pulled the Valkyrie all over the sky, using high-powered lasers, laser turret and tri-barrelled cannon on pod after pod. The alien fighters were remarkably poorly armed and armoured. Although their nose guns could--and did--make hash out of the Valkyries.
"Four's hit. I've gotta break off--"
"Four, punch out. Four! Damnit, Archer--"
"Skull Squadron Second and Third Flights are inbound."
"Thanks, Commander."
Ranma's gun ran dry, and he shifted to Gerwalk to jam another clip home. Without changing configuration, he spun and blasted six pods one after another. Then one of the aliens got lucky and tagged his wing.
The left wing was sheared off at the halfway point. Ranma's Valkyrie lost too much lift to remain at his current altitude.
"Damn! Two, take lead, I have to break off."
"Two has lead."
Ranma allowed his Valkyrie to drop towards the island. He saw the giant Super Dimensional Fortress struggling to lift off as he dropped into the city.
This ain't the range, he reminded himself. People have to live here when we're done.
"Skull Flight, one of the enemy dropshuttles has gotten past you. It appears to have landed in the water. Break off and prepare to defend the city."
"Roger that, Commander." Roy was back on the Tac Net. "All right, ladies, you heard the Commander. Let's go play, shall we?"
Ranma watched as the remainder of Skull Squadron dropped into the city and reconfigured to Soldier Mode. Ranma kept one eye on his scopes and one on the Tac Display.
"We're approaching the drop zone...No sign of the intruder."
"Keep your eyes peeled."
"Ah, roger that. Ah, something's breaking the surface. Looks like some kind of pod. Ah...Oh hell. Base, we are under att--"
"Eyes Front, come in. Come in, Eyes Front!"
Ranma's Tac Display lit up.
"Base to Skull Squadron. Expect company. Southern edge of the island."
No response from Roy.
"Skull Leader, report in."
"Ah, Skull Leader. I've got a bit of a problem here. Five, do you still have lead?"
"Passed it to Two."
"Don't do that. Five, take Lead."
"Ah, Roger. Five has Lead."
"Two."
"Three."
"Six."
"Kramer, how's your flight?"
"We've been better, Roy. And Jackson's still upstairs. They're latched but good."
"Damn. Ranma. Go play hide and seek."
"Yes sir. Skull, move out."
Ranma glanced at the Tac Net. A total of eight Soldier Mode Valkyries, from both Fokker's flight and Kramer's flight, made up the portion of the Skull under his command. The group made their way further into the city.
"Keep your eyes peeled. Go to FLIR if you've got it."
"Two."
"Three."
"Six."
"Saotome. I'm passing what's left of my command over to you."
"Roger that, Kramer. You're Five. Fill in my gaps."
"Roger. Four, Seven and Eight are yours."
"Bogey! Bogey at eleven--"
Ranma pivoted and haloed the pod. The alien Mecha looked remarkably like a headless ostrich, except for the two large cannons on the carapace that tracked towards his Mecha...
Ranma hosed the target down with his gun pod. The alien proved to be as flimsy as the fighter pods, and went down in seconds. The GU-11 spun on empty, and Ranma ejected the clip.
"Thanks, Three. Move ahead."
"Roger."
Ranma dug out his last clip and jammed it home. "I'm on my last. How are y'all doing?"
"Two's got one left."
"Three's empty."
"Four's got two."
"Five's got one."
"Six has two."
"Seven has one."
"Eight has one."
"Damn. Six, toss one to Three. Base. What are the odds of us getting some heavy metal in here?"
"Roger that, Skull Leader. Fourth Cavalry will be dispatched to your location."
"Hear that, guys? Let's keep 'em busy until the Destroids get here."
The Valkyries began to play a deadly game of cat and mouse with the alien Battle Pods. Valkyries would pop out of alleys, step around corners or fire from hiding places in buildings. Ranma's GU-11 ran dry quickly, and he was forced to go hand to hand. Luckily, his martial arts translated very well into Mecha combat.
But it couldn't last. Despite his best efforts, a Battle Pod got the drop on him, blasting away most of his left leg. The crippled Valkyrie dropped to its side, and Ranma panicked. He reached overhead for the eject handle, but paused when he realized that punching out would put him through the building behind his head. He watched as the pod closed in for the kill...
...and was demolished by a long-range particle cannon blast.
Ranma whooped, and patched into the Tac Net. "Fourth Lead, this is Skull Leader. Welcome to the front line. Skull Five, my Valkyrie is toast and I am out of this fight. You've got lead. And the Cavalry has arrived."
"Amen, brother."
Ranma popped the cockpit and dragged himself out of the Valkyrie. He looked at it sadly and shook his head. The fighter would never fly again.
There was a sound of metal on metal, and the blasted Battle Pod began to stir.
Ranma panicked again. He backed away from the pod.
The pod's main hatch opened, and the occupant emerged. He looked remarkably human, save for the bluish tinge on his skin...
...and the fact that he was thirty feet tall.
Ranma swallowed, and reached for his sidearm. For all the good it'll do me, he mused.
The giant seemed not to notice him, however. Instead, he simply staggered up to the fallen Valkyrie and gave it a good swift kick.
"Hey! That's my plane!"
Ranma realized a bit late that it was a bad idea to get a giant's attention.
The alien turned and drew a sidearm.
Kramer's head laser blew the giant's chest out from the back. It fell, and Ranma had to jump to avoid being crushed.
Kramer dropped his spent GU-11, and picked the giant's sidearm up in one metal fist. His voice boomed out over the Valkyrie's external speakers. "Good, I was running on empty. You owe me, Saotome. Get your ass to a bomb shelter now."
* * * * *
"Take us down! Right to the deck!"
"Aye sir!"
The Super Dimensional Fortress had launched in an attempt to battle the alien armada that had encircled Earth. However, a salvo from one of the alien battlewagons had crippled her, and she was forced to break off. Now she was attempting to put the bulk of the planet between her and the fleet.
"Sir, I read one alien ship, medium sized, probably a cruiser. It is closing on this location. Bearing Three Forty Nine, Azimuth Twelve."
"Damn! Program a Fold from here to Lagrange Two."
"Sir, the Fold system is untested."
"Get ready to test it. We need altitude for this. Helm. Positive Z, fifty meters per second."
"I can give you thirty..."
"Good enough."
"Sir, alien cruiser is firing."
The dimensional fortress shook as it was struck by the enemy vessel's guns.
"Fire main gun."
"Sir, the Reflex Cannon is still off-line."
"Engage the Fold system. Now!"
"Sir, Macross Island is in range of--"
"Now, dammit! While we still have time!"
Space warped around the ship.
* * * * *
*He's insane!*
The Commander of the alien fleet gaped at the viewscreen before him.
*He's attempting a Space Fold while in atmosphere!*
* * * * *
The Super Dimensional Fortress Macross ceased to exist.
* * * * *
The Super Dimensional Fortress Macross resumed existence.
"Fold Operation complete."
Gloval sat back in his seat. "Bozhe Moi."
"Sir, I am detecting a large mass directly below us."
"Were we followed?"
"No, sir. It's Macross Island..."
The blast shelter was airtight.
Ranma was very glad of this fact.
There had been considerable noise outside the shelter, until about six hours ago. Then, all noise had ceased. Not even the sound of wind, or the omnipresent hum of the generators reached inside the shelter.
The power had gone out, and the shelter had gone completely dark. Eventually, someone had tried putting the shelter's backup generator online, but had had no luck. The generator turned over, but refused to start.
The generator was located outside the shelter.
There was a tertiary power supply, a set of Protoculture cells. Ranma had brought these online, and that gave them limited lights in the shelter. It also brought the external viewers online.
All the viewers showed was the star-studded blackness of space, the frozen land all around them, and the Macross hanging over them.
Ranma paced nervously. With the Protoculture cells powering life support, they could survive in here for quite some time. There was enough food for a thousand people for six months. With only four hundred or so in the shelter, that would last much longer than the best projected time for the air purifiers.
Now all they had to do was to hope that the Macross could launch some sort of rescue operation.
A rather large, heavyset man in a Hawaiian T-shirt walked up to Ranma.
"Hey, Captain. You're the ranking officer here, right?"
"Uh, I guess so. Only other U.N. Spacy personnel here are enlisteds."
"Good. Listen, this sort of situation, the military's supposed to be in control."
Ranma remembered who the man was. "Uh. Mr. Mayor, I think you outrank me in this situation. I mean, I'm just a Captain."
"Maybe so. But look. These people are worried. I mean, we're stranded in space. We know we'll be rescued. But waiting is gonna drive them nuts. So we need to do something--anything--to keep them occupied."
"Uh, okay. What do you suggest?"
"I recommend we take a head count. Get names, too. It'll be sure to help whoever's coordinating the rescue mission. I imagine the other shelters are thinking of this as well, especially any of your boys among them."
"Okay then." Ranma grinned at the thought of something useful to do. He grabbed a clipboard that was floating nearby and drifted towards the crowd.
"Okay, listen up. We're going to do a quick tally and get everyone's name. I'm gonna write these down here, and when we're rescued, we'll, uh, have a list of names for them." He repeated himself in English, jotted down his own name, then turned to the mayor. "Uh, sir, what's your name?"
"Thomas Luan."
He wrote it down and proceeded to the next person.
* * * * *
"Negative, Skull Leader. We need you for the rescue operation."
"Damnit, my friend is somewhere out there. I got him into this, and I gotta pull him out of it."
"I say again, Skull Leader. Negative. You can look for your friend on your own time."
"Yes, SIR!"
"Don't worry, Fokker. He's probably in one of the bomb shelters. We'll bring him in."
* * * * *
"Name?"
He glanced up from his clipboard, and into the face of his mystery girl. She looked trapped, and was glancing about her, as though searching for an escape. Another girl floating next to her, a very tall girl with long hair bound into a ponytail, put her hand on the smaller girl's shoulder, as if to offer support.
"Uh, your name is...?"
She sighed, as though in resignation.
"Tendo Akane."
* * * * *
Ranma set his clipboard on the desk and sighed.
And then grabbed the clipboard as it started to float away. Glancing around, he found a clamp, and secured the clipboard.
"Hi."
He glanced over at Akane. She was drifting slowly towards him, her skirt billowing out behind her. She put out a hand to stop herself as she reached the desk, then spent a couple of seconds trying to stop her spin.
"Uh, hi, Akane."
"Um..."
"Ah...I guess we're engaged, huh?"
She scowled. "It wasn't my choice."
"Mine either. But Pop and your father decided to make that choice for us, didn't they?"
"I guess."
They floated for a second, neither looking at the other.
"So...how do you feel about it?"
He shrugged. "Giri."
"Giri? Is that why you tried to break the engagement?"
"HEY!"
"Damnit, Ranma, you didn't even try to contact me or Dad! Your father came to tell us about your decision. Dad was heartbroken! He nearly had an emotional breakdown!"
"The Colonel? Emotions? Feh."
"You idiot! You think he goes around putting his feelings on display for the whole world to see? Do you know why he retired?"
"Not offhand."
She quieted her voice. "When Mom died, Dad nearly died with her. He left the base on Grievance Leave, and didn't go back. They sent MPs around looking for him, and they had to pry him from his room to court martial. They gave him an honourable discharge, with option to re-up if he wanted to.
"For the last five years, he's been in emotional shock. The only thing that kept him going was the fact that before Mom died, she had agreed to our betrothal. But he wouldn't run the dojo. We had to rent the space out to another master, just to keep the bills paid. Kasumi kept us all going, and Nabiki kept the books balanced, but it was hard."
Ranma was silent.
"Ranma...I'm not gonna ask you to marry me, or anything. But you told my Dad that you didn't break the engagement, just...put it on hold. Did you mean that? I mean, I'm not going to break off the engagement unless you want to. Do you want to end it?"
"No."
She nodded. "All right. We'll keep on as we are now."
They floated in silence. Akane realized she was still turning very slightly on spot. She cursed quietly, and struggled to stop her spin.
Unfortunately, Akane was not at all experienced with zero-gee activity. The more she struggled to stop, the faster she ended up spinning.
"Want a hand?"
She glared at him. "No, thank you. I can manage."
"Are you sure? I mean, a skirt's not the best thing for zero-gee..."
"What are you talking about?"
"I mean, the whole shelter must know about those polka-dotted--"
"HENTAI!"
He wasn't sure where she got the mallet. But it connected with the side of his head with all the power of a Valkyrie's punch, and he found himself sailing through the air until he collided with the bulkhead.
"Hey! I stopped spinning!"
She quickly adjusted her skirt.
* * * * *
Ranma drifted back to consciousness to find himself face down on the floor. There was a light pressure on his back, that he was guessing was a hand. He rolled over, and felt the hand leave his back.
"Oh, good, he's waking up."
Ranma blinked, and managed to focus on the speaker. It was a girl, with short hair and a healthy build.
"We were starting to wonder if maybe Akane'd hit you too hard."
"Does she do that a lot?"
"Only to guys." The girl handed Ranma a bottle. "Here. Tylenol. Fifty yen each, please."
Ranma scowled at her, then reached into his pocket and flipped her a hundred yen coin. He swallowed two of the Tylenol dry, then looked around for a drinking bulb.
Another girl floated over, a bulb in her hand. Ranma recognized her as the girl he'd seen with Akane earlier. She handed the bulb to Ranma. "Here. Drink this."
Ranma looked at her suspiciously. "What's it gonna cost me?"
"Oh, no, no charge."
Ranma accepted the bulb and drank deeply.
"I hope you won't think less of Akane. She's really a very sweet girl. It's just that she has an uncontrollable temper."
"I'm pretty sure he's figured that out already, oneechan."
"Yeah." Ranma rubbed his head. "Man, try to help someone out, and this is what I get?" His fingers encountered cloth. "Hey, who bandaged my head?"
"Oh, that was me. There was a small cut that was bleeding, and I thought it would be best to bind it."
"Thanks."
* * * * *
Cheers arose throughout the shelter as the doors opened into the light.
Colonel Tendo strode into the shelter and raised his voice. "You are the last shelter in. Congratulations are in order to civil powers. Not a single life was lost during the mis-fold. Everyone on the island made it to a bomb shelter on time."
Saotome stepped up to the Colonel. "Sir. Here is a list and count of every person in this shelter. Sorted by name, family then given."
"Thank you, Captain." Tendo quickly flipped through the list. He grinned. "Thank you very much. I was hoping to find them here. Kasumi! Nabiki! Akane!" He handed Ranma the clipboard and waded into the crowd.
Roy pushed his way into the shelter. "Ranma! Thank God you're here. I was starting to get worried."
"Hey, no problems, Captain!"
"Have you seen Rick?"
"Who? Oh, Rick Hunter! No, he wasn't here. Maybe one of the other--"
Ranma stopped, remembering that this was the last shelter to be brought in. Roy was flipping through the clipboard.
"Looks like Tendo's little speech was premature. We found no bodies on the remains of the island." Roy's voice was bitter. "But it looks like both Rick and Minmei were out there."
Ranma sat in the dining room of the White Dragon.
The entire town of Macross was being rebuilt inside the Super Dimensional Fortress. Many of the buildings had been undamaged by their little jaunt through space. It was simply a matter of pulling them into a cargo bay, repressurizing the bay, and moving them to their destination inside the ship. Sometimes, thawing the buildings would damage them to the point of irrepair. Then, the building was torn down and rebuilt.
The White Dragon had survived mostly intact, save for one corner where a Valkyrie had crashed into it. But the owner was not himself.
"You were always her best friend, Ranma. I mean, you were always kind to her, and you never hit on her. She liked the attention she got from the pilots, but she always wanted someone just to be her friend."
"I know, Max-san. I miss her, too."
"Miss who?"
Ranma looked up to see Akane walk in. "Oh, Max-san and I were talking about his niece. Lin Minmei."
"Oh? A girlfriend of yours?"
"WHAT? No way! Minmei and I were just friends!"
"Please. Don't be jealous of Minmei." Lin-san smiled. "Saotome-san never did anything inappropriate to her. He was just her friend."
"Well..."
"Akane..." Ranma stared at his plate. "Minmei is missing. She and Rick Hunter were never found."
"Oh...I'm sorry, Lin-san."
He bowed to her, and moved towards the kitchen.
The door opened again, and Roy Fokker walked in. He collapsed into his customary seat and glared at Ranma.
"You're out of uniform."
"Huh?"
Roy pulled a small cardboard chit from his breast pocket and tossed it to Ranma. "This is only a field brevet; it won't be official until we hit dirtside again, so you won't get any more pay. But it IS for real. Congratulations, First Looie."
"Hey, thanks, Roy!" Ranma wasted no time pinning the silver bars on his lapels.
"Hey, you earned it, kid. All I did was point that out to old man Tendo. Oh, and more good news, Saotome. We're both on duty at seventeen hundred. Construction work, oh joy, oh joy."
Ranma frowned. "A Valkyrie for construction work?"
"Nope. We'll both be in Spartans. You might not believe it, but the Crow Hands on the Spartan are actually better for this sort of job."
"Oh, I believe it. I mean, the Spartan can rip sheet metal in half."
"In this case, it's a combination of the strength and accuracy. Valkyrie hands are too clumsy, and the little manipulators built into the arm are too flimsy."
Max returned from the kitchen with three menus and three glasses of water on his tray. He set the tray on the table and began handing out the menus. Unfortunately, he hit the glasses.
-SPLASH-
Where Ranma had been sitting, there was now a petite redhead, the RDF uniform hanging off of her.
"Shimatta..."
"What the bloody hell?" Roy sat bolt upright in his seat. Akane stared at the girl in shock.
"Well, I suppose you had to find out sometime."
"Ranma...is that you?"
"Yeah."
Max beat a hasty retreat to the kitchen.
"Lemme explain here. About three years ago, me and Pop went to this place called Jushenkyo. It's supposed to be a training ground. In fact, it's a cursed training ground. Anyone who falls into one of the pools takes the body of whatever drowned there. I fell in Nian-ni-chuan. Spring of Drowned Girl."
Ranma reached for the small teakettle on the table. She upended it over her head, then set it down.
"As you can see, hot water reverses the effect, but only until next time I come into contact with cold water."
Roy frowned. "How much cold water?"
"I think it's more of a matter of how much of my skin is contacted." He picked up the third glass, and poured it over his hand. "As you can see, this isn't enough. If I dumped it over my head, it would be."
Akane was still staring at him, her mouth hanging open.
Roy rubbed his chin. "How the hell did you survive boot camp? I mean, the first time you had to shower--"
"Ever been to boot at Macross?"
"Ah...no."
"It's the only boot camp with partitioned showers. And at Kadena, we actually had heated showers. And of course, the Macross BOQ had a shower for each room. It was just a matter of not letting Ben in while I was showering."
Roy rubbed his chin. "This is too weird. As your commanding officer, I should report you. But first off, no-one would ever believe me. And second, I think we could turn this to an advantage."
"Whaddaya mean?"
"Well, it's been known for about twenty years now that women make better fighter pilots than men. And I'm sure the same goes for Valkyries."
"Hey, I'm a guy, got it?"
"But only part time! So you just take a canteen of cold water and a thermos of hot into the cockpit with you..."
"Forget it!"
"For now, I will."
Akane closed her mouth with a snap. "I was right the first time. You ARE a pervert."
"WHAT?"
"But at least it's just your body that's perverted. I can cope with this...I think."
* * * * *
"Keep it going, Saotome."
Ranma was strapped into the Spartan Destroid. The machine's weapons bays were empty, as it had been pressed into duty in construction. Opposite him was an ADR Defender, its gun-arms dismounted and replaced with twin boom-cranes. The cranes were hoisting a two-storey house. Ranma's job was to align the house with its new foundations.
"All right...stop there. Bring it a little to the left. Your OTHER left, shithead! All right. Bring it down...There. Okay boys, back off. Smith, unhook. Looks good." The construction boss, an RDF Gunnery Sergeant, took off his helmet and mopped his brow. "There's one more family able to sleep at home tonight."
-GROAN-
"Aw, fuck! Smith, hook back up!" The boss jammed his helmet back on as the ADR stepped forward to re-engage the crane. Unfortunately the added strain on the floor caused it to buckle.
"Jesus Christ! Get out of there, Smith. Saotome, back as well. Thirty meters, minimum."
The Mecha and humans scrambled away from the building as the deckplates slowly caved in. The ADR pilot slung a hook onto the building, keeping it from falling in. The deckplates came completely loose, cascading down into the bowels of the ship.
"Fucking great! Just fucking perfect! Saotome! Have you got a floodlight on that thing?"
Ranma clicked on the externals. "Sorry, Gunny. I do believe that Smith has that honour."
"Smith! Light up those floods and give us a look-see down there."
"Sure, Gunny. Gimme a second..." Smith brought the ADR's boom-crane around, and dragged the house to a more stable location. He then walked up to the hole in the deck, and swivelled both searchlights down into the hole. The Sergeant walked up to the hole.
"Yeah, looks like a bad support gave out here...fairly contained, we can work around it until we can fix it."
"Uh, Gunny? I've got two small heat signatures down below. Human, I'd guess."
"Human? What the fuck? Saotome! Get a lift platform over here!"
Ranma ran his Mecha over to the supply truck, got a lift cage, and connected it to the Defender's free boom-crane. Over the Tac Net, he heard Smith calling for a medevac team.
Then Smith lowered the cage into the hole.
"They're moving away from the drop point...okay, they've stopped. I guess they were just getting to a safe distance. Cage is down. They're getting into it. I'm bringing them up slowly..."
Ranma fiddled with the Destroid's optic systems and zoomed in on the rising cage. As it entered the flood's range, he gasped in recognition.
"Saotome to Fokker."
"Huh? What's up, kid?"
"We just found Rick and Minmei. They're alive!"
* * * * *
"So, what did I miss?"
Hunter sat opposite Fokker and Saotome at the Skull's table of the White Dragon. Minmei, for the moment, was wrapped around him. Minutes before, she'd been wrapped around Ranma, much to his discontent. And Rick's.
"Well, the SDF-1 made an unscheduled jump from Earth to here. Last I heard, we're two and a half months from home on subluminal drive."
"Why can't we just 'jump' back?"
"I'm not sure. Something about some piece of machinery being destroyed down in the engine room. Also, we can't currently fire the main gun. Dr. Lang is working on a fix for that problem. Rumor has it he's solved it, but the Captain didn't like his answer, and sent him back to the drawing board."
"How many people are on board?"
"About sixty thousand. We're rebuilding the city, but we can't put too many of our raw resources into housing. So whenever a house can't be salvaged, we pull it apart and build a new one. Usually with more bedrooms."
"That's actually what I was doing when I punched a hole through the floor..."
"C'mon, Ranma, that wasn't your fault. I mean, the structure was probably weakened beforehand. That house probably weighed less than your Destroid or Smitty's, so it's just a matter of you reached that beam's limits."
"Yeah, well, now some of those raw resources that we have too little of now has to go to patching up that hole."
Rick stood and stretched. Minmei hopped up to allow him out of the booth. "Well, I gotta head. I'm still really tired from all that. I gotta see the quartermaster for a place to crash."
"Rick, why don't you join the RDF? I mean, you're a natural pilot, even better than Saotome here."
"Yeah, right..."
Fokker slugged Ranma's shoulder. "Shut up, you." He turned back to his friend. "Listen, Rick. The RDF's really hurting for pilots right now, and there's not too much call for non-military work around the ship right now. So right now you're supercargo; you're doin' nothing. If you sign up, at least you'll be working towards givin' everyone on board a ticket home."
The bell on the door rang as Akane entered. Unnoticed, she stood and watched the scene before her.
"Roy, you know how I hate the military--"
"Does that include me, little brother? Damnit, do you even know why I'm here in the first place?" Roy seemed genuinely angry.
"No, Roy, I don't. What happened? What made you willing to kill?"
"Damnit, Rick! I signed up because there was a cause to believe in. At first it was the damn Russkies bombing the eastern seaboard. Pop died there because he wouldn't fight. I wanted to make sure that didn't happen again. And I stayed in, and transferred to U.N. Spacy, because I saw what was in this ship. I saw the fucking giants, and I knew they'd be coming for us. I knew they'd want this ship back. And I knew they weren't just going to ask." He waved his hand towards Sol. "They're still out there, and they're hostile, and I still have to protect the people here. Like it or not, little brother, I have to kill."
"Don't try to make me into a killer, Roy. I won't let it happen." Rick was standing, fists clenched, teeth bared.
Roy sighed. "Okay, Rick. Forget I mentioned it, okay?"
Rick stood stock-still, then slowly relaxed. "Okay, I will. I gotta go." He turned and left the building.
Akane walked over and sat down across from Ranma. "Who was that?"
"Hm? Oh, Rick Hunter. Roy's little brother."
"Really? No family resemblance."
"Well, it goes back to when he and I were in his pop's flying circus." Roy gulped his coffee. "We flew as a pair, and we understood each other pretty well. My parents had died ten years before the Global Civil War, so Pop Hunter kind of took me in."
"He's cute."
Akane realized that she was getting fishy stares from both Minmei and Ranma. "What? He is!"
"He's lucky, too."
"Why's that?"
"He doesn't have an uncute tomboy for a fian--"
-WHACK-
"What was that, Ranma? Would you care to repeat that?"
Minmei blinked. "Oh, you must be Ranma's fiancee!"
"Huh? Oh, yeah. I'm Tendo Akane. Pleased to meet you." She bowed to the smaller girl.
"Lin Minmei. Pleased to meet you."
"Ranma's told me all about you."
Minmei began to sweat. "Nothing bad, I hope...?"
She grinned. "Don't worry. He told me you're one of his best friends on board. And nothing more." She glowered at Ranma. "Of course, he only saw fit to mention you yesterday..."
"Sir, I'm picking up large amounts of Reflex Energy discharge at zero two two azimuth zero three. Looks like a Fold operation."
Gloval pulled his pipe from his pocket and clamped it in his teeth. "On screen."
The visual came alive, displaying the area of space radiating the disturbance. Space lit up, as a huge globe three hundred kilometers across sprang into being. The globe faded, leaving a large fleet of warships in its wake.
"Damn, they've finally caught up with us. Well, we couldn't expect it to last. Kim, plot a course to slingshot us around Uranus. Maybe we can gain some speed as well as some cover. Lisa, order Valkyrie crews to ready five."
"Yes, sir."
"Sir!"
Gloval swiveled to face Sammie Porter. "What is it?"
"Regulations prohibit smoking on the bridge."
Claudia Grant shook her head in disgust.
Gloval pocketed the unlit pipe. "I wasn't going to smoke it...I was just holding it."
* * * * *
Commander Lisa Hayes' voice echoed throughout the vessel.
"All Valkyrie crews report to briefing. Ready Five in effect."
Roy stubbed his cigarette. "Fuck. So much for time off. C'mon, kid, there's work to do."
"Sorry, Akane, duty calls." Ranma jumped up, dropping a thousand-yen note on the table, and followed Roy at a dead run.
* * * * *
"Twenty five minutes ago, Bridge reported four thousand alien vessels folding into this area. The SDF-1 will be attempting a slingshot maneuver around the planet Uranus in an attempt to slip past the alien fleet. However, we know for certain that the aliens are aware of our presence. For all the good it will do us. Captain Saotome."
"Sir?"
"You are in command of Green Squadron. You will patrol Quadrant One. Skull Squadron, Quadrant Two. Red Squadron, Quadrant Three. And Vermilion Squadron, Quadrant Four.
"The remaining eight squadrons will remain on Ready Five, except for Gold, which will be on Alert One."
Groans were heard throughout the briefing room.
"Stow it. This is not a pleasure cruise. We will rotate one Squadron per hour, the team on Alert One replacing one fielded team, which then goes to the back of the list to be fielded. Each of you will be up for four and down for eight hours. We do not know how much breathing room the aliens are going to give us, so this schedule will prevail until further notice."
"Colonel, you're a heartless prick."
"Blue Squadron will now replace Gold on the catapults."
-GROAN-
"That's all. Deploy."
* * * * *
"Macross, Green Leader. Reporting contacts, vector...oh seven five azimuth negative three three from your direction of travel. Oh, and they're closing. Request instructions."
"Green Squadron, Macross. Close and attack. Skull Squadron has reported contacts and is engaging, so we're vectoring Sepia to support you. What's wrong with your voice?"
"Uh, must be a change in the helium mix in the cockpit..."
"Sepia Leader, Green Leader. Mind if we mix it up?"
"Colonel?"
Ranma stared at the Tac Net Screen. Soun Tendo had apparently taken over Sepia Squadron.
"Ah, no, I don't mind at all."
* * * * *
Akane stood before the U.N. Spacy recruiting center, debating whether or not she should be there.
~Doing this will not make Dad happy, and Kasumi will probably be very disappointed. And there's no guaruntee that they'll let me do what I want to...And Ranma will probably be most unhappy.
~And since when do I care what Ranma thinks?~
She set her jaw and walked in.
* * * * *
Quadrant One was one gigantic furball.
Ranma had her Valkyrie in Gerwalk Mode, and was ripping into fighter pods and battlepods with the GU-11 and head lasers. The aliens had fielded a small force by their standards, but Green Squadron was still outnumbered six to one. Sepia was still ninety seconds out, and Ranma knew that that might be too far out to save her own squadron.
As she watched, five Green Valkyries were ripped apart. Despite the RDF's best training, and mecha more powerful and better armoured than the opposition, sheer numbers could still weigh them down.
"Green Twelve, go to Gerwalk! They can outmaneuver you in Fighter Mode."
"Roger, Green Leader."
Ranma brought the GU-11 around and hosed down another fighter pod, then paused to reload. She glanced at the Tac Display, and grinned. "Green Team, heads up! Incoming friendly missiles!"
Green Valkyries all through the furball disengaged and pulled away from the alien mecha as a hail of missiles descended into the furball.
"Sepia Squadron, break and attack!"
Ranma watched in amazement as Colonel Tendo dived into the firefight. Although he remained in Fighter Mode, he was pulling stunts that Ranma knew she could never emulate. He mostly ignored the battlepods, but fighter pod after fighter pod fell before him.
Ranma grinned. Maybe they'd get out of this after all.
Her Tac Net flickered, and Roy came on. "Ranma, we've discovered that reconfiguration tends to confuse the aliens. If you switch modes often enough, you'll keep them off their edge. Oh, you're using your own secret weapon, huh?"
"Shut up, ah, Major."
"Yep, reconfiguration can really throw them off."
"You're a dead man, Fokker."
He laughed. "Later, later."
"Okay, Green, listen up. A bit of advice just came through from Skull. Reconfiguration can throw them off. So let's get wild."
Ranma reached over to her console and pulled the S lever. The Valkyrie reconfigured around her, and she spun to fire the GU-11 at the battlepod on his tail. She allowed the Valkyrie's wings to remain extended in order to improve maneuverability; the wingtip-mounted thrusters allowed the reconfigured Mecha more control in space. She fired the leg thrusters and rammed a pod, punching through its thin armour and depressurizing the pilot's compartment. Then a quick shift to Fighter Mode to close on the next target.
* * * * *
"We have to fire the main gun! It's our only way out. Prepare to execute Dr. Lang's modular transformation sequence."
"Sir! The city will be destroyed!"
"I know, Kim, but better that than the entire ship. Lisa, warn the people to the shelters."
* * * * *
"What the hell?"
Ranma watched as the Macross began its transformation sequence. The two supercarriers attached to the side began to swing outwards, and the twin booms of the Main Gun slid back along the fuselage. The overall effect was similar to the Valkyrie's reconfiguration. And the result was the same. The Macross was becoming a massive Battloid. The supercarriers were held before it like arms, and the massive engine thrusters protruded downward like legs and feet.
The alien Mecha broke off and began to retreat. Shouts of victory rose from the remains of Green and Sepia Squadrons.
"Good work, team. Let's head for home."
The Macross' main gun fired, the beam stabbing through the approaching enemy cruiser. In the silence of space, it exploded, sending debris flying in all directions.
* * * * *
Green and Sepia Squadrons, less than a full squadron in Valkyries between them, landed on the Promotheus. As soon as Ranma touched down, she removed her helmet, pulled out the thermos and poured some of the water inside over her head.
It was lukewarm. Even a thermos can keep water hot for only so long. She groaned, then donned her helmet and taxied to the liftlock.
Ranma climbed out of the fighter as a tractor rolled up to pull it to its berth. ~Yo, next thing to do is get back to my quarters and take a hot shower.~
"Captain Saotome?"
She grimaced, and turned to see Commander Hayes looking at her. She was very glad that she was wearing her body armour. As bulky as it was, it hid her body's more obvious features.
"You reported a gas imbalance in your cockpit."
"Ah, no ma'am, I said that I thought maybe a helium increase in my cockpit was responsible for my voice..."
"Remote monitoring of environmental conditions is built into every Valkyrie. I checked your fighter's gas mix. No increase in helium was indicated. Furthermore, there was your exchange with Major Fokker. What was this 'secret weapon' he mentioned, hmm?"
"Ahh...I'd rather not say at this time."
"Dammit, take off the helmet. It's muffling your voice."
Ranma cursed inwardly. She unclamped the helmet and removed it.
"I thought we had an imposter. Who the hell--"
Ranma fidgeted. "Tell you what, Commander. Why don't I explain this over a cup of tea."
* * * * *
Much of Macross City had been damaged severely by the modular transformation. Even now, teams of Destroids were working to rebuild the ravaged community. The White Dragon had survived untouched, as had several other buildings. Word was that the buildings would be replaced on segments that were stable during transformation.
At the moment, the Dragon was empty, save for Lin Max and Minmei. Max glanced up as Saotome and Hayes entered.
"Hi, Ranma. Lemme guess: You want some hot water."
"Good guess, Max. Hi, Minmei."
Minmei stared at her.
Lisa also stared. "So you really are Saotome."
"Yeah." Ranma sat down in his usual seat. Lisa sat down opposite him. "Lemme tell you all about Jushenkyo."
"Hey, Ranma! Thought you took a thermos into the cockpit with you?"
Ranma glanced up to see Roy Fokker walk in.
"Jackass! This is all your fault!"
"Hey, is that any way to greet your superior officer?" Roy grinned and wagged a finger at Ranma. He dropped into the seat next to Hayes.
Ranma scowled. "It was my second patrol. After fifteen hours, the water in the thermos was nice and cold."
"OKAY! Someone tell me what's going on?" Commander Hayes looked very confused and very upset.
"Trying to. Uh, Minmei, I don't think you know about this yet either. You might as well sit down and listen in."
Max returned with a teakettle. Minmei sat down next to Ranma.
"Okay, Roy already knows this story, but...About three years ago, when I was still training in martial arts, my father and I went to a place called Jushenkyo to train. Jushenkyo is full of one thousand small pools, and each one has a curse."
"Curse?" Hayes looked at Ranma oddly. "Are you feeling okay?"
Roy grabbed the teakettle and poured water over Ranma. Hayes stared at Ranma in disbelief.
Ranma looked down at his folded hands. "Believe me now?"
"Major Fokker, how long have you known about this?"
"Oh, about a week now."
"And you didn't report it?"
"Would you have believed me?"
Commander Hayes paused. "Well...no." She turned back to Ranma. "So what causes you to turn into a female?"
"Cold water."
"And you deliberately used cold water to transform before entering combat?"
"Uh...before launching, actually."
"Why?"
Roy spoke up. "Actually, Commander, it's my fault. During the Global Civil War, we found that women actually make better fighter pilots than men. It's just the social stigma attached, the idea that only a man can be a warrior, that kept it from becoming practice."
Hayes thought about this for a moment. Then she addressed Fokker. "Do you believe that only a man can be a warrior?"
Roy grinned. "'Warrior' conjures to mind someone dressed in armour and waving a sword. Men do tend to be stronger than women, so they can wear heavier armour and wave bigger swords. I think what you mean to say here is, can a woman be a better soldier or fighter pilot. Personally, I think so. Women have higher pain thresholds, can pull more gees and have a better grasp of spatial perceptions."
Hayes turned back to Ranma. "Saotome, you're the only one here who's been in both positions. What do you think?"
Ranma considered. "Well, I'm not sure. What Roy's talking about isn't really something I can pick up on. But I do know that I was interfacing with the Valkyrie better as a female."
The door opened, and Rick and Akane walked in. Both were wearing ROTP cadet uniforms. Roy glanced up in surprise.
"Rick! What happened?"
He grinned a bit. "I figured that maybe you were right. And at least, it's better than moping about here."
Ranma was equally surprised. "A-Akane? Are you crazy?"
Akane frowned at him. "Oh, you disapprove of my joining up?"
"People get killed out there! Why are you so anxious to put your neck on the line?"
Akane clenched her fists. "For the same reasons you do! My sisters are here, and I'm gonna do whatever I can to protect them. Why are you so concerned anyway?" She stopped, and grinned suddenly. "Are you actually worried about me?"
"No way!"
Akane noticed Commander Hayes suddenly. "And while I was off joining up, you're sitting here collecting more girlfriends?"
Roy guffawed.
"HUH? Commander Hayes is my commanding officer!"
"Well, that's one way to get promotions!"
Lisa was blushing furiously. "Excuse me, Major, I need to get back to the bridge."
Roy stood to allow her to escape.
Rick grinned at the still arguing Ranma and Akane. "Boy, you can tell they're really in love."
Ranma and Akane whirled on Rick. "Stay out of this, Hunter."
Lisa paused and glanced at Rick. "Rick Hunter?"
Rick seemed surprised. "Uh, yeah, that's me. Oh, no..."
Roy grinned. "Oh, yeah, you two have spoken before, haven't you?"
"Don't remind me," chorused Lisa and Rick. They glared at each other, then Lisa poked Rick in the chest. "You owe me a beer."
Roy laughed again. "Well, little brother, I know you're going into Valkyries. What did you sign up for, Tendo?"
Akane seemed to deflate. "Well, I wanted to fly Valkyries as well, but they pushed me into communications."
"Really?" Lisa raised an eyebrow. "Well, it just so happens that I've recieved some information that suggests that women make good Mecha pilots. This information warrants investigation. So we'll need to train some female Valkyrie pilots to investigate. Care to volunteer?"
"You bet!" Akane glanced at Ranma. "She knows...?"
"Yeah...Um, Commander? I'd appreciate it if word doesn't get around about my curse. You, too, Minmei."
"No problem, Captain."
"Okay, Ranma."
Rick looked confused. "Curse? What are you talking about?"
Lisa grinned. "Sorry, Cadet. That information is on a need to know basis. And you don't need to know."
Ranma dropped the Valkyrie onto the deck of the Promotheus and taxied over to the lift lock. He pulled out his thermos--a specially designed one with a built-in heater--and changed back to male. When the lift lock had cycled, he hopped out of the cockpit and ran for the door.
"Hold it, Saotome."
He skidded to a stop and turned to face Commander Hayes.
"Yes, ma'am?"
"I'm looking for a volunteer for a project."
Ranma knew damn well that that meant he'd already volunteered.
"Ah, what project, ma'am?"
"We have a class of Valkyrie pilots graduating in a week. Seventeen of these are female. Two are new recruits; the rest are former RDF personnel who signed up to pilot Valkyries and were...disappointed. Lieutenant Grant and I want to form a new squadron. I'm authorized to give you command of that squadron."
Good, not as bad as he'd feared. "Okay, Commander, count me in. Who'll be replacing me in Green Squadron?"
"Captain Kramer, from Skull Squadron. Some of the graduating class are going into Skull to fill some holes anyway, including your buddy Hunter." She tossed him an envelope. "Here are your orders. Oh, and you've got a five-day leave, starting now. Enjoy it."
"Yes, ma'am."
"Dismissed."
~Why do I have a bad feeling about this?~
* * * * *
Ranma walked into the White Dragon and over to the Skull table. Granted, he had not flown as part of Skull Squadron in two months, but he was always welcomed by the long-time Skull pilots.
Currently only Roy and Mark Kramer were at the table.
"Hey, Kramer. Want some hot gossip?" Ranma sat down at the table.
"Sure." Kramer grinned. "Who's it about?"
"You."
"Really? Do tell."
"Word has it you're getting your own command again."
"What squadron?"
"Green."
Roy squinted. "Isn't that your squadron, kid?"
"Was. Apparently, I've been transferred to a new squadron full of trainees."
"Hey, that says a lot about the brass' opinion of you, kid. Normally, trainees are assigned a commander with a hell of a lot of experience. And to give you a squad of nothing but trainees..."
"Yeah, well..." Ranma shrugged.
The door opened, and Akane walked in, grinning from ear to ear.
"Excuse, me, Captain." Ranma moved to allow Kramer to stand. Kramer walked around to the other side of the table and sat next to Roy, leaving a blank spot right next to Ranma. Akane scowled at all three of them, but took the spot.
"Well, I've officially graduated flight school and Valkyrie training. Graduation ceremony's tomorrow, then I get four days of leave. And I've already been posted to a new squadron."
"Really?" Ranma grinned a bit. "They told you who your commanding officer will be?"
"All Lieutenant Grant said is that she was a 'shit-hot pilot with more brass than a Flag Officer's Ward Room', end quote."
"Uh...she?"
"Yeah. Apparantly, it's an all-female squadron, right down to the CO."
"Kuso..." Ranma tore into the packet and pulled out his orders. Sure enough, it directed the formation of a new fighter squadron, all female, to be under the command of...
"Ranko Saotome?" Kramer frowned. "Hey, you got a sister, Captain?"
"I hate my life...I hate my life..."
Akane laughed. "So THAT's who she meant!" She picked up a glass of water and dumped it on Ranma's head. "Captain, this is Saotome Ranko, Ranma's...ah...sister."
* * * * *
Ranma banged on Commander Hayes' Quarters' door.
"Can I help you, Captain?"
He whirled, to find himself face to face with the Commander. Apparantly, she'd been out, probably at the Gym, judging from her attire.
"Commander, is this some kind of sick joke?"
"What exactly do you mean, Saotome?"
"I've been posted to an all-female squadron! Hell, I've been put in command of an all-female squadron! I'm a guy, damnit!"
"Apparantly, you're not a guy one hundred percent of the time. Look, why don't you come in for a minute, and I'll try to explain this a little better."
Ranma scowled, and nodded. Commander Hayes unlocked her door, and ushered him in. Five minutes passed while Hayes made a pot of tea as Ranma fidgeted. Finally, the Commander sat down opposite Ranma and started to speak.
"The Angel Squadron concept began when I discovered that you could change genders basically at will. When I heard that you could interface with the Mecha better in female form. And when I heard from Major Fokker that females make better fighter pilots. You stated that you couldn't notice any difference in things like pain threshold, gee tolerance et cetera when you flew as a female. I've seen your dossier, Captain. As a martial artist, you would have trained above levels normally attainable by either male or female. In fact, I'm willing to bet that your tolerances are so high that any benefits gained in female form are simply coals to Newcastle.
"This concept of an all-female fighter squadron was furthered when I interviewed several women in the RDF. Mostly those who were showing dissatisfaction with their current duties. Many women did join the RDF expecting to pilot Mecha. Your fiancee is one of those.
"Of course, it stands to reason that in an all-female fighter squadron, the pilots would resent a male commander..."
"Did you forget that my fiancee knows about the curse?"
"No...but will your fiancee tell anyone about it?"
"Probably not...but did you forget that the ward room of a fighter squadron only has one change area?"
"What does that have to do with anything?"
"Suppose that, in my female form, I were to walk into the ladies' room in a restaurant downtown...and you were in there."
"Mmm...Good point. And your fiancee is a lot better trained in hand to hand than I am. I'll talk to Construction, get them to put in a separate compartment for you."
"Won't work, Commander. All that'll do is reinforce negative feelings between me and the squadron." He considered for a moment. "Better plan. Get that extra compartment put in anyway."
* * * * *
"Good morning."
The ward room was barely controlled chaos. Seventeen females of different sizes and appearances sat talking among themselves. When Ranma spoke, however, they fell silent.
"Before we start, I have something to tell you. I'm your commanding officer--"
One girl, only sixteen from the looks of her, jumped up. "Sir, I thought we were to be given a female CO?"
Ranma poured some water on his head. "As you can see, I'm a female part time."
There were immediate and loud complaints from at least half of the pilots. Ranma waited them out, then jerked a thumb towards a door behind him. "That's my change room. So you don't have to worry about me using my gender changing curse to peek on you or nothin'."
"Just our luck, we got a pervert for a CO," grumbled one girl.
"What's your name, girl?"
"HUH? Uh, Kanzaki Shoko, sir."
"Corporal Kanzaki, you can get this straight right now. It's a curse that makes me change gender. I'm not happy about it, and I'd get rid of it if I could. In this case, however, my bad fortune is your good fortune. Commander Hayes decided that I should lead this squadron and ensure that the pilots in it are the best in the whole damn fleet. She decided this because despite my curse, I have been flying fighters for two years now, and have over two hundred and fifty hours of combat. Need I remind you that bad pilots are weeded out in the first five minutes of combat?"
The room was completely silent. Not one of the girls present had seen combat at all.
"In a war, a unit needs to have complete confidence in their commander. I made sure all of you knew about this curse now, because it would sure as hell make you madder if you found out about it later.
"Now then. I still have to organize this Squadron." She turned to the whiteboard and started jotting down names, both in Roman script and Kanji. When she was done, the names were organized into three columns. "These are the flight assignments. They are based on your simulator scores. The two strongest pilots are lead for their respective flights. The five weakest pilots are under my lead."
"Uh, sir...ma'am..."
"Better make it ma'am, at least in public."
"Yes, ma'am...Why not have the five strongest pilots under your command?"
"What would they learn then? And who would the weakest learn from?"
"Oh...right."
"Good. Then the flight leaders, besides myself, are Tendo Akane and Kanzaki Shoko. You'll be breveted to Warrant as soon as possible. Kanzaki, I don't have your dossier yet...are you a martial artist?"
"Uh...yes sir. Aikido, First Rank."
"Ah. Martial artists tend to make better Valkyrie pilots. Now, as to our first mission. We've been given a simple one first off, and I intend to make the most of what's normally wasted time. We have close patrol duty today. That means we'll be within visual range of the SDF-1 at all times. That also means that we have no actual navigation do be done. We just fly around the damn ship. Suit up and report to the launch deck."
"The Macross is attempting to make use of Uranus' gravitation in a 'slingshot' maneuver. Most of the Valkyrie forces are flying interference in the rings. The main reason we're not is that we're made up entirely of new graduates, so the powers that be don't think we've got enough experience. Personally, I think they're right."
"Nice to know you've got some confidence in us, ma'am."
"Hey, I've got every confidence in you. I just also realize that none of you has ever flown combat before. I, on the other hand, have seen far too much of it. I'd really rather not fly combat ever again."
The eighteen Valkyries of the newly-named Angel Squadron had drawn close patrol. As far as Ranma was concerned, this was the most boring job a fighter pilot could have. So, Ranma, secure in the knowledge that ANYTHING could become training, decided to put the girls to work.
As a result, the Valkyries were flying heel-and-toe follow the leader around the battlecruiser. Each Valkyrie was expected to keep a distance of two thousand meters, plus or minus two hundred, from the one before it. Radar and laser rangefinders were used to keep track of distances, and all the Valkyries uploaded their tracking data to Angel One.
"Yamagami, close it up. I've got a two point three klick gap showing there."
Ranma, of course, was not giving them an easy ride. So far, the hectic parade had buzzed the tower of the Promotheus, flown between the barrels of the railguns mounted on the Macross' 'shoulder' joints, flown between the massive booms of the reflex cannon itself, and even buzzed the Fortress' bridge. So far, they had drawn six complaints from various personnel for dangerous flying.
Ranma knew damn well that none of those complaints would ever materialize on paper in front of him. After all, this was training. He had learned at Kadena that even top brass turned a blind eye to trainees buzzing automobiles, flying under bridges, and using ECM gear to annoy civilian police radar traps. Anyone who couldn't buzz a car, fly under a bridge, or spoof the dinky little cop radars couldn't be relied upon in real combat.
So far, the girls had proven really good. Compared even to him, they were doing better than any other first-time Valkyrie pilot. Of course, how well they'd do in combat was another story altogether, and remained to be seen.
Ranma had also thoughtfully arranged for each Valkyrie to be carrying a load of paint balls in the gun pods. Each fighter carried live ammo in the leg clips, but the initial load was training rounds. As extra incentive for avoiding fire, each pilot was expected to clean the paint, frozen in the depths of space, off of her fighter.
But that was for later.
"Hey, Captain. We've got an audience."
Ranma glanced at the Flight Net. Angel Two, a gaijin girl named Amy Clark, had focused her imaging gear towards the bow of the Daedalus, where a Valkyrie hovered in Gerwalk. Its colours showed it to be part of the Blue Squadron.
"Hmmm...wonder what he wants?"
Ranma flicked the Tac Net to Blue's frequency.
"Angel One to Blue Fighter near Daedalus. Enjoying the show?"
"Of course, Angel One. When first I heard that an all female squadron was formed, I could not rest until I had feasted mine eyes upon the spectacle."
The Blue pilot spoke in antiquated Japanese. His image in the Tac Net screen showed only his eyes, the rest of his face being obscured by his helmet. And those eyes were incredibly arrogant.
"Ain't much to look at with all of us in armour."
"But is it not true that the beauteous Tendo Akane is part of this squadron?"
"Oh, Kami-sama, not him, not now..."
"Corporal Tendo...Can you explain this guy?"
"Ah...personal problem, ma'am. Just ignore him."
"Right. Angels, let's get back to work."
"Hold, Angel One. You must not merely ignore the great Kuno Tatewaki, rising star of the U. N. Spacy, the Blue Thunder of Macross."
"Where does this guy get his lines? Look, pal, shove off. Now. You're buggin' my pilots."
"For so fair a lass, you seem quite fierce. Shall we spar?"
Ranma ground her teeth. This guy was REALLY pushing his luck.
"I promise, I shall go easy on you."
"That's it. Angel Two, give this guy your gun."
"Huh?"
"Kuno, that gun pod is loaded with paint balls. First tag is a loss."
"I accept thy challenge."
Kuno grabbed the gun pod from Angel Two, and shifted to Soldier mode. Ranma did the same, and the two titanic figures faced off with each other.
Kuno was the first to move. A snap of the wrist, and a short blast of paint balls leapt from his cannon.
And flew through empty air. Ranma had already flipped his Mecha around and was coming up on Kuno's back. Kuno rolled his fighter, shifted to Gerwalk and widened the gap.
The fight proceeded, Kuno snapping short bursts at Ranma, and failing to connect. Each time, Ranma succeeded in simply being elsewhere, and steadfastly refused to return fire.
Eventually, Kuno's gun pod spooled on empty. He cursed, and reached for a replacement clip, forgetting that his own ammo was live.
Ranma thought his Mecha through a back flip kick that would have made Bruce Lee green with envy, knocking the replacement clip out of Kuno's grasp. He then proceeded to empty his own gun pod into Kuno's Mecha, painting a large Kanji across the chest of the Valkyrie. He jetted back, and admired his handiwork.
"INCOMPETENT"
"That was a nice little game, Kun-o, but you better run along home now."
Laughter flooded the Tac Net as Kuno, shaking with rage, left the battlefield.
"Okay, kids, enough play time. Let's get back to work."
* * * * *
"I shall not tolerate it! The commander of the Angel Squadron - a mere female! - has mocked the name of Kuno Tatewaki! It cannot be allowed to pass!"
"Stow it, Kuno. And keep scraping that paint! Sounds to me like you got exactly what you deserved."
"Silence, knave! I must plot my revenge!"
"Attention!"
Angel Squadron, whose members had been chatting among themselves, snapped to attention as their commanding officer entered the briefing room. Beside Ranko was Lisa Hayes, first officer of the SDF-1. Ranko saluted the Commander, then stepped aside to allow her the floor.
"At ease. As you all know, it was my decision and my project to create this squadron. I have read Captain Saotome's efficiency reports, and I have decided that this squadron was, overall, a good idea. Your squadron has consistently outperformed any other in your class, and even a few existing units such as Blue or Sepia."
Cheers rung throughout the briefing room. Cmdr. Hayes waited until they died down. "Therefore it is my pleasure to announce that Angel Squadron will be the first fully operational Valkyrie Squadron composed entirely of female pilots. Congratulations; your assignment here is permanent. A new squadron, Faerie Squadron, will take over training of the next batch of female pilots, and the Captain has authorized the formation of further all-female squadrons.
"Furthermore, I am authorized to issue promotions to all of you to Sergeant, and to Tendo Akane and Kanzaki Shoko to the rank of Lieutenant, Second Class, and to Saotome Ranko to Major. Increase in pay grade for all these ranks is immediate and permanent."
This time, the cheers were deafening. Hayes stepped away from the front, and Ranko took her place.
"So much for the good news. Now for the bad. Mayor Luan has announced a beauty pageant to choose a Miss Macross. Also, we've been ordered to take three days R&R. Oh, and need I remind you that we've got most of the female talent on this ship tied up in this room alone? It wouldn't break my heart if Angel Squadron also took that prize."
Chuckles.
"Get out of here. Enjoy your leave."
The pilots filed out of the room, and Lisa crumpled.
"Did that sound as insipid and stupid to you as it did to me?"
"Well, you were blowing your own horn a bit, but other than that..."
"Thanks." She grimaced. "I hate addressing crowds. As to your own ramblings...If I were you, I'd expect some backlash on the 'female talent' line."
* * * * *
"Well, you heard what the Major said, right? She wants one of us to enter the beauty pageant, right?"
Akane frowned at Shoko. "You're not thinking of making me enter, are you?"
"No...Nothing that nice. I was thinking of entering Captain Saotome."
Akane grinned. "I like this plan..."
* * * * *
The door to the White Dragon slammed open, and the bandannaed, backpack-carrying individual framed in the doorway bellowed, "WHERE THE HELL AM I NOW?"
Minmei looked up in surprise at the intruder. He was dressed in a yellow sweater and green pants, and carried a red bamboo umbrella. "Why, you're in the White Dragon Restaurant, home of the best Chinese cuisine in Macross City."
"Macross City? You mean this isn't Nerima?"
Minmei blinked.
"Where can I find Saotome Ranma?"
"Yo, you looking for me?"
The stranger turned towards Ranma, who was just standing up near the Skull Squadron table, and raised the umbrella.
"Ranma! Prepare to die!"
"Huh?"
Ranma jumped backwards as the stranger brought his umbrella down on the table, demolishing it completely. Fokker, Kramer and Hunter, who were sitting with Ranma, stared at the remains of their favourite table. As one, they turned their gaze to Ranma's attacker.
"Um...Sorry?"
* * * * *
Fokker dropped the badly bruised stranger into a chair, then passed a fifty dollar bill to Minmei. "Sorry about the other four tables."
Ranma sat down opposite his erstwhile opponent. "Now. You wanna explain why it is that you attacked me?"
The stranger glared at him. "Curse you, Ranma. Because of your cowardice, I HAVE SEEN HELL!"
Fokker interrupted the stranger's lunge, by simply pulling him back down into the chair. "You better have at least a halfway decent story, punk. Nobody accuses a Skull of cowardice. At least, not twice. Who the hell is this guy, kid?"
Ranma studied the stranger. "I'm not really sure. He seems familiar..."
"Just answer me this, Ranma. Why did you run out on our man to man fight?"
Ranma snapped his fingers. "Hibiki Ryouga! How are ya, man?"
"So you do know him."
"Yeah, Ryouga and I were in junior high school together for about a year before my father and I went off on another training trip. I used to help him find his way to school."
"Ah...Find his way...?"
"Yeah. Poor guy's got no sense of direction at all."
"And what about this man to man fight?"
"Well, I waited three days at the appointed place..."
Ryouga snorted. "Oh, sure. But by the time I got there on the fourth day, you'd already turned tail and run!"
"Ryouga, why did it take you four days to get to the vacant lot behind your house?"
"WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO-"
Fokker pushed Ryouga back into his chair. "I'd advise you to calm down, sir. Now then. It seems to me that you defaulted on your little fight. As Saotome's commanding officer, I am hereby ordering him to accept victory in that fight. And I am ordering YOU to accept your loss."
"But you aren't my commanding officer. You can't order me to do anything."
"You wanna go another round?"
Ryouga looked at the four jet jockeys standing around him. Kramer cracked his knuckles in his palm and grinned at Ryouga.
It was not a nice grin.
"All right, fine. I accept my loss in that fight. But that's not all you have to pay for, Ranma. After you left, I followed you all the way to China!"
"Oh, no. Don't tell me you went to Jushenkyo."
"You mean he's got a curse like yours?" Fokker grinned. "Too bad, huh?"
"Maybe, but maybe not. I mean, Pop's cursed too, but he don't change into no girl. He changes into a panda."
Roy guffawed. "So what about you, little boy? What do you change into?"
Kramer grabbed a glass of water. "One way to find out, eh, Roy?"
Ryouga looked at the glass, then burst out of Roy's grip.
"Get him!"
Ryouga jumped over the counter and ran into the kitchen. The pilots followed him.
"Where the hell did he go?"
The kitchen was empty. Nobody noticed the yellow sweater and green pants in one corner.
Roy shrugged. "Well, his backpack and umbrella are still here. He'll be back."
* * * * *
"You're joking! Please, tell me you're kidding about this!"
Ranma, Akane and Shoko were seated in the Angel Squadron's off-duty lounge. Akane had just dropped the Miss Macross application on the coffee table in front of Ranma.
"Nope. Sorry, Ranko. You wanted someone in our squadron to enter the contest. Looks like you got the tap."
"Forget it! I'm not doing it! I'm a guy, dammit!"
Akane poked one of her breasts. "You don't look much like a guy at the moment."
Ranma grabbed his thermos and upended it over his head.
"Hmm, your thermos seems to be empty." Shoko smirked. "I wonder how that could have happened?"
Ranma cursed and cast aside the thermos. "Just forget it. There is no way you're gonna make me do this. Why don't you sign up, Shoko? I know why Akane isn't."
"Oh? And why is that, Ranma?"
"Because there's no way you'd win-"
-THUMP-
Akane grinned as she set down the large mallet. "All right, I'll make you a deal. We both sign up. Whoever wins gets squadron lead for a week."
"Hmm...Not like it'd be a transfer of command, just lead in all exercises...You got a deal!"
"Hey, for that kind of deal, I'll sign up as well." Shoko grinned. "It'd be nice to give you orders for a switch."
"Then it's settled." Akane dropped two more applications on the table. "Let's get these filled out. By the way, Ranma, my father wants you to come over for dinner tonight. I already explained to him about the curse."
"Joy."
"Well, don't sound so enthusiastic."
"Look, Akane, your dad really doesn't like me."
"Nonsense. He likes you just fine. Nabiki likes you too."
"Huh? When did I meet your sisters?"
"In the shelter. Remember? Kasumi was the one bandaging your head, and Nabiki was the one selling you the painkillers..."
"Oh. Right. Memory's a bit fuzzy about that time; musta been the mallet upside the head."
* * * * *
"Hold!"
Ranma stopped and looked over to the speaker. It was a tall man dressed in a blue gi jacket and black hakama. Slung over his back was a bokken.
"Something I can do for you?"
"You will address me as Major."
"Sorry, sir. How may I help you, Major?" Ranma avoided glancing down at his own rank insignia.
"I just noticed you leaving the Angel Squadron ready room."
Ranma glanced at the door he had just exited. "Yes, sir. There a problem with that?"
"Surely you know that the Angel Squadron is composed entirely of females?"
"Well, yes, that had crossed my mind..."
"Then why were you in there?"
"Why not?"
The man purpled. "Your insolence is completely unbecoming an officer. What is your name, knave?"
Ranma grinned. He was CERTAIN that he knew who this guy was. "Saotome Ranma. And you're Kuno Tatewaki, right?"
"You will address me as Major!"
"Why?" This time Ranma did glace down to his own insignia.
Kuno did not notice. "It is my rank, and you must show respect to those of higher station than yourself!"
"Well, since I am also a Major..."
"What?"
Kuno finally took the time to take in Ranma's insignia. The rank bars. The two rows of chicken guts. And the Skull Squadron patch.
"I...apologize. Please deliver this to the CO of the Angel Squadron."
Kuno handed the letter to Ranma and beat a hasty retreat.
* * * * *
"Hi, Minmei!"
"Hi yourself, Saotome! The usual?"
"Nope, just a couple of egg rolls today."
"Coming up." Minmei bounced into the kitchen. Ranma dropped into a chair at the Skull Squadron's table.
"So. Did Ryouga ever turn up again?"
"No. His pack and stuff is still behind the counter. Minmei even found a change of his clothes in the kitchen."
"He's probably in Kyoto by now."
Roy looked at Ranma oddly. "Uh, that would be a good trick, considering that Kyoto is on Earth."
"That won't slow him down. After all, I last saw him in Juuban."
"...Right. So how's your squadron coming along?"
Minmei set the egg rolls in front of Ranma, then went to serve another customer.
"Seems you were right about female pilots. My crew is shaping up to be the best on the ship."
Roy snorted. "Not as long as the Skull is still around."
"Okay, the best except for Skull. But considering that they outflew Green on our last exercise, I'd say Kramer's napping."
"You don't wanna say that to his face. But yeah, I've seen your girls fly. They're shit hot."
The bell rang as the door to the restaurant opened, and Kuno, this time in a flight suit, swaggered in and sat down.
Roy glared at him. "This table is property of the Skull Squadron, little man. I suggest you move."
"Never fear, Fokker. I am here for but a moment. Saotome, did you deliver my message?"
"Yeah, Kuno."
"Excellent. I was worried that one of your obvious low intellect might fail in that task."
Ranma ground his teeth.
"Kuno." Fokker motioned with his hand. "Move along. That seat is reserved for one Tendo Akane."
Kuno looked puzzled. "But Tendo Akane is a member of the illustrious Angel Squadron, not of your insignificant group."
Fokker scowled. "Move it or lose it, Kuno. Akane sits there because she's engaged to Ranma-"
"NANI?!"
Kuno jumped up with an expression of shock on his face.
"The beauteous Tendo Akane, engaged to the likes of...him?! I shall never allow it! Saotome, you cur, you must be punished!"
With one motion, Kuno drew his bokken and swung at Ranma. Ranma leaped straight up, and Kuno's bokken slammed into the table.
"This is no place to fight, Kuno. Follow me."
"That I shall!"
Ranma stepped outside the restaurant, followed by Roy and Kuno, and assumed a fighting stance. Kuno stood opposite him, bokken raised. Roy leaned up against the wall.
"Before we begin, Saotome, allow me to state my name and abilities, so that you will fully realize who it is that has defeated you. I am Major Kuno Tatewaki, newly appointed commander of the Blue Squadron, rising star of the Robotech Defense Force. My peers call me the Blue Thunder.
"And who are you?"
Ranma grinned. "I am a Saotome Ryuu of the Mutsabetsu Kakotu. My name is Major Saotome Ranma."
"Begin!"
Ranma feinted forward in a lunge punch, then swept his hand in a knife edge, snapping Kuno's bokken cleanly. Kuno gaped at his demolished weapon.
"Blew it."
One good quick kick to the head laid the other Major out colder than a mackerel.
"Nice shot, Ranma." Roy was applauding from the sidelines. "The MPs will be here to pick him up any second now."
"Why call the MPs? It was a man to man fight."
"Yeah, but he attacked an officer. Meaning you. Chances are he'll get off light, but it might teach him to keep a handle on his temper."
"Hm." Ranma pulled a piece of paper from a pocket on his flight suit, glanced at it, then crumpled it. "I guess I don't need to worry about this, then."
"What's that?"
"A letter of challenge. Addressed to, 'The Fierce but Lovely Commander of the Angel Squadron', end quote."
Roy grinned. "Yeah, just ignore it. Come on, your egg rolls are getting cold."
"Attention!"
The pilots in the wardroom fell silent and snapped to attention. Ranma picked up the glass of water from his desk and upended it over her head.
"The slingshot maneuver two weeks ago was successful enough that it shaved a month off of our overall travel time. The CO has decided that it's worth repeating.
"We are now approaching the planet Saturn. The Macross with attempt a slingshot of the planet. Since Saturn is much larger than Uranus, and has a correspondingly higher gravity, we should get a better boost from it. We will not be attempting this maneuver with Jupiter, as it is too far out of arc.
"Angel Squadron will be running interference for the slingshot. We'll be flying through the rings of Saturn. That means a lot of rocks. So look sharp out there. We'll be working in conjunction with Skull Squadron, Green Squadron and Blue Squadron-"
-SNAP-
"Something you want to add to this briefing, Lieutenant?"
Tendo Akane dropped the two pieces of her pencil. "No, sir."
Saotome grinned. "Don't worry, last I heard, Kuno's in the clink."
A chuckle went around the room. Most of the women present had had to fend off Kuno at one point or another.
"Right. Suit up and get ready to launch."
* * * * *
Corporal Amy Clark, Angel Two, finished her pre-flight, and began taxiing her fighter towards the catapults. Her suit was environmentally sealed, of course, which meant that there was no way for her to wipe the sweat off the palms of her hands. The Flight Net visual flickered, and the CO's helmeted face appeared in the monitor.
"Ready to party, Clark?"
"Uh...yeah. I mean, yes, ma'am."
"Nervous?"
"Ah...yes, ma'am."
"Good. This is your first real battle. Stay nervous; it'll help keep you alive. Just remember, though: Your best friend is your jet. Trust in the bird, and it will not let you down." The CO chuckled. "Don't worry, Clark. The odds are really against our running into bad guys. Skull has a further perimeter to patrol than us, so any aliens that want to party will hit their pickets first."
"Ah...thanks, ma'am."
"Oh, and by the way. Your simulator scores showed a lot of improvement, and your handling of the bird has come a long way. Of the entire team, you've shown the most improvement overall. So I've put myself on your wing for this sortie."
"Ma'am, do you mean I'm wing commander for this sortie?"
"Yep. I'm retaining flight and squadron leader, but I am on your wing, and not the other way around. So don't disappoint me, got it?"
"Yes, ma'am!"
Ranma clicked off the Tac Net and grinned to herself. What she hadn't told Clark - and wouldn't, not now and not ever - was that the wingman took the majority of the beating in a real firefight. Clark had improved, but was nowhere near as good as Akane or even Kanzaki. But Ranma recognized that she could improve still further, especially after being blooded.
~I just gotta give her a chance to keep on improvin'.~
The Tac Net squawked on audio. "Angel One, Macross. Your flight has been demoted to Alert One Status. Clear the catapults."
Ranma scowled. The voice was that of Lieutenant Grant, commo officer and second officer of the Macross. Ranma slapped open the Tac Net command channel. "Macross, Angel One. What the hell is going on?"
"Angel One, Macross. Skull Squadron has reported contact with alien battle pods in the rings of Saturn. Blue is now scrambling to intercept, on orders of Colonel Maistroff."
Ranma growled. Maistroff was a Ground Forces Colonel, not actually part of RDF Chain of Command at all. "And where the hell is Commander Hayes? Why is a GooF officer directing this operation?"
"Angel One, Macross. Commo protocol, Angel One. Commander Hayes is not available at this time."
Ranma cursed, then opened the net. "Macross, Angel One. Angel Squadron confirms Alert One. Blue Leader, this is Angel One. Good Hunting."
"Angel One, Blue Leader. My thanks to thee, pigtailed goddess."
"HUH? Kuno, thought you were off the flight list."
"Nay, though the evil Saotome thought to place me in an incriminating situation, the forces of law and order saw through his vile scheme and, recognizing my virtuous nature and skill in battle, returned me to active duty. Didst not that vile cur, Saotome Ranma of the thrice-cursed Skull Squadron, deliver my missive to thee? Thou didst not appear at the appointed time and place."
"Blue Leader, Macross. Get off the net and get airborne."
"Macross, Blue Leader. Hai."
* * * * *
Ranma jumped out of the Valkyrie's cockpit the moment she finished taxiing. She pulled off her helmet and stormed out of the hangar.
Commander Hayes met up with her at the hangar's hatch. "Major Saotome! Please, I need to tell you-"
"What the hell happened, Commander? Why were we pulled off the cats? And who the hell does Colonel Maistroff think he is? He violated chain of command! Why was he in command? Why was he even on the bridge? What could a Ground Forces Colonel possibly-"
"Atten-SHUN!"
Ranma involuntarily snapped to attention, and just as involuntarily shut up.
"Now then. I am not prepared to tell you why Maistroff was in command during your flight's duty. Sorry, but that information is classified. I will tell you, however, that it makes me sick. A mud-mover, commanding a ship of the line! Second, I don't know why he scrubbed your launch, so I can't tell you that either."
"Can't or won't?"
"I swear to you, Ranma, that if I knew, I would tell you, classified or no. But Maistroff did not give any reason for scrubbing your team."
"Damnit, Commander, my girls need the experience! They need combat time!"
Hayes scowled. "Are you that anxious to have your people killed?"
Ranma flushed. "No. But look. These girls have been trained and polished. They are a fighting team now, a damned good one. I'd put them up against Skull any day of the week. But you can only learn so much, can only get so good during peacetime operations. You know and I know that the only way we're gonna win this one, the only chance we have of getting home, is the Valkyrie pilots. You need every one you can get. And you got eighteen of them sittin' here doin' nothin'."
"Ranma, this bothers me as much as it does you, okay? Don't razz me on this one."
"Look, we were scrubbed. And that Uranus mission, we were slated for deep recon, and we got close patrol. This time, we got to be lawn ornaments. You scrub us again, and my girls are gonna get real mad. You tell this to whoever it is who puts these flight schedules together. You do this to us again, and your little project here is toast."
* * * * *
Ranma walked into the White Dragon, still in his female guise. She dropped into a chair at the Skull Squadron table. Skull was still out there, mopping up bandits and paving the road for the Macross, so for the moment, she had the table to himself.
Minmei walked over with a small teapot and set it down in front of Ranma.
"Huh? I didn't order tea."
"It's just hot water."
"Oh, thanks."
"No problem. Mind if I sit with you?"
"Go ahead."
Minmei sat down opposite him as she poured the contents of the teapot over her - now his - head.
"Whatcha doin'?"
Minmei had a pen in hand and a sheet of paper in front of her, and was scratching something out. "I'm writing a song. I've gotta have a talent to show off for the beauty pageant, and I always loved to sing."
"Yeah? I don't really sing much...used to a bit, though. Wait - you mean you're in this Miss Macross pageant?"
"Yes! I'm sure I can win!" Minmei beamed.
Ranma cracked a grin. "The girls in my squadron got funny on me. They signed me up in my female form."
"Well, don't worry. You aren't going to win."
"Gee, thanks."
The bells rang as the door to the restaurant opened. Ranma glanced up to see Kasumi, Akane's older sister, coming into the restaurant.
"Hi, Kasumi!"
"Hello, Ranma! I'm glad I found you here." Minmei hopped up and Kasumi took the seat across from Ranma. "I need to talk to you about your father."
"Oh, no. What's he done now?"
"Well, it seems he's insisting on moving into our house. We have a spare room now, since when the house was rebuilt, Akane got her own room. But now she stays at the barracks, and your father insists that he should get that room."
"Stupid old man. Let me deal with him."
"Thank you, Ranma."
"RANMA! Prepare to die!"
Ranma's head swiveled fast enough to give him whiplash, to see Hibiki Ryouga approaching, umbrella on high. He jumped up and kicked the umbrella out of Ryouga's hand.
"Damnit, Ryouga, Kasumi's not a martial artist. You got a problem with me, we can take it outside."
"Fine! Your days of running are over, Ranma!"
* * * * *
The two combatants faced each other in the middle of the street outside the White Dragon. Minmei and Kasumi stood at the door of the restaurant.
"Now, Ranma, you'll pay for making my life a living hell!"
"Yeah, whatever, Ryouga. Let's go."
Ryouga launched himself into the air, aiming the tip of the umbrella at Ranma's head. Ranma dodged the attack, then launched a series of snap-kicks at Ryouga's torso. Ryouga blocked most of them, but Ranma felt at least two solid hits connect. He followed up with two snap-punches to the head.
Ryouga collapsed backward, falling onto the road. Ranma dusted off his hands.
"That's that."
"Not so fast, Ranma."
"Huh?"
Ranma watched in amazement as the Lost Boy staggered back to his feet. "I am not yet defeated." Ryouga pulled off his bandanna - revealing another underneath - and snapped it in his hand. The bandanna stiffened, becoming a cloth blade. Ryouga threw the bandanna, spinning, at Ranma's head.
"Yow!" Ranma dodged the bandanna, then felt another wrap around his wrist. He looked down, and saw that the second bandanna had a rope attached. Ryouga was just finishing tying the rope to his own wrist.
"Now you won't be running anymore."
"Are you nuts?" Ranma jumped towards Ryouga, foot extended. Ryouga parried, then swung his massive umbrella at Ranma. Ranma dodged, and was amazed to see the umbrella smash through a concrete lamppost. He kicked the umbrella, and watched it go flying across the road.
Ryouga pulled off three more bandannas, and sent them whirling towards Ranma. Ranma dodged them, then to his horror realized that Minmei and Kasumi lay in their path.
"You two! Move, quick!"
Even as he yelled, the girls were scattering. The bandannas embedded themselves into the front of the restaurant.
"All right! That's it!"
Ranma closed quickly, and lashed out with fist, elbow and knee. Ryouga staggered back, gasping for air, and collapsed. Ranma untied the rope at his wrist, then walked over and picked up Ryouga, slamming him against the restaurant wall.
"You get this straight, Lost Boy. You can attack me, or any member of the RDF. We can take care of ourselves. Roy and Kramer proved that but good. But don't EVER attack those girls, or anyone like them, as long as I'm around. And I wouldn't recommend doin' it if there's any other soldiers around. Got it, numbskull?"
Ryouga nodded, hate smouldering in his eyes.
"Fine." Ranma dropped him, then turned back towards the restaurant door. "I'm starved. You girls want anything?"
"Oi, oyaji!" Ranma banged on the door of the apartment. "We gotta talk!"
The door opened, and Genma looked out. "What do you want?" he snapped.
"Hey, what's eatin' you?"
"What's eating me is that you have not come to visit me, have in fact ignored me and missed a great deal of practice, ever since you joined the RDF. And I know that the only reason you have for being here at this time is that Kasumi asked you to interfere on her behalf."
Ranma darked. "Look, oyaji, you got a place here, okay? RDF gives it to you, free of charge, even gives you meal tickets. I know that the twenty hours of community service has gotta really hurt you, since it means work, but-"
"Ranma! You have gone against your father's wishes in every way! You have abandoned the Art, betrayed your family, joined the army, and refused to honour your family's commitments!"
"Look! I have NOT abandoned the Art! I still practice every day, and I've been in a few battles and won handily every time! I have NOT betrayed my family! I'm just tryin' to help out the Tendos. They have enough problems without you. You yourself said that joinin' U. N. Spacy was okay. And what commitments exactly am I not honouring?"
"When do you intend to wed Tendo Akane?"
"Once both of us finish our tour of duty! Now that I've answered all your stinkin' questions, I gotta go."
"You going to the beauty pageant?"
"Yeah, and I only got another hour to register."
"...Register? Surely you are not entering the contest?"
"Well, yeah. Bit of a challenge, between me and my flight leaders."
"Ranma. Come inside for a moment. This is very important."
"Huh? Okay..."
Ranma walked into the apartment. He looked around - this being the first time he'd ever gone to his father's place. The room held a futon, a low table, and a few odds and ends. His father rummaged around in his old backpack, eventually producing a small wooden box. He opened the box, pulled out a scroll, and handed it to Ranma.
"Read this."
Ranma unrolled the scroll - it was fairly yellowed, but not particularly old. "'I, Saotome Genma, being of sound mind and body' - yeah, right - 'do hereby take solemn oath to raise my son, Saotome Ranma, to be a true master of the Saotome School of Indiscriminate Grappling, and a man among men, to be judged by Saotome Nodoka, and also swear that should I fail, both myself and Ranma shall give our lives in apology for our failure.'"
The scroll was signed by Genma, and also held a small handprint.
"Who's Saotome Nodoka? An Elder of the Clan?"
"Not exactly. She's your mother."
"...my mother? My MOTHER? You told me she was dead!"
"Well, she's not. Now you think about this. If you enter this contest - as a girl! - and your mother hears about it, what's she gonna think?"
* * * * *
"Now what if none of us win this? How do we determine who won the bet?"
"Don't worry, Akane. One of us is gonna win for sure."
"There! I'm signed in. Ranko, your turn."
Ranma scrawled in her name, date of birth and age, then signed the disclaimer.
"But if one of us doesn't?"
"Look, Akane, there'll be five finalists, and there's only thirty contestants. All five finalists are rated by the end of this thing. If by some disaster none of us make it into the finals, then we'll have a problem. And as long as you didn't choose cooking for the talent portion-"
-WHAM-
"Beg pardon, Ranko?"
"Never mind. Uncute tomboy-"
-WHAM-WHAM-WHAM-
"Boy," mused Shoko. "It's a good thing she heals fast."
* * * * *
The pageant was rather small compared to similar earth-bound events. This was not only because of the small population of Macross, and the correspondingly small number of contestants, but also because of the lower available resources. Mayor Luan had pulled out most of the stops for this event, however, and there was a good-sized amphitheatre - known as the Star Bowl - built for the contest, capable of seating twenty thousand people. And almost certainly, the forty thousand that couldn't fit were watching the event at home on their television sets.
There were five events. The first was evening wear. Each girl was required to pick out an evening gown and would be judged by that as much as by her appearance. Ranma had little to no clue how to proceed, but in exchange for getting Genma off of the Tendo's backs, Kasumi had helped him out a bit. Lessons on appropriate clothing, use of makeup and so on...Ranma shuddered as he considered his discussion with his father. If his mother EVER heard about this...
The girls had a common dressing room, but each girl had her own cubicle to change in. Ranma looked over the competition as he entered. Among them were some familiar faces: Lin Minmei, of course, and a gaijin woman named Jan Arden. Jan did the morning television news show, "Good Morning, Macross!" He had to admit, she was quite good looking, even though she was in her thirties. And of course, Shoko and Akane were there, as well as Tendo Nabiki.
"Yo, Nabiki, why are you in this thing?"
She smiled coyly. "What's the matter, Ranko? Don't think I have what it takes to win?"
"Well...I just thought it wouldn't be your style, y'know?"
"Well, just think of the prize money..."
"Right, I understand."
Among those that he didn't recognize were a tall, auburn-haired gaijin woman, a japanese woman whose spiky hair was dyed cyan, and whose eyes looked disturbingly feline, a teenaged japanese girl he remembered seeing at the temple - very beautiful, with red highlights in her long black hair - and another girl in U. N. Spacy uniform - very cute, freckle-faced and bespectacled, though she was just unpacking her contacts. Could be a contender...
"Could you possibly leer at them any more, Ranko?"
"Huh?" Ranma glanced at Akane, who was looking at him smoulderingly. "Whaddaya mean, leering? I'm just sizing up the competition."
"I don't see you sizing me and Shoko up."
"I see you guys every day. Get a grip, willya?"
Then Ranma spotted another girl he recognized. Long hair, with two balls on either side, a red silk cheongsam..."Oh, no..."
"You! Outsider girl! You die!"
The chinese girl lunged towards Ranma, hands raised to strike. Ranma dodged, grabbed an arm, and slammed her to the ground.
"Look, Shampoo, you're never gonna beat me, got it? Quit tryin'."
"One day, I catch you not looking, then you die." She blinked. "You in contest?"
"Huh? Yeah, why?"
Shampoo smirked. "Then I win here, you die. You win, I stop trying to kill. Is fair?"
"I guess, if you really want it that way..."
"Fine. Xian Pu need get ready now."
She bounced back through the crowd of girls.
"Who was that?"
Ranma sighed. "As best I can say it, her name is Shampoo. Pop and I went through her village after we left Jushenkyou, and I ended up fighting against her. Since then, she's been chasing me all over the world. I thought she'd lost me when I joined U. N. Spacy. At least, I haven't seen her since then."
"She sure is cute. You better hope you don't lose, Ranko."
"Cute? She's trying to kill me!"
"Well, I gotta go get ready for the contest." She leaned over and whispered in his ear. "You peek at ANY of us while we're changing, and you won't have to worry about Shampoo killing you, got it, pervert?"
"H-Hai."
* * * * *
"Next is Saotome Ranko, age nineteen. Born in Nerima and raised to a life of martial arts, Ranko joined the U. N. Spacy at age sixteen and rose through the ranks until she became commander of the newly formed Angel Squadron."
~Thank the Kami for my balance training,~ mused Ranma as she made her entrance. She was wearing a grey strapless gown, a little more severe than most of the other contestants. As she had been coached, she walked the length of the runway, turned around a complete 360, then walked back up the runway. ~Damn high heels - How the heck do girls walk in these things anyway?~ She flashed a big smile across the crowds as she took her place next to Arden in the line-up at the end of the stage. The announcer - Vance Hasslewood - walked up to her, microphone in hand.
"Ranko, can you tell the panel of judges about your views of women in the military?"
Ranma paused. "Well, I think that some of the most skilled people in the RDF are female. I mean, only about ten percent of the RDF is female, but those ten percent are all in the top twenty five percent in their fields. The best soldier I know is female. I'm not gonna name names, though - she might be my CO. Or worse yet, she might not."
A laugh ran through the crowd at that.
* * * * *
Lisa Hayes, watching the show from the bridge, chuckled at the screen. "Either way, Saotome, you're toast."
* * * * *
After the first two events, the line of girls filed off the stage. Ranma sighed in relief as he pulled off the high heels. Fifteen girls had gotten dropped from the competition, between the evening wear and the vocal event. Among those dropped were the cyan-haired woman with the disturbing eyes, the auburn-haired gaijin, and the U. N. Spacy Ensign - Sammie Porter. Shoko and Minmei were still in, as were both Tendo sisters.
"Hey, Ranko! I didn't know you could sing that well!" Minmei bounced over and hugged Ranma quickly. Ranma glanced nervously at Akane, but luckily she was looking elsewhere.
"Yeah...I kinda spent a lot of time singing on the road. Makes the day shorter, y'know?"
"Yep! Gotta get ready for the next event!" She bounced off again.
Ranma sighed. The next event was the talent portion. She knew Minmei would be singing again - this time a song that she had written herself. Akane would also be singing, Shoko would be dancing - a good choice for the energetic pilot - and she had no idea at all what Nabiki had planned. Ranma reached for her gi.
* * * * *
The gi was all red silk, and billowed at the cuffs of both arms and legs. Ranma doubted she'd ever wear something so...flamboyant...in a real fight, but she had to admit that it allowed her considerably more freedom of movement than her usual heavy cotton gi. The jacket of the gi reached almost to her knees, and was belted with a wide black obi. On her feet were dark red slippers, specially made with treaded rubber soles for traction.
Vance Hasslewood was hassling her again. "Ranko, why don't you tell us what you have planned for us?"
"Well, most of my life has been spent practicing martial arts. I've studied aikido, kempo, goju and shotokan karate and jiu jitsu, as well as my family's style of Musabetsa Kakotou, or as I call it, Anything Goes. Most people think of martial arts as violent. But I've found that it can be an art beyond the martial. A well-executed kata is a thing of beauty. So I've put together a kata, involving elements of jiu jutsu, aikido and the Musabetsa Kakotou, set to music."
"Martial arts dancing?"
"Yeah...I guess you could call it that."
"Great! The stage is yours!"
Hasslewood moved quickly out of her way, and Ranma grinned. Did he really think she was going to pound him or something?
She assumed a ready position - not an easy one, but she held it - then reached to her center and found her inner balance. The music she had chosen began - a rearrangement of Pink Floyd's "Echoes", purely instrumental. She held the ready position all through the opening bars, then began to move.
If performed at full speed, this kata would take approximately three minutes to complete. She did it extremely slowly - she had twenty minutes of song to fill. Her movements were graceful, even and measured, one flowing into another. Her feet rarely left the ground, and most of the kata was carried by her hands.
The music picked up in tempo, entering a bass guitar solo, and her kata flowed into a jiu jitsu routine. Now it included punches and kicks, delivered with precision and panache. Her eyes were completely closed, and she lost herself to the rhythm of the kata.
The bass solo faded out, and Ranma allowed her rhythm to slow, then stop. The next part of the song was mostly synth and whalesong. Her kata shifted back to a slow pattern again, drawing on aikido and tai chi. This portion, the Art was at its slowest - maneuvers that could be performed in under a second, stretched out as long as half a minute in spaces. It was also the portion requiring the most concentration and stamina, as holding the positions could be quite painful.
The final part of the song began, similar to the first, and Ranma switched back to the Musabetsa Kakotou. The finale was thunderous, and faded swiftly to silence, leaving Ranma in the ready stance she had started in.
Then the applause from the audience was thunderous. Ranma straightened, then bowed towards them before exiting the stage.
* * * * *
Again Ranma was strutting her stuff up and down the runway. Her bathing suit was a pink one-piece, cut high at the legs and low at the neck, with flower-like lacework along the front. She and Kasumi had spent almost three hours arguing about this one. Even though the final choice was a compromise, it still gave her cavities just to look at the damned thing.
She glanced at the other contestants. Only ten girls were left, five additional (including Nabiki) having been dropped during the talent portion of the contest. She doubted that Shoko would last another round, and guessing how...modest...Minmei's bathing suit was, she'd probably be disappearing right soon.
Akane's suit was equally modest...but she filled it out quite nicely...
* * * * *
"And now, our five finalists, in alphabetic order...
"Jan Arden, anchorwoman on 'Good Morning, Macross!'"
Considerable cheers greeted Jan as she crossed over and sat in the first seat in Finalist's Row. Jan was quite popular on the Macross, and tuning into her show was often the first thing that most people did upon waking up in the morning. Ranma knew; for her, "Good Morning, Macross!" was second only to that first cup of coffee.
"Lin Minmei, of the famous White Dragon Restaurant!"
The cheers were deafening; the White Dragon was, quite literally, the heart of the rebuilt Macross City, and Minmei was already sweetheart of the ship. She bounced out to Finalist's Row, blowing kisses to the crowd.
"Saotome Ranko, commanding officer of the Angel Squadron!"
She grinned as she made her way out to her seat. Her own cheering section was quite vocal, including the entire fighter complement of the Macross.
"Tendo Akane, also from the Angel Squadron!"
Akane's cheering section was the same as Ranma's. Akane beamed at the crowd, and walked down to her seat. Ranma leaned over.
"Gonna lose points on your entrance. Y'know this, right?"
"Shut up. Shoko's out of it."
"Yep. Wonder who's left?"
"And finally, Xian Pu, of the Niuchezu Tribe of China!"
Shampoo bounced across the stage, waved to the crowd, then dropped into her seat. Ranma was seriously worried about the amount of cheers she was receiving; Shampoo was a cipher. All of the other girls had something backing them up, either in the RDF or in Macross City. Shampoo had made it this far on innate ability.
"As explained in the rules of the contest, the panel of judges will now ask each finalist a question. Each question will be different for each finalist, and each finalist will have no more than five minutes to deliver her answer. Then you, the audience, both here in the stadium and watching from your homes, will lock in your votes. Are the judges ready?"
Th panel of judges was made up of five people: Thomas Luan, mayor of Macross City; Henry Gloval, who looked like he'd really rather be somewhere else; Mark Kramer; and two other people Ranma didn't recognize. One of those rose and addressed Hasslewood.
"We are ready. The first question goes to Jan Arden. In your mind, what problems do the youth of Macross City face above and beyond those faced by young people growing up on Earth?"
Jan stood and picked up her microphone. "I think that the problems faced by the young people of the Macross community are no different from those faced by children of Earth. While our situation is precarious, so are those of countless children in, say, the old Soviet Union, in Thailand or any other third world country.
"We have developed here a complete community, a microcosm of Earth. We have malls, we have restaurants, we have television and radio stations and we are even preparing to begin filming movies. Our culture has remained the same, even through all our trials. All that is different is the scale."
Jan sat back down, looking mightily pleased with herself. Ranma shook her head absently. ~Blew it.~
The second panelist stood. "This question is for Lin Minmei. Would you please tell us your views on competition?"
Minmei looked thoughtful. "I think that competition is what spurs us on to accomplish bigger and better things. It gives us drive, and pushes us on. I mean, if you're competing against someone else, like for instance the talent portion of this contest, you know that you have to give it your all, because if you don't deliver your best, someone else may deliver just one step better.
"Now I know that too much competition is a bad thing. I mean, if you let it control your life, you can get very bitter, because too often, there IS someone better than you. But if you keep a healthy attitude, and keep your perspective intact, you can easily make your competitive spirit a good thing."
Ranma grinned. ~Girl's deeper than she acts at times. Still, that wasn't really well thought out. She better have some points saved up from earlier on...~
Mark Kramer stood, with an evil grin on his face. "This question's for Ranko Saotome. Why don't you tell us about your views on love?"
~You're a dead man, Kramer.~
Ranko nervously stood and picked up the microphone. She could feel Akane's eyes burning into her.
"Personally, I think love is the most important thing anyone can have. It's a catalyst. Any bad situation can be improved upon with a generous dose of it, and any good situation made that much nicer.
"But it's a give and take situation as well. If neglected, it can wither. If stressed, it can break. But if nurtured and returned, it can grow."
She sat back down and shook her head slightly. ~Man, was that lame!~
Henry Gloval stood. "This question is for Tendo Akane. We have already asked your commanding officer her views on women in the military. Can you tell us of your view of the future of women on the battlefield?"
Akane grinned. "I think that women can be just as good in the battlefield as men, and I think we're going to see a lot more women going to combat positions. The Angel Squadron proved that many of the women in non-combat positions were unhappy with these postings, and not only had the desire, but the ability to serve in a combat position. Personally, I think that the Angel Squadron, which has consistently out-performed almost every other squadron on this ship, proves that we have what it takes."
Akane's answer was the only one so far to provoke any applause from the crowd. It was light and scattered, but it was there.
Tommy Luan stood. "This last question is for Shampoo." Ranma grinned at the man's mispronounciation. "Can you tell us your views on happiness?"
Xian Pu stood and picked up her microphone carefully. "Xian Pu know that happiness is something not always there. When it there, must enjoy to fullest. When not there, must work to make it. Can always make happiness if know how; but must want it." She set down the microphone and took her seat.
Vance Hasslewood stepped forward. "Now comes the voting. For those of you in the audience, you'll find a small box with five numbered buttons. Press the button corresponding to the finalist you wish to vote for. For you folks at home, dial the number on your screen, enter your ID code, then press the number of the finalist you vote for. You have five minutes to vote."
Ranma snickered. She leaned over to Akane. "We had five minutes to speak, and I don't think this'll take any longer than any one of us took. Bets?"
"Nope."
Sure enough, the technicians announced fifty thousand returns - this being the cutoff threshold - within two minutes. The head technician delivered the results to Hasslewood in a sealed envelope. Vance made a great production out of opening the envelope and removing the results.
"Here we go! In the number four position...Tendo Akane."
There was light applause, mostly from the RDF contingent. Akane sulked. "Guess you get to go on being Squadron Commander."
"Guess so."
"In the number three position...Xian Pu."
More applause. Xian Pu visibly wilted, then glanced sadly over to Ranma.
"In the number two position...Saotome Ranko."
Ranma shrugged and grinned. At least he beat out Xian Pu. Heck, she never wanted to win this thing anyway. She eyeballed the remaining two contestants.
"And the winner of the Miss Macross Beauty Pageant..."
Ranma noted Jan Arden, half rising, ready to take the prize...
"Lin Minmei!"
Minmei squealed and launched herself from her chair, running forward to hug Hasslewood. Ranma grinned, watching her, then glanced back over to Jan.
Her eyes were following Minmei, smouldering with rage.
* * * * *
Ranma and Akane had just left the Star Bowl when Xian Pu dropped down in front of them. She fell at Ranma's feet.
"Xian Pu fail. Outsider female defeat mightiest Niuchezu warrior again. Xian Pu have no honour left. No can return to tribe again.
"Please...kill Xian Pu."
Ranma sighed. "I'm not gonna kill you, Shampoo."
"Then Xian Pu take own life in apology."
"I can't let you do that either, Shampoo. Please, can you tell me why you're doing all this?"
"Is Amazon Law. If outsider female defeat Niuchezu warrior, that female must die."
"And if that outsider is a male?"
Ranma lifted her thermos, and dumped it over her head, transforming into a male.
Xian Pu looked up with shock in her eyes.
"Is true? Ranko really man?"
"Yeah, and the name's Ranma, not Ranko. You gonna stop trying to kill me now? And you're not gonna kill yourself? ACK!"
Xian Pu had launched herself in a full Amazon Glomp (tm).
"Niuchezu Law say if outsider male beat Niuchezu warrior, he marry her!"
"WHAT?!"
Akane grabbed Ranma's collar. "Ranma! You better explain this right away!"
"I don't know anything about it, okay?"
Xian Pu released Ranma. "Xian Pu go tell Hibachan we married. Is okay?"
"No! It's not! We're not married, Shampoo!"
But the Amazon was already bouncing off. Ranma wilted.
"I hate my life...I hate my life..."
Within the bowels of the alien flagship, a scientist entered the fleet commander's ready room. The alien commander, a massive individual whose face was partially covered with a metal plate, glanced up at the scientist.
*My Lord, our recon ship has returned with recordings of the Micronian transmissions. From this, we have managed to reprogram our translation devices. We will now be able to address them in one of their own languages.*
*How prevalent is this language you have deciphered?*
The gnomish alien scratched his chin. *We have cause to believe that it is the dominant language not only of the Micronians within the Battle Fortress, but of the majority of those on the planet's surface.*
*Excellent work, Exedore. We can now convince them of the folly of resisting our might. Call up the Fifth Botoru Battalion.*
*Excellency, are you sure this is wise? The commander of the Fifth is quite unstable...*
*Immediately.*
*Yes, My Lord.*
* * * * *
Ranma dropped into his seat at the White Dragon. The table was not actually Skull property anymore; it had sort of converted into "their table." While Roy was still CO of Skull, and the other three pilots normally at the table - Kramer, Saotome and Hunter - were all ex-Skull members, the latter three all had their own commands. Ranma commanded the Angel Squadron, reporting directly to Commander Hayes; Kramer still had command of Green; Rick had just been promoted to command of Vermilion. Never mind that Vermilion had been completely mangled in the attack near Saturn; Rick had two brand new pilots under his command, and was expected to rebuild the unit.
~Pretty tall orders for a Lieutenant, even one who's as shit-hot a pilot as Rick.~
Commander Hayes, two orders envelopes in hand, walked up to the table. "Hi, boys. Mind if I join you?"
Roy shrugged. "You outrank all of us, ma'am."
"True." She pulled up a chair, then tossed the envelopes on the table. "One for you, Roy, and one for Mark."
Roy pulled out his orders, scanned them, and started chewing his lip. "Hey, Kramer. What did you pull?"
Kramer was frowning. "Command of Skull. How 'bout you?"
"Oh, nothin' much. Just a promotion to Major, as well as CAG for Promotheus."
"HUH?"
"My sentiments exactly." Roy dropped the envelope on the table. "Ma'am, want to explain this? Since when did Promotheus rate its own CAG?"
"There are now twelve squadrons operating solely off of the Promotheus, as well as six off of the Daedalus and eighteen off of the Macross itself. It was the decision of Colonel Maistroff that one CAG was insufficient to manage thirty-six squadrons. So he's divided the RDF Air Division into three commands. Colonel Tendo will be taking the Daedalus command. You're getting the Promotheus command."
"And who gets the Macross Command?"
She sighed heavily. "Colonel Maistroff." She produced a third envelope and tossed it to Ranma. "This is your squadron's orders."
"You got a squadron, Ranma?"
"Yeah, Rick, it's a long story. And I think he needs to know, Commander. I'll fill him in later." Ranma tore open his orders packet and glanced through them.
"Hey, Roy."
"Yeah?"
"My squadron's been transferred to your command, and you're losing Sepia to Tendo."
"Really?" Roy grinned. "You won't be getting away with any of that crap you could pull under Commander Hayes."
The ship tilted weirdly, and the lights flickered. Ranma was jolted right out of his seat. He wasn't alone in this; both Fokker and Kramer looked less than comfortable in the angles they found themselves bent into, and Rick was nearly knocked cold. Lisa was also knocked sprawling, but she recovered and ran from the room.
Roy struggled to his feet. "Damn, that was a really solid hit. Wonder what it was?"
"Dunno." Ranma seated himself, then glanced at his now-unrecoverable dinner. "But two gets you five we'll be paged in the next five minutes."
"Commander Hayes to the bridge. Major Fokker and Major Saotome to the ready room. Lieutenants Hunter, Kanzaki and Tendo to the ready room."
"No bet, Saotome. Let's go."
* * * * *
"Five minutes ago, the aliens attacked the ship. A single mecha, of a type previously uncatalogued, came in fast and hard and struck the primary radar boom and the sensor array. This has left the Macross blind in the middle of transiting the asteroid field.
"Two minutes after hitting the sensor array, the enemy transmitted the following message."
Gloval pressed the play button on the tape recorder.
"This is the commander of the Zentraedi Second Botoru Battallion. The last attack was a warning. We have sufficient firepower to destroy your ship and your home planet. Surrender the battle fortress and we shall allow you to survive. You have one hour to comply."
Roy leaned back. "So now we know what they call themselves."
"Yes. It is my decision to send a Cat's Eye Recon jet forward to find us a safe way out of the asteroid field. I am detailing Vermilion Squadron for escort, and Angel Squadron for backup. You'll be on the cats, six at a time. Understood?"
"Sir!"
"Good! Dismissed."
Roy hopped to his feet. "Come on, ladies. Time to rumble. Ranma, better change."
"Yes, Sir!" Ranma grabbed a glass of water from the table and dumped it over his head, giving Rick a very bad case of bug eyes. "Angel, suit up. Flight One will go on cats first, followed by Three."
Roy glanced over. "Why not Two up second?"
"Two had last patrol on our last duty cycle."
"Ah."
"How...what...He's a girl!"
"Later, Hunter. Right now, you've got a job to do."
* * * * *
"This is Cat's Eye. We are under attack by approximately fifty Zentraedi mecha. Please assist."
Ranma shot forward. "Lisa! What the hell is she doin' in that recon bird?"
"As you were, Angel Lead. Angel Flight One, Macross. Launch and intercept Zentraedi mecha."
"Macross, Angel Flight One, Wilco. Flight One, Lead. Go!"
Ranma pushed the throttle all the way open on the fighter, then flagged the cat chief. She was smashed back into her seat by the force of the catapult accelerating her fighter from zero to four hundred klicks in three seconds. When her vision cleared, she thought the jet through a turn and formed up with the other five units of her flight.
Ranma growled as she lit her bird's afterburners.
~No-one's gettin' their claws on the CO!~
But they didn't get there on time. Ranma saw a flash of light ahead, then Cat's Eye's transponder dropped right off his scope.
"Baka! Macross, Angel Lead. Cat's Eye has vanished. Repeat, Cat's Eye has vanished. And I ain't gettin' returns on any of Vermilion either."
"Angel Lead, Macross. Affirm. We think we picked up a fold operation on scope."
"Lead, Three! I got bogeys closing on us!"
"Three, go evasive! Wings break. Two, you're wingleader. Let's get em!"
"Two."
Clark snapped her fighter around on a dime and thoroughly waxed a fighter pod, then shifted to Gerwalk. Her rifle barked three times, and three Zentraedi Battle Pods went up in smoke.
~Woah! Where did that come from?!~
Clark was all over the sky, shifting back and forth from Soldier to Gerwalk, and occasionally back to Fighter, bringing the autocannon, the head lasers or the forward lasers to bear on anything that moved. Ranma was hard pressed just to stay on her wing, and it was quickly becoming apparent that she didn't really need the assist.
"Angel Flight Two is up and inbound, Lead. ETA five minutes."
"Roger, Flight Two."
And a damned good thing, too. Between Clark and Saotome, the Zentraedi were taking a shit-kicking, but the humans were still outnumbered by four to one at best.
The rest of the wing were definitely making up for lost time as well. Ranma noted that Four - a quiet, mousy type named Hikaru - was performing particularly well, though spending most of her time in Gerwalk.
Then he noticed the cruiser bearing down on them.
"Macross, Angel Lead. There is a Zentraedi battlecruiser closing on your position, ETA three minutes. We can't hold that thing off, Macross!"
"Understood, Angel Lead. Just try to keep their Mecha busy. Angel Flight Three has just left the cats and is inbound on your location."
"Roger that, Macross."
"Three's hit! It's not too bad, but I can't shift."
"Understood, Three." Ranma checked the Tac Net. Three was stuck in Soldier Mode. "Can you extend your wings?"
"What control is that?"
"None - just visualize it."
"O-okay..."
As Ranma watched, Angel Three slowly cranked out her wings. They deployed jerkily, as if Three was having trouble interfacing with the Mecha.
"Three, are you hurt?"
"Bit of shrapnel in the leg, nothing serious."
"Bug out, Three."
"Aye."
It left her understrength, but second Flight was just arriving. And she also realized that it had become quiet. Could they actually have beaten the Zentraedi off?
"Hey, Major! Can we play?"
"Sure thing, Kanzaki. All right, listen up, First. That ship is ninety seconds outside of firing range of the Macross, and we've managed to mop up their Mecha screen. But you can bet they have more. But for now, we're gonna try to take out that cruiser. Lieutenant Tendo."
"Aye?" Angel Flight Three was still sixty seconds out.
"Meet us in the middle."
"Aye, ma'am!"
"Flight One, let's go!"
First and Second Flight, Angel Squadron, spun and began bearing down on the enemy battlecruiser. Most shifted to Gerwalk and began to matter-surf along the enemy ship's hull. Ranma tapped six targets into his battle computer - gun turrets, radar booms, whatever - and sent a cloud of missiles after them. To his left, Clark, still in Soldier Mode, but flying with wings extended, turned the rifle pod on target after target.
Ahead of them, Zentraedi in powered armour began to appear.
~Rat race? You want a rat race?~
"Targets ahead. Powered armour. Angel, shift to Soldier."
It was the same game Ranma had fought in Macross City, save that this time, it was fought among the alien projections and gun turrets of the Zentraedi battlecruiser. And this time, there were a lot more enemies. Three of Ranma's squadron disappeared from his scope as their mecha went up in fireballs.
And then Angel Three arrived on high, raining death on the Zentraedi with missiles, laser fire and depleted transuranic slugs. Ranma whooped, then patched into the Tac Net.
"Welcome to the front line! And just in time, too."
Claudia Grant clicked onto the Net. "Angel Squadron, disengage and move away from the target. We are beginning our attack run."
"Yes, ma'am!"
* * * * *
"Sir, we cannot complete modular transformation in the time remaining, and we can't fire the main gun if we don't!"
"I doubt we can fire the main gun anyway, Kim. Lisa and the Vermilions could be inside that thing. Signal all ahead full."
"WHAT? Uh, Aye, sir!"
Gloval sat back and watched the viewport as the enemy cruiser swelled in it.
~At least it's clearing the asteroids from our path!~
* * * * *
Ranma watched in amazement as the SDF-1 leapt forward at the enemy cruiser.
"He's gonna broadside it!"
The SDF-1 slipped below the Zentraedi battlewagon and began running down her length. Her secondary batteries, normally of too short a range to be bothered with, began hammering into the underbelly of the enemy ship. Massive steel slugs from the rail guns and bolts of energy from the converging-beam reflex cannons, as well as firepower from the MAC II Destroids on the ship's surface and long range missiles from its anti-aircraft batteries, all of it tearing into the mammoth five-kilometer-long cruiser.
The Zentraedi ship had no weaponry on the underside; all she could do was take the pounding. Macross slid out from under her, and began a slow turn. Ranma glanced at the Tac Net, and saw the assault shuttles leaving the Macross.
"Angel Squadron, let's give them some cover. Angel Lead to assault shuttle group. Suggest you hit the hangar deck."
"Angel, this is Ferryboat Lead. Care to give us an escort?"
"No problem."
The enemy cruiser was still reeling from the pounding that Macross had given her. It was launching no fighters or mecha, and Ferryboat was able to make an uncontested entry. The six shuttles opened up, and disgorged their cargo of Tomahawk and Spartan Destroids.
"Angel, form up around the shuttle. We're gonna do guard duty."
"Flight Two, Aye."
"Angel Flight Three. Aye."
Ranma shifted to Soldier Mode, and dropped down next to a shuttle, cannon pod at the ready.
"How are y'all doin' for ammo?"
"Two's got one clip and six missiles."
"Four's got one clip."
"Five's empty."
"Angel Flight Two has all pilots, one clip left, and eleven missiles among us."
"Angel Flight Three has all pilots, two clips left, and no missiles. We used them all pulling your asses out of the fire."
"Right. Flight Three, can you loan us a clip?"
Akane hooked one out of her Mecha's leg and tossed it across to Five. "Now you owe us two."
"Yeah, right. We'll settle it later. But for now, your Flight's name is Guardian. Eyes sharp, people."
But it proved unneccesary. The Destroid raid kept the enemy busy, and the Destroids themselves returned unhindered, though with a few holes in their ranks. The shuttles blasted off, and Angel formed up to escort them back to the Macross.
"Angel Lead, Ferryboat. Suggest we put on the gas. We left them a present behind there..."
* * * * *
Three Zentran clustered around the small barnacle-shaped device in the engine room. One of them activated his personal comm.
*My Lord. The Micronians appear to have...lost something. What should we do about it?*
The Zentraedi Commander frowned. *What is it?*
*We're not entirely certain. It is small, grey and round, and has a black patch with red marks on it. The marks keep changing.*
Another Zentran spoke up. *One of the sets of red marks has disappeared.*
The Zentran stared at the device, trying to make sense out of the markings.
4...
3...
2...
1...
* * * * *
Behind the Valkyrie flight, the cruiser suddenly erupted into a massive fireball.
"Kuso- Brace for shockwave!"
And then the mecha were tossed around like leaves on a summer hurricane. The shuttles fared worse, and as Ranma watched, one of them crumpled and exploded.
Then they were out of it, and it was smooth sailing all the way back home.
* * * * *
The noise level in the O-Club was rapidly approaching lethal levels. Most of the pilots on the Macross were nowhere near the fight - only Angel had been on the cats - but it was the first real victory won by Mecha. And the fourteen remaining pilots of Angel Squadron had rapidly discovered that they would not be permitted to buy their own beer. Period.
But Ranma wasn't in a celebratory mood. Shortly after the party began, she slipped out and headed for the White Dragon.
It was fairly late, and the White Dragon was mostly empty. In one corner, Ranma noticed Colonel Tendo and his eldest daughter, Kasumi. She shrugged, then went over.
"Hi. Can I join you?"
Kasumi beamed. "Of course, Ranma! Nabiki will be here soon, but there's still one seat."
"Thanks." Ranma dropped into the seat. "Hi, Colonel. How come you aren't at the party?"
"I could ask you the same thing, Major."
Max brought over a small kettle, and Ranma poured the hot water over herself, triggering the change. "Well, I didn't really see a point in celebrating. Angel is down four pilots, and we failed our mission." Too late, Ranma remembered Kasumi's presence. Tendo noticed his worried glance, and made a negative motion with his hand.
"Don't worry - you've not said anything that won't be on the news tomorrow. And since we're both off duty, let us treat each other not as officers, but as family."
"Yeah, okay."
Tendo grinned. "Much better. So tell me, when are you and Akane getting married?"
"Oh, man..."
Luckily for Ranma, Kasumi stepped in. "Now, Father, I don't think you should rush them into this. I mean, both of them have careers to think of. Oh, my! I never thought that Akane would join the army!"
"Hey, she's kickin' butt, Kasumi. She's one of my best pilots."
Tendo nodded. "And after this last battle, I imagine she'll be pushed to the top of the promotion list. She may make Senior Lieutenant in a month."
Kasumi tilted her head. "Does this mean I'll have to salute her?"
Ranma grinned. "Ah...no, Kasumi."
"Hey, Saotome." Nabiki walked up to the table. "You joining us for dinner?"
Ranma shrugged. "Why not?"
Nabiki sat down across from him. "I have some information you may want."
"Really? Do tell."
"Not so fast, Saotome. This information is kind of important and, as such, is going to set you back some cash. But seems how you're almost family, I'll let you have a discount. Two thousand yen, up front."
"What could be THAT important?"
"Do you want the information or not?"
"All right, all right! Here!" Ranma slid two bills across the table to Nabiki. "Now what's the information?"
"Four days from now is Akane's birthday."
"Gimme back my money, I coulda got that from her personnell dossier."
"True, but would you have even thought to look if I hadn't reminded you?" Nabiki slipped the cash into her pocket. "I figure that just telling you it was coming up was worth the two thousand. I threw in the exact day as a freebie."
"Yeah, whatever..."
"For an extra five thousand, I'll tell you what she wants."
"Forget it, I'll just guess."
Ranma bowed to the Tendo patriarch, backing out onto the street, and waited for the Colonel to close the door. He sighed and crumpled a bit, then began meandering back to the Bachelor's Officer Quarters.
"Oh, man. I shoulda just stayed at the O-Club. Who woulda thought that Tendo-oyajisan was a two fisted drinker...an' pushin the sake on me...an' goin' on about me an' Akane gettin' married..."
He was a bit intoxicated, he decided. Not wasted, not really even drunk, but definitely under the influence.
"Azzif I'm gonna marry that tomboy, giri or no. I mean, she's cute an' all, but I gotta career to keep up. Not to menshun, she don' wanna get married either..."
"Saotome Ranma?"
"Huh?"
Ranma swiveled a bit unsteadily, and tried to focus on the speaker.
~Man, I must be drunker than I thought. A three-foot high talkin' Troll doll? Maybe if I ignore it...~
-BOP-
"OW! What wazzat for?"
"You are Saotome Ranma?"
"Yeah, why?"
The Troll doll chuckled - or, at least, that was his guess as to what that sound was.
"Xian Pu has told me of your Jushenkyou curse, boy."
"Oh? So, what's this about Shampoo an' me bein' married, then?"
"It is the law of the Joketsuzoku, nearly three thousand years old."
"Oh. Well, I ain't from the Jokek...the Jokesu...your village. 'M from Nerima, Tokyo, Japan."
"This does not matter. It is the law, and you, being a male of the Joketsuzoku through marriage, must follow it."
"Man, am I wasted. Carryin' on a talk with a withered ol' troll 'bout useless laws..."
Kuh Lon narrowed her eyes. "Our laws are not useless. They are what kept the Zoketsuzoku strong over three thousand years of history. They ensure the strength of the tribe, by bringing in the greatest soldiers and fighters, in order to breed the ultimate warriors."
"Ain't he a wrestler or somethin'?"
Kuh Lon blinked. "You're drunk."
"Oh, I dunno, mebbe a bit...not too much...only had six, or seven, or eight, or I dunno..."
"I think it would be best for us to continue this conversation at a later date."
"Yeah...good plan...talk when I ain't seein' no trolls..."
* * * * *
"So, Son-in-law. I trust you are in better shape to talk now?"
"Huh?"
Ranma glanced up from his food to see the old woman balanced on her walking stick at the table.
"Oh, man. You mean it wasn't a hallucination?"
"No. It was not."
"Fine, then. Look, I ain't marryin' Shampoo, okay? I'm already engaged."
"Your other engagements are of no concern."
"They are to me."
"What you want is also of no concern."
"Besides, RDF military law says I need my superior officer's permission to marry a foreign national."
"RDF law is also of no concern."
Ranma carefully finished chewing his bite of egg roll, set down the unfinished portion, and glared at the crone.
"Let me see if I understand EXACTLY what you're saying here. RDF law is not important, but Chinese law - not even that, but the law of a nobody village in the middle of the Chinese jungle, so far out of reach of civilization that its citizens think 'space ship' means a really big boat - the laws of this village are important, even inside a Dimensional Fortress owned and operated by the United Earth Government, manned primarily by Japanese personnell, under martial law of the Robotech Defense Force."
"Yes, that's about right."
Ranma took another bite of his egg roll, chewed thoughtfully.
"Old bat, you're really something else."
Cologne raised an eyebrow. "Oh?"
"I really didn't thing ANYONE was that brain dead."
-WHACK-
"Ow!"
"Son-in-law, you will learn respect for your elders."
"I don't respect elders with senile delusions of grandeur."
Cologne chuckled, then lashed out again with her stick. Ranma tried to dodge, but the stick caught him square in the chest with the point.
"Oh, don't worry, Son-in-law. When the time comes, you will be begging me to allow you to marry Xian Pu."
"Huh?"
Cologne turned and left the restaurant, leaving Ranma horribly confused.
* * * * *
Shoko was the first to notice Ranma entering the ready room. She snapped to attention and called out, "Tench-hut!"
The room fell silent as Ranma picked up the glass of water on his desk and upended it over his head. There were gasps from the new pilots, but the older hands took it as their cue to sit down.
~Hm. That felt a bit warm. Still, it was cold enough to trigger the change...~
"Good afternoon. I trust you all slept well?"
There was a chorus of groans from the more hung-over pilots.
"Y'know, I really thought that a female squadron woulda done things different than a male squadron. But oh, no, you girls are just as hard drinkers as Skull..."
This comment elicited growls all around; Roy Fokker was the biggest drunkard in the RDF, and most of the Skull followed their Major's lead.
Ranma grinned. "Well, now for the good news. Firefly squadron has just graduated, and its members are bein' posted for repple-depple all through the fleet. Four of 'em came here. It's worth pointin' out that Skull and Sepia squadrons have both requested Fireflies. Seems you girls have made a lasting impression.
"Second, I've got some commendations to hand out. These aren't medals or anythin' like that, nor do they carry extra leave or bonus pay, but they WILL reflect on your promotion review. Lemme see here...Got two from Commander Hayes, one to Tendo Akane - outstanding use of tactics - and one for Kosuji Minako - courage under fire." He glanced up at the girl. "Minako, this commendation, along with your Purple Heart, will put you on the promotion schedule for Warrant Officer, second class.
"Finally, I got one other commendation. This one's from me, to Amy Clark. Courage under fire.
"Now, for today's mission briefing. We've punched through Zentraedi lines, and it appears that the majority of their fleet has folded for parts unknown. There's only about a hundred ships, ranging from scout corvette to cruiser, following us now. But now we got a lot of dead space to get through, and the sublimunal drive ain't really efficient through dead space. Has to do with a lack of hydrogen for the ramscoops. So we got maybe a two-month cruise before we reach Mars.
"During this time, six squadrons will be doing patrols, four up, four down, four more up, then twelve down. This will not be fun at all. The patrol order will be Skull, Green, Sepia, Blue, Angel and Rogue. So we ain't up for sixteen hours. But after that, we're up every day for eight hours a day for the next two months."
One of the new pilots raised her hand. "Uh, ma'am, there's thirty six squadrons on the Macross, right? So why only six being put on patrol?"
Ranma sighed; she had been dreading that question. "Well, the official line is that the six squadrons on patrol are the best squadrons, and are the most likely to survive a prolonged engagement with Zentraedi forces. The other thirty are being held back for reinforcement, or if needed to engage a capital ship. However, it is my belief that the reason these six squadrons have drawn onerous duty is because all six squadrons contain officers who've managed to irritate Colonel Maistroff."
Chuckles.
"Don't laugh, it ain't funny! Look, guys, you've never done heel-and-toe patrols before. Before these two months are out, you'll be cursing the very ground Maistroff walks on. I already am. Dismissed."
* * * * *
"Major Ranma Saotome to the bridge."
Ranma cursed. Since it was him being paged and not "Ranko", she'd have to change. Granted, her uniform had been modified to allow for her change, but her flight suit - of neccesity - had not. She spent five minutes struggling out of the flight suit, then grabbed her thermos and upended it over her head.
"YEEOOOOOW!"
Akane turned at the howl of pain, to see Ranma - still in female form - curled up in a ball, screaming.
"Ranma! What's wrong?"
"HOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOTHOT-"
Akane grabbed her helmet flask, ripping it from its moorings and pouring it over Ranma. She stared at the red welt rising on Ranma's face.
"What happened?"
Ranma shivered. "Musta been a short circuit in the thermos. The water was boiling hot."
Akane picked up the thermos and frowned. "You'd think the thermos itself would be hot..." She poured some of the water over her hand and frowned again. "Ranma, this water's barely warm at all!"
"Huh?"
"It's not hot. In fact, I don't think it's even warm enough to trigger the change."
Ranma frowned. "But it was boiling! It was way too hot to touch."
"Here, feel it." Alane poured the water over Ranma's hand.
"OW!" Ranma snatched her hand back like it'd been burned.
"What's going on?" Shoko and one of the new girls, Jane something-or-other, had wandered over.
"Ranma - I mean, Major Saotome - is of the opinion that this water is too hot." Akane tossed the thermos to Shoko, who tested the water carefully.
"She's nuts. This water's only lukewarm."
"I'm nuts, am I?" Ranma raised his hand, showing the red weal. "Since when does lukewarm water cause first-degree scalds?"
The new girl scratched her head. "Does this have something to do with that sex-change she did in the briefing?"
"Yeah." Akane sat down. "Major Saotome acquired an ancient Chinese curse--"
"He lives in interesting times?"
Ranma smirked. "That does about sum it up."
Akane glared at both of them. "The curse comes from a place called Jushenkyou. Cold water turns Ranma into a female, and hot water turns him male."
"So what is he - a guy or a girl?"
Ranma glared at her. "I'm a guy, got it? The only reason I fly as a girl is because girls can handle Valkyries better."
The bitch box clicked again. "Major Ranma Saotome, report to the bridge immediately."
"Aw, crap. If I can't stand the water needed to change back to a guy, how am I supposed to go to the bridge?"
Shoko shrugged. "Just walk faster, I guess."
"No, you don't understand. Only about fifteen people outside of this squadron know about the curse. Normally, only one of them is on the bridge, but Lisa's not there right now..."
"So?"
"So it was my male persona summoned! I can't go there like this! Then EVERYONE will know!"
"So just get some hot water-"
Ranma smacked her head. "Don't you get it, Shoko? If I can't stand THAT water, which isn't hot enough to cause the change-"
"Oh! I see." Shoko shook her head. "Man, you're screwed."
"Thank you for your vote of confidence."
Akane spoke up. "Look, Ranma. You're just gonna have to risk it, 'cause you sure don't have any other choice at the moment. Hopefully it's not Gloval who wants to see you."
"Right." Ranma stood, resignedly, and headed for the hanger door.
* * * * *
The door to the bridge slid open, and Ranma hesitantly stepped out into the bridge. "Ah, Major Saotome reporting as ordered, sir."
Gloval stood and walked around his chair, coming face to face with Ranma. "What on earth-"
Sammie Porter waved at Ranma. "Hi, Ranma-chan!"
"I had Ranma Saotome paged, not Ranko."
Sammie grinned. "You're gonna love this, Captain!"
"Indeed." Another man turned to face Ranma. He was tall, dark-haired and bulged with muscles. But the really disturbing part was his eyes. They were completely black. "This is the very reason I asked you to call him to the bridge."
"Very well...To the Briefing Room, please. Sammie, since you seem to know what this is all about, you are to come with us."
"Aye, sir!"
* * * * *
"Now then, Dr. Lang, would you kindly tell us what the hell is going on?"
"Certainly, sir. Major Fokker was being debriefed by myself when he mentioned something about Major Saotome changing in the cockpit. He tried to cover it up, but I managed to pry out of him that Major Saotome apparently suffers from an exotic Chinese curse."
"Yep." Sammie leaned forward. "And Lisa knew all about it, too! She told me, 'cause I've gotta run the Valkyrie teams when she's away."
"I see. So what exactly is this curse."
"Ahem-" Lang turned towards Sammie. "First off, your name and rank?"
"Eh? Samantha Porter, Ensign."
"Thank you. Please continue."
"Well, Ranma apparently changes gender when hit by water. Hot water renders her male, and cold water turns him female."
Gloval blinked at this interesting use of pronouns.
Lang sat down and leaned back in his chair. "Well, now, Major Saotome. Would you care to come down to the medical lab?"
* * * * *
Five minutes later, Gloval, Sammie, Lang and Ranma were in the med lab. While Lang fussed over his equipment, Sammie chatted with Ranma.
"So tell me, Ranma-chan, why did you come to the bridge as Ranko?"
Ranma shrugged. "For some reason, I can't tolerate water hot enough for me to shift."
Lang frowned at this. "Why not?"
"I dunno. Just for some reason, water feels warmer to me."
Lang scowled and began putting some of his equipment away. "Guess I won't get to use these..."
"So you've known about this curse all the time?"
"Yep." Sammie grinned. "Lisa told me about it when she was explaining the TOE."
"So you knew, even as you tried to arrange dates for me in female form?"
Sammie shrugged. "A girl can have some fun, can't she?"
"I'm gonna strangle you..."
"Not right, now, Ranma, if you please." Lang walked over with an armload of wires and probes. "Would you please strip to the waist and lie down?"
"Ah..." Ranma glanced at the Major, then back to Lang. Gloval took the hint.
"Sorry. I'll just go back to the bridge." He beat a hasty retreat from the room.
"Don't worry about me, Major. Remember, I'm a doctor."
"Right." Ranma pulled off his uniform jacket, then unbuttoned and removed the shirt.
"...of Engineering. Boots too."
Ranma scowled at him, but removed her boots and leaned back into the medical bed. Lang proceeded to wire her up with several small sensors.
"I wanted to get some readings on you as you shifted, but I guess that's not going to be possible. So instead I'm going to scan you for radioactivity, reflex energy and so forth. I'm also going to expose you to such - don't worry, I'll use low levels, too low to damage even the most sensitive cells - to see if this provokes some sort of response. Also, this device-" he gestured towards a machine "-will do a complete DNA workup of your system."
"Joy."
Lang grinned. "Not very enthusiastic?"
"Y'know, Doc, I spent three years hiding this curse so just this sort of thing wouldn't happen. Then Roy goes and tells you. I'm gonna kill him."
"Don't worry, Ranma. I'm not going to turn you into a full-time guinea pig. But if I can discover the cause of this transformation, then perhaps I can reverse it."
Ranma sat bolt upright, dislodging several of the sensors. "You mean you can cure the curse?"
"Perhaps. But not if you won't let me proceed."
"Oh. Sorry." Ranma lay down again, and Lang started replacing the dislodged sensors. "So, why are you here, Sammie?"
She grinned. "Well, mainly it's because I think your curse is fascinating. I mean, you're the only person in the world who truly understands both genders' points of view. So if Doc Lang can get more information on it..." She shrugged. "Also, I'm gonna need whatever information he finds, 'cause it might affect the TOE."
"How?"
"What happens if he can cure you? Who's gonna be in command of Angel Squadron?"
"Hm...Good point. I'd suggest Lieutenant Kanzaki."
"Oh? Not Lieutenant Tendo, your fiancee?"
Ranma scowled. "In the first place, nepotism is conduct unbecoming an RDF officer, ne? Second, Kanzaki is the best leadership material in the squadron."
"Right. Right. Just pulling your chain."
Lang broke in. "All done!"
"What? Already?"
"Yes. These things don't take long. It actually takes longer to wire you up than it does to run the tests." He began removing the sensors. "Just as soon as I get these things off, you can get dressed." He removed the last of them and handed her a small facecloth. "You can use this to remove the adhesive."
"Thanks." Ranma quickly wiped herself down, then dressed. "So what's the verdict, Doc?"
"The computer's still running the analysis. It'll take about ten more minutes. Coffee?"
"Sure, thanks. Aw, crap, I just remembered something. Doc, I'll be back in half an hour. Sammie, c'mon. You gotta help me."
"Huh?"
* * * * *
"Okay, Ranma, what's going on? Where are we going?"
"Look, Sammie, you were wrong. I DON'T know about women's point of view. Okay? I'm just as clueless about this as any male."
"...Okay, sure. Just means you gotta work at it-"
"Maybe, but I ain't got the time. Tomorrow is Akane's birthday and I gotta get her a present."
"Right. So what does she want?"
"I DON'T KNOW!"
"Yeesh, you don't have to yell. Still, I guess you're right. You're not the first guy I've helped out this way. Now lemme think..."
* * * * *
Twenty minutes later, gift-wrapped package in hand, Ranma walked back into the lab.
"Hey, Doc, I'm back."
Dr. Lang glanced up from the computer. "Ah, good. Where's Sammie?"
"Called back to the bridge. I'm supposed to tell her what happens."
"Very well. It seems that this 'curse' is somehow tied into Robotechnology. Your body literally radiates reflex energy, and bombarding you with reflex energy causes your DNA to shift. How water is tied into the formula, I don't know, but I'd recommend you expose yourself to cold water sometime soon."
"Uh...why?"
"Because your DNA at the cellular level has transformed, and will slowly - and painfully - convert you back to your male form. Unless you act to reverse it..."
"So even if I did let it run its course, I'd still turn female again with cold water?"
"Yes."
"So I'm guessin' you didn't find a cure."
"Sadly, no." Lang handed Ranma a sheet of paper. "This is a work order for your personal Valkyrie. It's to be upgraded to an S-variant, and the engines to be replaced with Kustonov reflex heat-pile reactors."
"Meaning?"
"You'll notice a loss of speed, due to the fact that Kustonov reactors are less efficient than fusion engines. However, due to your own personal reflex signature, it should make your fighter more nimble in combat. I'm not sure how, but these things do tend to happen."
"Yeah, and usually to me..."
* * * * *
"Angel Squadron, fall in."
The girls of the squadron leapt to their feet and fell into formation before the Major.
"Stand easy. Okay folks, we've picked up a break for the moment. Captain Gloval has decided that Angel Squadron will be receiving four days' down time. No patrols or anything during that time." He paused to allow the light cheering to stop. "The bad news is, at the end of that time, we will be on Ready Five sixteen hours."
"Why the change of schedule?"
"Seems that the Chief Engineer, Doctor Lang, has decided that my fighter needs a refit. Then he suggested to Gloval that Angel be reserved for truly frightful messes. So, we get to sit around and be bored, and pray to God we get to stay bored. Also, Maistroff's patrol order has been pulled by Chief of Operations. Ensign Porter though that the Macross' squadrons could be put to much more intelligent uses. So we now have a rotating schedule - sixteen hours on Ready Alert, twelve hours downtime, four hours patrol. But where everyone else gets to take about three days downtime at the end of their cycle, we get only twenty hours, then back on Ready Five. For the other squadrons, it makes sense - it's easier on the pilots, and it gives the tech crews plenty of time for repairs and maintenance. For us, it's gonna be a living hell."
Ranma decided to get something to eat. Not that this was a hard decision for her - Akane had once accused her of eating like a Hoover, whatever that meant. No, the problem now was choice of restaurant. Previously, this would not have been a problem. Ranma's favourite food was Cantonese-style, and there was only the White Dragon. But now some other enterprising people had opened a restaurant.
"Hmmm...Should I just go to the White Dragon? Or try this new place?" Ranma glanced from one restaurant to the other, then made her decision.
"Right! The new place! Just wish they'd change the name..."
With that, she opened the door and walked in. The smell of freshly-cooked Cantonese food swept over her - sweet and sour sauce, pork, chicken, chow mein...She closed her eyes and just savoured the aroma.
"Nihao! Welcome to Cat Cafe!"
That voice...sounded disturbingly familiar. She opened her eyes again and looked at the waitress.
Purple hair.
Pony tails.
Patterned cheongsam.
Shampoo.
"Aw, man..."
"Aiyah! Ranma come to visit Xian Pu!. Xian Pu so happy! Come, Airen, sit here! Xian Pu get you too-too delicious noodle soup!" The purple-haired Amazon bounced off towards the kitchen.
"Great. And with my luck, the old ghoul's here too."
-WHACK-
"Ow!"
"And just who do you think you're calling a ghoul?"
"Aw, man! I just KNEW I shoulda gone to the White Dragon."
Kuh Lon grinned. "I believe that they have a lack of customers at this time. Something to do with the fact that Lin Minmei no longer works there. While I have a Miss Macross finalist as a waitress..."
"So you don't mind that you mostly get customers who want to ogle her?"
"It is only right to acknowledge the beauty of an Amazon warrior. Besides, to stay, they have to buy food...So tell me...why are you here in female guise?"
"Huh?" Ranma glanced up at her, then narrowed her eyes. "You did this to me, didn't you? When you poked me in the chest."
"True enough, son-in-law. When I touched your chest, I struck a shiatsu point. Your whole body is now as sensitive as a cat's tongue, and we all know how sensitive that is. With this affecting you, you cannot tolerate temperatures hot enough to shift back to your male body."
"Why'd you do it, old ghoul?"
"That should be obvious. Marry Xian Pu, and I will undo what I did. Refuse, and you will remain female for the rest of your life."
"I keep telling you, I ain't gonna marry Shampoo!"
"And I keep telling you that you have no choice. You're dealing with three thousand years of Amazon history. You can't win. So be a man, do the sensible thing, and marry the girl."
"No way."
"So be it. I shall be here, in case you change your mind." The old woman hopped back towards the kitchen.
"Man, I wish she'd get the picture." Ranma scowled down at the table.
Xian Pu bounced over and set a bowl of ramen in front of Ranma. "Here is ramen, airen. And Xian Pi give airen tip as well."
"Tip? I thought I was supposed to give the tip."
"That tip later. This tip now. Locket around Hiibachan's neck contain Phoenix Pill."
"Phoenix?" Ranma glanced up from her noodles. "As in the bird that rises from its own ashes?"
"Champion of heat resistance!"
"So if I take that pill, then I can stand the water needed to change back..." Ranma leaped from her chair and dove towards the old woman.
"Gimme that pill, old ghoul!"
-WHACK-
"Ow!"
Ranma hit the floor face first. Scowling, she peeled herself off the linoleum and gazed balefully at the Amazon Elder.
Kuh Lon, for her part, was grinning. "You have to be much faster than that, son-in-law, if you want to get the pill."