Star Ocean: The Second Story:
Episode 2 ( Season 1 ): The Whammy:
Claude: -You can't just lose all sense of time whatsoever....!....
Chisato: Don't worry, I won't lose a *complete* sense....; I'll just ~ it a little....
Claude: ....
Coming up... NEXT!!!!
And, one more thing.......... - don't get drunk!
Setting: Central City, on a Monday
***** Beginning Tag *****
-2:45 PM - The Nede Chronicle Office-
***** Beginning Tag *****
Chisato is writing an article while she talks to Joyce Iliad, friend in the Nede Chronicles Office, and fellow reporter....
Chisato: Say, Joyce, what's the difference between 'stunting,' and 'preforming a stunt?'
Joyce: Well, when you 'stunt,' you keep from growing, and when you 'preform a stunt,' you preform an action....
Chisato: So, 'stunting' is to keep from doing, while to 'preform a stunt' is to do?
Joyce: In essence....
Chisato: Those are opposites! Why would the same looking word have two meanings which are *completely* OPPOSITE of one another!?
Joyce: ... Go figure....
Chisato: Well, whoever made up THAT word must have been pretty stressed out... like I am....
Joyce: ....
Kramden, editor-in-chief of The Nede Chronicle, enters the office....
Chisato: Hi, Kramden; do you know of any was to relieve stress? Quite frankly, I'm feeling ~really~ stressed out now....-
Kramden: -Go see a therapist. Therapists always fix this sort of thing. Believe me, I know - I've been working as a lead reporter for over ten years. I looked into it....
Chisato: A therapist? Like one of those guys for those deranged mental patients? Hmmm....
Kramden: I happen to know a really good one, too - his name's Kenny Chard....
Kramden hands Chisato a business card....
Kramden: Call his number, sometime - see what he can do for you....
Chisato: Alright - this stress is causing me to have writers block, too; I don't even know the difference between 'stunt' and 'stunt....!' I think that I should probably see him soon....
All: ....
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**********
-6:15 PM - The Weight Lawyer Restaurant-
**********
Claude and Rena are eating together....
Claude: ( rummaging his fork through the food in his plate ) Rena, did you ever get the feeling that there are some foods that are only meant to be displayed, and not eaten?
Rena: How do you mean?
Claude: I mean, like at a party or something ; do they REALLY expect you to eat the greenery on the side of that set of spare ribs over there? Nobody ever -eats- that stuff....
Rena: I know what you mean. People sometimes even 'display' their food - why IS that, anyway?
Claude: I *know*! Like at those parties with all those side-dishes... the cheese spread out in a
circular pattern - I feel as if I had just desecrated some sort of ~arcane artifact~ whenever I take
a bite out that first parcel of food....
Rena: Well, that took upwards of two minutes....
Claude: ... How high is up, anyway?
Rena: Come again....?
Claude: I mean, just how high IS 'up?'
Rena: Claude, 'up' has no limit. It could be anything, in fact. Upness is relative, don't you know that?
Claude: ....
Rena: Anything that is above your body is classified as 'up.' 'Up' is all different distances...
Claude: But are the orientation of objects measured based on the top of your head, or the exact center of your body? THAT is the question....
Rena: I'd say a little over the top....
Claude: I KNEW it!
Rena: No, I mean that this conversation is a little over the top....
Claude: But what about the dimensions?
Rena gives Claude a look....
Rena: Just FORGET the dimensions!
Claude: Rena, is that?-
**********
-7:18 PM - The streets of Central City-
**********
Claude and Ashton are walking and talking....
Claude: -A Whammy!
Ashton: A whammy?
Claude: You know...; the evil eye?
Ashton: Oh...; 'the look'....
Claude: Yep....
Ashton: So, how do you plan on making it up to her?
Claude: What?
Ashton: You can't just let this slide. Rena's going to remember the events of today, you know. So, any plans?
Claude: ... No idea....
Ashton: I'd cook something for her, if I were you. You know, like a romantic banquet for two....
Claude: But I don't know *how* to cook!
Ashton: Cooking's not so hard, Claude! ~All's you have to do is get a bunch of ingredients and
practically *throw* them together;- and BOOM!!!! You have a meal!
Claude: ....
Claude and Ashton look at a guy waiting under a lamppost....
Ashton: Claude, would you look at that?
Claude: You mean that person waiting under the lamppost?
Ashton: Yes. Him. How long do you suppose he's been waiting there?
Claude: Oh, I don't know. His leg seems to be wavering a bit... a sure-fire sign of excretory pressure and build up-
Ashton: -At least three hours....
Claude: But, what does it matter?
Ashton: Aren't you concerned over the suffering that this individual might be going through?
Claude: ... No.
Ashton: No? You're not concerned? How could you NOT be concerned?
Claude: Hey, it's his situation - I'm sure that if something was wrong, he'd go and rectify it....
Ashton: Nope, can't be. If something was wrong, and he was to rectify it, then he wouldn't be HERE now, would he?
Claude: ... Could you repeat that?
Ashton: I mean, if he had the capacity to solve the problem himself, it would already be solved. The sheer fact that he still stands there is a sure-fire sign that he needs my help.
Claude: Why can't he just get the help from whatever he's waiting for?
Ashton: Must I explain the whole scale of things again????
Claude: ( semi-sarcastically ) ... N~aaaa~h....
Ashton: Alright, then. I'm going in!
Ashton leaves, heading towards the man under the lamppost....
Claude: ( referring to Ashton ) Poor fella....
**********
-7:56 PM - The Therapist's Quarters-
**********
Chisato can be seen talking to Kenny Chard, the therapist....
Chisato: I'm feeling stressed out...; any solutions?
Kenny: Have you ever noticed how time seems to... -slip- ... between your fingers rather quickly?
Chisato: Well, what could be expected if it's measured in sand?
Kenny: No, no; I didn't mean literally. I mean, how it seems to pass by so quickly....
Chisato: Oh, yes - a big problem....
Kenny: I suggest that you loosen up a bit...; how often do you check your watch, clock on the wall, or otherwise any other -ticking- device?
Chisato: All the time.
Kenny: Well, don't - just concentrate on your task at hand. Be organized, but not TOO organized. You must locate that fine line between organized and unorganized....
Chisato: Alright. So, 'organized' and unorganized are my choices?
Kenny: No, no - BETWEEN organized and unorganized, lies your block of salvation....
Chisato: A block???? I thought you just referred to it as a line before....
Kenny: It's metaphorical-
Chisato: A block and a line are two completely different things! How DID you get into therapy, anyway, if you can't even maintain consistent information????
Kenny: Alright, do you want to be treated, or not?
Chisato: Well, what's your definition of 'treatment?'
Kenny: ....
**********
-8:18 PM - The Streets of Central City-
**********
Ashton approaches the man waiting under the lamppost....
Ashton: ( happily ) Hey, how are things going!?
Man: -Whoa! Jeez, what are you trying to do to me? I could have had a heart attack!
Ashton: No, that's not it....
Man: You made me jump out of my seat....
Ashton: Despite the fact that you were not even sitting in one....
Man: It's an expression. Anyway, what brings you?
Ashton: Why, my own two feet, of course!
Man: You know what I mean-
Ashton: -You can't overlook the foot...; it's the epitome of evolution....
Man: What?
Ashton: Sure, we might evolve based on our surroundings, but how do you think we got there?
Man: ....
Ashton: Anyway, it has come to my attention that you have been exposed to inhumane amounts of suffering by waiting for, quite frankly, I might add, seemingly nothing....
Man: Seemingly nothing???? I'm waiting for my blind date, THAT'S who I'm waiting for!
Ashton: Oooh...; it can still be considered suffering...; you've been waiting here a bit too long....
Man: ....
Ashton: I still think you're suffering....
Man: Well, I have to be leaving - it's getting late....
Ashton: Weren't you waiting for a date?
Man: Yeah...; well....
The man leaves....
Ashton: How rude! Abandoning his date like that! I think I'll wait here, and tell his date when she comes....
**********
-9:27 PM - Claude's Brandywine Inn Room-
**********
Claude and Chisato can be seen talking to each other....
Chisato: -So, I saw Mr. Chard just earlier - he gave me these relaxation techniques....
Claude: It's about time; I couldn't wait for you to get your problem fixed....
Chisato TIME... that's just *it*....; what use ~IS~ time, anyway? It's the -influx- of inaccuracy, don't you know?....
Claude: You're not suggesting-?
Chisato: -Yes. Removing my sense of time! If I bend how much time I have to my very whim, I'll never run out! It'll be like being immortal!
Claude: But Chisato! You have a job to go to, places to be! You can't just lose all sense of time whatsoever....!....
Chisato: Don't worry, I won't lose a *complete* sense....; I'll just ~ it a little....
Claude: ....
Precis enters the room....
Precis: Hey HEY all!
Claude: Hi Precis.
Chisato: Hey there!
Precis: ( observing the direction of the door swing ) Look at this door; it's a disgrace!
Claude: What?
Chisato: Why's that?
Precis: Think about it; I mean, the extra hotel room space that we could have here. Instead of being the barrier for the back of the door, this space could be used as a place to hang coats-
Chisato: -Or roast peanuts!
Precis: Yeah!
Claude: ....
Precis: I'm going to do that now....
Claude: You mean, reverse the direction of the door-swing?
Precis: Yuppies!
Claude: ..........
Precis leaves the room....
Chisato: Sometimes, that girl's even more ambitious than me....
Claude: Ambitious...? That's putting it lightly, Chisato.
Chisato: ....
**********
-10:04 PM - The streets of Central City-
**********
Ashton is waiting still. Suddenly, a woman comes upon him....
Woman: Hey! You must be my blind date!
Ashton: Well, actually-
Woman: You're quite handsome - just as my parents described!
Ashton: Wow...; thank you!
Woman: My name's Fay Moore. So, would you care to join me at the Weight Lawyer Restaurant?
Ashton: ( smiling ) ... Oooh, Do I!
Ashton and the woman leave....
The Wedding of the Century is about to take place! The kingdoms of Cross will be in heated celebration as Celine Jules and Clother T. Cross are wed on their very special day!
Matrimonial Dissolution
However, all is not well. Those with malice in their hearts have other plans for the newlyweds. A Heraldic Wizard plots the death of Celine's fiancee, in an attempt to retaliate against her and her friends. If the auction wasn't enough to grant him the treasures of the Cross Cave, then maybe this plot might be enough to grant him the treasures of the entire kingdom!
Can Rena, Claude, and all their friends thwart the plans of the nefarious wizard in time? That... nobody knows..........
Matrimonial Dissolution - a work-in-progress fanfiction from the creator of Fantastic Fiction and The Nede Chronicles!
**********
-7:14 AM - The next day, at Claude's Brandywine Hotel Room-
**********
Claude and Ashton are talking....
Ashton: She's wonderful, Claude! The smile, the hair - she's perfect for me!
Claude: Are you sure this is Ok?
Ashton: Well, the other guy never returned....
Claude: And you unwittingly waited those hours? The man could have been lying, you know....
Ashton: Could have... but WOULD have????
Claude: ....
Ashton: It was great, Claude! We ate at the Weight Lawyer Restaurant. Everything went well!
Claude: Everything?
Ashton: Yes, of course! Except for this look that she gave me when I almost forgot to leave a tip-
Claude: -Whoa, Ashton. Did you say a look?
Ashton: Why, yes- ... you don't think that she gave me a whammy, do you?
Claude: Did she have the chin tilt? The curved eyebrow?
Ashton: Well...; yeah-
Claude: That was a whammy!
Ashton: Oh, no! I have to make it up to her, somehow!
Claude: We both share a common problem, you know, towards those we care about. 'The Whammy'....
Chisato enters the room.
Chisato: Well, it looks like my anti-time policy is working out! I'm no longer feeling tired by waking up at this hour - it's like my body forgot that it was extra-early!
Ashton: Hey, Claude - I got it! I'll cook a banquet for her!
Chisato: ????
Claude: Ashton has found a new girlfriend, but needs to make up to her; you know... the whammy....
Chisato: Oooh, I heard of those. This is urgent....
Ashton: That's what I was afraid of....
Chisato: Yep....
Ashton: Chisato, when you return home from your job, could you buy me some cooking ingredients please?
Chisato: Sure, no problem....
Precis enters the room....
Precis: Habba-dy-hey all!
Ashton: ( with a look on confusion on his face ) Ha-baah....;....????
Precis: Claude, my reverse door idea is working out COOLY!!!!
Chisato: Can you explain that to me some more?
Precis: Well, you know how the door to the rooms in this Inn rotate inward upon entry? I felt that they should curve outward, to save room. I've already reversed the doors to Ashton's and my rooms....
Ashton: Mine too?
Precis: Of course....
Chisato: Why do it yourself, Precis?
Precis: Huh? What do you mean?
Chisato: We can take this idea one step further...; I'll ask Kramden to if he knows of any architectural agencies for which you can set up an appointment with. You could make it a standard....!....
Precis: You'd do that for me?
Chisato: Sure! Kramden knows A LOT of guys in big business. He introduced me to my therapist. I'll get you involved with the architectural agency as *soon* as possible! We could make millions!
Precis: Thanks Chisato! ... Well, it looks like i'm in for big....
All: ....
**********
-11:23 AM - The Nede Chronicles Office-
**********
Chisato is talking to her boss, Kramden.
Chisato: So, Kramden, do you know of any architectural agencies for which I can contact? I have this friend who's proposing a standardized door plan, which I feel deserves the right to be recognized....
Kramden: I think I might know just what you need....!....
Chisato: Really?
Kramden: Of course! The City Architectural Planning Institution Towards All Loans, also called Capital, takes charge in such situations. I'll print out a map for you to get there....
Chisato: Thank you!
Kramden: Than all's your friend has to do is set up an appointment with one of their associates.
Chisato: Thanks again!
**********
-1:45 PM - At the Reverse Edge Tool Shop-
**********
Claude and Ashton are searching for a gift for Rena....
Claude: Man, I just can't decide what I want to get for Rena....
Ashton: Who were you talking to just then, Claude. Yourself, or I?
Claude: No, just talking to 'anybody who wants to hear....'
Ashton: ( almost laughing ) What???? That's the oldest excuse in the book!
Claude: Alright, alright, so I made a promise to myself that I wouldn't talk to myself anymore...."
Ashton: But Claude, if you promised yourself that you wouldn't talk to yourself anymore, wouldn't that be sort of a paradox????
Claude: What?
Ashton: Look, to truly make a promise, you have to speak it out loud, and if you promised yourself something, you just spoke out loud right there! But if you spoke out loud to yourself right there, how could you make such a promise in the first place if you had just broken it right when you said it? ... Understand what I'm saying?
Claude: Yes, but if *I didn't* talk to myself, then why would I have made that promise in the FIRST place????"
Ashton: Yes, but....; -Oh, no - I must've found a loophole in the universe....
Claude: Yes, and I tied you in it like a wild boar on it's last legs...; not that it had extra pairs of legs beforehand....
Ashton: Well, that must have been one large loop-hole, then....
Claude: Not very scientific, if you ask me....
Ashton: Well, let's just say that science, for the time being, didn't exist-
Claude: -Science HAS to exist! Don't you know that science is the basis of all healthy relationships?
Ashton: It is?
Claude: Of course! Now come, help me find a gift here for Rena. I wouldn't want to spoil the 'chemistry' of our relationship....
Ashton: ....
Claude: Seriously, though, what do you think would make a good gift, Ashton?
Ashton: Ah, I don't know... maybe a ring of sorts?
Claude: Diamond? Sapphire? Ruby? Perhaps beryl? What do you think is better....?....
Ashton: Please, let's not get into the physics of it....-
Claude: -You can never have too much science....! ESPECIALLY where relationships are concerned....!....
Ashton: ....
Claude: And don't forget about Biology, either....
Ashton: ....
**********
-4:28 PM - At Claude's Brandywine Inn room-
**********
Claude, Ashton and Chisato can be seen.
Chisato: So, you and Claude were hunting for a gift for Rena?
Claude: ... Yes.
Chisato: So, what did you get?
Ashton: ... Guess!
Claude: Ashton....
Chisato: -An *apricot*!
Claude: No....
Ashton: Actually, we got nothing, but nothing is SOMETHING, isn't it?
Chisato: But how could nothing be something, if something often turns out to be nothing so often in relationships these days?
Ashton: ....
Chisato: Oh, by the way, I got your cooking ingredients, Ashton. They're in back.
Ashton: Somehow, it's revealing to know that *I* have a gift for my girlfriend....
Ashton goes to retrieve his ingredients....
Chisato: Right in back there....
Ashton: I appreciate it.
Precis enters the room.
Precis: Hey hey all!
Chisato: Oh, Precis! I found an association for which you can set up an appointment with!
Precis: Wow, already?
Chisato: Yep! ( handing Precis the map ) On here, is the number you can call to set up the appointment....
Precis: Yay!
Precis leaves the room, as Ashton comes from the back, carrying the ingredients.
Precis: ????
Ashton: Don't worry, I'm only using these to COOK with..........
Precis: ....
Ashton exits the room....
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**********
-5:36 PM - Claude's Brandywine Inn Room-
**********
Claude can be seen talking to Chisato....
Claude: I'm telling you, this whammy deal is too much for me! Ashton's managed to cook up something for HIS girlfriend, but I *still* have nothing for Rena!
Chisato: Well, I'm sorry to notify you of your 'untimely' *Whamnification*, Claude, but whatever happens happens....
Claude: ....
Precis enters the room....
Precis: Hi! I just set up an appointment with the agency - it starts in an hour! Anybody want to come with me?
Chisato: Sure! We can even get some food on the way there....
Claude: ( happily ) Hey, wait a second, WAIT A SECOND!!!! This is perfect! Food, walking around, trying out new things; it could be like a special date for Rena and I! I think that THIS could make up for 'The Whammy'....
Precis: ... Alright. You can *all* come along. What about Ashton, though?
Claude: He can't come - he invited his OWN date to -his- place, to make up for a whammy incident that -he- ran into....
Precis: Oooh....
Claude: But anyway, I'll get Rena! This 'll be great!
All: ....
**********
-5:44 PM - Ashton's Brandywine Inn room-
**********
Ashton and Fay are talking to one another....
Fay: Ashton, I've got to hand it to you... this here is some good stuff....
Ashton: Yep, it sure is!
Fay: But, what ingredients did you use to make this stuff?
Ashton: Oooh, you don't want to know....
Fay: C'mon! It's not gonna KILL you!
Ashton: Well, do you have an inner-belly button, or an outer belly-button?
Fay: But, I asked first!
Ashton: So?
Fay: C'mon, I'm ASKING you!
Ashton: See, now that's just an overstatement. I already knew that you were asking me, or else I wouldn't have implied that I didn't want to tell you in the first place....
Fay: Alright, alright. I think I'll just continue eating, since you're being so hard about it....
Ashton: ....
Fay: It's mostly good....
Ashton: ... Huh? Did I do something wrong?
Fay: No, no...; nothing..........; nothing's wrong..........
Ashton: Fay, you don't seem to be completely fine....
Fay: Don't worry... I'm alright....................
Ashton: Your eyes look glassy....
Fay: .......... Urgh.....; forgive me, sorry.... ( blarb!!!! )
Ashton: ( As he begins to cascade backwards ) Oh! *All* OVER me!!!!
Fay: ....
**********
-6:38 PM - At The Capital Architectural Offices -
**********
Claude, Rena and Chisato are talking inside the building, while they wait for an appointment....
Rena: So, is this the surprise location?
Claude: You bet it is!
Precis comes from around the corner....
Precis: I just talked to an associate - the appointment will be short, and in five minutes! It's the last one, too - they're closing after I propose my idea!
Chisato: Oh, man - I haven't eaten anything in a while... I must've lost track of-
Claude: -Because of your time therapy! Chisato, this is going too far....
Chisato: Can I buy an ice pop? I'm *starved*?
Claude: No, NO - we don't have *time* to eat NOW....
Chisato: How can we not have time? *I* have all the time in the world....!
Claude: ....
Chisato: I'm getting an orange cream bar; there's a vending machine right over there. Does anybody have any spare FOL on them?
Rena: Nope. Sorry.
Rena: Me neither....
Claude: ( agitated ) Fine, fine.... here you go. ( gives Chisato 150 FOL )
Chisato: Thanks; I'll pay you back later.
Chisato goes to a vending machine, to get a snack.
Precis: Chisato's going to have to eat whatever she's getting right here - they don't allow food inside the appointment offices....
Chisato returns with an orange-flavored ice pop.
Chisato: This is so cool! It's the one with the joke on the stick! Gotta eat to find the answer....
Precis: C'mon, Chisato! I want to have enough time to propose my door plan!
Chisato: C'mon! I'm almost done!
Rena: Urgh....
Claude: ????
Chisato: Ok, done! It was an interesting joke, too - had to do with what fish do when a lake freezes-
Precis: -Yeah, yeah... let's go....-
Rena: -What DO they do, anyway?
Chisato: They must disappear somehow...; no, really....
Claude: But how could they do that? Don't you know that they get -solidified- in the ice water all winter????
Chisato: If that's true, Claude, then how do they get their nutrition????
Rena: They must live off their body fat....
Chisato: Yeah, that's right! It's almost like being Cryogenically frozen....
Precis: ( visibly agitated ) Let's... GET BACK TO THE TASK ~~AT HAND~~!!!! .......... Let's go to where we need to! ... We don't have time for this!
Rena: Urgh, Claude! Do something!
Claude: Eh, Rena....
An associate walks up to the group.
Associate: Sorry, folks, you're going to have to leave - it's closing time....
Precis: But...; but!
Associate: No buts. We need you out of here, or we'll have the government and Nede Defense Force unit on your back....
Chisato: Alright, alright already....
The group exits the building....
Precis: This is all your fault, Chisato! If ONLY you haven't lost your sense of time, you wouldn't have misjudged how much time was left until closing. You HAD to eat that ice pop, didn't you!!!!????
Chisato: ....
Rena: Well, it's of no use to just stand around here. Let's head back, shall we?
Claude: Right. Where are the directions?
Chisato: .......... Oh, no! I was holding them! I used them as a napkin, and threw them out along with my ice pop!
Claude: just great....
Precis: Now what?
Chisato: Um....
Chisato spots a payphone in the distance....
Chisato: Hey, a payphone! Kramden should still be in the office - I can call him up, and he could obtain another copy of the map, and tell us the way there!
Rena: Thank goodness....
Chisato: Ok, does anybody have any more FOL on them?
Precis: Nope.
Rena: Me neither....
Claude: All of our FOL was already spent... on the ice pop which caused us to miss the appointment in the first place....!....
Precis: So... now what?
Claude: Perhaps... we can all just wait in this one spot?
Rena: Urgh! CLAUDE!!!!
Claude: ( nervously ) Rena? Is that a look?
Rena: Oooh, it's a look, alright!!!!
Claude: Oh, no. Not-
Rena: That's right.... ( gives Claude a look )
Claude: Oooh... you're killing me, Rena!
The wait is finally drawing to a close..........
Star Ocean: Blue Sphere is scheduled for a June 28th release!
.......... In Japan, that is.
*****
Join Claude, Rena, and all your other favorites in a NEW quest to save the universe! Traverse narrow passages, use killer moves, commence in Private Actions, and pit your parties head to head in this sequel to a sequel!*
And all from the comfort of behind your Gameboy Color!
*Information obtained from RPGamer.com ....
***** End Tag *****
-11:26 PM - Claude's Brandywine Inn Room-
***** End Tag *****
Claude and Ashton are talking to one another....
Claude: She gave me another whammy, Ashton! The date was a *complete* disaster! And we didn't get home until about 11:15! All those hours, wasted!....
Ashton: You think YOU had it bad!? You know the ingredients which I used to create my gourmet - it turns out that my food was all *spoiled* - somehow, I think Chisato forgot to check the expiration dates when she bought the ingredients or something-
Claude: -Because of her loss of a sense of time!
Ashton: What?
Claude: Don't you see? Chisato no longer goes by that system - those measurements mean nothing to her! She put her head in the sand of an hourglass, basically!
Ashton: For a second, I thought that Fay would be able to resist the sickness. But then - she threw up all over me, too!
Claude: You know, they say throw-up looks a bit like alphabet soup....
Ashton: ... Right. Anyway, after Fey recovered, she gave me a look *so* bad, that I doubled over and tripped over my chair!-
Claude: Oh, no - The Double Whammy!
Ashton: Yeah, how'd you know?
Claude: Well, you 'doubled over,' didn't you?
Ashton: ....
Precis enters the room....
Precis: ....
Claude, Ashton, and Precis are hesitant to talk for a minute....
Precis: .......... Well, so much for my door plan....
Claude: Can't you just get another appointment?
Precis: Nope - we lost the paper with the map and number, remember? And Chisato said that Kramden wasn't likely to give her another copy anytime soon, based upon the past events....
Claude: See? Time is what makes things tick-
Precis: -Literally!
Claude: ....
Ashton: -So anyway, Fay and I ended up breaking up after all. I even scraped my leg when I tripped. I had to spend the rest of the night tending to it....
Claude: All night????
Ashton: Well, I couldn't get the bandage to stay on by itself!
Ashton pulls up his robe and pants, to reveal a bruise which has been covered with duct tape....
Ashton: The bandage could not stay in place, so I had to cover it with this....
Claude: You covered your leg with duct tape????
Precis: ....
Ashton: Well, I ran out of scotch!
Claude: ....
It's Bizarro World!
That's right! Have you ever seen that episode of superman where everything was BACKWARDS???? Well, take a look at the map of Expel through a mirror ---- or a map of EARTH through the mirror ---- and you'll see the similarity between the two!
This is MORE than a watershed discovery! MORE than a force to be reckoned with! THIS... is Bizarro World!!!!
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-Credits - Additional Characters-
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Delivery Guy........................................................................................................ George Highley
Mailman............................................................................................................... Greg O'Conner
Kenny Chard..................................................................................................... Michael Richards
Associate............................................................................................................. Bruce Campbell
Man....................................................................................................................... Homer Cosmo
Fay Moore................................................................................................................. Sinclair Rey
