Piccolo gets a Television

By Pixie

Piccolo decides to buy a TV, you know this can't be good...

Gohan and Piccolo were, you guessed it, sparring in the middle of nowhere! Gohan checked his watch and frowned.

"Shoot! I gotta go Mr. P! My favourite show is on TV in 15 minutes!" he said and shot off. Piccolo just stared at the spot where Gohan had been. Mr. P? What the hell was going on? Piccolo narrowed his eyes.

"It's got to be that TV, he's being brainwashed!" Piccolo said to himself. "It's always best to know one's enemy. I better get myself one of those things and learn it's attacks," he mused out loud. Then he took off and flew towards the city.

"Yeah I want one of those brainwashing TV things," Piccolo said.

"I beg your pardon sir, brainwashing? I don't believe they do that," the salesman said.

"Just give me one," Piccolo said crossing his arms.

"Very well. What kind of television are you looking for?" the man asked.

"There's more than one kind?" Piccolo asked, eyes widening slightly.

"Damn, where in the hell am I going to plug in this thing?" he wondered out loud and looked around.

"Can I use one of your electrical outlets?" Piccolo asked. Goku stared at him blankly. "The thing you plug appliances into," he said. Still nothing from Goku. "Can I just come in?" Piccolo asked sighing exasperatedly.

"Sure Piccolo," he said and stood back grinning.

"Moron," Piccolo muttered under his breath.

"Oh it's you. Why are you in our house?" Chi-Chi asked glaring at Piccolo.

"I just want to use that," he said pointing at the outlet.

"Oh the magical hole! Why didn't you just say so? Of course you can use it," Goku said. Piccolo looked at Chi-Chi.

"Magical hole?" he repeated. Chi-Chi's cheeks turned a little red.

"Goku doesn't really understand the concept of electricity," she said and stalked off into the kitchen. Piccolo hooked up all his stuff again and settled himself cross legged on the floor. Then he picked up his remote control and flicked on the TV.

A while later Gohan came downstairs.

"Hi Piccolo! Wow! What a cool TV! And sattelite too! Is it ours?" he exclaimed.

"No it's mine. Break it and I'll break you," Piccolo said.

"Can I watch with you? We only get one channel," Gohan asked plopping down beside him without waiting for an answer.

"Knock yourself out. Hey explain something to me. How come those kids never let that rabbit have any Trix? He gets so close every time and then they take the bowl away from him. Who do those little punks think they are? Maybe Trix isn't for kids!" Piccolo said. Gohan just laughed and shook his head. A couple of minutes later Chi-Chi poked her head into the room.

"Gohan, bed time!" she said. Gohan looked back at her with protest on his face.

"Aw mom. Can't I watch TV with Piccolo a little longer?" he asked.

"Absolutely not," she said firmly.

"But Mr. Piccolo isn't going to bed yet!" Gohan whined.

"He is now! Piccolo turn off that TV and go to bed this instant!" Chi-Chi said. Piccolo glared at her.

"You can't tell me what to do!" he said narrowing his eyes. She returned the glare.

"Your using our plug and running up our electricity bill! Now get your green butt into bed! Don't you know that staying up is bad for your health and makes you irritable? You can sleep in Gohan's room," she said. Piccolo didn't really want to sit and listen to her lecture him all night so he did as she said.

"Thanks a lot!" he hissed at Gohan as soon as Chi-Chi was out of hearing range.

"What'd I do?" Gohan asked.

"What'd you do? You dragged me into this! If you would've just gone to bed when your mom told you to then she wouldn't have started in on me!" Piccolo said. Gohan grinned sheepishly.

"Sorry, but now we get to have a sleepover!" he said brightly.

"Yipee," Piccolo muttered rolling his eyes. Gohan got out a futon for Piccolo to sleep on. "There you go," he said smoothing out the blankets. Piccolo sighed and got in. He'd pretend to be asleep until the coast was clear and then get back up and watch TV.

"So Mr. Piccolo, wanna play Truth or Dare?" Gohan asked. Piccolo rolled over so his back was to Gohan.

"I don't want to play anything. Go to sleep," he grumbled. Gohan pouted.

"But you have to play Truth or Dare when you have a sleepover. It's like a rule!" Gohan said. Piccolo looked at him over his shoulder.

"I don't know how. Now shut up and get in bed," he said, starting to get ticked off.

"Oh it's real easy! You go first, all you have to do is pick truth or dare," Gohan said sitting on his knees. Piccolo sighed, the kid probably wouldn't shut up until he went along with him.

"Fine, dare," he said.

"Okay, uhhhh, you have to...run around the house three times in your underwear!" Gohan said.

"WHAT? No way. I pick truth," Piccolo said. It'd be a cold day in July before he'd run anyplace in his underwear.

"Um, who do you like?" Gohan asked.

"What the hell kind of a retarded question is that?" Piccolo snapped.

"Aw c'mon! You have to like somebody!" Gohan said.

"Well I don't," Piccolo shot back.

"Yes you do! Everybody does," Gohan insisted.

"Oh really? Who do you like?" Piccolo asked.

"Nobody," Gohan replied, his cheeks turning red. Piccolo smirked.

"See?" he said. Then the door opened and Chi-Chi was standing there.

"AHA! I knew I heard voices! What do you think your doing keeping Gohan up all night? You green monster!" Chi-Chi yelled and whacked Piccolo with her frying pan.

"It wasn't me! I was trying to sleep but the little brat wouldn't leave me alone!" Piccolo yelled back. Chi-Chi looked to Gohan.

"Is that true?" she asked him. Gohan shook his head, trembling with fear.

"Why you lying little baka..." Piccolo didn't get out any more cause Chi-Chi whacked him on the head again.

"That's for trying to frame Gohan! Now get to sleep! BOTH OF YOU!" she screamed and left. Piccolo glared at Gohan.

"Your such a little wuss," he snarled and turned his back on him again.

"Hey Piccolo, what are ya watching?" Goku asked taking a seat next to him.

"It's called The Teletubbies, but I don't get it. They all popped out of a house in the middle and started running around with the rabbits, they almost stepped on a couple of them," he said. Goku peered at the screen.

"What are they doing?" he asked frowning. The little TV in the stomach of one turned on and the others all crowded around it. They watched a clip of some kids going nuts at a zoo. When it was over they all pouted and cried "Again! Again!"

"Good god! Not again! Once was bad enough!" Piccolo cried and covered his eyes.

"I don't know, I kind of wanted to see it again. So I could see all the things I missed the first time," Goku said thoughtfully. Piccolo stared at him.

"If you missed things on that stupid clip then you'd have to have to have the intellect of a three year old...oh wait never mind," he said.

"Hey Piccolo, how come there is a baby in the sun?" Goku asked.

"I don't know, but I don't like it," Piccolo said.

"Neither do I. Change the channel!" Goku exclaimed. Piccolo quickly did so. They flipped through the channels until they got to Spiderman.

"I wonder what his power level is?" Goku wondered out loud.

"Hah, we could take him easily," Piccolo said sneering and flipping the channels agian.

"Don't they ever stop singing or being happy?" Goku asked, starting to get a little frantic.

"What I want to know is, how come that Lucy chick is like 15 and she's still going to preschool? How dumb is she?" Piccolo asked.

"Hey that's a good point. I never thought of that before," Goku said scratching his head.

"Well there's obviously something wrong with you if you hang out with a talking, singing, stuffed dinosaur that does arts and crafts," Piccolo said and changed the channel.

"Hey dad, hey Mr. Piccolo," Gohan said shyly.

"Hiya son!" Goku grinned at him. Piccolo just gave him an icy glare and turned back to the television. Gohan cleared his throat.

"Um, I'm really sorry about last night. I should have told mom that it was my fault," Gohan said looking at his feet. Piccolo humphed and kept ignoring him. Gohan wisely decided to sit next to his dad. Piccolo changed the channel, Pokemon was on. Goku sat forward, his eyes bugging out of his head.

"COOL!" he said and stuck his face right up to the TV.

"Goku! Either get a haircut or get out of the way! Your hair is blocking the screen!" Piccolo barked. Goku backed off but didn't take his eyes off the TV. They watched Digimon after that. A while later Chi-Chi came in.

"Do you know where Goku went? He ran off yelling something about becoming a Pokemon Master and being one of the Digi-Destined," she said frowing. Gohan looked around, he hadn't even noticed his dad was missing, he'd been too absorbed in the X-Men. Piccolo put his head in his hands. "Goku you idiot," he muttered then looked back up at Chi-Chi, "He'll probably be gone for awhile. Until he figures out that there is no such thing as Pokemon." Chi-Chi gave him an odd look but seemed to accept this explanation. Sure enough around 8:00 PM Goku returned looking very deflated.

"Hey did you guys know that Pokemon aren't real? Neither are Digimon!" he said.

"Get out! Are you serious?" Piccolo asked sarcastically. Goku apparently didn't understand sarcasm either.

"Yeah, I asked like a million people but they all said..." Goku started to complain but Piccolo cut him off.

"Shhh! We're watching Buffy the Vampire Slayer! See she's this girl who kills vampires," Piccolo explained.

"Really?" Goku asked plopping down again.

"Woah! Hold the phone! How can the Flinstones meet the Jetsons? They live centuries apart!" Piccolo said indignantly.

"I don't know but I gotta see this!" Goku said stuffing his face with popcorn. Chi-Chi entered the room.

"All right that's it! You guys have been watching TV for the past three days straight! You havn't eaten, slept, or even trained! When your not training I know something's wrong! I think you guys need to turn it off and get outside for awhile," Chi-Chi said. Goku looked at her in horror.

"But Chi-Chi! The Flinstones are going to meet the Jetsons! I gotta see how they're going to do that! Please, just this movie?" he begged. Chi-Chi sighed.

"Fine, but that's it Goku!" she said.

Four hours later...

"GOKU! TURN OFF THAT TV RIGHT NOW!

"Aw Chi-Chi! We're watching Titanic! We just want to see the ship sink!"

Yeah I want to see all the people die, so far this movie is making me sick."

"We just want to watch the four Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movies. We already saw the entire cartoon series! Then we'll turn it off I swear."

"I want to see Vanilla Ice do the Ninja Rap!"

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" Goku and Piccolo both cried at the same time. Goku fell onto his hands and knees, pounding the floor with his fist.

"Why did you do that Chi-Chi? WHY?" he sobbed.

"YOU BITCH! Now we'll never know what happened to the Last Unicorn!" Piccolo screamed at her. Chi-Chi scoffed.

"Gee that's too bad," she said dryly. Gohan sniffled.

"I wanted to see the rest of the Star Wars Trilogy," he said dejectedly. Chi-Chi rolled her eyes.

"Darth Vader is really Luke's father and Leia is his sister," she said and walked off. Gohan looked at Piccolo wide eyed.

"Do you think that's true?" he asked. Piccolo snorted.

"Don't be such an idiot Gohan, she was obviously making it up," he said.