Welcome back to Phoenix’s world. It’s been a long time since I’ve written anything and I’m in the process of writing several other things, so I don’t know if this will be coming out before or after them. Well, this is just a sort of lament by the people who couldn’t have Darien. It’s been done before, I know, even by me, but I just felt the need to write it. . I mix the Japanese and American names just because I like certain ones better than others. Sorry if I offend any purists, don’t read on if so. Hope no one hates it, and maybe someone likes it. If you have any feelings about it, or if you even read it and feel that its mediocre, let me know at Marsfire01@aol.com. Barflies by: Phoenix Rei walked into the bar and looked for a good seat. She decided upon a table near the band when she saw a familiar figure sitting on a bar stool, sipping what looked to be a Screwdriver. She wondered over and sidled up next to the friend, who hadn’t noticed her, and ordered a straight tequila, flashing a license at the bar tender. Setsuna glanced at the voice she knew and was rather dumfounded. “Rei, you’re not 21!” “Hello to you too, Setsuna, and that’s what it says on my driver’s license.” Setsuna pondered this for a moment. “But Rei, you don’t drive!” “Shhh!” Rei looked at the befuddled Setsuna and noted that for a woman who had seen eternity, she was being a bit naïve. But Rei relented, Setsuna hadn’t dealt directly with the Senshi for over a Millennia, Rei supposed she was a bit rusty on what to expect. “So, what are you doing here anyway?” Rei asked the Time Keeper. “Shouldn’t I be asking you that, jailbait?” “Hey, I’m 18. True, I shouldn’t be here, but I can go home with whomever I like.” Setsuna rolled her eyes. “You always were the one getting into trouble, well, you and Jupiter, and the two of you were always pulling Serenity into your schemes. At least you left her out of this seedy activity.” “Oh come on, Pluto, “ Rei said as Setsuna shot her a look for using the alias, which Rei ignored, considering anyone listening were drunks anyway, “your being here isn’t any less ‘seedy’ as you like to call it then my presence, you’re just legal. Why are you here?” “Drowning my sorrows, you wouldn’t understand.” “Better than you know lady, I’m 18 and I spend half my time in bars. You think I’m doing it for my health?” Rei switched to rum and coke and sat in silence for a few moments with the mysterious woman, who had just become a little more human to Rei. “So, what, or who, are you drowning?” “Who is about right. But I can’t.” “Yeah, who am I gonna tell? I’m in the same sad state of affairs you are. Spill it.” “You wouldn’t believe me if I told you.” ”Try me.” “You’ll think I’m a traitor.” “Cross my heart I won’t.” Setsuna didn’t know why she was about to tell this young woman her inner most secret, whether it was the liquor, or just the fact that though she was gruff; she was easy to talk to. “I’m completely, madly, totally in love with the Prince.” Rei nearly laughed at her. “Who isn’t?” Setsuna looked stunned at her. She had expected a different reaction all together, not one of amusement. “You too?” “He’s a hard man to get over.” Silence took over again and they sipped their drinks, for the same reason. “What was it like?” “Huh?” “To be with him? To touch him, to have him touch you? What does he smell like?” Rei gulped down a pretty large swallow of rum and coke. She had come here to forget, not dredge up old memories, but here they came, uninvited. She remembered how he slid hid hand under her hair when he was about to kiss her, and the way he always had his hand on her knee when they would sit in a booth at restaurants. She recalled the smooth skin on his chest, sprinkled only with a few hairs and his breathy voice in her ear. Suddenly she was crying. “Roses. He forever smelled of roses. No big surprise when we found out who he was, but it was enchanting nonetheless.” “How did it end?” “It didn’t really. He didn’t remember any of us for a while, and then when he did, it was just not there anymore, except, there was no closure. We were so awkward around each other for so long, because neither one of us wanted to say we had something, and it was good, great even, but now there is this incredible cosmic force that makes what we had impossible. And I know, in my mind that that’s true and right, but my heart keeps nagging that it could have been me, but the past always come back to haunt you. And they are so happy, but now and then, just when we pass sometimes, not always, there’s something. I don’t know what, but it’s like a tiny fraction of a ghost of something that was never meant to be but was anyway.” Setsuna took all this in. “Well, at least you had him. At least you know. That’s something.” “I suppose you’ve heard the saying ‘It’s better to have loved and lost then to never have loved at all.’?” Setsuna nodded. “Well, it’s wrong. To feel what I felt then have it taken away, just to be shown what I would never have, is the worst feeling in the world. I would rather be numb, never know, then remember what I had and will never get back. And to know that I was first, but she is favored, and I cannot even have the satisfaction of hating her, because I love her and would die for her though she has killed me a thousand times. That’s not fair.” Rei watched as a teardrop slid down her nose and onto the ice cubes remaining in the bottom of her third drink. Setsuna shook her head. “To wonder your whole existence is hell, Rei. I will never know what it is to touch him, but I imagine. I will never know what it is to be touched by him, but I imagine. The only time I have been close enough to smell him is when I handed him his first baby girl, born of the woman who has and will forever keep me from him, a woman I was born to love. I spend every moment wondering: how warm his touch is, what his lips feel like, what he says to the woman he loves. And it drives me insane, to never know. I watch him, in his perfection, his tenderness, his wisdom, and know that I will watch him, and only watch, for eternity. That’s not fair.” Rei stirred her new drink, and Setsuna toyed with a pretzel, both pondering the other’s predicament, not really knowing which was worse. The bartender got ready to pour another round. Unrequited love, he found, was a profitable business.