Title: Shattered
Author: Mana Mostatabi
E-Mail: DreamzOfTerror@msn.com
Rating: PG-13
Web Site: http://www.geocities.com/usako27/

-------

Author's Note: Here's a little something I've been working on for
quite some time but never had enough motivation to finish. Summer's here and
that's enough motivation for me! :) There are some pretty adult situations 
in
this short story and younger audiences may not understand the metaphors and
euphmisms used. This is a far cry from ecchi-styled writing but I would 
still
have to say that if you feel uncomfortable in regards to either sex or
suicide than I recommend reading another story (preferably one of mine!) The
story isn't all that adult situated, but it may disturb some younger people
so please use your judgement.

As always, Sailor Moon and Company doesn't belong to me. I'm too poor
to own them anyway. I just like to borrow them for awhile to get the muses
working. :) So read on and enjoy!

*= Thinking
**=Flashback

-------

A lone figure stood upon the balcony outside as she watched the town
silently through night's darkness. The moonlight shone through her silk 
dress
causing it to be almost transparent. Wave after wave of ripples moved 
through
her skirts. Her hair had long lost its ribbons, and now blew free in the
breeze like a cascading waterfall up into the heavens. Her face glimmered
almost ethereal as the moon's glistening silver rays bounced off her pale
tear stained skin.

Lithe fingers covered with glittering emerald rings rested against her
neck. Sapphire earrings sparkled on her ear lobes, and expensive ruby
bracelets clasped tightly onto her small wrists. Smaller gold bracelets
chimed against each other quietly. They meant nothing.

However, resting against her slender throat was a very simple crystal
necklace. A thin golden chain held a small crescent shaped charm. She 
stroked
the necklace lovingly with her long fingers, memorizing each ridge and bump

Faint notes of music drifted from the grand ballroom inside toward the
small balcony outside. Turning her head, the sudden level of light blinded
her. As her eyes adjusted, she saw the caterers collecting their things and
straightening the mess made after the grand assembly acknowledging the one
year anniversary of the death of Crystal Tokyo's King.

Everyone had long left or gone to bed. Only a few remaining residents
of the Crystal Palace were left awake. Yet, the soft sad music on the stereo
continued to play, reminding everyone of what had been lost.

Turning back to the crystal city that now belonged entirely to her,
the Queen of Crystal Tokyo felt a familiar pain evade her broken heart; no
more solid than a shattered crystal. She felt the jagged shards of her heart
ripping the walls of her chest. Her breath caught inside her slender throat
and she struggled to breath. Gripping the railing tightly she pressed her
stomach against it in attempts to numb the pain.

"Serenity-sami?" A soft voice called to the woman who leaned against
the balcony. No soft-spoken response drifted back.

The raven-haired woman walked forward, her short red skirt blowing in
the gentle breeze.

"Serenity-sami?"

Silence was the fire priestess's only answer. Sighing she gently
wrapped an arm around her friend's cold bare shoulder.

"Usagi-chan... please, listen to me."

"I can't live without him."

The sentence breathed with aggrieved sentiment. Nodding, she gently
brushed blonde strands away from the queen's face. "You can."

"I won't."

"Usagi-chan, you don't understand, this city, YOUR city, these
people... they need their Queen back."

"You and Ami-chan are ruling well."

"Yes, but- it is not our destiny. It's yours." She argued back.

A tear griped its way down Usagi's wet cheek. "I love Mamoru,
Rei-chan." She sobbed as she buried her face into her hands. The rings
bruised her face as she slammed her fingers into the tender flesh.

Rei wiped a few stray tears from her own face and shook her head
sadly. She couldn't do this anymore. She had been comforting her friend for
the past year. She and Ami-chan had taken over the rule until Serenity- 
until
Usagi- could once again take the reins. The two senshi never expected to be
ruling for more then a few months, but here they were one year later still
ruling Usagi's kingdom.

All "her highness" did these days was live in her chambers with the
memory of her Mamo-chan. She had approached Usagi's room a few times, only 
to
hear her anguished sobs. To put it plainly, Usagi had stopped living. She
didn't leave the palace. She barely talked to anyone. She never stopped 
being
the caring person she had always been, there was just that missing aura. It
was as if the heat had left her body. That spark that kept her alive... it
was gone.

Rei sighed in exasperation. Her patience was wearing thin.

"Usagi- listen to me. Mamoru was an admirable person. He was an
excellent ruler. He loved you with all his heart and soul. But, you have to
accept that he is gone and will not return. He wouldn't want you to stop
living because he has joined the ranks of the gods. Remember that."

Usagi heard Rei's footsteps echo against the marble floor as she left
the stone balcony. Silence. She heard her own shallow breathing as her chest
rose and fell. She watched the glittering jewelry on her hands and fingers
catch the light of the moon.

The Kings of neighboring galaxies had given the jewelry to her as
gifts. It would have been rude if had she not worn it, and rudeness under no
circumstance was acceptable. Usagi knew that she was now game for all the
perverted royals in the Universe to hit on. She had seen every eligible King
at the memorial assembly looking at the widowed Neo-Queen Serenity 
lustfully.
It was sick how they carried on, flirting and laughing at the one-year
anniversary of...

It didn't help that more kings and nobles had proposed to her within
the first three months after Mamoru's death then there were days in the 
year!

The wind began to blow a bit harder now. Looking down at her city, she
became aware of the great height of the balcony. The thought of ending the
pain in her heart lingered in her mind... how sweet it would be to feel that
rush of darkness. That sense of freedom. The end.

How good it would feel just to know it was the end.

So deep was this goddess in thought, she never heard the footsteps
behind her. She never heard the whisper of disbelief. She never knew of a
presence until a gentle pair of arms were wrapped around her waist.

Usagi's eyes widened as a familiar warmth enveloped her. "Mamo-chan?"
She whispered hopefully as she turned around only to be greeted by a pair of
blue eyes that were not Mamoru's.

She wrenched herself out of these stranger's arms agonizingly, only to
hear a pained voice.

"Usagi..."

Glancing back up her face froze in shock. Seiya.

"Kou Seiya? Seiya-san?" She breathed barely between parted lips.

"Yes Odango."

The familiar nickname broke her heart all over again.

"No!! No one but Mamoru is allowed to call me by that name!" She
shrieked harshly. She pushed away the man and hurled herself toward the
balcony edge but a pair of strong arms caught her.

"Usa! I'm sorry Usagi-chan. Please forgive me." He whispered as he
held her tightly in his arms.

Pulling away, Usagi hugged herself in attempts to stay warm. Seiya
looked at her sadly. He took off the heavy jacket he was wearing and offered
it to the shivering blonde. "Here Usagi. I think you should head in side-
it's freezing out here. You could catch-"

"What do you want Seiya?" Usagi interrupted. She knew she was being
rude. This was the first time she had seen her friend in so many years 
and...

Breathing a sigh, Usagi nodded. "Yes. Let's go inside."

Inside the two friends sat in a small hall. The servants brought the
two some tea. Seiya's cup of tea was quickly gone but Usagi sat in silence
looking at the brown liquid in her cup. Not one drop of the warm liquid
passed through her pale lips.

Seiya studied Usagi carefully. Her azure eyes were blank as they
stared into the mug. Dark hollows had been worn under her beautiful eyes 
from
a lack of sleep. Her hair remained thick and tangled; it tumbled down her
back in knots and gnarls. She had grown thin and pale. He glanced toward the
cup in her hands and noticed that it was quivering- Usagi's hands were
shaking.

"Serenity-sami, your hands are shaking. Are you okay?"

Looking up, the Queen's eyes remained blank and confused. "What?" she
whispered.

"Are you okay Serenity-sami?"

The young woman bit her quivering lip. "Usagi."

"What?" Seiya was becoming very confused.

"My name is Usagi."

"I'm sorry Usagi-chan. I didn't know what name you went by these
days."

Usagi's cerulean eyes began to sparkle with tears and her hands began
to shake once more. The cup began to tip and Seiya watched as it fell to the
floor. The porcelain cup shattered upon impact. The brown liquid seeped into
the hand-woven carpet underneath their feet.

Burying her face into her hands she erupted into tears.

"Please Usa- don't cry. I know your hurting. I know Usagi." He
whispered. "I know your Mamoru is dead Usagi. I'm here to help please...
please let me help you."

Her body shook violently. "He's gone Seiya! Forever! They took him!!"

Seiya, who didn't know how Neo-King Endymion had died, leaned closer
to Usagi. "Who did Usa? How did he die? It might help... to... to talk
about
it."

"I've talked Seiya! I've cried! Screamed! But all the screaming and
crying and talking in this world can't bring him back to me! Nothing can."

Seiya looked at her, tears glittering in his own blue eyes. "What
happened Usa?"

Biting her lower lip she closed her eyes as more tears fell. The long
lashes that framed her eyes clumped together damply.

"The war destroyed us. We thought it was over. We thought that... that
they were all gone. But they weren't. Now," She stopped and looked at Seiya

tearfully, "They never will be. Their legacy will always be here in Crystal

Tokyo... as will their names."

"I don't understand Usa-chan. Who?"

"Kuro Yome."

Seiya's eyes widened in surprise. "Black Dreams..." He whispered under

his breath.

Nodding Usagi wiped her eyes. "Yes. They are a large rebellious group
against Crystal Tokyo. They are... were greatly against our rule, but we
have never had much trouble with them. My own feeling is that they will give
birth to the future children of Nemesis."

"The... Black Moon ne?" Seiya asked.

"Yes." Usagi sighed wistfully. "Then they began attacks. Numerous
ones
with power as we had never seen. At first, Kuro Yome looked like an 
organized
crime ring. They attacked children, murdered men, raped women. Breaking into
homes and stealing where ever they went. They did all they could to bring
chaos to our peaceful city."

Seiya nodded in understanding. Black bangs sweeped across his sweat
soaked forehead as he leaned in to catch Usagi's quiet whispers.

"Then, we began to receive odd letters in the mail that we did not
associate with the Kuro Yome. They weren't exactly threat notes..." Usagi's

voice trailed off. "More as if they were sealing a sort of destiny they
were
sure of. A destiny I didn't know of." She paused for a moment in pain then
whispered. "That I still don't understand."

Seiya raised a tan hand to his eyes and quickly wiped them.

Usagi continued, deep in thought. "Mamoru and I had more guards posted
throughout town. We placed many of our own personal guards within the
city."

She sighed sadly. "But, more men were found dead. More woman laying in
ditches along town and more crying children clutching their torn dolls to
their chests."

"Usagi-chan... You should have known to keep the guards close to you
and-"

"No Seiya-san. As Queen it is my responsibility to put my people and
their needs ahead of me and my needs. It is better for one Queen- one 
person-
to die who has killed hundreds of yaouma and banished thousands more, then
for millions and millions of innocent people."

Seiya shook his head. Even in the midst of war, Usagi still put
herself as the last priority. Still he grasped her theory. "Yes Usagi-chan.

Sorry... I did not understand your responsibility."

She laughed sardonically. "Not many people do."

Seiya bit his lip to keep his emotions in check. Unknown to him, a dam
was slowly eroding in his heart.

"Soon Kuro Yome began to attack the palace. They easily broke through
our castle barriers and were able to raid the palace. Their powers were
unbelievable. When the last guard had fled and my last Senshi had fallen
injured I brought out our last hope- the Silver Crystal."

"And... then?"

"I used it as a last resort. Our barriers, guards, and even my
invincible senshi had fallen. I was forced to use the Silver Crystal to the
utmost of its power; it left me drained of strength for days. Many of Kuro
Yome fled immediately. Some were killed. Others begged pardon and were
cleansed free of their sins."

"Then what was the problem? It was all over, ne?"

Usagi's eyes blazed with blue fire. "No! It had just begun!"

She quieted. "Although we had banished, cleansed, or killed all of the
Kuro Yome gang- we never found their leader."

"Leader?" Seiya breathed.

"Yukiro." Her eyes blazed with hatred. The sudden negative vibe in the

room startled Seiya. He had never known Usagi to be so vengeful. To be so
hate filled.

"We never found him. We made the mistake of assuming he had fled with
the rest of the cowards." Stopping she looked into her hands shamefully.
"It
was the biggest mistake I've ever made in my entire life- and it cost
Mamoru's."

A sudden realization slapped Seiya in the face hard.

"One month to the day the Kuro Yome surrendered, we held a ceremony
honoring those killed. Our city had once again begun to flourish." Tears
began to well up in her eyes once more.

"That night while Mamoru was in the study I heard a noise come from
within. It wasn't Mamoru's mumbling as he worked through the figures and
numbers, but more of.." Usagi rubbed her temples as she thought of a word
to
describe the noise. "More of a drawn out gasp- a frightened gasp."

Usagi's bottom lip began to quiver tremendously. "I ran into the study
to see Yukiro. He was standing in front of Mamoru and was aiming a small,"
Usagi's voice broke and the rest she sobbed out, "a small gun at Mamoru's
head. I brought out the Silver Crystal... and while I was summoning its
power- it stopped."

"Stopped?"

"The light. It's aura. No more power vibrated within it. It rose in
the air for one last time- then shattered. I had no other way of defending
myself- or Mamoru! I stood there and watched the gun change direction. I
remember every word he spat at me before he shot the gun."

"'You- bitch, you took away my freedom. You killed my men. Turned a
whole lot of them into a worthless batch of pansies. Victory was finally
within our grasp- HE had made sure of that. And you took it all away- now
I'll take away everything from you!' Yukiro then aimed the gun at me. I 
heard
a shot and I knew that everything I had ever worked for was about to
disappear- the Champion of Love and Justice to be killed by a common weapon.
Ironic really. "

Seiya waited for the rest as she paused.

"The pain never came- the explosion that I waited for. I heard a
strangled pant and looked down, Mamoru was laying at my feet, blood spewing
from his head and mixing into his beautiful hair." Usagi's voice broke with

emotion. "He took the bullet for me."

Seiya remained silent as Usagi began to openly sob. He watched her
suffering; he watched as her heart ripped apart; he watched as she
desperately tried to cling to the only man she had ever loved. But through
all this, he couldn't help but want to cry himself. Most of it obviously
because King Endymion was indeed dead and because of Usagi's suffering, but 
a
small dark sliver in his heart wanted to cry for himself.

Picking himself up he walked across the room and sat himself next to
Usagi quietly. He gingerly embraced her, fully expecting her to violently
pull away as she had outside but she only leaned into him and continued to
cry.

*God,* Seiya thought, *I want to take your pain away so much Usagi.
But you won't let me will you? You won't let anyone.*

The only noise in the room was Usagi's quiet sobs as she clung to
Seiya. He felt something digging into his flesh and as he looked down he saw
it was the numerous rings around Usagi's fingers. He scrunched up his face 
in
thought; he had never known Usagi to wear so much jewelry. He didn't even
think she owned anything like the crystals gleaming on her fingers.

Usagi's tears stopped after a long while. Seiya stroked her hair as
she buried her face into his chest. A mumbled sound emerged from Usagi's
lips.

"What?"

Usagi rose her swollen face from his chest and looked into Seiya's
eyes.

"I said thank you." She whispered again.

A smile pulled at the corners of Seiya's lips. "Usagi, you have always
been one of my best friends. You, you're one of the most caring, beautiful,
trusting people I have ever met. I should be thanking you... I've never 
known
a mortal angel."

Usagi's heart stopped.

* ...I've never known a mortal angel.*

She could still hear his voice saying the same phrase as they lay in
bed together. He would stroke her hair, and whisper that into her ear. His
fingers would gently trace the shape of her lips and softly run across her
dark lashes.

Usagi stared into the face of the man embracing her. His eyes were so
blue... his hair so dark... his face contorted so worriedly... so lovingly.
Seiya stared back at the beautiful women in his arms, loving the way she was
looking at him. The silence between them sung quietly.

Slowly raising a finger, Usagi stroked it softly over Seiya's lips.
His eyes opened in shock for a moment before a surge of love washed through
him. He watched her trace his jaw gently with her hand, watched her explore
the rest of his face with her small fingers. Seiya brushed a couple strands
of hair behind her ear, enjoying the feel of her tender skin beneath his
hand.

Their eyes locked. Seiya watched as Usagi moved her face toward his,
her eyes slowly closing, her hand gently turning his face to the side. His
eyes closed and he waited blissfully for what he had dreamed of every night
since the day he met Usagi.

Two pairs of lips met that night in the middle of Neo-Queen Serenity's
palace. But the lips didn't belong to a queen or to a delegate from another
planet. They belonged to a young teenage girl named Usagi and an older man
named Seiya.

He brought his hand up to Usagi's face and pulled her closer. His
hands traveled to the small of her back as she clasped her arms around his
neck.

Seiya couldn't help but think how good Usagi was at this. Then it
struck him. She had done this over and over with someone else.

Breaking away from her, Seiya held Usagi at arms length. His lips
ached with the sudden loss.

"Usagi... we can't do this; you're too vulnerable. It's not right."

She breathed heavily as she pulled him closer. Placing a seductive
kiss on his lips she looked into his eyes. Seiya looked back surprised at 
the
desire in her eyes. He had never seen her like this; he had always known her
as an innocent, naïve, spirit. But she was the seductress now... and he was
dangerously close to letting her finish the job.

"We- we..." Seiya spoke as Usagi kissed his jaw. "We can't-"
Usagi
placed a kiss on his neck. "We can't d- do this. It's- it's not
right." Seiya
forced himself to say as Usagi placed another kiss on his cheek.

Usagi answered only by closing the gap between them and kissing him
once more while sliding a hand up his shirt and over his well muscled chest.

"I need you." Usagi whispered into his ear while his arms enveloped
her. "I need you now." She breathed as his hands ran up her back.
Without
another word, Seiya picked her up into his arms and walked into the room
Usagi pointed him into.

The night hours flew by in fervors of passion; a jumble of mingling
bodies and lips. Promises and pleas echoed off the stone walls of the room 
as
new heights were discovered. As the intensity died down, heavily spent
figures lay in each other's arms left to dream of the stars they reached.

-------

As dawn broke through the night, sending out the angels to sing the
stars away, Seiya woke up with a sense of dread in his stomach.

"How could I do this?" he whispered in disbelief as the sleeping
blonde in his arms nestled her head on his shoulder. He looked down at her;
she was so beautiful. Her hair was strewn over them both, her body rose and
fell softly underneath the sheets. He could feel her bare body snuggled
against his.

There was no question that the night they had spent was passionate,
even magical; they had flown to the moon and back a million times. They had
been as intimate as is humanly possible. She had given her a part of him, 
and
he her.

But how could he have allowed it to happen?

"I took advantage of her; she was so vulnerable and she needed someone
so bad... and I took advantage of that." He examined the room as the sun's
rays broke through the windows. He could plainly tell that this was Usagi's
living quarters. As his eyes wandered the room his gaze stopped on a picture
on the dresser.

Mamoru. His blue eyes, his dark hair, his tall build.

"Oh no," Seiya cringed. "Oh God no. Usagi..." his voice
trailed off as
he looked back down at the slumbered angel. His vision blurred as he gently
got out of bed. He quickly began to dress and as he pulled on his pants,
Usagi stirred.

"Mmm... good morning." She whispered to him as a small smile played on

her lips. Looking up she saw a subdued-looking Seiya dressing.

"Dressing already? Just because the moon's rays are dead doesn't have
mean the passion has to die..." Usagi suggested. She sat up in bed, the
sheets falling from her lithe form, once again exposing Seiya to her all. 
She
crawled off the bed and stood in front of him, never blushing as he quickly
took her in. She pressed her body to his and gently kissed his bare chest.

He pushed her away gently. "Usagi, what we had last night, what we...
did, it was-"

"Beautiful." Usagi interrupted as she hugged him close.

He pushed aside the feelings to let it all go and to simply just get
whisked away again. "No Usagi."

She looked at him in confusion.

"I mean, what we had last night was amazing, fantastic, incredible.
But beautiful, is what happens between two people who love each other Usagi.
And I love you. Love you more than I've ever loved anything, but you, you
still love Mamoru. Am I right?"

Usagi looked at him then closed her eyes.

"I'm not sure why you did this Usagi, but I know it's not because you
love me."

Usagi pulled away and quietly reached for an oversized shirt sitting
over the top of a chair; she suddenly felt overly naked.

"Was this just an indulgence Usagi?"

**Usagi rose her swollen face from his chest and looked into Seiya's
eyes. "I said thank you." She whispered again.**

"A need to feel loved again?"

**"I need you." Usagi whispered into his ear while his arms enveloped
her. "I need you now."**

"A need to feel loved the way Mamoru loved you?"

**"I should be thanking you... I've never known a mortal angel."**

"What is it Usagi? Do you see Mamoru in me?"

**His eyes were so blue... his hair so dark... **

Usagi let out a loud sob as she threw herself against the bed. "I'm
sorry! I'm sorry Seiya!" She cried out. "I'm so sorry! I don't know
what to
do anymore." She continued to sob.

Seiya looked at her, his heart ached for her, but he couldn't be her
comfort toy.

"Usagi."

Her cries stopped as she looked up at him.

"Usagi," he said again, "I will always love you. I will always be
your
friend. I will always be there when you need someone to lean on." Seiya
pulled on his shirt and continued, "But what I won't be, Usagi, is your
indulgence. No one can be."

Seiya grabbed his shoes from the corner of the room and slid them on.
"I have to go back home Usagi; I promised my brothers I'd be home last
night,
they must be out of their minds by now." Seiya laced up his shoes and
walked
toward the door.

Usagi looked at him silently.

He turned back to gaze at her. "I'll always be there for you if ever
you need a friend Usagi." Seiya paused. "A friend."

Seiya pulled open the door and gave her a sad smile. "You'll get
through this Usagi, I know you will; and when you do, you'll be able to live
again. Mamoru, always loved you Usagi, and he loves you right now. If he
could give his life to a million more bullets for you, he would."

She sat blankly gazing into nowhere.

"Mamoru was your first love Usagi. He'll be you're first love forever,
no one can or wants to try to take his place. You are so emotionally bruised
right now that you don't see it, but one day Usagi, you'll realize it. 
You'll
realize it."

Gazing at her, sitting on the bed, her eyes swollen, her face
tear-stained her lips bruised, was too much. Seiya turned his head away from
her.

"Good bye Usagi."

She listened to his footsteps disappearing down the hall. Reaching up
a hand to wipe a stray tear, a ring scratched at her face harshly. Looking
down, she saw six rings gleaming on six fingers.

Usagi made her way to the balcony and as she stepped onto the deck,
she caught sight of Seiya below leaving the palace.

Slowly taking off the rings she placed them on a table beside her.
Picking up one she held it to the light and a sneer crossed her face. 
Looking
around she saw a fairly large rock laying on the ground beside her.

"This," she whispered, "is for my kingdom." She smashed the
ring
underneath the rock and hurled it as far as she could.

"This, this one is for all who suffered during Kuro Yome's reign."
Another smash as a second ring flew far past the walls of the palace.

"This one is for my Sensei." Usagi picked up another ring from the
pile.

"This one, is for you Seiya!" She called down to no one.

Two rings remained. Reaching to pick up another one, she stopped for a
moment and looked into the sky. "This one is for you Mamo-chan."

One ring was left. She picked up a diamond studded ring and studied it
for a moment. "And this one!" She yelled as loud as she could.
"THIS ONE,THIS
ONE'S FOR ME!"

Picking up the stone for the last time she brought it down heavily
upon the gem. The diamond shattered. Drawing her arm back she tossed the
broken ring as far as she could, her arm burning with the sensation of
overexertion.

The final ring fell to the ground as the shattered diamond disappeared
into the dust. She had lived this past year clinging to a memory; loving a
ghost. She thought that the ghost would always haunt her, reappear at her
highest times, only to make them the lowest. But now one year and one day
later, the ghost had shattered.

Usagi gazed down at where Seiya had been. "I know what you mean. Good
bye Seiya." She whispered softly as her eyes scanned her empire below.

**Looking down at her city, she became aware of the great height of
the balcony. The thought of ending the pain in her heart lingered in her
mind... how sweet it would be to feel that rush of darkness. That sense of
freedom. The end.

How good it would feel just to know it was the end.**

Shaking her head at the thoughts, Usagi left the balcony for her
bedroom. As she walked inside, the stone she had used to smash the rings
teetered on the edge of the railing for a few moments. A strong gust of wind
swept underneath the rock before it fell.

And finally shattered.

-------

Comments? Questions? E-mail me at: DreamzOfTerror@msn.com or visit my page 
at:
http://www.geocities.com/usako27/

:)