To be. . . . Part: 1/1 By: Loralei Fairhill Rated: PG Genre: AR *blink* *blink* *blink* *blink *blink* *blink* ::Lunar journal supplemental, 52nd day of travel:: @theday'spoem@ I know that they whisper about me, their words falling like dead leaves to the hard, cold ground. "Her mark," they say, "is of the devil." So suspicious, so demented. They cannot see past the façade of the crescent moon on my forehead. Hated and scorned, I have fled to the remote corners, where their words made of knives can cut me no longer. @end@ Do you know how it feels to have your world knocked out from under you, like a cheap card castle that's been toppled by taking just one card out from the bottom row? Well, I do. I have this endless empty feeling in my body, like my soul's been sucked out and taken somewhere far, far away. . . . Which is not an all together false statement. I have no soul now; I left it with him. They banished me, and I ran. I left and traveled as far as my weary, weak legs would take me. And when I could walk no more, when the blisters and sores became too much to bear, I used what little money I had to get a transport far away from this world. I want to be somewhere peaceful so badly. But my serenity's been shattered, and there's no going back. I wasn't shunned for a crime. I could never willingly harm another creature. I wasn't sent away for causing trouble. Heaven knows how reclusive I'd been while living there. No, I was banished because of the others' prejudice. They judged me completely upon my appearance, which is not normal in the least. All right, so I might have avoided the issue for a time by dressing the same as everyone else. Unfortunately, money circumstances dictated that I didn't have enough to afford the clothes that they all wore. So I had to make due with my gowns. Yes, gowns. I am a princess, after all. And they resented that. They thought I flaunted it by wearing those beautiful dresses, when in reality, I only wanted to fit in and be like them. And there was the problem of my mark. My crescent moon mark that adorns my forehead. Even had I worn the same clothes as them, my mark would have distinguished me, and they would have hated me just the same for being different. But it wasn't just those outward appearances that made them focus their rage on me. It was the simple fact that I fell in love with one of their kind, and he loved me back. Oh, he was beautiful . . . with raven hair that fell into his midnight blue eyes just so . . . and he had the sweetest smile that he saved only for me . . . but his kisses . . . they were like . . . chocolate, but better, and every time we touched our lips, it felt like our hearts were merging, becoming one. Every time our fingers brushed, I could feel the magnetic power pulling me towards him. We were destined. They knew that, we knew that, but they didn't care. And we were torn asunder by their wretched courts when they forbid me to see him again and promised that if I was ever seen on the planet I would be killed at first sight. I don't understand that world. I can't see why a person who only wishes to be happy and help others is shunned and hated in their society. Is it so wrong to love someone? Is it a crime to be different from them and yet, be so similar? I know that we are not so different, they and I. We want the same thing: to be loved. Regretfully, they don't consider me human enough to love just because I am not of their world. To be a princess of the moon in this universe is truly the greatest burden and curse a creature was ever asked to carry. If anyone said to me, "I would gladly trade places with you," I would have to refuse their offer and answer that the person could never want to be me. Being me is awful. I cannot even bear the sight of my own face anymore. I've even taken all the mirrors out of my chambers on this ship so I won't have to look at my own image. Perhaps this little "vacation" will do me good. Maybe I should never have loved him. But I can't renounce the fact that I do, and I'm positive I always will. In time, he will . . . forget me, I hope-- *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* *bang* ::to be continued in a moment-- temporary computer shut down:: "Who is it?" I ask tentatively. I am expecting no one tonight, especially not this late. By Earth time, which I have grown quite accustomed to using, it is about 1 a.m. in the morning. A gruff voice on the other side of the door replies, "Endymion. Let me in, I must speak with you." I fall back onto my bed, astonished that he is here. I was trying to forget him. I had hoped he'd do the same. . . . "Serenity!" he calls, "Open the door, for G-d's sake! I look like a fool standing out here in this deserted corridor by myself, speaking to a closed door--" "Well, then," I say, interrupting him effectively and dragging him into my room unceremoniously. "Where are you going?" he asks me, his voice now tender. "I had thought that you would be staying on my planet for some time. . . ." I stare at him incredulously. "How could I? You know very well that they banished me! I am under orders to be murdered if I so much as set foot on the Earth!" I say. Perhaps he was half asleep during the court proceedings? I think. "I know," he answers quietly. "But that doesn't mean a thing. We could have gone together--" "I would never have asked you to give up your whole world just for me, Endy!" I cry. "And had you so much as hinted to anybody that you were following me, it would have put you in grave danger!" He takes a small step towards my shaking form. I know I appear upset at the fact that he is here with me, that he has followed me in my punishment, putting himself in the same position as I am in. He knows that I don't want him to have to bear this with me, but he doesn't care, for in this moment, I think he only knows that I need him, and he needs me. He takes another step, closing the distance between our bodies, and he reaches out one strong hand and clasps my shoulder in his grip, willing his strand of conscious to intertwine with mine, comforting me. I only stare and stare into his eyes, my vision never wavering from those orbs of endless blue that captivate me. I feel his passion and love running through me, thrumming in my veins, and I answer the calling of his power with one of my own. Without even thinking twice, I make the distance between our bodies nonexistent by rushing into his embrace. His arms fold about me and all thought flies out the window and into the space beyond that the ship is traveling through. "To quote a learned Earth playwright," he says, "and I know this is very clich‚, but I'm going to recite it to you anyway. Moliere's Clitandre from The Learned Ladies says to his Henriette, I welcome any fate which you will share, and any fate without you, I couldn't bear.'" And I reply, "But you forget what she says in answer, Endy. So speaks the reckless heart of love; but let's be prudent, sir, and thus avoid regrets.' She is much like me in this case, I fear." My vision wavers as a tear drops down my cheek. My eyes start to cloud up with them, my once solid resolve being shattered. He tightens his hold on me, and whispers gently, "Would you really have it that way, my beautiful Serenity?" I slowly shake my head no. I could never be without him and live; I see the truth of the matter now. I thank G-d that he sent my love to me here . . . For if he never came, I might have actually found out what it would be like to live with only half a soul, to be incomplete.