Stairway to Heaven
Book 2: "To the edge of eternity . . ."
By: Loralei Fairhill
Rated: PG-13
Genre: AR



     Two points of light converged on a plane of dark; 
their meeting created a single sphere. Others saw their 
joining and came to follow them, merging with the 
original two until the points of light became a beam. 
This beam grew and traveled downward, slowly descending 
to an earthbound moon-maiden's bedroom, where it sought 
to bring her peace and cleanse her of her nightmares. . . .
     
     "Kenji-papa?" Usagi asked tearfully from where she stood 
in the doorway of the shogun's spacious room. She looked at 
him through glassy eyes as his artful hands beckoned her forward
to his bedside.
     "Usagi-chan, why do you weep?" he asked gently. She moved 
closer to him, taking small, timid steps until he could reach out 
and clasp her hands within his own. He looked earnestly into
her saddened face. "Usagi-chan . . .?" he prompted.
     She slowly removed her left hand from his grasp and started to 
fiddle with the embroidered blanket covering the cherry-wood 
bed and concealing the shogun's deflated form. "You know the 
reason that I weep, Kenji-papa," she said, bowing her head 
respectfully. "It is for you that I cry these tears."
     He stretched his long fingers towards her face and tipped it 
towards him so he could see her shining blue eyes. "You should 
not do such a thing. I am unworthy of your grief," he replied.
"Onegai, Usagi-chan, shed no more tears for me," he pleaded.
     "Naze?" she asked curiously. "It is a filial daughter's duty 
to mourn when her oto-san is ill, and when he is dying, it is even 
more important. I hope only to make the spirits see how loved
you are, so that they will love you as I have when you go to live 
with them," she told him seriously, her brow furrowed in 
genuine worry.
     "Usagi-chan," he said, "I am honored by your reverence 
towards me, and for your high aspirations of showing the 
spirits your love for me, I thank you, but I truly wish you 
wouldn't. It is my destiny to live among the tortured ones in 
jigoku for the things I have done in my life."
     "Iie, oto-san," she contradicted, "shinji nai! It cannot be true! 
You are the most wonderful person to me in all the world. 
Even Ikuko-mama does not treat me the way you do; with you, I
feel I can always be myself, always be the musume you desired 
all your life. When you leave this world, I want to know 
that you are being provided for and rewarded, not hated and 
punished!"she cried passionately.
     "I would that all the beautiful things you say about me were 
right, demo . . . I cannot on good conscience let you believe those 
lies." 
     Usagi made as if to interrupt him, gesturing wildly with her 
hands, and opening her mouth, but he stopped her by holding 
up his forefinger in a warning motion.
     "Don't try to stop me from telling you this. It is imperative 
that you know my faults, and because I know Ikuko will never 
tell you . . . I must speak out myself. If I were to . . ." he drew in
a sharp breath, "die . . . before I thought you knew what I am 
about to tell you, my fate on the other side would surely be sealed 
as one who lied and one who murdered to achieve happiness."
     "I don't understand," she protested. "Why do you want me to 
cease my prayers? It is for your own good that I say them . . . 
and I refuse to believe that you are a liar and a murderer. The
oto-san I see before me could never want to forcefully take 
another's life!" she told him, disbelief shadowing her bright, 
endlessly blue eyes. 
     She searched deep into his tawny brown gaze, trying to make 
sure it wasn't his sickness that made him talk in such a way. 
Finding that it wasn't, that he was telling her the truth, she
gasped, and gave herself up to his wishes by bowing her head 
once more in consent.
     "All right. Now, where to begin?" he pondered quietly 
to himself.
     "I have heard it said, Kenji-papa, that it is always best to 
start at the beginning," she said sagely, nodding her bent head.
     "Very well," he agreed. "That is sound advice from one so 
young." He drew in a shaking breath. "This story is much like 
the otogibanashi that your servants have told you on holidays, so
I suppose that you could say the first part of my tale begins with 
my marriage to Ikuko. We were happy, so very happy, for the 
first few years of our life together. Kami-sama rained good fortune
upon our heads, and we were wealthy and prosperous, much like 
we are now. My inherited position as shogun kept us safe within 
these walls, and I ruled as military leader through my heads of the 
different parts of our army and navy. It was quite a peaceful existence,
unfortunately, there was one flaw. Also as in many of the otogibanashi 
you no doubt have heard, we could have no children. However, 
unlike your stories, Usagi-chan, we went about obtaining a
child by more practical means than a majo or a yosei. We 
hired someone to help us," he paused, gauging his adopted 
daughter's reaction.
     "So?" she prompted, wanting to hear the rest. "Your story 
sounds normal enough to me. What fault could the spirits 
find in a person who wanted children and paid someone to help
them? Surely that is how Ikuko-mama gave birth to me; the 
tetsudai was very skilled, and you finally received the 
blessing of a child."
     "No, musume, that is not how the tetsudai worked. He 
was . . ." the shogun paused, trying to find the right word 
for the boy's father. "He was an ansatsusha, a hired mercenary, 
bound to find a child and steal it away from its rightful 
parents." He stopped again, exerting a great effort towards his 
search for a reaction from Usagi. Finding her face as immovable 
as stone, he continued on. "Not just any child. Our child had 
to be special. I read a poem once in an obscure and costly book 
about the child of the moon-beams, the daughter of the stars. 
I wanted this special girl for my own, for Ikuko and I to raise 
as our musume. So we charged our ansatsusha with the arduous 
task of seeking her out and taking her away to be with us. In 
the process, however, I found that the one whom I had hired 
did not work as cleanly as I had hoped. He had . . . an unnatural 
blood-lust. He ended up killing the child's parents as well as 
some of the guards and servants in the palace that he stole her from.
     "When I found out about the crimes he had committed, there 
was nothing left for me to do but pay him off, take the child, 
and have him followed. He was killed on the Tokaido Road,
cut down like the rushes on the shore are to make cheap paper 
for the scribes. I made sure that the whole affair was mostly 
bloodless so as not to arouse any suspicions of nearby citizens."
     "I still don't see why that is so wrong. You gave up the child 
in remorse, did you not, and sent it to be raised with a family who 
did not have its hands dirty with the life-blood of others. And then 
Ikuko was able to have me--"
     "Iie, Usagi-chan," he interrupted. "She didn't give birth to 
you. She didn't carry her in her womb for nine months. She 
didn't even ever hold you as a baby. Iie, Usagi-chan. You were the
child we stole. You, whose parents were killed because of our 
own wish to have children. It is because of you that I will go to 
my eternal torment with contentment, knowing that I have had
my joy on earth with my child, my beautiful tsuki-ko."
     Usagi's hands went to her mouth in shock, and she lifted her 
head, searching his face to make sure he wasn't lying. He has to 
be lying, she thought, what else could he be doing? It is not
true! I cannot believe in . . . this . . . this . . . iie! She held her 
hands tighter to make sure no sound escaped her lips.
     "Do you understand what I am telling you, Usagi-chan?" he 
asked gently.
     "H . . . hai, Kenji-papa. You . . . you're just delirious from 
the fever . . . and I . . . I should go get the nurse for you now . . . 
I fear I've wearied you with our lengthy discussion." She
pivoted on her heel and started to walk away, but the shogun 
shot out a hand and pulled her back.
     "What do you take me for, musume? An invalid who can no 
longer think for himself, who rambles about the feverish 
shadows haunting him and speaks without clarity of thought, ne?
I am not mad, nor am I pulling this story from thin air. It is all 
the truth, I tell you. But you don't believe me, and I don't blame 
you. I'm not asking you to; I only want your forgiveness. That
would mean more to me than a thousand prayers to the spirits 
for my afterlife." 
     Usagi stared dumbly at him. So, she said to herself, if he can 
speak to me in such a way . . . perhaps it is not the delusions 
of the sickness speaking to me after all. Maybe I should . . . believe 
his wild tale. . . .
     "Kenji-papa," she said solemnly, "you know that I would do 
anything to please you. And . . . I do believe you . . . but it is 
very hard for me to accept all at once that the loving family I
know and adore is not my own at all, but a group of strangers who 
have committed heinous crimes to make me their daughter. I 
suppose that I never questioned my beginnings because
Ikuko-mama was able to have Shingo-ototo-chan . . . and she 
seemed to birth him with little difficulty. Perhaps . . . perhaps you 
should never have stolen me away. But I have known great
joy with you, and because of that, I forgive you with all my heart."
     The man in the bed dropped her hand, suddenly becoming 
much less powerful than he had appeared in the previous 
moment. His body seemed to visibly shrink and relax, every 
muscle appearing to go limp. In a whispered, scratchy voice 
he said, "Arigatou gozaimasu, Usagi-chan. I can die in peace 
now. . . ." With those words, his body seemed to sink farther 
into the mattress. "Do not mourn me when I am gone . . . 
demo . . . remember this, you are truly a maiden of tengoku, 
truly, truly. . . ." He coughed soundlessly into his limp hand, his 
frail body wracked with the strength of the air being forced 
through his throat. Then he stopped suddenly, and his
hand fell back onto the dark-colored blanket. His eyelids dropped 
closed as if they were weighted, forever shutting off his vision 
from the mortal world.
     Usagi's eyes widened in fear. Her ears ran with a sudden rushing 
sound not unlike ocean waves, and her eyes swam with blurrying 
tears. "Kenji-papa?" she asked doubtfully. "Kenji-- oh, iie, it wasn't 
supposed to . . . Iie!" she screamed. "Nurse! Nurse! Kami-sama, 
somebody help me!" she cried out in anguish. Her heart ran with the 
hurrying winds of desolation, making the tears fall even faster. 
She was unable to stop herself from rushing out of the room, 
holding her face in her hands.

     The moon appeared, a silent sentinel beribboned in endless wisps 
of cloud, as Usagi woke with a start, lifting her head abruptly and 
opening her eyes wide. She gasped for breath, holding one hand 
against  her chest to steady herself. Her body was covered in a 
shimmering sheen of sweat; her mind was plagued with the images 
of her dead adopted father. 
     Just a yume . . . she told herself, just a memory of what 
happened two years ago at his death-bed. . . . There is nothing 
to fear, nothing to hurt you, she reassured herself. Still, her heart
would not stop fluttering, and her eyes glanced suspiciously 
around the room.
     The dreams were getting worse and worse. At first, it was only 
the memories that chased her into her nighttime world of slumber, 
but lately, she had had visions of a man walking forward
towards her through a sunlit wood. He was tall and strong, and 
she felt that she should know him, but she couldn't place from 
where. He seemed to be speaking to her because his mouth was
moving, but no sound ever escaped his lips. She had dismissed 
it as "just a yume" and gone back to sleep, ignoring the sense of 
foreboding that went along with the dream.
     Similarly, she disregarded the dreams of her memories, thinking 
them parts of her past that were better off forgotten. Not once did 
she try and put two and two together; if she had, she might have 
guessed at where her path would take her.
     She rolled over on her mattress and closed her eyes, willing 
sleep to come. It would not, no matter how many sakura blossoms 
she counted underneath her flickering eyelids, so she decided to 
get up and go to the kitchens for some warm milk to help her sleep. 
     She sat up carefully and shoved her slippers onto her feet, 
pulling a black robe that was hanging over the back of a chair 
at the same time and tying it tightly at the waist with a white
sash. Quickly and quietly, she exited her chambers, taking great 
care not to make a sound as she padded down the marble hallways 
to the spacious dairy.
     A flickering light coming from underneath a door she was 
passing caught her attention, and she heard frantic whispers 
coming from it. She recognized them at once to belong to her
brother and his new bride. She cupped her ear to the door, and 
listened to their hushed conversation.
     " . . . I want her gone, Shin-chan, do you understand me? 
You have to get her out of this house. You heard what your 
father said! She's not even of this world," his wife was saying. 
Usagi shook her head. The woman was insufferable. It would 
have been better had he married his childhood playmate, 
Mika, than that pit viper princess he called wife. 
     "Iie, Netamu-chan. I can't do that to her! She is my onee-san, 
the only one I have, whether or not we are bound by blood. 
She is my only family left! Okaa-san killed herself, as was the
tradition in her family, after Oto-san died . . . and Usagi didn't 
deal with either of their deaths very well. What would happen 
to her if I tried to marry her off to a man she didn't love who
could never love her? She would dwell in unhappiness the rest 
of her earthly days. Iie, Netamu-chan. Your proposition is 
completely out of the question."
     "Then how will you deal with her? She's older than you, 
Shin-chan. She could easily claim seniority over you as ruler 
of our lands, if only as regent. You've heard the tales of 
that kind of person, have you not? They sit in the seat of 
power long past the time when the rightful ruler has grown 
up in the eyes of the courts . . . and the usurper must be 
overthrown. It's a bloody battle I don't want you to have to 
fight, otto-sama. And there are so many similarities: you 
are not yet of age to govern, and though you are 
married . . . she might be able to sway the courts in her favor. 
Would you really let her do that? She'll snatch your destiny 
right out from under your feet," the woman said, her tone rising.
She was not making any progress whatsoever with her husband, 
who, despite her efforts, was remaining steadfastly faithful 
to his older sister.
     Usagi's eyes widened. The woman really hates me that much? 
she thought. I knew I was not her favorite . . . but to suggest 
that I would want to usurp my ototo-chan . . .! The very nerve
of her . . . I have half a mind to barge in right now and set her 
high-and-mighty airs straight! But if I did, they would know I 
have been listening, and that would put me into an even worse place
than I already am. . . . Spying on people is not an admirable virtue. 
But wait, they're talking again.
     "She wouldn't do that! She loves me, I know. Though we are 
no longer as close as we once were as children, she could never do 
something so awful to me . . . and she knows that my oto-san 
wanted me to be shogun upon his death," Shingo denied his wife's 
claim, seeing through her thin veneer of courtesy towards him to 
the layer where she showed her unabashed hatred of his sister. 
Usagi silently cheered her little brother on, swelling with pride 
that he respected her enough to tell his wife the truth.   
     "Whatever you choose to do, Shin-chan, you know my feelings 
on the matter," Netamu conceded, "but until you tell me of your 
decision, I'll not share your bed with you."
     "I've already told you of my decision, woman," he bit out. 
"I am still shogun, and the man of this family, and I will not be 
pushed around by you! If you choose to leave my bed, be very
sure that your place will soon be occupied by another who 
will not be as disrespectful to me or my family as you have 
been this night."
     There was the sound of knees dropping to the floor, of a 
forehead hitting the tiles as she kowtowed, and Netamu said 
in a whispered voice, "Otto-sama, boku o yuruse, I fear I spoke in
haste. . . . If you have such faith in your sister, you must be right. 
I am a thousand kinds of fool for doubting you. Pray, accept 
my most humble apologies." 
     Shingo seemed to be mollified, because he said, "I forgive 
you. However, stay away from my sister from now on, and 
if I hear one slanderous word on your part about her, you are 
gone from this house forever. Do you understand?"
     Usagi didn't hear Netamu's soft, "Hai," as her husband dragged 
her to her feet, and left her in their chambers as he went off 
onto the balcony to think alone. She just walked off down
the hall, feeling considerably upset that her sister-in-law would 
crave such vengeance on her. She reached the kitchens, but 
found she was no longer thirsty, so she traipsed out the servant's
entrance and onto the criss-crossing path that led to the gardens. 
     Usagi passed by the beautiful flowers, each one shimmering 
with iridescent dew in the moonlight, pausing ever so often to 
breath in their wondrous aroma. All the while, she thought of
the conversation she had overheard. Is it not a sin, she thought, 
to wish such a fate on a family member? It was worse than what 
Kenji-papa did . . . so much worse! Netamu is more deserving
of his torture in jigoku than he is! She balled up her small, 
delicate hands in anger. Who is she to talk about me like that? 
And with a name that means envy, she is true to the character 
her parents gave her. As soon as morning comes, I'm going to 
confront Shingo-ototo-chan with my knowledge, she 
promised herself. 
     Usagi swept up her robe behind her and walked briskly back 
indoors to her chamber. Sleep would come more easily to her now 
that she had made up her mind to do something other than
puzzle over her dreams.
     
     "Selenity . . . onegai . . . Selenity. . . ." the man in her dream 
called to her. His graceful hands beckoned to her, wanting her 
to follow him. She looked about herself unsurely, then decided 
that something was wrong. The dream had changed. She was no 
longer in the beautiful woods with the man, but on a muddy, 
rutted road. He held a white horse's reins in his hand, and
his tousled black hair fluttered gently in the breeze. 
     "Iie, En . . . Endy . . . Endymion," she said, barely even 
recognizing her own voice. Her mind spun as she tried to 
recall where the familiar name she had just spoken came 
from. Why is he calling me Selenity? My name is Tsukino 
Usagi . . . or is it? She shook her head, trying to remember. 
What was it I forgot that seems to be so important? Who is 
he? She massaged her temples in a valiant effort to ward 
off her oncoming headache.
     "Selenity . . . I need you by my side. Onegai, come with 
me, come with me!" he pleaded. 
     She looked at him sadly. "I don't know you . . . Endy . . . 
Endymion. I don't know you. I can't remember why I know 
your name, but I've never see you before, save in my dreams. 
And they're just dreams, nothing more. It would be in both 
our best interests if you would leave me alone and let me 
sleep in peace once more."
     His deep blue eyes widened at her words, which, 
although courteous, wounded him greatly. Slowly, he 
whispered, "If you will not . . . then I shall leave . . . farewell, 
tsuki-shoujo." He grasped the pummel of the brown leather 
saddle and hoisted himself onto the horse. In one swift motion, 
his feet went into the stirrups and he kicked the mare, urging 
it silently forward. 
     Usagi stood motionless the whole time. Her breath came 
in great, heaving gulps as she realized her mistake. But it 
was too late. And all she could do was listen to the wind, 
which brought to her ears the message he had whispered 
as he sat astride the horse. "I loved you," the gentle air 
told her he had said, "I loved you."

     The moonbeams played in the free-flying curtains that 
hung over the windows to Usagi's balcony. Her troubled 
eyes slowly focused on their lacy edges, taking in their 
exquisite detail and appreciating, for the first time, how 
long it had taken her adopted mother to make them just that
way.     
     The dreams were gone forever, this she knew, and it was 
what she thought she wanted, but as she lay bathed in the 
calm of the moonlight, she was very slowly changing her mind.
Those haunting dreams were ruining my sleep, she reminded 
herself, trying to rationalize the obvious hurt she had caused 
the handsome man with black hair and deep blue eyes. 
Demo . . . he seemed so sincere when he asked me to go with 
him. What if I had taken his hand, like he wanted, and let him 
pull me up onto the horse to sit behind him? What would have 
happened then?
     Although her questions were rhetorical, a small voice 
hidden in the back of her mind answered them all in a phrase, 
in an almost inaudible tone. You would have remembered.
     She gasped loudly as she realized that the voice was correct. 
My memories . . . I could have had them all! Oh, Kami-sama, 
what have I done? I gave up the love of a stranger who was
willing and able to lead me back to where I came from . . . so 
I could have a good night's sleep?! What kind of fool am I? she 
asked herself. 
     The voice answered, One that doesn't make the same 
mistake twice, Selenity. 
     Usagi nodded her head in agreement. One that doesn't make 
the same mistake twice . . . which means I have to search for 
the man . . . and where ever the yume takes me, I will follow. 
     Hai, Selenity, the voice told her, but the road is barred with 
obstacles, one of which is his name. It is no longer Endymion, 
but Chiba Mamoru, and as such, he will be much harder to find.
You must also take on another identity, that of Selenity, the 
late princess of a kingdom called Tengoku, which has existed 
only in myth up to this point in history because people refuse to
acknowledge the fact that it is a reality.
     Usagi nodded again, and lay back down on her mattress, 
head spinning with the mission she planned. During break-the-fast 
the next morning, when she would tell her brother everything,
there would be quite an interesting event to witness. 
  
~~~~~~~~~~~~@

     Servants shuffled to and fro from the kitchen laying out the 
feast that was the morning meal. Lavish dishes sculpted out 
of porcelain and embellished with blue and silver paintings
carried dishes of rice, tea and various pastries all for the 
pleasure of the shogun and his family.
     Usagi sighed, and took another bite of the small cake in 
front of her. She had never enjoyed eating meals at the table, 
and she liked it even less now that her parents were gone.
Watching her sister-in-law eat made her sick, and looking at 
her younger brother made her apprehensive; she had yet to 
tell him about her plans. Little did she know that her brother's 
wife had plans of her own that had been set in motion the 
night before. Netamu knew the arts of persuasion too
well.
     Shingo was the first to cut through the silence holding 
them all hostage. "Everyone slept well, I hope?" he asked 
formally.
     "Hai, no akumu haunted my sleep last night, Shingo-
ototo-chan. Your idea of counting sakura blossoms worked 
quite well," Usagi lied with a smile.
     Netamu smiled also. "You know how I slept, my husband," 
she said quietly. Usagi wondered briefly what had taken 
place after Netamu prostrated herself before her brother.
     Not one to delay bad news any longer than absolutely 
necessary, Shingo started, "All formalities aside for today, 
onegai. I have something I need to talk to my onee-san about.
Netamu-chan, if you would be so kind as to leave us . . .?" he 
requested.
     Netamu's eyes narrowed. What trick is he going to play 
on me? What scheme? Perhaps it's not that at all, but his 
concession to rid himself of that imbecile he calls sister! She 
laughed evilly to herself. If such is the case, I have done my 
work well. Outwardly, she said in a sugar-coated voice, "As 
you wish, Shin-chan. I'll be in our chambers working on 
my needle point." She waved to a servant, who quickly 
rushed over and helped her up, pulling her chair out 
and taking her hand. She slowly rose to her feet and 
stalked away from the room.
     "I've been thinking lately, Usagi-chan," Shingo began 
solemnly after his wife had left. "I've been so worried about you. 
You need someone to look after you, to hold you close and
comfort you and be with you during the night, to smile at you 
throughout the day. Kami-sama knows that I'm not trying to 
push you into something you will abhor. If you hate me for 
this, gomen nasai, demo . . . it must be done."
     "Shingo-chan, what are you trying to tell me?" Usagi asked, 
her sapphire eyes wide. The voice suddenly started commanding 
her to follow through and speak of her plans before he finished 
his thought, or else she would never have the chance. "Matte, 
Shingo-chan. I don't need to hear the meaning of your words; 
I know my problem already too well. And I agree with the 
solution you are choosing for me right now. Demo . . . 
what you propose must take place on my terms and in 
good time."
     "Nani? How could you possibly know? Netamu-chan and 
I only spoke of it last night . . . there's no way. . . ."
     She couldn't hide the truth from him any longer. Above 
all other things, she hated lying to him. Deceit was not a 
friendly comrade in her family, although he showed up 
more often than not. She needed to break the cycle even 
more than she needed to search for Endymion. It was a way for 
her to let herself move on from the memories and find the 
freedom she had to have to create new ones. "Hai, there 
is a way. I overheard the conversation. And from the small part 
I listened to, I gathered that you weren't going to hurt me like
this. But you are, and you have, and now I have no choice, 
since you so obviously have chosen what I thought you 
never would. Shingo-chan, I will not marry the man of 
your choosing. I will not be subjected to sharing the bed 
of a man I could never love. Because . . . I do love 
someone." She thought back to the dream where Endymion 
called out to her, bared his heart for her, died inside himself 
for her. "And he loves me too. He saves me from my 
akumu . . . he always protects me from my fears. . . ." She lost 
the power over her words, caught up in the emotions that swelled 
from the empty place in her heart that she caused the night 
before when she let Endymion ride away.
     Shingo became agitated. "And who is this person? Is he 
as worthy of you as the one I would choose? Our neighbor, 
Kataomoi, came to me just the other day and told of how he
wanted you by his side as his wife. Could you not be as 
happy with him as you want to be with this dream man?" 
he asked desperately.
     "Iie, ototo-chan. My heart doesn't work that way. I love whom 
I love. And he is not a yume. He is real . . . as flesh and blood 
as you or I! I will find him," she forced out, "I would hunt him 
to the ends of the earth and back if I had to. You cannot stop 
me from searching for him," she finished breathlessly.
     Shingo gazed deeply into her eyes, seeking the truth of the 
matter, and found that she had already told him. So great was 
his wish for her happiness that he gave up his plea. He knew she
was perfectly capable of finding herself a suitable husband. 
"Very well." He sighed tiredly. "I'm not saying I agree with 
your choice, but I give you a year to find him. One year, 
no more. Onee-san, you must be married, or else . . . or 
else . . ." he broke off, fearing he had said too much.
    "Nani, Shingo-chan? Is something wrong?" Usagi's blue 
eyes bore into his own with their concern.
     "N . . . nanimo," he said, but his brown eyes betrayed 
him, showing his guilt.
     "You listened to that . . . that thing you call wife, didn't 
you?!" she screeched. Shingo made no move to answer. "You 
did. Ototo-chan, my brother, you would do such a thing? 
You would lie to me? When I have disgraced myself by 
telling you the truth, you . . . how could you?" She stared 
at him in horror.
     "I . . . I had to. Or I didn't have to. I don't know." He 
sighed again, helplessly. "I was just afraid that they would 
make you shogun instead of me," he conceded.
     Usagi started to laugh. "Truly, that's quite funny, ototo-chan. 
What is the real reason for your dishonesty?" she said through 
her amused giggles.
     His brow creased, he frowned, saying, "It is the truth. Like 
it or not, that was my fear."
     She stopped her laughter abruptly. "Surely you knew that 
women are not made to be the leaders of armies in this society? 
Or perhaps the snake neglected to tell you that I have already
made sure of your acceptance into the position our father created 
as your unmei. I have no wish to control such a horrible demon 
as a thousand fighting men. It is not for me; it is for you."
     Shingo was shocked into silence. Her manner had never 
been so cold towards him before. He knew he was wrong in 
trying to force the marriage. It was time to let her go quest for her
dream. "I had no idea . . . none whatsoever. Netamu will pay 
for this, never you fear, demo . . . she is not important now. 
You are the one, Usagi-chan, to seek and find your beautiful dream. 
It is something I understand that you must do alone. 
     "I shall keep the gift you have wrought for me well. Arigato 
gozaimasu, onee-san. If you need anything to help you on your 
way . . . and it is in my power to give, ask, and it will be
yours." He smiled and awkwardly reached over to embrace her.
     As she wrapped her thin arms around him, she whispered, "I 
always knew you were a good brother, but I know you will make 
an even better shogun." So saying she finished, "I ask only for 
a horse and a day's provisions. My yume will give me the rest."
     "Are you sure?" he asked carefully, drawing back from her 
friendly warmth. 
     "Hai. I've never been more positive of anything in my life." 
She smiled brightly and squeezed his hand. "I leave tomorrow 
at first light," she said, and drew away from him. She walked 
slowly out of the room, and out of his world; he wouldn't 
be able to see her off the next day, for he would have more 
pressing problems to deal with. Netamu had yet to be punished 
for her crime.



Oto-san= father
Onegai= please
Naze= why
Shinji nai= I don't believe you
Otogibanashi= fairy-tale
Majo= witch
Yosei= fairy
Demo= but
Tetsudai= helper
Ansatsusha= assassin
Musume= daughter
Tsuki-ko= moon-child
Iie= no
Hai= yes
Jigoku= hell
Tengoku= heaven
Arigato gozaimasu= thank you very much
Yume= dream
Shin= heart, core, center
Netamu= envy, jealousy
Onee= older sister
Boku o yuruse= please forgive me
Otto= husband
Kami-sama= G-d, or a reference to a higher being
Akumu= nightmare
Kataomoi= unrequited love 
Nani= what
Nanimo= nothing
Unmei= destiny
Matte= wait