Random Acts of Stupidity

(camp, after midnight. Seph and Aeris are snuggled up on a hammock, sleeping peacefully. Cloud is alone in his hammock, since his slut-of-a-girlfriend is a chunk of ice in the swamp, muttering ‘who am I’ over and over in his sleep. Since I’m too lazy to type everything, all the respected couples are in their hammocks, the singles are in theirs too. There, that’s all settled. Suddenly everyone is startled awake by a loud groaning noise)

Seifer: (waking up) "Wha…?"

(groaning noise again and a scream)

Seifer: (screams) "MONSTER!!!!!!!"

Seph: (waking up)" What??"

Aeris: (wakes up too) "What’s going on?"

Seifer: "I heard a monster roar then I heard a scream!!!"

??: (groan then yell) "Yeee-haww!"

(two butt-naked people streak across the camp and dive into the ocean)

Seph, Aeris, and Seifer: "…….. ………. ………" (sweatdrops)

Seph: "Disturbing."

Aeris: "That’s just wrong in so many ways…"

Seifer: "They could have used a leaf at least….."

(BTW- it was Irvine and Selphie.)

(Seph and Aeris are sitting on the couch together)

Aeris: "I’m bored."

Seph: "Me too."

Aeris: "I’m gonna go look for something to drink." (gets up)

Seph: "Ok."

(five minutes later Aeris returns with a case of beer and a bottle of wine)

Seph: (blink) "Where’d you get all that?"

Aeris: "Shop down the block. Beer for now, wine for later.." (winks)

Seph: (smirks)

(Aeris opens the case of beer and hands Seph a can)

Aeris: "I got an idea…. Let’s have a drinking contest!"

Seph: "Sounds good. What’s the prize?"

(Aeris whispers something in his ear)

Seph: "I’m in! Let’s go."

Aeris: "Hehe, we win either way though."

(Seph downs one can and starts on the next just as Aeris finishes chugging hers. Eventually the case is empty, and they both drank 12 equal cans.)

Seph and Aeris: (hiccup) "It’s a tie."

Irvine: (to the tune of "It’s a Beautiful Day in the Neighborhood") "It’s a beautiful day in the slums today, even better at the Honeybee Inn." (hums)

Guard: (stands in front of Irvine) "Please show your Member ID, sir."

(Irvine flashes his ‘Frequent Flyer’ Honeybee Inn Member card.)

Guard: (moves out of the way) "Ahem, right this way sir."

Irvine: "I know my way around…" (wink)

(Irvine walks inside and makes his way to the $%@# room.)

Irvine: "Always was my favorite…" (walks in)

Honeybee: "Welcome to the $%@# room sir. It’s my duty to make your—wait a minute, Irvine!?!?"

Irvine: "Quistis!?!?"

Quistis: "Oh dear… well I’ll just be on my way…"

Irvine: (blocks exit) "Not until I get my money’s worth."

Director: "And—action!"

Cloud: (comes out of the dressing room) "Does this dress make me look fat?"

*beep, cut*

"Action."

Cloud: (looking at the newly acquired brown wig) "This wig smells like somebody’s—"

*beep, cut*

"Grr….action…."

(Cloud comes out in the dress and wig, and a gust of wind blows in the room)

Aeris: "…..this is just disturbing. I’m taking my coffee break." (goes over to Seph at the coffee table)

*beep, cut*

Director: "Since Cloud is a dork, we decided to do the cross dressing scene by computer."

Aeris: "Thank god."

Seph: (glaring at Cloud) "Don’t scare me or my girlfriend again you yaoi bastard."

Cloud: "…Who am I …?"

(Seph and Aeris are snuggled up on the couch. Rinoa is snuggled up on Squall’s lap on the recliner. Pikachu is zapping things. Mario is eating ravioli.)

Pikachu: "Pika." (zap) "Chu." (bzzt.)

Mario: (eating his ravioli) "Mama mia, such-a good-a food-a."

Aeris: "Mario are you really Italian?"

Mario: "Yes."

Aeris: "Vaffunculo."

Mario: "Thank-a you. I just-a got-a my hair done-a."

Aeris: "… you have no clue what I just said do you?"

Seph: (snickers)

Mario: (spits out his ravioli and it hits pikachu) "You insulted-a my hair-a!"

Pikachu: "PIKA!" (x.x)

Rinoa: "Oh my god, they killed Pikachu."

Squall: "Whatever."

Aeris: (snuggles closer to Seph and closes her eyes.) "I love you Sephy!" (kisses his cheek)

Seph: (smiles and kisses back) "Love you too."

Rinoa: "Hmm…. I love you Squally!!" (kisses his cheek)

Squall: "Whatever." (kisses back)

Mario: "Mama mia."

(BTW- Vaffunculo means ‘fuck you’ in Italian. ^~ )

Hojo: (looking at several X-rays) "I am studying insecta asshola.

Seph: (walks by and chucks a M-80 into Hojo’s lab)

**BOOM**

Hojo: "… Experiment failed. Conclusion- next time, shut the windows."

Shadow (FF6): "…" (staring at a piece of shiny tin foil. His mouth is wide open)

Fujin: (walking by, stops, and joins in too) "…"

Vincent: (walks by and stops, and joins in) "…"

Raijin: (walks by, stops, and joins in too) "… (loudly) hey! This is some shiny tin foil, y’know? But you know what’s even shinier is…"

(Vincent and Shadow leave; Fujin kicks Raijin in the knee)

Raijin: "Ouch, y’know?!"

~Author’s note: I don’t have one goddamn clue as to what I’ve been drinking. I don’t have one goddamn clue as to why I wrote this either. Let me know what you think though. I’ll probably add more in the near future. I’m just too lazy to do it now. Ja-ne!~