Biology: 201
WARNING: Very OOC. Contains references to various yaoi relationships, including one between Gohan and Dende, and one between Krillin and Yamcha, and descriptions of the second. It is a continuation to Biology:101. I don't own 'em, but I should.
For Dani again, my favorite hentai!
"Yyyeah, Mom?" he replied, with painfully forced cheerfulness.
Chichi moved closer, her voice rising with her frustration. "Don't give me that look! Where do you think you're going? You have to study your science!"
"I did study my biology, Mom, with Dende."
"What about your chemistry?"
"Wellll...uhhh...that's why I'm home! I came to find my textbook, but I must have forgotten it at Yamcha's when I went over there yesterday. I was just going to run over there and get it. Is that ok, Mom?"
She sighed. "Gohan. What am I going to do with you? You're going to fall behind! You can get the book, but hurry! No dawdling! You're not getting any dinner until you've memorized all the strongest chemical bonds!"
"Okay! Thanks, Mom! Bye!" Turning quickly, Gohan grabbed Dende's hand and rushed out of the house before his mother could change her mind.
Dende waited until they were almost to Yamcha's house before speaking.
"I didn't think your mother was going to let you go. Doesn't she know Yamcha will be coming home in a few minutes? He might even already be there!" Dende exclaimed excitedly.
"I hope she doesn't, because then she might come and try to find me and drag me back home!"
Gusts of dirt rose as they landed outside the powerful fighter's home. An estatic cry drew their eyes to the small, cheerful cat bounding through the air towards them.
"Gohan! Dende! Hiiii!!!" Puar's whiskers twitched lively with his huge smile and gushing words. "What are you guys doing here? I'm really happy to see you! We just got back from the tournament. Your Dad won, of course, Gohan, but everyone did great! Well, everyone but Chaotszu, of course. He was taken out before the fighting even began! Some big guy glared at him, and he got scared and tried to hide under Piccolo's cape, but Piccolo didn't go for it. He punched him right out of the stadium, instead!"
Gohan laughed, but Dende looked worried. "Is he okay? Tien must have been upset..."
"Oh, they're both fine. Tien doesn't even know about it. He was talking to one of the judges when it happened, so when he came back, Yamcha just told him Chaotszu had lost his nerve and decided to go home!"
This time, Dende joined in the laughter too, imagining the decieving sincerity and compassion Yamcha must have used to make such an unbelievable lie credible to the larger warrior. Puar's entire body shook as he laughed, vibrating in midair. He sighed and wiped away stray tears with his paw. "That Yamcha..." he said affectionately.
"What about me?"
Two heads and one furry body spun around to face the muscular, jovial man. Puar grinned even wider, and rushed excitedly towards his long-haired friend.
"Whoa, Puar!" Yamcha yelled teasingly as the cat embraced his neck tightly. "I've only been gone a minute!"
"It felt a lot longer."
Yamcha rolled his eyes at the boys, but still rubbed Puar's back affectionately, then whispered something in the cat's ear softly enough that even Dende couldn't hear it. Puar murmured something in reply, then released Yamcha's neck, choosing to hover near his left elbow instead.
"So," Yamcha asked in his deep voice, focusing on the two children, "what can I do for you boys today?"
"Oh nothing. We just wanted to talk to you about some stuff," Gohan replied easily.
" 'Cmon in then! I was just about to grab a beer and turn on the game. Unwind a little, 'yknow?"
"Great!" Gohan exclaimed, shooting Dende an excited look and dragging him into the house. Puar flew ahead of them, bouncing and chattering in his constantly cheerful voice. Yamcha pulled up the rear, directing the boys into the den before asking them what kind of drink they each wanted.
"Coke!" Gohan cried, remembering his manners at the last minute. "Please."
"Dende?"
"Nothing, thanks. I already had a whole glass of water today."
" 'Ysure, Dende? 'Ydon't want a Coke, or some Mountain Dew, or something? I think I have some red Koolaid..."
"No, I'm fine, Mr. Yamcha. Really!"
"You don't have to call him that!" Gohan cut in.
"Nope! We're all friends here! I don't call you, Mr. Dende, do I?"
Gohan and Dende both giggled.
Their laughter died down quickly, though, as they all felt a strong power level moving towards them in a hurry. All four rushed outside in time to see a furious Tien slam down onto Yamcha's front lawn. A shower of dirt, pebbles, and grass flew up from the tremendous impact. No one had a chance to react before the three-eyed warrior turned on Yamcha.
"WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU ARE, YOU LONG-HAIRED BAKA?!?! Did you really believe I wouldn't find out what you'd done to my Chaotszu?!" Large viens began to protrude from Tien's forehead and neck as his voice raged. "I'LL KILL YOU!"
The tension in the air rose as Tien powered up, all the while spitting out hateful insults. Yamcha began to take offense to the vengeful words being hurled at him.
"Who do you think you are, charging down here and yelling at me, when I wasn't even the one to hit your freaky little clown doll!"
"WHY YOU...!!!"
Puar fluttered around Yamcha anxiously, then remembered the children.
"Yamcha! Gohan and Dende are..."
"Huh?" Both men turned their attention to the two shocked boys. "Oh yeah. You boys better go on ahead inside. I'll be in in a sec, once I've dealt with this arrogant prick!"
"Who're you calling arrogant?! You.."
Dende pulled the solid front door closed behind them, muting out the angry yelling outside. He turned to see that Gohan had already wandered off towards the den, and hurried after him.
He found the young half-Saiyan sprawled out across the worn out couch, staring quizzically at Yamcha's universal TV remote. His dark eyes rose to consider the large entertainment unit, which consisted of a stereo system, DVD player, 2 VCRs, a big screen TV, and various electronic game systems. Gohan sweatdropped.
"How am I supposed to find the cartoons?" he mumbled to himself, before deciding to just experiment, and hit random buttons until he discovered the one he was looking for.
Click.
This ain't a song for the broken-hearted. No silent prayer for the faith departed. And I ain't gonna be just a face in the crowd. You're gonna hear my voice when I shout it out loud!
The room shook as the large speakers, mounted on the walls, began to blast out Bon Jovi's "It's My Life". Both Gohan and Dende squawked and quickly covered their ears, hoping to block out the ear-splitting loud music.
It's my life! It's now or never. I ain't gonna live forever. I just wanna live while I'm alive!
"TURN IT OFF! PLEASE!" Dende's screams could barely be heard over the music, so the small Namek dived onto the couch, grabbed the remote from Gohan's lap, and began hitting the buttons frantically.
Click. CLICK. CLICK!
Dende was relieved when the stereo finally stopped playing, and slumped against his friend. Gohan tentatively unplugged his ears, then smiled and lowered his arms.
"Whew! Thank Kami!" Gohan beamed at his friend. "You even got the TV working. Great! Some volume would be nice though..."
"Oh!" Dende looked at the fast-paced fighting action on the large TV screen, then back down at the remote. "Ummm...." He timidly pressed a small grey button, then jumped as the TV emitted sounds of angry war cries, powerful attacks and painful groans.
"Whoa!" Gohan said, eyes glued to the set. The boys sat frozen in open-mouthed admiration as blood and saliva was sprayed across the screen. "Cool!" Only the onset of mudane commercials was able to break their trance.
"Change the channel, Dende. I HATE these Pepsi commercials!" Gohan hollered, glaring at the annoyingly infamous Pepsi girl.
"What else is on?" asked the small Namek, as he once again tried to focus on the confusing remote.
"It's Saturday. There's got to be some cartoons on somewhere." Suddenly his eyes lit up. "Hey! doesn't Yamcha have a satellite dish?"
"What's a satellite dish?"
"Yeah, he does! Here..." Gohan grabbed the remote from
his friend's hand. "I'm pretty sure one of these big buttons will connect us with the dish, then we can pick up all kinds of cool shows!"
Gohan excitedly pressed the first large button, and the Pepsi girl disappeared. Instead, the lights on the VCR blinked on and the machine began to click, hum, and make whining noises. The TV screen filled with shaky images of unidentifiable forms moving around Yamcha's bedroom. The Bloodhound Gang's "Bad Touch" bega nto blare in the background as the ambiguous forms began to distinguish themselves.
Sweat, baby. Sweat!
Krillin and Yamcha were standing on opposite sides of the long-haired man's bed. The smaller warrior fingered the blanket nervously, then looked up.
"Uhh...Yamcha? Are you sure you want to do this? I mean, with the camera and all?" Krillin's focus moved until he seemed to be staring straight out of the TV screen at the young boys. "I dunno...what if someone saw it?!"
Yamcha laughed affectionately at his friend and smiled. "You worry too much, Krillin. No one will ever see it but us. Besides," the older man said as he slowly removed his gi, eyes never breaking contact with Krillin's, "this'll be fun!"
Yamcha shifted his weight, allowing his entire naked body to come into full view of the screen. Gohan and Dende both gasped, and Dende paled slightly.
"His is a lot bigger than yours," he whispered softly.
"haaa...hai," Gohan replied shakily, still a little stunned.
You and me, baby, ain't nothing but mammals, so lets' do it like they do on the Discovery channel. (Do it again now!) You and me, baby, ain't nothing but mammals, so lets' do it like they do on the Discovery channel. (Getting horny now!)
Yamcha chuckled, and climbed onto the bed. Reaching across, he grabbed the front on Krillin's t-shirt, and pulled the bald man up onto the bed next to him. Krillin tensed as his eyes were drawn back to the camera, and Yamcha sighed.
"Just pretend it's not there, Krillin. It's just you and me..." Yamcha stroked Krillin's cheek, then tilted his face up towards his own. He leaned in and captured the other man's mouth, nibbling on his bottom lip until his mouth reluctantly opened. the kiss grew more passionate, and Krillin began to relax, then moan.
"Oh," Gohan exclaimed. "I guess I was supposed to put my tongue inside your mouth and not just lick the outside."
"I don't know...wouldn't it be hard for me to breath if we kissed like that? Krillin is making all those gasping noises... And anyways,I like the way you kiss right now. You don't need to change anything." Dende smiled at his friend, then reached over shyly to hold his hand.
Gohan blushed, but grinned. "Thanks, Dende." He squeezed the green hand in his. He then moved his eyes back towards the screen, and burst out laughing.
"What?" Dende exclaimed, as his friend began to shake with laughter.
Gohan took a deep breath and tried, unsuccessfully, to calm himself. "Llooo...look ahh....at...KRILLIN!!!" was all he managed to gasp out before he was overcome by hysterical giggles again.
Dende looked quizzically at the screen, then began to giggle as well. "He's so small!" he chirped.
In the short amount of time the boys had been distractedly discussing kissing techniques, Yamcha had managed to remove Krillin's t-shirt and shorts, and was now using his tongue to arouse the smaller man's member. Krillin groaned deeply, and wove his petite fingers through the wild hair of his secret lover.
The boys watched in silence.
Love. The kind you clean up with the mop and bucket, like the lost catacombs of Egypt, only God knows where we stuck it.
Yamcha's left hand disappeared from the boys' line of vision, and Krillin began to shudder and buck up against him. The smaller man's breath grew more strained, and he was sweating. "Yesss....YES! Ahhh.....Yamcha! Harder!" Yamcha slowly licked down the length of Krillin's erection, then removed his mouth comepletely. The tip glistened with dripping semen, which the long-haired man smirked at, then stretched out his tongue to taste. Krillin's entire body began to shake. He clenched the blanket under him and growled, "Yamcha! Please!"
Yamcha glanced up, and the smirk was replaced by a soft smile. "Sure?"
"YES!"
The larger man chuckled, then smiled predatorily. His hands moved to Krillin's thighs, then, in one swift motion, he pushed the smaller man's legs up over his own hips, grabbed his sahoulders, and pulled his tiny frame onto his own huge arousal. Krillin screamed, and arched in Yamcha's arms. Both boys screamed as well.
"AAAAAAAAGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Three heads spun outside as the piercing shrieks reached them, then the warriors and the cat began to race for the front door.
And then we'll do it doggy style, so we can both watch 'X-Files'.
"WHAT'S HE DOIN' TO KRILLIN???? OH MY GOD!!!" Gohan continued to shreik as Dende covered his ears and dove under the couch pillows. A loud crash from the main foyer caused both boys to look towards the hallways though.
"Guys? What's wrong?"
"Are you boys ok?"
"GOHAN! DENDE! WHERE ARE YOU? BOYS! Yamcha, what if they're hurt?! What'll we do?! This is terrible! I.."
" SHUT UP!"
"HEY! Don't tell my cat to shut up, you freak! I'll kick your ass again!"
"Again?! I don't remember a first time. All I remember is a certain wussy hiding behind his gay cat for protection!"
"STOP IT!!! Yammmmcchhhhhaaaaaaa!!!!"
The boys looked at each other, and began screaming again. Gohan rushed to the VRC, and popped out the tape. He shoved it into his gi just as the cat dragged in two angry, glaring warriors.
"Hey! You're both okay! Thank goodness!"
Tien turned his head, and looked over the boys. "Good. Why were you screaming like that, though?"
"Uhh..."
"We were just playing a game," Dende cut in, slowly inching towards the side door. "We didn't mean to disturb you."
Yaqmcha grinned. "Hey, it's no problem, guys! Don't worry 'bout it!" He laughed and began to move towards the boys to pat them on the back, and offer them something to eat. Before he had made it two steps though, both boys were overcome with mental images of him penetrating Krillin, and began to REALLY scream.
"AAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
"STAY AWAY FROM MY BUM!" Gohan yelled, covering it with one hand, and grabbing onto Dende with the other. Powering up, he crashed through a closed window, and sped off frantically towards the forest. Even Puar's high pitched cries couldn't reach them after awhile, and they dropped to the ground in a clearing, panting and sweating. Gohan felt something digging into his ribs, and reached into his gi to pull out the forgotten video tape. He squawked, then hurled it into the bushes. Dende looked after it.
"Do you think we're safe here?"
"I hope so."
"I think we should go back to your house. Your mom will protect us from Yamcha."
"I'm too tired," Gohan began calmly. A snap from the bushes to their left made him gasp, and yell in a panic," Quick! You go ahead. Save yourself!"
"NO! I'll carry you!"
Piccolo stepped into the clearing just as the two young boys tore into the air, and blasted towards the Son house.
"Hnn..." Shrugging, the large Namek turned and headed towards the lake, where he ritually performed his meditations. As he entered the bush though, something ahead caught his attention. He picked up the video that Gohan had discarded earlier, and read the label.
'Y/K #1 ->14/06/99' "Hmm..." Piccolo glanced around himself to make sure he wasn't being observed, then tucked the tape into his own gi. He took two steps towards the lake, then stopped again. He stood in silent thought for a minute, then turned in the direction of his own home. "Haa..." He powered up, and rushed off in the air, cape rustling behind him, and a mischievious smile on his face.
End.
tbc? Maybe....