You know that feeling when you wake up and just know the day is going to
suck?
Yesterday was one of those days.
The first, oh, five seconds of my day were fine. I woke up and looked at the
window outside. The view looked a little off, but my sleepy mind didn’t
register it as something important enough to wake me up fully. Fortunately,
something else was. I realized that I was in someone else’s arms; I was
sharing the bed with someone.
As a matter of fact, I realized that it wasn’t even my room.
The best part, though, was that I realized that the form in the bed, with
its arms around me, was Daisuke.
The first coherent thought that passed through my mind was, Shit!
I sat bolt upright in the bed, fully awake now. My rear end felt as if
something large had been shoved inside of it. My gaze fell across the
sheets, and I realized that they were stained with something. On closer
inspection, I realized it was semen…
“Oh, my God…”
My memories of the past 24 hours were practically nonexistent. My
headache-wracked brain could only faintly recall that I had gone over to
Daisuke’s with the Kamiyas. It was the first full day of a 2-week vacation,
and the new Digidestined, along with a handful of others, were there.
Vaguely, I remembered that the Kamiyas had to go home early for some reason
or another, Miyako had to help the late shift at her parent’s store, Iori
had curfew, and by the time my memory went blank the party was just down to
me, Daisuke, and…well, just me and Daisuke; in fact, I think I remember
calling home to get permission to spend the night.
After that, it was all a big black void.
Well, taking into account the fact that I was in Daisuke’s house, sharing a
bed with him, having a pounding headache, semen on the sheets…
“Daisuke! Wake up!” I shook him desperately, to see if his memory was any
better than mine. “Wake up, damn it!”
“What? Oh…it’s you, Takeru.”
“Yes, it’s me!” I bent over him and looked directly in his eyes. “What the
hell happened last night?”
He looked puzzled for a moment. “Wait a minute…what are you doing here…in my
bedroom!”
“That’s what I was just about to ask you.” He stood up, still a little
groggy, and I realized that both he and I were naked; neither of us moved
for a second, then I turned, while he quickly pulled the sheets over his
body, both of us stammering apologies. I was still overwhelmed by the
gravity of the situation, but…well, the sight of him naked did “stir”
something in me. I found my boxers hanging on the bedpost, and put them on
before anything else awkward happened.
“Takeru, um…do you mind not looking over for a second while I get dressed?”
I nodded numbly, praying that we did not do what I was almost certain we
had. As Daisuke dressed himself, I searched around the room for a moment.
Scattered around were my clothes; my shorts in one part of the room, shirt
in another, socks in yet another. I dressed myself as quickly as possible,
then looked at Daisuke. He was sitting on the edge of his bed, face in his
hands.
“Something wrong, Daisuke?”
He turned to face me, a look of confusion on his face.
“Takeru…last night, did we…?”
I took a deep breath. “I don’t know.”
“I…” He swallowed, hard. “You better have a look out in the living room.”
The living room was a mess. A bowl of stale cheese curls still lay out on
the table in front of the TV, which was still on. Remnants of a pizza, still
in the box, were on the floor. Empty pop cans were strewn around the room,
most on their side. So far, nothing incriminating was to be seen. I glanced
into the dining room. Two glasses were out on the dining table, a tiny bit
of some sort of clear liquid inside one of them. I smelled it, then drank a
little bit.
It was actually kind of pleasant tasting, a little sweet, but also…it had
some quality about it that was familiar that I couldn’t quite place; it left
a feeling in my mouth like soda or something acidic but wasn’t carbonation.
It wasn’t too bad, though, and I figured it was mostly harmless. Satisfied
that nothing else was in the room, I went on to the kitchen
Out on the table was a small, unassuming, unlabeled ceramic bottle. I poured
myself a sip and then downed it. It was the same stuff that was on the
table, and as I swished the drink around in my mouth I looked closer at the
bottle. Some handwritten kanji was barely visible on the side of the
bottle’s neck. I peered closer and read.
Honjozo-shu, it said. I had never heard of it before. I picked my way back
through the living room, deciding to ask Daisuke if he knew what the mystery
drink was. When I got back, he was changing his bed sheets.
“Daisuke?”
“Hai?”
“What’s honjozo-shu?”
“It’s sake. I think we have a bottle downstairs. We got it as a gift from a
relative in Hokkaido, but we’ve never opened it. Why?”
Suddenly, it all made sense. I felt a wave of nausea overcome me as I pieced
together the missing pieces of what happened the previous night. My knees
locked and I must have staggered, because the next thing I knew Daisuke had
caught me and was helping me into a sitting position on his bed.
“Daisuke…” I began to speak, when I felt sick to my stomach again. I took a
few deep breaths, and Daisuke went to get me a glass of water from the
kitchen. When he came back, most of the color had drained from his face.
“So, you saw it too?”
He nodded. “What the hell do we do now?”
It was a question that neither of us could answer.
* * *
After I helped him clean up, I got out of there. I needed some time alone to
sort things out.
My world had been turned upside down in the space of a day. I had gotten
myself drunk on rice wine; hell, I wasn’t even supposed to be drinking, let
alone getting plastered. Not only that, I had woken up in Daisuke Motomiya’s
bed, and we had undoubtedly had sex – my sore ass and the semen on his bed
sheets would attest to that.
So now, what? Do I tell anyone, or keep it a secret? Was last night just
something that happened because we were drunk, or will this be the start of
something more than just friendship? If so, what about Hikari?
A million questions ran through my mind. There was only one person who could
help me through this.
I rang the doorbell and Matt answered.
* * *
“Christ, Takeru, what the fuck were you thinking?! No, wait, you weren’t
thinking, were you? I thought you knew better than to do that kind of shit!”
Matt glared at me. So far, he wasn’t being much help, except in the
making-me-feel-like-crap department. “I’m waiting, Takeru! Why did you do
it?!”
“I don’t know,” I answered meekly.
“What?”
“I said, I don’t know!” I shouted, fully expecting more shouts, threats, and
ranting from him. Instead, he looked at me, and responded in a subdued,
almost sad, tone.
“All right, Takeru. I…believe you.” He sighed. “But I don’t think I can help
you. You’ll have to sort this one out by yourself. I know it sounds kind of
corny, but listen to your heart. Don’t let anyone else influence your
decisions. The most important thing is, don’t try and keep this a secret. It
will get out later, and do even more damage to you than you can imagine.”
I smiled weakly at him. “All right, oniisan.”
“Hey, Takeru?”
“Hai?”
“If you need me, I’ll be here for you.”
“Thanks.” I turned, walked out, and made a beeline for the Kamiya apartment,
and I found myself praying for the second time that morning, this time for
Hikari’s forgiveness. For five minutes I just stood outside the Kamiya’s
door, trying to gather up the courage to ring the doorbell.
Before I got a chance, though, Tai opened the door, Miko, their cat, in
hand. He looked surprised for a second, then smiled at me.
“Hey, Takeru. Come on in. This is kind of unexpected…um, Hikari’s in her
room doing homework, but I think she’ll want to see you. I’ll go get her.”
“Arigatou…” I trailed off, and could only hope for the best. Mrs. Kamiya sat
at their kitchen table, balancing their checkbook or something along those
lines. She looked up and smiled at me.
“Hello, Takeru, it’s always a pleasure seeing you. What brings you here
today, besides Hikari?”
“Well…actually, Mrs. Kamiya, I have some…uh…bad news to tell her, and I
don’t know how she’s going to take it. It’s my fault, sort of, but it is
kinda personal, so I’d like to keep it between her and I.”
“Oh,” she said, looking concerned. “I hope it goes all right.”
Hikari popped her head out of her room, smiling as usual. “Hey, Takeru! Come
on in. I know, Geometry is so incredibly hard to tear myself away from, but,
you know how it is.”
I walked over to her room and shut the door behind me. I knew she could read
me like a book, and with the state I was in then, it was obvious that I was
distressed. Her smile faded from her face.
“What’s the matter, Takeru?”
“It’s…” I cut myself off. “First of all, Hikari, I take the blame entirely
on myself, because what I’m going to say was an extremely stupid thing to
do, and I’ll understand any reaction you have to this.” I sat down on her
bed, and she took my hand into hers. “Last night, after everyone else had
left…well…let’s just say mistakes were made. Daisuke and I found a bottle of
sake…I didn’t know what it was, but…we got drunk, and…we…” I felt the tears
start to well up in my eyes. Unconsciously, my voice had dropped to a
whisper. “We…fucked.”
Her face remained impassive, but I could tell right away that the damage had
done. She let go of my hand and stood up calmly. For a moment, I thought she
was taking it very well. She opened her mouth as if to speak, then closed
it, and I thought I heard a quiet sob. Swallowing, she opened her mouth, and
her voice came in a barely audible whisper.
“Get out.”
“Hikari, gomen, I didn’t mean to hurt you…”
“Out.”
“Please, just give me a moment to explain.” By now, I was beginning to choke
up.
“You bastard,” she said, her voice cracking as well, “get out of my room.
Get out of my house. I never want to see you again. Go back to your Daisuke,
why don’t you get drunk and fuck each other again?”
“No…Hikari…don’t do this!”
I felt, rather than saw, her hand hit my face. It was something that I never
in my wildest nightmares thought would happen.
“Let’s just say mistakes were made,” she said, mocking me. Now her anger and
sarcasm took over. “Oh, Takeru, I know you cheated on me with Daisuke, but
I’ll accept you back, no questions. I know you crushed my heart, but that’s
OK, because you’re sorry. I love you, Takeru, even if you do forsake me
whenever you get near a fucking bottle of alcohol.” Each of her statements
drove a stake through my heart. I was now crying openly. She opened the door
behind me. “Leave me alone from now on, asshole!” She shoved me out of her
room and slammed it. I hit the opposite wall pretty hard, and as I was
picking myself up off of the ground I could hear uncontrollable sobs coming
from inside her room. I wasn’t in much better shape, and I ran out of their
house without so much as a goodbye to anyone, my face in my hands. I had
lost the person I held closest to my heart because of goddamn rice wine.
I am the world’s biggest asshole.
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Email The Author: Dareru