Diary of a Viagra Housewife--- Chi Chi
by: Ashley

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Day 1

Just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary with not much to celebrate. When it came time to reenact our wedding night, he locked himself in the bathroom and cried. Wussy. I can't believe Goku is acting this way.


Day 2

Today, he says he has a big secret to tell me. The doctor said he's impotent, he says, and he wants me to be the first to know. He was grinning like that was a good thing. Why doesn't he tell me something I don't know! I mean, gimme a break. He's been dysfunctional for so long that he even walks with a limp. What did I ever see in him??


Day 3

This marriage is in trouble. A woman has needs. Yesterday, I saw a picture of the Washington Monument in America and burst into tears.


Day 4

A miracle has happened! There's a new drug on the market that will fix his 'problem.' It's called Viagra. I told him that if he takes Viagra, things will be just like they were on our wedding night. He said, 'What do you mean?? I got confused the first time!!' I ignored him and told him more about it. I think this will work. I replaced his Prozac with the Viagra, hoping to lift something other than his mood. But I can only try....


Day 7


I haven't been able to write in a while. He found out I switched his Prozac, but he doesn't care!! This Viagra thing has gone to his head. No pun intended! Yesterday, at Burger King, the manager asked me if I'd like a Whopper. He thought they were talking about him. Get over yourself! Not everything is about you! But, have to admit, his strength is nothing compared too ...


Day 8

I think he took too many over the weekend. Yesterday, instead of mowing the lawn, he was using his new friend as a weed wacker. I don't even want to remember what he did when he went fishing. I am getting worried. Sore as hell....


Day 10

Okay, I admit it. I'm hiding. I mean, I am getting too old for this. I can only take so much. And to make matters worse, he's got Bulma to mix it with senzu beans! The photo of Mr. Popo in speedos isn't working. What am I gonna do? I feel tacky all over....


Day 11

The side effects are starting to get to him. Everything is turning blue. The other day, we were watching a wrestling tornoment in Italy, and he thought it was "The Smurfs Do Denmark." Even my armpits hurt. I never knew he was horny. Damn!! He's a nasty man.


Day 12

OK, I'm basically being drilled to death. It's like he is using his ki to drill me as a power tool. I woke up this morning hot-glued to the bed.


Day 13

I wish he was gay. I bought 400 Liza Minelli albums and I keep saying 'fabulous,' and still he keeps coming after me! Even yawning has become dangerous ...


Day 14

Now I know how Bulma feels. Every time I shut my eyes, there's a sneak attack! It's like going to bed with a scud missile. Let's hope he's not like Sayain's tails. That takes forver to come out again. I can hardly walk and if he tries that "Oops, sorry" butt-thing again, I'm gonna kill him.


Day 15

I've done everything to turn him off. Nothing is working. I even started dressing like a nun. Now he tells me "Sister Wendy" makes "Father Woody" want to bark like a dog. Help me.


Day 16

I think I will have to kill him. Then he'll go out the way he wants to... stiff. With my luck, I won't be able to close the casket. I'm starting to adhere to everything I sit on. The kids are afraid of him and Vegeta no longer comes over to spar anymore. Last night I told him to screw himself ... he did. He must die. What ever happened to the shy and stupid man I married?!?!?

TO BE COUTUNIED…..


AniMakoChan: HAHAHAHA!!!!!

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