SpikeRChick inspired me to write this silly, smutty fic, so blame her! : )
Backstory: Ethan Rayne, after having escaped the Initiative, has a plan to get revenge on Giles, Buffy and the gang as well as Sunnydale itself. Phase 1 of his plan is to use a spell similar to Sweet’s but with some differences. People’s clothes will change when they are effected by the spell into something appropriate to their song and/or dance. Also, he added the random element of of RHPS into the mix. Not only will people sing about their own private thoughts, they’re also just as likely to belt out a tune from Rocky Horror complete with appropriate costumes. You get where I’m goin’ with this…: )
[Note: This fic takes place at some time after OMWF. Most of Smashed didn’t happen, just the part at the beginning when Buffy rejects Spike. What was her problem anyway? I woulda jumped Spike’s sexy undead bones long ago if I were her!]. I added some links to pics of RHPS meant to inspire your crazed imaginations. If links don't work try copying and pasting the url.]
{Spike’s Crypt}
Spike is laying on his back on the sarcophagus in his crypt staring at the ceiling. His fingers are laced behind his head. His jaw clenched with tension.
“Bloody bitch!” He seethes. “Thinks she’s better than me! After everything I did to help her, keeping the Bit safe, patrolling and saving her precious soddin’ Scoobies’ asses more times than I can bloody count!” Spike rants. “Not to mention tryin’ to provide her comfort and givin’ her a shoulder to cry on, a sympathetic ear. I have to accept that she’ll never care ‘bout me. I’ve just been fooling myself. I should jus’ pack up and leave this rotten bloody town once and for all.” He resolves to do just that. Finally.
Buffy throws the door to the crypt open with a bang. Spike jolts upright on the slab. His eyes narrow.
“What do you want ?” He asks angrily. “If you need help with a beastie, you can forget it, I’m not interested.”
“Spike, something really freaky is going on.“ Buffy says with urgency. “I think that Sweet guy is back, people are - “
Spike interrupts her. “Are you deaf?! I said, I’M…NOT…BLOODY…INTERESTED!! Now SOD OFF!” He slides off the slab and stalks over to his refrigerator, getting out a bottle of vodka. “I’m through being your lapdog Slayer,” he says opening the bottle and taking a swig. “I’m leavin’ town, getting’ on with my unlife, as it were. I was a fool to ever even consider that you might feel something for a creature like me. I’m done.”
Buffy is stunned. The trauma of seeing Giles turn into Frank N Furter and singing ‘Sweet Transvestite‘, knowing that Sweet must be back, coming to Spike for help only to have him yell at her like that. Now he says he’s leaving town? He has his back to her, she can’t see his face, but by his posture and the set of his shoulders she can tell that he’s serious about leaving, he really means it. The thought of Spike not being here makes her feel ill, it scares her. She wants him here, with her. But more than that, she needs him with her. The realization hits her like a physical blow. She can’t let him leave. She has to tell him how she feels before it’s too late… But she’s so afraid. What if he laughs at her? What if he gives her a, “Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn!” And what if he stays with her? What would her friends say about her sleeping with the evil undead? Would they look down on her? The urge to run away from her emotions is too great. It’s what she does best, besides slaying. She turns and starts to run out of the crypt but then stops abruptly. A strange sensation passes through her body, leaving her with more clarity of thought than she’s ever had before. She knows exactly what she wants. And she knows what to do about it.
{Warren’s Basement} a few minutes earlier…
Jonathan, Warren and Andrew are working on various projects around the lair. Andrew is currently checking the video monitors, hoping to be the one to find Buffy’s fatal flaw. Warren would be so happy. He might even hug him again! Andrew sighs dreamily before getting back to work.
“Nothing going on at The Magic Box.” He says to himself. “Time to switch over to Spike’s crypt, see what’s going on there.” Mmmm, Spike! He’s just so…dangerous. Andrew often volunteers to watch the monitors at night when Warren and Jonathan want to sleep just so he can drool over Spike without worrying about being caught in the act by them. He’s watched hours of Spike just watching tv. He could watch him do anything.
Something is happening in the crypt. Buffy is there and it looks like Spike is yelling at her.
“Guys! Come here, something is going on at the crypt!” He turns the sound up.
Warren and Jonathan hurry over to the monitor station and stand behind Andrew’s chair. They hear Spike saying, “…might feel something for a creature like me. I’m done.”
“Look at Buffy’s face,” Jonathan says with concern. “She looks kinda sick, doesn’t she?”
“Good. Maybe it will be fatal,” Warren smiles coldly. Jonathan glares at him briefly before turning back to the monitors.
“Hey, Sparky, make yourself useful and get us some Zima’s from upstairs,” Warren says, nudging Jonathan with his elbow.
“OOOOH, Zima!” Andrew says excitedly.
“Why do I have to go? I want to see what happens too!” Jonathan whines.
“Oh, will you just do it! We’re taping everything anyway.” Warren says impatiently.
“Fine! Whatever…I don’t care.” Jonathan grumbles as he trudges away and up the stairs, slamming the door. Warren shakes his head and returns his attention back to the monitors. He pulls over his own deluxe, leather, evil overlord chair and sits down.
On the screen, Buffy turns suddenly and runs towards the exit. But just as suddenly, she stops and just stands there. The duo look in monitor #3, which provides a different camera angle, so that they can see Buffy from the front.
“Zoom in on #3,” Warren orders. Andrew complies, zooming in on Buffy’s face. Emotions are playing over her features, her eyes wide. She looks like she’s trying to figure something out. Then she visibly relaxes, a slow, and distinctly naughty looking, smile spreads across her face.
Warren and Andrew sit up straight as a strange feeling passes through both of them at them same time. Warren looks down at himself. He’s wearing women’t lingerie! Black fishnet stockings, a corset, panties and a filmy black robe. And strangely, he’s okay with it. It seems right somehow. He looks at Andrew, who is experiencing the same phenomenon, he’s wearing trashy lingerie too. A ratty striped pajama top over top his black corset and panties. His ensemble is completed with a pair of Mickey Mouse ears on top of his head. He reaches up and touches them, smiling like a kid on Christmas morning. “Whoa, Coool!”
They laugh and look back at the scene unfolding in the crypt. “Tell us about it, Buffy !” They say in unison, laughing hard.
{Spike’s Crypt}
Spike can still feel her presence. He thought she was either going to run away again or beat the snot out of him. “Time to tell her to go play in traffic,” he thinks as he takes a deep breath and turns towards her. She’s standing about 10 feet away facing the door. He opens his mouth to say something when music starts playing out of nowhere. Spike shuts his mouth with a snap and jumps slightly. “Where the hell’s that music comin’ from?” He looks around wildly. He pauses. “Oh, no…not again,” he says hanging his head, remembering all to well the spell that Sweet cast over Sunnydale. He looks up sharply as Buffy begins to sing in a high, pretty voice.
/ I was feelin’ done in /
/ couldn’t win. I’d only ever kissed before /
When Buffy is fully turned towards Spike, he can’t help but notice that her clothes are different than they were not 5 minutes ago. She was now only wearing a white bra and slip.
His eyes bug out and his mouth goes dry at the sight. “What - What happened to your clothes?”
{Warren’s Basement}
Andrew: You mean she’s - “ Warren: Uh-huh.
{Spike’s Crypt}
Buffy ignores Spike’s question, she saunters towards him. Spike swallows hard. He can see the naked lust in her eyes.
“Now Buffy, luv,” he puts his hands up to ward her off, “this is some weird spell or somethin', okay? You have to fight it! Buffy?" She smiles even more broadly than before, her eyes raking over his body. Spike looks down at himself to see what she's smiling about.
"BLOODY HELL!" He shouts. He is now wearing only a tiny pair of gold speedos that leave little to the imagination. When he looks up again Buffy is standing right in front of him, reaching out to touch his chest. He closes his eyes and sucks in unneeded air when her hot hands make contact with his skin. He tries to back away from her, but finds that he’s already backed against the sarcophagus. He’s trapped. "Bugger.”
/ I thought there’s no use getting /
/ Into heavy petting /
Spike tries to grab her hands. He has to make her stop! He can’t take much more of this. But Buffy won’t be deterred from her task, she moves one hand to grasp his bicep while her other rubs his chest.
/ It only leads to trouble /
/ And seat wetting /
“Buffy please snap out of it, for God’s sake!” His voice is desperate. He’s trying to be good, he really is!
/ Now all I want to know /
/ Is how to go /
/ I’ve tasted blood /
/ And I want more /
The two kisses she had previously shared with Spike had been mind blowing, exciting and inflaming her more than she had thought was possible. If just a kiss can make her feel like that, how amazing will it be to have him on top of her, inside her... Her entire body is throbbing in excitement, she’s eager to find out.
{Warren’s Basement}
Andrew and Warren: More, more, more!
{Spike’s Crypt}
/ I’ll put up no resistance /
/ I want to stay the distance /
She slides her hands over his shoulders to the back of his neck, pulling him to her.
/ I’ve got an itch to scratch /
/ And I need assistance /
She reaches down and takes his wrists in her hands, bringing his hands to her body. Spike’s willpower is fading fast. He can’t help but revel in the feel of her soft, burning hot skin under his now trembling hands.
Buffy closes her eyes and tosses her head back, a look of purest pleasure on her face. His cool hands feel like heaven on her fevered flesh.
/ Touch-a touch-a touch me /
/ I wanna be dirty /
/ Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me /
/ Creature of the night /
Spike manages to gather his wits one more time and successfully pries her hands off of his wrists.
“Buffy! I’m begging you now, alright! Stop it! I can’t be responsible for my actions if you don’t STOP NOW!” He tries to move away from her but she’s faster than him, blocking his escape. He tries to crawl backwards, up and over the slab, but she gets a firm grip on his slim hips and holds him in place. He grits his teeth and squeezes his eyes shut, trying to control the involuntary reaction his body is having to her actions, not to mention the words she‘s singing. But it’s already a lost cause.
/ Then if anything grows /
Buffy’s eyes widen as she looks down at his prominent bulge, he looks about ready to burst out of his speedos. She giggles. Something is growing alright!
/ While you pose, /
/ I’ll oil you up /
/ And rub you down /
{Warren’s Basement}
Andrew and Warren: Down, down, down!
They lean in closer to the monitors, wrapped up in the drama playing out in front of them.
{Spike’s Crypt}
“Buffy - I can’t....please, luv! You’re killing me!” Spike pleads. He’s used up his reserves, he won’t be able to control himself much longer.
/ And that’s just one small fraction /
/ Of the main attraction /
/ You need a friendly hand /
/ Oh, and I need action! /
Buffy takes his wrists again and puts his hands on her breasts. Moving them up, down and around, causing him to rub her. Spike is mesmerized watching his hands on her beautiful breasts, he can feel her hardened nipples through the bra. They could cut glass.
“Buffy - God...I... Oh, SOD IT!” He gives in to her and starts fondling her with a vengeance. Buffy gasps and moans loudly as he enthusiastically and expertly caresses her. She releases his wrists, now that he is actively participating, and pulls his head down to her neck which he starts to kiss, lick and suck at hungrily.
/ Touch-a touch-a touch me /
/ I wanna be dirty /
/ Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me! /
/ Creature of the night! /
Spike pulls her back with him onto the sarcophagus, rolling them so that she’s laying on her back. They begin kissing passionately, desperately, all of the UST they’ve stored up exploding. He gets up on his knees and rips off her bra and slip with an animalistic growl before diving back down, fusing their lips together again.
Buffy feels like she’s back in Heaven. She’s never felt this way with anyone else. She has to have him right now or she feels like she’ll die! She moves her lips to his neck, to bite and suck at the delicious column of his throat. Meanwhile, her busy hands glide down his body to work at releasing him from the speedos, pushing them down. Spike groans.
{Warren’s Basement}
Andrew (imitating Buffy): Touch-a touch-a touch me! Warren (also imitating Buffy): I wanna be dirty! Andrew: Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me! Warren: Creature of the night!
They are laughing, groping at and tickling each other.
{Spike’s Crypt}
Spike and Buffy are really going at it now. Their bodies fitting together like two interlocking puzzle pieces. They’re moaning and gasping into each other’s mouths. Spike raises himself up, not breaking his rhythm for a moment, supporting his weight on his hands, palms laying flat on either side of Buffy’s head. He needs to see her face, he wants to remember every detail of this unexpected gift he has been given.
/ Oh, touch-a touch-a touch me! /
/ I wanna be dirty! /
/ Thrill me, chill me, fulfill me - oh - /
/ Creature of the night! /
/ Creature of the ni - i -ght! /
“Oh, God!” Buffy thinks. “It’s never felt this good!” She looks up into Spike’s stormy blue eyes as he pounds into her. He frowns slightly, then sings.
Spike: / Creature of the night /
Then Spike morphs into Riley (Argh!) wearing glasses.
Riley: / Creature of the night? /
Riley morphs into Giles as Frank N Furter.
Giles: / Creature of the night /
Giles morphs into Andrew as Columbia.
Andrew: / Creature of the night! /
Andrew morphs into Xander as Riff Raff.
Xander: / Creature of the night /
Xander morphs into Warren as Magenta.
Warren: / Creature of the night /
Warren morphs back into Spike (thank God!) who immediately picks up where he left off, thrusting like mad. The squickiness Buffy felt a few moments ago at having Spike change into all those different people quickly disappears. She’s so close, so - She shrieks as she flies off the precipice into ecstasy , the likes of which she’s never known.
Spike: / Creature of the night! /
Spike joins Buffy in bliss as he sings, his face contorting in indescribable pleasure, changing from vamp then back to human again.
/ Creature of the night! Oh! /
Buffy and Spike ride out the last waves of their orgasms, clutching at each other. Finally, Spike collapses on her, completely spent, shifting to the side so that he doesn’t crush her under him. He buries his face in her hair, murmuring her name and kissing her neck softly. Buffy smiles and sighs as only a thoroughly satisfied woman can. She caresses his back and shoulders, relishing the feel of his supple skin and the hard muscle beneath it. They stay that way for some time, both gradually coming back down to earth.
Spike slowly raises his head to look at her. “You’re not gonna stake me now, are you?”
Buffy giggles. “No! Why would I want to do that?” She runs her fingers through his surprisingly soft hair.
He drops his gaze from hers, looking guilty. “You were under the influence of a spell. I know that you wouldn’t ’ve come near me otherwise. I shoulda been stronger, not taken advantage of you.” He looks dejected.
Buffy puts her hands on his handsome face, forcing him to look at her. “Hey, in no way, shape or form could what happened have been you taking advantage of me. I threw myself at you...repeatedly! And you’re only human...well, you know what I mean! Okay?”
He smiles and leans down to kiss her softly.
“I know how difficult it must have been for you to hold off as long as you did.”
“You have no idea!” He brushes a thumb along her bottom lip.
“The spell didn’t make me want you or care about you. I already did.” She pauses, looking away from him. “When you said you were leaving... I knew you meant it And that’s when it hit me,” she turns her head back towards him, meeting his gaze. “I do care about you. A lot. I - I don’t know if it’s love, but it’s real and it goes deep,” she almost whispers.
Spike looks at her in awe for a moment, a small smile gracing his lips. “That’s more than I ever could ‘ve hoped for,” he kisses her almost chastely.
Buffy traces his cheekbones lovingly with a forefinger. “All the spell did was make me stop being an idiot and go for what I really wanted. I let fear and ‘what if’s’ guide my decisions for too long. So I guess I’ll have to thank Sweet for that when I see him, that would be right before I kill him, of course.
“Yeah, about that, luv...should we go try to, I dunno, find him or something?” He feels obligated to ask, but his heart isn’t in it.
She giggles. “Try saying that, once more with feeling!”
They chuckle. “What can I say, pet, I’d much rather stay here with you, making you scream my name for hours on end instead of trackin’ down a nastie.”
“Hours?” Buffy asks breathlessly, her eyes glazing over at the thought.
“Mmm hmmm,” he shoots her a sexy smile, curling his tongue behind his teeth.
“How is that possible? The longest I’ve ever done it was like, 15 minutes!
“Well, then, pet,” he slides a finger slowly up her arm, causing goosebumps to pop up on her skin, “you’re in for an education tonight. I’ve got a big, comfy bed downstairs.” His voice drips with sensuality. “I intend to show you what lengths a real man will go to - “
Buffy was off the slab and halfway down the ladder before he even finished the sentence. She pokes her head back up out of the hole in the floor. “Well? Are you coming or not?” She disappears from view again. Spike bounds off of the slab feeling happier than he can ever remember being and heads for the lower level. He smirks that patented Spike smirk of his.
“Oh yeah, I’m comin’, right behind you, luv!” He drops out of sight, down the hole where Buffy is waiting for him.
{Warren’s Basement}
Jonathan hurries back down the stairs with the drinks. “Hey, guys, we’re going to have to - Aaaagggh!” Jonathan screams, the bottles slip through his numb fingers and fall to the floor. The sound of glass breaking echoes off the basement walls. “Sweet merciful CRAP!” He squeaks.
Andrew and Warren, still dressed like Columbia and Magenta, stop laughing and look up from their tickle fight to see Jonathan staring at them with his mouth hanging open, doing his best imitation of a fish.
“You idiot!” Warren shouts, standing up. “That was the last of the Zima! Nice goin’ dickweed!”
“I don’t know what you guys have planned but you can count me OUT!” Jonathan turns and runs up the stairs and out of the basement, breaking a few land speed records in the process.
“What’s his problem?” Warren asks, turning back to Andrew and putting his hands on his hips, his filmy robe fluttering around him.
Andrew has a huge smile plastered on his face. He hopes that this spell will never end, he could get used to this. Shame about the Zima though.
THE END?
