I can Add to the list of gross things my Boys have taught me!
Mood:  bright
Happy Easter Everyone!

I asked Jonah what he learned at church last night and he simply said "Jesus is alive." JESUS IS ALIVE!!! Simple words out of the mouth of a child but such a profound statement. So, Happy Easter, Again, enjoy the day and enjoy its wonderful meaning!


OK, this past week has been uh...busy, I suppose is a good word! I learned another gross thing because I have boys....(because I KNOW if I had a little girl (LOL) she would never have gotten into this situation!)...rat bites don't hurt. (AYE YI YI!) You can all guess with about 100% accuracy which child this was (Jonah, for those of you who aren't familiar enough with us yet)...so I can add that to "When you feed a toad a lightning bug, it glows"....Still reminding myself that I just didn't KNOW that I wanted boys! LOL....

We had the boys' IEP (special education) meetings this past week. Boy oh BOY am I glad that's over! I've been stressing for three months over this... Jonah will be in a regular ed classroom and he will have a one on one aide with him for most of the day. He won't have the aide for science or social studies, but for the rest of the day, he will have extra help. This person will be watching for seizures as well, watching Jonah during recess (Jonah is extremely sensory seeking, so he's a "jumper", added to the fact that Jonah doesn't feel pain normally (hence the rat bite not hurting... oh, and I should probably add that it was a pet rat, Jon and the boys were volunteering at the humane society), so Jonah needs someone keeping an eye on him so he doesn't break his other foot!)

OK...in other news, Sam's alkaline phosphatase is going down. (Praise GOD!) Its origin is NOT bone, so there is no bone malignancy! We will repeat it again in a few weeks to make sure it is still going down. Sam had his occupational therapy and speech re-evaluations this past week. He's now at least 30% delayed globally...so we will be starting therapies with him shortly. He sure does say "mama" very clearly. Ha....in fact...he is waking up and yelling "MAMA" right now, so I will close for now....there's a Sammy waiting for me. Have a great day!

Note to Self...
Mood:  surprised
Note to self...Don't EVER Say the following words out loud (EVEN IF YOU'RE THINKING IT)..."Things are pretty quiet around here."!

You'll see that my last blog entry a full month ago, says those words...AYE YI YI! In the past month, Jonah is back on his B6 (after over 4 weeks off of it and a somewhat surprising return of his seizures!), having some fun behaviors, Sam hasn't stopped screaming at me for a couple months now (I'm beginning to think its a side effect of the Keppra?) and about a month ago, we were dilating Sam's eyes at home, as he, with his seizures, can't have the regular eye drops they use in the doctors office, and he had a systemic reaction to the atropine eyedrops. Boy, that was "fun"...but it passed. But not without some skill loss from all the seizures (He is walking better now, still kind of clumsy, and he is beginning to feed himself again, I was loving the regression and him just playing with his food...ugh) So, little did I know, these things were actually SMALL... He was admitted to the hospital because of the anticholinergic toxicity syndrome (toxidrome) and by the next morning, he was ready to be discharged. We were just about ready to go home when our world came crashing down around us. The doctor (the kids' pediatrician is not on staff at our closest hospital, and we had to go to the closest because Sam was a very sick little boy at that time) came back in to Sam's room and told me that we need to have a bone scan done on Sam right away because one of his blood tests came back critically high and the only thing it can be is a bone malignancy. (Can you hear the world crashing?) I kept my cool and then called the pediatrician, had the nurse fax over results and we went straight from the hospital to the lab to get blood work done. Due to an unbelievable comedy of errors, to this date, we still do not have the results of the test we need. We went in just this morning to have the correct test done (after 4 tries) and I kept telling them today that "We are here for a repeat alkaline phosphatase and we need the isoenzyme defractionation done with that!" Yes...I told everyone who would listen...LOL...NEED it done. I'm pulling my hair out...but I am doing better now. Sam seems fine, other than the intolerable screaming at me all the time (which started getting bad about a week after he started on his regular dose of the Keppra). His alkaline phosphatase was, to begin with, over 7,300. Upper limits of normal is about 350, and an elevation up to around 400 could be normal in a kid going through a growth spurt. His alk phos is going down, just not nearly fast enough for my liking! So, in my simple thinking, if this were a malignancy, it would not be going down on its own, without treatment. His liver enzymes have remained normal, so we really need the defractionation to find out if its coming from his bones or intestines...an after effect of having had rotavirus several days before the medication reaction. So...we shall see. The lab people assured me that the correct test was being done and now, with any luck from the lab gods, we will have results in a few days.

OK, so that's what's been going on in the last month. Not much else...definitely NOT been quiet. More later!

Dare I say it...Things are "Quiet"!!!
Mood:  smelly
Howdy All,

I can't say this too loudly, or the noise gnomes will hear...so listen carefully! Things are going well here! Even with three kids plus mama with a bout of the stomach flu...things are quiet. Can you stand it?!?!? Pretty Cool, huh? Granted, in 19 minutes, all three boys will be out of bed and I will have to get the twins ready for school and breakfast and fight with Jonah to put socks on and do speech practice and get something out for dinner, once I figure out what that's going to be, and laundry (and more laundry) and I have to do labels today for my lotions/soaps/salts...they are not getting done on their own, vacuum downstairs, get freecycling stuff on the board, make a batch of soap, a couple batches of lotion and a batch or two of bath salts. And that is all before noon when the twins get home from school!

OK, I did something entirely stupid the other day. My hair was pretty much all one length (almost shoulder length) and for SOME reason (I'm not entirely sure why!) I gave myself bangs the other day. I haven't worn bangs since 1989 and they REALLY highlight all the grey hair that is popping up...not sure what to do about this...I look really awful in bangs (and grey hair...but God saw to that (and I EARNED EVERY ONE OF THEM!) so I can live with that one...but the bangs thing...this is a problem. I like having hair problems...it means that I am not freaking out about anything else!

Jonah, on day #12 with no seizure meds...WOW...the kid is more clear, more articulate, he can sit for 10 minutes to do homework, he is speaking more clearly, he is calmer...and this is not just me noticing this...my mom, my sister... Find it hard to believe actually, but he's doing awesome! The teacher called on Friday, and even though Jonah was home sick on Friday, I wrote her a short book full of questions. She and the classroom aide hadn't seen ONE (not ONE!!!) staring episode last week! (down from sometimes 5 or more per day!). Jonah asked what the number was on his shirt and I told him and he actually remembered it several hours later...now that doesn't seem like much, but Jonah can be sitting at the dinner table, with his plate and cup in front of him, fork in his hand, and forget what he's doing! So remembering a number a few hours out is a really big deal. (He doesn't recognize numbers on his own, unless its 1-11, because 11 is his favorite number)

OK, off to wake up the troops. I wonder if we are going to get snow today...I should check the weather...it looks icky outside...that would make a good day perfect! (LOL, I've only been awake for an hour...but its already a good day!) Ciao! Jen

Back From the Hospital, Waiting to Exhale
Mood:  not sure
Howdy All!

We got back from the hospital on Thursday afternoon. Jonah was AWESOME and was getting "itchy" to get out of there by Tuesday (we went in on Monday), but he did awesome! He has now (with two weekends, this past one being a four day weekend) been out of school for 10 days and I can't help but think I am going to have an impossible time waking him up at 7 tomorrow morning. (AYE YI YI!) The good news is that he has exhausted himself out completely (he finally fell asleep around 3 a.m. last night!) and is now sound asleep on the couch! So, perhaps he will get enough sleep and won't be intolerable tomorrow morning!

I'm waiting for the doctor to call me back in regards to the EEG. We hope to figure out what is going on with some certainty. The doctor did say that "we" might just have to accept that Jonah is developmentally delayed and that he is not normal. (OUCH!!!) I don't see it. I see Jonah as, and treat him as, a normal kid. We shall see....

But for tomorrow...he's back to school! More later! Jen

Here Goes...
Mood:  caffeinated
Howdy All,

We're getting ready to go to the hospital for Jonah's monitoring. I've packed for Sam (he'll be at a friend's house for a day and a half this week), me, Jonah. Daniel's school stuff is ready. My blankie is packed. (Yes, MY blankie...anyone have a problem with that? LOL, and has anyone else noticed how impossibly COLD hospitals can get overnight?)

So, we are off. I didn't sleep much last night and poor Daniel is feeling pretty under the weather. I think he and Sam are both coming down with something. It sounds, for Daniel, (Sam hasn't coughed yet for me), like croup...but he's 5 1/2, can he still get that croupy cough? Crazy. My poor baby! He slept with me last night and I think I have bruises on my face...he flops around and I actually got kicked in the face several times. He just doesn't feel well. Poor little angel. I'm not going to worry (Right!), my fully capable family will call me if they need me. Aye yi yi! OK, I will update when I can! Jen

Triple Threat....
Mood:  mischievious
Howdy All,

I've been stressed all week! Muah ha ha ha ha!

I'm going crazy! I'm a "triple threat", Flaky, Fidgety, Feisty!!!

Flaky...uh, well that goes without saying, I suppose. LOL, but, just one example of the extreme flakiness I'm experiencing...This week, I went into the bathroom to wash my face, brush my teeth, etc... I got my toothbrush out and proceeded to use the pump hand soap to squirt soap onto my toothbrush. Thankfully, I realized what I was doing before I put the toothbrush into my mouth... OH MY!!!

Fidgety...Jonah is going into the hospital on Monday morning for epilepsy monitoring. I'm busy trying to get laundry done (so its not piled up when we get home), just detail stuff, making sure that there's enough meds here for the other two, milk in the house, etc. So, where does "fidgety" fit in? I am having so much freaky anxiety over this upcoming hospitalization...its ridiculous. I am a nervous wreck! Not really understanding where that's coming from...I don't really have much problem with nerves anymore...but I have been verging on panic several times this week...UGH!

Feisty... Well, you'd be feisty too if you almost got a self-induced mouth full of soap.

Just gotta get through...keep on keepin' on! More later!

Seizures and Coughing and Bloody Noses...OH MY!
Mood:  loud
Howdy All,

I kept Jonah home from school for one more day. He's going tomorrow whether he likes it or not! HA! He got so angry with me yesterday for keeping him home, because it was gym day. He was loud and obnoxious today...hmmmm, back to his normal self?

I had an irritating day. The sattelite TV guy came to install another receiver and he came right as I was getting ready to put Sam down for his nap. I get so aggitated when others (in this case, my sister) do things that are so inconsiderate of my time, my schedule...argh! This wasn't really my sister's fault, the times they gave her were the ranges between 10 and 2 or between 1 and 5...either one of those could interfere with Sam's nap. I had to run to the grocery store this morning and just wanted to go to the store, get home, put the stuff away, do some laundry...AYE YI YI...my mom was like "Let's go to Hallmark." Which, in a normal family (I'm beginning to believe there really isn't such a thing!), means, ok, we'll go to A Hallmark store. In my obsessive, compulsive, wacko family...it means we're hitting EVERY Hallmark in a 50 mile radius because there is a 75% off sale and each store is different so we have to go to ALL of them. And then I had to run her to the mechanic because her car was done. I was supposed to be home WAY before her car was ready so that Sam could be napping to escape the sattelite man! GRRRRRR. This family communing thing isn't all its cracked up to be. So, Sam didn't get a nap. Jonah's still seizure-y and virus-y. I was just irritated ALL DAY LONG...ugh. Don't like this feeling. I have a headache! Ha. OK, not much else going on. I'm just ready for today to be done. Jonah kept rolling off of the back of the couch today...he is such a nut. Daniel was rocking on Sam's rocking "winnie the pooh" toy and Sam decided it was his turn and went up to Daniel and pulled his hair to get him off of it. He's so cute, I wish he were twins. Aye yi yi!!! More Later!

BLAHHHHHHHHGGGGGHHHHHHHHH
Mood:  don't ask
Aye yi yi!

Jonah had SOOO many seizures today. It was miserable. So much for the med helping. Crap. I had to pick him up from school. They are intolerably stupid. The nurse called me and, she is sweet, but sweet doesn't help my kid. She said he's pale and doesn't look well. I asked if he'd had a seizure and she and his aide said "no". When I got there to pick him up, I could tell he had had probably several, he was pale and the big, honkin' bags under his eyes...the Jonah giveaway that he has just had seizures or his is going to very quickly. He seemed OK (as evidenced by him telling me "I TOLD you I didn't feel good!" (Thank You, Jonah, I really didn't feel crappy enough!) (Bad Mom tattoo time getting closer...send my kid to school having seizures...aye yi yi!) But, he seemed fine (relatively speaking) and so I ran to the bank (since I was half-way there, headed in the right direction!) and ran into Meijer to grab some batteries for the boys new (super bargain price, Mama ROCKS for finding good buys) game. Jonah had a seizure as we were in line, paying for our batteries...he started speaking to the cashier in a language that only he understands and then proceeded to eat his kleenex....did I already say Aye yi yi? OK, day continued like this and I don't need to go on because it just gets worse from there!

Sam's cute, likes to throw his glasses... (Thanks, Sam...great game. I like it a lot) As he laughs maniacally every time Mama "fetches" his glasses. Glad I can amuse someone.

Daniel was a cuddle bug today...total cuddle bug! Sweet.

I got to do nothing for me today. Nothin'. LOL... not like that is unusual or anything...just feeling like I need something...shopping? Its so sad. I am too tired to shop. Isn't that awful? More later!

Feel Better, Got Some Retail Therapy Squeezed into the Schedule
Mood:  a-ok
How can anything be bad when I bought a new garbage can? Its bad...I just had to buy *something*. Well, OK, I admit, I did get more than a garbage can...although I needed to get one and it felt good to get that purchased!

I also found a very funny long sleeved T-shirt that reads "I Have Issues"...not sure why I find that so amusing but well, I am still giggle-snorting about it. I need to find one in Jonah's size. HA! He'd wear it proudly!

Sam is already napping (ahhhhhhhh, silence, except for the twins playing with their handcuffs...) (Oh, no, I'm not kidding...my sister bought them a pair of metal handcuffs, cops & robbers type handcuffs...cute, eh?) I'm not a fan of them, but other than the loud metal sound, it keeps them relatively quiet.

I was pretty much beside myself earlier this week, I was aggitated that I felt the neurologist didn't listen to what I was telling him. Jon (in a moment of unexplained clarity) suggested writing the neuro a brief letter to "better clarify" what we are seeing with Jonah. I feel like, even now, that he had his chance...but that is just me being stubborn...so I may do that. And, I am calling our regular pediatrician after their lunch break to have him call me back in regards to Sam's well baby visit last week...it was disasterous because we saw a different doctor who doesn't know Sam at ALL and oh...I feel/felt rotten about that too! I felt like ringing these doc's necks last week. Its like "I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING WRONG!!!" so I don't get why mamas get to feeling this way sometimes. I'm not one to roll over and play victim, but that seems to be pretty much what I did this time around. I'm still considering changing neurologists, simply because I have to think about the boys first and foremost. I feel a kind of debt of gratitude to their neurologist, so in that regard, I feel we should stick with him, but I feel like fighting and will not hesitate to fight if I feel my boys are not getting the best possible care. So, the mama bear in me says that I need to make a change here. So...that's that.

OK, nothing new and exciting. Its been a while since I've posted, hopefully I'm done with computer problems! This is two times now that I've been able to post to the blog, so maybe its resolved. More later!!!

HELL week...
Mood:  irritated
I've returned from the great abyss...I am going to keep this entry very short, mostly as a test run because I am having some computer problems...Repeat after me: "Verizon provides the best customer service on the planet." OK, now reapeat after me, this time adding dripping sarcasm to your utterance... "Verizon provides the BEST customer service on the planet!"....

We've been busy this week. I actually had my entry all in my head last night and when I have puter problems, I get very discombobulated, so I have forgotten it all...

Jonah & Sam are both on a new seizure medicine, so that's been fun. Jonah is going for more genetic testing at the end of this week. Fun also. Sam is still not sleeping (joy of joys) and I'm going semi-nuts (OK, you all know I'm way past that) with everything that is my life. I am ready to go off the deep end with the school and homeschool the boys...I just am not sure how I would handle that. Jonah especially does very well behavior-wise with the discipline of the school. They do enjoy school, but I just don't think they're getting the most out of any of it.

OK, I will stop for now, hopefully more later, if this goes through...I have to run to the fabric store today to get some...you guessed it! OK, the snow is starting outside and I've lived in such a bubble (watching ed, edd & eddy all weekend) I didn't know it was supposed to snow...off to clip coupons, feed Sam, drink my tea which is probably cold by now, get dressed and go to the store. Later

Snow, Snow, SNOW!!!
Mood:  lazy
We got a butt-load of SNOW on Friday night. Over 12"!!!!! CRAZY snow! I was out there like a dandruff-covered fool shoveling the driveway and the I heard a loud "SNAP"....after moving all of my joints, making sure it wasn't me making the bad noise (a real necessity these days, with my achey, arthritis-y joints!), I looked up and it was a pine tree bough...and it fell on me! The WHOLE &*^%$$&* branch fell on my head! The branch wasn't the bad part, it was all the SNOW!! Holy AVALANCHE BATMAN!!! I was wearing my bright yellow polar fleece jacket, so I figured someone would eventually find me...my life flashed before my eyes. YIKES! Fortuately, it didn't come to that. I was able to move a bit (even without falling or sliding down the driveway) and escaped most of the snow. So, lots of snow.

One Major PEEVE: PEOPLE...brush your damned cars off! I took the boys to the aquarium on Saturday morning. We had to take the tollway and you wouldn't BELIEVE the number of idiots who brush off just enough snow off of the front windshield and just leave the rest to blow off (into my windshield and onto MY CAR THAT I TOOK THE TIME TO BRUSH OFF!) C'mon folks...git off yer ass and brush off yer car!

We had a surprise party for my cousin today. I got the balloons out and handed them to my mom... but sadly, I accidentally touched a handful of them...crap...within about 30 seconds, my throat started itching (on the inside) and my lips started tingling...severe allergic reaction beginning within 30 seconds of touching latex...wow, a new personal record. So, needless to say, I had to chew a few benedryl and keep my epi-pen nearby. (As if chewing benedryl isn't enough!) And then slept through half of the party. That's it...NO BALLOONS next time!

OK, uh...snow on the ground, I got snowed...can't think of much else going on. I will take a pic of the yard tomorrow, it is just GORGEOUS in the snow... amazing. God's beauty just astounds me sometimes. Granted, I take just as much joy in the beauty of a 90* day with beautiful green foliage in August, maybe more...but it really is amazing.

Jonah had a very bad day today. He just had a really tough time. He even said to me that he "tried really hard to have a good day" and it breaks my heart when he cries, that really really sad cry. Broke my heart totally. I took him to Caribou and he had a decaf coffee (I couldn't convince him that hot cocoa was a good idea) and a chocolate chip cookie. The two college kids in front of us in line ordered the last two cookies and Jonah was fit to be tied (Doesn't stuff like that ALWAYS happen when you've had a bad day?!?!?!) and he looked at me with tears in his eyes and said "But they're GROWN UPS!!!" Fortunately, meldown was averted because they had more cookies in the back (Thank GOD for little favors!) So, all went well!

I have to run to the store tomorrow to get some tempeh...(Anyone have a good recipe for homemade?) and mushrooms. I got other stuff for stir fry but need some protein...I have some tofu, but was thinking a tempeh stir fry would be yummy! Alrighty. Nothing new. Sam's having lots of seizures lately, we are weaning him off of the phenobarb and aye yi yi...falling a lot, head drops, eyes a-fluttering! This too, shall pass. Daniel is fine, a sweetie! OK, ciao, later, peace, love, hugs & bare feet! Jen

American Idol, Sales and Skating with Celebrities...Am I in HEAVEN?!?!?!
OK, the title of this entry says it ALL!!! Old Navy...sale. FUN! I got a hoodie, a pair of cargos and a cool tribal print long sleeved T for under $13!!! WOO HOO!

American Idol...love it. Skating with celebs... HOLY CRAP! I've died and gone to Heaven!!! OK, any of you who know me even just a *little* bit know that I'm watching skating with celebs to see them crashing their faces into the ice (Who among us hasn't wanted to see Debbie Gibson need plastic surgery for a facial injury?!?!?) And the bruises?!?!?! YAY! I feel so normal when I watch stuff like this!

Feeling kind of guilty...I went shopping, and had some drama at the DMV today instead of going to the Y to join to get my a$$ on the treadmill. Goodness gracious...I need to exercise. So, I need to get in there tomorrow to join. I feel so lazy. I wish I were allowed to FEEL lazy and BE lazy. Because feeling lazy really does me no good if I can't actually take a day off and BE lazy. In fact, feeling lazy is a pain in the butt when you simply can't be lazy.

I bought some red tea the other day. Holy CRAP! Its nasty. Anyone want some? It tastes like cigars smell. I just love tea and you totally never know til you try...but OY VEY! NASTY!

Alrighty...not much going on. It is 9:35 and I think I am pretty ready for bed. The kids are sleeping, although I fully expect Jonah to be in my bed again...In a cruel and ironic twist of fate, Sam slept last night...but Jonah was in bed with us. The kid sleeps like a fish out of water, flopping around like a mad man. His head ends up at the foot of the bed, so he ends up kicking me severely about the head and face...then he turns around and I get my ribs and face hit some more. And...worst of all...HE IS A BLANKET HOG!!! GRRRRR! I don't know who is "worse" Jonah I just described, but Daniel...well Danny doesn't kick, he just needs to sleep right ON TOP of me. UGH...so cruel twist of fate...Sam sleeps and I still don't. Ain't that just the way?!?!? OK, gotta get a bit of work done before going to bed!

Screaming and Pooping and Fighting...OH MY!
Mood:  loud
Howdy Everyone.

Sam screamed today. A lot. A whole lot! He screamed from the time I got him up, through breakfast, running around and lunch. Calmed down a bit for his bath, started again when I was getting him dressed. WAHHHHHHH! So, I put him down in his crib and figured I might as well lay down in there, at least he won't be screaming because I left the room. Then he started screaming and grunting....AHHHHHHH, NOW I get it. OK, so I take care of the little grunting problem (Poor thing... you'd think I would understand a non verbal kid's constipation by this point in my life! DUH moment) Then he FINALLY went to sleep. And so did I!!! I was SOOOOO exhausted by the screaming. I wanted to get some grocery shopping done, but I ended up doing that (with all three kids...what am I nuts?!?!) after dinner. (Nuts because of going out to the grocery stores after dinner and so close to Sam's bed time...which of course lead to more screaming...first he wanted the store circular, then he wanted a box of cereal, then he wanted Jonah's hair...) So, I felt a bit better for having slept a bit, but still pooped!

We went to a newer store called Fresh Market. I wish we had a Whole Foods closer to us. I don't like Fresh Market as much. I think we'll go to Whole Foods tomorrow...we will be out that way anyhow for a birthday party for one of the twins' classmates. After Fresh Market, we went to Meijer. PAIN IN THE DUPA that I am, I forgot to pick up gift cards!!!!!! (For said birthday party!) So, now I have to go BACK to get gift cards before the 12:30 party. UGH! I'm such an airhead. I was so excited to get my grocery bill down to $62 because of coupons (saved over $47!!!! I ROCK!) But even saving $47 doesn't make up for forgetting the birthday gifts! I feel like such a moron sometimes. Oh well, I am a loveable moron at least. (Although I think I was pretty cranky today!) Which reminds me of a shirt I saw for Sam, that I HAVE to buy for him...it reads "I'm the reason Mommy's CRANKY"....oh how true. I need the same shirts for the twins. I got a stupid comment at Meijer today...I LOVE stupid comments when I'm cranky! HA!!!!!!! Because I don't hold back my equally rude comebacks! So, I'm picking out yogurt and this otherwise very nice lady looked at the twins (who were having a burping and farting contest, although said nice lady didn't hear any farts or burps) So nice Yuppie lady takes one look at the twins and says "Well, you two are certainly close in age." (and anytime anyone says something like this, I feel like they are saying "Well, Mommy and Daddy were busy, eh?") So I just said, pretty loudly, as this was at the time that Sam was grabbing at the organic peach kefir on the shelf... "YEP, TWO WHOLE MINUTES APART"...I really like making rude people feel uncomfortable. Not nice. Not Christian...but I think God will forgive me for this one. How much is one person supposed to tolerate? YIKES!

AIIGHT....Off to wrap up a package that has to go out in the mail tomorrow. Off to put goodies in a bag for a surprise birthday party for my cousin on Saturday. Off to make me a nice Italian Soda. YAY... kiddos are all in bed, actually, the twins are having a "sleepover" downstairs in the family room, watching cartoons. But everyone's quiet.

Hugs, Love, Blessings & Bare Feet!!! Jen

Question of the day...Are Males Genetically Capable of Being Quiet?
Mood:  not sure
Village Idiot was home all day and spent a grand total of about 3 1/2 minutes with the baby. (He's the "hard" one to handle, you know) I'm so burnt out! The boys (Village Idiot, the twins & the baby) have been SO LOUD today...I am wondering if they are even capable of being quiet for just even two minutes!

Not much going on here...just kind of hanging out. I wanted to get to Whole Foods or Fresh Market today...didn't get out.

Steelers WIN. Bears Lose. Village Idiot had a bit of a temper tantrum when the Steelers had a bad call agains them. Sure, it was a bad call (even I could see that and I really couldn't care less). And, well...the Bears just got lazy. I guess we just have to continue to revel in the awesome '85 Bears...the team to which all of Chicago refers to when we refer to the Bears. (In the game which we all refer to as THE Superbowl)

Alrighty. I'm pretty boring today. So I'll sign off for now...

Jen

They're All In BED!
Mood:  rushed
Does life EVER slow down?!?!?! I got home last night at 12:30 in the morning!!! I am so not a night owl. The worst is driving home so late. I never go faster than like 2 1/2 miles over the speed limit, but I'm always afraid I'm going to get pulled over. OK, so I got home and went in to change Sam and took him to bed with me and OH...how I love having that baby in my arms. I love the little sounds he makes and how his breath feels on my face...I'm smitten. (And smitten by such a BAD BOY! LOL) OK, wanna see something cute? OK...take a look:

Pretty cute, eh? He is such a crazy kid.

The twins and I had a brithday party today. My boys are nuts (all of em!) but after seeing some of these other kids today...HOLY MOLY!!! My boys are angels. Although Jonah does have several scratches on his face...he knows just what buttons to push and he said something to Daniel yesterday and Daniel started wrestling him and did a "fair" job in beating him up. Aye yi yi! So, they do their fair share of wrestling. I went into the motherhood gig with the attitude that I am not going to force unnecessary gender things on the kids. Well, don't worry about forcing it...they figure it out all on their own! Boys play with guns...if you don't want guns in your house...forks become guns at dinnertime. So, much to my chagrin, they wrestle and fight enough to drive me very close to the edge of sanity. (and I'm already hovering perilously close to that edge...I don't need help!)

So...nothing new going on. I'm going to try to get to sleep at a decent hour tonight. Since Sam will be up a million times. The Village Idiot says he's going to get up with the baby tonight. Yeah. Right...so this is how it will go: He will fall asleep on the couch or in the twins' room (either of which is very close to Sam's room). Sam will cry. I will wake up (The village idiot will not) and the I will have to either stomp over to the village idiot and say "Get up with the baby, don't forget to change him" or I can just do it. So, he never hears him...that's annoying. Alrighty. More later! Jen

Broken Bones, Broken Glasses, Broken Brain...
Mood:  spacey
When is enough enough?!?!?!?

The good news today is that Jonah's foot is not broken. I can hold off on getting the "Bad Mom" tattoo for right now, I suppose.

Sam's got another doc appointment tomorrow morning. I just remembered it a few minutes ago. Good thing too. Its with the eye doc. She will see that he won't wear his glasses. What a cute kid. What a cute kid who never sleeps! GRRRRRRR. He was awfully "sweet" at three o'clock this morning. I went in there, he was crying. Changed him and gave him some milk and he was fine...and very very awake and cute and playful and giggly. Aye yi yi...what gives this crazy kid the idea that 3 a.m. is playtime?!?!? He's something.

We had a couple extra kids with us today. I watched a friend's little boy for just an hour or so and my sister was watching a little girl. She is going to be watching her and her sister for a few weeks and I am so discombobulated. I'm just so used to things being a certain way and I'm just starting to get used to my sister being here, not bad...just have to get used to it. We've both got very strong personalities and butt heads frequently. So, I'm *thrilled* that there are even more people here for a time. So, my brain hurts. A lot. Headache. I wanted to slam my bedroom door last night...just my own little rebelious thing... kids were all sound asleep, and out of frustration... so I went to shut the door and my bedroom is like vapor lock...LOL...its like air-tight and I'm stomping around like an idiot "Will some one open a window so I can slam the damned door?!?!?!" My acts of rebellion are even laughed at. The universe likes me to be good. When I get naughty...things don't go my way. Its like karma. For slamming the door last night (or trying to anyhow), today, the boys had the last bag of popcorn. Jonah always gives me a couple pieces (he's so sweet) and I was like "MMM, that was good." So I went up to pop some popcorn and it was all gone. I KNOW it was because of the door thing. You can fool a lot of things and a lot of people (I'm really bad at it...so I don't bother) but you can't fool the universe. It will come back to bite you in the butt EVERY time. (NO POPCORN FOR YOU!) So, despite the fact that I haven't been able to sit back and watch ONE television program in ages, the universe (or maybe its my sister) punished me by having "The 627 Pound Woman" on the big screen TV. And as if THAT weren't bad enough...The Universe felt the need to further punish me because the village idiot got home and now CSPAN is on. What in the name of GREEN TEA did I do to deserve this?!?!?! No popcorn, no relaxing and CSPAN. WHAT have I done? I try so hard to be good. I didn't raise my voice ALL DAY today. HOLY CRAP with all this craziness in this head lately...God love me, I didn't even utter a sarcastic word (ALL sarcasm is lost on 5 year olds anyways...takes ALL the fun out of it) and I was trying to clean up after dinner, Sam was in bed and Jonah started asking for popcorn (had I only known he was gonna eat the last one!!!) I told him he had to wait because I was doing dishes. 6 seconds later for the next 15 minutes he asked for popcorn and I finally told him that if he asked one more time he was going to bed. I had already told him I'd make it after I finished cleaning up. So, not 10 seconds later, Daniel comes up and I just looked at him and he grinned. I KNEW Jonah had sent him upstairs to beg for popcorn. And my mother was asking goofy questions about if she could send a check in to pay a bill and a receipt that she needed from a bill she paid months ago and was utterly confused about lots of things.....So there is basically no point whatsoever to this tirade. I guess I need a break sums it up...but apparently the universe doesn't like me very much today, so I'm probably not getting a break. And (More proof about the universe thing...) Not only do I NOT get a break...but the village idiot has me working with clients at a Republican Convention on Friday night. Does ANYTHING sound more scintillating?!?!? HOLY CRAP....I just love my life. OK...hmmm. There was no point to this. Other than the universe hates me. I could come up with several more examples proving this, but it would only further remind me how pathetic I feel right now and certainly wouldn't solve the problem.

Alrighty... Hugs, Love, Happiness & Bare Feet! Jen

Another ER Visit?!?!?!
Mood:  d'oh
This CRAZY child is going to be the death of me! Those of you who know us well, well...you know I can only be talking about one of my children (Although the baby is well on his way to being the same way!) JONAH!!! He had a seizure (I think, I wasn't right there when it happened) and took a fall down oh...just a "few" stairs. Hurt his left foot. SIGH!!!! I NEED A BREAK! Those of you who know us well ALSO know that Jonah broke his RIGHT FOOT in September and got the cast off in the middle of October. (This one was from jumping off of the back of the couch) I am just going to get "Bad Mom" tattooed onto my forehead to remove all doubt.

OK, so we haven't yet gone to the ER, even though my child who doesn't feel pain is complaining of pain. "WHY?!?!?" you ask? OH...that would be because I was on my way out to the pharmacy today to pick up the life-saving medications that get passed out around here like they're going out of style and my VAN WOULDN'T START. Beautiful. So, as you can see...my day went well. I mean, no one turned blue, no major seizures, no one choked on anything, so all in all...things are OK. So what... it doesn't matter that I am STILL in my pajamas, didn't get a shower, didn't get ANY laundry folded and that the dishes that I did this morning are still in the dishwasher. We got brownies made. (Heck...I think that was yesterday...) Crap. I accomplished NOTHING today. Well, I DID get that load of dishes into the dishwasher! I checked the mail. See...it wasn't all for nothing.

I spent HOURS trying to figure out an email problem, just to have Verizon "HELP" people tell me that they can't help with an email problem. (HUH?). I figured out what the problem was, and it was on their end so I contacted them again and was told the same thing (GRRRR...my number one pet peeve of all time is STUPID PEOPLE!) so, I basically (and I was SO NICE...that was tough) told her that the customer service that I was receiving was unacceptable. Of course, what is it that we ALWAYS hear when the "whatever" really is unacceptable? "I'm sorry you feel that way." Notice its not "I'm sorry I'm an idiot." or "I'm sorry that our policy sucks." Its that ZERO ACCOUNTABILITY thing that drives me NUTS! And then...Jonah falls down the stairs. LOVELY! So, in the middle of me trying to explain my position to "Vicky" the faceless idiot, she pops up on my screen "The verizon representative requests that you close this resolved trouble ticket" WELL... I CERTAINLY wasn't going to close it out. HA...that showed them....right? Powerless at my own computer. Powerless. Sad...huh? Well, I showed them too...because I spent the following HOURS upgrading the software so that the problem fixed itself. YIKES....I'm so tired of this computer that I had to sit here and vent! I'm a sick puppy.

OK, when my village idiot gets home (that's his name), I may have to take Jonah for an x-ray. I love this house! Until next time...

Another Day...More Craziness!
Mood:  not sure
Hi Everyone...

Saturdays are so much fun! HA! The twins don't have school and so my brain is fried by the time bedtime rolls around! They are best friends and worst enemies all rolled into one. They locked my sister in their bedroom today. Jonah had the idea and told Daniel to go lock the door when she was in there. (I've got the doorknob turned around so that they can't lock it from the inside...not a problem now, but a couple years ago, Jonah would hide when he was having seizures, he'd get scared and he'd lock the door!) So, well, what do you say? They help each other with everything...even if its too naughty for words!

They are still awake, watching a sci-fi movie about man-eating rhinoceros beatles...hmmmm. I think I'm too tired to fight it. They just informed me that "Dinocroc" is on next...I may have to put my foot down eventually.

Still in burnout mode. I can't seem to get any good sleep. Sam only woke up once last night but I am still exhausted. Not sure what the solution to this is...maybe sleeping for a week? Oh, that sounds heavenly...but I don't guess it will happen. I'm going to go to sleep earlier tonight and maybe get some decent sleep. Not gonna hold my breath, but maybe it will happen.

Nothing new going on today. Hopefully nothing new going on tomorrow either...boring is good. Kids don't get that. Boring is SOOOO good. Boring and sleep! Jon is always gone on weekends, so I should, in theory, be able to sleep well with the lack of snoring and other bodily noises that he is very good at making...but the boys always end up in bed with me, which is fine, but I always end up getting kicked severely about the head and face as they may not fart a whole lot but they sure to wiggle and move and kick a lot. Aye yi yi! So, for right now, I'm crossing my fingers and saying a little prayer that they fall asleep while watching the "sleep-inducing" man-eating bugs movie!

Alrighty...one weekend day down, one to go... Over and out...

Can I go to bed yet? And A lesson Learned!
Mood:  hug me
Its 10 PM...and I know where MY children are!!! They are (YES, even Jonah!!!) sleeping! Sam probably won't stay in his current slumber for long, but for right now...blissful sleep!

I've been in burnout mode lately and I don't think today will come to an end soon enough. (Actually, today will end in just under 2 hours, but I'm not sure that I will be sleeping by then...) Not complaining...what good would that do anyhow? I actually went to the health food store today and picked up some Valerian Root, hoping to gently end my insomnia. So far, it hasn't worked. That stuff sure does taste nasty though...so, no sleep but the good ol' gag reflex works just fine.

I've been doing a lot of self examination lately. All of these wonderful and wise women who tell moms with extra-special kids that "you need to take care of yourself or you won't be able to take care of anyone else." What wise, wonderful advice that is. Too bad its taken me 5 1/2 years of internalizing seizures and a million other kid issues to realize that this little gem of advice is one that ALL mamas need to take to heart. Taking time for ourselves, even if it is a hot bath after a full day of chasing our babies...we need to do whatever we can to nurture our spirits because we have so many people depending on us. We need to feel fresh and as calm as we possibly can in order to be the best Mamas we can be. My fuse has been prety short of late, a sure sign of burnout. I'm starting to take time. Just a bit of time to breathe. Time to calm down. My sweet boys need me to be open to them at all times, they don't need me to be frustrated at something else when they are needing me. I don't ever want them to think they can't come to me. This parenting *thing* is harder than any other journey I've ever taken. I'm learning and want to follow the right path. And that's the right path for my children, first and foremost. We need to take time for ourselves, true, but it is a very delicate balance... keeping our selves intact, keeping our spirits fun and healthy and vibrant and alive, and being and becoming the very best mothers we can be.

So, lesson learned. Take time to nurture our spirits, keep learning how to be the best mothers we can be and keep our kids first, and throw a little fun into the mix as often as humanly possible. Childhood is a journey, not a race. Motherhood is a journey, not a competition. Peace within ourselves is a journey that we must consciously choose every minute of our lives.