well, i'm an only kid probably considered somewhat spoiled, i've grown up in a nice house and have a great little family. i grew up in a church where my uncle was the pastor. when i was 8, i woke up one morning and told my mom i was ready to be saved. she helped me make the best decision i've made in my life. we moved churches, and i went on mission trips to myrtle beach and ny, got fired up, school started, and things were back to normal. 8th grade was rough. the company for which my dad worked was closing and it looked like we'd move to maryville, my best friend moved to ohio, and my papaw had lung cancer. thanksgiving was spent in the hospital with him. nothing seemed right. i wanted drastic changes in my life but wasn't willing to make any myself. thanksgiving of my freshman year, my papaw died. the hardest thing i've done was watch him be carried out. i grew bitter towards God, thinking if i had good grades, a good social life and kept being the good girl i'd always been, things would be ok. i got into a dating relationship that turned really sour, depended on anyone but God, and constantly argued with my parents. my "big bro" was the only one i could count on. he constantly encouraged me and tried to set me straight. he knew when something was wrong and prayed with me right then. i became a lot more independent, made changes in hopes of becoming more Christlike, and met a group of awesome Christian girls who were just what i needed. things were ok until i went to europe. i came back to find out a good friend drowned 3 days earlier. i was in total disbelief. the times we hung out raced through my mind. what was the last thing he thought; the last thing i said to him? if i'd been here, would anything be different? i think about what happened to him each day. there are many sleepless nights and days i cry, but i'm thankful i got to know him and will hang with him again in heaven. that summer was also hard for our youth group. we tried to be unified and satan attacked us whether by being lied to or feeling like we were obligations. on a missions trip to ny, i did a lot of thinking about God's grace and what needed to change instead of how i'd gotten by. God totally restored my joy, all bitterness gone. i couldn't get enough of Him! we got back and i went in front of the church to make it known-things were gonna be different. i let go of things and let God do what He wanted. i can't tell you how blessed i've been since that day! He gives me so much i could never deserve. i've seen a 180 in our youth group. God blessed me tons by bringing someone into my life this year who teaches me so much and makes me wanna be more like Him everyday. through everything evan does, i see the humbleness of Christ. what an encouragement. in our relationship he's shown me things i would've never seen. i have a supportive church family and the most stinkin awesome pastor and youth minister ever. they truly have servants' hearts. my parents and i get along much better. i could tell my mom anything and goof off with my dad about anything. God is amazing guys. His love will never change or fail you, and for that i'm extremely grateful! only by His awesome grace and uncontested mercy can i do or be anything, and i pray what i do and how i act shows His wonderful love.