Interview With the A's


Hey everybody! This is Marina from tEEEny mag reporting for duty! And guess who I got an interview with?!? THE A'S!!! Oh my God, I cannot believe it. They are so awesome! What? You've never heard of them? Oh. My. God. Trust me, by this time next year, they'll be the biggest girl group since the Spice Girls! And get this! We're gonna have a sleepover! Eeeeeeeeek!!!!!


Yours truly with the A's (L-R: Chrissy,Tina ,Joanna, Jaime, and Gigi)


Marina: Hey guys! Sup?
Gigi: We're not guys! We're girls, damn it! Girls!

Marina: Like, duh, I knew that. I was just saying, hey guys. Sheesh.

Jaime: Just ignore Gigi. She always gets a little hypersensitive right after she shoo...ucks, you know what I'm trying to say...you're a girl.

Marina: Oh yes, I know what you're saying. (We share a knowing look, the kind only girls can give each other)So, anyway, why don't girls each tell me a little about yourselves?

Chrissy:(waves hands in the air)Oooooooo, me! Pick me!!!

Marina: All right Chrissy. So, what can you tell the fans about yourself?

Chrissy: Well, I love being in the A's, cuz they actually let me sing now!

Marina: What do you mean by that?

Chrissy: Well, when I was in n...in the orphanage, where I grew up, they didn't like music.(everybody gasps) But now I can sing all I want!

Marina: That's great Chrissy!

Chrissy:Yeah. I'm the crazy one in the group! Like, look! (she gets up and starts to do the Macarena)

Marina:Right...how about you Jaime?

Jaime: Well, I'm from Miss (coughs) ouri!

Marina: Oh my god, I love it there!! Like, that giant horseshoe thing? So awesome.

Jaime: Wha...oh, yeah. Totally.But my favorite thing to do is go horseback riding. It's like, so romantic!

Marina: Yeah, it is. Joanna...um, Joanna?

Joanna:(stops stuffing her face with Doritos)Mmmph?

Tina: Just ignore her. That's all she ever does...eat eat eat, eat all day long. But nobody cares about her. Everybody just cares about me and mah fine ass.

Marina: Oh my god. You are in such great shape! How do you manage it?

Tina:Well, I play a lot of basketball.

Marina: That's so great! So you're athletic?

Tina: Hell yeah! I'm gonna be in the NBA--WNBA, that is.

Marina: Awesome! So, Gigi...

Tina: Excuse me, I wasn't finished.

Marina: I'm so sorry Tina, I just thought I'd get everybody to say a lil something.

Tina: But nobody gives a rat's ass about Gigi either! I'm the young one! I'm the pretty one! Do you see this goddamn tiara on my head?

Marina:Um...

Gigi:Tina...don't make me use my boa...

Tina: (eyes widen) No Gigi! Not the boa!!!

Marina: No, not the boa! Speaking of which, y'all have such gorgeous outfits on right now! Gigi, how did you come up with yours? It's, like, so fresh!

Gigi: Glad you asked. Well, I wanted to look sexy. And when you see leopard print, what do you think? Sex-y. When you see this skirt, what do you think? Sex-y!And these knee high boots? Totally sex-y! And I thought the boa was just, you know...

Jaime: Sexy?

Gigi: No, you moron. Sex-y.

Marina:So, how did y'all come up with your name?

Tina:Well, my name ends with an A, so we went with that.

Joanna: Wait...my name ends with an A too!

Tina: No it doesn't.

Joanna:Oh, ok. I was just thinking...

Tina: Don't think. So, as I was saying, this group is all about me. None of that bullshit about there being no I in *NSync...

Marina: Oh my god, I LOVE *NSYNC!!! They are SO HOTT!!! Oh my god, I think I'm hyperventilating just thinking about them...

Gigi: Tina, you asshole! Um, hey, why don't we get into our cute lil PJ's and have some girl talk?

Marina: OK, that sounds great!
~LATER~




Marina:So...girl talk with the A's.So tell me, how did you girls all come with the idea to get such chic haircuts? They're so...urban and hip!

Joanna: Well, Jaime wanted us to wear wigs, but we were all just like, no way!

Marina: Wait...huh?

Gigi: What Joanna meant was that Jaime was a little worried that these styles wouldn't flow well. But we proved her wrong!

Marina: Oh, I get it! Do any of you guys have some gloss?

Jaime: Yeah, here, have some of my Bonne Belle Roll-On Shine. It's Va-Va Vanilla, my favorite.

Marina: Oh my God, me too! Thanks Jaime! So, anyway, you know that, like, all these people just worship you now. What musical group do you girls idolize?

All: OH MY GOD, NSYNC!!!

Marina: Oh my god, me too!!! They are like, the hottest boy band around!

Gigi:WE'RE NOT A BOYBAND, DAMN IT!!! WE'RE A MALE VOCAL GROUP, B!TCH! GET IT STRAIGHT!!!

Marina: Whoa. I think maybe we're staying up too late...Gigi needs a nap.

Gigi: What I mean is, I think it's really all about the music, you know? They just express themselves so clearly and freely...I think they are all so talented. I have their latest CD, Celebrity, in my CD player right now. Oh, and you can get it at any record store.

Marina: Yeah, so go get it! Chrissy, who's your favorite *NSYNCer?

Chrissy: Well, I'd have to say-

Tina: Justin.

Chrissy: Chris.

Tina; No, Justin! He is so fine! I love his ass! And his hair? So cute. He has the best sense of style, has an amazing voice, he is *NSYNC!

Chrissy: That's it! I cannot deal with this anymore! I'm 10 years older than you! I can beat you to the ground! (makes a flying leap towards Tina. A squishy lump falls to the floor.) Woops...

Marina: Chrissy?! You wear...falsies?

Chrissy: Well, I am kinda flat...

Jaime: NO!! My kind, honest, Mississippi heart can't take it anymore! Marina, we're not The A's. We're really *N Sync.

Marina: Wha-

Jaime: You see, without all the hype of a new CD or single, we've kinda been losing some popularity. So we thought, what better way to promote ourselves than to disguise ourselves as another hugley successful pop group that loves *N Sync? So we made a couple calls, then we got this interview with tEEEny mag, which seemed like a perfect oppurtunity to do some heavy promoting without looking too desperate!

Gigi: I'm gonna kill him...

Marina: So, wait...the A's weren't a real group?

Gigi: No.

Marina:And y'all are nsync?

Joanna: Yes.

Marina: But you can't be...you're all girls.

Joanna: No, Marina, I'm Joey, Gigi is JC, Tina is Justin, Chrissy is Chris, and Jaime is Lance.

Marina: Wha---OH MY GOD!!! I USED LANCE BASS'S LIPGLOSS!!! EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!(faints)

Lance: I told you this wasn't a good idea. Now we're going to get hit with another lawsuit...

Jutin: No, you are going to get hit with another lawsuit. I love this tiara, and I'm not giving it up. I'm going solo. Totally.

Lance: Hey, that's my tiara! Give it back, you evil bastard! (makes flying leap towards Justin. The two fight to the bitter death over a tiara.)

Chris: Hey, now that they're dead, this means I'm the cute one! Hallelujah! Justice at last!

JC: No, you moron. You're still that short guy who looks like a bug who never sings.

Chris: You're right! I have nothing to live for! Good bye sweet world! (stuffs his furry bunny slipper down his throat, then chokes to death)

Joey: Chris? (shakes his friend's lifeless body)Buddy? NO!!! I didn't think I'd ever have to do this, but since I do, I'm going to do it the way I want to do it! (takes rat poison, pours it on the Doritos, and eats them all. Joey dies.)

JC: Quiet...very quiet...C'mon, Jayce man...this is what you've always wanted...Now you're the star. Everybody loves you...Who am I kidding? Guys, I'm coming!!! (jumps out of the building)


So, there ya have it. Aren't you glad you're not a teeny? Who knows, maybe you would have been responsible for the death of America's hottest male vocal group...

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