Wrong Again

Arianna sat on her window seat looking out over her yellow-green lawn. This would be the last time she ever got to sit in this seat. She looked over at the tree house that she would never again play Princess in, and regretted the fact that she was no longer a child. She turned her gaze to the bike that had grown rusty with lack of use over the years, and thought that she would give anything for just one more warm spring day to ride it. She moved her eyes to the fire trucks, ambulances, and cruisers that were parked in front of her house and prayed that God would take her away from this place once and for all.
A policeman brought her father out to one of the cruisers and put him into the backseat before quickly driving away. An EMT pulled a stretcher that had her mother on it out into her front yard where they loaded her onto an ambulance and drove away slowly; there was no need for them to rush.
A soft knock came on Arianna’s door. “Who is it?” she called.
The door slowly opened and a young woman entered. “Arianna?” she asked. Arianna merely stared at the woman, saying nothing. “My name is Laura. I’m here to take you to your new home. I know that this is very hard for you,”
Arianna laughed a cold laugh that held no humor. “You think this is hard for me? This is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me. I’ve been living in this house for sixteen years with that man. My mother married him when I was about a year old. I can’t remember a day when he wasn’t either so drunk he couldn’t stand, or beating my mother and I so badly that we couldn’t stand. Do you see these?” Arianna asked as she raised her shirt to reveal a body full of scars, some deeply implanted years ago, some not so old. “These are the memories I have. So don’t you even begin to tell me that you know how I feel. You have absolutely no idea.”
“Oh, honey, I’m so,”
“Sorry?” Arianna interrupted. “Yeah, it seems that everyone was always sorry. Sorry didn’t help me then and it certainly won’t help me now.” She then got up and walked out of the room, leaving Laura to just stare after her.
Laura could tell that this child was scared to death. That was the only reason she was able to put on such a mask of bravery and independence. The only people she had trusted had turned their backs on her, and so she wasn’t going to trust ever again. Laura thought that this may be one of the hardest cases she was ever handed, but she was confident that she would succeed.
Arianna had so much potential. She was a very pretty girl who seemed to have a good head on her shoulders. Unfortunately, she hadn’t been allowed to use it. Laura needed to nurture what was there and force it to blossom. Before she could even begin to do that, however, she needed to gain Arianna’s trust. That was what presented the biggest problem.

Arianna didn’t say a word for the entire ride to her new home. She was being brought to a family in a different state. The people who decided her fate thought that she would be better off as far away from her father and his publicity as possible. They had wanted to move her even farther, but they hadn’t had time for that. She was being brought to her “temporary home” until those arrangements had been made.
Three hours after leaving her home, she pulled into a long twisting drive that led to one of the most extravagant houses she had ever seen. She wasn’t able to hide her shock. “My God, why are you throwing me in with some rich people? What if I use the wrong fork or something?”
Laura laughed warmly. “I’m sure they won’t think badly of you if you use the wrong fork. But, for future reference, the rule is to start on the outside and work your way in.”
“What if they skip one part of the meal, and they still put the silverware out so I’m still using the wrong fork?”
“Arianna, you’ll be fine,” Laura assured her.
Just then, a butler and three other men in nice suits came out to stand by the car. One of them opened Arianna’s door, and she looked nervously over at Laura.
“You’ll be fine,” Laura repeated. “I’ll help you get settled, but I can’t stay for very long.”
The two women got out of the car, and the four men raced to take up Arianna’s luggage, which wasn’t much. It only took two of the men to get all of it. They were then led into the home.
Arianna stepped inside and stopped dead in her tracks. She was standing in a home that looked as if it had been constructed from a picture in a fairy tale book. The room she was in was bigger than the entire house that she had just come from. She turned to Laura. “I can’t stay here. I’m much too out of place.”
“Stop worrying,” Laura commanded gently.
Just then a woman, a man, and two identical young girls walked into the room. Arianna gasped and backed up a step.
“What’s wrong?” Laura asked softly.
“I don’t want to stay here. Look at that man. He’s twice my size. Please don’t make me stay here,” she pleaded.
Laura saw the fear in Arianna’s eyes and knew that it was genuine. She also knew that the only way she was going to help Arianna was to force her to overcome the conditioning effect that her father had had on her. She now associated all males with the inevitable pain that her father represented. The only way to reverse this would be to put her in an environment with men that would do her no harm. Eventually, this would show her that her fears were irrational and she wouldn’t fear all men anymore.
The family stopped a few yards short of the stairs that Arianna hadn’t stepped off of and introduced themselves. “I’m Maria,” the mother said.
“My name is Alex,” the father then volunteered.
“These two are Jessica and Jamie,” the mother said referring to the twins. “There are three more boys, but they aren’t here right now. Jonathan is the oldest, and he’s a Doctor in the east. Jordan is out east too, but he is just getting ready to take his entrance exams. Jay is out at God knows where, doing God knows what, but he should be home for dinner.”
Arianna looked at Laura and whispered, “They are insane.”
Laura gave her a harsh look and stepped forward to introduce her young charge. “This is Arianna.”
The family gave her warm smiles all around, but it didn’t help make her any more comfortable. Wanting to end the silence that only seemed to make her feel less at ease, she asked the first question that came to her mind. “You aren’t going to throw me into some medieval torture chamber if I use the wrong fork, are you?”
Laura discreetly nudged Arianna to show her displeasure, but Arianna ignored her completely.
Maria was the one to answer. “Heavens no,” she laughed easily. “There are no medieval torture chambers in this house; however, with that son of mine, I sometimes wish there were.”
“Lucky him,” Arianna mumbled under her breath.
Just then the door slammed open and a boy just a little older than Arianna made his presence known. “I’m home,” he yelled. Just then he stopped and stared. “What’s going on?” he asked his parents.
“Remember we told you that we were having a young girl come to live with us? Well, this is her,” his father told him.
“This isn’t a young girl. She’s old enough to live on her own, what does she need to come here for?”
“First of all, she’s not old enough to live on her own yet, and second of all, she’s here for the support. We are all going to support her, is that clear Jason?”
Jay glared at Arianna before turning to his father to answer the question that had really been a statement. “Yes, loud and clear.” Jay continued his way down the stairs, but Arianna just barely moved her foot and put it in his path. He toppled, head first, down the rest of the stairs.
Arianna bit back her laughter as she apologized. “I’m so sorry, Jason.”
Jay looked up at his parents who were in just as much shock as he was. He glared at her threateningly.
Oddly, Arianna felt no fear of him at all. He was the only one threatening to harm her, yet he was the only one who didn’t instill that fear in her. This confused her more than anything, so she decided not to dwell on it.

One she had been settled, she decided to stay in her room for the remainder of the night. After the stunt she had pulled, and everyone knew she had done it on purpose, she decided she’d give them all a full night’s sleep to get over the shock.
A soft knock them came on her door. She pulled her silk bathrobe over her sheer nightgown and opened the door. When she saw that it was Jay she nearly slammed the door in his face. Sensing that she would do this, he stuck his foot in the door to prevent it from closing. “What do you want?” she demanded.
“To talk,” he answered in a voice very different to the one she had heard earlier that day. This one was softer and more understanding. She reluctantly opened the door and he promptly made himself comfortable on her bed.
Arianna purposely left the door open and sat down opposite him on a rocking chair. They sat together in silence for a few moments.
“My parents told me what kind of home you came from,” he began. “I know that you’re probably sick and tired of hearing sympathy from people so I’m not going to offer a useless apology for something that I had absolutely no control over. I am, however, going to apologize for being so rude to you today when I first got home. I admit, I did deserve being tripped on the stairs, but please try to wait and trip me in a hallway next time.”
“Next time?” Arianna laughed questioningly. “You plan on meriting that type of thing from me again?”
“I hate talking across the room to you, sit down over here,” he offered. Without even thinking about it, Arianna got up and sat next to him on the bed. “That’s better,” he announced. “Did you know that my room is right next door?”
“No, I didn’t. Why should that concern me?” She asked, genuinely not caring if his room was next to hers or on the other side of the house.
He shrugged. “I guess that any girl would consider herself lucky to have a room so close to a handsome wonderful guy like me.”
“You’re conceited,” she told him.
“I’m teasing you,” he answered back.
She stared into his jade eyes and whispered, “I don’t find you funny.”
He gently pushed some of her Irish Red hair off of her face, and she felt herself begin to panic. She didn’t know why, but her breathing had become shallower, and she couldn’t catch her breath. This wasn’t a passionate loss of breath; this was a panic attack. Jay took it as encouragement and leaned in to kiss her. The minute his lips touched hers she jumped off of the bed and pressed herself into a corner.
“Get out,” she ordered him.
“Arianna,” he pleaded.
“Just get out,” she said more forcefully.
“I’m sorry, I know I overstepped my boundaries, I won’t do it again,” he promised.
“Just please get out,” she said in a near whisper. This time he did as he was asked. The second he was out of the room, Arianna broke down. The terrible feelings assail her once again. It was like reliving a nightmare in her mind. She curled up into the fetal position on her bed and hugged a pillow close to her as she let her mind free to deal as it may with the fear. She knew that if she held it inside it would haunt her until she let it go, as it always did. She wanted to be rid of the feelings as quickly as possible and this was the only way. She fell asleep still clutching her pillow.
Jay stood outside the door feeling very helpless. He hadn’t known that a mere kiss would have set her off like that. He had never meant to hurt her. He wanted nothing more than to go in there and apologize and hold her until her crying had stopped, but he felt that that would be the last thing she wanted. Instead he went into his room and lay down on his bed. He listened to her sobbing until her breath finally evened out into sleep. It seemed that only then would his body allow him to join her in the land of dreams.

Neither of their bodies, however, would let them dwell in that land for long. Jay was woken up by what sounded like another crying spell coming from the room next to his. He got up and pulled on a pair of boxer shorts before leaving his room. He gently knocked on her door. “Arianna? Are you awake?” He paused for several moments and got no response. He turned to go back into his room, but before he got a chance he heard her scream “No!” very loudly and forcefully. He burst into the room expecting to find someone there with her, but instead he found her tossing and turning in her sleep.
“No, Daddy, please no,” she was begging.
Jay wondered what was going on in her head. He wanted to wake her up, but he didn’t want to frighten her. He settled for staying by her side until the nightmare subsided.
“Don’t do that,” she yelled. “I’ll do anything, just please don’t do this to me. Please, please don’t do this to me.” Tears had started coursing down her cheeks and Jay felt a terrible rage building inside of him. “Daddy, it hurts, please don’t, you’re hurting me,” she was yelling once again.
Jay could no longer stand it. He pulled her into his arms and tried to gently wake her up. Her response was to associate him with her father. “Let me go,” she ordered and she began blindly swinging at him. He held her tighter and rocked her back and forth.
“Arianna,” he gently called. “Wake up. You’re having a nightmare, wake up.”
“It hurts,” she whimpered. “It hurts so bad.”
“I know,” he said, stroking her hair. “It’s ok. You’re all right.”
Her breathing became even very soon after that, and Jay laid her back down. He put her under her covers and tucked her in. He gently kissed her forehead before returning to his room and climbing back into bed. It had been just under an hour since he had gone into her room. He wondered if she had woken up at all while he was there, or even if she had any idea that he had comforted her. He decided not to bring it up with her. If she wanted to talk about it, he was sure that she would seek him out. He wasn’t going to push things with her.

Jay wondered if she would ever get up the next morning.
“Maybe I should go wake her up,” his mother suggested.
“Leave her alone, she’ll get up when she’s ready,” Jay told her.
“Watch how you talk to your mother,” his father chastised him.
“Sorry,” he offered with no sign of remorse. “She didn’t sleep well last night, and she needs to catch up on as much as she can.”
“Why didn’t she sleep well? Wasn’t the bed comfortable enough for her? I knew I should have gotten that mattress replaced,” his mother stated.
“The bed is fine,” Jay assured her. “She just had a nightmare, that’s all. And please don’t ask her about it. She probably doesn’t even remember, and I don’t want her getting upset again if she doesn’t have to.”
His father smiled. “I do believe our son is actually showing concern for someone other than himself. Shall I call the Pope and let him know that a miracle has just occurred?”
“She’s been through a lot and I feel bad for her,” Jay rationalized. “I think she’s been through a whole lot more than we know. If it was me, I’d sure hate to be reminded at every turn, so let’s just pretend she didn’t have that nightmare, ok?”
His parents saw the logical side of his argument and they agreed. After another half-hour he went upstairs and lightly knocked on her door. “Go away,” she ordered.
“Arianna, if you don’t let me in, I’m going to break down this door.” He thought that if he stayed himself as much as possible, it would keep her more at ease, he also wanted her to know that she wasn’t going to get away with avoiding people forever.
She sighed heavily and got up to open the door. She knew that he would carry out his threat. “What do you want?” she asked.
He took one look at her and couldn’t believe that this was the same girl he had held the night before. She looked terrible. If it hadn’t been for her red hair, he would have sworn this was someone else. “What happened to you?” he demanded.
“I don’t want to talk about it, and especially not to you,” she said. “So if that’s all you wanted,” she tried to shut the door, but he was again too fast for her, and he stuck his foot in the door. “You’re impossible,” she groaned and stepped away from the door.
“Thank you,” he said and sat down next to her on the bed. She immediately got up and moved to a chair on the other side of the room. “Dammit, I’m not going to attack you,” he said angrily.
“I know,” she said meekly as she stared at her hands, which were clasped, on her lap.
“I don’t like you like this,” he said. “I liked you the way you were when I first met you. Where’s the girl who tripped me down the stairs?”
Arianna sniffed and shook her head.
“Come here,” he gently commanded. She got up and walked over to him. He thought about pulling her onto his lap, but didn’t want to scare her off again. Instead, he pulled her down next to him. “If you ever want to talk about anything, I’m here for you. You know that, right?” She nodded. “If you ever need to just get away from here for a little while, I’m here for you too, ok?” She nodded again. He pulled open one of the desk drawers and pulled out a piece of paper and a pen. He wrote something on it and handed it to her. “If you ever need me and I’m not home, just call this number.” He handed her the piece of paper. “Promise me you’ll call, even if you just want to say ‘hi’.”
“Why are you being so nice to me?” She asked. “I trip you down a flight of stairs, and you turn around and treat me like a princess. Why are you doing this? If it’s pity, I don’t need it. I’ve had more than enough and I don’t want anymore.”
“This isn’t pity,” he assured her. “Believe it or not, I actually like you. You’re the first girl I’ve met who’s treated me like I’m a human, not some way to ‘get rich quick’.”
“How come I’m not afraid of you?” she asked.
“What?” he responded; more than a little confused.
“For as long as I can remember, every boy I’ve ever met who was bigger than me has scared me out of my mind. I always had to have female teachers in school, and at one point I had been tutored at home. I dropped out of school when I was sixteen because I couldn’t handle the boys being around me all of the time,”
“You dropped out of school?” He interrupted. “How could you drop out of school?”
“What are you scared of more than anything?” she asked him.
He thought for a few moments. “Heights,” he answered. “I hate being up very high.”
Well, imagine that all of your classes were held on cliffs that overlooked the Grand Canyon, and your seat was right on the edge. Wouldn’t you drop out?”
“I suppose I would,” he conceded. “But you have to go back. I’m sure my mother will arrange for you to have a tutor here, but there is no way you aren’t going to finish school.”
“I’m not in the mood to talk about my schooling, or lack thereof,” she told him.
“Ok then,” he said, letting the subject go for now. “Get back to your story about why you’re not afraid of me.”
“I don’t know why I’m not afraid of you,” she told him exasperatedly. “I’ve been scared of men my entire life and you go and ruin that completely.”
“I’m so sorry,” he said mock apologetically.
“I didn’t mean for it to sound like that,” she told him.
“I know,” he assured her.
“It just confuses me so much. There’s no reason for me not to be afraid of you. You actually threatened me, and yet you’re the only one I’m not scared of.”
“I’m beginning to wonder if my male pride should be wounded,” he teased her.
“Please be serious.”
He looked at her red and swollen eyes and decided that this wasn’t the best time for joking. “Do you want to go out somewhere?”
“I’m sure you have plans for today,” she said automatically. “I’m not going to ruin them.”
“Don’t you worry about any of the plans I had today. None of them were even close to being as important as you being happy right now. I don’t want to hear any of this self-pity in the form of selflessness coming from you, do you hear me?” She ignored the question. He moved to lift her chin up to make her look at him, but she jumped from the bed to get away from him before he could touch her.
As soon as Arianna leapt from the bed she realized what she had done. She looked at Jay who was obviously hurt. “I’m sorry,” she said quietly.
“Arianna, I’d never ever hurt you,” he said in a very serious tone.
“I know,” she said, and promptly burst into tears.
Jay, not knowing what to do, just got up and stood next to her. He didn’t know if he should hold onto her, or just let her know he was there. As soon as he got close enough, she clung to him.
“I’m never going to be normal,” she sobbed. “I’ll never get married and have kids and do all of the things I always dreamed about because of him. I hate him so much. He ruined my life. I hate him,” she repeated over and over into Jay’s shoulder.
Jay silently stroked her hair until her sobbing had turned into the occasional sniffle. “I’m getting you out of here,” he said. He gently pushed her away, and wiped her eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. “You get yourself cleaned up and I’ll make our excuses downstairs, ok?” She nodded as she wiped her eyes again. “You’re going to be ok,” he assured her as he left the room.

“Are you feeling settled?” Laura asked Arianna to begin their conversation.
“I suppose I’m as settled as I’m going to be,” Arianna answered. “I had another nightmare last night.”
“Another one? You’ve had them before?” Laura asked.
Arianna nodded. “Ever since I was little I’ve had a terrible nightmare.”
“What was it about?” Laura asked her.
Arianna thought for a few moments. “I don’t know,” she eventually answered. “I know that it’s horrible, and that I wake up feeling,” she paused as she thought of the right word. “Feeling unloved, and untouchable. Last night’s nightmare was different though. I didn’t feel unloved at all.”
“But you still felt ‘untouchable’?”
Arianna nodded. “I always feel that way. I don’t want people to ever touch me, or show any type of affection. I feel as though I don’t deserve it, like I’m not worthy.”
“Arianna, before I start leading you anywhere, we need to decide what our ultimate goal is. What do you want to be different in your life?”
“I want to be able to be normal,” Arianna answered without thought.
“What do you mean by ‘normal’? What’s so abnormal now?” Arianna got up and walked toward the door. “Where are you going?” Laura asked her.
“I’ll show you what I mean,” Arianna answered. “I’ll be right back.” A few minutes later Arianna came back in with Jay’s sketch. “I want to be the girl in this picture,” Arianna told Laura. “She’s happy and content with her life. She has people who love her, and she’s not afraid of receiving affection, especially from men. She has a lot going for her, and she has plans for her future. She’s perfect,” Arianna said wistfully.
“Let’s take this one step at a time,” Laura suggested. “You say that she is happy and content with her life. Are you talking about her current life, or the life she’s lived in the past?”
“I suppose it would have to be her current life,” Arianna answered. “I think that everyone is unhappy with some aspect of their life at one point or another. No one can be happy all of the time.”
“So she does have some shade in her past?” Arianna nodded slowly. “Well how about people loving her?”
“She has a family that supports her unconditionally,” Arianna stated.
“Does she have friends who love her too?”
“Of course she does. She has dozens of friends. She’s very popular and there isn’t a night that goes by without someone calling her to see if she’s busy. But I think that she only has one or two true friends that she can truly tell everything that’s on her mind. They have always supported her, and they’ll stay with her forever so that they can catch her if she ever stumbles.”
“Is one of these true friends a male?” Laura asked cautiously.
“You mean a boyfriend?” Arianna asked.
“He doesn’t have to be,” Laura told her. “But he can be.”
Arianna thought for a moment. “Yes, one of them is a male. I’m not sure if they are boyfriend and girlfriend though.” She shrugged. “Fate has a way of always making things right; if they are meant to be, they will be.”
“Is the male friend able to give her friendly kisses and hugs?”
“Yes,” Arianna said. “He is. She doesn’t freak out every time he sits next to her, or pushes her hair out of her face, or even just gently touches her. She’s able to just lay back in his arms for hours so that they can just talk. She likes the security his hold offers her. When he’s with her I feel that nothing can hurt me.”
Laura noticed that Arianna had switched to first person, and her belief that this male friend wasn’t 100% fiction was confirmed. Arianna hadn’t noticed her slip, and Laura wasn’t going to point it out. “What are the plans for the future that this girl has?”
Arianna thought for a moment. “She wants to be a wife and mother.”
“She doesn’t have a career plan?”
Arianna shook her head. “She wants to be a full-time wife to her husband and mother to her children.”
“Tell me about this husband,” Laura prompted.
“He loves his wife very very much, and he would never hurt her. He loves his children too, and he would never hit them, or insult them, or hurt them in any other way. He would support his family in whatever they did, and his relationship with people was never one of power or control. It was always on a friendship basis.”
“It sounds like you just want to be able to get a new comfort zone with people, and particularly males. Am I right?” Laura asked. Arianna nodded. “I want you to go out more often to places that are rather crowded. Malls and restaurants, things like that. The first time you go out, you only stay until you start to feel tense. Then every time after that, increase the time you stay by five-minute increments, longer if you’re comfortable. I’ve talked to Maria and her husband, and we all agree that home tutoring will be best for you for the time being. You’ll start your schooling again on Monday. Eventually, you’ll be moved into a public school. Is that plan OK with you?” Arianna nodded again. “The most important thing in this therapy is for you to be completely comfortable at all times. If you ever feel that something needs to be changed, no matter how minor, you talk to someone and we’ll do our best to fix it.” Laura stood up. “I’ll see you next week then, OK?”
“OK,” Arianna answered and shut the door behind Laura.
Not ten seconds after Laura left, there was a knock at her door. “Who is it?”
“It’s me,” Jay answered. Arianna got up to open the door. “I need the sketch for a while,” he told her. “I want to start working on the painting.”
“Can I watch?” She asked him hopefully.
“I don’t want you to see it until it’s finished,” he told her. “I want to see your face when you see it for the first time, and I want you to get the full effect all at once.”
“What if I promise not to look at it?”
“Then what’s the point of watching?” he asked with a laugh.
She shrugged. “If you don’t want me in the room, that’s fine,” she said as she handed him the picture and shut her door.
He sighed heavily and thought to himself that he would never be able to win with her. “Arianna,” he called. There was no answer. He knocked lightly. “You can come watch me if you want,” he offered.
She opened her door and stuck her head out only long enough to tell him, “You don’t want me there, so I don’t want to be there,” and slammed the door shut again.
“Can I ask you something?” He called through the door. “Why are women so hard to figure out? First you want to watch me because I say you can’t, then I say you can and you don’t want to watch anymore. I really don’t understand you,” he said.
The minute she opened the door again he stuck his foot in the way of her closing it. “One of these days I’m going to put a nail there,” she threatened.
“Come watch me,” he told her.
“No,” she said stubbornly as she crossed her arms.
“Please come watch me,” he asked with a puppy look in his eyes and a very practiced pout.
Arianna couldn’t help but laugh. “Your pout is better than mine,” she accused. “That’s not right.”
“You can practice in my studio,” he told her as he pushed open the door.
Arianna stepped out of her room and followed Jay down what seemed like hundreds of hallways that just didn’t stop twisting. “If you ever left me alone here, I’d get lost,” she told him.
“I’d never let you get lost,” he assured her as he unlocked one of the doors.
“Painting again?” Jay’s father asked as he seemingly appeared out of nowhere.
Arianna backed up as far as she could, and then tried to back up even farther when she heard the strong male voice.
Jay looked down at her questioningly, as he answered his father. “Yeah, I’ve got a new sketch that I want to paint.”
“Just be sure you’re down in time for dinner,” he warned.
“I always am,” Jay sighed. As soon as his father left, Arianna backed away. “What’s wrong?” he asked her. “I swear you were trying to actually crawl inside of me.”
“I’m sorry,” she stammered. “I didn’t realize that it was you I was backing up against.”
“What were you afraid of?” he asked.
“Your father,” she admitted as her eyes began to well up with tears. “I don’t want to be afraid of him,” she sniffed.
”I know,” Jay assured her.
“How am I ever going to be normal if I can’t even hear a male voice without reacting like that?” She was now crying again.
Jay pulled her into his embrace, not even thinking about what the consequences might be. “You’ve been through a lot,” he soothed her. “More than any of us know. You’re going to get through this.” Silent tears were streaming down her cheeks and making two distinct wet marks on Jay’s shirt. “If there is anything that I can ever do to help you, you just have to let me know.”
“I know,” she whispered into his shoulder.
“Come inside, and I’ll settle you down on the couch, OK?” he asked after a few moments of just holding her. She nodded against his shoulder and let him lead her into the room.
Once she was settled, he turned the easel so that she couldn’t see it, and got his supplies together.
“Those colors are too bright,” she commented.
He looked up at her. “Do you want to stay in here?” he asked. She nodded in response. “Then hush.” When his supplies were ready, he took off his shirt and Arianna jumped from the couch and started toward the door. “I always paint like this,” he told her evenly. She stopped in her tracks, but didn’t turn towards him. “I hate smocks because they are much too feminine and they only get in the way. This way I can easily clean up in a relatively short amount of time,” he explained to her back.
Arianna turned back toward him and slowly walked back to the couch, where she sat with her legs pulled up to her chest. Jay didn’t even glance her way again before he started with his painting.
Almost immediately Arianna sensed a change in him. His brow was constantly furrowed as if he were puzzling over some riddle that always seemed to escape him. She could see his muscles tensing as he mixed and re-mixed the colors on his pallet until he found just the ride shade, and how they slowly relaxed again once he had returned to applying the paint to the canvas.
His arms had a hidden power in them. They were built, but only enough to hint at their true strength. Arianna noticed that she had wrapped her arms around herself, and quickly shifted her position. She looked up to find Jay staring at her.
“You OK?” he asked.
She nodded, and he went back to his painting. Arianna laid back and stared at him, letting his arm movements mesmerize her. Eventually, her world went dark.
“Dinner in five minutes,” Jay’s father called through the door.
“OK,” Jay answered without moving his eyes. He finished the small portion he was working on, and moved the easel to the corner of the room. He then wiped his hands and looked over at Arianna, who had fallen asleep about an hour ago.
He gently shook her shoulder. “Arianna,” he called softly. She stirred slightly, but promptly fell back into a deep sleep. He sat down next to her and stroked her cheek gently. “Arianna, wake up,” he whispered.
This got her up in record speed. She was backed against a wall and staring at him wide-eyed before Jay had even realized she had woken up. “Don’t ever do that to me again,” she screamed at him.
“What did I do?” Jay asked her in a shocked tone.
“I don’t know,” Arianna told him. “But whatever you just did, don’t ever do it again. You don’t know what you did.”
“What did I do to you,” he asked her as she slowly made her way back to the couch. She sat down and he wrapped a nearby blanket over her shaking shoulders.
“I was scared to death,” she told him. “I actually felt my blood running cold. What did you do?” She asked, now looking at him.
“I was only trying to wake you up,” he defended. “I was gently stroking your cheek and I called your name. That’s all I did, I swear it.”
“What’s wrong with me?” She asked him.
“There is nothing wrong with you,” he told her in a final tone. “I don’t ever want to hear that from you again. Let’s go down to eat,” he urged her.
“I’m not hungry,” she said truthfully. “And don’t tell me that you’re not the Pope because I know you’re not the Pope. That doesn’t change the fact that I’m not hungry.”
“Fine,” he said, deciding not to fight with her. “I’ll bring you up something later. You can stay in here if you want, but don’t look at the picture.”
“I promise,” she told him as he left the room.

Jay went down the stairs to the dining room and took his customary seat between his twin sisters. He picked up his fork and began eating, not noticing the silent looks he was receiving from the entire family. After a moment he looked up to find everyone staring at him, and that he was the only one who had begun eating. He paused, fork midway between his plate and his mouth, and raised one perfect eyebrow in question.
“Well,” his mother prompted.
“Well what?” Jay asked.
“Where is she?” his father answered.
Jay shrugged. “She wasn’t hungry.” He continued eating.
“She was sent here so that we could try to give her some sort of family life,” his mother said somewhat angrily. “The only one here who has any sort of contact with her is you. A family does not consist of a male and a female. A family is a mother and a father and children. You cannot be her parents and brother all wrapped into one. She needs family life.”
“She needs her space,” Jay corrected. “She freaks at random times, and even she doesn’t know why. The last thing she needs is to be thrown into an overprotective family that will hover around her every moment of her life.”
“Don’t speak to your mother that way,” Jay’s father warned.
“She has to hear this from someone. Not once have any of you even taken the time to talk to her. She doesn’t need family like that. The truth is, you just want to feel that you’ve made some contribution to society,” Jay accused. “She’s just a charity case to you.”
“Jason,” his father scolded, “you stop this right now.”
“No,” he told them blatantly. “I won’t stop. She isn’t some charity case. She’s a person who needs to be treated that way. Before you go making all of these big decisions for her, why don’t you ask her how she feels? She’s not some deaf and dumb invalid, or even some child who doesn’t know what she wants. She’s a seventeen-year-old girl who needs to feel that she is loved.” Jay got up from the table and headed toward the stairs.
“Where do you think you’re going?” His father called out.
“I’m leaving,” Jay answered, and continued up the stairs.
As soon as Jay left, Arianna began looking at all of the pictures on the walls. They were amazing paintings of people ranging from his mother, to the top actors and actresses of the day. Arianna couldn’t believe how talented he was. Some of the paintings could have passed for actual photographs. She studied the pictures intently. She could see each individual brushstroke plainly, and she could even sense what mood he was in when he had painted them.
His “Angry Paintings” had very short concise brushstrokes, and were often very detailed.
His “Content Paintings,” on the other hand, were often very lazily done. Oftentimes, the colors even blended together, making for an almost fuzzy interpretation for what was being represented. Arianna loved all of them.
She stopped dead in her tracks when she came to the next set of pictures. They were outdoor scenes of the brook he had taken her to. She stared at the pictures in silent awe of the likeness he had accomplished. She closed her eyes and could almost here the water rushing just a short distance away from her.
Her silent contemplation died a quick death when the door to the room slammed open.
“Jay,” she asked in shock. “What’s wrong?”
“I’m going out,” he answered. “Feel free to come.” He grabbed his jacket and left.
Arianna followed him. She had to take two steps for everyone one of his and by the time they got to the car, she was out of breath. “What’s wrong?” She asked again.
In answer, he slammed the key into the ignition, turned the car on, and screeched out of the driveway. He drove in silent fury, giving no sign that he even knew Arianna was there.
Arianna cautiously laid her head down on his shoulder, and let him drive.
“They are so fake,” he said after fifteen miles of silence. Arianna picked up her head and looked at him. He was still staring intently at the road ahead of him. “They act like they are the most wonderful people, but they’re not. They only do things for the attention it brings them. They don’t care about people.” Jay stole a quick glance at Arianna before continuing. “What do you think they think of my paintings?” He asked her.
“I think they’re wonderful,” she answered.
“They’ve never even seen them,” he said coldly. “They think that painting is a waste of my time. And do you know what scares me the most?” he asked her.
“What?” she asked quietly.
“My sisters are growing up to be exactly like they are.”
Arianna laid her head back down on his shoulder, and Jay took comfort in the fact that she would always be there for him. He knew that without a doubt.

Arianna had another nightmare that night. She woke up in a cold sweat and she was out of breath. For a moment, she wasn’t sure where she was. She inhaled deeply and pulled herself together before getting up and descending the stairs toward the kitchen.
Once she had arrived at her destination she sat on the table contemplatively wondering what she wanted.
“What are you doing up so late?” A strong male voice came from behind her.
Arianna froze where she was.
“You can’t sleep either?” he continued, not even noticing how tense she had become. He pulled out a container of strawberries. “Want some?”
She shook her head mutely.
“How bad was it? Living in the other house, I mean,” he clarified.
“I…I don’t want to talk about it,” she stammered in a barely audible voice.
“Talking may help,” he coaxed.
“She said she didn’t want to talk about it,” Jay growled from the doorway.
Arianna’s head snapped to his, and she pleaded with her eyes to get him to come over to her. He got the message.
“Come on back to sleep,” he asked her softly as he lifted her from the table.
“I thought she could decide things for herself,” his father said sarcastically.
“In case you haven’t noticed, the sight of you scares her to the point that she doesn’t want to move,” Jay shot back as he walked with Arianna back up the stairs. “You OK?” he asked once they were out of his father’s earshot.
She nodded against his shoulder.
“Another nightmare?”
She nodded again.
He hugged her tightly. “You’re going to be OK,” he assured her.
“You don’t know that,” she whispered into his shirt. “What if I never get rid of these nightmares? What if I live the rest of my life scared to death of every male that comes within two feet of me?”
He lifted her chin with his fingers and dried her silent tears away with his sleeve. “You’re not afraid of me,” he rationalized. He gazed deeply into her eyes and saw a wistful longing in them. He wondered what exactly she was longing for.
“Jay?” She called his name in a questioning voice that even she couldn’t believe had come from her.
“What?” he whispered back.
“Kiss me?” She pleaded with a voice that hinted she was on the verge of tears.
“I don’t want to scare you away,” he told her.
“You won’t,” she promised.
Jay looked down at her for several moments. He leaned down and kissed her forehead, in-between her eyes, her nose, and finally, he captured her mouth with his.
Arianna tensed at first, and Jay paused. “I’ll stop,” he told her.
She shook her head. “Don’t.” Arianna couldn’t describe what she was feeling. She felt as though her entire life was perfect, that there was nothing before now and nothing after now. She could feel little sparks of electricity shooting through her veins. His touch sent her over the edge.
She ran her fingers through his hair and tried to pull his head closer to hers, even though they both knew that was impossible. Jay reached behind her and opened the door to her room. They staggered in, never letting go of one another, and Jay shut the door behind them, making sure to lock it.
Jay pulled his head away to look her in the eyes. “Arianna, once I start, I won’t be able to stop,” he warned.
“I don’t care,” she replied.
Jay pulled her to him once again. This time his hands began to wander. First over her arms, then her back. He couldn’t get enough of her. He knelt down and kissed her stomach through her shirt, before rubbing the backs of her knees with his palms.
Arianna had to shake a nagging memory from her mind.
Jay’s hands began trailing up her thighs.
She looked down at him and saw her father’s face, grinning a sick grin that made her sick. “Get away from me,” she yelled as she pushed him away violently.
Jay landed on his back on the floor. “What happened?” he asked her.
She looked at him teary-eyed. “I’ll never be normal,” she proclaimed before she broke down.
Jay sat on her bed and pulled her onto his lap. “It’s OK,” he soothed. “It’s perfectly normal to be freaked your first time.”
“I saw him,” she sobbed. “I looked down at you and saw him.”
He stroked her hair and rocked her. “I’m going to help you through this,” he vowed. “We’ll get through it together. I promise.”

Jay didn’t leave her room. She fell asleep in his arms and he wanted her to wake up in the exact same place. After she had fallen asleep he had tucked her head under his chin and encircled her with his arms. He fell asleep with his chin resting on the top of her head.
Arianna woke up slowly. She didn’t want to be pulled from the first good dream she had had in a long time. She snuggled deeper into the warmth that offered her comfort and understanding as well as protection.
“Sleep well?” Jay asked groggily.
Arianna sighed her contentment in response and attempted to fall back asleep.
“Nice try,” he laughed. “You have to get up.”
“Why?” she whined, still not quite awake.
“Because I ordered it so,” he answered jokingly. She punched him in the gut and his laughter ceased. “Your tutor is coming today, remember?”
“Today isn’t Monday,” she argued.
“Check your calendar again.” Jay then got up and forced her to sit up with him. “Wake up, Angel.”
“Angel?” She asked, surprised. “I’m no angel.”
“Why on earth not?”
“Angels are so…clean and pure.”
“And you’re not?” he laughed. When she didn’t laugh at his joke, he realized that it wasn’t made in the best taste. “Come here,” he ordered as he pulled her closer to him. “If anyone was ever a perfect candidate for angelic-ness, it would be you. To endure what you endured and come out so strong, you’re either an angel or a saint,” he smiled at her. “And with that halo of red curls,” he added. “You are the prettiest angel I’ve ever seen.”
“I’m not an angel,” she insisted.
“You think that,” he told her as he kissed her softly. “But I know the truth. Now, get ready before my mother comes and tears my head off for delaying you from getting dressed.”
“Yes, Sir,” she said as she saluted mockingly.
He saluted her and clicked his heels before turning and marching from the room.
Arianna’s tutor was an older woman with gray hair that was pulled into a severe bun at the nape of her neck. She reminded Arianna of what an old schoolmarm would look like.
“I’m Ms. Smythe,” the tutor proclaimed through a thick British accent. “I will be teaching you until you get over this insane phobia of yours and are able to go to school like normal children.”
Arianna’s mouth hung open. What kind of tutor was this? Weren’t they supposed to be sympathetic toward their pupils?
“Stop standing there slack jawed and slouching,” Ms. Smythe demanded. “Sit down here and--”
Ms. Smythe was interrupted by a police officer storming into the room unannounced. Jay wasn’t far behind. Arianna snapped to attention and was immediately swamped with a foreboding feeling; the accuracy of which, the look on Jay’s face confirmed.
“What’s going on?” she asked in a small voice.
“It’s about the trial,” the officer began.
“What trial?” she asked in a near panic.
“Your father’s trial,” was the reply. “All of the evidence against him was thrown out on a technicality.”
“What does that mean?” She asked, not really wanting to know the answer.
“It means he gets off, Arianna,” Jay told her. “He’ll probably even get full custody of you again.”
Arianna was frozen where she stood. “No,” she whispered. She began to shake her head. “No,” she said more forcefully as she shook her head with greater enthusiasm. “No!” she screamed before breaking down into hysterics.
Jay rushed over to her and pulled her into his arms. “There may be a way to get him behind bars and keep him there,” he whispered to her and he smoothed her hair back.
“I don’t care what it takes,” she sobbed. “Just do it.”
“It’s not something I can do,” he told her. “Only one person has the power to do what needs to be done.”
“Who?” she asked him.
“You,” came his quiet reply.
“What do you mean?”
“With all of the physical evidence being thrown out, the only thing that will win this case is witness testimony. No judge will allow hearsay, so you are the only one who can win this case.”
“You mean I have to be there? With him?”
He pulled her closer. “I won’t leave you alone for a second,” he vowed. “But if you don’t do this, you may be back with him again until you turn eighteen. I don’t want you subjected to that.”
“I’ll do it,” she whispered.
“I promise, I won’t leave you alone in that courtroom for a second,” he reassured her.
Arianna felt numb inside. She had to see her father again? How could this be? She clung to Jay and let the tears fall, even though they held no comfort for her this time.

Arianna stared out of the car window as silent tears coursed down her cheeks. She didn’t noticed that Jay had taken her hand in his, nor did she notice that he had started rubbing his thumb comfortingly over the back of her hand. She did notice, however, when he brought her hand to his lips and kissed it softly. “You’re going to be all right,” he vowed. “Don’t cry.” He gently brushed her tears away with his finger.
“I’m so scared,” she whimpered.
“I know, and I’m sorry that you have to go through this at all. It’s not fair to you.”
“What kind of justice system throws out evidence that important because of some technicality,” she asked with pure disbelief in her voice.
“I can’t answer that, Angel,” he replied. When she didn’t chastise him for calling her “angel” he looked over and found her once again engrossed with the passing countryside. He felt himself filled with an overpowering sense of protectiveness toward her and something else, something he had never felt before. He didn’t have time to dwell on it, however, because they had reached the courthouse. He pulled into a vacant space, turned off the car, and looked at her. “We’re here,” he told her quietly.
“We’re here,” she repeated with a hint of promised impending doom in her voice.
When she didn’t make a move to get out of the car, Jay got out and went around to her side to open the door. He held out his hand and she took it. Her hand was like an ice cube in his palm. He hadn’t realized just how afraid she was until that moment. “You’re going to be perfectly safe,” he promised her. “I’m going to be right there, and there are police everywhere. He won’t be able to get anywhere near you, I promise.”
She looked up at him and half smiled. “I know,” she replied. “You haven’t lied to me yet, I don’t expect you to start now.” He leaned down and kissed her gently before leading her into the courthouse.
“Your honor, the court would now like to call Miss Arianna Johanson to the stand.”
The voice sounded like an executioner calling Arianna to her death. She looked nervously at Jay and he squeezed her hand reassuringly as he nudged her forward. She slowly made her way to the front of the courtroom and was sworn in. She took a seat and the district attorney began to pace in front of her.
“How would you describe your childhood?” The man asked her in a calm measured tone.
“I,” Arianna began, but couldn’t find the strength to continue. Her eyes met Jay’s and he looked at her expectantly. That was all she needed to find the will to go on. She shook her head to clear it and began again. “I hated my childhood,” she stated. “All I can remember is the constant fear.”
“Can you be more precise?” The man prompted.
“My step father scared me,”
“Objection,” the defense attorney yelled. “Many children are afraid of their fathers, the fathers are much bigger than they are, it’s a natural reaction. This proves nothing.”
“I am trying to establish that this was an unusual fear, caused by an unusual circumstance,” was the comeback.
The argument raged on and Arianna took the opportunity to look around the room. When her eyes settled on her father, she felt the fear return in all it’s horror. She was frozen where she sat, unable to move, unable to speak. He looked straight at her and licked his lips in a provocative way. Arianna tore her eyes away from his and tried to catch the breath she hadn’t realized she’d been holding.
“This court will recess for thirty minutes,” the Judge proclaimed. “I want you two in my chambers, now,” she demanded of the two attorneys.
Arianna sat frozen where she was, until Jay come up next to her. “What’s wrong?” he demanded. When she didn’t answer, he shook her. “Arianna, answer me.”
“Jay?” she whispered.
“What the hell is the matter with you?” He asked with fear in his voice.
“It’s so much worse than I thought,” she told him through a new onslaught of tears.
“I’m sorry,” he soothed her as he brought her closer.
“You don’t understand,” she told him. “I just remembered. He looked at me and the nightmares all make sense now. I remember what they are, I know what he did.”
“You’re not making any sense,” he told her. “Slow down. What do you remember? What did he do?”
Arianna looked him in the eyes and brushed her tears away. “He raped me,” came her cold voice. Jay’s eyes hardened with hatred as he turned to the man in question. Arianna grabbed his shirtsleeve. “Jay, please don’t leave me.”
“I’m going to kill him,” Jay vowed.
“Just please hold me,” she begged through her tears.
Jay looked down at her and did the only thing he could. He gathered her into his arms and held her.
Three officials came back into the courtroom and the judge demanded to know where his witness was. “She fell asleep,” was Jay’s reply. “Your honor, If it would please the court, I’d like to talk to the district attorney before this hearing progresses.”
“It most certainly does not please the court, however, permission is granted. The recess will be extended by ten minutes. You got that?” Jay nodded and beckoned the attorney in question. “This is turning into a circus,” the judge murmured.
“Your Honor, in light of new evidence, I’d like the trial to be postponed until tomorrow,” the district attorney asked after speaking with Jay.
“That’s a very good idea, I don’t think I could take much more of this,” the judge announced as she banged the gavel.
Jay was pulled into one of the side meeting rooms. “What do you mean, she was raped?”
“Her father did something and it came flooding back to her as you were arguing with the judge. She was hysterical.”
“If we change the charges, we may get them to bargain.”
“I don’t want a bargain,” Jay stated. “I want that excuse for a man to rot in jail for what he’s done to her.”
“That’s what we all want,” the man replied. “Unfortunately that’s not what we’re going to get.”
“The Justice System, ha. It should be renamed the Unjust System.”
“At times like this, I couldn’t agree with you more. But we are going to have to change the charges if this is going to be admitted as evidence.”
Jay looked over at Arianna who was fast asleep on the couch across the room. “Do whatever is needed to keep that man as far away from her as possible.”

* * * * * * * * * *

Arianna yawned and stretched, wondering if it had all been a bad dream. “Morning sleeping beauty,” she heard Jay call to her. Arianna stopped mid-stretch and looked at him with wide eyes. “No,” he said apologetically, “it wasn’t a horrible nightmare. It’s all quite true.”
Arianna was impressed with his ability to read her mind. “Why are we going home?” she asked groggily.
“They have to change the charges, and therefore have a new trial with a new jury.”
“Because of me?” she asked.
“Because of what you remembered,” he corrected.
Arianna pushed herself closer to him and snuggled into his shoulder. “I’m going to sleep now in hopes that I’m going to wake up and have this all be nothing but an unhappy memory.”
Jay wrapped his arm around her and kissed the top of her head. “Sweet dreams,” he whispered. “You’ll need them.”
“Jay?”
“What?”
“What if he doesn’t get convicted?”
Jay hugged her tighter. “He will.”
“But what if he doesn’t? Will you always stay with me, and protect me from him. And promise to never let him get me back?”
“I promise.”
“I love you,” she whispered and fell asleep.
Jay froze. She loved him? He was shocked. He couldn’t believe she had said that. What shocked him even more, however, was the realization that he returned her feelings.

Jay carried Arianna up to her room and laid her down on her bed. He then took out a pair of her pajamas and prepared to get her changed so that she would be more comfortable. He hesitated briefly, but pushed his thoughts aside and sat her up. Her eyes fluttered open and she looked at him questioningly. “I’m going to help you get changed, ok?” he asked softly. She nodded and attempted to take off her shirt. “Slow down there, Angel,” he laughed. “You need to get these buttons undone before that shirt is going to go anywhere.” He slowly began unfastening her buttons one by one, revealing inch after inch of Arianna’s silky white skin. Jay leaned in and kissed her collarbone before he even realized what he was doing. She sighed contentedly and snuggled deeper into his warmth. He hurriedly put her T-shirt on before he was tempted to do anything else.
“Jay, take off my bra. I hate sleeping with it on…so uncomfortable,” she yawned.
Good God, Jay thought, she’s trying to kill me. He slowly moved his hands up her back and under her shirt until he reached the garment in question. This had never bothered him before, so why on earth did it get to him now? He removed it with shaking hands and threw it on a nearby chair along with her shirt. Next came the skirt and nylons. The former came off easily enough, but Jay immediately cursed whoever invented nylons. He slipped his fingers between the waistband and her smooth skin and began to inch them lower and lower. He held his breath as his fingers grazed her thighs all of the way down to her knees.
“Jay?” she called softly when he hesitated. He looked in her eyes and realized that she was wide-awake. He wondered how long she had been just watching him. She inched closer and closer to him until her lips met his, and she hesitated there, waiting for his response.
“What are you doing to me?” he asked against her lips.
She pulled away and looked at him for a few moments. “I guess I’m trying to make you my protector,” she whispered. “I don’t want to lose you.”
Jay pulled her close and kissed the top of her head. “You’ll never lose me. I give you my word on that.” After a few moments of silent contemplation, Jay spoke again. “Arianna?”
“Hmm?”
“I want you to listen to me. Are you awake?” She nodded, but he wasn’t satisfied. He sat her up and made her look at him. “Arianna, I’m going to tell you something that I want you to remember for the rest of your life, OK?”
“Uh-huh,” she replied sleepily.
“Arianna, I don’t want you to ever think that you ever have to do anything with me, or to me, to keep me. Do you hear?” She nodded, but Jay knew she hadn’t really heard. “If you don’t want me touching you, tell me,” he stated. “If you don’t want me to kiss you, tell me. If you don’t want me to hug you, feel free to pull away,” he continued.
“Jay?” She interrupted.
“What?”
“Stop talking,” she said simply.
Jay smiled and obliged her, as he finished with her nylons, and tucked her into bed. He kissed her forehead one last time before he went into his room and changed himself. No sooner had he climbed into bed than he heard a soft knocking on his door. He sighed heavily and called for whomever it was to come in.
“Can I stay with you?” came Arianna’s meek voice.
“Of course you can, Angel,” he answered and pulled the covers aside so that she could creep into bed next to him.
Arianna snuggled against him, nestled her head under his chin, and began lazily tracing circles on his chest with her finger.
Jay wrapped his arm around her and pulled her closer. “Good night,” he said.
“Good night,” she whispered back.

“What the hell is going on in here?” Maria yelled at her son.
Jay slowly opened his eyes and immediately closed them again to block out the garish lights. He attempted to rub his eyes sleepily, but one of his arms wouldn’t budge. He froze where he sat. Arianna was still in his bed. He opened his eyes, despite the pain, and began explaining to his mother. “It’s not what it looks like.”
“It most better not be,” she returned hotly.
“She has nightmares, and when she gets scared she comes into bed with me. It’s nothing more than that,” he lied.
“I’m not stupid, Jason,” Maria announced. “I saw the way you were holding her, I saw you kiss her in your sleep, and I saw her creep closer to you in response. That’s a little more than being comforting.”
Arianna yawned, sat up, and rubbed her eyes. “What’s going on?”
Jay laid her back down and pulled the covers back up to her chin. “Nothing, Angel, go back to sleep,” was his reply. He then got out of bed and went into the hallway, pulling his mother behind him. After the door was closed he continued. “I haven’t done anything out of line here. I haven’t touched her.”
“But you want to.”
“Of course I want to, any man with eyes would want to. She deserves better. She deserves the best.” Jay ran his fingers through his hair in exasperation. “I don’t know what to do. She told me she loved me, I think I love her too, but I know that she can get better than me.”
“Your aunt and uncle in California have been trying to get you out there for months,” Maria stated.
Jay looked at her in shock. “You think I should leave her?”
“I think that the sooner you remove yourself from this situation, the better off you’ll both be.”
Jay looked at his closed door, and pictured the girl innocently sleeping on the other side of it. He swallowed a lump forming in his throat and turned to his mother. “When do I leave?”

“Arianna,” Laura called from the doorway. Laura studied the girl sitting in her window seat staring out at nothing in particular and was brought back to the first time she had seen her. “Talk to me,” Laura pleaded. “You haven’t spoken in days, you barely touch your food. What’s wrong?”
Arianna turned to Laura with tears streaming down her cheeks. “What’s wrong? You actually need to ask me what’s wrong?” Arianna stood up and began storming toward Laura. “I come here because you force me into it, I deal with a family that doesn’t even attempt to make any type of contact with me, except for one boy who offers me the world, I finally start to feel wanted and loved for the first time in my life because of that same boy, then I wake up one morning and he’s gone and you have to ask me ‘What’s wrong?’? Why don’t you ask something that will take a little less time to answer, such as ‘What’s right?’?”
“Arianna, I know you’re upset,” she began.
“You don’t know what I am,” Arianna shot back. “Upset?” She laughed coldly. “Upset doesn’t even begin to describe it. I trusted him. I trusted him more than I’d ever trusted anyone. God, I even fell in love with him.” She wiped away her tears and continued in a measured tone, “I guess that just goes to show me that I shouldn’t let my guard down for a second.” After a moment of silence she added sadly, “He didn’t even say good-bye.”
“I’m sure he had his reasons,” Laura soothed. She pushed Arianna gently so that she was sitting on the bed and then took a seat next to her. “All men do things for reasons women can’t understand. Jay probably did what he thought was best for you.”
“What was best for me?” Arianna asked in pure disbelief. “He promised me he’d never leave me. He promised me that he’d always be here to protect me. I should have known better than to trust the promise of a man.”
Laura began gently stroking Arianna’s hair. “You’re so young,” she said more to herself than anyone. “Don’t shut yourself out from the male population because two men made very stupid mistakes. It wouldn’t be fair the rest who haven’t yet had their chance.” Laura then got up and left the room.
Arianna looked around and wondered why she had spent the past few days moping in her room. Silence wouldn’t bring Jay back to her. Pouting wouldn’t make him care about her. Even if he did come back and profess his love, she would be waiting with unwelcoming arms. Who was he to think that he could lie to her and tread upon her feelings without a second thought? Arianna decided in that moment that she didn’t need him, and she never had. She only thought she had.
With a new resolve Arianna stood up, wiped the unwanted tears from her cheeks and walked toward the door. She had spent her entire life putting on a façade of not caring; she could certainly do it now.

“Arianna?”
Arianna looked up expectantly.
“The jury is back.”
Arianna’s breath caught in her throat. This was what the past months of grueling testimony had led up to. Her fate hung on what this jury decided. She walked back into the courtroom and took her seat.
“How do you find the defendant?”
“On the count of child incest/rape, we find the defendant,”
Arianna held her breath. She looked at the woman who was so calmly reading of a piece of paper what had the ability to make Arianna’s life a living hell. If her father walked free she didn’t know what she would do, she didn’t want to contemplate it either.
“Guilty.”
“Arianna?” Arianna looked up when she heard her name called. “We won.”
“We won?”
The attorney nodded. “We won.”
“We won!” Arianna yelled in excitement.
The next events were to pass in a blur for Arianna. She was so relieved that she was rid of her father forever, that she didn’t think anything could harm her. She walked out of the courthouse happier than she had ever been. Her happiness was to be short-lived however.
“Miss Johanson, how do you feel now that your father is going to be put behind bars?”
“Miss Johanson, what is your take on the events of the past months?”
“Miss Johanson, how has turning into a virtual celebrity changed your life?”
Arianna ignored all of the meaningless questions from reporters and made her way toward the limousine that was to escort her home. It was then that her father was being escorted out and into the cruiser that was to escort him to his new home.
Neither of them were to make it to their destinations. Shots rang out, and people screamed and hit the ground.
“Arianna!” Someone screamed and ran to where she lay in a bloody heap on the ground. “Someone call a doctor.”
Within minutes the scene was littered with onlookers and ambulances taking the wounded and dead to the hospital. Arianna was lifted into the third ambulance to leave and the aforesaid someone insisted on going with her.
“Who are you?” A paramedic demanded.
“Someone who loves her,” the person responded.

* * * * * * * * *

Jay watched as the love of his life struggled to hang onto life. She had been through over twelve hours of surgery and the doctors still couldn’t promise anything. “A lot of this depends on her,” they would say whenever he asked. He hadn’t left her side since she had been brought here, four days earlier.
“Why don’t you go get something to eat,” Maria suggested to her son. “We’ll call you if there is any change.”
“I’m not leaving her,” was his solemn reply. He kept to his word. He just sat and stared as Arianna’s life slowly slipped away. Her chest heaved with every breath she took, and Jay wondered if it was his will driving her on. It seemed as though the space between each breath was getting larger and larger. He was going mad.
“Arianna,” he called. “You can’t leave me. I know I left you, and I can’t even begin to tell you how sorry I am. It was the stupidest thing I’ve ever done in my entire life. I’m going to spend the rest of my life making it up to you, I swear it. So you have to get better, Angel.” He blinked back tears that had started to form. “Remember when we first met? You tripped me down the stairs because of how rude I was to you. I started loving you right then and there. I fell even more in love with you that first night when you had a nightmare and I had to soothe you back to sleep.” He laughed as he wiped away an errant tear. “I don’t even think you knew I was there. When you were in such awe of my sketch I think I loved you even more. But once you told me off for calling you ‘Angel’, I knew that I loved you more deeply than I had ever loved anyone. That’s why you can’t leave me,” he told her and he kissed her forehead. “You and I are going to move away together and build a life for ourselves and live happily ever after, just like you always wanted. I love you, Arianna. Please don’t leave me.”
It was then that the heart monitor began its one long, loud beep.

Maria straightened out the collar of her son’s suit and brushed imaginary dust off of his sleeve. “Mom, it’s fine,” he said absently.
“I worry about you,” she said. “You’ve been through a lot. Between Arianna’s,”
“Mom,” he interrupted, “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“I’m sorry. I just feel like if I hadn’t pushed you to leave,”
Jay kissed his mother’s forehead. “There’s nothing either of us could have done to prevent what happened. Don’t dwell on it. Are you ready?”
She sighed heavily and looked at her youngest son with tears in her eyes. “Can anyone truly ever be ready for this?” She then walked solemnly to her seat in the front of the church.
Jay slowly made his way toward the front and his ultimate destination. His stomach was in knots. His mother was right, he realized, how could anyone ever be ready for something like this? He stood at the front and turned to look at all of the faces that had come to support him. He then turned and looked at Arianna, who seemed to be smiling even after everything that had happened to her. He was at least thankful that nothing would ever be able to hurt her again, he was going to make sure of that.
“Do you, Jason, take this woman, Arianna, to be your lawfully wedded wife…”