Many people just love to make up phrases and use them all the time especially stupid or funny ones! As lucy is one of these people she requested this page to learn more! lol!
1. Life is like a dick, when it gets hard fuck it!
2. Sex is like bungee jumping, after a while the rubber gets knackered!
3. My boyfriend says if I go surfing once more he'll dump me. Shame i'll miss that guy!
4. Smile, its the second best thing you can do with your lips!
5. Guilt is the cop in your head
6. Love is 3 minutes of squelching noises
7. Incest - a game the whole family can play
8. I think sex is better than logic but i can't prove it
9. If i said you had a beautiful body, would you hold it against me?
10. You can't fool all of the people all of the time, but if you do it just once it lasts for five years
11. I am bi-sexual. If i can't get it I buy it.
12. Your mind is like a Welsh railway - one track and dirty
13. Your face is like a million dollars - all green and crinkly
14. Womens faults are many, men only have two - everything they say and everything they do!
15. Women should be obscene and not heard
16. The penis is mightier than the sword
17. A woman is like a piano, when shes not upright shes grand
18. I'm not prejudiced - I hate everyone
19. Its 12" long but I don't use it as a rule
20. Sex appeal - please give generously
21. If sex is a pain in the arse - you're doing it wrong
22. Sex kills, die happy
23. Stop the world I want to get off
24. The wages of sin is death but the hours are good
25. If you're not confused, you're misinformed
26. My inferiority complexes aren't as good as yours
27. The best things in life are duty free
28. Sex is all right but its not as good as the real thing
29. Life is a sexually transmitted disease
30. Marriage is a wonderful institution - but who wants to live in an institution?
31. Oral sex is a matter of taste
32. God will give your whole body an orgasm when you die if you spend your life in divine foreplay
33. We are the people are parents warned us about
34. An erection is like the Theory of Relativity - the more you think about it, the harder it gets
35. Arrange the following words into a well-known phrase or saying: OFF PISS
36. Sex is bad for one - but its very good for two
37. May all your ups and downs be in bed
38. Yea, though I walk through the valley of death I will fear no evil, for I am the biggest son of a bitch in the valley
39. Virginity is like a balloon, one prick and its gone
40. Women were born without a sense of humour so they could love men and not laugh at them
41. You - Off my planet
42. Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
43. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup.
44. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
45. And your crybaby whiny opinion would be...?
46. Allow me to introduce my selves.
47. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.
48. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.
49. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.
50. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you weren't asleep
51. I can't remember if I'm the good twin or the evil one.
52. I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
53. You say I'm a witch like it's a bad thing.
54. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?
55. Chaos, panic, and disorder - my work here is done.
56. Earth is full. Go home.
57. Is it time for your medication or mine?
58. How do I set a laser printer to stun?
59. I'm not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
60. Men are like toilets, taken, vacant or full of shit
61. Men are like beer bottles empty from the neck up
62. I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
63. No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
64. Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
65. A true friend is someone who reaches for your hand and touches your heart.
66. The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
67. Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
68. To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
69. Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to spend their time on you.
70. Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened
71. Make yourself a better person and know who you are before you try and know someone else and expect them to know you
72. Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
73. Cover your stump before you hump
74. Before you attack her, wrap your whacker
75. Don't be silly, protect your willy
77. Don't be a loner, cover your boner
78. You can't go wrong if you sheild your dong
79. If you're not gonna sack it, Go home and whack it
80. If you think shes spunky, cover your monkey
81. If you slip between her thighs, be sure to condomize
82. It will be sweeter if you wrap your peter
83. She won't get sick if you wrap your dick
84. If you go into the heat, package up your meat
85. While your undressing venus, dress up your penis
86. When you take off her pants and blouse, Slip up your trouser ,ouse
87. Especially in december, gift wrap your member
88. Never, never deck her, with an unwanted pecker
89. Don't be a fool, vulcanize your tool
90. The right selection will protect your erection
91. Wrap it in foil before checking her oil
92. A crank in armour will never harm her
93.No glove, no love!
