I’ve been thinking a lot about the 20/20 that aired on ABC this past Friday night. The show examined the cult Heaven’s Gate, from which 39 people died in 1997. In situations like these, where people who seem to be otherwise “normal” are changed so drastically by their blind trust in a leader, we’re left with the question of “Why?”

What particularly struck me as perhaps the pivotal event that began the series of events that followed, was when one of the co-leaders of the cult, Marshall Herff Applewhite, came out as gay to his father, a Presbyterian minister, and his father completely rejected him. We learn from the documentary that Applewhite had had a successful career in music, as a talented baritone singer and university music professor. But we learn that he seemed deeply impacted by his father’s rejection. And that state of mind, having suffered a nervous breakdown, likely led to his vulnerability to the ideas of the other co-founder of the cult, Bonnie Lu Nettles, a nurse whom he met around that time who knew the Bible well but also had some unusual spiritual ideas. They came to believe they were the chosen two mentioned in the book of Revelation. And from there they shared their ideas with others and grew the cult. But my focus is on the root cause, more so than the events that followed.

The power of a parent’s love cannot be underestimated, nor the impact of a parent’s rejection. Rejected/hurt people impact others. My point isn’t a debate as to whether homosexuality is right or wrong, sinful or not. What it is to say is our most foundational love need is to feel loved and accepted by our parents, and when that is absent, there is a negative impact. Applewhite’s father’s rejection of him was a pivotal moment in his life that changed his life forever. It was the origin of a series of events that led to the tragic end of life to 38 other people besides Applewhite himself.

I also recently saw the movie “Rocket Man,” a documentary of Elton John’s life. He too suffered from being rejected by his father and led to his addictions to alcohol and drugs. It’s heart wrenching seeing the impact of his interactions with a father who clearly didn’t care about him.

I have to think that a spiritual Jesus still sits among us, scratching in the sand, as he continues to admonish us not to judge others. It was with deep anguish of soul at the Passover supper, that Jesus admonished his followers to “love one another, as I have loved you.”

Rejection is powerful and impactful, especially the rejection of a child (whether adult or not), but the rejection of anyone is impactful. We don’t have to agree with everyone’s behavior, but there is good and bad, right and wrong, inside each one of us—none of us are so holy to be on a higher level than anyone else.

We are not called to judge—we are called to love.

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