As my dog Tinker’s end of life is now near, I’ve been thinking about how life changes forever with both birth and with death; about there being anticipation with both impending birth and with impending death; about how both coming into this world and leaving it involve pain, unfortunately more so for some than for others; and about Jesus’ words to his disciples in the Garden of Gethsemane as he knew his time of suffering and death were imminent: “Stay with me,” because he didn’t want to go through it alone.

Relationships are changed forever with a birth, when we add someone into our lives. The dynamics of our lives are changed, especially because of varying personalities. Each living being has an impact on those around it, sometimes in a positive way and other times in a negative way. Our relationships with others are filled with a wide array of emotions—sometimes with immense joy, sometimes with immense sorrow. And relationships are changed forever with a death, when we lose someone from our lives. The dynamics of our lives are again changed; there is a hole in our lives, the place that the lost one had occupied.

With both birth and death, there is usually a period of anticipation: with birth, anticipation of joy; with death, anticipation of sorrow. And although of course ideally we’d prefer a life without pain, that isn’t how life works. I’ve heard the phrase, “Pain with a purpose,” which holds true, whether it be a birth or a death—for one transitioning into the world, and for the other transitioning out. Transitions are painful.

With both birth and death, these are experiences that we want to share with others, especially those we feel a close relationship with. With birth we want to share our joy: joy shared is twice as joyful; with death we want to share our sorrow: sorrow shared is halved.

And so as I walk through this end of life journey with Tinker, I will be most mindful of the words of Jesus as he faced his imminent suffering and death: “Stay with me.” I will stay with her and comfort her through this painful transition from this life to the next.

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