I was diagnosed formally with Autism (Asperger's Syndrome) on Wednesday, 31st May 2000 in Sheffield. I went through several emotions in the months afterwards.
The questions I asked myself were.
Why did it happen to me and not (At that point at least though I know differently now) anybody else in my family I knew of?
What causes it?
Could I have been diagnosed earlier?
Why wasn't anything picked up at school?
What will I do now?
What will the future hold?
How will people react if or when I tell them?
What services are there? Why is there nothing where I live?
I am not the sort of person by and large who sits back and lets things happen. So, I contacted a few Autism organisations within South Yorkshire. I phoned Axholme House in Doncaster on Wednesday, 7th June 2000, to see if I could visit them. They said I could, so I paid a visit on the afternoon of Friday, 16th June 2000. I talked to a few of the service users, as it is fashionable to call them nowadays. Some had Autism and others had Asperger's Syndrome. I also attended their quiz night on Wednesday, 21st June 2000, which was about music. I won two prizes but gave one of them to an Autistic woman, who I won't name personally for privacy reasons. She thanked me for it. I was deeply saddened to learn in 2007 of the tragic death of Marie Houldsworth, a resident there, who died suddenly and unexpectedly of a seizure in January that year. Marie, who was born in September 1968, who was only 38 when she passed away. She had Autism and I got on with her very well.
On Thursday, 29th June 2000 I phoned Robert Ogden School to check if it was OK for me to pay a visit. They said that it was and we arranged for this visit to take place on Friday 14th July 2000. I explained that I had been diagnosed with Asperger's Syndrome one month earlier. The Robert Ogden school is based at Thurnscoe near Rotherham and was opened on Thursday, 13th July 2000, the day before my visit. There were two people attending the school who had Asperger's Syndrome. I talked to those who worked there along with the residents, who I sat with and had dinner with.
One thing I wish, looking back, is that the person who diagnosed me had done is perhaps provide me some advice on what route to take in life from then on and perhaps had provided guidance, such as counselling sessions and social and interaction skills sessions. There wasn't any real follow-up. It was just a case of "You are diagnosed, thank you very much. Enjoy the rest of your life".
I continued to see, every four months or so the psychiatrist who I was referred to by the GP on Tuesday 1st February 2000. Although I find it very difficult to trust people, I felt I could open up to him. In April 2003, just before his 57th birthday, he decided to take early retirement. I used to see him every four months - the final time was on Monday 10th March 2003. I got on with him and he was sadly missed. He also signed the guestbook on this website on Tuesday, 4th December 2001, eighteen months after my diagnosis.
On Monday, 10th July 2000 I was browsing the internet and I discovered George Handley's website by chance. He put his website on the internet on Monday, 5th June 2000, just five days after my diagnosis. I emailed George, who lives in Nottingham and I've never met him to this day in person, on Thursday, 13th July 2000 for the first ever time but for some reason his email came back as being corrupt. George's website offered, and still does now, a lot insight along with his views. It also provides many useful links on Autism and AS to the local and national media. His website, along with that of David Andrews' who was the first person to suggest that I had AS, no primary or secondary school teacher suggested it, inspired me to design my own. However, whilst both David Andrews and George Handley's websites were an inspiration, I wanted my website to be different to either of their websites - and it is. David Andrews is David Andrews. George Handley is George Handley. I am me.
Whilst I wanted, and had to, release my pent-up feelings about how I felt, and my experiences and views on life with the condition, they weren't the principal motives or reason who inspired me to design a website. There was much more to it than that. I felt it was vital to make people more aware of Asperger's Syndrome and how affects any person who has it. I find it hard to explain exactly what AS is in a brief, clear, succinct way. Misinterpretations can often occur. It may be easy to describe what other conditions are but it isn't as easy to what describe Asperger's Syndrome in such a manner, due it's complexity and invisibility.
A third motive was that if I design a website, perhaps it could have inspired other people with AS to design theirs, and get more people with the condition opening up about their life and experiences with the condition so other people could be helped. Or may take the view, "If he can design a website, so can I". As a result, the condition could be made in the open even more.
A fourth motive why I decided to do what I did, was that any parent or family member or even friend of someone who is suspected has AS, or Teacher could read my psychological and behavioural history on my website and think to themselves, "Hey, he or she behaves like that, I wonder if they have AS". I thought that if it does help anyone, then my experiences won't have been in vain and won't have happened for nothing.
A fifth motive was that at least I could salvage something positive, if not for myself, then for other people, and therefore my experiences won't have been in vain.
With all of these motives and reasons in tow, on Monday 24th July 2000 I decided to create my own website. The problem was that I didn't know how to do it, so temporarily I put it on hold. July and August 2000 were a bit early to do this looking back now.
