| "Simon seems like just a thinly-veiled version of Matthew Kelly. And I like that." |
| -Lenny |
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JOE QUIMBY - BIO
Family patriarch and history teacher Alan Mackie flees Bangor to escape persecution for touching children.
H.M.S. Bondage arrives on a remote island off Scotland . Alan converts a local tribe of into his followers. The men become pole dancers as do the children, the women are all shot causing the tribe to soon die out.
Alan moves on to find a new settlement, soon finding Squaresville in Square County, Squareland
Simon is born, his father's first legitimate child. Alan also has children with Agnes Moorehead and, later,
with all of his son's nannies.
Simon enrolls in Squaresville University, majoring in Paediatrics.
During his sophomore year, SImon leads a student sit-in to
protest the university lifting the ban on partying, drugs and drinking alcohol on campus.
Simon announces his candidacy for mayor. He is nicknamed "Diamond Simon"
because he owns many diamonds.
Simon wins the Squaresville mayoral race. Corpses, gingers, dogs and Squares
vote in record numbers.
-Present - Simon Mackie presides over Squaresville during the greatest
period of peace, prosperity and massive squareness the town has ever known.
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