What did somebody ask for more stories?

What's the use of me making these stories if nobody is going to read them? You'd better read because you never know I could come to your house and if I do its probably too far for my lazy ass to go and I'll be all pissed off. You'll come to the door an be like "Hey, it's that cool guy! Hey cool guy want some punch? Oh, sorry I didn't have time to read your stories yet." Notice the word yet there. I'm going to kill this guy because he just didn't have time. If you don't want to die you must read these stories as soon as they are put up. I'll be winded so I'll take some punch that WILL taste like crap. Since it’ll just fuel my rage I'll give you a prize for best punch. No stupid your life wont be spared. Depending on how crappy the punch is the prizes could range from a quick shot in the head (and don't think just because you won I wont proceed to mangling your dead body) to oh hell lets just the worst to your imagination, but I'll give you a clue it will involve a French, a rusty tuna can lid, and a prison cell. While I eat I will also pry into your mind and wont even notice. I'll stealthily find out what your worst fear is just to torture you better. You’re saying "Well, that's stupid if he kills me then he has one less person reading his cool stories". But, don't you worry because I'll go parading your head around everybody you know and threaten to kill them if they don't read this. Even infants I'm tired of a mothers running in right before I gouge the baby's eyes out with a rusty spatula yelling "HE CAN'T READ LET ALONE TYPE THE ADDRESS IN TO YOUR AWESOME SITE" then I get really mad and bludgeon the mother to death with her precious baby, I'm gonna make a great father. I expect babies to read the site as much as I'd expect a retard, old person, or Jew to read it. You don't believe me. Well, look at the picture and ask Arnold Schwarzenegger then tell me you don't believe me. He has those songlasses on to hide his ow missing eye and his black eye. And just look at that face, it's the face of somebody who thought they could mess with me then got severly beat. You can tell by the little pussy frown he's putting on. He thought the gun would help him. On the fifth round he fired into my stomach I decided that the bullets were tickling me too much and bit his finger off. He may not be able to use his finger anymore but at least he'll be more thoughtful next time. You don't think it's too extreme do you? Hey that'll be my new marketing ploy "READ MY EXTREME STORIES OR YOU'LL EXTREMEly DIE" wow now that's original. Think it's extreme well then bitch to Chad because that's what will happen whether or not you want to believe it. I have witnesses that say it will happen. Who do you think took the picture? Arnold Schwarzenegger only missed my story once. I spared him only because I like the movie, hey wait a second Arnold Schwarzenegger wasn't in Jay & Silent Bob Strike Back. Damn, that bastard lied to me. He's probably already fled the country. Well, that means I have some unfinished business to take care of. Just read the stories and you’ll be fine.

If you know me you know I hate Japanimation also called anime by the pros. I hate everything about it but I mainly hate it because it's from Japan though. It isn't enough that they're making all of our cars, TVs, CD players, and pretty much everything else that's even possible to have a computer chip in it but now they are controlling what our children watch pretty soon we'll be speaking the language. Actually, come to think of it I like the Chinese and Japanese they're just so funny to watch. But, every product from there is crap. By every product I mean only anime. They are better than us at everything else. Japanese companies make everything look at Misubishi they make everything from cars to TVs to pens. Well, back to the story everybody comes up to me and say "Hey did you see the new Dragonball-Z show?" and as much as I hate violence I must break they're face with the 2x4 that's mysteriously in my basement. So, I realized I had a new mission in life: to try and make anime look cool. Well, look at the picture that's the most I could do. It's also the most I've ever used Microsoft Paint so I'm sorry if it's terrible. But, just look at that guy from his cigarette right down to his six-shooter and Colt 45. You know there's no fucking around with this guy. Notice the emo glasses now that's style. That's just a joke. I just japaniman here didn't need to be that cool. I didn't want people to think that japanimation was cool just because this guy drinks, smokes, and owns a gun. It's safety. This isn't really a story it's pretty much just me complaining about how much I HATE ANIME but I'm sure people will enjoy it anyway. Because if they don't. I'm shaking my fist.

Well, people don't realize but Xbox is the greatest system ever. In 100, hell, 1,000,000 years it will still be the greatest. You know why? Not because of its "power" it's because I own one. So, I tell everyone that Xbox is the best and they start to tell me about megabytes and processors and shit like that. Then, I tell them I own one and they start to tell me how great it is for they fear me greatly and who wouldn't? But, alas, I must bitch slap them...to death. Hey at first they doubted me. I don't need any of that born again bullshit. But, don't worry it isn't as cruel as it sounds because I being the coolest man in the world would naturally wear a pimp ring. Me being as cool as I am needs to be different so I had one especially created for me with a razor blade on it. I've calculated it and it takes me exactly 297 hits before I'm done. Oh, they die around the eleventh hit. But, beating up corpses is the highlight of my day and it's not like the people care they're dead. Anyway, back to what I was talking about the only way to be sure that Xbox is the greatest is of course by ultimate ninja battle. Going into it Playstation 2 has an advantage going in because of all the companies the CEO of Sony takes it in the butt from. So, knowing this and being a genius Xbox goes after Gamecube first. At first, before realizing that Game cube is like a Catholic Priest and its main focus of interest is pre-pubescent boys, Xbox tries to kick Gamecube in the nuts. Then, realizing that Gamecube had no balls Xbox just yelled "OOGA BOOGA" and Gamecube being the pussy that it is went, cried, and tried to hide face down in the dirt from the all powerful Xbox. Being merciful Xbox decided not to slaughter this pitiful system. Next was the real challenge, Playstation 2. At first, Playstation 2 tried to throw its memory cards at Xbox, but they just bounced off Xbox's shell like popcorn. Next, PS2 tried to throw some of its CDs at Xbox. This angered the Almighty Xbox, not because it hurt but because Xbox respected the games that came to it and Playstation 2 didn't. So a huge hand yelling all kinds of obscenities at Play Station 2. It was time for Xbox's secret weapon. The hand grabbed the cord to the controller and swung it around gaining momentum. Then the Xbox Hand bore down all eight pounds of the gigantic controller onto the feeble case of Playstation 2. Playstation 2 broke instantly. So, boys and girls it looks like Xbox is all time console ruler. Also, notice that the controller in the picture is the original controller. The Japanese one is for pussies. Just, because I can't lift it doesn't mean it sucks. I kick ass with that controller.