By: PhoandBeer

Reek arrives at the international airport in Vice City, he’s strangely dressed and has an Irish accent, he appears drunk and bewildered. He wanders outside the airport and waits for his ride.

Reek: Awww fuck… *hiccups* this place is as hot as the time I stuck my whacker in a box full of coals… with crabs… with an anal virus… that was contagious… ehhh… it was hot.

A car pulls up and out pops Fuck, a special man that takes special classes.

Reek: Fuck, how are you doin’ Fuck?

Fuck: *Screams everything he says* Uncle Reek! I’m going to bring you to my house! Eh… your sweatin’ a lot Uncle!

Reek: Yes yes my lad…*hiccups* You know it‘s real real hot here…

Fuck: It’s Vice City Uncle! It’s hot here a lot! *jumps up and down*

Reek: Yes… it’s almost hot as the time I stuck my…

Fade out into next scene. They are driving back to the hotel.

Reek: So my boy, how are ya?

Fuck: I’m happy!!

Reek: Yes… all the time. *hiccups*

Fuck: Uncle, why you come here!?

Reek: Well, I told you that I hated this Vice City of yours… this pile of shit!

Fuck: But!! Why!?

Reek: Well, Fuck… lemme tell you. there are things… things that live underground. Under Vice City my boy.

Fuck: YES!

Reek: Yes, they are called Giggulus!

Fuck: Giggulus?!

Reek: *hiccups* Yes… Giggulus! They look like us, talk like us, and even shit like us… BUT!

Fuck: HAHA! BUTT!

Reek: Listen lad… this will leave you in disbelief! But…

Fuck: BUTT!

Reek: They are the Devil’s children!

Fuck: Devil!!!! Ohhh Waaa! *honks horn a few times*

Reek: I know… I know *hiccups* You want them dead too!

Fuck: Dead?! How Uncle Reek!?

Reek: Well… Fuck, The little Devil’s children come up at night looking like… people!

Fuck: Wah! People!

Reek: *hiccups* Yes… they look for innocent people… normal people! Like… like YOU and… and ME!

Fuck: AHHH! *honks horn*

Reek: Calm down… they will spot us! Look lad. *hiccups* We will strike them tomorrow! But we must plan an attack. An attack yes…

Fuck: Yes attack!

Reek: Now boy, you will be on the cellular phone thing and you will tell me where the little demons are… Because! You my boy… *hiccups* have a gift!

Fuck: Special!

Reek: Yes… you can see things I cannot! *hiccups*

Fuck: See!

Reek: Yes… but you can see them with… with your mind! You will tell me if they are evil! But you will stay in the hotel… I need you alive my boy.

Fuck: OK UNCLE!

They arrive at the hotel. Fade out. The next day. Reek gets into a car and drives up to the next light and calls Fuck.

Fuck: YES!?

Reek: Calm down lad… The pills in your lower bottom draws are helping me concentrate. They are beginning to take effect! Now… when I point at somebody… you will tell me if they are evil or good! Got it lad? *hiccups*

Fuck: AHH OK!

Reek: Good or Evil? *hiccups* This one.

Fuck: AHH Good!

Reek: Ok. Now this one!

Fuck: BAD! ALL BAD!! KILL! DEVIL!!

Reek gets out of the car and pounds the sucker to death and the nearby police takes notice.

Reek: Your on their side!

Reek kills the police and gets back in the car.

Fuck: UNCLE!

Reek: Doing good my lad… now… how about this one?

Fuck: UHH… BAD!

Reek runs him over and drives around the block and stops.

Reek: Ok.. Now… this guy!

Fuck: UHHH… OH MY GOD! BAD!!

Reek does his thing.

Reek: Giggulus!!! Everywhere!!

Reek gets back into the car and drives to the local gas station and parks.

Reek: Ok lad! *hiccups* Now… tell me… are they all bad?

Fuck: YES!! THEY BAD!

Reek gets out. A gang of police rushes to kill Reek. A chase scene and explosions… action and stuff until he gets busted. Fade out and Reeks in jail. He calls Fuck.

Fuck: UNCLE!

Reek: Yes Fuck… The Giggulus got me. They put me… put me in their cells! You got to help me!

Fuck: Coming!!!

Fuck gets into a car and runs to the hardware store and looks at the chainsaw for a minute

Fuck: UHH! NAW UH!

He looks at the screwdriver.

Fuck: YES! I WANT IT!

He buys it and rushes to the police station where he starts a fight and Reek escapes only because of Fuck’s distraction of the police. Reeks drives to the airport and looks back…

Reek: There is still evil in the air… But there is more evil in the world that need me! *hiccups* I’m going to thank you lad… Good job Fuck… *hiccups* You know this place is too hot… almost as hot as the time I stuck my…

End