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~~~~23~~~~

So, now I have four fiancées after me, an uncute tomboy, a lunatic cook with a giant spatula, a nutty Amazon, and a stupid rich-girl ballerina who beats up her opponents, and on top of that an old crone who wants me as her son-in-law, and an old perverted bastard who keeps stealing women’s underwear and grabs their breasts including mine at every opportunity.  To top it all off there are several ‘rivals’ for the fiancées I don’t want, who want to kill me...

And oh, yeah, unlike you, you perverted, dishonorable horndog, I actually HATE turning into a girl.  It’s a living hell!

See if you can top that,

Your pal,

Ranma.

Xander finished reading Ranma’s letter, and shook his head.  “Living hell, he says,” he muttered with a grin.  “Come back to me when you’re living on top of the /actual/ hell.”  He grabbed himself a pen, and a piece of paper and started writing.

Yo, Ranma,

First things first, pal.  What’s this?  The second letter in how many months?  Too slow, too little, too long.  My best friend since kindergarten - the one that SURVIVED at least, you with your living hell...

Anyway, where was I?  Oh, yeah, best friend, she’s like this computer super genius.  She got her own computer at home, hooked up to this giant global network.  I saw her exchange ‘e-mail’, with an on-line friend of hers who lives in Europe - delivered in a few seconds, had a reply in a few minutes.  I’m going to take her computer shopping for me soon, you HAVE to convince your dad or future father-in-law - heh, heh - to get one as well, so we can do this via e-mail.

On to topping; you think you’ve got it bad?  Check this out, friend of mine.

I wrote you about MY Amazon and her mother last time didn’t I?  Things have happened: I slept with Buffy... I hear you; isn’t that good thing?

Not if she’s still in love with a demon-animated corpse, tells it you to your face, you get pissed off, start a big shouting match about betrayals and lies, and oh yeah, Willow told Buffy to back off from me if she was a real friend... she went to fess up... two best friends broken up, and no Buffy smoochies for a long while after that.

Friends back together though; not that that keeps the demons from killing us... or hiring assassins from a few-thousand-year-old assassins cult filled with the deadliest human, super-human, and demonic assassins; nine total, three of them for me.  Bullets, mind control, electricity, you name, they used it to try and kill us...

One of them was human, and my friend Cordelia was forced to kill her.  I broke off any potential relationship with her right after that, while she was hurting like hell over the kill, although I didn’t know that.  You can imagine what I inadvertently put her through, but if you think THAT was bad...

A demon beat me up to get me to marry him... I joined the Amazons to keep Lotion from doing that damn Kiss of Death on Buffy; yeah, Slayer battle instincts caught up, and she decided payback was a good idea; and oh, yeah, the Amazon goddess paid us a visit, and blessed us on top of the Hellmouth with interesting times...

But no, that’s not the real bad stuff: Buffy’s 17^th birthday party, that’s where the bad stuff started...

*****

Buffy woke up and looked around her room, wondering what had awoken her.  She found a piece of paper on her nightstand that said, ‘Happy Birthday.’  She blinked and got out of bed, her attire a short skirt and blouse, which she only fleeting wondered about having worn to bed. She opened the door of her bedroom and stepped into the Bronze, where people were partying.

She walked onward, weaving almost as if floating between the people.  “Hey.”

Buffy turned to her right, and smiled.  “Xander,” she said and walked up to him.  His chest was bare for some reason.  He only wore tight jeans, and he looked yummy.  She took him into her arms and vice versa, and they shared a hot, passionate kiss.  They broke apart and it seemed as if he was in a blaze of light, yet her eyes didn’t hurt.

“Happy Birthday, I hope,” he told her with a grin.

“It will be with you in it,” she answered with a smile.

Xander’s face turned a little darker and he pleaded, “Please don’t do it.”

“Don’t do what?” she asked confused, and then Xander turned away from her, turning to her left.  She frowned and looked around.  Then she came across another bright figure, albeit not as bright as Xander.

“Hey, Buffy,” her mother greeted, lifting a cup from a saucer to her mouth.

“Mom?” she wondered, not quite understanding.

Joyce smiled and asked, “Do you think you’re ready?”

“Huh?” Buffy wondered out loud and then her mother dropped the green saucer and green cup.  They crashed to pieces on the ground.  Buffy looked, then smiled and made to help her mother pick up the pieces.

“Oh, no, enjoy your birthday,” Joyce said and made shooing motions.

Buffy turned away, and the crowd parted.  From it came a bright figure.  “Hello, Buffy,” he spoke soulfully.

“Angel,” she said with a grin, and walked up to him, planting a kiss on his lips.  It was passionate, but cool as vampire kisses were wont to be.  They broke apart.  “So, I’m curious,” Buffy said with a cheeky grin.

“Curious?” Angel asked and took a step back to take her in more fully.  Buffy smiled, and then her smile vanished as she saw the vamped out face of Drusilla appear behind Angel, readying a stake.  “Angel!” Buffy yelled and reached forward.  The stake plunged in Angel’s back, and he jerked.  She reached forward, but his fingers crumbled to dust, just as she was about to touch him.

She watched in horror as Angel fell to dust, and Drusilla said, “Curiosity is what killed the kitty, and daddy’s been such a bad kitty.”  Then the vampire vanished.

“No!” Buffy called in horror and turned around lost, her eyes falling on the bright Xander. A less bright Willow stepped next to him, and then he dimmed, becoming the same brightness as Willow.  The two smiled at her, and then shared a deeply passionate kiss, before turning back to her and smiling.

Buffy sat bolt upright in her bed.  “Oh, my god.”

*****

“Giles!” Buffy called as she entered the library.

She looked around and noticed Jenny busy with Willow in some kind of exercise.  Xander was present going through his morning Tai Chi warming up routine, with Cordelia next to him doing the same.  Oz sat in a chair watching the whole proceeding with interest . . . or perhaps disinterest . . . it really was difficult to tell with the aloof guy.

“Yes?” Giles spoke as he came out of his office.

“I just had a dream where Drusilla killed Angel,” Buffy said with desperation, going over to the counter.  “I checked up on him, and he’s fine, but . . .”

“Good Lord,” Giles spoke out his concern, “if Drusilla is still alive . . .”

“We’ll tackle her when we get to her,” Xander said from his position.

Buffy bent around Giles and said, “The dream was so real, I’ve had dreams like that before . . .”  Buffy shivered.

“We’ll just have to be extra careful until we’re sure; unless the dream told you exactly where and when we can find her,” Xander answered casually.

“Xander has a rather good point, Buffy,” Giles pointed out, and reset his glasses.  “I will keep an eye out for signs, prophecies and anything else I might find that points to one thing either way . . . you have stopped dreams from coming true before; the rising of the master as I recall.”

“Yeah, you smashed up his bones but good,” Willow said with a grin at her best friend.  “I remember, I was hanging upside down just before that.”

Buffy couldn’t forget either; it had been her hotheadedness that got Willow in that situation, and she shuddered as she forced the memory of the payback she’d received away. Buffy nodded, and said, “Yeah, can’t forget that.”  Buffy calmed down a bit.  “I guess you guys are right, but it was so real.”

“I’m not saying this isn’t serious, Buffy,” Giles said with a serious tone, “a Slayer’s dreams are often rife with omens, but a Slayer also has normal dreams, and sometimes the omens are as symbolic and un-literal as normal dreams.”

“Yeah, just this other day I dreamed of you all covered in oil and feathers, but do you see yourself feathered, of course not,” Cordelia remarked snidely.

Buffy narrowed her eyes at the cheerleader, trying to remember again why she’d decided to keep her secret about the whole I-killed-a-human thing.  “You’re not a Slayer,” Buffy pointed out annoyed.

“You /know/ what I mean, stupid bottle blonde,” Cordelia told Buffy.

Buffy and Willow gasped, then Buffy gasped again, louder.  “I-I am /not/ a bottle blonde,” Buffy said sharply, pissed off.   “I use highlights, but I’m a natural blonde, dark blonde.  Tell her, Xander.”

Jenny’s eyes widened.  Giles started, “Now why would- . . .”

Cordelia cut him off though, “So you’re admitting you’re stupid?”

Willow broke her lotus position and rushed over to Buffy.  The redhead grabbed Buffy by the shoulders, and she said, “Buffy, it’s not nice to slay your friends.”

Jenny injected some reason into the library by saying, “How about we leave the insults for a moment, and focus.  There’s classes, there’s training, and there’s keeping our eyes open. Hair is not a priority.”  Buffy and Cordelia gasped at that, directing twin looks of horror to Jenny.

Before the two could go off on a rant about the importance of hair, Giles interjected, “I believe classes start about now.”

When the kids left, Giles and Jenny remained, with Giles being thoughtful.  “Sneaky,” Jenny said with a smile, put her arms around his waist.  “We have quite some time still.”  She kissed him on the lips, and he half-heartedly kissed back.

Jenny broke the kiss, and asked, “Rupert?  What are you thinking of that’s more important then kissing me?  Rupert?”

“Huh, oh,” Giles answered, turning his eyes down at her, going over her words again, “I was just wondering how Xander could confirm that- . . .”  He looked up in revelation, and looking straight forward, he finished, “Oh, bollocks.”

Jenny gave a low moan and asked him, “Say that again.”

“Say what?” Giles asked her.

Jenny grinned up at him, “Bolucks, it sounds sexy.”  Her attempt to recreate the word failed miserably.

*****

A dream, big deal, right?  Yeah, that’s what we thought... big mistake.

*****

“Unless dark blonde equals black, she’s /so/ a bottle blonde,” Cordelia muttered to herself with Oz walking to her right.  The others were a few meters ahead of them.

“Snippy,” Oz commented casually and softly.

“Huh?” Cordelia said turning her head to look at him.

Oz looked up at her, with a seeming neutral face, except that the sparkling in his eyes showed he was smiling.  He spoke, “You’re snippy this morning.”

“I’m always snippy,” Cordelia bit at him, and continued, “you don’t get to say that, I’m never snippy, I’m sunshine itself.”

“Oh, no, lately you’re a whole lot worse than normal.  You’re even insulting them when they can’t hear you, and that’s far too inefficient for your normal self,” Oz spoke with a grin.

“Well . . . I can be snippy if I want to,” Cordelia said and looked straight ahead.  Oz checked the distance between them and the other three in front of him, and suddenly grabbed Cordelia by the arm.  With a quick motion he went to the right, opening a janitor’s closet.  As expected, Cordelia’s sense of decorum made her hesitate to scream bloody murder, until after the two were in the closet.  Oz closed the door and turned on the light.  “Why you!” Cordelia hissed out quietly, as she didn’t want her voice to be heard coming from inside a janitor’s closet.

“It’s the killing-a-human thing, isn’t it?” Oz said with a sincere face.  Cordelia’s expression became less angry.  Oz grabbed her waist and gently pulled her closer to him. “You’re not evil, she needed to be stopped, it will be okay.”

Cordelia sniffled, and then wrapped her arms around Oz, having to duck a little to get the hug better.  She sobbed a bit as Oz tightened his arms all the way around Cordelia’s back. After a few seconds Cordelia stopped and lifted her upper body from the guitarist.  Cordelia looked at him somewhat annoyed and accused, “You’re short.”  Oz shrugged.  Cordelia added, “Have to start wearing shorter heels, or no heels at all.”  Oz once again shrugged, and then the cheerleader dipped forward again, except this time her lips pushed feverishly against his.  Oz returned the fiery kiss, with just as much fire, despite his usually cool exterior.  Their tongues dueled at first, then settled in a loving caressing rhythm that drove both wild with passion.  Having forgotten any attempt at breathing, they broke apart once air became an issue.  “Wow,” Cordelia muttered.  She and Oz had kissed before, and she had found she enjoyed his comfort quite a bit, but their sweet exploratory kisses had never been this intense, or had so much tongue involved.

“Wow, most indeed,” Oz spoke, a wide contented smile on his face.

“Never felt that kissing anyone before, except Xander, but- . . .”

Cordelia was interrupted by Oz pulling her back to him, and restarting a kiss that quickly glowed white-hot, easily exceeding the first one.  After they broke apart, Cordelia held on to him to keep from standing.  “What?” she managed.

“I figured practice makes perfect, and I want to exceed Xander as soon as possible,” Oz said still a bit dazed at the kiss himself, as his hands gently stroked Cordelia’s back.

“Good thought, very good thought,” Cordelia said with a lazy grin.  She then schooled her face and took a step back, making Oz lower his arms back down to her waist.  “I should really be upset with you, you crass individual, interrupting me like that,” Cordelia said with a cool edge to her voice, then after opening the door walked off.

“You’re right, I’m sorry,” Oz said with an unexpected difficult cool, turning off the light and joining Cordy outside the closet.

“You should be,” Cordelia said with fire growing back in her voice.  She started walking to the right, Oz coming up next to her.  “In fact, I should punish you for that, if only I could think of a suitable punishment.”

“I will be forever in your debt, if you find it in your heart not to,” Oz said, and then smirked up at Cordelia.

“You /better/ not be smirking at me, shorty,” Cordelia shot at him.

“I don’t smirk, I grin,” Oz said with perfect composure and a grin.  As Cordelia narrowed her eyes at him, he asked, “About Buffy’s birthday party.”

“Oh, yeah, where I have to bring the food,” Cordelia spoke in annoyance.  “Exactly why would I go to Bottle Blonde’s birthday party again?”

“Dip, you just have to bring the dip,” Oz corrected smoothly, then answered her question, “And you go because she’s a friend you fight the forces of darkness with.”

Cordelia sighed theatrically and said, “But they make me slave away on the dip.”

“I’m willing to help with opening a few bags, and mixing it with water,” Oz offered with a smile.

“Oh, don’t bother, I have the maids working on it,” Cordelia answered with a grumble and Oz nodded with a smile.  This girl was amazing - she just loved to rant and rave, and he figured she earned it.  “But what the hell do you get for a bottle blonde Slayer?”

“Better haircut?” Oz suggested casually walking along.

“Hmm,” Cordelia muttered, and then looked down.  “Have you figured out a gift yet?”

“Nope,” Oz answered.  “Go find one together?”  Cordelia smiled.

*****

There was knocking on the door.  Angel walked over to answer it.  He opened the door, and did a double take.  “Mrs. Summers,” he said in shock, staying there rooted to the floor.

“You must be Angel,” Joyce spoke with a pleasant smile that sent Angel’s hackles up.

Shaking himself out of his shock with his 240-year experience, he opened the door further and said, “Come in, come in.”

“Thank you,” Joyce said coolly and entered his apartment, looking around the place with a skeptical look.  “So, this is where you and my daughter have been . . . doing things together.”

“Uh, well, n-no . . . we have not- . . .”

“Oh, I know you two haven’t . . . consummated yet, Angel; but here is where the things happen that might lead up to it,” Joyce said, looking around the place again, checking out the small living area with a table and a couch, a set of stairs, while one side had a small kitchen. Through a door in the back was another room; a bed showed it was the bedroom.  Joyce’s left eye twitched for a moment, quite displeased with the dump.

Angel was nervous as hell; he may have superior strength, but he knew not to piss of mothers, most certainly not good mothers who cared about their daughters.  So he tried modest honesty, “Ah, well, yes . . . I suppose . . . I have no intention of harming your daughter in any way, Mrs. Summers.”

“And yet you do,” Joyce said flatly.

“Uh . . . no, I don’t?” Angel return nervously.

Joyce gave a single despairing chuckle, and then took a step closer to the vampire.  “You drag her into the night, you can’t bring her out into the sun, you can’t give her children, she’s kissing a demon-animated /corpse/, and undoubtedly would like to do more with that corpse; and oh, yeah, you seduced her, by giving her expensive gifts and hiding in shadows from what I gathered, while teenagers who are not immortal, or had any kind of super strength back then were risking their lives to save the world fighting alongside my daughter.”  Joyce took a step forward and bore her eyes into Angel’s eyes.  The vampire gulped, just before Joyce finished, “She’ll turn seventeen tomorrow, and has no idea what she’ll do with the rest of her life. She’s a teenager, think back to when you were one.  You might not call that harming, I do.”

Nervously the souled vampire gulped once again, and explained, “I don’t have to bring her in the sun and give her children, Xander can do that.”

“/What/!?” Joyce spoke out sharply in disbelief and confusion.

“Oh, I thought you knew since you knew a- . . .” Angel started, then suddenly backed up in fear.

Joyce stepped forward with long sides, her face burning with anger, hissing, “*What* *did* *I* *know*!?”  Angel was pinned against the wall, Joyce right in front of him, looking up slightly to look him into the eyes.

Leaning back away from the blazing woman, Angel blurted out, “She said she didn’t want to choose, that if men could have harems, she could to.  I agreed; she still needs to convince Xander.”  The blazing anger of a righteous mother could burn brighter than the sun; did he feel any sizzling pain, see any smoke, was he burning up painfully?  Luckily, no - not yet at least.  With a tiny voice he added, “Please don’t kill the messenger.”

Joyce’s eyes were narrowed and then took a step, and said with a growing prideful smile, “Actually . . . apart from you being a corpse that isn’t such a bad idea at all, if she can pull it off.  In fact, I’d say it’s brilliantly emancipated.”

Angel blinked and looked if his death had been postponed; it certainly seemed that way. “Still leaves the corpse though,” Joyce said less enthusiastically, looking at Angel.  “She says you love her?  Is that true I wonder?  More importantly, do you love her enough?”

“I broke up with her, but it didn’t last, she pretty much didn’t take ‘no’ for an answer,” Angel explained.

“She’ll have no other choice if you leave,” Joyce pointed out calmly.

Angel shook his head, and said, “Then I can’t help her, can’t help them.”

Joyce smiled a normal smile, and said flatly, “You /can’t/ help her.  The only ones of her friends not yet stronger than you, soon will be.  Not long after that, you’ll only be a hindrance.”

Angel lowered his head, and Joyce said, “Ask yourself this, Angel.  Do you obsess over her, do you just want to have her; or do you love her enough you’d like to see her play with her children one day?  As opposed to Xander playing with the kids while she keeps her skin pale in your darkened room of the house.”

Joyce then turned and walked toward the door, “I’ve said my piece, Angel.  I will see what you decide, I hope you make the right decision soon.”  She opened the door and walked out, leaving Angel to brood over her words.

*****

Ah, the plot thickens, eh?  Forces start to align on opposite sides; but this is all just the beginning.  You see, we found that one of our dearest friends had a secret; a dark one, although there wasn’t much she could have done about it.

*****

Jenny stepped into her classroom, and noticed from the corner of her eye a man sitting in one of the student benches.  “I’m sorry, sir, but class starts in just a little while; if you wish to talk to me, you should come back in two hours, when I have a free period,” Jenny spoke going over to her desk and readying her notes for the class.

“Have you forgotten who you are, Jana?” the man spoke and rose from his place.  Jenny looked up shocked, and took the man in.  He was in his fifties, wore a dark coat, had an equally dark head, and had an almost completed greying beard and mustache.  “Do you think you’re Jenny Calender now?  Have you forgotten your responsibilities to the clan?”

“Uncle!?  Of course not Uncle,” Jenny or Jana spoke in shock.  “Angelus remains in torment from his soul.”

“Does he?” the man spoke sharply, getting closer, “The old woman has seen his guilt and pain lessen.  She says soon he might not feel it at all anymore.  Do you call her a liar, or incompetent?  This is bad, he /must/ retain his pain.”

“Why?  He is doing good here, he’s helping to keep the Hellmouth locked,” Jenny asked her uncle.

“Jana!” her uncle spoke with a vicious tone, “Do you think the few people he saves atones for killing our brightest most beautiful daughter?  Let alone all the people who touched her life?  He’s a monster, and he must suffer for all eternity.  We do not care about his hopes for redemption.  It is not justice we serve, Jana, but vengeance.”

“I know that, Uncle,” Jenny answered him with annoyance, walking from behind the desk in frustration.

Her uncle turned around to continue facing her, and said, “Vengeance is not what these modern people think of it; and idea, payback.  Vengeance is a living thing, it transcends generations, it commands, it kills.  Vengeance must not be denied.  The curse demands his pain.  If he would gain true happiness even for only a single moment . . . then the soul we gave him will be taken from him.”  Jenny looked shocked at the revelation, “Is there anything that could have resulted in his diminished guilt?”

Jenny stopped her pacing and looked at her uncle suddenly, and told him, “There’s a girl, the Slayer.”

“You didn’t keep them apart!?” her uncle demanded.

Jenny looked back to the exit to make sure the students hadn’t arrived yet, and answered, “Yes, no.  She’s in love with a boy, they’ve shared intimacy.  Her love for Angelus is waning, she knows he isn’t right for him . . . there shouldn’t be . . .”

Her uncle stepped very close to her, “Make /sure/ they stay apart.”

“I will, uncle,” Jenny answered.

*****

Early morning, next day

Yawning Buffy entered the kitchen, where she found her mother.  “Buffy,” Joyce spoke with a big smile.  She went over to her daughter, shook her hand, and hugged her close.  “Happy birthday.  Seventeen years.  Wow.”

“Thanks, mom,” Buffy said with a smile and then they broke apart.  Buffy looked at the table and noticed the candles, several cards were around her plate, next to which was a pile of steaming pancakes on a plate.  “I knew I smelled something delicious.”

“Your favorite,” Joyce said with a smile as Buffy wrapped herself in her arms once more, thanking her.

Buffy then quickly sat back down, and opened the first card as her mother sat next to her, and took a pancake for herself.  “From Dad!” Buffy said with a huge smile.  Joyce nodded. “Fifty dollars too; ‘Happy birthday, Buffy.  I love you; I wish I could be there, so money will have to do instead of a gift.  I’ll visit as soon as I can, love dad.’”  Buffy turned her head to her mother, and said, “A better gift I can’t imagine coming from dad, he’d probably buy me a big teddy bear or something.”

Joyce smiled at her daughter, and said, “You’ll always be his little girl.”

“And I’ll milk that for all it’s worth,” Buffy returned with a smirk, and Joyce laughed.

“Did you like spending summer with your father?” Joyce asked Buffy.  She finished putting strawberry jam on it, and then started to eat it.

Buffy nodded, “Apart from the big ol’ Master depression.”

“Yeah, your father was worried about you when he dropped you off,” Joyce said remembering.  “I should have seen what was going on with you a long time ago, and him too.”

“Oh, mom,” Buffy said with a lower voice.  “Don’t beat yourself up over it.  Nobody else sees the darkness; it isn’t like you saw nothing where everyone else does.  I should have trusted you and dad with the whole gig, and just shown you in person; it isn’t like you can deny I have super strength and put me in an asylum after I’ve tossed you two over my shoulders and marched you off to the cemetery to dust a vamp right in front of your eyes.”

Joyce chuckled, and said, “I think during the marching I’d be worried about what the neighbors would say.”  The two Summers women laughed hard together.

“You proved you can handle this whole thing, mom.  I so often wished I had the guts to trust you with it; so often I didn’t know what to do, and I just wished I could come to you or dad for advice.  You’re the best mom ever, and my friends parents prove that’s not a exaggeration,” Buffy said with a sad smile.  Buffy hugged her mother again and held tight.  “Of course, then we might not have moved here, and I wouldn’t have met Xander and Willow, Giles, and strangely enough Cordelia . . .”

“Not Lotion?” Joyce asked playing devil’s advocate, and breaking the hug.

“Nope, definitely not a problem not meeting the girl that beat me up several times and whose goddess jinxed me for all eternity,” Buffy answered and then grinned.

Joyce smiled back.  She frowned, “Goddess?”

“Yeah, I hadn’t told you that yet?  The Amazon goddess decided to welcome us in the tribe during the ritual, like seriously wigging worthy, especially since Deo and Lotion didn’t know either,” Buffy said, while her mother looked at her with wonder.  Buffy proceeded with opening the cards.  Several uncles and aunts from both sides of the family had sent their cards as well.  Buffy smiled and then took her first pancake, and gobbled it up quickly.  Joyce started eating her next pancake, and Buffy took another one also.

In no time at all Buffy had eaten the pile of pancakes away, and gave a satisfied, “Aah, that was delicious, mom.”  Her mother looked perturbed at the empty plate.  Buffy smiled, and said, “Slayer appetite, I burn a lot of energy.  I don’t have to hold it back from you anymore.”

“I suppose not,” Joyce said, and then grinned, “I just hope you don’t eat through our mortgage payments.”  Buffy smiled sheepishly.  “Which means we come to my present; I’m afraid that, like your dad, I couldn’t come up with anything as a gift except the corny.  I wish I knew what a seventeen-year-old these days would want.”

“I know, you said last year we could talk about it in a year,” Buffy said with enthusiasm. “A licensed driver needs something to drive.”

Joyce’s smile faltered a little.  Concerned she got up, taking her plate with her, and when she reached the kitchen sink she asked, “Do you think you’re ready, Buffy?”

Buffy’s eyes widened, almost hearing her mother asking the question in a double voice, here . . . and in the dream.  “What did you say!?” she asked quickly.

“I said,” Joyce said, turning back to face Buffy, bringing the plate along.  It slipped over the incline at the end, and Joyce lost her grip on the plate as she said, “Do you think you’re ready?”  With a loud noise the plate shattered.

Buffy looked at the shattered plate on the floor, piece of it still flying around with abject horror.  The sound had seemed horrifyingly loud, almost deafening.  Her gaze stayed locked on the pieces of the plate, as Joyce said with annoyance, “Oh, shoot.”

Her mother’s words jarred Buffy from her shock.  She looked at her mother terrified for a moment, and then bolted from the kitchen and the house.  “Buffy!?” Joyce called after her, glimpsing the terror on her daughter’s face.  She contemplated going after her, but decided against it.

*****

Buffy barged into the school at full gallop.  Much faster now than months before, she almost slammed into people.  “Sorry,” she said hastily as she barely maneuvered around a girl.

“Hey, Buffy!”  Buffy ignored the call and barged into the library.

“Giles!” she called out worried.

Giles appeared from behind a book case, reading a book.  “Hmm?”

“It happened, just like in the dream!” Buffy called out, as behind her Willow in a pair of tight jeans and a green tight top and Lexa in a short black skirt and red top entered behind her.

“What happened?” Giles asked for clarification.

“Mom dropped something, it shattered - the same thing happened in the dream, and she said the exact same thing for real as in the dream!  It’s starting to come true!” Buffy almost yelled fearfully.

“Well,” Giles said and paused for a moment, “I suppose that means we need to step up our efforts at figuring out this dream.  I suggest Buffy, that we start with sitting down, and you write down the dream in as vivid a detail as you can manage.”  Buffy nodded enthusiastically, at same time dreading reliving the dream in her imagination, and went over to a library table. Giles came down from the second level to start searching through the ledger for books he might need.

When Buffy was almost to her destination, Willow called out, “Buffy!”  She and Lexa quickly walked over, and Buffy turned around.  “I know this doesn’t exactly sound as nice now but, happy birthday!”  Willow hugged Buffy close, and Buffy hugged back.

“Thanks anyway, Willow,” Buffy said heartfelt, and broke away, managing a weak smile.

“Ack!” Buffy exclaimed as Lexa put her in a tight bear hug.

“Happy birthday, Buff,” Lexa told the Slayer.  Buffy still hadn’t quite gotten use to ‘Buff’ coming from a female voice, but she was glad she could hear it now.  Lexa broke-the-crushing-but-satisfying-to-both-girls hug, and she said, “I didn’t bring any presents to school because I figured Snyder would just take it away from you.  I’ll come by later with them.”

“Presents?” Buffy asked, perking up a bit despite the dire situation.

“Sure, and don’t forget, we’re here to help with the pesky Slayer dream.  Don’t worry, we’ll beat it, as usual,” Lexa reassured Buffy with a grin.

Buffy smiled and relaxed a bit.  Then she hugged both of them, and said, “What would I do without you guys?”

*****

So we did more research, and decided to have the party anyway.  After all, we’d be in danger more often, so if we start to stop the parties, we’d never have them again, eh?  Party might loosen us up, and recharge our batteries, allowing us geniuses to save the day. Buffy went home for her birthday dinner, and we left to go to the site of the party - a nice warehouse Giles managed to rent for the occasion - leaving Jenny behind to get Buffy to us.  All well and done, once Buffy had had her dinner and was off to school, her mother joined us quickly.  Now all we had to do was wait for Buffy...

*****

The warehouse was filled with a nice ‘Happy Birthday’ banner, as well as a pool table and a second table full of treats.  Xander and Willow had come together, as had Oz and Cordelia who were getting more and more into each other.  Giles, Joyce, Lotion, and Angel were present too, and all had found places to hide: under tables, under sheets.  Angel was standing behind a pillar, and listening to sounds coming from outside.  There were some footsteps, the sound of an engine running and being turned off.

Then he heard something he couldn’t figure out why anyone would say that.  “Why is it that whenever I see you, you’re stealing something?  You really need to have that looked after.”

He could swear it was Buffy, but the warehouse had a solid steel wall, so even with his vampiric hearing it was difficult to make out the voice.  Following were sounds of battle. “There’s something wrong,” Angel said with some surprise.

Willow, with her makeup expertly done, but her hair barely touched, spoke with a little annoyance, “She’ll be here-”

The windows in the front of the warehouse shattered and three vampires came flying through it, landing on their backs and asses.  The whole group got up from their positions and watched as Buffy somersaulted in after them, and staked two at once with the stakes she held in both of her hands.  With a quick maneuver the remaining vamp was up and ready to flee, but Buffy kicked him back.  A moment later he was dust as well.

Angel took a few steps to Buffy in disbelief, and the Slayer turned to him, stakes at the ready.  She stopped her movements just in time.  “Angel!  What are you . . .?” Buffy trailed off and took in the surprise party.  Buffy blinked once, and then smiled, “Oh, did you guys do this for me?”

“Surprise,” Xander remarked dryly, dropping a piece of something he’s absentmindedly found in the old warehouse.

Jenny came walking in holding a heavy crooked box.  “Somebody help me?  They dropped this,” she said as she walked over.

Angel quickly took the box and placed it on an empty free table in front of the pool table. “What is it?” Joyce asked confused.

“Well, you can open it, here’s a lock,” Buffy said with a confused look.  She flipped the lock, and then slowly opened the box, everyone leaning to look as best as they could.  Inside lay an armor-clad arm.  “Huh?” Buffy muttered.  Suddenly the arm moved and grabbed her by the throat, squeezing.  “Agh!” Buffy exclaimed, as she grabbed the arm and tried to rip it free.

“Buffy!” many of them called with concern.  Angel grabbed the arm but it wouldn’t budge.  A moment later Xander lent a hand, and the arm immediately let go at his grip, squirming in pain.  As Buffy coughed for air, Xander and Angel pushed the arm back in its box, then Giles slammed it shut and locked it.

“What is that?” Buffy sputtered out.

“It looked like an arm,” Oz remarked coolly.

“Can you say something less obvious as well?” Lotion questioned the smaller guitar player.

“She couldn’t have, she couldn’t have,” Angel muttered in shock.

“Angel?” Joyce asked the man with a frown.  “What do you think it is?”

“The Judge,” Angel said softly in shock; it really couldn’t be anything else.

“Oh, my,” Giles said, being familiar with the demon.  He wasn’t fully versed on him, but he knew it was really bad.  “And this is him.”

“Not all of him,” Angel answered.

“Uh, that’s nice, but the Judge of what?  Undoubtedly not fashion sense,” Cordelia pipped up in annoyance, wrapping her arms around her chest.

“What she means to say is; dish out the info already,” Xander clarified with some annoyance at Angel.

Giles turned to Xander and said, “The Judge was a very powerful demon.  No weapon could kill him, am I correct?”

Angel nodded, and said, “It’s before my time, but from what I was told the Judge was a demon brought forth to separate the wicked from the righteous, and burn down the righteous. No weapon forged by man could stop him, and they sent an army after him.  Most of them didn’t return.”

“They couldn’t kill him,” Giles said looking down at the arm in dread.

Angel nodded, and explained further, “They managed to dismember him though, and sent the pieces to all the corners of the Earth.”

“And now the pieces are being brought here,” Joyce muttered, shocked, and in dread. Having learned of her daughter’s night job was one thing, being suddenly part of it was another thing altogether.

“Drusilla, those were Spike’s men outside,” Buffy said with blazing eyes, taking a step closer to the group.

“I can’t believe she’d bring forth Armageddon,” Angel said more than a little shocked.

“Right,” Xander remarked sarcastically, “that with there being all these psychiatric hospitals for vamps and she checked herself in.”

“Well, we got this one now,” Giles said with some authority, “and we need to get it as far away from here as we can.”

“Angel, you need to do that,” Jenny spoke up resolutely.

Buffy looked up and said, “What about me?”

“You’re going to skip town for a few months?” Jenny asked her.

Joyce pointed out with finality at that opportunity, “She most certainly will not.”

“Jenny’s right, Buffy,” Angel said with finality, thinking he had an easy way out to boot. “They must never be able to reassemble the judge.  While I take this far away, which will take me several months, you guys need to stop Drusilla and Spike.”

“When?” Buffy asked.

“Tonight,” Angel said, with all of them looking at him.  “As soon as possible.”

*****

“You lost it?” Drusilla crowed out with distaste.  Dalton, the glasses wearing vampire, had returned to the lair empty handed.  Behind the crazy vampire sat Spike in his wheelchair, leaning his head on his right hand, looking bored.

“It was the Slayer, she came out of nowhere,” Dalton explained.

“We can’t have that, mate,” Spike drawled disinterested.  “Without her present, Dru can’t have her fun.

Drusilla made a childish growling sound, and made her right hand in a double hook.  “I-It won’t happen again,” Dalton tried.

“Not good.  Present would make mummy happy, and now I’m all bummed,” she said, and took the glasses away.  She let them drop to the ground and crushed them underneath her foot. “That was in the way, can’t make nice caves.”

“I-I’ll get it back,” Dalton quickly said, afraid of the insane one.

“Dru,” Spike called from his wheelchair, “you might want to give him a chance to get it back.  Dalton may be a bit on the stiff side, but he’s the only one we’ve got with half a brain. If he fails, you can eat his entrails for all I care.”

“Ruaw,” Drusilla said playfully to Dalton, and then made gestures.  The brainiac quickly nodded and then ran off.

*****

Later, at the Sunnydale docks

Angel and Buffy walked along the docks, Angel holding the box with the arm in it on his right shoulder.  “So, when do you think you’ll be back?” Buffy asked her boyfriend.

Angel warred with himself.  The easiest thing to do would be to lie; to tell her he’d be back in a few months, and then just never return.  She’d worry, she’d hurt, but she’d move on with her human loved one and live a happy life, because he and Buffy’s mother were correct. But no, that would be the easy way out, the coward’s way out, the way out the guy hiding in the shadows last year would take.  Not anymore though, he’d been enough of a coward, watching in the shadows while mortal teenagers risked their lives to save, among other things, his immortal ass.  It was time for a bolder path.  He placed the box aside as they reached the ship.   “I don’t think I’m coming back, whatever happens,” Angel spoke with pain in his voice.

Buffy looked up at him shocked, “What!?  No.”

“Buffy,” Angel interrupted her and took her hands, “I think you know just as well as I do, that this can’t be.  It was a nice fantasy while it lasted, but- . . .”

Tears fell from Buffy’s eyes, and she said, “No, please, I love you.”

“I love you too, but there is someone else much better suited for you waiting.  I’d share you with anyone worthy if that’s what it took, Buffy, and he’s worthy, but we’re not right for each other; you know that as well as I do,” Angel said slowly, and a tearful Buffy nodded with extreme pain.  He then reached in the pocket of his duster and produced a ring.  Buffy looked at it confused.  “This is a Claddagh ring, my people - before I was changed - gave this to someone as a sign of devotion,” he said in explanation holding the ring out for her to see.  It had a crown, a heart opposite it, and hands in the middle.  “The hands are for friendship, the crown for loyalty, and the heart . . . well, you know.”

Buffy looked even more confused and still silently sobbing at Angel.  “Wear it with the heart toward you, and it means you belong to someone; wear it the other way around, it means you have an eternal devoted friend, and your heart is still open, like this,” Angel finished lifting his right hand and showing a claddagh ring with the heart outward on his middle finger.  “I’m devoted to you always, Buffy.  Wherever I settle down to continue the fight there, I’ll send you all my contact information; just in case you ever need an able-bodied fighter.  I’ll be here as soon as I can after you call.”

As Angel put the ring on Buffy’s finger symbolizing friendship, Buffy said with trembling lips, “So, this is really it, huh?”

Angel nodded, and then two vampires from out of nowhere barreled into Buffy and kept running.  “Buffy!” Angel yelled watching as the vamps lifted Buffy’s feet off the ground so she didn’t have any leverage.

She managed out a strangled, “HEY!”  But the distance to the dock’s edge was too short; before she could do anything else, Slayer and two vampires dropped down to the water.

Another two vamps jumped from behind a few crates and slammed feet first into Angel, who staggered back.  Just as Buffy managed to dust a vampire a moment before she and the remaining one slammed into the water, another vamp zipped across the docks, grabbed the box and ran.

“Buffy!” Angel yelled in frustration, beating aside one vampire.  The other one knocked him back with a right cross.  Angel blocked the vampire’s next punch, pulled a stake from his coat and slammed it home.  The vampire dusted, and Angel turned to the other one, who ran off after the vampire that had taken the box.  “Damn it!” Angel hissed, and walked to the water side.

“Buffy!” he called out, and then the Slayer broke the surface.  “The vamps!?”

“Dust!  The box!?” Buffy returned.

“They got it,” Angel said with guilt in his voice.

“DAMN IT!!”

*****

Oh, yeah, they got away alright!  Box gone, and insane Drusilla having another part to her collection. Are you starting to get yet what I mean with things going bad, Ranma?  Well, you ain’t seen nothing yet, pal.  In a surprise turn of events, Joyce decided she was going to help with the researching; demanding it as a motherly right.  Of course the only thing we found was ‘can’t be killed, took an army’, it started to get old really quickly.  Anyway, Buffy fell asleep, and had herself a nice prophetic dream, which she woke from a few minutes later.  That is where things went really, really, really bad...

*****

“I know where Drusilla is,” Buffy announced after blinking the sleep from her eyes.

“You do?” Jenny asked a little surprised.  The rest gathered around.

“She’s in a factory,” Buffy said with a grunt, stretching to get the sleep out of her.  “Have you guys identified any places they may bring the boxes in yet?”

Willow placed a stack of papers in front of Buffy.  “Good,” Buffy said with a smile. “Here’s the plan.  I take Angel to the factory and scout out the place; see if there’s any traps, how many we’ve got against us, and how far they are with Mr. Judgmental.  You guys go check out this stuff, and see if you can find anymore pieces and get them out of there, okay?”

“No,” Xander said concerned, and everyone looked at him.  “Buff, I think it’s better I go with you, or both of you to the factory.  I know you’re much closer to me now, but I’m still stronger than you are, more skilled than you are, but more importantly I’m a /lot/ stronger than Mr. Life-challenged over there.”

Buffy got up and walked over to Xander, and placed her left hand against his flat belly. Joyce was a little surprised her daughter was showing the affection right in front of her, even if she did know the deal.   “Xan, trust me, me and Angel can handle this, we’ll get back.  Angel isn’t human; this thing can suck your humanity right out of you and burn you down, he’ll undoubtedly last longer,” Buffy said with deep concern.  “I’m the Slayer, so I think I’ll have some protection; if he is assembled.  So let me keep you out of the way of icky sucky judges okay?”

Damn, how could he deny her now?  Especially with those big, beautiful, blue puppy eyes. He sighed, and said, “Okay, fine.”

“Thank you,” Buffy said with a big smile, and planted a kiss right on his mouth.  Lotion’s eyes twitched, Willow smiled.

“Buffy,” Joyce said with a little admonishment, although she had a smile on her face.  It was obvious who Joyce favored to be Buffy’s boyfriend.

Buffy blushed when she remembered her mom was here, so she quickly broke apart from Xander and took Angel along.

*****

“Oh, goody!” Drusilla squealed, and jumped up like a child in a candy store.

“Just a little more patience, luv,” Spike said, as they and the other vampires looked at the spectacle.  Multiple boxes had been placed together.  “Only one missing,” Spike said, as the head box was slowly moved over by a rope.  In the back Dalton took a final look at the construction, and deciding it was best to be somewhere else, he slipped out.  The head box was placed on top, and there was a light between it and the other boxes where they met.  Then two doors opened, and inside stood a blue-skinned demon with several small horns.  It was big and muscular.

“Ooh, he’s gorgeous, Spikey,” Drusilla said in admiration.

“Who,” the Judge began with a heavy voice, “has awakened me?”

“That would be us there, friend,” Spike drawled as the Judge came walking forward.

“You?” he asked and looked from him to Drusilla.  He gave a disgusted sound, and said, “You two reek of humanity.  You share . . . affection.”

“Hey, watch it,” Spike said wheeling forward and placing a warning finger against the Judge’s armor, “we are the ones who got you out of there you know, we could put you back in.”

“Is there anything you need?” Drusilla asked with large shiny eyes.

“A . . . meal, someone with humanity, to replenish my powers,” the Judge said with steadily but slowly.

“Anyone here, you can take,” Drusilla said with a happy face.

The vampires suddenly looked at each other.  “Him, he reads something called comics, bring him to me,” the Judge said with finality.

“What?” the fledgling said, as the other vamps grabbed him, glad it wasn’t them.

“I thought you could just zap ‘em?” Spike asked somewhat annoyed as the Judge stretched out his hand to the meal that was being brought to him, a meal that futilely struggled against the numbers holding him.

“I am still weak, once I have replenished my powers, I will be able to feed from a distance,” the Judge said and then placed his hand on the comic-reading vampire.  The vampire screamed as fire started around the Judge’s hand, and spread around his body, the fire being drawn into the Judge.  The Judge made a savoring sound and a moment later the vampire was nothing but a charcoaled form, which then crumbled and dropped to the floor, only to disappear completely.  The Judge took a deep breath through his nose, and said, “Ah, I can feel myself growing stronger.”

*****

Buffy and Angel snuck onto the upper level of the factory, which consisted only of walkways, that probably wouldn’t have passed an inspection back then, let alone now.  Narrow wooden gangplanks and poorly erected metal railing were the only things keeping them from falling down.

They peered over the railing and saw the vampires partying, and there, in the corner, underneath a large collection of television sets and other metal and electronics, stood the judge.  Blue, imposing, large, virtually indestructible, and very, very deadly.

“Damn,” Buffy whispered with dread.  “He’s already assembled.”

“If we have a way to strike, we better do it fast,” Angel whispered back, looking with morbid fascination at the powerful demon.  “He’s probably still weak from all that time in pieces.”

Buffy nodded, trying to think of a quick and very deadly attack they could do right now, even with their lack of resources.  Unfortunately for them, the Judge had other plans - or rather a very good nose.  He sniffed twice, and then looked up, straight at Buffy and Angel. “Damn,” Buffy said, as all the vampires turned as one to where the Judge was looking.

“Get them,” Spike ordered, and the vampires moved.

Buffy and Angel got up to leave, but there had obviously been some vamps unseen much closer to them, because suddenly several vamps came at them; from the pathways crossing their own, as well as the side entrances, one of which they had used themselves earlier.

Angel attacked the vamp on the right, while Buffy sent another tumbling over the railing with a single solid kick.  She whirled around, pulled a stake and dusted another one.  While Angel had trouble with his own, Buffy grabbed the railing as many more vampires came at them, some from below.  With a rapid twist, she turned herself around, letting the railing go with one hand, and then grabbing it again later.  Thus she made an easy arc, and with her feet out, six vamps were sent flying away.  Her primary target was Angel’s opponent though, and he too got slammed in the head.  He staggered back as Buffy landed between him and Angel. A quick move later and the vamp turned to dust.

“Let’s go,” Angel said, grabbing Buffy by the arm and pulling her the other way, as the vamps she had kicked away started to return.

Buffy looked back at the Judge, and suddenly realized something.  “Wait a moment,” Buffy said, ignoring the advancing vamps.  She broke free of Angel’s desperate hold, tore lose a piece of the railing, and then tossed it like a spear.  The makeshift javelin shot across the factory hall, and slammed somewhere just above the tv sets.  The electronics sparked as the wall of tv sets wobbled and creaked, and then the whole wall came tumbling down, right smack on top the judge.

Smiling with satisfaction, she let herself be dragged out by Angel.

Down below Drusilla gave a disappointed whimper, while Spike sighed and said, “Somebody start digging him out.”

*****

Buffy and Angel fled through the torrential downpour.  They were soaked to the bone in less than a minute, and it took them many more to reach Angel’s apartment.  The vampire led Buffy inside, and Buffy pulled off her soaked shirt, placing it on the central heating to dry. Angel followed suit with his own clothes, until they were both dressed only in their underwear, the rest of their clothes drying.

Buffy breathed heavily, as she took in the semi-naked Angel.  She took a step closer to him, feeling her arousal.  It had been a quick but intense fight, and Buffy had always gotten a slight arousal from her fights; it had to be a Slayer thing.  Curiosity entered her mind alongside a little hope.  If Angel didn’t go now, perhaps he could stay, perhaps she could have both anyhow.  But if Xander forced a decision; she needed to know, didn’t she?  She suddenly kissed him, as she gently turned him toward the bedroom.

“Buffy,” Angel managed breathlessly, trying not to give into his own urges, “We can’t do this; I’m not staying remember.”

“Shh, we’ll handle that later, right now is just now.  Don’t think,” Buffy whispered as she pulled him along.  They came past a closet just to the right of the bedroom, and Angel opened it with one hand, fishing a few towels from the place.  They dried each other off on the way to the bed, kissing constantly, and then fell on the bed.

“You certain?” Angel asked.

“Very,” Buffy replied, and pressed against him, stroking his cool body, while his fingers moved over her heated one.

“Oh, Buffy,” he muttered between kisses and turned her over, so he was on top.  He kissed down her neck to her breasts, much to Buffy’s delight.  He kneaded them, kissed and licked them.  Buffy moaned, and he went further down.  Worshiping her belly button for a while, he then raised back up, covering her fully with his body.  He kissed her on the mouth, while stroking her body with his hands, already aware of his painfully straining member.

He moved between her legs, and gently slid in.  “Oh, god,” he moaned, and then kissed her again.  Buffy, for her part frowned for a moment, but with both their eyes closed he didn’t see that.  Their bodies undulated, working together.  Buffy’s hands were around his back as Angel steadily increased the tempo.  Having found a good speed he continued, kissing Buffy deeper, while his hands explored her body, her breasts.  Minutes passed as Angel made love to Buffy, and he came closer to his completion.

“Oh, Buffy, I’m gonna . . . I’m gonna . . .” Angel said, restraining himself.

“Me too, me too,” Buffy whispered in his ear.  “Go on, Angel, do it,” she groaned.  Angel sped up his pace, Buffy along with him, increasing the tempo of her counter pumps, and the pitch of her moans.

Finally with a low groan Angel came, shooting his dead seed in the teenager’s moist passage.  Buffy moaned out, give a quick shriek, and then Angel collapsed gently on her. “Hmm,” Buffy said, and gently turned Angel over on his back, lying against him.

“That was amazing,” Angel muttered, and Buffy gave him a nod.

Buffy peeked out from her eyes, and as her heart hammered in her throat she noticed Angel closing his eyes.  After a few moments, she turned away from Angel, faking a lazy, sleepy turn.  She opened her eyes, and then closed them again, breathing deeply.  She eased her breathing steadily, thanking Xander for mediation techniques; as she steadily slowed her fearfully pounding heart.  This way she them found sleep quickly.

A few minutes later, Angel suddenly gasped, and stumbled out of bed with the pain he unexpectedly felt.  Disoriented, he looked around, stumbling, falling to his knees.  “Buffy?” he whispered confused and afraid, finding a way to stagger onward.  “What’s happening?” Angel said slowly, continuing onward and knowing not why.  Naked he staggered out of the apartment into the alley behind, and the still pouring rain.  He staggered a few meters, before falling to his knees.  “Buffy,” he groaned out one last time as his eyes glowed orange.

*****

You paid attention to the part where Jenny’s uncle arrived?  Then you’ve guessed right, Ranma.  The unthinkable happened, okay, actually it would be a I-told-you-so moment for me, but you know what I mean.  Of course, just because the most horror-inducing event in the world happened, and a large load of bad stuff because of that, doesn’t mean the Judge is going to give up killing all of humanity.

~~~~24~~~~

Buffy opened her eyes, and looked around herself skittishly.  The moment she realized Angel wasn’t in bed anymore, she sighed with relief and bolted out of bed.  She quickly went into the other room, and put her relatively dry clothes back on.  She then opened the door, and ran out, as fast as she could.

*****

Buffy made a beeline to school, running through the early morning sun.  With her Slayer speed, it didn’t take her long to reach the school.  She barged into the still empty building, and banged through the library doors, and skidded to a halt.

“Buffy!” Xander exclaimed happily, as the rest made similar sounds.

Buffy quickly scanned the room, realizing suddenly who would be here, but then came to a relieved realization that her mom wasn’t here - a moment later the relief switched to concern. “Where have you been?  We’ve been looking all over,” Willow asked with relief.

“Uh, hiding . . . while fleeing, the Judge is active.  Mom?” Buffy asked concerned, while keeping a tight grip on the emotions boiling inside her.

“I thought it prudent to send her home,” Giles spoke with a measured tone, as Jenny grabbed his waist obviously to both lend share relief and get some comfort.  “Your mother may be an amazing mother and housewife, I’m afraid when it comes to slaying or researching she’s a bit below adequate.  Angel?”

“Uh, we got separated, I’m certain he’s fine though,” Buffy said.  Which was technically true, they got separated as she bolted out the door like a classic case of male fuck and get gone.  He was most likely still in the shower expecting a sleepy but satisfied Buffy to greet him as he returned - a wave of guilt washed over her.  “No need to go look for him, he’ll call soon . . . I suppose we go looking for a way to destroy this Judge thing.”

“I suppose we do,” Giles said, with a pained voice and then turned to ones that trusted him to help come up with a solution.  “Heavy research time,” Giles said, frowning at how bad things had gotten.

Buffy frowned herself, pain filtering for a moment across her face, and she said, “Giles, I’d like to borrow Willow for a bit, if you don’t mind.”  Buffy didn’t wait for an answer, simply grabbed Willow by the arm and started dragging her off.

“Y-yes, well . . .” Giles managed before he turned to the remaining ones.  Jenny, Xander, Lotion, Cordelia and Oz.  “Research, start getting out the books people, we have a long day ahead of us.

“Or a short one,” Cordelia commented with annoyance as she got up and started moving to the back to get books.  She blew a hair away from her face, hating how the night of no sleep had ruined her hair, and no doubt complexion - she hoped she had heavy duty make-up with her to cover the bags under her eyes she undoubtedly had.

*****

Buffy pulled Willow along and then up the stairs.  Halfway to the mid point Buffy sat down, and Willow slowed as well.  “Foo, what is so important, you almost pulled my arm out?” Willow asked concerned, and sat down.  Her clothes were crumpled, and her hair was a mess; another victim of the Hellmouth.

Buffy hesitated for a moment, gripping her knees with the intensity of her emotions.  Then she turned her head to face Willow, and with a single tear escaping from her left eye, she told Willow, “I had sex with Angel.”

“Oh!  Ooh . . .” Willow started enthusiastically, before the still pained face of Buffy overrode her original excitement of the big step.  “I take it didn’t go so well?” she tried with a small voice.

Buffy sighed, sucked something non-existent in, and then several more tears sprung from her eyes.  “Oh, god,” she sobbed, out, and Willow wrapped her arms around her best friend quickly.  Breaking down, Buffy returned the hug and cried on Willow’s shoulder for a good twenty seconds.  She came back to herself, sniffing, and said, “Thanks.”

“So what happened?” Willow asked softly.

Buffy sniffed, gathered up the courage to say it, and said, “Angel’s a corpse - a demon-animated corpse.”

“Well . . . yeah, we knew that, didn’t we?” Willow asked confused.

Buffy sobbed, and gave herself two disparaging laughs.  “I knew that, I just didn’t /know/ that,” Buffy said, feeling hollow inside.  It hurt as she expounded, “I never quite grasped that.” She sniffed deeply again, “Corpse, body.  I just ignored the cool lips; even took thrills in them you know; look at me, I can be all huggy and kissy with my supposed enemy.”  Buffy stayed silent for a moment, a teary eyed Willow continuing to hold.  “But with the sex, definitely not ignorable, especially having had the real thing.  With Xander - and I’m sorry to bring it up . . .”

“Don’t worry,” Willow whimpered, crying along with Buffy, feeling her pain and sadness.

“There was heat, and passion, and sweat, and everything was . . . like this powerful unstoppable . . . volcano erupting, you know?” Buffy whispered, and she choked again, making a hiccup.  “He was cold, Will, cold and clammy.  And there was no good sweat smell, I didn’t fell his heart pounding, I didn’t feel his blood beating through his veins with passion for me.  There was just . . . nothing there . . . nothing but a corpse, and all I could think was, yuck, eew, yieh.”

Willow saw the pain in Buffy’s eyes, and whispered, “Oh, Buffy.”

Buffy broke down in crying sobs again, hugging Willow tighter.  The witch hugged back, and decided to keep the pain of Buffy’s slayer strength squeezing a bit too hard to herself. Buffy cried on Willow’s shoulder, inside a maelstrom of emotions.  Willow made soothing noises, hugging Buffy closer as she went through her ordeal Slowly she resurfaced, taking her breath made her nose sound like a mud-sucking machine.  She lifted her face off of Willow’s wet shoulder, and said, “I faked my orgasm to get it over with, Will.”  Willow’s eyes went wide.  Buffy gave herself a few hysterical laughs, and said, “I always told myself I wouldn’t do that.  Now the guy I was so sure I was eternally in love with only a few months ago and . . . I willed myself to sleep afterwards.  When I awoke I didn’t see him, so I dressed and ran as fast as I could here.  What do I do, Will?  I don’t know what to do?”

“Buffy,” Willow said with sadness and pulled Buffy tighter into the embrace.

“It isn’t fair.  I love him, and the only thing I get now when I think of him is yieh,” Buffy muttered.  “I mean, I get it, I /really/ get it, I don’t think there is anyone who gets it as good as I do; he’s a corpse, not made for loving.”  Buffy shuddered, shaking her head.  Then she made a warding off gesture with her ride hand, as if pushing something aside to her right, and with a disgusted face she said, “There’s absolutely no way I ever want to have anything . . . physical to do with him ever again.”

“You’ll . . . have to break up with him,” Willow said with a sad smile.

“What?” Buffy asked pained, tears still flowing from her eyes, looking at Willow.  “Hey, Angel, you can’t get my engine going, in fact you can’t even get it revving, so I’m dumping you?”

“Well . . . yeah,” Willow said, hugging Buffy closer who looked at her surprised, “but with a bit more tact and euphemisms, I’m sure he would understand, I mean he broke up with you for those very reasons before.”

Buffy sighed, calming down a bit, but still painfully said, “Yeah, he broke up with me again last night; said he wouldn’t be coming back once he hid the arm.”

“There, see,” Willow said, and gave Buffy a soothing kiss on her forehead, on her scruffy hair.  Willow was always curious, and now no less so, so she asked, “What do you think would have happened if you . . . well . . . hadn’t had Xander?”

To Willow’s shock, Buffy broke down and cried against her now soaked shoulder again. With several deep sniffs Buffy, forced herself to speak, “That’s the other thing . . . part of me likes to think it would be the same, but . . . I managed to delude myself and even pat myself on the back with the cold lips, and heew . . .”  Buffy tensed, shuddering in disgust, still holding on to Willow who hugged back.  The Slayer finished, “What was I /thinking/?”

“Love makes blind, Buffy,” Willow said, tightening her arms.

Buffy brought her head up, and blinked at Willow.  Willow looked surprised as Buffy’s eyes flooded with relief.  Buffy then smiled a defeated smiled and said, “Well, thank god it didn’t make me touchless and smelless.”

“I have to break up with him,” Buffy said suddenly, looking into Willow’s eyes.  “Like today, like as soon as possible.  I can’t be thinking about how to do this, and how Angel’ll react while battling the deadliest, most unkillable, most dangerous demon we’ve ever faced . . . but first I need a shower.”  Then she looked at Willow, with pain in her eyes, and said as tears started to form again, “After I spend some more time crying with you, okay?”  Willow nodded and enveloped her friend back into the hug.  Sniffing, and sobbing, Buffy muttered, “It’s just not fair.  Why did Angel have to be a vampire?”

“I don’t know, Buffy,” Willow muttered, her own tears running down her cheek again.  “I don’t know.”

*****

Yep, a triumph for mankind, wrapped in a disgusting act.  Of course, at the time I didn’t know this, at the time I was still blissfully unaware doing research on the unkillable one.  Willow returned and told us Buffy had gone home to reassure her mother and get a shower; then she’d be back.  She didn’t mention the detour she’d be making.

*****

“So,” Spike started wheeling up to Drusilla in their factory hideout, “Blue Boy is back up and about I see?”

“Nasty Slayer dropping all those tvs,” Drusilla grumbled.

“Yeah, say Dru, you wouldn’t happen to have any clue what peaches and the Slayer are up to, do you?” Spike asked her casually.

A voice sounded from behind several tubes somewhere, coming closer, “I don’t know about her, but him, he’ll take up acting on Broadway under rave reviews, while at night he continues his crusade against the darkness, for as long as evil is . . . well, rolls the streets I shall be ever vigilant.”  Angel finally came into view, clearing his path into the main hall.  He grinned evilly at Spike, while Drusilla stood behind Spike watching with wide eyes.

“You really don’t give up, do you?” Spike asked with a large smirk.

“Nope, you better keep an eye on your back, Spikey,” Angel said, while his smirk didn’t once waver.

Spike grinned, and said, “Yeah, about keeping an eye on your back.”  Spike pointed behind Angel.  Angel turned around and there was the Judge, who placed a hand against his chest.  “Feel it burning, Angel?”

  After a moment he turned his head, and told Spike, “Well, it kinda tickles.  Perhaps he’s broken?”

“What are you waiting for?  Burn him already!” Spike ordered the Judge.

“I cannot,” the Judge said, taking his hand away.

“Whot!?” Spike exclaimed in surprise, Drusilla behind him looked in wonder.

“He is clean, there is no humanity in this one,” the Judge intoned with finality, and then turned away.

Angel snickered, and looking at Spike and Dru he said, “I couldn’t have said it better myself.”

“Angel?  Is that really you, old buddy?  The non-soul-having mayhem-loving version I mean?” Spike said with enthusiasm.

“Yeah, it’s me, Spikey,” Angel said with a grin walking over and ducking a bit to be with level eyes.

“Angel!” Drusilla exclaimed with happiness, running over to him, and wrapping him in a hug.  “You’re back, daddy.”

“Oh, yeah, Dru, I’m back,” Angel said with a grin, hugging back for a moment.  “Listen, whatever you’re planning, postpone it for a night.”

“Why?” Spike asked calmly.

“Well, you see, Spike, that bitch made me feel human, and you just don’t forgive that,” Angel said with an evil grin.  “I want to have some payback first, cut her and her friends in half by the time the Judge here sucks their humanity out of them.”

“Ooh, Angel is going to do the nasty Slayer what he did to me,” Drusilla oozed out with a smile.

“Come on, Spike,” Angel said with a huge grin, “it isn’t like anyone can kill Judgy over there.”

“Oh, Spike, let him, I want to see the Slayer’s face,” Drusilla said with large eyes of glee.

Spike shrugged, and said, “All right, Angelus, you go have fun with the Slayer protected by her super friends.  You get dusted, and I’ll have a happy day as well.”

Angel glared at the smiling Spike, and said sarcastically, “Thanks, Spike, I won’t forget this.”  Then Angel turned and walked away to find the sewer entrance he’d used.

*****

Buffy sighed, standing in front of Angel’s apartment.  It was late in the afternoon; it had taken her hours to calm down her mother, shower, and get a change of clothing.  She took another deep breath to muster her courage, and entered.  “Angel?  Are you here?”  Buffy called, looking around the room, and then to the bedroom.  She walked toward it.

Behind her, in the living room section emerged Angel, his upper body naked, and he said casually, “Hey, Buffy.”

Buffy whirled around, and said, “Uh, Angel, hi, I . . . uh . . . we need to talk.”

Angel took his watch from the dresser and put it on, while saying, “Oh, no, no talking needed.  I don’t do the talking well, I don’t like to talk.”

“Oh,” Buffy said, frowning, but inside in trepidation how to break his heart.

Angel got a black blouse and went to put it on, saying, “Listen, I gotta run, do some stuff, see the world and all that.”

Buffy’s eyes widened, rising up with the relief her heart that flooded her heart.  “Oh, yeah?  Well, yeah, I suppose it was me,” Buffy said, thinking she was stupid a 240-year-old guy would notice she was faking it, and was highly uncomfortable.

“Oh, no, you got a lot to learn about men, kiddo,” Angelus spoke with a gleeful grin, anticipating the destruction.  “You were good, hell, you were a pro, your pimp Xander taught you well.”

*WHAT!?* was Buffy’s thought, shock running through her body.  Did he really just? And here she was thinking about how to let him down easy.  Rage suddenly suffused her being, and she said, “Oh, yeah, I faked it like a pro alright.”

Angel’s easy evil smile faltered, shock blasting on his face, and he said, “WHAT!?  No-no, you didn’t fake anything!  No woman needs to fake it when I’m on the steering wheel!”

“Oh, I’m sorry, Angel,” Buffy said sarcastically, still very pissed, “but while I was grunting and moaning, all I was thinking was, ‘Eew, he’s /really/ a corpse, all cold and clammy, and I’m damn certain the difference between limp and erect was /much/ bigger with Xander, must be that missing heart beat I’m not sensing - anywhere.  Oh, my god, somebody get this icky thing off me so I can go to Xander’s home and get the finishing touch from a /real/ man.’”

By now, Angelus was practically ready to explode.  His face was contorted with rage, and he said, “You filthy fucking slut!  I’ll show you real man!”  He lunged forward, and Buffy easily grabbed the punch and twisted him aside, crashing him against the wall with his arm twisted behind him.

“Oh, I get it.  This whole sweetheart act was still there the second time around, huh?” Buffy told him pissed off, while Angel growled with rage on his face.  “I get it now, I was stupid to think the guy who would let me die before admitting he didn’t know CPR actually gave a damn about me.  I applaud you, you had me going magnificently.  Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me.  So because of that, I’ll let you go.  When we’re done with the Judge, leave Sunnydale, and I’ll call you when we need a sacrifice in a ritual to stop the next big bad.”  Buffy then tossed Angel across the room.  She took the claddagh ring from her finger and tossed it over in front of him.  “You can keep that,” she said, and stalked out of the apartment.

From his position on the floor Angelus stared with mounting rage at the front door.   “THAT BITCH!” he suddenly raged out, vamping out.  “NOW THIS IS SERIOUS!!”

Buffy was long out of earshot.  The moment she knew Angel couldn’t see her anymore, her cool had broken and she had run with everything she had.  After a minute she slowed down, and broke down.  Sobs burst forth from her, as new tears flowed down her cheeks.  She grabbed her stomach and sank into a squat.  “Oh, god, oh, god,” Buffy told herself, squinting her eyes closed.  “I’m sorry, Xander.  I can’t believe I fell for it.”  In her mind’s eye she tried to picture how Xander felt being forced to share her with that bastard, with what he knew was a bastard; a bastard demon-animated corpse.  Xander’s momentary look, when she pulled away from his female form filtered in her many.  Pain and guilt coursed through her as she cried, unable to comprehend how royally she screwed up.  She could kiss a cold corpse, while she couldn’t even momentarily handle Lexa.  So she wasn’t gay, or bi, but she could still have just broken the kiss gently, and get some warm water.  She couldn’t believe just how badly she screwed this up.

*****

“Can’t be killed, took an army, can’t be killed took an army . . . AARGH!” Lotion exclaimed with frustration.  “I vote we just go down there, and start kicking ass.”

“That would not be a prudent action at this point, Lotion,” Giles said with a measured voice, reading in a book as he came down a set of stairs.  “Even if we’d get close enough to hit the Judge, with or without a weapon, the hit would allow it to burn the humanity in you.  Most likely though, he’ll have burned you before you’re even halfway to him.”

“Well, this officially sucks,” Cordelia commented angrily.  “Great, just staring to become good enough I don’t have to run and scream like a girl, and I’m demon chow anyway.”

“I think that’s taking things a little too pessimistic,” Giles said carefully.  Cordelia looked at him with narrowed eyes.  Giles quickly looked down, not willing to take the chance Cordelia would manage to make him fess up what he really thought.

“We’re gonna kick its ass, that’s for sure,” Xander said flipping a page.  “Trust me, we’re not going to die now.”

They all looked up at him, but he continued reading, and flipped the next page.

*****

I didn’t even realize I said that.  Before I would have tossed off a lame joke, and although there are times for lame jokes, and I love to make them, there are times when a joke, lame or not, is just... lame.  I suppose I got you and your father to thank for that.   You must have noticed I wasn’t exactly Mr. Confident before I met you guys...

*****

Then...

The Chinese grass plain stretched out before Xander as huffed and puffed to continue onward. In front of him were Genma and Ranma Saotome.  Genma was in a brownish gi barefoot, while Ranma was in green pants, a red shirt, and traditional kung fu fighting slippers. Ranma’s, a black-haired boy, had a characteristic pigtail that started at the back of his head, where his neck started, and lead down a short distance, to just below the shoulders.  Xander in contrast was in the clothes that the Jusenkyo guide had managed to scrounge up: in short far too big dark brown pants and shirt.  The slave outfit he had worn when he arrived her he had tossed in aside in disgust quite a bit ago.  “I can’t go on!” Xander finally complained, and bent over, leaning on his knees.

Genma and Ranma turned around, and casually running in place they looked at Xander. “Ha!  You stand!  You run!” Genma exclaimed in broken, accented English, although he was getting better.

“Yeah, come on, Xan, no give up now!” Ranma added with a grin.  “You got much more give, come on.”

“I’m tired,” Xander complained.

“Xan, trust me, I was there,” Genma took over from his sun with a proud smile.  “I proud you go this far, but you go many farther.  Have strength, have faith, trust me.”

Xander looked at them, almost disbelieving.  Nobody had ever told him he could be good at anything, nobody ever told him he had much more to give.  Okay, maybe his mother had when he was little and she was still relatively sober, but that was a long, long time ago and she sure didn’t do so now.  Then he straightened up, looking more determined, and started running again.  Ranma and Genma started running along with him again, a little slower than before so they wouldn’t outrun Xander again; so the American had two people to drag himself along with.

An hour later they reached camp, and Xander dropped to the ground, sucking in deep breaths, and coughing, spitting out slime his mouth had produced.  “See, boy,” Genma said with a huge grin.  Xander looked weakly up at the man, and the approving smile.  “Now you no onward.”

*****

Xander blocked Ranma’s punch, and had his legs swiped from under him at about the same time, followed by a roundhouse kick to his face.  He was flung through the air a meter before landing painfully on the soil.  A little further on was a tent, and a man sat at a fire.  “Argh, I can’t do this,” Xander muttered.

“Kami, Xan, not this, not that,” Ranma exclaimed with some annoyance and amusement. He offered his hand and Xander took it.  As he pulled Xander up, he said, “You stop that. You good, really good.”

“What are you talking about?  You guys keep kicking my ass,” Xander said in annoyance feeling his aching behind.

“Years and years of training,” Ranma said with a huge grin.  “You much better average after this much training.”

Xander looked at Ranma with disbelief.  “No lie, you good,” Ranma said with a smirk. “Natural, almost natural as me; might be challenge one day.”

There was a grunt and a grumble and Xander and Ranma looked to Xander’s right.  A big panda nodded and had a sign in the air, saying, ‘Ranma right.  Xander good.’  He put the sign in his fur coat and pulled out another one, ‘Proud.  I have two sons now.’  The panda made some acknowledging grunts as it nodded, while Xander couldn’t believe it.  His own father sold him to the Chinese mob, and here was a man thinking of him as a son, and apparently loving him, and thinking highly of him, believing he was good at something.  The same went for his surrogate brother.  Nobody had every thought highly of him, even his friends who loved him and didn’t consider him a screw up had ever considered him /really/ good at something. The panda put the sign away, and pulled out a new one, ‘Sons get food, I’m just panda.’

“Pops!” Ranma yelled and then ran forward.  The panda’s eyes grew wide as Ranma came in with a flying kick, doubling the panda over as it flew back with the impact.  Ranma walked over to the fire where the guide had almost finished boiling a kettle of water.  Ranma grabbed it and tossed the kettle away.   The kettle and its contents splashed on the panda.

Instead of the panda, there instantly was a man screaming, “YAAAAAHHH!!!!”

“Go get your own food, you lazy bastard,” Ranma told him, as the man jumped up and down in the hope he wasn’t too burned.  Xander laughed out loud at the spectacle, while the guide went over to retrieve the kettle with a sigh.

*****

Left block, right block.  “Oof!” Xander exclaimed as a solid kick slammed into his stomach and he was launched backward, to land painfully on his ass.  He flipped up back to his feet, and grinned at Genma, who grinned right back.  “Yah!” Xander yelled as he charged forward, and attacked with everything he has.  Genma blocked a few hits, and then to his surprise got a solid punch across his left cheek.  With a quick move he made use of Xander’s over extension and swiped his legs out from under him.

“Ah, overextend,” Genma spoked down at Xander.  Then grabbed him and pulled him up in a bear hug, before locking his head underneath his shoulder.  “Ranma!  You see this amazing guy!?  He at your level soon!”

Ranma who was leisurely sitting on a tree branch grinned, and said, “Only because chi of possession, and Hellmouth!”

“Whoa!” Genma exclaimed as he was lifted up, and then dropped down as Xander let himself fell backward.  “Oof!” the both of them said, but Xander had the least.

He got up and said with a grin, “American wrestling.”

*****

Anyway, where were we?  Oh, yeah, Buffy had just told off Angelus, and we were still stuck on the unkillable one.  Suffice it to say, Angelus was not a happy camper, no sir, not at all.

*****

“I need a break; for one thing, I need to pee,” Xander muttered, bleary eyed from reading through books for too long.

“Me too, actually,” Willow muttered, and Lotion looked up at the two for a moment, but then continued with her book.  The two old friends got up from their respective positions at the table, and walked out of the library.

Willow watched as Xander craned his neck, and his bones audible snapped into place. “Ah, I spent way too much time looking down,” Xander muttered in annoyance.

“Yeah, me too,” Willow said, rubbing her neck.  “Xan, you really think we can beat this thing?”

“It’s just another demon, Will,” Xander said as they walked slowly toward the bathrooms. The lights were mostly out, and since the sun had just gone down it was dark.

“Yeah, but this one can’t be killed by any weapon made by man, and it took a whole army to take him down last time, most of them didn’t survive,” Willow muttered a little fearfully. “The army of our time would send us to the loony bin before they’re going to fight a blue demon.”

Xander frowned, as something tried to filter into his consciousness, but then a voice interrupted.  “Willow, Xander.”  The two teen looked up and saw a silhouette standing there.

“Angel?” Willow asked a little surprised.

Xander frowned as Angel stepped a bit more into the light of an outside lantern filtering through the door’s windows.  “Yeah, I found a way to kill the Judge, but I need everyone’s help.  Xander you go find the others, while Willow you come over here for a bit, I need to talk to you?”

“Me?” Willow asked, taking a step forward.

Angelus nodded saying, “You and Jenny are going to be the key; we’re going to need magic.”

Willow smiled taking another step when Xander’s hand was in front of her chest stopping her.  “Don’t/back,” Xander/Jenny said.  Willow turned and frowned, seeing Jenny emerge behind them.  Xander gave a quick look back.

Xander took a step forward in front of Willow, and said, “So, that soul-having thing, didn’t work out for you, huh, Angel?”  Jenny looked surprised.

Angelus’ face fully entered the light and just as Willow was about to question Xander she heard the vampire snicker evilly.  “So, you know, huh?”

Xander gave him a smile, and said, “Before there was something . . . human, something soully about you.  Now you’re just ink black.”

In a side corridor was Buffy, having arrived back at the school herself.  She listened with large eyes at the conversation.  Back at the apartment!  She wasn’t fooled after all.  Angel somehow lost his soul.

“Well, that’s rather annoying,” Angelus said, and turned around to leave.

“You think I’m just going to let you walk out of here?” Xander asked with a grin, taking another few steps forward.  Finally he got to legitimately do what he’d wanted to do for a long time.  There was no way Buffy could fault him for dusting a soulless demon.

Angelus turned back, he shrugged, and with an evil grin he said, “Well, I don’t know; you let Buffy get away after you taught her being a slut is good.  I know you /really/ taught her well, damn she’s good in the sack.”

Xander snarled and started to burst forward.  Buffy quickly jumped from her side corridor and stopped Xander.  “Don’t,” Buffy pleaded, while Xander looked with an enraged face at the snickering Angelus, “he wants you to attack angrily, so you’ll make mistakes.”

“I don’t think, Buffy, he’s got the strength, skill, or speed to capitalize on any mistakes I might make,” Xander growled.

“Take a step back, Xander,” Willow pleaded from behind him.  “Do it level headed.” Xander cooled down a bit.

Angelus laughed, and looked directly at Xander.   “You think so?” Angelus grinned evilly, and grabbed a fire extinguisher.  With a vicious slash he ripped open the pointy end.  White gass burst forth from the hole and then he tossed the thing at them, while turning around and running away.

“DUCK!” Buffy yelled, even as Xander grabbed her, and dragged her into a classroom to their left.  Willow and Jenny ducked to the floor.  A moment later the extinguisher slammed into the ground and exploded mightily, sending shards of the metal case flying everywhere and half covering the corridor.

Buffy and Xander came back out, and took in the devastation.  Then they ran back, yelling, “Willow!”

“I’m fine,” a coughing voice sounded, and the found her lying on the floor.

“Jenny?” Xander called after making sure Willow was safe and in the hands of Buffy.  He quickly found Jenny as the others filtered into the corridor from the library.

“What the bloody hell?” Giles asked and then ran over to Jenny.

“I’m fine,” Jenny said, reassuring Giles with a pat on his arm.

“What happened?” Cordelia asked looking around the corridor.

“A vampire paid us a visit,” Xander muttered sarcastically, turning around toward the toilets and then walking off, saying, “Let’s put it to you this way.  Bye, bye, Angel, hello homicidal maniac Angelus.”

“Good lord,” Giles said as Cordelia turned to look accusatorial at Buffy, who looked away pained.

“Huh, wonder how that happened,” Oz remarked casually.

“I gotta pee,” Willow complained and sped off to the girls’ room.

*****

A short while later everyone was in the library.  “This . . .” Giles started, trying to find the right words.  “This isn’t good.”

“Duh,” Cordelia said sarcastically, “could you be any more obvious, Giles?”

“Well,” Giles said in answer, resetting his glasses with apprehension, “of all the things I could have thought could go wrong, Angel switching teams wasn’t one of them; it unbalances things.”

“And they weren’t unbalanced before?” Willow asked, making everyone look at her. “With the whole unkillable thing,” she clarified.

“How did you know it wasn’t, Angel, Xander?” Giles asked intrigued.

“Sixth sense thing,” Xander said, sat down more comfortable and explained, “some time after I started training with chi, I’ve found I could sense it a bit.  I’ve gotten better at it over time.  I can sense the difference between the chi of a demon and that of a person.  Angelus had nothing left of the person.”

Buffy frowned and turned to Jenny.  “How did you know?”

Jenny looked at her, surprised, and then thought of a lie.  She could probably pull of the same reason Xander had given with her magic and magic sense, or . . . she could tell the truth. She rubbed her hands, and then looked up at the groups expecting gazes, and settled on Willow, her new apprentice.  The girl that had come to surprise her, and had come to care for so much.  She had beaten Deo’s messing with her, and hadn’t let the magical power consume her.  She couldn’t lie anymore, she just couldn’t.  She looked down again and with trembling lip said, “My name is Jana Calderash, of the Calderash clan, the gypsy clan that cursed Angel.”

Slowly she looked up, and looked at the faces of the people she’d started considering as friends, and one lover.  They looked surprised, and then on several of them grew betrayal. “You knew!” Buffy accused.  “You knew!  How did he . . .?”  Buffy trailed of when she saw Jenny looking at her.  It couldn’t be; it couldn’t be.

“I didn’t know,” Jenny muttered miserable.  “You have to believe me, I was sent here to keep an eye on Angel, to make sure he didn’t lose his soul.  My uncle arrived yesterday, and I was only then told why.  The curse had a way out; happiness.  True happiness, even for only a moment, and the soul is taken from him.”  She looked at Buffy guiltily and said, “When you didn’t return, I started suspecting.”

“You bi-” Buffy started with a growl, readying to get up.

“Wait, wait, wait, wait!” Xander suddenly called out pissed off and confused.  “Exactly what happened last night that didn’t happen the months before that could have- . . .”  Xander suddenly stopped and remembered what Angel said.  He shot a look at Buffy, and Buffy looked at him, guilt filtering her gaze and she kept it trained at hi.  Her heart broke, when she saw momentary revolt on his face, and he whispered, “He didn’t lie, did he?”  Buffy looked down, and Willow sitting next to her slung an arm around her shoulder.  “Fuck,” Xander said, and then gripped the arm rests of his chair.  Giles pulled the glasses from his nose and started furiously cleaning them.

“Huh?  What?  What’s going on?” Lotion said uncomprehending.

Cordelia looked from one to the other, and suddenly comprehension entered her being. “Eew, you did it with a corpse!?  Ew, ugh, that’s just . . .”

“You . . .” That’s how far Lotion came, the usually chatty Amazon just looked with disgust at Buffy.

Buffy was suddenly fed up with it.  “I /know/!  Alright?” Buffy exclaimed both angry and pained.  “I *know*! You think /you’re/ disgusted!?  Try being me; I actually did it.  It was disgusting, it was eeeewww!”  Buffy sat there shuddering as the memory returned again.  “I was stupid; I know already!  I didn’t take the corpse thing as a biggy, ‘cause walking, and I should have.  I should have!  It was cold and clammy, and there was no blood pumping, and ugh.”  Buffy squinted her eyes at her disgust.  “So will you all please quit with the berating of me, I’m doing enough of it myself, let’s just figure out how to destroy the Judge and worry about the rest later.”

“Ah, yes, yes,” Giles said, putting his shiny clean glasses back on his nose.  “I believe that would be a good order of things . . .”

Buffy’s anger had taken a dip with her guilt and disgust, but it quickly flared back into rage.  “Except first, out!”  Buffy looked at Jenny and pointed at the door.

Jenny looked around the room, and saw Willow look down.  Xander just stared ahead with a tight face.  Lotion glared at her.  Cordelia was never the strongest with the friendly feelings, and Oz obviously stuck with his girlfriend.  Jenny finally settled on Giles, and the man turned away, obviously pained.  Jenny’s heart broke, and she slowly got up.  Halfway to the library exit she turned around, and muttered, “I’m sorry, I really am.  I didn’t know, and I was just sent here.”

Jenny turned back and continued onward.  “WAIT!” Buffy called out suddenly, and Jenny turned back.  “You said your uncle was here?  Can he recurse Angel?”

Jenny shook her head, “The magics were lost a long time ago.”

“The vampire doesn’t know that,” Lotion observed coolly.  Everyone turned to her, and then they bounced to their feet.

*****

The door opened and the gypsy turned around.  “How did you get in here?” he asked, backing up.

Angelus grinned, and said, “Funny thing that, hired motel rooms don’t work.  The owner has to invite me in only once.”  Then he vamped out.

*****

The extended Scooby Gang looked around the room.  Entrails and blood were everywhere. Two words were written in blood on the wall, ‘Too late.’

“Uncle,” Jenny whispered painfully.

Buffy swallowed.  She didn’t like the guy who hadn’t told Jenny, her, and everyone else months in advance about the curse, in fact she kinda hated him, but he didn’t deserve death - and she was for a good part responsible for it.

Willow turned away, and said softly, “L-let’s just go.”

*****

“FUCK!  GOD DAMN IT!  THAT BITCH!” Angel raved, kicking an empty box, then kicking a pipe as he entered the factory.  “‘Faked it like a pro.’  RRAARGH!!”

Spike came rolling into view from a side way, while further on was the main hall, and snickered.  “My, what do my ears hear now,” Spike spoke with a huge grin.  “The great Angelus can’t make the bint that’s in love with him come.  What’s the matter, /Angel/?  Not big enough for her?”

“Fuck you, Spike!” Angelus hissed out in anger.  “She doesn’t like a cold, clammy corpse, you wouldn’t have gotten anywhere with her either.  Besides, it was Soul Boy that couldn’t perform, not me.”

“Oh, doesn’t matter,” Spike spoke with a huge grin, “I would have succeeded.”  Then he laughed out loud, and let the last one die slowly.  With his head in his neck, Spike said, “Oh, this has got to be one of the best days of my unlife.  Soul Boy is gone.  The great Angelus turns out to be a pussy in bed.  And tomorrow an unkillable demon is going to burn the thorns in my side to ashes.  If it weren’t for this wheelchair . . .”

Angelus was fed up and was in Spike’s face instantly, with a warning finger, he snarled, “Watch it, Roller Boy!  You’re carefully close to making me do something drastic.”

Spike’s grin only deepened, and he called, “Yo, Judge!”

The big blue demon got up from his sitting position in the main hall, and faced Spike and Angelus.  “Yes?” he said.

“I know you can’t burn this wanker down, but can you still beat him up the old fashioned way and put a stake through his unbeating heart?” Spike asked with a huge grin.

“Of course,” the Judge answered him.

Spike looked back at Angelus still in close.  The brunette vampire’s face twitched once, and then straightened up and stalked off grumbling.  Spike turned his wheel chair and snickered watching Angelus walk off.

Drusilla appeared behind Spike, and said, “You weren’t very nice to daddy, Spike.”

Spike angled his head back, looking up at Drusilla, and asked gently, “Did you want me to be, pet?”

Drusilla gave him a naughty smile, and said, “No.”  Then she bent down and kissed Spike deeply.  After that she wheeled Spike toward the main hall.

*****

So there we were.   Outnumbered and outgunned, a new day in school where I didn’t get any schoolwork done, thinking about how to solve this problem.  I used a fertilizer built explosive to kill a demon not to long before (Halloween possession, don’t ask, different story) but there was no way to get close enough without being zapped.  The rest of us were either moping, or disgusted, or pissed off, in short we didn’t get much done.  To top it off, I was distracted, very distracted...

*****

“Can’t be killed, took an army,” Cordelia muttered as the Scooby Gang slowly walked through the busy highschool hallway.  They were in two rows of three.  Up front Cordelia, Oz, and Willow, and in the second, Buffy, Lotion, and Xander.  “We’re doomed, people.  I think it’s official.”

With his hands in his pockets, Xander asked, “Is anyone else distracted by the whole; he didn’t get a true happy till he exploded his dead seed in a delectable, teenage vagina?”

The whole group turned to him.  Lotion spoke, “No, I’m just distracted by a corpse having . . . eew.”

“I get it, didn’t I say that!?” Buffy said with annoyance.

“No,” Xander answered Lotion.  “Think about it.  Mister Dead Man has a hot blonde telling him she loves him despite him being a corpse, and even kisses him.  I know I get true happy moments kissing Buffy, and even when kissing you other three, and not offense, but I think you know Buffy’s on top and you’re a step below.”  Xander finished his little speech while the others looked at him.  What he just said filtered through his brain, and he quickly added, “Kissing Cordelia is in the past of course, Oz, am not messing with your girlfriend.”

Oz coolly nodded, answered, “Got that.”

“Well, I don’t know, he did have to get past the big I-was-an-evil-torturing-killing-machine guilt,” Willow pointed out, feeling the need to protect Buffy a bit, trying to make her choice not seem even worse.

Xander pondered it for only a moment, and said softly, “Wouldn’t that make a simple “I love you” or kiss even /more/ of a happy?  I know if I was a murdering bastard for over a century and got my soul; the thought of sex with anyone let alone a young girl wouldn’t even filter in my mind.  A simple loving despite the monster or a kiss would already be the pinnacle of perfection and amazement to me; hell someone trusting me and considering me a friend might even do it.  But Angel had to have sex first.”

Oz gave a nod, and Willow looked back to glare at Xander, and then looking sympathetically at Buffy.  “Yeah, I screwed up,” Buffy spoke up a little annoyed, pained at her decision.  “I got dazzled by the looks, by the gifts, and by the idea of a strong, vampire, star-crossed forbidden lovers romance, and all that.  It’s not going to help us stop the Judge.” They reached the Library and turned to enter it.  Buffy turned to look at Xander after the doors closed behind them, and she asked, “Say, those explosives aren’t forged now are they?”

“Except we can’t get close enough without getting burned,” Xander replied to her.  Giles, who was behind the counter attempting to read a book, looked up and pinched the bridge of his nose in attempt to stay awake.  Xander continued, “And none of us can carry enough for an army to make sure we’re going to take him along with- . . .”  Xander trailed off, eyes a little wider.

They all looked at him, and Willow tried, “Xander?”

“Sh!” Xander bit her off, and then said, “I’m having a moment, no an idea, wait . . . I have a plan!”  A big feral grin crossed his face, and he said, “Oh, yeah, the Judge is going down, boy is he /ever/.”

“Really?” Giles asked him.

“I’m gonna need some help though,” Xander said taking in the four girls and guy, “first some wheels with loading capacity.”

“Van,” Oz commented with a small point to himself.

“Great,” Xander said with a grin, and then he looked at the other girls.  Cordelia was Oz’s girlfriend, Buffy was most certainly not feeling sexy, and neither was Willow who seemed to be feeling with Buffy.  “Lotion, you’re the second part of the plan.  I’m gonna need you to wear something very . . . slutty.”

“Slutty?” Lotion asked both surprised and a little darkly as she looked down at her curve-hugging Chinese top that reached to just her ass, and the tight knee-length pants underneath.

“Ah, Cordelia, could you dress our tasty worm on the hook for worm duty,” Xander asked with a grin at the brunette, taking her in.  She was dressed in skintight pants, and a very low-cut blouse.  “Kinds like what your wearing, only just a bit sluttier.”

“Hey!” Cordelia said only half-angry as she folded her arms across her chest.

“I feel the need to chivalrously, and perhaps chauvinistically protect my girlfriend’s honor, except I can’t find the words,” Oz said and so he settled on glaring at Xander, which lasted all of half a second before his neutral face returned.

“Tough to argue with the truth,” Buffy added in with a smirk.

“This coming from the necrophiliac,” Cordelia returned hatefully.

“Oh,” Willow said and quickly hugged Buffy comfortingly.

“Exactly what is your plan, Xander?” Giles asked a little confused.

Xander grinned at Giles, and said, “I’ll dazzle you with my brilliance later.  Oz, you and the girls gotta pick me up at seven, no sooner, and no later.”

*****

Xander looked outside his apartment, and saw the rain splash down.  “Damn,” he muttered, and then shrugged.  “Actually, I can work with his.”  He went over to the sink and splashed water on his face.  Lexa smoothly stretch back, pushing out her chest in the process.  She grinned down and said, “This is actually going to be better.”

She went into the bedroom, and took off Xander’s clothes, putting them in the laundry bin.  She opened the closet and took out a pair of g-string lacy panties and matching bra.  She quickly put the panties on, pulling them up snugly and then put on the bra.  Next was a white blouse, which buttoned closed only to the start of her breasts.  It was low cut that way, straining over her ample chest, and low enough to just show off a small part of the lacy cups of the bra.  A tight thigh-length green skirt followed, and Lexa tucked the blouse it, making it hug her form a bit more.  She zipped it up, and got out a few medium heels and put them on. Finished with the dressing, she went over to the mirror.  She got out a pink lipstick and applied it to her lips.  After pressing her lips to a paper handkerchief she took in her dark eyes.  She then pulled her hair back, and put it in a pony tail, tying it off with an elastic.  She winked at herself, and gave a kiss.  She went back to her closet.  She quickly got the military cap she had worn on Halloween and put it on, pulling her tail through the opening in the back.  The finishing touch was her leather jacket which she left open half-way so her cleavage stayed on display.  She looked in the mirror again, cupping her breasts for a moment, and winking at herself.  “Oh, any guard that I come across won’t know what hit him,” she told herself and gave herself a kiss in the air.

There was the sound of a horn, and Lexa went out the bedroom again.  She snatched her keys from the kitchen counter and checked the time.  “Nicely on time, Oz,” Lexa said and sped to her front door and exited.

A bit later she reached the building’s entrance, and went out, running as fast as she could through the rain to Oz’s van who was waiting on the street.  The side door slid open, revealing lotion and Lexa quickly jumped in.  Lotion slid the door shut and as Oz and Cordelia looked back, Lexa took in the amazon.  Lotion was wearing a tiny pink top that pushed up her breasts, and the sleeves went all the way to the wrists.  It left her belly button bare, and beneath that was a short loose skirt that draped smoothly along her legs, and barely covered her ass.  A pare of leather fuck-me boots completed the ensemble.  A brown jacket protected the Amazon and her outfit from the elements, and it, just like Lexa’s, was only partly closed.

Lexa smile and turned around to look at Cordelia.  “Nice, Cor, really nice,” Lexa said with a grin.

Cordelia rolled her eyes, and said, “Did you expect anything less?”

“I feel like I’m on display,” Lotion half-complained.

Lexa turned back to Lotion and smiling disarmingly she said, “That’s the point, and it’s a nice feeling huh?”  Lotion raised her eyebrows.  Lexa turned back to the front, and asked, “Oz, do you know the local army base or do I have to give you directions?”

Oz raised his eyebrows, and said, “No, the Dingoes once had a gig there.”  He turned the wheel and pressed the accelerator.  The van slowly started to move.  Oz looked back for a moment, and the corners of his mouth quirked just a bit at Lexa.  “It’s fascinating that a guy can turn so completely into a girl, and I don’t mean the body.”

Lexa winked at him as she said, “Well, I /am/ one hundred percent girl.”

“Stop flirting with my boyfriend,” Cordelia shot Lexa a glare.  “And you too, mister, no flirting.”

“Yes, ma’am,” Oz said and his eyes twinkled as he looked at Cordelia.  The cheerleader folded her arms across her chest and sank herself further down in the chair.

*****

The van slowed down at the back end of the military base, which was surrounded by a chicken wire fence.  “Okay, here’s the plan,” Lexa said with a smile.  “Lotion, you follow my lead, and act clingy.  As in, you want me.”

“I can do that,” Lotion said with a grin.

“Good, then you two wait here,” Lexa added to Oz and Cordelia.

“Wait here?” Cordelia asked dryly.

Lexa shrugged and slid open the door, then helped out Lotion.  They were wet with the rain quickly and maneuvered through a hole in the fence.

“So,” Oz started, looking from the window to Cordelia, “you guys often steal weapons from the army?”

Cordelia grinned at him and said, “Well, there are only so many reruns of The A-Team you can watch before you have to try it yourself.”

Oz smiled a bit.  Cordelia looked around and said, “Kinda romantic isn’t it?  All alone, lovely rain sound, big military base?”  Oz grabbed her chin and pulled her head to her left, to face him.  A moment later his lips touched hers and their tongues met.

After bit they broke apart and Cordelia looked with large eyes at him.  He said, “You’re amazing, and you have so much depth.  Don’t be afraid to keep it hidden.”  Cordelia swallowed heavily.

Outside Lexa muttered to Lotion, “Security is horrible.  I should write a letter.”  The two slowly proceeded alongside a rather big shack.  On the other side of the little clear path, lay all kinds of things stacked up.  Lexa went closer to the shack and peered through the window. She grinned when she found they had the right one right away.  Steadily they reached toward a door.

“Halt!” a voice called and a soldier in rain uniform appeared.  “Who are you?  What are you doing here?”  He aimed the machine gun in his hands at the girls.

Lexa smirked and took two seductive steps forward.  “I’m Petra Verdun, I’m with the 33^rd.”

“The 33^rd are on maneuvers upstate,” the guard said with suspicion, moving his gun so he held it with his right, the calf pressing into his upper arm and the gun pointing up.

“I know,” Lexa said with twinkling eyes.  The rain made the material of Lexa’s blouse clingy and almost see-through; causing the guard’s eyes to be drawn to her breasts shown off in a magnificent outline.  “I’m on leave,” Lexa said.  “Listen, could you cut me some slack?” She walked up to the guard and pushed her body against his conspiratorially, and incidentally very erotically.  “I just caught me this hot chick, and come on . . .” Lexa nudged him, smiling sexily and knowingly, “a stud like you should know how they get turned on by the big guns.  I just took her here for a little R&R, if you know what I mean.  No harm, no foul?”

“I-I don’t know; being gay- . . .” the guard said, his resolve weakening as Lexa rubbed her breasts up and down his chest.

“Oh, I’m not gay; I just like to experience a woman’s body now and then as well.  I’m sure you can relate,” Lexa purred with a grin.  “She’s a bit skittish.  Breaking in is stressful for her.  But I’m sure after a while I’ll have her loosened up enough for a . . .”  Lexa pushed herself more against the guard, and whispered seductively in his ear, “. . . threesome.”  Lexa pulled back a bit, and putting a finger on her lips she added, “Ssh.”  She made a gently gesture with her head toward Lotion, while she let her right arm drag down, and made a ‘come’ gesture to Lotion with it.

Lotion came over, swaying her lips and her cleavage, and said softly, “Petra?  Are we in trouble?  You said you wouldn’t get us into trouble?”  Lotion was right behind ‘Petra’ now, putting her hand on the soldier girl’s body to gain strength and comfort.  Her eyelids blinked at the guard.

The guard swallowed as she looked from one to the other.  Both girls were amazingly hot, one with heavy make-up the other with a light touch.  The military pony tail in the cap, contrasting with the amazing feminine get up, along with those amazingly kissable lips turned him on to no end.  Then the second, just as amazing breasts and cleavage, drenched in rain, and a short skirt that threatened to reveal the girl’s ass with just a bit of a flick.  Lexa put her lips along his face and to his ear again, whispering softly so Lotion couldn’t hear, “Possible threesome, or I can throw on report for dereliction of duty, you should have been here - and a stud like you really shouldn’t hold his gun like a wimp, breaks the image.”

The guard coughed, taking a step back.  He put the gun in a more manly position, and said softly, “Sorry, for the misunderstanding, carry on, ma’ams.”

Lexa backed away, pulling Lotion along, and threw the guard a kiss before he turned and walked off.  The two women than returned to the door.  “Ooh, that was fun,” Lexa said with a smirk at Lotion.

Lotion shook her head, saying, “Too easy.”

Lexa smiled at her and pulled two metal things from her jacket, and started working on the lock with them.  “Do you really think girls get turn on seeing big guns?” Lotion asked watching Lexa work.

“How do you feel seeing a big, beautiful sword?” Lexa asked her as the door clicked open.

“Hmm,” Lotion said with a grin as they walked inside, placing her arm around Lexa’s waist.

“There you have your answer,” Lexa said softly, smiling as she walked onward to find what he was looking for, Lotion kept her arm around her waist as she continued onward.  Lexa looked down, and asked, “You don’t have a problem with me being a girl?”

“Why would I?  I see future husband shining through girl easily, and I’m an Amazon.  I was raised to be comfortable among girls,” Lotion answered Lexa lightly confused.

*****

The door jingled and slid open.  Cordelia and Oz hastily broke apart, and looked as Lexa and Lotion placed several cases inside.  “Got everything you needed?” Oz asked smoothly.

Lexa smiled at him, with knowing eyes and said, “Sure, and a few little extras that might come in handy one day; how was the kissing?”

As Lexa and Lotion joined the crates into van, Cordelia complained, “I’m so glad we broke up, or I’d be the girlfriend of a juvenile delinquent.”

“As opposed to being friends with two, a girlfriend of one, being one, and friends with several accomplices?” Lexa returned the remark to Cordelia smoothly.

Cordelia made a frustrated sound, and said, “Oz, just get us out of here.”

*****

In the weapons cage of the library Lexa, Giles, Buffy and Willow stood.  Buffy looked with curiosity at the military issue green crate in front of her.  “Okay, so show the plan already,” Buffy said eagerly.

Lexa unlocked the crate and opened it, showing a rocket launcher.  “Ooh,” Buffy said, with large shiny eyes.

“Whoa,” Willow said in surprise.

“My Lord, Xander, how did you get that?” Giles asked shocked, then looked at Lexa with an admiring face.

Lexa grinned, and told him, “I don’t think you want to know.”  Giles nodded and went to clean his glasses.

“Okay,” Buffy said with a huge grin.  “Show me how to work it.”

“Why?” Lexa asked the Slayer.

Buffy whirled to face her best male friend, and said, “What do you mean ‘why’?  How else am I going to blow up the Judge.”

Lexa grinned ferally at Buffy, and said, “/You/ are not going to blow up the Judge.”

“Huh?” Buffy asked dumbfounded.

“What?” Lexa told her with twinkles in her eyes, supporting her breasts with her arms wrapped under them.  “You think I came up with this plan, did all the work getting the rocket launcher, and then let /you/ have all the fun?  Hell no, /I’m/ blowing up the Judge.”

“But . . . I’m the Slayer!” Buffy protested with large eyes of a child screaming ‘unfair’. “It’s my job, my /destiny/ to blow up demons with rocket launchers.”

Lexa grinned down at the smaller girl, and said, “I don’t care.”

Buffy whirled to face Giles, and said, “Giles, tell him.  Tell him, I get to blow up the judge with the shiny new weapon.”

“Ah, well, I don’t think that’ll help much.  Plus he has a point, he did go through all the trouble,” Giles said diplomatically.

“Uh,” Buffy said, with sad puppy-dog eyes, making Giles turn away with guilt.  Buffy turned onward to Willow, and said, “Willow, bestest friend, please tell Xander to teach me how to blow up the Judge.”

“Lexa, you should teach Buffy how to blow up the Judge,” Willow said, and Buffy happily turned around with a smug look at Lexa.  Willow continued, “in case you get hurt, someone else needs to fire that thing.”

Buffy’s happy smug look faltered.  “You have a point, Will,” Lexa said with a grin.

“This is /sooo/ unfair,” Buffy complained, and gave a deep sigh, “I get all the burdens of being chosen, and the one, the /one/ time that being the Slayer means I get to do something fun, and I don’t get to do it?  Why me?  Why can’t I do the fun things of being chosen as well?”

“Ah, cheer up, Buffy,” Lexa said with a smirk.  “I promise the next demon that needs blowing up with a rocket launcher, I’ll let you do it.  Now pay attention.”  Buffy gave Lexa a dark look, before moodily paying attention.

*****

Wow.  Me and girls, Ranma, like Superman and kryptonite.  I would never have had the guts to do the above before, not to any girl, certainly not Buffy.  Buffy was this grand dame and hero that I could never reach.  Talking to them with cool was out of the question.  No matter how often I might have tried to chase after one, I always turned into a blubbering idiot trying to get the words out okay, let alone sentences, unless I was making fun of myself and making myself look bad, for some reason those always came out okay.  But that changed once I got me a female body, not to mention that last night in Hong Kong, remember?

*****

Lying in a bed in a two bit motel room in down town Hong Kong, Ranma looked over at his snoring father, then back up at the ceiling again.  Xander lay in third bed, and Ranma suddenly said, “You know, Xan, tomorrow me and pops are going back to Japan.  You’re going home not long after.  We should do something on this last night together.”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know . . . how about we check out a nightclub, go dancing, show me how to pick up some girls, never done that before, and I need to do something manly,” Ranma said with a grin and then turned his head to Xander.  Xander had just audibly gulped and looked like a deer caught in the headlights.  “What?” Ranma asked.

“Uh, well, uh, I may have, uh . . . exaggerating the girls thing . . . uh, a bit,” Xander sputtered out, and Ranma’s eyes brows rose questioningly.  “I’ve chased a lot . . . just never picked up one.”  Ranma laughed.  “You’re not mad at me?” Xander asked surprised.

“Why?” Ranma said with a grin and suddenly got up.  “Then it’s definitely time to go pick up a girl for each of us.”

“Wha!?” Xander managed sitting up.

“Yeah, let’s go,” Ranma said resolutely and walked to the exit door.

“We can’t do that,” Xander said frantically.  “We’ve got nothing to wear.  I just got these Chinese country clothes, and you your standard fighting getup.  We’d be laughed at.”

“We beat them up,” Ranma shrugged with cool confidence.

“I mean the girls,” Xander said with some annoyance.

Ranma made a throw away gesture, and asked, “So?”  Xander looked shocked as Ranma’s reaction.  Being laughed at by girls was like, was like the end of the world.  “It isn’t end of the world, in fact no big deal,” Ranma told him, opening the door, and Xander looked at him with wide disbelieving eyes.  “We simply go to next one; we’re good looking, well-trained guys with muscles where the average girl don’t think muscles could be.  Sooner or later one is going to recognize we’re hot; and see past a bit of clothing.”  Xander looked with disbelief at Ranma; that’s not the way one approached a girl . . . or is it?  “Come on, Xan, you sit there moping all night, or we go have some fun?”

“Okay,” Xander said, awkwardly coming to a stand and walking over to Ranma.

*****

“Are you certain about this?” Xander muttered as he and Ranma stood in front of a bar and dancing.  They were only a two places away from the bouncer, and Xander was having second thoughts.

“It’s just a bar, that may have some girls, remember?” Ranma whispered to his newfound friend with a confident smile.  “They can’t hurt you, they can’t beat you, the men in there can’t either unless you’re so unlucky there’s a super martial a- . . .”

Xander’s hand was slammed over Ranma’s mouth, and he said, “Don’t say it.  With my luck, you say it, there /will/ be someone like that inside and I /will/ piss him off somehow, he’ll kick my butt.”

The line moved forward, and now there was only one group between them and the bouncers.  Ranma said, “You have to lighten up.  We’re not on your Hellmouth, you know.”

“Just being certain,” Xander said, and the line moved forward again.

The bouncer with arms the size of oak trees it seemed took the two of them in, took them in again, and then laughed out loud.  “You guys can’t be serious, you actually think you can get in here, looking like that!?” the bouncer exclaimed.  “Get out of here.”

Ranma glared for a moment, then smirked, grabbed the guy by the side of his collar and casually lifted him off the floor with one hand.  “I didn’t quite hear you there,” Ranma said with a smirk.  “Could you repeat that?”

The bouncer looked down at his dangling feet, gulped, and said, “Go right on in, not a problem.”

“Thank you,” Xander said as Ranma put the man down, then entered the club.  “I can’t believe you did that,” Xander hissed at Ranma as they entered the loud club, with a lot of flashy lights.

Ranma shrugged and said, “Hey, he was impolite, if he were polite I would have moved on.”

“You Japanese guys are real sticklers for politeness, huh?” Xander asked the less tall guy.

Ranma shrugged.  The first girls rejected them stone cold, and as Xander attempted to take it hard, Ranma just shrugged and pulled him a long.  The next to girls was the same thing, and then another pair.  The fact that Ranma didn’t seem to care one little bit started to rub off on Xander.  Then they came across two girls, who couldn’t resist the intrigue and mystery of two hot guys, one American and the other Asian, seemingly Japanese, dressed like last century’s news in a flashy club.  The Hong Kong girls themselves were lookers, beautifully Asian, one wearing a lovely dress, the other a top and skirt.  One was called Chun, and the other Jia.

After a little talking one of them finally couldn’t resist anymore, and asked Xander and Ranma, “Okay, you got to tell us, why the hell are you two dressed like that.”

Xander was ready to falter at the apparent new rejection, but Ranma said with a casual grin, “Oh, couple of friends we recently met bet us we couldn’t get a few girls to spend the evening with dressed like this.”

“Nice friends,” Jia commented with a little sarcasm.

Chun then asked, “So how did you two get in here dressed like that?”

Ranma grinned and moved his right sleeve up.  He flexed his muscles and said, “Lifted the impolite bouncer off floor with just this arm, he suddenly became very helpful.”  Jia smirked as she let her eyes linger on the sexy, muscular arm.  Xander looked a little shocked as Ranma’s casual indifference to what the girls might thing.

Chun always had liked tall white guys, loved the Hollywood movies, and so she smirked at Xander and asked, “You as muscular as him?”

Xander looked at her shocked for a moment.  She was flirting with him, definitely flirting with /him/.  SHE WAS FLIRTING WITH HIM!  His brain kicked back in gear, and said, “Y-you tell me.”  Xander lifted his arm, and looked nervously at it and Ranma who had lowered his.  Ranma grinned and Xander pulled the sleeve of the drab two-piece clothing back, and flexed his own arm.  To his shock muscles visually flexed.  He /knew/ he had grown muscles over the past few months of course, but it was still a shock to him showing it to a girl.

“Definitely,” Chun almost purred, her eyes glued to the arm.  Xander turned his head to look back at her, and couldn’t believe a girl was ogling him like he so often ogled girls.  There had to be something wrong here.  Girls didn’t ogle did they?  Certainly not him if the remote possibility existed they did.

Suddenly Ranma whispered in Xander’s ear as he was still pondering the mystery, “Lower arm, before she jumps you right here; unless you like that.”

Blushing a little, Xander quickly lowered the arm and the sleeve.  Chun looked disappointed a moment, and then the look in her eyes became more sensual when she noticed Xander’s shy blush.  All those muscles and sensitive too.  “So, Xander, what does an American here, having a Japanese friend,” Chun positively purred.

God damn!  What to say now?  There was no way they’d believe the truth.  Xander flickered his gaze at Ranma who gave him a big old, daring smirk.  Ranma really didn’t care. Ranma was right, what if they /didn’t/ believe him, who cares?  A slight smile filtered across Xander’s face, and he said, “My pop sold me to the Chinese mob as a sex slave, I escaped.  I’m stuck here till my newly issued passport and bank cards arrive.”

“Really?” Chun asked with a chuckle.  Xander could see she didn’t believe him, but apparently she didn’t care all that much.  Going with the story, she asked, “A sex slave, huh?  I can see that, I wouldn’t mind have you as one.”  Xander couldn’t fight off the blush, making Chun laugh delectably.

“And what’s your story, Ranma?” Jia asked the other martial arts master.

“My pop dragged me here for a training exhibition,” Ranma said with a smile.  “Came across him, fleeing from the mob, asking for help.  Not that he’s a wimp or anything; they outnumbered him twenty to one and had guns, he was entitled to need some help.”

“A great knight, huh?  You’d help me too?” Jia asked Ranma, and he smiled at her.

“Of course,” he said as she came closer and then they kissed.

Xander was dumbfounded when he found himself in the same position, but quickly went with the flow.

Fifteen minutes later they were out in some alley, making out with the girls.  Suddenly they were sprayed with something wet from above.  The girls continued kissing for about two seconds.  They stopped the kiss, but kept their lips pressed to the newly formed girls, and moved their hands up to the front.  A moment later they cupped distinctive breasts where there was a manly chest before.  Their eyes flew open, and they took in the brunette girl and the redhead.  “AAAH!!” they screamed, taking three steps back, and then promptly fainted.

“That went well,” girl-Xander commented, and then looked over to the newly red-haired girl-Ranma.  Ranma chuckled.  “Seriously,” girl-Xander said, “better than I thought possible.  I actually just made out with a girl.  Me!  Alexander Lavelle Harris!  And dressed like this.”

“Yeah, face it, Xan,” the high pitched voice of girl-Ranma sounded, as she stretched out. “Girl or guy, we’re hot, we’re studs.”

“You’re food,” a sinister voice commented.

Xander and Ranma looked at the end of an alley were a whole pack of vamped out vampires stood, some ten in total.  Ranma smirked, placed her right fist against her left open palm, and said, “Ah, and a good fight to finish the night.”  She turned to girl-Xander, and said, “Shall we?”

“You got it,” girl-Xander answered and they charged the pack of vampires.

The vampire looked shocked at the two attacking girls, and more so when the first fists hit with such force to break jaws and sent some of the crumbling to the ground, and one even flying right at his comrades.  “Slayers?  Real?” one vamp said with fright.

“Wasn’t there only one?” another vamp commented before getting pummeled by girl-Ranma.

The edges of waste bins were used as decapitation tools, and not long after the dirt in the alley had grown a little taller.

“We better get them home,” girl-Xander said pointing at the unconscious girls.

*****

That was an amazing, eye-opening night, Ranma, but nothing like after you left.  As a girl, I KNEW I was hot, smoking hot.  I embraced that side as you know, and as a girl I could go out with complete and utter confidence.  Guys turned their heads to check me out, guys patted my ass, guys pinched my ass - after which I broke the bones in said guys’ fingers - and with the gay girls it was no different; although they were a little difficult to find in Hong Kong, is apparently a lot more a taboo in Asia than it already is in America. Seriously, you should embrace it too.  But to make a long story short; the more comfortable I could be as a girl, the more confidence I gained.  And as girls and guys tried to pick ME up, I figured out what girls like as well, meaning that I got confidence as a guy around girls even if my bud isn’t around to lift me up with his devil-may-care attitude.

Where was I?  Oh, yeah, we had ourselves a rocket launcher, so we went to find the bad guys and blow them up...

*****

With the rocket launcher hidden in a black case held by Lexa, the heavily armed Scooby Gang entered the factory, and looked around.  “Nobody here,” Cordelia commented with annoyance. “They already left.”

“Well, they can’t have gone to the Bronze, nobody there now,” Willow added with a frown.

“There’s only one place where people throng together now,” Oz said, and they looked at him.  Then they were off.

Behind a pillar sat Spike, listening in.  He had the distinct sinking feeling from their tone that they had found a way to beat the odds again.  Then he smirked, and opened his right hand. The group he had sent out had returned, and on his hand now lay a medallion and an armband.   Spike smirked.

*****

The mall; avatar of American capitalism, several floors filled with stores, and places to buy snack food on your exhausting trek to it.  And when you’re done with one, there’s most likely another right next to it.

The mall; death trap.

The doors opened admitting vampires with a blue demon Judge up front.  Drusilla was to its left, and Angelus was to its right.  A man came walking up the stairs to the exit, and the Judge simply pointed at him.  He screamed as the Judge’s cleansing fire surged into him; finding his humanity and burning him to a crisp, before disappearing completely.  The Judge took a deep breath, smiling.  He walked forward, coming to a small platform in the middle. The stairs went up, and right down.  A wooden railing kept people from falling over.  Below were throngs of people, enjoying the mall and all it had to offer.  In this case; fiery death.  The Judge smiled, and stretched out his arms, a tendril of fire surging down and into a human, then to the next, and the next, and so onward.  Quickly all the people frozen as the cleansing fire started doing its job.

“Ah!” the Judge exclaimed, and just like that the cleansing fire disappeared, making the people look around confused, and grabbing their chests in pain.  A small crossbow bolt was stuck in the Judge’s shoulder, and he looked straight ahead.  There on the other side of the mall, some twenty meters away, stood Lexa holding a case, with the others around her.  The Judge made an annoyed grumble and pulled the bolt free, his wound immediately healing.

With the Scoobies, Buffy put a new bolt in her crossbow, and said, “I still think it’s unfair I just get to fire a crossbow.”

Down below the humans just looked dumbfounded.  “What do you think you are doing?” the Judge asked to the group of people opposing him, tossing the bolt aside.  The vampires smiled smugly.  “You know no weapon forged by man can kill me.”

Lexa smiled broadly, and called across the mall, “Yeah, well, that was then.  These days we got a saying; if it first you don’t succeed . . .”  Lexa smirked, and with a smooth motion released the case, and pulled the rocket launcher up to her shoulder.  Her face was more grim now, but was still smirking, as she finished, “. . . invent a bigger a gun.”

The vampires recognized the weapon immediately, and with fearful faces jumped and ran away, while the Judge simply asked, “What does that do?”

A moment later Lexa had already pressed the trigger, and a rocket was launched across the distance.  It smashed into the Judge and exploded, sending piece of the Judge flying everywhere, and leaving only a lower leg and a foot standing.  The people started screaming and running as fast as they could.

“All right,” Buffy called with a grim smile.  “Gather the pieces and keep them apart just in case.  I’ll take Angelus, you Drusilla Xan, and the rest the stragglers.”  Lexa looked down at Buffy with an annoyed look.  “What?” Buffy asked her.  Lexa rolled her eyes and put the rocket launcher down, then they went into action.

“Gather up the pieces?” Lotion wondered in disgust.

“Right there with you,” Cordelia replied, pulling her swords free.

Buffy went down and off to her left toward Angelus, dusting a vampire on the way.  Lexa went off to her right, where she saw Drusilla.  Behind her Lotion stuffed a stake through a vampire’s heart, as the others took in the pieces of the Judge.

Oz came across an arm, and remembering what happened at the party stayed a meter away.  Pointing down at it he called, “Arm!  Here’s an arm.”

Lexa rapidly came across Drusilla.  “Hey, Dru!” Lexa called.

Drusilla turned around and vamped out, saying, “Nasty vixen.”  Then she hissed and grabbed to vampires that had accompanied her, and tossed then to Lexa.  Then she did the same with another two vampires, who yelled in fear and horror that their mistress would betray them so.  Drusilla just turned back around and ran out the exit with all her speed.

Around Lexa were screaming fleeing people.  She roundhouse kicked the first vampire that came her way, and punched aside the second.  But the third slammed into her and brought her down.  She brought her stake up and the vampire on top of her dusted, giving her just enough time to roll out of the way of the third.  The vampire groaned at the impact with the ground, and a quick thrust with Lexa’s arm reduced him to dust as well.  Lexa flipped up smoothly, and saw the first vampire charging her. Another roundhouse kick sent him back to the wall he came from, yelling in pain and anger.  Lexa charged forward to the second vampire, and slammed her kneed it in its stomach with all her might.  As the vampire doubled over she staked it.  She quickly turned back to the first, who came charging her again.  With a quick motion of her arm, while ducking and twisting away, made her avoid the vampire’s lunge and sent him passed her. A quick thrust with her stake and the vampire was dust.

Lexa then ran out the exit and looked left and right where people were running off, but no Drusilla to be seen.  “Fuck,” she cursed and sped back into the mall.

With a single punch, Angelus was staggering back till he slammed into the wall.  

The lobby with one exit and two elevators was otherwise empty.  He laughed and told Buffy, “Is that all?”

He vamped out and attacked her, missing as the Slayer easily ducked beneath his punch. Buffy danced aside, and grabbed his next punched, opening him up for a sidekick to his ribs, and making Angel groan out.  “No, that isn’t all,” Buffy hissed, and rammed an uppercut into his face, that sent him flying backward toward an exit.  He landed on the ground, and watched as Buffy drew her stake.

For a moment a little fear filtered in his eyes, then he saw her hesitate.  He snickered evilly as he got up, seeing in Buffy’s pained eyes.  “Well, well, you can’t do it,” he said dusting himself off, the duster fluttering a bit.  “Little miss Slayer can’t dust her lover.  Ooh.”

Angelus laughed, practically cackling.  Suddenly Buffy lashed out with her foot, slamming into his balls and launching him off his feet.  With a high pitched scream he flew backward and up till he slammed into the corner walls.  Hanging there for a moment he groaned, then he fell down.  “Give me time,” Buffy told him and turned around, walking away.

Angelus cradled his destroyed balls, and started wiggling toward the exit like a seal.  His high pitched squeals of pain made him sound like one as well.

Painfully Buffy returned, watching Willow pick up a piece of the judge and dumping it in a small bag.  Cordelia, Oz, and Lotion were doing the same, while Giles closed the bags and held out new ones.  Lexa came running around from the other side, and walked up to Buffy.  Buffy gave her a look that made her frown and she moved on.

“You know,” Oz said coolly.  “The arm isn’t moving, it isn’t trying to grab anyone’s neck.”  He got a piece that was half torn apart, and held it up, nothing happened.  “I think he’s actually, really dead,” he observed.

“Hmm,” Giles said.

“Oh, thank god,” Cordelia muttered, and then turned to Giles.  “Does that mean we don’t have to pick it up piece by piece?”

“Where is he?” Lexa asked sharply, and the Scoobies turned to him.  “Where is he, Buffy?” Lexa asked, and Buffy looked guiltily at him.  “I don’t see any dust, did you gather it up?”

Tears sprung in Buffy’s eyes, and she looked painfully at him, then to her other friends.  “I couldn’t do it, I couldn’t do it, I’m sorry,” Buffy whimpered.

“Damn it, why the hell didn’t you let me handle him if you couldn’t do it?” Lexa told her sharply, obviously angry, while the others looked at the exchange.

“I though I could, but then . . .” Buffy whispered, looking into Lexa’s enraged face.

“You didn’t kill him!?” Lotion shrieked in anger at Buffy.

“Drusilla?” Giles asked Lexa, attempting to keep the situation from a brawl.

Lexa flashed her eyes to the watcher and answered, “She tossed four vamps to me, literally.  She got away while I dusted them.”  Then she looked at Lotion and made a slight shake with her head.

*****

In the factory Angelus came stumbling in cradling his painful balls.

Drusilla was draped around Spike insanely babbling about the nasty Slayer and her nasty friends destroying their beautiful Judge.  Spike took Angelus in, and laughed out loud.  “So, how are they hanging Angelus,” Spike called out loud across the main hall.  Angelus turned his head and growled out loud.  “Ooh, I’m so scared,” Spike said with a smile.  “She hit you good, huh, old boy?  What’s it gonna take to heal?  A whole night?  Be glad you’re a bloody vamp, sire, or you’d be faking your own orgasms from now on.”  Spike laughed out again - Angelus in no position to attack him - he just glared.  Spike then added, “I’m almost glad the Judge was destroyed; really, Angelus, ever since you got back, I’ve had nothing but fun.”

Angelus gave a growl and then moved off to find a place to sleep and heal.  Spike just remained laughing, and Drusilla couldn’t help but snicker along with him.

*****

A while later the whole Scooby Gang was in the library.  Giles was behind the counter, and Lexa paced back and forth in front of him, from the counter to the few stairs to the second level and back.  The rest was sitting in at the tables.  The mood was depressing to the say the least.

Buffy got up tentatively, and said, “I couldn’t do it, I’m sorry, Angel . . .”

“No!” Lexa said whirling to face Buffy, pointing a finger at her.  “He’s not Angel anymore, don’t you get that yet?  Angelus isn’t Angel, he doesn’t even come close.  Angelus is the thing that /killed/ Angel.”  Giles nodded solemnly.

“Xander,” Buffy said weakly.

Lexa cut anything more of her off, saying, “He was your responsibility; if you couldn’t handle it, you should have asked one of us to do it.  You said yourself you’d take Angelus, but you didn’t.”

“Yeah,” Lotion added pissed off from her position at the table, “and he doesn’t even have that soul anymore either; he’s nothing but a killing machine, and- . . .”

“Lotion,” Giles said sharply, “Buffy- . . .”

Buffy himself interrupted her watcher, asking Lexa with pain, “Why?  Because I’m the Slayer?  Is that it?”

“No,” Lexa said, and took several steps forward and looking Buffy in the eyes.  “Because he was your boyfriend, because doing that nasty with you made him lose his soul; that’s why.   That made him your responsibility, just like my best friend Jesse was mine.”

Jesse!  The name suddenly snapped in Buffy’s head.  The whole Terakan stress had made her forget.  ‘Jesse McNally’ written on that makeshift urn, in that makeshift half-ruined place in the cemetery.  Best friend, ten years, and Xander had dusted him?  Back in the Bronze that first day, she realized, when Xander hadn’t listened, and instead of staying in the sides leaving people out he had gone in anyway.

“It’s going to be very simple, Buffy,” Lexa spoke with a cold fury, Buffy felt wasn’t directed at her, or at least not just at her.  “You’re going to take your responsibility, or I’m going to take it for you.”

“I’m coming with you,” Willow suddenly piped up.  Buffy’s eyes widened.   Lexa looked passed Buffy at her best friend.  Willow interrupted Lexa before she could started, “Oh, don’t even try, buster.  If you think I’m going to let you fight three . . . two and a half master vampires, and who knows how many minions and booby traps all on your very own, you’ve got another thing coming.”

Lexa didn’t bother arguing; Willow sported the face he and Jesse had once dubbed ‘resolve face’ and it meant Willow’s mind was set and nothing short of death was going to change it.  “I’m coming too,” Lotion said resolutely.  Buffy stayed standing perfectly still.

“So am I,” Cordelia said with a grumble.

“Wherever Cordelia goes, I go,” Oz said without a hint of emotion.

Giles reset his glasses and said, “Well, I would be remiss in my duties as Watcher and fighter of the darkness if I’d let kids fight while I stayed cooped up in a library.”

Lexa looked around the room for a moment, smiled, and then said, “Then it’s settled, by tomorrow afternoon, Angelus is dust.”  Lexa looked at Buffy, and added, “One way or another.”  Lexa then turned around and stalked out of the library.

*****

“He was your responsibility,” Xander hissed, and then vamped out.  His impossibly strong hands grabbed Buffy by the throat and bit deeply.

“Yours, Buffy,” Joyce said hungry behind her, and sank her own fangs in her arm.  Pain lanced through Buffy’s body, and she felt her life flow from her.  Willow and Giles joined Xander and Joyce, and she screamed; hearing Angelus laughing all around her.

Suddenly everything changed and she weakly slammed against a wooden floor.  Still bleeding where the vampires had bitten, she slowly raised herself up, having difficulty doing so. She was in the bronze, and saw herself fighting Luke.  Her gaze was drawn to her right where she saw Xander plunge a stake in Jesse’s body.  As vampire Jesse finished turning to dust, the scene rewound, and Xander stake Jesse again.  This happened another time, and then Xander looked up at her, “Your responsibility.”

“Buffy,” a soulful voice spoke, and Buffy whirled around, looking in Angel’s eyes.  The vampire came over, hands in his pocket, and then took her in a brace.  Smile he dipped down to kiss Buffy, and she smiled back.  Just before their lips met, he vamped out and bit down in her neck with a growl.

“Whua!” Buffy exclaimed, jerking awake.  Then she sat herself up, and looked around her bedroom, settling on the line of light that came through the curtains that weren’t fully closed. After looking at it for a moment, the fear the nightmare induced receding, she whispered, “He’s the thing that killed Angel.”  She looked down at her hands and breasts.  Her face hardened and she said, “He’s the thing that killed Angel.”

Buffy got up, and put on a pair of jeans over her panties.  She didn’t bother with a braw and single put on a black t-shirt, that fell sexily around her breasts in its casualness.  She chose a leather jacket, and stacked up on some stakes, stuffing them abruptly in the jacket.  Then she stalked out of her room and out her house without bothering with breakfast, leaving her mother looking annoyed at the breakfast she prepared.

*****

Buffy entered her school.  She was early and only a few kids were around.  She and the others would have classes till about one o’clock, then they’d go.  She entered the library not long after, and found all of them had already arrived.  They all looked up as she came down the three steps.  She looked at them all, and said, “Angelus is mine.”

“You’re not going to let him walk away again?” Cordelia asked skeptically.

Buffy turned her head to her left, looking at Cordelia.  The cheerleader took an involuntary step back at Buffy’s dangerous expression.  “That thing killed Angel, and he’s going to /pay/,” Buffy all but snarled.

“Welcome back to the team, Buff,” Xander said with a grin.  Buffy turned her head to look at him, and she smiled.

“Xander,” Willow asked, thinking of something.  “Do you think they’re still in the factory? Wouldn’t they move now they know we know where they are?”

Xander turned to his best friend and asked, “The big bad, arrogant son of a bitch who’s basking in the fact that Buffy couldn’t get it over her heart to kill him?  Hell no.”

*****

They stood in front of the factory, and took the place in by daylight.  It was a run down place, windows blacked out so the sun couldn’t come in.  “You guys know the plan?” Buffy said, holding a large stone bowl in her hands.

Lotion nodded, lifting her sword with a feral grin, and said, “Box in.  Open windows. Kill.”

“You got it,” Buffy said.  Xander then turned around to the sewer entrance, Lotion following him.

The others walked forward, and Willow lowered her head, muttering spells.  She pushed her hands forward, and all the boards boarding up the windows were launched into the factory, sunlight streaming in instantly.  Buffy placed the bowl at the entrance of the factory and then they entered.

*****

Inside, pandemonium started right away.  Several vamps were immediately cut in the sun’s rays and burst into flame, screaming in pain.

“Shit!” Angelus called in rage, looking around.  Other vampires entered the main hall as well, as far away from the windows facing the sunlight as they could.

Spike instead, grabbed Dru and started wheeling.  “Spike,” Drusilla said.

“Not now, luv, we gotta go,” Spike told her with authority and they quickly moved off. They wove among some equipment.  They came at a door and Spike opened it, then wheeled down a decline with Drusilla in tow.  Down below was the sewer and they entered it.

“Hey, Spike.”

Spike turned his wheel chair to his right as Drusilla whirled around in the same direction. There were Lotion and Xander.  Xander had a stake under his arms folded across his chest, while a smiling Lotion had a curved sword in her right hand.  “You didn’t think we kept the sewer exit unguarded, did you?  So what are you going to do now?”

“Well, first, I’m standing up,” Spike said with an evil grin, doing exactly that and vamping out.

“Spike?” Drusilla said with a little surprise herself.

Chuckling, Spike reached inside his leather duster and produced two pieces of jewelry. He said, “Then I’m going to take this lovely medallion ‘ere, and give it to Dru.  Put it on, pet.”

Drusilla took the medallion and looked at it.

“Then I’m going to put on this ‘ere armband,” Spike said and put on the golden armband with red runes on it and a blue stone in the middle, making Lotion and Xander grimace.  They were about to charge in.

“Miss Edith doesn’t like it,” Drusilla said, stopping the two cold with the ridiculous statement.

Spike rolled his eyes, and looked at Drusilla, telling here, “Tell Miss Edith she can bloody well go to hell with her tastes, or I’m going to beat a few new ones in her.”

“Mummy did like it,” Drusilla purred and put the medallion and necklace around her neck.

“And now to see if the bloody books were right,” Spike said and charged Lotion.  He avoided the blade swipe and then landed a punch.  To Xander’s shock Lotion was launched from her position with a painful scream til she smashed into the stone sewer corner.  The stone shattered and pieces of it were flung away.

“Lotion!” Xander called with shock, as the Amazon sank to her knees with a painful groan.

“Oh, bloody hell, yeah, I’m back,” Spike snarled as she ran onward to Lotion.

At the same time Xander caught a blur in the corner of his eyes, and the next moment he was slammed painfully up against the sewer side.  Drusilla held him there, and grinned evilly. Xander immediately slammed his head into her face.  Drusilla backed up, and snarled, vamping out.  Then she was a blur again.  Xander was shocked, but didn’t even have time to widen his eyes before Drusilla’s punch sent him off to his left, tumbling through the dry sewer catacombs.

Drusilla stalked toward Xander and said, “Mummy fast now, faster than kitten.”

Xander wiped his mouth and saw blood on his hands.  He forced himself to stand, and said, “Dru, you really need to pay attention.  You’re not a mummy, you’re a vampire.”

Drusilla snarled and was once more reduced to a blur, sending Xander flying with a pained scream.  “Nasty kitten, nasty vixen, you’re not fun anymore,” Drusilla said as she watched Xander tumble twice more before coming to stop.  Grunting in pain, Xander held his painful ribs, and made sure he still had the stake firmly in grip.  Damn, she was far too fast.  He had to get that medallion off of her somehow.

At the corner, Lotion got another devastating blow to her face, making it bruise and bleed. “What’s the matter, bitch!?” Spike called with happiness as he slammed her face into the stone, making Lotion yell with the impact.  “Not strong anymore?”  He whirled around, pulling Lotion along and slamming her back first on the corner.

“AAH!” Lotion screamed, and sank to the floor, still clutching her sword knowing if she lost it, it’d be over.

“Oh, yeah, I’m a bloody animal,” Spike said with a grin, grabbing Lotion and lifting her easily off the floor by her hair.  “Thought you could make fun of old Spike, didn’t you? Thought you didn’t have to worry about a simple vampire.”  He slammed his head in her face, and then launched her back he way they had come with a punch to her stomach.

Spike slowly sauntered over and said, “So, got any last words, you Amazon skank?”

Lotion looked up at Spike and forced herself weakly to her legs, and said spitting out blood, “I told future husband I’d hack off your limbs, crush your balls several times and only then dust you.  I keep my word.”

“You little, arrogant . . .” Spike started pulling his hand back for a powerful punch. “AAH!” he yelled, and looked in shock as Lotion’s sword finished slicing through his wrist just above the armband.  The Amazon had used every last ounce of strength left in her to muster up the fasted sword stroke she could.  The hand turned to dust and the arm band clanged against the sewer wall and then to the floor.  Spike immediately lunged for the arm band, he had an another wrist after all.  But with a roar Lotion swung the sword again sliced off both Spike’s legs.

“SPIKE!” a voice screamed from a short distance away.

Spike screamed hysterically as his legs turned to dust, and his torso dropped to the ground. With another slice Spike’s arm that had the remaining hand came off, and dusted.  Another slice later the remaining arm did the same.  Spike finished a hysterical scream of horror, looking down at his limbless form.  Lotion placed herself above his crotch, one leg on either side of him.  Spike looked up at the evilly grinning Amazon with fear, his vamp face retreated some time ago.  “I keep my word,” Lotion spoke with difficulty spitting out some drops of blood that fell on Spike’s face.

As Lotion lifted her looming mid-heels, Spike turned his head jerkily from side to side, “No, no, AAAH!!”

Lotion’s foot rose again, and descended once more.  “AAAH!”

At the other end, Drusilla had blurredly slammed Xander with his back against the sewer. Xander gave a painful roar.  He was certain the crazy bitch had cracked a few of his ribs.  She held up him there, hands at his collar, baring his neck.  “Nasty kitten will taste sweet,” Drusilla hissed out.

“AAH!”  Sounded.  And Drusilla’s face twisted to concern and looked to her right, where she saw Spike handless.  Xander looked down and saw the medallion, having several holes, or windows, made of glass or crystal beneath which there was a gentle blue glow.  Spike gave another scream.

“SPIKE!” Drusilla screamed in horror and concern, and started to run blurred to stop the Amazon.

The momentary distraction was all Xander needed.  “Chestnuts,” his hissed as his left free hand blurred to impossible speeds and grabbed the medallion.  With two of his fingers in the holes he crush it.  It splintered audibly, sparkling some blue sparkles away.  Drusilla stumbled as Xander holding on to the medallion kept her from going onward.  A moment later he stabbed his stake through her dead heart with a roar both of pain as well as anger.  The insane vampiress looked shocked for a moment, and then crumbled to dust, leaving only a destroyed medallion.

Xander stumbled and sank to his knees then looked over at Lotion, who by now was gleefully stomping Spike’s balls over and over, eliciting a new scream of rage over and over. Xander chuckled and the stopped, grabbing his aching ribs.  “Lotion,” Xander half grumbled and half choked out, “stop before you kill me with laughter.”

Lotion looked over to Xander for a moment, seeing him hold his ribs as he forced himself to his feet.  Lotion looked down and looked upon the tear-stained face of Spike.  “Burn in hell,” Lotion said, and then smiling cut off Spike’s head.

Xander gave a laugh and Lotion looked over.  “Have I told you lately I love you?”

“No, that’s much to little,” Lotion managed to get out almost happy.

Xander shook his head with a smile.  “Let’s hope no more vampires come here, huh? Don’t think we can handle many in our conditions,” Xander asked his friend.

Lotion looked down, grinned and picked up the bracelet and slipped it on.  “Oh, I don’t know, I think I’d like to dust a few more,” Lotion said, making Xander smile.

*****

Upstairs Cordelia easily decapitated a vampire, then moved on to another one.  Willow ducked underneath a vampire’s clumsy punch and stuck a stake through its heart.  Off to the side Oz and Giles tackled a vampire and pulling him off to the ground ran to the side till the sunlight hit it, and they let go, watching the vampire burst into flames.  “Perfect to get a barbeque going,” Oz commented before turning around and finding the next vampire.  They found one hiding, and when it found it was discovered it ran from its hiding place to attack them.  Giles jumped aside and the vampire attacked Oz, who back up.

A moment later Giles was on the vampire’s back, and yelled, “Now, Oz!”

The guitarist pulled a stake and quickly slammed it into the distracted vampire’s heart, making it turn to dust.

“Angelus,” Buffy said as she sauntered with confidence and a little sexiness to the middle of the room, to the left of the main table.

Angelus growled and took a few steps to her, until they were some three meters apart, as he said, “I don’t give a damn about how much stronger or faster you are, bitch.  I’m going to kill you for what you did to me.”

Buffy stayed silent, and then moved forward and to the right.  Angelus did the same, starting to circle each other in front of the table.  “I have a little advantage, of course, Buffy. You can’t kill me.  What do you think can change in a single night, huh?”

Buffy said nothing, just sizing him up.  Angelus vamped out, and snarled, “Don’t you have anything to say!?”

Buffy stopped her circling and so did Angelus.  She stayed silent for another moment, and then answered coldly, “Time’s up.”  Instantly she charged forward, and slammed a powerful punch in Angelus’ gut, making him double over with a groan.  Buffy followed up with a powerful left to his face.

“Oof!” he exclaimed being launched off to his left, slamming against metal machinery which dented.  Roaring with fury Buffy grabbed Angel by his collar and pulled him up and over her.  She slammed with all her might into the heavy, solid oak table which broke under the force.  Angelus slammed into the ground with the table in his back, and lay gasping in pain on the floor.  He kicked out back over his head, slamming into Buffy’s face.  She stumbled back and saw Angelus turning around and getting up.

“You little bitch,” Angelus hissed, ripping the remainder of the table apart and came over wielding it.  With a vicious swing he slammed the table across Buffy’s face, making her stumbled off to her right with shout of pain.  Buffy whirled around, but Angelus was already there slamming the table piece on the other side of her face.

“Argh!” she groaned as she stumbled off to her left and slammed into a piece of machinery, once more groaning with pain.

“You think you can kill me, slut?” Angelus growled out and brought the table down on Buffy’s already bleeding face.

“Aah!” Buffy exclaimed sinking to her knees.

Angelus laughed and said, “Better have tried.”  He swung the table back around.

With yell Buffy forced herself up, and let her fist go directly at the table.  It splintered on impact and fell out Angelus’ hands in pieces.  “Fuck you,” Buffy said, and kicked Angelus in his stomach, doubling him over.

“Been there, done that,” a bleeding Angelus told her with a grin.

“RAAH!” Buffy screamed, and gave him an devastating uppercut.  Angelus was launched almost two meters up into the air before he came down and once again landed painfully in the remains of the table.

Buffy walked over as Angelus worked to get up, groaning in pain.  Angelus took a soft look when he realized he couldn’t get up in time.  “Buffy,” he said gently, and Buffy hesitated. He slowly got up, and said, “Please, it’s me, Angel.  I’m back.”

Buffy looked into his eyes, and then saw something.  She grimaced, and said, “You’re not Angel, you’re the thing killed him.”  Angelus’ eyes widened as Buffy suddenly sped up, and yelled, “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire!”  Buffy’s fists blurred, and slammed into Angelus torso with enormous force.  Yelling with rage, tears staining her face, she rammed punch after punch in Angelus’ torso.  The vampire jerked with everyone, screaming in pain as a hundred punches and more slammed into him within the space of a single second.  Then with a final roar, Buffy let fly a devastating right cross then send the soulless vampire flying through the air till he slammed in another piece of old machinery.

Giles, Oz, Cordelia and Willow watched as Buffy walked over to Angel.  “This is the last thing I do for, Angel, the last thing I can do for him,” Buffy said with a hoarse throat, pulling a stake from her jacket.  A dazed Angelus looked up.  “Free him from you.  With you dust, he can finally rest in peace.”  Then the stake came down rapidly and penetrated the vampire’s heart.  He looked at Buffy’s tear-stained face for a moment, and then dissolved into dust.

Buffy took a step back and looked at the dust, tears continuing to stream.  Then she sobbed, once, then a second time.  She forced herself to walk back out the way she came as crying took over.  Her three friends and mentor looked at each other, and wondered what they should do.  A few moments later Buffy returned with her makeshift urn, and kneeled down. Crying she went about gathering and shoving Angel’s remains into the urn.

Willow slowly walked over and started to help.  A few moments later Lotion and Xander joined Giles, Cordelia and Oz, the later two embracing each other.  Then Xander walked onward, and knelt on Buffy’s free side.  He place his hand soothingly on her back, and helped gather the dust in the bowl.

*****

That night Buffy, Willow and Xander walked in the cemetery.  Buffy had asked them along, without really saying where they were going.  Buffy had tears in her eyes, dreading the answer to what she was going to ask, something she felt was selfish, but wanted to ask anyway.  The bluish bowl with Angel’s ashes she held in her hands, and having used a thick golden pen, she had written ‘Angel’ on it.

Quickly Willow and Xander recognized the path though.  A bit later the arrived at the place.  The urn wall was half-ruined, old.  Undoubtedly at least a few decades old.  Most niches were empty, in only a few remained ruined urns, who seem to have been smashed; most likely vampires having had some fun.  In one niche stood a still fully intact urn with Jesse’s ashes; their own private grave, nobody would ever have believed the vampire’s ashes were Jesse’s, or how the two knew it was his.  “I’m sorry,” Buffy barely more than whispered.  “I’m sorry I wasn’t there for you guys.”  Buffy half-broke down, talking though half-crying and tears streaming from her eyes.  “I th-thought you didn’t want me butting in; th-that I’d . . .”  Buffy gasped for breath, and after two arms wrapped around her waste, she forced out, “. . . intrude up-pon something private.  Th-that . . . you w-w-wouldn’t want me to be part of this, just new and all, f-f-failing to protect him.”

“Buffy,” Willow said sadly.

Buffy shook her head as she composed herself a bit, enough to continue, “I know better now.  You hated him, Xan, and I still want you to be here, help me, hold me.  And you Willow, I know you didn’t exactly love him either.  I’m asking something very selfish . . . can I . . .?” The last Buffy whimpered out barely audible, unable to bring herself to say anymore, simply motioning the urn to the wall and the empty niche next to Jesse’s.  Fresh tears sprung in her eyes, and she looked hopeful and pain from one friend to another, and then remained upward to Xander’s face, knowing he’d be the real one to give permission.  Willow and Xander looked over the small blonde at each other.  They only needed an instant of silent communication.  As their own tears started to form and run down their faces, Xander looked down.  He nodded with a tear-stained smile, and gave Buffy a nudge.

With the relief, Buffy started crying again, out loud.  Slowly she walked over, and with Slayer strength easily placed the urn into the free niche next to Jesse’s.   She backed up, and then felt herself enveloped in a double hug, Xander’s longer arms enveloping around both girls.

Buffy stifled her crying after a while, and looked up at Xander.  “You hate me, for not killing Angelus right away?” she asked with a small voice.

“Oh, no,” Xander said, tears flowing more freely.  “I’ll never hate you, certainly not for that.  I know how difficult it is to do that.  I faced it.  I tried to convince a demon not to do something stupid.”  Xander sniffed, as Willow gave a single laugh through her sobs.  “I could barely do it; I don’t even know for sure if I would have, if the fleeing crowd hadn’t bumped into Jesse and moved him forward, into my stake.”  Xander took a deep breath remembering the event, his nose sniffing with the cries.  “All I had to do, was keep the stake up.”  Xander took Buffy in his arms, and he told her, “I’m sorry for being so angry; I think I put some of my own guilt of deciding to face Jesse alone and failure onto you.  I just wished so badly you had told someone of your doubts.”

The three went to back to just embracing each other again.  A few moments later, Buffy looked up again, and asked, “Where does this leave us?”

The question was loaded with so many meanings, Willow grabbed Buffy tighter both for her own sake as Buffy’s.  She knew Xander better than anyone alive, and she suspected.  “I love you, Buffy,” Xander whispered painfully.  “I love you as a friend, I love you as more.  I’m in love with you in so many ways.  You’re incredible; you’re hero, you’ve become an amazing one, the way you took him out, despite what you felt for the soul.”  Xander stopped, swallowing as she saw the pain and dread grow by the moment in Buffy’s eyes, he could see her anticipate the ‘but’.  “But when I think of anything romantic with you now, anything sexy; all I get is squick, and ew, seeing you with a corpse.”

“No,” Buffy sobbed out, remembering her dream.  Curiosity, Xander asking her not to do it, Angel’s dusting, Xander’s dimming and going to Willow.  It had all come true; it just hadn’t warned her of Drusilla, but of herself.

“I’m sorry, Buff, I really am, I’ll be honest; I don’t know if I ever get over that, and if I do, how long it will take; months, years,” Xander said, his tears growing stronger as he saw Buffy sank to her knees, Willow going with her.  “I’m sorry,” he sobbed, “I wish I could just turn it off, but I can’t.”

Not able to take it Xander turned around, and took a step.  “Please stay,” Buffy half-coughed half-sobbed out.  “Friend.”  Xander turned back around and knelt down with Buffy taking both girls back in a fierce embrace.

*****

So, there you have it, Ranma.  I go squick at any thought about doing something with the only girl I’ve ever loved and am completely in love with.  I can see the same pain in her eyes now that I see in my often enough; the pain of dusting the thing that took over a loved one’s corpse, and that’s no small pain, which helped put there.  A best friend that’s in love with me, and I’m developing confusing feelings for, making me half-feel like I’m cheating on the girl that has me go ‘squick’ and the same best friend who’s learning magic from the young woman Buffy’s decided to banish. Learning to CONTROL magic, to be exact, so she’d never again turn into the all-magic puppet she’d been recently under Deo’s manipulations.  Willow can’t give that up, learning control, guaranteed that’s going to come crashing down upon us soon as well.

In summation, Ranma, welcome to my life on the Hellmouth.  You were saying?

Xander.

PS: Write me soon., preferably with some uplifting stuff.

~~~~25~~~~

Five vampires stood in front of the factory.  One was in front, wearing a new pair of glasses, balding and heaving a beard.  A smile crept up his as took the glasses off of him and steadily walked forward, his companions following.  He tossed the glasses forward, they fell to the ground and then crushed them casually beneath his feet.  After all; what did a vampire with vampire-enhanced vision really need glasses for?  A bit later they were inside the main hall, and he looked around the empty place with a big grin.

There was some stumbling, and from a highly stacked metal tube a vampire cam crawling carefully.  Two more came out of different hiding places.  “Well, look at that, Marius,” Dalton spoke with a superior grin, “the master vampires stayed put in the place the slayer and palls knew - and they’re all dust.  Surprising?  I think not.”

His companions snickered, one of them, Marius, stepping forward to equal footing.  The vampire wore a leather jacket, a silk red blouse underneath, and a pair of jeans to finish it off. He looked sophisticated, with enough hint of casualty to make look intelligent, powerful and rich, coming into money on a young age, whenever that was, and whether that was actually true.

“Dalton, you little coward,” the vampire that came out of hiding first hissed.  He walked over with all his height.  The vampire must have been easily over six foot tall; and had muscular arms - he looked very strong.  His vampiric face was out just like the other vampires, and he stalked over to the brainiac vamp.  “How dare you speak like that about the greatest masters that ever were.  You left them, hid, while Angelus, Drusilla, and Spike killer of two Slayers fought to there death, you weak little man.”  The vampire grabbed Dalton by the collar obviously intending to hurt him severely.

“I’m not a man,” Dalton answered him, and with a swish of his hands pulled a stake from inside his jacket and imbedded it in the heart of the vamp.  He looked surprised and then turned to dust.  The faces of the other two vamps that had come out of hiding turned from anger to surprise in no time.  Dalton casually put the stake back, and rubbed the dust of the other vamp from his clothes, while speaking, “Just because I worked for a duo of quite powerful master vampires doesn’t mean I’m weak - it just means I wasn’t as strong as the three of them.”

Clean, Dalton took a deep unnecessary breath, and said, “Well, now, we’ve tried brute force, overwhelming numbers, assassins, complete insanity, supposedly unkillable apocalyptic demons . . . how about we try intelligence for a change?  Hmm?”

There came no argument, and he nodded.  “Good, follow me you two, it’s smarter to /leave/ from where the Slayer and her friends can find you,” Dalton said, and then turned around, and walked back out, Marius directly on behind him, practically beside the book vampire.  Behind that the other vampires followed.

*****

Buffy dried the last of her tears as she stood in front of her house.  She had been with Xander and Willow at Xander’s place.  After her breakdown in the cemetery they brought her there to cheer her up as best as they could.  Then she had left and returned home, finally.  She looked with dread at the front door, not quite knowing what to say to her mother.  Finally she mustered her courage and entered the house.

“Hey, Buffy.”

Buffy turned around and saw her mother sitting on the couch.  Joyce placed her hand on the couch left next to her.  In an instant, Buffy couldn’t figure out why she ever dreaded coming home to her mother.  She walked over quickly, sat down and let herself fall into her mother’s hug.  Lying with her head on her mother’s shoulder, tears escaped her again.  But the crying wasn’t the horrible pain of loss with her friends, it was a soft, cathartic, cleansing sobbing.  Joyce hugged her daughter close and whispered, “I see the world didn’t come to an end.”

Buffy swallowed, and whispered, “Xander blew the thing up with a rocket launcher yesterday.”

Joyce looked surprised, unseen by Buffy, and she said, “Don’t tell me how he got it.  So what happened today, that you needed to run out.”

“Angel,” Buffy said a little louder than a whisper, crying softly, “he lost his soul, I had to dust the demon that wore his face.”

“Oh, honey,” Joyce said and kissed Buffy on her hair, rubbing and hugging her little girl.

“Surprise.”

Buffy opened her eyes and sat up abruptly, Joyce still holding her.  In the door to the kitchen stood Xander, and he entered the room.  Behind and around him Buffy’s other friends poured in.  Xander was breathing slightly heavy, as was Willow - they had obviously raced her home.  Holding a cake with seventeen candles Xander strode forward, saying, “I know you’re not exactly in the mood for it, but there was no way we could let the presents go to waste, let alone the cake.”   Xander reached the low coffee table, and the others came up around him, Willow right next to him.  He set the cake down.

“Yeah, it’s a little late, and will probably sound hollow,” Willow said with a wistful smile, “but happy birthday.”

Buffy looked around.  Lotion was to the left, Oz having an arm wrapped around Cordelia next to her.  Xander and Willow of course, and Giles to the kindergarten friends right. “Presents?” Buffy said, unable to keep a smile of her face.  It didn’t fully reach her eyes, a strange mixture of melancholy and happiness that her friends were here, throwing her a birthday party after all.

“Cake first, I’m hungry,” Cordelia said sourly, although Buffy could see the twinkle in Cordelia’s eyes.  She shook her head just a bit; Cordelia jokingly being selfish?  The world was doomed.  The thought entered her mind for a fleeting moment, bringing the smile fully up to her eyes.

“All right,” Buffy said and bent forward.  She blew, and all the candles went out instantly - some of the candles were also launched off the cake and splattered her friends, along with some whipped cream.  Buffy looked shocked for a moment as she saw Willow look surprised, Xander scoop up a glob of whipped cream, and Cordelia give a shocked shriek at her dress being ruined by whipped cream.  The Buffy laughed out loud, and then Joyce, Giles and Lotion joined in.  Then Xander and Willow and finally Cordelia; while Oz opted to stay true to his stoic self and gave a bright smile.

“Presents,” Willow said enthusiastically once the laughter was over, pulling a box in wrapping from her back and handing it to Buffy.

*****

Willow was sitting in a lotus position on the library floor, meditating with Jenny across from her.  She had five heavy books floating in the air, slowly circling in between them.  Jenny was very uncomfortable.  She had thought that her training with Willow was over, but the budding witch had found her and dragged her to their appointment training session during both their free period now.  Willow had actually scolded her for being late.  Giles was busy with his books at the counter, and they hadn’t spoken.  Now the situation was the reverse of a month or two ago.  The bell rang, signaling the end of the period, and the beginning of lunch hour.

A little while later Lexa and Lotion entered the library.  Lotion in flattering tight jeans and a smooth top that accentuated her breasts.  With time passing by, there were no Chinese dress shops around in Sunnydale, and although a long drive to LA would allow for a rare Chinese clothes shop run by a Chinese woman, it was a long drive, so Western clothes filtered in her wardrobe among her Chinese ones.  Besides, the shop wasn’t Amazon, just Chinese, and Amazon clothing was a bit more . . . Amazonian to euphemistically say than the standard Chinese clothes.  Her dark brunette hair with tails and ribbons was still all girly yet tough though, making her still look exotically beautiful despite her less exotic clothing.  Lexa in turn was wearing a one-piece, black mini-dress, that made her look like heaven incarnate.  She wore a sexy grin, and took Lotion in casually as they walked in together.  Lotion pretended not to notice, but her happiness that her future husband-wife wasn’t oblivious to her charms was obvious by the twinkle in her eyes.

Five heavy books slammed loudly to the floor.  “Willow?” Jenny asked, and she looked around, seeing Lotion and Lexa.  She looked back at Willow and told her softly, “That shouldn’t disrupt your concentration.”

“Sorry,” Willow said, annoyed with herself, as well as a little frightened - she knew what losing control meant.

“Giles,” Lotion said and placed a ring with shimmering jewels and intricate designs on the counter.

“Hmm?  Oh,” Giles offered in return and walked over.  “What is this?”

“Spike wore it; gave him super strength, even more super strength than vampiric super strength,” Lotion explained seriously.

“Indeed?” Giles asked with a little surprise, and Jenny and Willow got up to go over and look at it.

“I had to cut of the vamp’s hand or he would have won,” Lotion added looking down at the ring.  “I tried it out on myself this morning, and it boosts my strength as well.  I do not cheat, however.”

“And she can handle a couple of vamps on her own anyway,” Lexa cut in, making eye contact with Willow and giving her a sexy smile.  The redhead swelled at the action, and returned the smile.  “Some of us have much more use for one like this.  Cordelia - although quite strong and getting stronger - is nowhere near us, Oz is just a guy, and although you’re tough Giles, and Willow and Jenny have magic, you don’t have serious strength.  Someone, I’m thinking Oz, wear this thing during fights, and we have another super strong warrior on our side.”

“That is an interesting proposal,” Giles spoke in his usual British understating manner. “Before we do that, we should research it though, find out what it is exactly and that it doesn’t have unwanted side effects, short term or long term, when one uses it.”

“Cool, research party!” Willow exclaimed, and they all looked at her.  “Hey, everyone has things that excites them, mine is the pursuit of knowledge, sue me!”

“Thirst for knowledge is a good trait,” Giles said with a nod, pulling an old book from below the counter.  From the few words still readable on the cover, it was something of a compendium for mystical artefacts.  “Of course, with knowledge should also come the wisdom to use it,” Giles said casually.  Jenny flinched slightly, feeling the jab at her as if piercing her heart; she had hidden what she knew, who she really was, and that instead of waiting a day with her newfound knowledge about Angel’s curse’s loophole, she should have ‘had the wisdom’ to tell them right away, before the whole unfortunate event.

The library doors opened, audibly in the back ground.  “Hey, guys, how’s everything?  No . . . What’s she doing here?” Buffy’s voice rang out, going from nice to sub-zero the moment she saw Jenny.

The gypsy took a step back, ready to leave, when Willow said evenly, “Training with me.”

Buffy in a casual loose jeans and loose top, hair partially messed up, showing off she hadn’t been in the mood to work much on her appearance, in turn showing she was still shook up, took several steps toward Willow.  “Why?” she asked with a mixture of hurt, betrayal and anger.  “She’s a spy, she betrayed us.”

Willow took a step forward closing the distance between the two friends two barely forty centimeters, and she said with an edge to her voice, “Because she’s the only one who can. Ripper over there knows magic, but only about unleashing it hope for a nice chaos to enjoy. Jenny can teach me control; and I experienced being out of control of the magic, Buffy.  Not something I’m going to repeat if it’s up to me, and it is.”

“Giles?” Buffy asked her Watcher for help.

Giles obviously did not like being asked about the subject.  He had a crush on Jenny, and just not taking her calls and giving her the silent treatment hurt like hell.  He wanted to forgive her, and only his loyalty to Buffy as his Slayer kept him from doing that.  Of course, he pretty much felt like he was the other young women in the library watcher as well.  “I-I’m with you, Buffy, but . . . it’s a public library, I can’t throw her out unless she makes too much of a ruckus,” he smoothly evaded any responsibility.  In the mean time, Lexa had tried to sneak out - too late.

After giving a death glare to Giles, Buffy turned half around and said, “Xander- Lexa, tell her.”

Lexa froze mid-step, three steps away from the rest.

“Yeah, Lexa, tell her,” Willow added her hands across her chest.

Lexa slowly turned around.  She raised her hands in a warding off gesture and said with a nervous smile, “Ah, well, I’m not getting in between you two.  You just fight it out, preferably without the actual fighting, and then tell me how to treat Jenny.  Okay?  Okay.”  She reached over, grabbed Lotion by the hand, and in an act of mercy pulled her along in her rapid flee from the library.

Buffy twisted back around and looked at the determined Willow.  “Fine,” Buffy said bitterly, twisted on her heel, and stalked out of the library.

“Well,” Giles spoke with all the control he could muster, “it seems I will be researching this ring on my own, unless you help me out, Willow?”

Willow turned to Giles and said gently, “Let me get my lunch, for lunch period you have my brain - not literally of course.”

Jenny stayed for a moment, not certain what to do.  Giles had already turned back as Willow left the library to get her lunch, and then she decided to leave and only be in the library when Willow took her there for training.  Hopefully over time they could all find it in their hearts to forgive her, as Willow seemed to have done.

*****

A few days later

Early evening

Buffy waved as the car drove off.  The car honked twice.  Smiling she went inside of her home, a backpack on her back.  “Hey, Buffy!” Joyce’s voice called from the kitchen, preparing herself a sandwich.  “You still need diner?”

“No, dad took me to a restaurant after the ice show,” Buffy answered joining her mother in the kitchen.

Joyce smiled and asked her, “So how was the show?”

“Fantastic,” Buffy answered with a smile.  “It was so beautiful.  Twists, turns, somersaults and all of that on that slippery ice.”

Joyce looked at her daughter.  “Okay, so I’ve seen it before and I can probably do it myself, but dad was there, I sat next to him, we talked, we had quality father-daughter time; we could have been at mud wrestling . . .” Buffy said with a sad smiled.

“You missed him, huh?” Joyce asked her daughter.

“Yeah, I see him so little since you got divorced,” Buffy said with a momentary sad smile. Then she brightened up and added, “And after . . . what I had to do . . . a night away from this place.  It was just what I needed.”

“I’m glad you had a great time,” Joyce told her and came over to share a quick hug.

Buffy took the backpack off, opened it and pulled several boxes saying, “And presents! Presents are always good, especially when dad feels he should overcompensate for not being there for me every day.”  She pulled removed the already torn re-wrapped wrapping, showing a short, black evening dress.  The second box held a beautiful necklace to go with it.  The third and final box earrings.  “I’m guessing he had female help with picking it out,” Buffy said taking in the present with sparkling eyes.

Joyce chuckled, saying, “I’m sure he did.”

*****

“Ah, finally,” Ryoga, the eternal lost boy told no one looking out to the docks from his position on the ship.  He had taken a job on the thing, cleaning the deck and doing more chores.  “Back in Tokyo.  With this new technique, I will beat Ranma once and for all!  I just have to find Nerima,” he said with a deadly smile.

Then the sign on the docks became close enough to read, and Ryoga did.  ‘Welcome to Sunnydale California.’  Ryoga’s eyes widened in shock.  “NO!  Not this place again!” Ryoga shouted in anger.  He deflated, hanging over the railing when one of the crew members backed up into him.  Ryoga’s eyes widened, balanced, and went over.  “Aaah!”

SPLASH!

A moment later a brown piglet broke the water down below, squeaking with anger, glaring hatefully at the ship . . . that came ever closer.  The piglet’s eyes widened, and then quickly turned around and started swimming for its life, screeching all the way.

*****

Grumbling Ryoga walked aimlessly in Sunnydale; having gone from one side to the other and back again several times over.  “This looks familiar,” Ryoga muttered looking down the street, taking in a terrace having five tables with some chairs.  The shop it belonged to had a sign that read in flowing letters, ‘The Amazon Dragon - Authentic Chinese and Amazon food.’

Ryoga’s eyes twitched with annoyance when he remembered the place.  Obviously the woman had added some outside dining opportunities.  Deo stepped outside, and looked around.  “Ah, Ryoga!” Deo exclaimed with a large grin, which made Ryoga extremely uncomfortable.  Deo reached him, put a friendly arm around his shoulder, and said, “Perfect time.  My female clientele was going down a bit, I take it you need another job to pay for another passage to Japan?”

Ryoga groaned and then his right hand balled into a fist.  “Ranma,” Ryoga hissed dangerously, “somehow this is your fault too, I know.  I will kill you for this, right after I kill you for everything else.”

*****

Their lips touched feverishly together, kissing each other hungrily.  Xander was sitting on the passenger seat, and Willow was in the driver’s seat.  There are arms were wrapped around each other and fondling everywhere.  “Hm, mh, Willow,” Xander said breaking the heated kiss, looking at the hot redhead.  The low-cut top showed off her small, but ample cleavage.  Her lipstick was no longer fully present, partially probably on his lips.  Along with the smouldering look in her eyes, she looked positively, breathtakingly hot.  “I can’t believe your mom lent you the car,” he said softly trying to control where things were going.  He had one bad experience with letting hormones get the better of him, so he was determined to put pressure on the breaks, and make a more informed decision.

It had been two weeks since Buffy’s birthday, and Xander’s thinking of her in romantic was had slowed down.  For one thing he actively sought not to, because he hated feeling ‘icky’ about the amazing heroine, (very possibly former) lover and friend that was Buffy Summers. Willow and Buffy’s relationship was strained, albeit they were still friends, and they still regularly spent time together.  As a result, Xander and often Lexa whenever Buffy felt like ‘girl talk’, had been together more in ‘friend’ capacity - alone.  Similarly, Xander and Lexa also hung out more with Willow - alone - in both friend and more capacity.

Outside of the car were bushes, grass, a sandy path, and a bit onward more cars.  It was Sunnydale’s make out place for those with cars, and there were plenty of people and cars that were only meters from Willow and Xander’s car using the place for the same reason.  “Well,” Willow said desperately, leaning forward again, “I don’t think she notices me enough to know I’m gone.  If she misses the car more than me, I’m officially going for emancipation as well.” Before Xander could say anything else, her hands were back rubbing his chest and her lips pressed to his, with her tongue exploring his mouth.

“Mmh,” Xander muttered forcing his head back again.  “Will, slow down.”  Willow pouted, almost making Xander’s resolve crumble before overwhelming force.  Somehow though, he managed to control himself.  “I think we should, you know, slow down.  This is going way too fast.  I know what too fast got me last time - heart ache, pain, broken friendships.”

“What makes you think I want to have sex with you?” Willow asked with a superior smirk.

“Uh,” Xander said, looking down, where Willow’s right hand was gently stroking his crotch, where behind Xander’s jeans lay hidden a raging erection.  Her left hand was gently rubbing the left side of his chest, her palm on his nipple.

Willow blinked and said, “Let me rephrase that; what makes you think I want to have intercourse with you?”  Xander looked confused, which made Willow’s heart fill with love. Still her loveable doofus despite the body, and confidence upgrade.  “Xan, I’m not ready,” Willow said softly with smile, “Hands, mouths, lips, tongues, naked bodies, oh yes, but not . . .”  Willow let the sentence hanging and looked deeply into his eyes.

“I don’t know, we were just tr- . . .” Xander was cut off by Willow’s new oral attack.  A deep kiss that she broke and then started kissing, nuzzling and nibbling down Xander’s chin and neck, which made him gasp with the sensation.  “Oh, boy.”

There was a feint sound, and Xander frowned, then pushed Willow back from him, hands on her upper arms.  “Did you hear that?” Xander asked, frowning as he tried to listen.

Willow listened, and then smiled.  “Nope, nothing.”  She went back to kissing Xander.

There was a new sound, of plants being ripped, or torn.  Xander pushed Willow back, and said, “Now I /know/ I heard something.”

“Oh, come on,” Willow said with a smile, humoring him.  She was antsy, her body was practically burning up, her nipples were hard and she was moist down there.  Her desires were doing the thinking for her, making her miss the fact she knew Xander wouldn’t say that for nothing.  She leaned forward, going to kiss and said, “Just rel- . . . Aah!”

Behind Xander, outside the car, in the window there was suddenly a beast; a grey-furred beast.  A canine snout slammed a moment later against the window and it cracked but held. The monster growled and roared and prepared to go again.  Xander turned around and saw it slam into the door again, probably denting.  With a grimace he opened the door and slammed it into the overgrown dog, and it backed up a little.  Xander got half out of the car, his right foot on the ground, and then with a quick jab slammed his fist across the beast’s snout.  It tumbled backward, yipping in pain, then righted itself, looking as Xander got out of the car with purpose - an almost bloodthirsty grin on its face.  The pain of just one hit, coupled with the grin it all to well understood, made it turn and run away quickly - this was one being that was not prey but predator like itself, and prey wasn’t worth fighting one that strong over.

“Ah, damn!” Xander exclaimed seeing the monster disappear in the bushes and trees.  He didn’t have a flashlight, and so there was no way to track the thing.  “It got away,” Xander said.

The fright caused by the beast’s attack, and bled out almost all of Willow’s arousal, and so she said, “Ah, let’s go home, and tell Giles in the morning.”

“Okay, what are you going tell your mom?” Xander asked casually as he got back into the car.

Willow looked at him, and then realized he was talking about the damaged door.  “I’ll think of something,” she said as she started the engine.

*****

For a change the Scoobs met in the parking lot in front of the school.  Giles arrived holding a paper, and said, “Listen to this.  A body was found heavily mauled and half eaten.  This seems to be our expertise, and no vampire for a change of pace.”

“Unless it’s a really, really, really disturbed vampire,” Cordelia having sunglasses on her head, and wearing a grey mini-dress said.  She looked stunning, and hated the fact that Oz wasn’t here.

“Indeed, although highly unlikely,” Giles replied with a neutral face.

Willow had Xander’s arm around her, leaning against a car next to Cordelia.  Two pairs of female eyes attempted to burn holes in Willow’s hand.  She spoke up, “I think we saw it last night.  Some hairy monster slammed into the car wanting to eat us.”

“Really?” Giles asked intrigued.

“Yeah, I chased it off, it’ll have a nasty bruise though.  It was of the canine variety, I’m thinking: werewolf,” Xander explained with a lopsided grin.

“Werewolf?” Lotion asked with some annoyance.  “I hate dogs.”

“Who doesn’t like sweet puppy dogs?” Buffy accused Lotion who glared back at the girl.

“Listen, pig-nosed girl . . .” Lotion started.

“How did your mom take the damage,” Xander quickly interrupted, directing the question at Willow.

“Oh!” Willow said with an enthusiastic face, “Pretty good.  I told her it was probably some hooligan down the street and she bought it.  She shrugged and said insurance would cover it.  Never even noticed I wasn’t at home.”

Giles frowned at Willow’s statement, and then smiled saying, “A werewolf, you say, Xander?  If your hypothesis is true, we would have a month to prepare for its next night out on the town so to speak.”

“A day,” Willow interrupted.  “Some nine hours actually.”  Giles looked questioningly at her.  “Tonight’s the full moon,” she added.

Giles frowned for just a moment, thinking about full moon.  “Interesting, that would mean the popular myth about only coming out on the night of the full moon are in error,” Giles said and then started walking toward the stool with a spring in his step.  “A werewolf.  It’s one of the classics.”

The Scoobs fell in step behind their librarian, and with crunched face Buffy remarked, “Giles needs a hobby.”

“He needs a girlfriend, or should I say ‘his’ girlfriend,” Lotion corrected, making Buffy glare at the Amazon.

“Either way,” Xander said in attempt to keep the peace, “I guess we’ll be out werewolf hunting tonight.”

“Yeah, so I can get my clothes all dirty again,” Cordelia complained lightly.

“You need Slaying clothes, clothes only for Slaying, easy fitting stuff you can move in,” Buffy gave her sagely, veteran slayer advice.  “You could go shopping this afternoon.”

“I’m know, I’m not stupid,” Cordelia bit back.

*****

“So exactly why are we going to have lunch there again, Buffy?” Xander complained as the Scooby Gang, Lotion included slowly walked toward The Amazon Dragon.  “She’s an evil witch, remember?”  Buffy and Willow were up front, then came him and Lotion, and finally Cordelia and Oz.

“Mother evil,” Lotion agreed, not liking the idea of her future husband and her friends in reach of her mother’s next potential scheme.

“But we haven’t been there in ages, and evil witch or not, she’s an amazing cook,” Buffy said, as Willow walked with some annoyance.  She too had no desire to eat at . . . scratch that, there was a bare-chested Ryoga bringing some peoples’ orders to a table outside.

“Oh, of course, I see,” Xander said sarcastically noticing Ryoga himself now too, while Buffy attempted to hide her lecherous smile, “Yep, she’s such a good cook, or should I say recruiting agent.”

“That’s not . . .” Buffy started.

Flatch.  Slowly Lexa now tightening out the top while the jeans were a bit loose turned around and looked at Oz screwing the cap on his thermos with a seriously pissed off face.  “I just thought you’d appreciate the scenery a bit more as a girl than as a guy,” Oz remarked as if discussing the weather.  The girls couldn’t help but giggle.

“Very funny, Oz, /very/ /funny/,” Lexa said tersely.

*****

“Sunnydale can be a dangerous place at night,” the female instructor spoke in the gym. “Everyone should know a little self-defense and that’s why we’re going to be teaching you a bit.”  The students were all sitting on the stands of the gym.  They were wearing their gym clothes in Sunnydale colors: red and yellow.  Some wore different color tunics, but all had yellow and red in their outfits somewhere.  “Form up in groups of four.”

The students got off their buts and came down.  Larry, the tall blonde jock, had a gauze on his upper arm.  A few more guys were around him, as he said, “Man, it’s still painful. Getting bit by a dog is worse than it sounds.”

Oz cut in front of him casually, Cordelia behind him and he held up his right index finger which had a plaster on it,  “I know what you mean.  My cousin Jordy turned one and got his first teeth, nasty things.”

Larry looked oddly at him as he and Cordelia walked onward.  Larry suddenly dismissed them and switched courses.  He saw a lovely brunette girl and walked over to her.  Leering he said, “Hey, Melissa, I’m going to be your partner.  Just how realistic to do you want the groping to be?”

Melissa looked with a little fear at him, and then Cordelia suddenly stood in between her and Larry.  Oz casually mosied on over and stood next to Melissa.  Cordelia gave the dumb jock an evil smirk that made him swallow.

Willow, Buffy, Xander, and Lotion were the least enthusiastic about it all, and came last, walking over slowly.  “Uh, Mrs. Ashton, do we really have to do this?” Xander asked as the four of them slowly found a place, and Buffy noticed with a bit surprise that she was with Willow in the same group.

“Of course, like I said, this could save your life,” Mrs. Ashton answered him, as the other students started to find a place.

“What he means to say is, this is kids’ stuff,” Lotion clarified somewhat annoyed that she, an Amazon warrior, would be expected to take classes with a bunch of rookies.  She should be teaching this class!  She’d mop the floor with the instructor, literally.  “The four of us are advanced martial artists, doing some exercises is a waste of time.”

“Is that so, Ms. Lu?  Can you demonstrate a shoulder throw then?” Mrs. Ashton asked the Amazon.

Lotion rolled her eyes in annoyance.  Demonstrate a mere shoulder throw?  The things she could demonstrate . . .  “Of course,” she said, facing the other students and gesturing to Xander.

He grinned and grabbed her around her neck.  Lotion immediately bent forward while taking a step back, and hurled Xander over her neck.  She was careful and so Xander smoothly landed on his ass on the mat, and got without problem.

Mrs. Ashton nodded with satisfaction, and said, “If you noticed, Lotion performed the throw perfectly.  One needs to both bend over pulling your attacking along, as well stepping back to use your and your attackers bodies’ momentum.  Very important.”  Mrs. Ashton gestured for the students to try.  She turned around to the four who were claimed to be ‘advanced martial artists’ and said, “I’d like to see what you can do before I let you train on your own.”

“Sure,” Xander said with a smirk and walked off to behind the students.  Lotion followed him, while Willow and Buffy walked off the corner diagonally from Xander and Lotion, next to the row of students that occupied the bottom left corner.

As Mrs. Ashton prepared to take in Xander and Lotion, the students made their attempts at shoulder throws, most of whom who failed.  Cordelia was about to throw Larry, when he groped her leg, and said, “Come on, Cor, show me what you can do, I’ll make it more real for you.”

Cordelia give a small growl, and then made the perfect shoulder throw.  Unlike Lotion though, she was not gently or careful, and simply yanked Larry onward, and put all her might in bringing him down.  With a painful yowl he landed hard on the mat, which meant he didn’t get much pain at all.  With a quick motion Cordelia slammed her palm into his forehead, and with a painful grunt he went unconscious.  She grinned, as everyone looked over at the unconscious jock and she said, “Oops.  I don’t know my own strength.”

Oz bent over to Melissa and said gently, “Remind me never to piss my girlfriend off.”  The girl gave him a smile.

Xander and Lotion turned their attention back to each other, and looked at each other. Xander smirked, as the two completed their battle stances.  Mrs. Ashton looked, and then her jaw dropped.  With speed and a quick yell Xander and Lotion went to each other and traded blows.  Lotion deflected one of Xander’s while she ducked backward, to avoid the second one. Xander jumped up in the air and kicked his right foot out.  Lotion stepped out of the way to her right, ready to capitalize on Xander’s weakness.  Xander though twisted his body around its axis and made a roundhouse punch.  Lotion ducked underneath and kicked out, landing her foot squarely in Xander’s stomach as he landed.  Xander groaned while grabbing her foot. Lotion jumped up, kicking out with her other leg.  Xander bent backward avoiding the kicking, flipping over on his hands and onward on his feet.  Lotion flipped high through the air and landed, as Xander attacked.  She blocked his first punch, but got a left hook across her chin. She bent back a bit with the hit, using her hands to Xander’s hands aside opening his stomach. With Xander’s momentum still going forward, Lotion ducked and landed her hands with all her might in Xander’s stomach.  He groaned as he was launched off his feet, flying back to land against the wall six meters away . . . with his feet.  He jumped off of the wall, closing the distance to the advancing Lotion much quicker than she anticipated.  She doubled over as his right punch landed in her stomach.  He ducked and twisted to his left as Lotion kicked out, landing his elbow in her side.  Xander turned to throw a punch, which she grabbed and immediately twisted to pull him up and over her body that twisted under his arm.  Xander was pulled off the ground, but he made a somersault to land on his feet instead of his back.  He immediately twisted around with an elbow to Lotion’s face that she only barely avoided.

Lotion flashed Xander a grin, and Xander’s eyebrows raised.  Quickly stepping forward she yelled, “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire!”  With devastating speed an enormous amount of punches came at Xander.  He had figured that Lotion had reached the level to perform the technique as well about a weak earlier, but had of yet to perform the technique properly.  Lotion’s grin had warned him, making him realize she had perfected it in her private training.  His own chestnuts allowed him to block and parry each of her punches, then with a quick leg swipe, sent the Amazon down to the floor.

“Okay!” Mrs. Ashton called out, while the students still looked with large eyes at the amazing fight.  Xander and Lotion looked over at her, and she said, “You’ve proven it, you can train your own stuff, there’s nothing I can teach you two.”  Xander helped Lotion up with a grin.

Only three students in the long line of groups of four weren’t stunned.  One was the unconscious Larry, the second the unflappable Oz who had seen it before anyway, and the final one was Cordelia who just shook her head muttering, “Showoffs.”

Meanwhile, Buffy smiled at Willow and said, “I’ll go easy on you.”

“Don’t patronize me,” Willow returned as she brought her arms up, her sides facing Buffy, one arm back and one arm front.  Willow made a come-here gesture with her forward open hand.  Buffy nodded, her smile faltering and kicked out at Willow’s face.  The redhead parried the kick with her front right hand while taking a step back.  Then she threw a punch to Buffy’s stomach who blacked it, while throwing her own.  Willow reared back, only barely avoiding Buffy’s punch.  With a yell Buffy pressed her advantage with a kick, but Willow crouched down, and then jumped up with her own battle cry, landing a powerful uppercut directly on Buffy’s chin.  The Slayer was launched off her feet with a groan of pain, then landed on the mat.  She got up instantly, a pissed off look on her face.

“Oh, you bitch,” Buffy said lowly, and then charged forward.  Willow looked surprised and needed every last little bit of speed she could muster to block the Slayer’s first punch. Suffice it say, there was no way she could stop the second one landing in her stomach.  She doubled over, only get a roundhouse kick to her face and drop to her back.

“Ow,” Willow muttered from the floor, and looked up to see the petite blonde towering over her.  “A little restraint would be nice,” Willow whimpered and then was lifted off the floor by her collar by two impossibly strong hands.

“I thought you didn’t want me to patronize you,” Buffy asked her, as some of the other students looked over at them.

“Not going easy and using everything you got are not the same - somewhere in between would be nice,” Willow told Buffy and then pulled up both her feet and slammed them in Buffy’s face.

“Urgh!” Buffy gurgled out as she staggered backward and let go of Willow who landed painfully on her backside.  Willow got up and looked warily at her friend.  Buffy charged and made a clumsy right cross.  Willow avoided it, twisting aside to the left, and moved to grab Buffy’s next hit, a bit of her old muscle memory still present.  Willow’s eyes widened as she saw Buffy twisted around, grinning at her, in a completely different way she’d have moved several months earlier.

“Oh, boy,” Willow muttered realizing her mistake, just before two open hand palms slammed in her stomach.  “OOF!” she said, being launched off her feet and landing three meters further.  “Ow,” Willow muttered looking up at the ceiling.

*****

The bell rang, and Willow, aching all over, forced herself to her feet after Buffy had put her down once again.  A little across from them Xander and Lotion stopped their furious sparring session.  The other students stopped what they were doing as well, which was either performing an instructed maneuver, or gaping at Xander and Lotion.

Buffy had turned and started walking out the door.  “Buffy,” Willow said with a slight groan in her voice.  Buffy turned around and smiled at Willow waiting for her to speak.  “We need to talk, in private.”

After changing clothes, Willow and Buffy found a quite place in the school’s courtyard. “So what’s the matter?” Buffy asked perkily.

“What’s the matter?  You know what’s the matter.  You just spent the entire hour pummeling me,” Willow accused Buffy.

Buffy looked sourly at Willow and told her, “We were sparring.”

“Yeah, right.  Usually sparring includes giving advice and teaching someone when they’re clearly less than you are, you just beat me up,” Willow said, rubbing her sour left shoulder in demonstration.  “We’ve hung out together in the past few weeks, Buffy, we’ve talked, but never quite, and you know it.  It’s usually one way and superficial.  This is about Jenny.”

“So what if it is?” Buffy countered, obviously pissed.

“Buffy, I’ve never known you to carry a grudge like this,” Willow said somewhat concerned and feeling bad, “You’ve all but forgiven Lotion for anything she did, same with Cordelia, and you dragged us to Deo’s restaurant.  I’m pretty sure at the very least the last one did far worse than Jenny.  She just made an mistake, Deo deliberately went after us.”

Buffy looked down.  “If she . . . I wouldn’t have . . . and then . . . I wouldn’t have lost . . .” Buffy muttered, obviously tears threatening to start to come.

Willow frowned, feeling pained and guilty at Buffy’s pain.  She shimmied closer and twisted her upper body from a confrontational forward to a companionable side, and slinging an arm around Buffy’s shoulder.  “Angel?” Willow asked gently, pained.

Buffy shook her head.  “Xander - happy means no necro-sex, and that means no disgust,” Buffy whimpered defeated and let herself slump against Willow.

“She’s sorry, Buffy.  She screwed up, yes.  She hurt us all, but she only just found out, and she was part of the gypsy tripe long before she met us.  Forgive Jenny, please,” Willow whispered gently holding Buffy tight.  “Don’t you think it’s time?  If not for me, you must have seen Giles, I think he’s hurting more than you do.”  Willow took in Buffy’s reaction.  The blonde stopped her pity attack, sat up straight and with raised eyebrows looked at Willow. The witch could easily see the new pain on Buffy’s face - she had definitely noticed Giles.  Do you really want to keep putting him through that?”

Buffy sighed, and said, “Fine.”

*****

Buffy walked into the computer classroom.  Jenny was behind her desk.  “Uh, Miss Calender?” Buffy prompted.

Jenny’s head jerked up, instantly a guilty face on it directed at Buffy.  “Yes, Buffy?” she asked weakly.

“Hi, uhm . . .” Buffy started wondering how to do this.  She still wasn’t ready to forgive her, but she could tolerate her, and get back the closeness she had with Willow and Giles. “Giles . . . he misses you.”

“Oh,” Jenny said weakly.  “Yes, I- uh . . . I think I noticed that.”

“You don’t have to stay away from us, any of us,” Buffy said softly, pain in her eyes. “I’m not going to like you for quite a while, but . . . the silent treatment is over.”  Jenny looked stunned.  Then Buffy slowly turned around and walked back out into the hallway, leaving Jenny sitting silently at her desk.

*****

Buffy, Xander, Willow, Cordelia and Lotion sat around the table in the library.  Giles arrived holding a book and said, “I have studied werewolves, and have found some interesting information.  The werewolf represents the most primal and primitive in us.  So primal it emerges not just on the full moon, but also the nights directly preceding and following it.  It is a creature that runs on pure instinct; it lives to feed, and so it kills.  It knows no mercy or remorse, or in fact any higher brain functioning.”

“In short, you’re typical male,” Buffy piped up with a smile.

“Hey!” Xander called out offended, while the other three girls looked without any positive emotions at Buffy, who was completely oblivious to having pissed the other girls off.

“Indeed, Buffy, let’s not jump to conclusions, shall we?” Giles added to defense of his gender somewhat perturbed.

“Who jumped?  I took a tiny step, and there conclusions were,” Buffy added perkily and looked over to Willow’s dark look.

“And why would you consider that a bad thing?” Lotion asked Buffy, and then she seemed to be taken by a holy spirit.  “Rough, tough, doesn’t put up with wining, goes after the girls he wants, conquers them, defeats any man to stand in his way.  He takes you hard, no nicey nice ‘oh, dear, yes dear’, no annoying spineless thingy, no shifting and wonder, and thinking a fifth time over this or that, looks at you, leers at you, no pussyfooting around waiting for you to make a move, no having to hope you took the right thing, were you two forceful for his weak spine, or did you come on too soft and thinks you lack confidence, no, a /real/ man comes after you.  A /real/ man will rip a bear’s paws of with his bear hands in order to protect you.  You are lucky having real men around, just imagine having to drag his sorry wimpy ass away from the bear before taking it on with your swords, while he just sits there cowardly.  No, a man in touch with his instincts, that’s the way a man should be.”

Everyone looked at her, and Giles started, “Yes, well, that was- . . .”

“She’s completely right,” Willow butted in.

“WHAT!?” Buffy exclaimed in shock, hearing that come from her best female friend. Xander looked surprised at Willow.

“She’s right,” Willow repeated, nodding, “that’s exactly the way a you want a guy to be. Who wants a wimp?  You want a guy to take charge, I want to feel strength in his arms around me, confidence and power he just conquered another girl as he kisses you.  Oh, yes, no half-hearted and then backing off going on about going too fast this, and I’m not ready thus.  Bad enough we do that; guy’s do that . . . well, the human race would be extinct in no time, because nobody would get to having sex and procreation.”

Buffy was about to say something, when Cordelia said, “Yep, definitely.  A man doesn’t have the drive for sex, the human race is doomed.  The way men are today is the way we want them, we made them, we chose to procreate with those types of men, and here we are today.”

“Hey, where’s the sisterhood gone?” Buffy pouted with some surprise and annoyance.

“It isn’t like girls are any better,” Xander observed with a smirk.

“How dare you say that!?” Buffy exclaimed angrily at Xander.

The brunet put his hands behind his head and said, “Who dragged us off to Deo’s to ogle Ryoga’s chest, huh?  Twice in fact.”

“Well . . . hey . . . that’s,” Buffy managed before being reduced to sputtering.  Giles took his classes off and started cleaning them with a handkerchief.

“He’s got you there,” Cordelia commented with a grin.

Xander nodded in victory as he added, “And how did we figure out I was bi?  Lexa checked out a guy’s ass.  I’m a girl too, Buffy, girls are just as bad; you’ve just had better pr the last few decades.”

“This is not fair,” Buffy said folding her arms across her chest and pouted.

Having long since resorted to pinching the bridge of his nose, Giles interrupted the conversation and said, “That’s all fascinating, I’m sure, but I believe we have more pressing matter to attend to; namely a werewolf.”

“Bring out the silver bullets, giddy-up,” Xander said with a smile.

“No bullets,” Giles said resolutely, making everyone look up at him, “a werewolf is only a werewolf for three nights out of the month.  During the twenty-eight other days he or she whatever the case may be is just a normal human being, who might not even be aware of what he is.  We need to capture it, subdue it, but not kill it.”

*****

Later that day Jenny walked gently into the library.  Giles looked over at her, and then away. Jenny smiled painfully and walked over to the counter, going to Giles’ side.  “Rupert,” she said softly.

“What can I do for you, Miss Calender?” Giles said with pain in his heart.

Jenny took a few steps closer and said, “Buffy invited me back.”

Giles’ eyes widened at the announcement, mutter, “Are you quite su-. . .?”  He was interrupted by Jenny getting even closer and planting a passionate kiss on his mouth.  “Ah, and what makes you think . . . oh, bloody hell,” Giles said and then grasped Jenny, pulling her closer and starting a kissing session that made the former kiss look cold.  Jenny gave a single surprised mewl before kissing back with everything she had.

They didn’t break apart for another five minutes, and then Jenny said breathlessly, “I’m in love with you.”  She choked on her breath when she realized what she said, and looked up at Giles frightened.

“And I with you,” Giles said gently, and Jenny smiled.

*****

The sun had set, and the Scooby Gang minus one gypsy and guitarist stood in front of the woods where the werewolf was last seen by Willow and Xander.  They all were carrying nets and chains so they could capture the werewolf.  Some of them were getting impatient.  Xander was in tight jeans and top closed by buttons.  Willow was in her pre-confidence overall jeans, her slayer clothing.  Cordelia was in stylish gym clothes, fitting loosely without becoming billowy, still showing off her figure, bought brand new.

“He’s late,” Lotion commented with her arms folded across her ample chest, making it look even more ample.  She wore a traditional Amazon dress, high slits on both sides to allow easy fighting movements.

“Really, late,” Buffy added, making them look at Cordelia.  She wore a cap and a coverall jeans as well, along with a sweatshirt.

“Yes, quite,” Giles spoke casually, in his traditional Watcher suit, but knowing Giles he was even more impatient and annoyed at Oz’s tardiness than they were.  “We’re with six, I suggest we stop waiting.”

“Good idea,” Xander commented happily.

“Hold on, let me give him a call first,” Cordelia said pulling out a cell phone.  She quickly dialed Oz and put on her ear.  They looked at her with confused eyes.  After a bit she hung up annoyed and said, “He’s not picking up.”

“Let’s go then,” Willow said and pointed at the woods.

“Yes, I say we do.  Me and Buffy, Lotion and Xander and finally you two would be a good split I think,” Giles said with a mutter.

“Okay, I’ll SMS him he doesn’t have to come anymore,” Cordelia said, obviously annoyed and a little angry herself.  Xander shook his head in sympathy - Oz was going to be chewed out the way he’d never been chewed out before.

“Oz has a cell phone?” Buffy asked confused.

“I bought him one,” Cordelia said nodding her head, then a little angrier, “It’s supposed to allow us to contact each other all the time - unless he’s in the middle of a performance, but he doesn’t have one.”

Xander bent over toward Giles, and with his hand to the right of his mouth, shielding it from the rest he said softly, “Whipped.”  Giles nodded stoically like a good Brit, and Xander grinned.

“There, we can go,” Cordelia said, obviously having sent the text message with her cell phone.

“Let’s move out then,” Giles said and turned around, Buffy following suit.  They walked off while Cordelia and Willow went diagonally to the left, and Xander and Lotion took right.

*****

Lotion’s arms were around Xander’s neck, and her tongue was in his mouth.  His was in hers in turn, and their kissing was growing more passionate, his hands rubbing her back.  “Oh, god, Lotion,” Xander muttered pulling free with some difficulty as Lotion pressed her breasts against him, and wrapped her legs around him.  “Werewolf hunting, remember?”

“Hmm, I think we can do both,” Lotion muttered before planting her lips back on his.  He kissed her back with a slight smile, and then resolutely picked her by the waist and put her on the ground away from him.

“Werewolf hunting,” he said and started walking.

“Okay, fine,” Lotion said with a smile, falling in step.  “Kissing later?”

Xander smiled at the Amazon and said with a small bit of guilt toward Willow, “I think we’ll do a full on make out session on my couch.”  Lotion smiled, and Xander pushed the guilt away.  Willow knew the deal, agreed to it; until he could make up his mind, he was free to date and kiss the Amazon.

*****

“What does she think I am, a robot!?” Willow complained as she walked through the bushes. Cordelia nodded in agreement, as they walked onward looking around for the werewolf. Willow complained, “I love her, I really do.  She’s my best friend after all, but still . . . last few weeks we’ve been strained, but when she comes along that’s all she can talk about, crying. Now we made up this afternoon, and it’s been worse!  Boohoo, he doesn’t want me anymore, and during that, she goes on and on.”

“Absolutely, Willow, you’re completely right.  We’re girls, not cold-hearted bitches without feeling,” Cordelia agreed, taking a closer look through a bush shining her flashlight, but then realizing the bit of fur was a squirl, not a werewolf.

“Exactly, a girl, with hormones, and an imagination,” Willow moved her head down while looking with her eyes up at Cordelia to emphasize the point, “a very /active/ imagination being this intelligent, and all she goes on is, ‘I’ll never feel it again, boohoo, his body this, and the feel of hot skin there, and the way his erection filled her thus, and smell of his sweat and the feel of his passionate blood rushing thus, and the tongue, that heavenly tongue, and the strength of his hands so gentle . . .’ AAAH!  I’m about ready to explode!  But does Xander relieve me of my tension?  Noooo, of course not, that would be nice and something finally going good for Willow Rosenberg.  He can fuck her into quivering wreck at a time she should have kept her paws off of him, but me?  Not even a fondle, or-or a pet, let alone a lick.  ‘I don’t want repeat the mistakes of the past, Willow.  Last time was too soon, and look what came of that.’  Ugh.  I just want to tie him up apart from his hands, and tell him, ‘Trust me, it’s the right time, in fact it’s over time!’”

“You preach it, Willow,” Cordelia agree wholeheartedly.

Willow nodded in irritation, her inflamed body not helping any, “I’ll bet he’s giving Lotion hand jobs.  MEN!”

“Exactly,” Cordelia agreed again and started her own rant.  “First they butter you up with tales of giving girls multiple orgasms with just their fingers, and then they don’t want to give you any.  ‘I don’t want to repeat the mistakes of past, Cordelia.  I probably hurt a lot of groupies, Cor.  I don’t want to be like that anymore.’  Fine!  Than don’t get me all hot and bothered first!  Plus, relationship here.  We’ve been together for weeks; this isn’t no one night stand.”

“Yeah, I bet their doing it on purpose,” Willow chimed in, peering around but no werewolf in sight.  Wondering why?  I didn’t think so.  She continued, “The groupies I mean, and Buffy in particular.  She’s just saying all those things to torture me.  God, I need Xander . . . or Lexa, either one will do.  Just . . .”  Willow paused and then whined pathetically, “This is torture.  If Buffy starts on how good Xander was one more time, I’m going to rape /her/!”

“Not a bad idea, I should find one of Oz’s groupies and do her till he finally comes over with the goods,” Cordelia agreed with Willow’s sentiment.

The two girls looked at each other, and then both shuddered.  “I can’t believe I’m starting to like /you/,” Willow muttered, thinking of all the times Cordelia sliced her self-esteem to ribbons tossed the remains over to Cordettes for them to play with, before dancing on the remains.

“Yeah, same here.  Let’s just find a werewolf so we can work off some of our excess energy,” Cordelia suggestion nauseated at bonding with the school nerd dork girl.

“Yeah, and quick,” Willow added and they turned to their left, hoping to have better luck there.

*****

Buffy walked back up to Giles, and said, “You won’t believe what I just saw.  Brittany Podelle was making out with Owen Stadeal, but he goes with Bara Williams.  If she ever fou- . . .” Buffy paused as she saw Giles’ incredulous look.  “Uh, no sign of the Werewolf.  You?”

“The same,” Giles answered calmly.  “I’m thinking we should ask if anyone saw anything.”

“Giles, nobody saw anything,” Buffy said pointedly, looking over to her left to a car with steamed windows and vague motions behind them of two people kissing.

“Ah, yes, of course, I meant the others,” Giles answered again.

Buffy looked up at him, and pointed out, “If they saw a werewolf, they’d either have already bagged it and come find us, or screaming where it’s fleeing for us to intercept it.”

Giles nodded a little embarrassed, “Yes-yes, of course.  I guess we continue looking.”

Buffy nodded and then turned around to go to a place where she hadn’t looked yet. Passing some cars she entered no man’s land and looked left and right carefully.  She should have looked down instead, now she felt something odd under her feat.  Looking down too late she was suddenly yanked up, and Buffy gave out a scream with surprise and a little fright.  A moment later she was hanging some two meters above the ground in a net.  “Ah, what the!?” Buffy exclaimed looking around the net as best she could - the net kept her body in an uncomfortable twisted position, and there was hardly any room to move.  She jerked and pulled at the net but it didn’t budge.

“Gotcha!”  Buffy turned her head down as best she could and looked at a man in brown leather pointing a gun at her.  “What the . . .?” he muttered.

“Giles!  Giles!” Buffy called out.

Giles came out and said, “Hey!  What do you think you’re . . .whoaw!”  Giles raised his arms when he saw the gun pointing at him.

“I’m the one with the gun, so I get to do the interview,” the man said coolly.

“Hey,” Buffy brought the attention to her.  “Before we get all chummy, could somebody get me out of here.”

The man rolled his eyes in annoyance and pulled a knife from the inside of his coat.  A moment later he cut the rope, and Buffy fell down.  “Oof,” she muttered and got up.

Now having a better look, the man noticed just how sexy and young Buffy was, and said, “You go, guy.”

Buffy abruptly stopped wiping the dirt from her clothes, while Giles jerked his head sharper to the man and asked, “Excuse me?”

“I know one needs to pluck them while they’re young, but . . .” the man continued with a smirk.

“You take that back,” Giles snarled, while the man raised his arms in innocence.

At the same time Buffy grabbed Giles’ arm to keep him from pummeling the rude guy into the hospital, saying gently, “Giles.”

“Hey,” the guy started with admiring smile, “far be it for me to tell what a man and a girl should be doing in lover’s lane . . .”

“It’s not like that, gutter brain,” Buffy said, placing herself fully in front of Giles restraining him.  “I’m Buffy and this is Giles, who are you?”

The guy smirked and made a disbelieving nod.  “I’m Kane.  So what are you two doing here?”

“Uh,” Buffy said, suddenly not so big, wondering if she should tell the truth, or let the guy think she and Giles . . . EW!  “We’re hunting werewolves,” she said steadily, wondering at the guy’s reaction while thinking, *Werewolves!  Werewolves!  Don’t think about the guy’s icky suggestion!  Think werewolves.  Don’t . . . AAH!*

Buffy expected a lot of reactions from Kane, not the belly laughter.  Pouting she answered, “It’s funny if you don’t believe in werewolves”

“No, I believe in werewolves.  It’s funny thinking of you catching one,” Kane told them with a wide grin.  “You look like a librarian, and you . . . well, you’re a girl.”

“I assure you, Buffy is quite capable,” Giles said offended at Kane questioning his Slayer’s abilities.

Kane snickered and asked, “Well, little girl, just how many of these monsters did you catch?”

“Uh?  As of today?” Buffy asked him with an uncertain look.

Kane pulled on his necklace which was a rope with teeth mounted on them.  “Whenever I kill a werewolf, I take one of his teeth.  If I kill this one, it’ll be an even dozen.”

“You kill werewolves?” Buffy asked a little disgusted.

“Yeah, on account that their fur fetches a pretty penny in Sri Lanka and it’s so difficult skinning them when they’re alive,” Kane told her with a grin, obviously proud of his accomplishments.

Giles was shocked, and made it known by demanding, “You kill werewolves for sport!?”

“No!” Kane exclaimed his grin widening even more.  “I’m in it purely for the money.”

Buffy looked at him with disbelief and asked, “And you don’t have a problem with the fact that they’re human twenty-eight days out of the month?”

Kane leaned toward her a bit as if sharing a secret conspiratorially, and said, “That’s why I kill them only the other three.”  He then gathered up his things, and asked, “I don’t suppose you know where boys and girls get together around here, do you?”

“You looking for a party?” Buffy asked, her disbelief growing, while Giles just looked stoically, attempting to keep his more violent impulses in check.

“No, but the werewolf is, it’s a sucker for that whole sexual heat thing.  And if this little doggy isn’t here, it’s found another place.  I don’t suppose you know anything?” Kane spoke gruntingly.

“Nope,” Buffy said shaking her head far too innocently.

“Thought so,” Kane replied, turned around and left.

Once he was gone, Buffy turned around and pulled Giles along, saying, “Come on, I’ve got an idea where it might be.”

“Uh, what about the others?” Giles asked her a little confused.

Buffy said seriously, “Let them keep looking here.  If Mr. Professional overlooked something, they might find it still.  The werewolf might double back too.”

“Right,” Giles answered.

*****

“I still don’t get it.  Is she that cruel, or that stupid?” Willow complained again as they walked around searching and still hadn’t found anything.

“Stupid, definitely stupid,” Cordelia commented relaxedly, walking along looking around. Plenty of cars with kissing couples, and a bit more than kissing . . . but no werewolf.

Willow smiled for a moment, then her smile faltered.  “Still Lotion.”

“Hey, you can just cast a glamour on yourself, go as Lotion to Xander, should make it easy to figure out if he gives Lotion hand jobs,” Cordelia said with a sneaky smile.

Willow’s eyes widened more and more with excitement at Cordelia’s eyes than faltered. “No, wouldn’t work.  Lotion is much taller than me, and other areas.  Glamour just- . . .” Willow abruptly stopped and her eyes widened.  “Oh . . . oh!  Oh!  Cordelia, you’re brilliant.”

“Of course I am,” Cordelia answered automatically.  “Wait, why again?”

“This will allow Xander to experience menstruation!” Willow said with a big grin.

“Huh?”  Cordelia said in confusion.  “What?  What’s that got to do with anything!?  And eew, a boy menstruation?”

“Lexa really, and you know, big brain, we make weird connections sometimes,” Willow said with a big grin, stopping for a bit.

Cordelia nodded, thinking it over, and then said, “I still don’t get it.”

“Don’t worry, I don’t think you’re stupid, just a bit challenged,” Willow told her with a smirk.  Cordelia glared at her, as the two started up again, looking for a werewolf.

*****

The Bronze was open tonight, as it was nearly every night.  Thus, there were teens around that were dancing, flirting, drinking, making out - full on human mating rituals every moment.  A girl sat on a guy’s lap on a couching kissing him gently . . . till he screamed, tossed her off his lap and bolted like a girl.

The girl landed painfully on the floor, exclaiming, “Hey . . . !”  She trailed off when her eyes looked up to see a furry snout, and four rows of very sharp teeth.  “AAAH!!!” she screamed and tried to scramble away, grasping the couch to pull herself up.

The werewolf growled and grabbed her by her shirt, pulling her up to bite into her neck and kill her instantly.  The girls kept screaming, screaming for help.  But all the kids ran in fear. The werewolf opened its mouth wide.

A blonde whirlwind slammed with her right foot into the werewolf, making it fly off to its right, yelping in pain.  Buffy grabbed the girl and pulled her behind her toward Giles who dragged her to safety further, while Buffy quipped, “Now, now, bashing over the head and dragging a girl off to your cave is a big no no these days.  You wish to get a girl, buy her flowers, chocolates, and learn a vocabulary.”

Not surprisingly the werewolf just growled and attacked Buffy by leaping at her.  Buffy rolled back, and caught the beast on her feet, kicking it off to her left, where it slammed against the winding stairs going up to the second level and fell to the floor.  “Giles,” Buffy said reaching out her left hand.  Giles quickly tossed a chain to Buffy who grabbed it, and started twirling one end above her head, waiting for the beast to get up.  Which it did at that moment, turning around and growling at Buffy.  The Slayer swung and the chain slung around the werewolf’s neck.  Buffy gripped the chain, but the wolf got angry, growling and gripping the chain pulling.

“Ugh,” Buffy muttered attempting to hold the wolf without choking it too death.  Then she leaped forward with the intent to slam the wolf down and wrap it in chains.  Unfortunately for Buffy, the wolf had decided on about the same tactic, and so she dove along as the wolf sailed right over her with a growl.  “Damn it,” she muttered before the chain whipped tight in her hands and she landed face first into the ground.  She still held the chain, but her grip had loosened, and as the wolf yanked again with a howl, the chain slipped, and fell from the werewolf’s neck, which then bolted and ran off through an open side door.

Buffy ran toward the door and looked left and right.  “Shit,” she cursed.  “It got away.”

“Yes, well, that’s quite unfortunate,” Giles answered as he reset his glasses.  Buffy turned to look at him.

*****

A short while later the police were around, investigating the place where a wild dog attacked teenagers.  Buffy and Giles were present as were Willow, Cordelia, Lotion and Xander.

“We didn’t find anything,” Lotion said softly to the others.  “We combed the streets around the Bronze, but nothing.”

“Yeah, it seems Mr. Big Bad Wolf had enough for the night after tangling with the Slayer,” Willow added in, giving Buffy a proud smile.

Kane appeared in the doorway and walked over to the group.  He took in the six of them, holding different types of chains and nets - but no werewolf.  “So, you let it get away, I’m not surprised,” the werewolf hunter said with a smile.

Buffy gave him a sour look as she answered, “I did not /let/ it get away.”

“Another bunch of girl wannabe hun- gagh,” Kane started.  Lotion standing a few centimeters taller than the hunter had reached over, wrapped her right hand lightning fast around Kane’s neck and pulled him off the floor.

“I am /not/ a girl, I am an Amazon.  And so are the other ‘girls’,” Lotion said to the hunter menacingly.

He nodded, as his head grew red with the need for air.  Lotion put him down and folded her arms across her chest while the Scoobs took in Lotion’s actions with mixed expressions. Buffy’s was amused, happily enjoying one of the rare moments she liked having Lotion around.

Kane felt his neck looking at Lotion with new admiration, and then said, “Well, you should have killed it while you had the chance.”  He indicated the gun lining the right side of his brown leather duster.  “Anyone it eats goes on your head,” Kane finished pointing at Buffy and then turned around and walked off.

“I hate that guy,” Buffy said slowly.

“He does have a point,” Cordelia said and everyone looked at her.  “I’m just saying . . .”

“Lethal force, wouldn’t have allowed the werewolf to get away,” Xander added solemnly, “if it does kill again.”

The others looked down thinking.  “We mustn’t think like that,” Giles said with authority. “One human life is not more valuable than the other, and although one can kill in self-defense, we are not responsible for whatever this beast does or does not do.  We gave it our best shot. I will say though, or non-lethal techniques are too slow, I think.”

“Uh, what do you mean, Giles?” Willow asked, looking as confused as the others.

“I have an idea, you’ll see,” Giles said, and started to leave, gesturing the others along, and so they did.

*****

A nice grass patch.  A bush to keep the grass directly behind it from sight of the road.  Behind the bush, in the grass lay Daniel ‘Oz’ Osbourne - naked.  He woke up and looked around.  He frowned taking in his naked state on top of the weird place he woke up in.  “Huh,” he commented to himself.

*****

The next day Oz came walking into the school looking around as if they all looked at him.  He soon reached the library and entered, seeing the Scooby Gang was sitting in the library, dejected.  “Damn it,” Buffy muttered again.  “I was so close.”  Oz looked from the standing Slayer to Willow, next to her Cordelia, and Xander next to that.  Opposite him sat Lotion.

“Don’t be so hard on yourself, Buff,” Xander said calmly, wearing stylish sunglasses. “You can’t catch ‘em all at the first try.”

“Indeed,” Giles said as he came from his office, “we gave it a good shot, it attacked no one so you seem to have scared it off for tonight, and I should have much more effective methods of catching this thing arriving before our hunt tonight.”

“Hi,” Oz greeted softly closing to the table.  He looked at Cordelia who looked at him with an expression he couldn’t quite place.  As if she was hopeful, afraid and tried to pull off being completely disinterested at the same time.  “Uh, any news?”

“Hunted werewolf, pig-nosed girl let the killing machine get away,” Lotion explained with a minimum of words.

“Like I told the halfwit the other night, I did not /let/ it get away!” Buffy exclaimed with righteous indignation.

“Potatoes, potatoes,” Lotion said, giving the first word the American pronunciation and the second the British one.  Buffy grumbled.

“But, uh, nobody got hurt?  Scratched or bitten?” Oz asked coolly but with some concern.

“No, we’re all fine, and it doesn’t seem the wolf got anything last night either,” Willow answered the guitar player, looking at him.

“In the mean time, I think we should focus on attempting to find the wolf in human clothes,” Xander said with a serious expression and got up.

“And how do you expect to do that?” Buffy said as she walked over annoyed and sat down on Lotion’s side of the table.  “Put down a bowl of dog food and go, ‘Here, wolfie, wolfie’?”

“No,” Xander answered with an annoyed look, and the irritated Slayer just shrugged.  “I can get into its head.” Oz looked at Xander.

“On account of you being taken over by a hyena once,” Willow half asked, half stated. Oz’s eyes were a tiny bit bigger, starting to think Xander might be able to pull this off.

“You were possessed by a hyena?” Lotion asked with admiration.

“I thought you said you didn’t remember anything from that?” Buffy asked him, much less irritated now, half amused, and half interested.

“Ah, well, yeah, uh, thought it would be easier for you two to deal with what the hyena did if you thought I didn’t know what I did,” Xander muttered out quickly.  Buffy’s eyebrows went up, and then smirked half-grateful, half-evilly at him, making him swallow.  He quickly closed his eyes to concentrate

Buffy then turned her head, and looked at Willow.  “Hey!” she exclaimed.  “You already knew!”  Xander’s eyes opened again at the exclaim, somewhat annoyed he was once again interrupted.

Willow shrugged and said, “Yeah, Xander told me just after he showed us Lexa and him were one of the same.  Did the whole confession, guilt trip, crying, bonding night.  Was actually quite a great, and fun bonding moment . . .”  Willow trailed off and then noticed everyone looking at her.  “Well, you know, in a dreary depressive sort of way,” she added somewhat embarrassed, but kept smiling.

“Can we finally get on with this!?” Cordelia exclaimed with extreme annoyance.

“Yes,” Lotion jumped into the conversation, “I am getting impatient, I want to see future husband show his tracking skills.”

“Quiet then,” Xander added and everyone stopped talking.  He closed his eyes, put his hands in front of him, and said, “I’m big, I’m bad, I’m snarling and growling.”  Xander made snarling and growling sounds as everyone Giles included and Oz the most so looked on transfixed.  Xander suddenly snapped his eyes open, and said, “Of course, I got it, it’s been standing in front of us this whole time!”  Oz’s eyes widened significantly now, but stayed silent - any other man would have cracked.

Everyone else looked at him in anticipation, and he said, “It’s Larry!”  Oz let the breath he hadn’t realized he was holding out.  “He’s got the dog bite, the aggressive tendencies and his excessive back hair, he must be it,” Xander explained convinced he was right.  The others nodded in agreement.  “Well then, I’ll go and confront him,” Xander said and left the library.

“Yes, in the meantime, Willow, Cordelia, Lotion could you see if anyone else fits the profile?” Giles asked and then walked into his office.  Buffy got up and joined him.

Oz still stood there, wondering for a moment if this was all a cruel joke, and Xander was just about coming back to expose him.  “Oz,” Cordelia called out, and Oz looked up into Cordy’s eyes.  “I’m going to be doing this till tonight.  Would you wanna, uh, help me?”

“Uh, no,” Oz said casually, “I’ve got stuff to do . . . which I’ll go do right now.  Yeah.” He pointed behind him with his thumbs and then turned around walking off.

Cordelia looked dejected, and Willow nudged the queen.  “Hey, don’t worry, I’m sure it’s nothing.  He’ll be all over you in no time,” Willow soothed the cheerleader.

“You’re stupid, sitting here pining away for nothing.  Did you see me take that kind of behavior?  Hell, no, I went after Xander, I pursue him.  You’re just sitting here like a limp bag of potatoes.  I thought you joined us?” Lotion said with annoyance.  Willow and Cordelia glared at her, and Lotion shrugged.  “Let’s just get on with werewolf profiling.”

“Okay,” Willow said, and then got up.  “I’ll be right back,” she said and quickly walked over to Giles’ office.  Willow opened the door, and said, “Buffy?”

The Slayer who was doing some kind of balance exercise while Giles read a book, looked up at Willow from her upside down position.  “Come on,” Willow said excitedly.  “Buffy can come with me for a moment, right?”  Buffy looked questioningly.

*****

A moment later in the ladies’ room after checking it was empty, Willow spilled the beans. “Buffy, remember, the whole menstruation thing, and Xander couldn’t do it?” Willow said excitedly.

“Uh, yeah, of course,” Buffy said wishing it had succeeded.

“Well, I think I have found a way to allow Xander from doing it after all,” Willow said with a big smile.

Buffy’s eyes lit up, and muttered, “Payback.”

“Uh, I’m in it to help Xander,” Willow muttered a bit taken aback.

“I know, Will,” Buffy answered with a smile and let her hand fall on Willow’s shoulder, “But I’m in it for the revenge.”  Willow’s eyes widened at Buffy’s grin.

*****

Men’s locker room

Larry was readying to take of his sweaty clothes so he could go into the shower, standing in front of his blue locker in a row of blue lockers.  “Well, hello there, Larry, how’s it going?” Xander asked with a grin as he came up behind him.

Larry turned around and said pissed off, “Harris.”

“I know your secret, Lar,” Xander said, still grinning, stepping close to Larry.  “You might as well fess up.”

“And then what!?” Larry said growling, taking a step closer.  “You’re going to tell it across the school, huh?”

“No, I’m here to help,” Xander said disarmingly, not that that helped much.

“What!?  How do you think you can help!?  And don’t think that just because you’re now Mr. Cool Myagi that I’m suddenly scared of you, punk.  That one time you got lucky,” Larry said angrily, seriously not showing any fear, at least not from Xander’s fists.

“You need help, man, before it goes sour, and the first thing you have to do is admit you have a problem,” Xander told him, putting his right hand friendly on Larry’s shoulder.

“I can’t tell!” Larry spoke up, starting to pace.  “If I tell they’ll run me out of town!  No one will want me anymore.”

“Listen, I know what you’re going through, since I’ve gone through the same thing, I can help,” Xander said seriously, thinking of how to chain or lock Larry up for three days out of the month.

Larry turned around and faced Xander.  “How can I do that!?  I can’t tell everyone I’m gay!”  Xander’s jaw dropped slightly, blinking in surprise.  “There, I said it, I’m gay!  And it’s not bad, it feels good.  I’m gay.”  Larry walked over to the stunned Xander and placed a brotherly arm of himself on Xander’s shoulder.  “Thanks, man.  That actually freed me up so much.  Knowing that you’re gay too, and went through the same thing, made that so much easier.  And it’s such a good feeling to come clean with myself.”

“Ah, yeah, about that.  Bisexual to be precise, me that is,” Xander said nervously, surprised at big bad football star Larry, super crude heterosexual was really gay.

Larry nodded, and said, “Your secret is safe with me, Harris.  You know, all the times I beat you up before your upgrade, I must have seen something in you that I didn’t want to admit about myself.”

“Uh, yeah, must have,” Xander said weakly, and then Larry turned around and walked toward the showers.  Xander turned around himself, and walked toward the exit, “Not exactly secret.  Okay, that didn’t go as planned.”

*****

Oz was in his home, a phone to his ear.  “Hi, aunt Maureen.  Listen, the reason I called is, is cousin Jordy a werewolf?”  Oz listed to the answer and said, “Huh.  And how long has that been going on? . . . hmm.  Thanks, bye.”  He hung up the phone, and looked at it pensively for a moment.

*****

Xander walked back into the library, still stunned at the revelation.  “Ah, Xander, is Larry the werewolf?”

Xander stopped as he finished taking the few steps to the lower level of the library, and took in the Scooby Gang searching using the computer.  Buffy and Lotion were standing behind Cordelia and Willow and they looked up to look at Xander, while Cordelia and Willow bent to the right and left to look past the computer.  “It’s pretty safe to say he isn’t,” Xander said slowly.

Buffy nudged Willow, then nudged her again.  Finally Willow got up and said, “Uh, Xander.”  Xander looked suspiciously as Buffy’s face split into an evil grin.  Willow continued, “I know a way you can be Lexa for a month.  A glamour, one tied to an object, a ring or something.  Jenny and I still have to make it, but just rubbing it once should make you look like Xander whenever you need to.  You’d have to look out a bit with your breasts, but . . .”

Xander’s face deflated with every word, while Buffy’s grin grew with every word.  Giles was busy furiously cleaning his glasses.  “WHAT THE HELL!?” Cordelia exclaimed in confusion.

Buffy turned to Cordelia and said innocently, “Yep, Xander wanted to explore what’s like being a girl remember?  And not just toying with us girls?  What better way to explore it?  He just had to be Xander during a month, so he couldn’t do it, but now . . .”  Cordelia looked at Buffy in disbelief.  The blonde then turned her head and looked with an innocent but smug smile at Xander, who wondered how the hell Buffy could pull that off.

“Willow,” Xander whined.

“I was trying to help, you did say you wanted to,” Willow said, looking down guiltily, which made her good enough to eat in her short skirt and low-cut blouse - like a seeming innocent girl with dirty, guilty secrets.

“Fine!  Whip it up, but you two are going to teach me everything there is to know about going through it, because if you think I’m going in it blind and make a fool of myself, you can forget it,” Xander pointed at Willow and Buffy accusingly.

“Sure, of course we will, Xan,” Willow said immediately and somehow detected Buffy’s pout.  She turned around to look at the blonde, and said tersely, “We /will/, Xan.”

“We’ll help, Xander,” Buffy said quickly, not liking the death glare Willow sent her way.

“I’ll help too,” Lotion said proudly.  “Future husband is an even greater man than mother gave him credit for, and will be an even greater still.”  Willow and Buffy gave Lotion a death glare about her continuing to call Xander her future husband, but Lotion was completely oblivious to them, so they gave up with a sigh.

Cordelia abruptly got up, and nodded.  “You’re right, Lotion,” Cordelia said with a determined look, making them all look at her confused.  “I’m Cordelia Chase, Queen of Sunnydale.  If I want a guy, I can’t be sitting around pining like some losers I know.  I gotta take charge.  So what if he’s mister Super Cool, so what he’s mysterious hot guy who knows me so well, and helps me out.  I’m going to go over there, and demand he spend time with me, or he’s going to get his ass dumped.”  With that Cordelia got up, and walked out of the library, making everyone follow her with their eyes.

“Go Cordelia!” Willow said supportively making a fist in the air.  Everyone looked at her now.  “What?” she asked.

“Correct me if I’m wrong, Willow,” Xander asked his oldest friend with a smile, “but weren’t you the president of the I-hate-Cordelia club?”

“Well, people can change, people can grow,” Willow defended herself, and Buffy put her arm around her.

“Don’t worry, Will, I’ll let you grow without awkward questions,” Buffy said supportively.

Willow turned her head to Buffy and said annoyed, “I meant Cordelia.  I will never be a hateful popular girl, like /some/ people I know.”

“Hey!” Buffy answered annoyed.

“Right,” Xander commented, knowing not to get in between the cat fight about to start, and that also included not being elected the referee.  Besides, Buffy and Willow were good friends, they’d not really hurt each other that badly, and they wouldn’t take each other’s words too seriously, they’d have made up before long - but not before they put him in between the two if he didn’t get out of her quickly.  “Hey, Lotion, let’s go get some food before we go werewolf hunting.  Can’t do that on an empty stomach.”

“Sure, Xander,” Lotion said with a grin and walked to him with swaying hips.  Xander turned around and offered his arm which she took happily and they walked out the door as Lotion placed a kiss on his cheek.

“This is all your fault,” Willow accused Buffy indicating the leaving couple.

“Why?” Buffy returned annoyed.

Giles, not being stupid, fidgeted a bit looking for a good way out.  “I’ll be . . . in my office, yes,” he said and quickly disappeared from the main library area closing the door behind him.

Willow and Buffy looked around suspicious, and then Buffy said, “Why do you think they all left us?”

“Because you’re a doody head?” Willow asked her.

“And what does that make you?  Doody flirt in a skirt,” Buffy returned.

Willow chuckled at Buffy and said, “You helped me pick out this outfit.”

“You’re the one wearing it,” Buffy returned, making Willow glare at her.

*****

Ten minutes later after having had a tasty few sandwiches Xander and Lotion returned to the library, finding Buffy and Willow giggling together behind the computer.  Xander grinned, glad he was right in his assessment and noticed Giles was absent.  “Where did Giles go?” Xander asked as he and Lotion walked over to join them.

“Oh, he went out a couple of minutes ago, said his order had arrived,” Buffy said stopping her giggling with some difficulty.

Xander nodded and walked over to the two best friends, Lotion coming along.  They sat down and waited as Buffy and Willow continued their search, but soon gave up.  “This isn’t working,” Willow complained in annoyance.  “I don’t think the human has a profile anyway, other than having gotten a bite wound recently.”

“Yeah,” Buffy said and then pouted at Xander, “Doody head.”  She tossed a piece of eraser at him, which he caught.

“Doody head?  Willow, what have you done to Buffy?” Xander asked mock stern.

“Yeah, what did you . . . wait, why should I care?” Lotion said brightly.

Xander turned to look at her, and asked, “Because you want to marry me someday?”

“Right!  What did you do to Buffy?” Lotion repeated the question quickly.  Buffy and Willow giggled.

“Enough with the chit chat,” Giles voice sounded as he entered the library with a small backpack on his back.  Xander and Lotion turned around as Buffy and Willow looked up. Giles came in holding three rifles, then tossed one rifle to Xander, the second to Buffy and held onto the third himself.  Buffy and Xander caught them easily and examined them with frowns. The rifles weren’t ordinary rifles, being quite wide and short.  Buffy was about to ask about the no killing thing when Giles pulled his backpack off, and placed a box from it on the counter. He opened it, revealing darts.  “There’s enough tranquilizers in one dart to down a small elephant, it should be enough for a big werewolf,” Giles explained, and loaded his rifle with one of them.  “I think it’s best I take Lotion, Buffy takes Willow and you Xander go alone.”

“Gotcha, G-man,” Xander said, getting up.  He walked over to the box and took out several darts, and loading the gun with one smoothly.  “I need to explain the thing to you, Buff?”

Buffy came over taking a dart from the box and repeated the actions she saw Xander and Giles do.  “Now just pull the trigger, right?” Buffy asked brightly as Willow and Lotion joined them.

“Nope,” Xander said and reached for the side of her gun, flipping the safety.  “Now you pull the trigger,” Xander said and flipped the safety back on.

“It’s the safety, Buffy,” Giles explained casually as Buffy frowned at the switch.  “With it on, you can’t fire, keeps you from accidentally shooting yourself in your own arse.”

“Right,” Buffy said with an embarrassed smile.

“All right,” Lotion exclaimed, “let’s go werewolf hunting.”

“Not quite yet,” Giles interrupted and pulled three professional walkie talkies from the bag.  He handed one to Xander, one to Willow and the last to Lotion.  “They should be powerful enough to stay in contact throughout Sunnydale.  If you find something, contact the rest of us.”

They nodded, agreeing with Giles’ leadership decisions.  “/Now/ can we go catch a werewolf?” Lotion asked impatient.

*****

Oz opened a box and took in the chains.  He gave a determined nod and started pulling them out, then the door bell rang.  He hesitated for a moment between the door and the chains, then decided on the door.  He walked over and opened it, “Cordelia.”

“Hi,” Cordelia said and walked in right away.

“Cordelia, this is not . . .” Oz started.

But Cordelia talked straight through his words, “Listen, Oz.  I’m Cordelia Chase, I do not sit somewhere and pine away for someone.”  She reached the living room, and walked into it, taking it in while she talked.  A couch right in front of her, a low table and more couches and chairs behind it.  Left the living room went onward, a higher table there with chairs.  There in the left corner was a door and counter showing the white kitchen behind it.  She turned to face Oz who had walked after.  At the entrance of the living room was a pillar and another counter, for which Cordelia couldn’t discern a purpose.  “I know you’re Mr. Cool and Untouched and everything, but I’m your girlfriend, and I demand a section of your time that does amount to blowing me off and telling me nothing.”

“Cordelia, this is not the right time, I’m going through some changes, and . . .” Oz started.

Cordelia interrupted him, “Oh, big deal!  And I’m not!?  What, you got amnesia or something?  Killed a human remember?  Actively fighting the forces of darkness by chopping their heads off.  Quite some changes for the airhead cheerleader captain - scary changes.”

Oz took Cordelia by the arm after a step forward and gently pulled her along back toward the door while saying, “This is different, trust me.  It’s phy- oah!”  Oz half doubled over, grabbing his chest.

“Oz?” Cordelia said suddenly, nothing but concern in her voice.

He let go of Cordelia and backed up, trying to put as much distance between him and his girlfriend, grunting, “Oh, no.”  He bumped against the couch and as he fell over it, he said, “Cordelia, run!  Ugghhh!”

“OZ!” Cordelia screamed in fright and walked over quickly, peering over the couch.  Her eyes widened in shock as she saw Oz’s skin and clothes burst open and fur covering him quickly as he grew in size, as well as a snout and pointy ears on his head, the eyes became that of a predator.  “Oh, shit,” she muttered, and then Ozwolf jumped to his hind feet, and growled - he seemed hungry and looking at her.  “AAH!” Cordelia screamed, backing away in surprise, falling to her ass, and scrambling backward.  Ozwolf jumped forward, intending to land on Cordelia, and eat her.  “IIIEEE!” Cordelia screeched and kicked her foot up, catching the werewolf in his chin and it stumbled back.  Cordelia got up, and ran out into the kitchen, screaming, “HELP!  HELP!”  The door out the house lead to the forest, and Cordelia ran into it, passing trees as she heard a growling bark behind her.  Oz was after her.  “Oh, god. HELP!”

*****

Xander walked through the forests and parks of Sunnydale, looking left and right.  Suddenly he got a really weird sensation, the sensation of chi suddenly bursting in strength and then changing.  “What the . . .?” Xander muttered and looked to the right from where it came. Then his eyebrows raised in revelation, and said, “That must be . . .”

Distant screams assaulted his ears, so distant he couldn’t recognize them as Cordelia’s, but it did confirm his suspicion.  “Oh, yeah,” he said as he started running in the direction from where it came.  “That’s the wolfy all right,” he said and pulled out the walkie talkie.

*****

Cordelia ran in fright, Oz close on her heals.  She wove left and right through the trees so the beast would have more difficulty finding her.  “Oh, my god, oh, my god,” Cordelia muttered to herself.  Then she blinked, a thought of embarrassment and annoyance.  “What am I doing?” she asked herself suddenly.  “I may not be a Slayer, but I’m not a weakling, not anymore.” She stopped herself from running sliding a bit, and turned around, facing the onrushing wolf. “The bitch is back,” Cordelia snarled as she made a fist, unconsciously baring her teeth, and readied to face her wolfed out boyfriend.

Ozwolf suddenly skidded to a halt, and looked with surprise and confusion at the suddenly dangerous looking snack.  Since when did a scared little snack suddenly turn around and readied to face you?  That didn’t make sense, so it leaped with a growl.

Cordelia roared with anger and slammed a right kick in the wolf’s chest making it fall back and roll.  It rolled itself back up, and looked more wearily at the snack.  Cordelia was fed up with the thing.  “You sit right this instant,” she commanded with an angry rumble in her voice. “I’m your girlfriend, your mate, your god damned bitch in so many ways you can’t even count - of course you can’t count.  You do not eat your mate, you hear that you dumb, overgrown dog!  I’m Cordelia Chase, Queen of Sunnydale High, and I do /NOT/ tolerate this shit.  I’m not a battered victim girlfriend, you got that!?  You’re my bitch now, Oz.  Now you stop this crap right now, and heel!”

Ozwolf shrank back a bit at the tirade, the angry tone piercing it’s primitive brain, as well as a few basic choice words that it somehow managed to grasp through the human side of him, while at same time not really.  Words like ‘mate’, and ‘not’, and ‘eat’.  It sniffed, and what it smelled didn’t quite make sense.  No longer in the mood to play this game, Ozwolf leaped forward once again.

“Are you deaf!?” Cordelia screamed pulling her fist back and throwing a vicious right hook.  “I said, *HEEL*!”  Her fist collided with the werewolf’s jaw, and it tumbled back. Cordelia attacked Oz snarling angrily.

*****

Xander was running quickly through the forest, and he was joined by now by the others, but he, Buffy and Lotion, left Giles and Willow quickly behind them.

“Say, aren’t we going toward Oz’s house?” Lotion said as she ran onward.

Buffy’s eyes widened, “Oh, my god!  Cordelia!”

The three of them sped up, and reached a small clearing.  With difficulty they forced themselves to stop as a smiling Cordelia appeared on the other side, with something growling loudly behind her.  Even slightly disheveled, Cordelia looked impeccable.

 “Cordelia!  Look out!” Xander called out frightened for Cordelia’s well being as a really big werewolf stepped out next to her.  He and Buffy were already aiming the tranquilizer rifles.

“Quiet, Oz!” Cordelia commanded, freezing Xander’s and Buffy’s trigger fingers with surprise.

Oz kept growling, and Cordelia growled, “OZ!  Sit, boy!”  The wolf looked up, and at seeing the angry glare, it quickly sat down, looking subservient up at her, begging with sad eyes for not another beating.  Although that wasn’t visible; the wounds had already healed on the supernatural beast.  Willow and Giles arrived breathing hard, and stayed nailed to floor, as surprised as the other three.  Cordelia continued lecturing the Ozwolf, “They’re good folk, friends.  We do not attack friends, understand, Oz?”  Ozwolf nodded his head, and Cordelia then grabbed him by his head, rubbing the fur happily and rubbing her cheek against the top of his head, and said, “That’s a good Ozwolfie, yes, you’re a good Ozwolfie.”  The wolf breathed heavily through its mouth, showing his contentment along with its wagging tail.

Xander and Lotion shook their heads to try and see if what they were seeing was real. Giles managed to recover earlier than the rest, resetting his glasses and muttered, “Yes . . . well . . . this is . . . this is . . . unexpected . . . and unprecedented.”

Willow was next, throwing her hands in the air in defeat, saying, “Figures!  Just figures! That Cordelia is a big enough bitch to tame a werewolf!”

“H-how did you manage that?” Xander muttered gesturing to the wolf in complete disbelief and shock.  “It’s a werewolf.”

As Cordelia continued hugging her boyfriend, she said, “Like Giles said; Oz is just an overgrown dog running on his instincts, I just needed show him who’s his alpha female.  Isn’t that right, Oz?  Yueah.”

“Indeed,” Giles said, attempting to look away at the rather intimate scene.

“This is . . . ugh,” Buffy muttered, still not believing it.  Lotion folded her arms across her chest, and just glared in annoyance at Cordelia and Oz.

Xander noticed the glint off to his right first.  He ran, and jumped.  A moment later a shot ran out, while his feet pushed the gun off the course.  Kane looked in annoyance at Xander, who albeit having hit the gun that flew from Kane’s arms as he sat huddled between bushes, couldn’t control his momentum.  He tumbled onward falling into the bushes, yelling in annoyance at getting pricked.  A moment later there was an angry inhuman growl, and a big bad wolf, with a chest to wide for one, but wide enough for a human collided with Kane’s chest.  “AAH!” Kane yelled out in pain and slammed into the ground with Oz above him.  With a roar the wolf bit down toward Kane’s neck.

“OZ STOP!” Cordelia screamed as she ran over to the powerful wolf and the werewolf hunter.  The other Scoobies came over as well, while Xander started to extradite himself from the prickly bushes with a grunt.

Oz closed his mouth, rows of sharp teeth falling into each other and visible as he growled dangerously at Kane who looked directly into the yellow predator eyes of the grey wolf.  Oz didn’t understand now; this was an enemy, one that tried to attack his mate and mistress from where he was sitting, and he still wasn’t allowed to kill?  “We don’t kill humans, Oz!” Cordelia said, squatting down and stroking the werewolf’s fur.  “Demons, vampires and animals you can rip apart to your hearts’ content, but not humans; although tempted to make an exception.” Cordelia then started stroking and rubbing Oz, and said, “Good boy, very good.  I’m so very proud of you.”  Oz turned happily to Cordelia and started licking her face.  Cordelia giggled and opened her mouth, so Oz’s tongue also entered her mouth for a bit.  She then planted a kiss on Oz’s nose.

“What the fuck!?” Kane exclaimed in complete confusion.  A werewolf should be a cold-blooded killing machine, and now it was making out with a girl.  Kane started pulling himself backward from the scene and then felt pressure on his right shoulder.  He looked up and saw a menacing Xander having placed his right foot on his shoulder.

Xander unloaded the hunter’s rifle and handed it back to him.  Buffy came looking over Cordelia and Oz, hands in her side, and told Kane, “I don’t want to see you in my town again, you get me?  Or do I make you the wolf’s only exception?”

“I know when I’m not wanted,” Kane said in disgust, getting up.  He dusted off for a moment and took his empty gun back, then complained shaking his head, “Werewolf environmentalists.”  He turned around and as he started walking away he continued, “First they ban elephants and giraffe’s, then lions, now you can’t even kill werewolves anymore.  What’s next?  The League for Vampire Rights?”  He shook his head one final time before he disappeared out of sight.

Cordelia got up and with a smile stroked Oz’s fur.  Tentatively Willow did the same, and then smiled when she realized the wolf wasn’t going to shred her apart.  “Hey, he’s kinda nice once you get to know him,” Willow said continued to stroke the big animal, whose head came to her chest.

Lotion took in Cordelia’s handling of the wolf, and muttered, “This is disturbing.”

“Yeah, have to agree with Lotion there a bit,” Xander muttered, and Cordelia just shrugged.

“I’m not going to have sex with the wolf-side of him, Xander, unlike some people probably would,” Cordelia said, and gave Buffy a look, who turned her head painfully away.

“This uh . . . this is an interesting development,” Giles commented, resetting his glasses.

“You think?” Lotion asked him annoyed, folding her arms across her chest.

“Okay,” Cordelia said, and gestured for Oz to follow her.  “I’m gonna take him home, and give him that raw stake dinner I promised Oz.”  Oz growled impatiently.  “I know you’re hungry Ozwolf, just have patience,” Cordelia interjected rubbing the beast’s head.  She then turned to the others and asked, “Could you guys go to his house and bring us some clothes so he can put them on in the morning?  Thanks.”  Then she and Oz were off.

The rest of the Scoobies huddled together and looked at the two go.  “Unbelievable,” Xander commented a last time.  “She thanked us . . . in advance.”

*****

The next day Lexa found herself sitting in a stool nervously.  Buffy was in a chair next to her, a bag and dustpan and brush were on the table, and Giles was behind the counter preparing for his day as librarian.  On the ground sat Jenny and Willow.  They were across from each other, sitting within a pentagram made of salt.  A pair of candles were standing on each point of the star.  In the middle of the pentagram was a ring with a green gemstone, and next to it a full body picture of Xander.  The two witches chanted steadily.  The picture burst into flame, and was reduced to ashes a moment later.

“There,” Jenny said, breaking the chanting.  She took the ring and both witches rose to their feet.  She walked over and gave the ring to Lexa.  “It should work,” Jenny said with a smirk, remember how in disbelief she was over what was asked of her and why.

“Heh,” Lexa said nervously, and took the ring.  Willow got the dustpan and brush, and after extinguishing the candles started to brush up the salt.

Lexa put the ring on, and looked blankly.  “Okay, now rub the gem once and you should look like Xander, rub it again and you’re Lexa again,” Jenny explained to her.

Lexa nodded, and moved her left index finger across the gem once.  She looked down and said, “I don’t think it’s working.”

Buffy who had looked quite a bit amazed at the glamour, asked, “What do you mean you don’t think it’s working?”

“Well, I can still see my breasts,” Lexa commented dryly to Buffy with a look of disbelief at her question.

“That’s because you look directly at yourself,” Jenny explained casually as Willow finished brushing up the salt.  She looked and smiled at ‘Xander’.  Jenny fished something out of her purse, and held up the object which turned out to be a mirror.  “You look at yourself and you miss it, you’re too close.”  Lexa looked into the mirror and saw himself staring back at her.   She looked down at her female hands and her very female chest, and then back at Xander looking back at her from the mirror.

“Damn,” Lexa muttered.  “This is odd.”  She rubbed the ring, and she herself looked at herself again.  She tried it again a few times as Willow dumped the salt in a dustbin.  “Well, it works,” Lexa said.

“Indeed,” Giles said, and looking a bit queasy, “you are a greater man than I am, Xander, even though you’re female at the moment.”

“What’s the matter, Giles?” Buffy asked with a smirk.  “Stiff upper lip not stiff enough to handle a little menstrual cycle?”  Giles tried to come up with an answer as three girls and a woman looked at him expectantly, and then he gave up, shaking his head and disappeared into the office.  The four girls laughed.

“Oh, I better go ease his suffering a bit,” Jenny said with a smile, and then looked at the three girls.  She frowned and said, “I’ve said it before, but I can’t seem to feel as if I’ve ever said it enough, I’m sorry.”

“We know,” Lexa spoke, and then turned toward the door.  “Come on, girls, time to leave this dreary place.”  She held out her arms in a bend, and Willow and Buffy hooked their arms in hers.

“Lead on, oh woman among men,” Willow joked, and the threesome walked off.

*****

“Hi,” Oz greeted a little nervously as Cordelia in a lovely, short dress and wearing sunglasses came up to him.

“Hi,” Cordelia greeted back with a smile.

“Listen, I’m not too clear on exactly what happened last night.  I didn’t hurt you, right?” he asked with obvious concern, a rarity for the stoic guitarist.

“No, after I showed your wolf I was your mate and made that clear, he may still have wanted my body, but not to eat,” Cordelia answered him with a grin.  They started walking next to each other as Oz’s face did an actual double take, and then astounded look.  “Ooh, I so love coaxing an expression out of you,” Cordelia said with a smile.

“Uh, you, uh, still want to see if you and me . . . ‘cause I totally understand if you say we’re through,” Oz said to her, dreading the answer; still confused over what Cordelia’s joking meant.

“Oh, please, don’t think you can get away from me that easily buster,” Cordelia told him sternly, and he found himself nodding obediently automatically.  He frowned slightly, wondering where that came from.  Cordelia continued though, “Three nights out of the month you’re a cuddly overgrown pooch; three days out of the month, PMS turns me into a monster. I figure if you can put up with a monster, I can put up with a dog.”  Oz looked at her with raised eyebrows.  Cordelia smiled and kissed him deeply.

Behind them stood three girls that had listened in, two of them had to strain more than the other.  They looked on with awe.  “Did I just hear her claim that /only/ three days out of the month PMS /turns/ her into a monster?” Buffy said with disbelief, pausing for a few moments, “. . . ‘cause I was pretty much under the impression she’s a monster every single day.”

Willow nodded, and added, “And look at her face when she said it.  Completely straight, as if discussing the weather.”

“Yep,” Lexa agreed slowly, still in awe, “if we ever need someone to bullshit someone, we know who to ask.”  The three of them nodded.  Then they slowly got their bodies back to work, and walked off.

~~~~26~~~~

The Scoobs were sitting in the library, the afternoon after the OzWolf caper.  “I trust that your transformation back went without problems?” Giles asked of the Wolf as he stood in front of the table.  He was still trying to wrap his brain about a guy willing to be a girl for a month in order to test and experience a period.  Lexa was sitting relaxedly in a chair.  She had her legs crossed, but she wore a skirt short enough if one made a bit of an effort they could see in her crotch.  A tight sexy top finished her ensemble, liking not having to wear stuff that could fit both a male and a female him - clothes after all, came with the illusion.

“Everything that needs to be there is there, and any thing that shouldn’t be there, isn’t,” Oz answered steadily, feeling Cordelia’s arm snake around his neck and knowing she was smiling.

“You should train with us, Oz,” Lexa said, thinking of the night before.

“Why?” was Oz’s simple answer.

“I felt you transform,” Lexa said, thoughtfully.  “Just when the sun finished setting, just after I heard Cordelia’s scream, I felt a sudden spike of chi, which continued to grow and then alter somewhat.  By the time it was done there was so much I could feel it from a big distance; about the same height as Lotion’s, Buffy’s, and Ryoga’s energy if I concentrate.”

“Intriguing,” Giles said with a smile.

Lexa nodded and finished her explanation, “It seems your transformation is tied in with your chi; if you learn like us to control it, to use it - well it might help you control your wolf side . . . better.  At the moment it looks like only Cordelia’s bitchiness is what keeps the wolf in check.”

Cordelia looked over at Lexa for a moment, but then seemed to decide otherwise.  “Good idea, I’ll join,” Oz answered.

“Hmm,” Giles said, and everyone looked over at him, “this is a nice opportunity for a few questions.  Oz, have you noticed any changes or improvements in your human form?”

Oz frowned, thinking it over, and said, “Now that you mention it, I think there have been a few things that have gotten better since Jordy bit me.  I think they happened gradually so I didn’t notice them, and dismissed them when I did.”

“Well, what are they?” Lotion prompted impatiently.

Oz turned around to look at her for a moment, and then casually returned, not hurrying one bit.  “I think my smell has improved somewhat,” Oz said, taking a sniff, and then turned right.  He looked across the table where Willow in a pair of skintight jeans and a white top with a cute print ending just below her breasts sat next to Xander.  She had her legs leisurely on the ground, spread lightly.  She looked confused for a moment as he looked at her, then blushed furiously, crossing her legs quickly and looking away.  Oz casually returned to look forward, and nodding said, “Yes.”

Everyone looked at Willow for a moment with a frown, and most decided they didn’t want to know what Oz could smell on her for a variety of reasons many fitting multiple options.  “Anything else?” Giles prompted.

“I think I’m a little stronger, but not much.  Certainly not at their strength, or even Buffy’s before her training if I gauge it right from the stories,” Oz explained meticulously.  “I might be at Cordelia’s strength.”

“We could test that,” Cordelia pointed out, smiling and proud of her new boyfriend.

“Indeed, if you’re willing Oz, I could set up a few things to lift and smash and see,” Giles said thoughtfully, thinking it over.

“Am,” Oz said relaxedly.  Giles’ eyebrows raised looking at him.

“He says he’s willing,” Cordelia translated.

Buffy grinned at the whole proceeding and decided to butt in, “Cool.  Another fighter on the side of good.  The vampires better start shaking in their boots.  And Giles, I guess this means you get to wear that nifty ring.”

“I suppose,” Giles said.

“Are we done?  Goody,” Cordelia said and got up, the others quickly followed suit.

“Hey, Will,” Lexa said as the group left, leaving a befuddled watcher behind, “I’ve got some money left over, as well as a little extra subsidy seeing as they’re getting more and more important for a computer . . .”  Willow’s ears suddenly picked as she heard the word ‘computer’ and they went out the door.  “. . . and I was wondering if you would help me pick out the right one, with your expertise and all, as well as the internet connection and stuff, and the programs.”

Willow now turned, and in the middle of the corridor grabbed Lexa around the waist and pressed herself against her in a tight hug, landing her head on her chest using the breasts as cushions, and thus riding up against her, somehow managing to get out, “You’re the bestest best friend and potential girlfriend and boyfriend ever, mmmh.”

Lexa smirked in amusement and wrapped her arms around her, and replied, “Well, okay.”

“I should kill you for that,” Lotion said, looking down at Willow with narrowed eyes standing next to the two.  Willow opened her eyes, and hugging Lexa closer stuck out her tongue at Lotion.

Lotion started to growl and then Buffy grabbed the Amazon’s arm and pulled her along.   “Come on, you’ll get your chance, just don’t screw it up like I did, and you were about to,” Buffy said, and finally got Lotion to go along, thus helping Willow out.

*****

“Three thousand dollars?” Willow said with large, wide eyes, as she and Lexa walked along toward Sunnydale’s center where they’d find all the shows and the mall.  Lexa just nodded with a big grin.  Willow turned her head and looked up at her.  “Three thousand dollars, you can- . . . you can- . . . oh my, what a beauty of a computer.”

They had reached where the first shops started, and they past the first shop with a sun screen out.  A man came out with a bucket full of steaming water, apparently to go clean the windows or something.  Willow asked, “Can I have it!?  You’ll get the one I have now.”

“No,” Lexa answered with a smirk, just as the man tripped over something and the bucket went flying.  A large splash of warm water came at Lexa who ducked and jumped to the right in reflex.  A moment later the warm water splashed on the ground, having missed her.  “That was close; a bit more and I’d have to start at day zero again.”

“Yeah,” Willow muttered, but quickly returned to more important things.  “Come on, Lexa.  You’re not going to use it for the stuff you need that powerful machine; I do, and I’ll use it more often.”

“No,” Lexa interrupted as they reached the next shop, just as a wave of warm water came splashing from the second floor.  The only reason she had the time to jump forward, was because she rolled her eyes.

Willow was not so fortunate and was half wet.  “Ugh,” she muttered, throwing her left arm that was soaked through.  Lexa giggled, and Willow threw her a glare in response.

Lexa slowly put her laughter back under control, and said, “I’m gonna need an umbrella.” Lexa grabbed Willow and pushed her onward, the two walking next to each other again, this time Lexa was on the right side.  She said, “Come on, Willow, don’t be grumpy.  So you got wet, big deal.”

“Unsatisfied deal, wish there was a big one,” Willow muttered softly answering the double entendre.

“What did you say?” Lexa asked her best friend since kindergarten.

Willow blushed a bit, saying, “Nothing.”

“Well, stop being grumpy, remember the computer,” Lexa said with a large smile as the two of them walked onward past more shops; vegetable and fruit shops, a super market, but no computer shop yet.

Willow’s eyes lit up like a lighthouse instantly again, the water forgotten.  “Ooh,” Willow gave out, almost orgasmic - the fact that she was frustrated to be stuck with only one pair of hands in that area didn’t help one little bit.  “The computer, three thousand dollars, I’ll get you such an amazing one.  And you’re a bad friend for not taking mine and give this one to me. Aren’t we supposed to be best friends?”

“You won’t be if you keep that up.  If you want a 3,000 dollar computer, work for it, I work for a good chunk of my money,” Lexa told her strongly with slight smirk.

Willow slumped a bit as they walked onward, and she said pouting, “Go fill racks in a super market, huh?  Or get an early morning newspaper route?”  Lexa nodded, and then Willow added, “I could always fake an ID and go stripping.”

Lexa snapped her head down at Willow who looked much too innocent.  She laughed for a few moments.  “That’s my Willow,” Lexa said slinging an arm around the redhead’s waist and hugging her close, enjoying the feel of the skin of Willow’s bare midriff.

Willow for her part like the feel of fingers on her skin, she wished there was more of that. She looked to her right, and admired the hotness that was her potential boy/girlfriend.   Up ahead a woman emptied a bucket of warm water in the gutter.  Lexa dipped down and kissed Willow on the lips gently, not caring if anyone might see them - any gay bashers would find themselves bashed.  The warm water that was tossed formed small pools as it flowed down to a drain, and then a car splashed through one.  The sound made Lexa open her eyes, her tongue still intertwined with Willow’s, who gave a low moan.  Eyes suddenly wide, Lexa grabbed Willow closer and twisted the both of them out of the way with her not inconsiderable speed. Willow’s eyes widened and gave a yelp at the sudden movement, and then she found herself looking down alongside her best friend - at some steamy warm water.

“Okay, are you feeling a distinct sense of wrongness here?” Lexa asked Willow, looking at water bewildered.

Willow nodded, while quoting, “Once is an anomaly, twice is coincidence, thrice is a pattern.”

“That’s what I’m saying,” Lexa said nodding her head, looking around, “Someone out to end my experiment?  And who and for gods’ sakes why?”

“The curse,” Willow blurted suddenly and looked away from the water and up at Lexa who just looked dumbly down at her.  Willow looked around and noticed no one was paying attention to them - they’d probably ignore any mention of curses and magic anyway.  Willow turned around back to the direction they were going and pulled Lexa along.  “The Jusenkyo curse.”

“Huh?” Lexa muttered.  “But it never happened this often and freakily before?”

Willow nodded and said, “Jenny has been teaching me about curses; how they work, why they work, how to counter act them with magic, thus how to cast them, to find a loophole to break it like the happiness thingy with Angel, and other such things.  Before you had no interest in staying any gender, you loved both sides equally, now that you’re all about remaining a girl for a month . . .”

“What!?  Willow, are you saying this stupid thing will now work actively to get warm water on me, even when normally it not only wouldn’t happen, but couldn’t happen, just because I’m interested in staying a girl?” Lexa asked in shocked surprise.

Willow nodded sadly, looking at Lexa’s reaction as she added, “It’s a curse.”

“And now the other shoe drops,” Lexa muttered with wide eyes.  “Now I definitely need a damn umbrella, and I’ll have it with me at all times.”

“Yeah,” Willow said and stopped walking, pointing to her left, across the street.  Lexa looked and saw the computer store.  “Come on, be very careful, we’ll get the umbrella afterwards,” Willow said with a smile.

They crossed the street quickly and entered the shop.  Willow still had the smile on her face, but it grew as they took the place in.  The shop was rather large, and had several rows of computers, printers, other peripheral devices.  The walls themselves were lined with another row of computers, except one which was reserved for a wall of software.  “Heaven,” Willow whispered reverently.  Lexa looked down amused - her friend had dragged him along to the computer shop on occasion as a packing mule as women were wont to do with males, but her reaction to entering the place never ceased to amaze her.

“Willow Rosenberg, so nice to see you again; without your parents this time,” a voice sounded and they turned slightly to the left.  A friendly man in jeans and a blouse with squares on it came walking to them.  “Always good to see one of my best customers.”  His eyes were glued to Lexa though, until he tore them away from her and took in Willow’s new appearance.   “Whoa, very, very good, new wardrobe, new friend, if you weren’t my favorite before, you certainly are now,” the man spoke with an appreciative smile.

Both girls stances changed slightly, pushing their hips out and sexy smiles crossed their faces.  “Mr. Bourdon.  This is Lexa, Xander’s cousin,” Willow introduced the two.

“How do you do, sir?” Lexa said, offering her arm with a bright smile, and bending over a bit to reach out and offer up her cleavage.

“Very bad, I know you two are about to lighten my wallet significantly, and there’s nothing I can do about it,” he answered slowly and a little defeated.  “Any idea what you want?”

“For that, I have her,” Lexa said, and turned to Willow, who suddenly gained a bright grin that split her face in half.

“Pentium II 266 Megahertz, at least 64 megs of SD RAM, preferably 128, a good graphics card, and if you wanna play games, Lexa, a 3D card is a must, Voodoo 2, a 56K modem, a good printer. . .” Willow spoke rabidly, eyes shining, wished it was for her, but Lexa would let her play with it no doubt.

“Breathe, Willow,” Lexa said, half-concerned, half-joking.

Willow blushed lightly, and finished, “She also needs an internet subscription, and a few programs, she’s in school so an office is a must, an anti-virus program of course.  There’s still some wiggle room and decision making with a few of the components, obviously.”

“Not to mention haggling, undoubtedly.  I’m doomed,” Bourdon muttered and beckoned them to follow him.  Two smiling, super sexy, barely dressed girls following him - he thanked god his wife liked sex, ‘cause tonight she wouldn’t know what hit her.

*****

“2600 dollars,” Lexa said as the two of them stood back outside the shop half an hour later. Willow had a satisfied smile on her face as if she just came out of a series of orgasms during a marathon sex session.  “400 left, you certain we got everything?” she asked with an uncertain tone and expression.

Willow looked up at Lexa, the smile now turning into one of the cat that ate the canary, and she said, “Oh, trust me, Lexa, we got everything alright.  And you and I make one hell of a team; I shop somewhere with a male salesman, I’m taking you along.  We were good, he never stood a chance, and he knew it from the start.  Did you see him flush, and uh . . . down there?   I can hardly believe you did /that/ - that thing with your . . . uh . . . everything really.”

Lexa just smirked, and said, “We do make a good team, don’t we?”

Willow nodded her head enthusiastically as they waved past a guy, who looked back when they were past, and said, “Oh, yeah.”

“Okay then, computer bought, it’s time for the umbrella, gotta find a stylish, sexy umbrella,” Lexa said with a grin walking onward easily.  Willow had to exert herself a bit to keep up with her taller and more energetic friend, but managed quite well.

The two reached a corner and they prepared to round it when a guy came walking backward from there, while looking around confused.  “Hey!  Look out!” Lexa called, as she and Willow bumped into him and grabbed ahold to keep all of them from falling over.

“Oh, uh, sorry,” the guy said turned around.

“Ryoga?  What are you doing here?” Willow asked surprised, taking the time to take in Ryoga’s amazing physique, even if he was dressed - his green pants and low-cut yellow shirt were tight enough and showed enough to appreciate the view though.  The yellow, black-spotted kerchief wrapped around his head, gave him the feel of a rugged, Rambo protectorate feel which made girls’ heart beat faster.  Lexa herself took in the specimen of manhood swiftly as well.  “Aren’t you supposed to be working at Deo’s now?”

“Yes, but I can’t find it, I’m lost!” Ryoga exclaimed with large wide eyes.

Immediately Willow’s maternal instincts kicked in and her surprise and light annoyance ebbed away.  “Oh!  It’s that way,” Willow pointed to the right, crossing the street they had just been walking along.  “You take the third right, and then it’s the second small alley to the left.”

“Thank you, kind girl!” Ryoga exclaimed with happiness, and promptly turned to where he came from and started walking in that direction.  Lexa’s and Willow’s eyes widened. Ranma’s letter had told Lexa about Ryoga’s horrendous sense of direction, but it was still stunning to see in reality.

Willow didn’t have the same knowledge though, and quickly reached boiling point. “Ryoga!” she spat out red with anger speeding after him.  She grabbed him by the arm and turned him around, saying, “You little bastard!  That was not funny.  If you don’t need directions, don’t ask!  Don’t ask for them and then go the OPPOSITE WAY!”

Ryoga looked puzzled at Willow and Lexa reached them, hands set leisurely in her sides. “Will, calm down, he’s not messing with you, he’s genuinely got that bad a sense of direction,” Lexa said in a calming tone.  “Ranma wrote me he actually once failed to arrive at a field of battle on time - a grass field which was directly behind Ryoga’s house.”

Willow’s eyes were wide trying to wrap her mind around it, and then said, “Oh, sorry.  I didn’t know.”  Ryoga just looked annoyed - excepting the apology would acknowledge his deficiency, and getting mad would make him petty and an even bigger fool.

“Ryoga, we’re going to buy me an umbrella and then we can walk you to the restaurant, you’re welcome to join us,” Lexa offered with a smile, her hands now casually in the pocket of her short black feminine jacket.

Ryoga thought it over for a bit, annoyed, and then said not quite nicely, “Very well, I will come with you.”

“Great,” Willow answered just a bit sourly her quality time with Xander/Lexa was being intruded upon, but quickly took Ryoga by the arm and pulled him along for fear the eternal lost boy would find it in him to go in the opposite direction as they were going.

“So, Ryoga . . . have you gotten stronger since you came here last?” Lexa asked with a twinkle in her eyes as the three of them walked toward a story where they had umbrellas.   Willow rolled her eyes, and smiled at her best friend’s new found enthusiasm - if not obsession - for arts of asskicking.

Ryoga looked at the girl and took her in for a moment, as Willow kept half-dragging him along.  Finally he answered, “Yes, I have.”

“Cool, me too,” Lexa answered smiling, gaining a little spring in her step, “training alongside an Amazon and a Slayer is quite helpful.”

“They’re girls,” Ryoga answered him with a face of disgust.

“And?” Lexa asked confused.

Willow grimaced, and quickly said, “We’re here.”  Thus she cut off that line of conversation before it could escalate - Willow had quite a few quick scenarios of fighting and damage, she included in the fighting, and she had no interest in any of them coming to pass. The three of them turned to enter the shop and a car drove through a splash of water.

“IEEH!” Lexa exclaimed, getting splashed by the water.  She peeked open her eyes and looked down, noticing the swell of her breasts.  Some oinking made her look down, and as luck would have it, it was Ryoga’s curse this time.  The cute little piglet struggled from the neck of his clothes, and then stood there.  It squinted in anger, and made several small up and down jumps oinking angrily.

“He’s just so cute,” Willow said with a smile preparing to squat down.  She yelped as a suddenly irritated Lexa dragged her into the shop.

“Stay here, Ryoga, we’ll get you some warm water,” Lexa said annoyed, making the Ryoga piglet attempt a growl.  “Right after we get me an umbrella,” Lexa added, making the piglet widen his eyes and then squint back into anger, then jumped up and down squeaking enraged, but the door to the shop was already closed.  Ryoga gave a last insufferable growl and then settled down to defend his clothes.

Inside Lexa and Willow looked around the leather and other wear store.  They walked along a rack of leather pants toward some umbrellas in the back.  To their left was another rack with leather skirts.  “Ooh!” Lexa exclaimed stopping Willow putting a hand in front of her and pointing at the pants.  Her face broke into a grin, and said, “We gotta try one on, Will, we just gotta.”

As Lexa started to look around her, Willow answered thoughtfully, “I don’t know, leather isn’t exactly my thing.”

“You ever tried one on?” Lexa asked with a grin.  Willow shook her head.  “Well, how do you know if you haven’t tried it?”

Willow looked at her, and then back at one in her size, and took it out, as Lexa turned around to salivate over the skirts.  Willow checked out the prices and her eyes almost fell out of her sockets, “Oh, can’t afford that.”

“I can,” Lexa replied with a huge grin, turning back around, having picked out a skirt. “Thanks to our cleavage teamwork and your keen knowledge of computers.”  Willow looked at her with a wry smile.  Lexa elbowed her while finished, “Doesn’t mean you can’t try it on, Wills, then you’ll know when you do have the money.”

“After I’m hired to for a part time job, huh?” Willow muttered a bit dejected.

“Or a vacation job, with your computer skills . . .” Lexa trailed off, getting a pair of pants for herself, and then hooked her right free hand into Willow’s arm, turning and pulling her along.  “Let’s do some fitting.”

*****

The piglet Ryoga paced around a bit, and paced again.  Having managed to scare off a few people as they tried to investigate the clothes and the piglet, or came down to stroke him. Usually a snarl and a good powerful bump to the lower leg was enough.  What the hell was Xander taking so long with the warm water?  Finally fed up, he went to check.  He jumped up the three steps and with a solid bump of his immense strength forced open the door and walked in; the owner behind the counter didn’t notice, looking too high but seeing no human.

Ryoga stepped inside and looked forward, seeing Lexa and Willow in leather pants laughing.  “You look great in them, Willow,” Lexa said, nudging her and giving her a leer.

Willow grinned, “Yeah, who’d have thought it?  I thought I’d be too thin for leather.” She turned to look at Lexa and returned the leer, while telling her, “And you look hot in them too, Xan.  Much better than the skirt.”

“Yeah, I like the pants too,” Lexa said, while at the entrance Ryoga’s eyes twitched and rage started to grow.  Umbrella and water!  Umbrella and water he said!  Now he was trying on clothes like some stupid girl and here he was stuck in his piglet form!  Ryoga jumped, and screech in rage, moving his forelegs like a bull.  He snorted, audibly blowing air out his nose and then charged screeching out his rage, intent on slamming into the bastard and breaking some ribs.  Reaching the right place, he jumped, shooting forward at Lexa like a missile.  Lexa turned to regard the commotion, and rapidly reached out with his hand, grabbing Ryoga by his neck skin.  The piglet shrieked in impotent rage, while Willow looked with wide eyes at the animal.  It shrieked more, kicking its legs in an attempt to hit anything or find leverage.  “Now, now,” Lexa said annoyed and walked back to the entrance, “don’t you have any patience?” Judging by Ryoga’s continued shrieking and screeching, he didn’t.  “We’ll get you already, just wait outside, you impatient pig.”  Lexa opened the door, while the owner looked stunned at the event and Lexa’s talking.  Lexa put Ryoga down and closed the door solidly.

Ryoga had jumped at Lexa the moment his feet sat down on the ground, and so he slammed into the door with Lexa’s strength behind it.  Ryoga grunted and tumbled backward down the three steps.  There he stayed still a bit dazed, and then recovered, sitting down with impotent rage, biding his time to get his revenge.

Back inside Lexa and Willow changed clothes back to their own.  Willow went to put her pants and Lexa’s skirt back on the racks while Lexa went toward the umbrellas.  After a while of looking through the different ones, and Willow rejoining her, Lexa settled on a feminine classically black model, and went to the cash register.  “These two,” Lexa said with a smile, placing the pants and the umbrella on the counter.

“Very good, ma’am,” the woman said, and tallied up the items.  “That will be 319,95, ma’am,” she said and started putting the pants in a nice protective carry sheet.

Lexa got out her debit card and paid with it.  The female owner of the store put the pants in the sheet on the counter, and Lexa asked, “Oh, can we borrow a can with some warm water for a minute, I’ll bring the can right back.”

Willow nodded and moved up and down on the balls of her feet as the woman looked puzzled.  “Okay, sure,” the owner said with a frown and went to the back.  She returned a little later with a can and spoke, “Here is th-”  The woman stumbled over something and a splash of water came Lexa’s way.  With lightning fast reflexes, the chi-warrioress grabbed her new umbrella and opened it.  The water splashed all over the counter and the umbrella.  “Oh, I’m very sorry,” the owner exclaimed as Willow looked around the umbrella with wide concerned eyes.  She sighed in relief as she saw Lexa was still Lexa.

Lexa closed the umbrella and said with a smile, “Hey, that’s why I got this one; all dry.”   The woman nodded embarrassedly and turned back around, only to return once more with a newly filled can of warm water.

“Thank you,” Willow said, taking the can, not risking Lexa’s curse managed to splash the water over her if she carried it herself.

Willow quickly stepped in front of Lexa so that the curse had no reason to make her trip and splash the water onto Lexa.  Thus the two, minus some dollars and gained a pair of leather pants an umbrella and a can of warm water, walked back outside.

Ryoga looked up at the two from his position on the neck of his shirt with an enraged look.  Lexa stepped off toward the left as Willow poured the warm water onto the piglet.  A moment later a dressed Ryoga launched herself at Lexa and yelled, “You bastard!”  A moment later his fist connected with Lexa’s surprised face, and the half man half woman was flung backward till she landed with a painful grunt on the pavement.  “You left me here as- . . . AAAH!”

“Calm down, Ryoga!” Willow exclaimed in shock as Lexa still sat recovering.  Ryoga was seething with blazing eyes down at Lexa, and Willow added, “We’re sorry, we’ll get the water first next time.”

“Man, what a punch,” Lexa groaned, feeling her anguished chin.  “You’ve gotten a lot stronger, ugh.”  Slowly, wobbling a bit Lexa forced herself to her feet.

The two stood opposite each other, with Ryoga seething with blazing eyes.  “You two aren’t going to kill each other?” Willow asked a bit timidly.  “Good,” she said and turned back into the shop to give back the can.

Lexa and Ryoga kept looking at each other, and then Lexa grinned, “Hey, you want to train with me regularly?  Slayer and Amazon are nice, but a guy that beat me up with one punch would seriously allow me to get better and stronger.”

Ryoga blinked and then groaned as Willow came back out the store.  “What is it with you and Ranma, Harris?” Ryoga hissed in anger.  “Why can you be the biggest sons of bitches one moment, and be all nice the next.”

Lexa blinked, and shrugged as Willow looked uncomprehending from one to the other.  “I wasn’t aware I was being anything bad,” Lexa said, and then smirked at Ryoga.  “Ouch,” she said and grabbed her chin.

Ryoga growled, and then grinned, “I guess I won’t mind beating you up regularly.”

“Great!” Lexa said enthusiastically, and then frowned.  “Wait, that’s not exactly- . . .” But Ryoga had already started to walk passed her.

Only to be grabbed by Willow and yanked around, as she said, “This way to the restaurant.”

*****

Lexa blocked Ryoga’s fist, then he did the same with Lexa’s.  A moment later an uppercut came out of nowhere, and with groan of pain Lexa was launched in the air and slammed on the mat.  “Oof,” she muttered, and sat up, dizzily looking around her personal gym.  To the left Buffy and Lotion had stopped their fight and looked surprised at the continuous outcome: Xander / Lexa lost.  She lost!  He seemed pretty much unbeatable to the two.  Buffy and Lotion could come close during a sparring they knew, but they also knew she always held back, not wanting to seriously hurt his female friends.  If he went truly all out, they had no illusions that he’d defeat the two; probably even if he took them both on at the same time.  But there Lexa lay, once more beaten, almost easily.  They looked up from their friend and took in Ryoga.  The eternal lost boy was wearing a grin, his usual green pants, and a training yellow skirt with only straps, offering his arms and upper chest up for inspection.  He had to be seriously, seriously strong if he could just defeat Lexa that easily.

Lexa did some inspecting of her own, and smirking got back up.  *God damn, is he hot,* a thought crossed her mind before she realized she was thinking it.  She blinked, analyzed the thought for a moment, and then shrugged.  It was true, Ryoga was amazingly sexy, especially now with the naked skin and the smell of his sweat.

“All right, let’s go again,” Lexa said and went to stand in a ready stance, smiling sexily at Ryoga, who seemed oblivious, much to her disappointment.  He charged forward, and she pushed his first punch out of the way.  Using every bit of speed and strength she could muster she managed to duck beneath his second punch, and then slammed her fist with a yell in his stomach, which she followed up with an uppercut of her own.  Ryoga had to take a step back, and then rammed his fist forward, slamming into Lexa’s cheek and making her stagger backward multiple steps and slamming against a weight machine.  She managed to stay standing and groaned, while Buffy and Lotion looked surprised at Ryoga.  “God, damn it,” Lexa said righting herself, taking in the boy that was her training partner.  “I hit you, you barely even flinched!  How did you get that tough a body?”

“Perhaps I tell you one day, when you’re really, really good,” Ryoga replied with a friendly smile.

“You’ve been taught the Bakusai Tenketsu!” Lotion exclaimed in awe.  “The Breaking Point technique.  Who taught you this?”

Ryoga looked annoyed at the Amazon, and Buffy and Lexa just looked at the lost boy and Lotion intrigued.  Ryoga snorted that his secret was out, and said, “Cologne.”

“That /witch/,” Lotion hissed angrily.  “She great lady Amazon, and worse than my mother.”

“Worse than your mother!?” Buffy and Lexa exclaimed simultaneously in disbelief. Lotion nodded slowly.

“Man, so what’s this Breaking Point technique?” Lexa asked at either Lotion or Ryoga.

“Every object has a weak point, you’re taught to identify it, and penetrate it with a single finger shattering it,” Ryoga explained folding his hands in front of his chest.

Lotion nodded, “Mostly useless in a fight - is only true for inanimate objects, used for demolition and construction mostly.  However, training is done by sending large boulder on rope at trainee, and she must destroy the boulder.  She fails, the boulder slams into her.  By the time you finally master it, you’ve been hit so many times by the boulder, you’ve built up an incredible tolerance for getting hit.  It’s necessary, for objects shatter with great force, pieces coming at you could kill you if you haven’t become touch enough.”  Lotion took in Ryoga, and added, “Amazons aren’t taught that technique until they are at least twenty.”

“I am sixteen,” Ryoga said smoothly.

“Teach me,” Lexa said with a big smile.

Ryoga took in Lexa, and shrugged.  “Well, okay.  You know, I do have some warm water you know,” he said and suggested to Lexa.

“Not necessary, I’m staying a girl for a month,” Lexa said with a grin.

“WHAT!?!?!?” Ryoga screamed out, making three girls wince and grab there ears.  He was only just off from shattering glass.  “WHY!?”

“To experience what’s it like to be a girl, experience menstruation,” Lexa answered with a smirk.

“AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!” Ryoga screamed out, and took a few steps backward.  “You cannot be serious?!  Why in hell?  Why by all the gods!?  What possessed you?”

The three girls seemed somewhat perturbed, and Lexa asked, “Why not?”

Ryoga shivered.  Buffy piped up with a grin, “I kinda half blackmailed him into it.”

Ryoga turned his head to the right, regarded Buffy and took several steps away from her, hands up to ward her off, while saying and shuddering, “Evil.  True evil.  Women are evil.”

“Yeah, and for the time being, I am one,” Lexa pointed out with a smirk.  Ryoga had to turn almost all the way around before finding the door, which was just a short way the other way around, and then ran out onto to the balcony, jumped down and ran of, shaking in horror all the way.

Three girls walked onto the balcony and regarded him running away.  “Should we tell him that way is the shortest route out of Sunnydale and there’s nothing there?” Buffy asked innocently.

“Nah,” three girls said as one shaking their head, then giggled together.

“Japanese and their masculine pride and honor,” Lexa said, shaking her head, “They seriously need to get out of the dark ages.  Be proud to be a man, but don’t be afraid to be a woman, they’re not useless concubines.”

*****

Willow panted as she finished tonguing the amazing brunette.  She and Lexa were in front of the latter’s apartment building after an amazing date that had Willow still tingling with excitement, bubbling with humor, and purring with a tasty full stomach.  More importantly, the date, and the person she had it with, had even more so than before buzzing with sexual need. Flashes of Buffy’s incessant descriptions going through her mind, and with Willow’s new found confidence in herself she wasn’t backing away from her arousal.  She wanted it quenched badly, and not with a cold shower.

“Xander, please, please, please,” she said hotly, with a low tone, that was a combination of a purr and a growl.  Lexa opened her half-closed eyes, forcing herself out of the buzz of that amazing kiss.  When they were looking into each other’s eyes, Willow whispered, “I’m not ready for intercourse, but I need you badly - you’re so hot, sexy, kind, beautiful, Lexa.”

“Uh . . . are you certain, Will, I mean . . .” Lexa said squeezing the smaller girl reflexively with both concern and desire.

Willow placed her right index finger on Lexa’s lips, and explained quickly, breathing hard, Buffy’s grief-stricken, graphic descriptions and the result it had in her.  “Xan, if I don’t get some bodily skin contact soon, I’m going to explode,” Willow finished, large, lustful, pleading eyes peering up at the taller girl.

Lexa thought it over for a moment, and then answered with a smirk, “We’ve seen the results of an exploding witch, I’ll just have to make the sacrifice to relieve some pressure.”

Willow’s mouth and tongue found Lexa’s a moment later, and the two stumbled up the steps to the door.

Some minutes later - longer than usual, since it was difficult unlocking doors while kissing - the two of them found themselves in Lexa’s apartment, sinking down on the couch.  Lexa’s hands disappeared underneath Willow’s top, and gently massaged her breasts.  “Mmh, oh,” Willow muttered into Lexa’s mouth as her own hands slipped underneath Lexa’s shirt.  She broke the kiss a moment as Lexa moaned out at her experimental touching, and she asked, a little bit of her old self returning, “They’re not too small?”

Lexa smiled down, and quickly removed the top, taking in Willow’s lovely breasts. “They’re perfect, Willow,” she told her as she dropped the top to the floor.

Willow smiled, returning the favor, and looking hungrily at Lexa’s bigger chest said, “So are yours.”  She moved forward, and quickly started kissing and licking the flesh of the sensitive organs while continuing the caresses.  Lexa moaned, and felt Willow gave her nipples a little nip with her teeth, and grunted in appreciation, while squeezing Willow’s beautiful breasts herself.

Both of them quickly became impatient though, and their hands wandered down.  Lexa’s quickly slipped beneath Willow’s tight skirt, while Willow’s slipped beneath Lexa’s skintight leather pants.  A moment later they were even beneath their skimpy - an soaked - panties. Their mouths found each other again, kissing passionately as fingers explored two hot, moist vulvas.  Both them moaned into each other’s mouths, and then they opened their eyes, looking into each other’s eyes hungrily.  Quickly they stripped themselves of their last garments and attacked each other once more.  Fingers thrust inside each other’s love caves, while others stroked clitorises.  Not long after both exploded in orgasm.

Lexa leaned back in satisfaction and Willow went along, giving a satisfied moan as she laid her head on Lexa’s chest, using her breasts as cushions.  Their fingers were still gently probing, and Willow muttered, “Oh, it was better than I had thought.”

“My sweet Willow,” Lexa said breathlessly and kissed her on her hair.  “I think I can go another round - just fingers.”

Willow looked up, looking amazingly cute with her eyes turned up.  She smiled and told Lexa, “You’re the best.”  Then reached up to kiss Lexa again . . .

*****

“Oh, god!  Oh, my god!  Coming again . . .”  Cordelia lost all ability to speak then, quivering and shiver as yet another orgasm crashed over her.  How some fingers and a tongue could bring her to such heaven was beyond her, even if she didn’t have her ability to think fried by her body’s waves of orgasmic pleasure.

Her skirt was hunched up, sitting behind the wheel of her car, and Oz was bent down sideways from the passenger seat so his head and hands were in between her legs.  Moans and groans were the only thing she cut utter as her body was amazing wracked by wave after wave of orgasms, this new one faster and even more intense before.  Her eyes fluttered upon and closed, her eyes glassy and unfocused with lust.

Finally her body had spent too much energy and despite Oz’s still continuing ministrations could dredge up another climax.  Cordelia shivered, and sighed as her body relaxed fully. “Oh,” she managed somehow, and Oz rose from beneath her skirt.

He licked his lips with a self-satisfied smirk, taking in his girlfriend who was lying slid down with a healthy afterglow bright enough to make the sun pale.  She was so beautiful. “Oh, my,” Cordelia sighed out, slowly regaining her breath.  She forced herself to say, which came out gasping, “You deserve a return favor . . . hope you’re willing to wait a few days . . . I should have my energy back by then.”  She sighed and smiled, staying there limp, feeling as if her limbs were made of Jell-O, doubting her legs could keep her standing right now.

“Sure,” Oz said with a smile - not even he could keep that off his face seeing his handy work and the gratitude in Cordelia’s eyes.  He pressed his lips to hers and kissed gently but passionately.

“Mmh,” Cordelia murmured as she tasted an unfamiliar but pleasant taste in his mouth. Her eyes widened as she realized what it was, and watched as Oz broke the kiss, then licked and sucked one of his fingers clean of a glistening substance.  He offered another one to Cordelia.  After a moment’s hesitation she took the offering in her mouth - yep, she had guessed right what the taste in his mouth had been.

“God, you’re amazing,” Cordelia muttered as she slowly felt strength returning to her body - not much strength, but there was some.

“I try,” Oz answered in his usual manner.

Cordelia smiled at him; the guy could be so annoying with that attitude of his, and it made her be in love with him only more.  Odd; Xander annoyed her in the same way, and she fell for him too.  *So annoying is my type?* she wondered and let out a grumble.  “You are so annoying some times,” she told him with attempt at giving him a scowl, but her face refused to leave the satisfied expression behind.  She gave up and asked, “What did I do to deserve you?”

“Kicked demon ass, and being deeper than a surface glance revealed,” Oz answered, and took the last ‘dirty’ finger in his mouth, sucking it clean.

Cordelia actually managed a momentary scowl this time around, refrained from saying that it was a rhetorical question, and instead answered, “Of course, what else did you expect?”

“I refrain from answering that, on account that it would incriminate me,” Oz said, and then gave her a smirk that he couldn’t refuse her.

“Right,” Cordelia said and righted herself.  She then placed her panties straight again, and smoothed out her skirt, pulling it down.  She looked over to Oz, and then leaned in to kiss him tiredly, her body still pleasantly aching.  Her hand moved down his pants.  He sucked in a sharp breath as he felt her hand around his harness.  She broke the kiss, and whispered, “Handjob only, baby, really don’t have the strength for more.”

Oz gave a groan, and muttered, “‘s okay.”

*****

Willow parried Cordelia’s punch, and threw her own at the cheerleader’s stomach, which she avoided by turning away.  The library was not quiet right now.  Giles was busy doing whatever, while Jenny was thoughtfully keeping an eye Willow and Cordelia as they sparred.   By far the largest ruckus came from Lexa facing off against Ryoga though.

“I still cannot believe you’re doing this,” Ryoga snarled as he landed a very powerful punch in Lexa’s stomach.  Lexa grunted as she staggered back under the onslaught, and parried his next blow, before landing a kick in his stomach.

They were apart for a moment, and Lexa said, “Yeah, well, I cannot believe how bad your sense of direction is, so we’re even.”

Ryoga growled, and said, “Oh, no we’re not.  You’re less.”  He charged forward and landed a devastating combo of punches and kicks that sent Lexa skidding across the floor.

She looked up and smiled brightly Ryoga.  “I see your point,” Lexa said flirtatiously and righted herself, and starting the Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire.  Although the eternal lost boy couldn’t keep up, he had obviously faced the move enough times he had built up his own speed to parry about one out of every three punches.  After Lexa was done with the move, she looked even more appreciatively at Ryoga.  The guy was still standing, and didn’t seem to be that much worse for wear.  She smiled and said, “Nice.”

Willow spied to her right where Lexa and Ryoga were parrying with an annoyed frown. This resulted in a punch from Cordelia across her chin and she staggered back.  “What’s with you?” Cordelia asked, wondering how such an obvious punch could have gotten through Willow’s not inconsiderable defenses.

Willow grumbled and got back in a stance, steeling another annoyed look at Lexa and Ryoga.  Cordelia quickly looked over where Willow was looking, and just caught Lexa smiling at Ryoga.  “Ah,” she said with a superior smirk, looking back at Willow, “afraid of little male competition, are we?”

“Cordelia,” Willow warned with a deadly scowl.

“Hey, he’s hot, Lexa’s hot, they’re both fighters . . . you shouldn’t have tossed Oz in my way,” Cordelia teased with a grin.

Willow actually growled, mumbled a spell and suddenly Cordelia found herself pulled toward Willow.  “Wha!?” she managed as she was lifted off the floor, and a moment later Willow’s uppercut smashed in her chin.  The cheerleader already in the air by the levitation spell, was flung backward till she crashed painfully on the floor, and then smashed against chairs and the table.  Jenny took the even in with a grin.

Willow swayed over, and smiled sexily down at Cordelia who looked up dazedly.  “I like training,” Willow said with a smile.  Cordelia grumbled something unintelligible as she rubbed her painful head.

“That was very good, Willow, self-control even while angry, not a drip too much power used,” Jenny commended the redhead witch from her position behind the counter.  Willow grinned.

With another crash, Lexa once more landed on the ground.

*****

Darkness prevailed in the room, except for the light given off by the camera projector and the movie screen.  They had given up on the movie; and started exploring each other.  Female lips were pressed against female lips, while female tongues dueled, and female hands groped. Except nobody would see that, everyone would a hot girl kissing an obviously handsome and strong specimen of manhood.  The glamour obscuring Lexa and showing Xander to the world held up very well.  If one looked really close they might notice the mouth of the stunning brunette opposite her wasn’t lined up quite naturally with his, but it was a dark place and a good movie so no one paid attention.

Lotion deepened the kiss, moaning, then moving her hands up as she felt the other pair of hands cup her breasts.  She expected a manly chest, but found a pair of female breasts in her hand.  She stopped kissing a bit, even as Lexa’s hands reached underneath Lotion’s Amazon dress.  “Hmm,” Lotion said, stopping her hands.  Lexa opened her eyes, and Xander’s looked questioningly at the Amazon.  “Ah,” Lotion said, realizing this wasn’t working.

“What is it?” Lexa asked her softly, not wanting to bother the other viewers.

Lotion sighed, leant forward, and whispered, “Xander, I’m an Amazon, and we don’t exactly have a problem with girl on girl.  Heck, plenty of us who prefer a strong partner like me try and enjoy as a . . . well . . . better substitute before we’re forced to find a wimpy man for expected procreation, continuation of the tribe - a strong partner is much more fun.  But, I’m heterosexual, you’re a man, and you’re /not/ wimpy - you’re a /man/.  You’re everything I could possibly wish for . . . I don’t want to squander such amazing luck, and such a fantastic man by having my first . . . intimate contact be with a girl after all.”

“I understand,” Lexa whispered, smiling and looking deeply in her eyes.

“I can wait a few weeks,” Lotion whispered again.  Lexa lowered her arms.  Lotion took them and pushed them forward around her back and then kissed Lexa again.  “But I’ve already kissed you as a man, we can still kiss till then,” Lotion whispered, and their kissing continued.

Lexa broke the kiss then and looked Lotion with twinkles in her eyes; which were even visible in the glamour eyes of Xander Harris, and she asked with a smirk, “So you ever kissed another Amazon to try out?”

“No,” Lotion answered slightly confused.

“Dang,” Lexa whispered again, and quickly checked if he wasn’t too loud.  His possible fantastic visions of Lotion kissing another buxom Amazon like Shampoo evaporated.  Ah, well, could always become a fantasy.

“Why?” Lotion asked.

Lexa grinned and said, “Men like girl on girl.”

“Really?  And you’re a man, a real man,” Lotion muttered hotly and once again kissed the other girl deeply.

*****

The movie was over.  Lotion and Lexa in Xander disguise walked out of the theater room into the main hall, chatting about the nice movie.  After Lotion telling Lexa she wanted to wait with anything more than kissing, they had managed to keep most of their attention on the movie. Now a guy, screwing the cap off of a bottle of water, turned his head to his girlfriend, and stumbled.  Water sprayed from his bottle as he attempted to keep his balance.  With lightning reflexes Lexa pulled her umbrella up and opened it, twisting it around.  The water splashed harmlessly on her umbrella, and she peeked around it.  Everyone, including Lotion looked a little surprised, then Lexa put the umbrella back down.

“Come on,” Lexa said, hooking his right arm around Lotion’s left elbow.  A few steps onward, Lexa hissed, “I’m really starting to hate that.”

*****

Ryoga yawned and stretched as the sun fell on his face.  Defeated he let his hands fall.  Last night he’d gotten to his motel really late.  It was going to take quite a bit longer this time around to scrounge up the money for his trip home.  He hated it.  He wanted to get back to Nerima to finally kick Ranma’s ass and claim Akane for himself.  There was one bright spot though; Xander.  He wasn’t so bad a guy, and training with him was good - except his ridiculous insistence on being a girl for a month and experiencing . . . /that/.  Ryoga shivered lying in his bed, completely not understanding.

He sighed and got up out of bed, taking in the dirty, pathetic excuse for a motel room.  He got dressed, and as he was about to leave to get to his horrendous job, he noticed an envelop lying in front of the door.  Frowning he bent down, and examined it, finding ‘Ryoga’ written on the front.  He raised his eyebrows and opened the envelope.  Inside he found a card, which had a big red heard printed on a pink background.

Ryoga’s frown deepened and he turned the card around, then read out loud, “‘Ryoga, you are amazing, a fantastic mind in fantastic muscles, martial arts not withstanding, with your feathers no longer ruffled, I like you a lot, definitely.  Happy Valentine’s Day, Anonymous.’” Ryoga stared at the card in confusion for a few moments, and then asked himself, “What’s ‘Valentine’s Day’?”

*****

Lotion opened her locker and looked surprised as the large envelope fell from it.  She bent over - making several male students take a close look at her curvaceous ass - and picked it up. ‘Lotion,’ it read.  She opened the envelope, and took in the beautiful romantic picture on the front; showing hearts and two pairs of lips pressing against each other.  In golden letters it read, ‘Happy Valentine’s Day.’  Lotion blinked confused and turned it around, reading, ‘Amazon among Amazons, my beautiful Lotion, there is more where this came from, to be sure, but try to contain your impatience.  I feel bad for not being able to make more of a commitment, to slice the not.  Happy Valentine’s Day, Xander.’

Lotion blinked twice, and then scratched her head in confusion.  “Valentine’s Day?” she muttered.  She grabbed her books and closed the locker, then thought.  Grumbling in annoyance she quickly moved to where she knew Willow had her locker.

Willow looked dreamily as she finished reading her own Valentine’s Day card.  Buffy was next to her, looking just as happy and holding a card to her heart.  “What’s Valentine’s Day?”

The two looked over and saw Lotion reach them, a confused look on her face.  Willow and Buffy blinked, looked at each other and then Willow, “Well, it’s just this quaint tradition we have.  Nothing to worry about- . . .”

“Don’t listen to her, the conniving bitch.  I didn’t think you had it in you, Willow,” Cordelia’s voice sounded as she joined the three.

“Hey, I was going to say Xander wouldn’t hold it against her, different culture and all,” Willow protested, but whether she was lying or not, Buffy couldn’t tell.

Cordelia glared and Willow, and continued her explanation, “It’s a tradition where lovers, potential lovers, and sometimes friends give each other cards and gifts.  If you don’t get Xander one, he’ll be heartbroken.”  Lotion looked shocked at the other cheerleader.  “Don’t worry, you have all day, I’ll help you pick something out,” Cordelia added smoothly.

“He’s a guy, you know, I think he’ll get over it,” Buffy replied lightly.

Cordelia rolled her eyes, and told her, “/He/ is also a girl, in fact, /he’s/ been /only/ girl for the past one and a half weeks.”  Buffy and Willow’s eyes widened in revelation, while Lotion looked still somewhat confused.  “Look what I got, Oz,” Cordelia said softly with a smile and held up a plastic bag which contained a gift-wrapped box.  “Chains; if I have to chain him up for some reason, he’ll be chained up stylishly.  No boyfriend of mine won’t be stylish.”

Willow’s and Buffy’s jaws dropped, making Lotion look even more confused, for once shutting up.  Willow blushed lightly.  Buffy replied, “You do realize how that sounded, right?”

Cordelia blinked, going over her words, and suddenly her left hand latched out, and slapped Buffy upward across the back of her head.  “Ouch!” she exclaimed as Cordelia already talked.

“Not like that, slow for brains, when he’s a wolf,” Cordelia hissed out in annoyance.

Buffy felt the back of her head in annoyance, and answered, “/We/ /know/ that, the others don’t.  You better be very careful when, where, and how hard you say that if you don’t want to sound like you’re . . . I can’t even say it.”

“What!?” Lotion demanded, making the other three girls look over.  “I don’t get it.  Well? What is it!?”

Willow put her hand on her chest and said with a moved face, “She’s so innocent.”  The other three nodded, and Willow asked, “Do we rob her of it?”

“Nah,” the other two said, grinning and started walking off.

“What!?” Lotion exclaimed, following them.  “Come on, tell me what it is!” she demanded - Amazons never whined.

As they walked, Buffy took a look at her card, and read it again, ‘For my first love, my grandest love, friends forever, love forever.  Happy Valentine’s, Xander.’  It once again brought a smile to her face, as well as a pang in her heart, like someone stuck a knife in it.

*****

The Bronze

That night

Buffy watched as Xander exchanged a kiss with Willow after exchanging gifts.  She smiled sadly, she was both happy and sad.  Xander had given Willow a small necklace with pentagram pendant, a red ruby in its middle.  Willow had smiled extremely happy at the gift.  She in turn had given Xander a CD that he seemed happy with.  Around them couples were dancing and kissing as the music played.

After breaking the kiss, Xander moved on to Lotion.  He gave her a nice bottle of perfume.  She gave him a card, which he seemed to like, and a nicely wrapped gift which turned out to be a computer game for his PC that made him hug her close and give her a kiss.

Across from Buffy sat Cordelia and Oz.  Cordelia was wearing the necklace with a big heart as a pendant around her neck, proudly displaying it just above her cleavage.  Earlier that evening, Buffy and the others had been present as Cordelia cut into her former friends with a verbal vengeance that had left them, and her new friends stunned.  From calling Harmony a slut to saying she could date whoever she wanted, including the much shorter Oz which made them - according to Harmony - look like a sister and his little brother, to saying she and she alone ruled the school and she better not ever bother to think she was anywhere in her league or that she could ever take over.  At first glance it seemed like just another Cordelia verbal cut down, but then Buffy had realized Cordelia was different.  For a moment she couldn’t put a finger on what it was - then it hit her, seemingly impossible, Cordelia seemed much more confident than usual.  Also, this rant was a nuclear warhead; a rant aimed to utterly destroy.  Cordelia had never done such a job on anyone, not even Willow and other bottom ranking geeks.

Buffy had looked over and seen Xander smile at the event, he probably had known all along what Buffy had just realized.  Cordelia had been an insecure girl, who wasn’t sure about her own position - knowing her ‘friends’ were leaches / sheep.  With her new training, her new boyfriend, and new friends that were actual friends and acknowledged her for who she was - a really bitchy, annoying, bordering on hating her, but heroic girl who had chosen to fight the darkness, she had found a newfound true confidence; not the mask she had worn all this time. Not that Cordelia was now some sweet nice girl, far from it as the nuking of the former Cordettes testified, but she was with them.

Now Buffy’s Slayer hearing picked up Cordelia’s comment to Oz, “Am I brilliant or what?”

Finally it was her turn.  Buffy’s heart beat in her chest as Xander came up to her.  She didn’t want to see his gift yet, so she pulled out the card she had bought him, and handed it over, saying, “Happy Valentine’s, Xan.  Wanted to wait with the card till now.”

Xander smiled and took the card, and read silently, ‘I love you, Xander.  As my best friend, and more.  I wish so many things, but mostly I wish you all the happiness in the world. Happy, Valentine’s.’  Xander looked up, and smiled at Buffy, making her blush a little - she knew it was corny.

“I didn’t know what to get you,” Buffy said quickly, trying to force her embarrassment away.  She held up her hand holding a gift, and said, “so I just made a guess, I hope you like it.”

Xander opened it, and saw a katana rack, holding a single katana: a small one for opening envelopes.  “Thank you,” Xander said, hugging her close.  Then he pulled out a small gift wrapped box and gave it to Buffy.

Buffy looked at what had to be a jewelry box with wide eyes, and then unwrapped it, tearing the paper away.  She opened the box, and looked at a silver bracelet.  It was made up of sections of a double helix, as if two ropes had turned to silver.  The ends came together, as if two elongated omega signs were wrapped around each other and forming a single solid section with no beginning or end.  The connected double helixes were connected together with small square sections of metal.  Buffy’s eyes were wide at the bracelet.  Xander took the bracelet and held it in front of her right hand.  Buffy moved her hand in the bracelet, and Xander went to fix it on her wrist, while explaining, “It’s an eternity bracelet.  Wrapped together, encircled, entwined, as we are.  Eternally, without end, forever.  I love you, Buffy, and you love me; friends forever.”

Buffy’s heart swelled with the beautiful gift, feeling the love for this amazing guy grow by the moment.  Yet at the same time, her heart crushed down into a deep dark abyss of pain. Because it did indeed symbolize their connection, their friendship, their love, but two sides of the curl were also apart at the same time; the gift symbolized love, friendship, but not /in/ love, not romance, while it could mean that too, yet not quite.  Exactly like they were, loving, in love, but a single stupid moment stood between them, keeping them apart, possibly forever.  A tiny shiver ran through her body, as she remembered again what she had done to give Xander the ‘ick’.  Sex with that cold, clammy . . . she banished the thought, and looked up.  Her eyes were wet with unshed tears, that refused to fall, her inner turmoil between happiness and sadness keeping them trapped, although both could let them fall.  Xander engulfed her in a hug, which returned . . . and the illusion fled away.  Buffy felt breasts, and a slightly smaller body against her - the girl underneath the glamour that kept her looking like Xander . . .  Buffy didn’t care, she simply tightened the hug, and held onto her friend, uncaring his, or her as the case may be, gender.  She just needed to be hugged.  She felt her lips give her a kiss on her forehead, and once again Buffy was assaulted with love and happiness as well as pain that the kiss wasn’t on her lips.

A bit later they broke apart, and Cordelia commented, “God, you two are saps.”

Buffy turned her head and glared at her.  Lexa / Xander grinned at the cheerleader and said, “Not as bad as you two.”

Oz rose an eyebrow, and Cordelia said, “In your dreams perhaps.”

“No,” Willow said with a critical, appraising look, “he’s right.  You’re worse.”

“Traitor, I knew I shouldn’t have defended you losers,” Cordelia said balefully, making Willow grin.  Cordelia got up, taking Oz’s hand, and said, “Come on, Oz, we don’t have to listen to this.”  She pulled the werewolf onto the dance floor and started to dance.

Lexa grinned and then quickly went over to Lotion and pulled her onto the dance floor. “Come on, Buffy,” Willow said, and gestured to her friend.

“Come on, Buffy?” Buffy questioned wryly as she went over to Willow.  “Is that how you get people on the dance floor these days?  Whatever happened to a polite, ‘May I have this dance, Buffy?’”

“Out the door the moment ‘Come on’ started to work,” Willow retorted and pulled her friend onto the dance floor.  Buffy grumbled something unintelligible, berating herself for coming over too soon.

*****

The school bell rung, and the students immediately started putting their stuff away.  “All right,” the teacher called out loud, “everyone who hasn’t done so yet don’t forget to put your paper on my desk.”

The students came forward and started putting their papers where the teacher had indicated.  Buffy a little forlorn, held back, watching as Xander in front of her put his paper on the desk, while chatting with Cordelia and Willow; who by all shockers seemed to be somewhere close to being friends.  Buffy put her own page on the desk and moved as one of the last toward the door.

“Amy?  Did you give me your paper yet?” the teacher asked, and reflexively Buffy looked back.

“Oh, sure, Miss,” Amy said having turned around to face the teacher.  Buffy watched Amy point to the pile, and she said, “It’s right on top.”  The teacher looked away to the pile of papers, and Buffy saw Amy mumble something and wiggle her right index and middle fingers.

There was a sparkle, and then the teacher said, “Oh, right, of course, right here.”

“Goodbye, miss,” Amy said, smiling that she know had extra time.  After all, the teacher had ‘seen’ her paper, so if the teacher lost it, it wasn’t her fault, and she could finish it in leisure time.

Buffy turned around quickly, before Amy could see she had seen what she saw and left the room.  Amy was following in her mother’s footsteps?  As she walked outside of the class room she wondered what she should do.  It wasn’t like any teacher was going to believe ‘she cheated by using magic - there was never really a paper of hers there’ at least not /actual/ magic, possibly a magic trick.  Besides; there was no paper, Amy still would have to write it, she only got a extension in a bad manner without getting a mark.

Amy turned into the opposite direction of Buffy, while the Slayer turned to follow her friends.  She looked Xander - or rather Lexa wearing a glamour of Xander - and suddenly realized something.  She could use this to her advantage.  Buffy smiled and quickly turned around, running after Amy.

The budding witch went up a few stairs, and Buffy easily caught up, catching her on the corner plateau half-way the next floor.  Buffy grabbed Amy and quickly pushed her up against the wall.  “Hello, Amy, I couldn’t help but notice you making with the magic just now,” Buffy whispered dangerously in Amy’s ear.  “Do you want to end up like your mother?”

“Now, that’s not-” Amy tried but Buffy cut her off.

“Uh uh, don’t bother with the excuses.  I could tell,” Buffy threatened with a grin.

Amy smiled back, and said, “They’d never believe you, they’d lock up in an asylum.”

Buffy’s smile didn’t falter, and told, “Oh, I don’t know.  Giles is a practician of magic, so is Miss Calendar - techno pagan you know.  They can’t exactly go to the board, but if you abuse your abilities, I’m certain they can come up with a way - isn’t there something called, ‘binding someone’s power’.”

Amy’s eyes widened with every word coming from the Slayer’s mouth, then suddenly narrowed them suspiciously, asking, “So why haven’t you yet?”

Buffy looked around, double checking no other students were in earshot, and said, “Well, I’m willing to make a deal.  Magic has done nothing but screw with my life; chosen here, curse there.  I want magic to work for me for a change.”

“Ah,” Amy said with a smile.

“Love spell,” Buffy said with a grumble.  “Can you do one?”

“Yeah, sure, the basics, but that’s dangerous stuff, you know,” Amy muttered, her eyes shifting left to right to make sure no one was near - even though she already knew that.

“Don’t worry,” Buffy smiled sweetly, loosening her grip, and then letting go completely. “All pure here, I’m in love with him, he’s in love with me, there’s just a little ‘ick’ thing in the way; a reaction to something horribly stupid I did.  Spell only needs to remove the ‘ick’, won’t even alter his deeper feelings or anything.”

Amy pulled Buffy along as they went further up the stairs, a few chatting students past them.  Once they were away, Amy said, “We could do it here after school, but I need something from him, something personal?”

“How personal?” Buffy frowned.

“No biggy, really, just something he owns,” Amy answered.

“Not a problem,” Buffy said and then sped off.

*****

“Hey, Lexa!” Buffy called, as she quickly walked up to her.  She had turned off the glamour, and actually looked like he really was right now.  “I forgot my brush, can I lend yours?”

“Oh, sure,” Lexa said with Oz, Cordelia and Lotion around her.  She pulled her backpack and umbrella forward and opened it, rummaging.  Off to her right a boy opened the drinking fountain and gulped some refreshing water down.  “Here,” Lexa said, holding out the brush. As Buffy took it, the drinking fountain exploded and a large geyser of water splashed onward. Buffy jumped back to avoid it, and widened her eyes as in one smooth motion Lexa pulled out and opened the umbrella, guarding her and their friends from the water.  Lexa’s expression was one of annoying acceptance.  Everyone else wasn’t so lucky though, and got soaking wet.   Buffy looked with wide-eyed surprise as a few moments later the water fountain died away, probably by someone closing a pipe somewhere.  “I’m really starting to hate this curse,” Lexa muttered, checking to see if her friends were wet or not.  They weren’t, they just looked around at all the other wet students with astonishment.

“Well, thanks, Lexa, I’ll go in the bathroom to freshen up now.  I’ll give it back to you in the morning.  See you in class in a bit,” Buffy said with a smile, and turned then away, before she got wet by one of Xander’s cursed water releases.

*****

After school

Buffy sat naked in the middle of a circle, holding black candle that was burning nicely.  Amy stood behind a desk, on which were several magical ingredients, most notably a small, glass, chemical reactant beaker in which a mixture was bubbling up.  She was slowly circled the brush attached to a small chain above it.  Red light circled around, making the mixture inside bubble.  The energy came from brush.  Amy recited, “Diana, goddess of love and hunt, I plead to thee.  Let this hunt be over, as it should be.  Remove the blemish on Buffy’s otherwise perfect love.  Let her beloved fill with their love once more, let him not be bothered no longer - for she has learned her lesson.  Let Xander Harris know this truth, let him love once more!”

There was a tiny flash and then the light swirled faster and disappeared.  “Now,” Amy told Buffy and she quickly blew out the candle.

*****

Buffy made several critical mistakes.  The first was that casting a love spell on someone who already loves you can never really be a good thing.  But much worse; at the moment, Xander Harris did not exist - and yet he did, but where should be, there was Lexa.  The spell looked for a male, and there just wasn’t one by the name of Xander Harris around.  A third critical mistake, was letting a magic spell clash with a person soaked in different kinds of magic. Luckily the glamour was not active, but another more powerful type of magic was always a active: a curse - a gender bending curse.  Sitting at home watching some tv after she was done with her homework and her training, Lexa give a shiver, looked around confused, and then shrugged, continuing to watch tv.

*****

Buffy happily walked into the school, seeing Xander-glamoured Lexa at her locker.  She hefted the brush, and walked confidently to her, missing a lot of eyes turning to follow her.  “Hey, Xan, here’s your brush back,” Buffy said with a smile.

“Thanks,” he said, turning around.  He closed his locker and took his brush back.

“So, how are you today?” Buffy asked with a smile.

“Good,” Xander said as he started to walk toward his class.  He gave Buffy a look, a silent question if she wanted to join him.  She fell in step, optimistic, so far so good.

“Nothing new?” Buffy asked him interested.

“No, I don’t think so, apart from the stuff in the paper and morning news, but nothing that important on there,” Xander answered, looking at her with a questioning look.

Buffy smiled, and asked, “Can I kiss you?”

Buffy sucked in her breath - this was it.  Had the spell worked?  “Kiss?” Xander asked uncomfortable.  “You mean a friendly on the cheek, you’re my friend kiss?”

Buffy’s hope crashed and burned in an instant.  “Yeah,” she answered weakly, and did exactly that, going to her toes as Xander lowered himself.

There was an extremely uncomfortable silence then, and a moment later Xander threw his thumb over his shoulder and said, “Ah, I gotta go.”

“Yeah, see you later,” Buffy said and then Xander was off.  Pain blossomed from her heart, and her face squinted up.  She couldn’t stop the first tear forming in her eyes.

She almost started to sob, when a voice said, “Forget him, he’s a bastard if he can’t see the beauty that is Buffy Summers.”  Buffy looked to her right to confirm it - indeed, it was Cordelia Chase of all people that was cheering her up.  How was this possible?

“Yeah, well, seeing my beauty isn’t the pro- . . .” Buffy blinked, shocked as Cordelia’s hands grabbed her waist.

“You are so beautiful,” Cordelia said with dreamy eyes.

“Wha-!?” Buffy started, but was interrupted by Cordelia’s lips crushing to hers, and the other girl’s tongue entering her mouth and starting an erotic massage of her own.  Buffy’s eyes were wide with complete shock, not comprehending, and unable to bring up her wits to do anything but endure the deeply passionate kiss.

“How /dare/ you!?” a voice hissed in rage, and Cordelia was yanked off of her.  Four girls, Harmony up front, looked enraged at the queen of Sunnydale High, who seemed none too happy at the intrusion.  Buffy stayed standing here, still dazed and shocked at the event. Harmony continued, “There aren’t many thinks I’ve ever asked of you, Cordelia!  How can you do this to me!?  You got all the hot guys, and we get the second rate stuff, now I’m in love with an amazing girl for once, and you decide to take her away from us as well?”

That took Buffy out of her daze, although she was still frozen on the spot, only jerking her head to look in disbelief at the bottle blonde.  “You always were stupid, Harmony.  If you think I’d bother with stealing something away from you.  There’s nothing to steal, /I’m/ in love with Buffy, and she will be mine, and I’d like to see you try to do something about it, you pathetic sheep.”

“Oz?” Buffy whimpered, hoping that Cordelia remember her true love.

Instead Harmony hissed, “I’m /not/ going to let it happen again, Buffy’s /mine/.”

“No, mine,” one of the other girls said.

“All traitors!” Cordelia hissed, as Harmony looked at the other girl betrayed.  Next moment the blonde got a fist against her chin and she slumped into unconsciousness.  The other three girls jumped Cordelia instantly.

Buffy was yanked by her left arm, and she let herself be pulled away - the fighting girls didn’t notice, but Buffy doubted that with Cordelia’s training that would last long: just about as short as the fight.  She was pulled around a corner, and deposited gently against a wall.

“I thought I’d get you out of there.”

“Yeah, thanks, Will,” Buffy replied to the redhead that had pulled her along.  She bent down, leaning on her knees, almost starting to hyperventilate.  What had that been?  Could it be- no, had to be the Hellmouth, or a demon, trying to mess with her.

“No thanks necessary, Buffy,” Willow replied with a sexy smile, “how could I possibly let anything happen to that beautiful body of yours.”

“Yeah, I suppose it would be a cri-” Buffy started, mouth open in shock as she felt Willow’s hands around her waist.

“That cute butt of yours, those breasts, that nose, and those oh so kissable lips,” Willow purred, pressing herself even closer.

“What?” Buffy squeaked, managing a very good approximation of Willow’s nervous squeaks.  “Wh-what about Xander?” she asked quickly, feeling Willow’s curves press in her own.

“Xander . . . nice, but Buffy, I just focused on him while I worked up the courage to make my move on you,” Willow said huskily, and then pressed her lips against Buffy’s, repeating Cordelia’s actions earlier.

“Mmh, mmh, mmno!” Buffy pushed Willow back gently, holding her at arm’s length by Willow’s shoulders.

“Buffy, please don’t reject me,” Willow asked sadly.

“Willow!  You don’t love me, you love Xander / Lexa.  Snap out of it!  Please!” Buffy pleaded in horror, looking around as she noticed more and more fellow students turn to face her.  The same look in their eyes as Willow’s and Cordelia’s: love, lust, unholy versions that seemed to be fueled by crimson hell fires that gave Buffy the shivers.

“We’re best friends, Buffy, why are you rejecting me?” Willow asked Buffy with a scary pout.

“*Get away from her!*”

The order was forceful and loud, and neither Buffy nor Willow could keep from looking over.  Jenny Calendar stood there with a cool, dangerous look.  “Miss Calendar, please tell me you’re not under the spell,” Buffy asked desperately.

“Don’t worry, Buffy, I’m not,” Jenny said coolly all her faculties focused on Willow who turned away from Buffy.  The Slayer let out a slight bit of air, not daring to let any more of her relief out for fear the Hellmouth would jinx it.

“Buffy is mine,” Willow said angrily, which made Buffy gulp - she did /not/ like the tone in her best friend’s voice.

“Willow, as your mentor and friend, I will tell you this as gently as possible,” Jenny said, partly relaxing, preparing for what she had to do, “you’re under a spell, and before you do things you will regret, step away from your friend.  I’m well-trained in the arts of magic, Willow, unlike you.  You cannot win this,” Jenny said as an unmistakable aura of power started to form around her, “You must end this unhealthy fixation on me and Buffy, Willow, before you regret doing what you’re going to be doing.  Now unlike your jealousy driven love, my love for Buffy is pure, it is real, and I will defend it and her.”

Buffy’s eyes were open in shock, thinking, *Oh, no, not you too.*

In response to Jenny’s power up, Buffy felt her skin begin to crawl as Willow responded in kind.  “You will not touch her,” Willow hissed at her mentor.

Buffy quickly ducked and ran to her right, before they could refocus on her.  She could try to beat her up, but she figured that taking on two magic users who could turn her into whatever would be bad for her health - or at least bad for her hair.  “That’s right, Buffy.  You get out of here so I can take care of this immoral, black magic bitch,” Buffy heard Jenny say and sped up.

“Immoral?” Willow said angrily.  “You’re the one who started it, I’m just defending myself.  That makes /you/ the immoral one, you slut!”

“That does it!  Ignis!” Jenny hissed and a fireball fired from her hands.

“Hydris!” Willow said in response and a ball of water fired from her hands, the two cancelling each other out with a sizzle and vapor.  The two started circling each other, then testing the others abilities.

“Oh, my god!  Oh, my god!” Buffy muttered speeding up, horrified at knowing two of her friends were fighting each other.  Any doubt had left her mind; this could only have been her and Amy’s spell somehow.  She needed Giles!  And so she ran faster, keeping her eyes straight ahead, and zipping past students, missing how more and more eyes turn to regard her.  But Slayer enhanced speed enhanced by chi, she was out of sight in the blink of an eye, and nobody could follow her.

*****

Lexa in the guise of Xander sauntered along Sunnydale High, just minding his own business, thinking about why Buffy would push this.  A group of jocks and a few more guys, a total of twelve stepped in front of Xander.  They all looked tough.  Among them were Larry and Jack O’Toole.  “Harris,” Larry took leadership of the group, looking dangerous.

“Well, hello, Larry, what brings you and your friends here?” Xander asked both confused and suspicious.

“You know very well!” Larry growled out, pointing at him angrily, as Jack pulled out his knife and opened it.  Xander didn’t answer, just looked forward with raised, expectant eyebrows.  “You spurned Buffy’s love!  She’s the most beautiful, amazing girl in . . . like ever, and that hurt her!  How can you hurt her!?  I cannot let that pass, I must defend my beloved!”

The others nodded and growled in agreement.  “Uh . . . aren’t you gay?” Xander asked utterly confused now.

“Gay!?” he asked with a horrified face, “how can any man be or remain gay after seeing the divine beauty of Buffy Summers!?”

“Right . . . so now what?” Xander asked still not knowing what was going on.

“Kill him!” Jack O’Toole gleefully ordered, and the guys charged Xander.

Xander first removed Jack and his knife, then exactly thirteen attacks later, a dozen guys lay unconscious on the floor.  Xander rubbed his hands together up and down and said with a grin, “Now that was a nice workout.”

“Buffy!?”

Xander turned around and saw Jonathan standing there happily.  “Did they say you know where Buffy was!?” he asked with large happy eyes.  “Tell me where she is.  She’s so beautiful I’m in love with her.”

Xander looked at him for a moment with wide eyes and then shook his head.  With a quick motion his fist slammed into Jonathan’s chin and he slumped into unconsciousness. “Trust me, Jonathan,” Xander groaned, down at the prone guy, “it’s for your own good.” Xander then stepped over him, and muttered, “Giles.  He should be able to figure out what’s going on and how to stop it.”

*****

“Giles!  Giles!  You gotta help me!” Buffy yelled as she burst into the library.

“Of course, Buffy, is something wrong?” Giles asked casually as he walked from behind the counter.

“I’ve done something bad, /really/ bad, and uh . . . well . . .” Buffy said afraid and embarrassment.  “It went wrong.”

“Now, calm down, Buffy, begin at the beginning, please,” Giles told her with a nod from his head.

Buffy took several deep breaths, and said, “You know how Xander and me are kinda stuck, right?  He’s got the whole ick because of what I did with . . .”  Buffy shivered with disgust at her own action as she usually did when mentioning the event, an unwanted memory of the cold and clammy corpse pressing up against.  She shook her head to clear it, and continued, “Well, I wanted to remove the ick, so we could move on . . . so I blackmailed Amy into a love spell . . .”

“That is indeed very bad, Buffy, very bad indeed,” Giles spoke thoughtfully, but sternly.

“Yeah, well . . . it gets worse.  The spell went wrong, now every girl in school is in love with me, and wants me, and not in a healthy kinda way, more like in an insane I’m-going-to-kill-everyone-in-my-way way,” Buffy explained with terror on her face, peeking over Giles shoulder hoping they wouldn’t barge through the door.

“Well, Buffy, that was very naughty, you are definitely a bad girl,” Giles said walking past Buffy with his right hand on his chin to think.  “I would almost say to just let you live with the consequences of your actions as punishment, but that we be bad for the others.  I think I’ll just have to give you a proper British bare-bottomed caning instead.”  His left hand slapped Buffy’s ass hard.

Buffy’s jaw dropped and her eyes widened in shock.  Then she chuckled, “Giles, trust me, I’ve already learned my lesson, you do not need to pretend you’re affected as well.  Really, can we focus on solving the magic problem, now?”  She turned to face Giles and looked at the smiling Brit with hopeful eyes, “You’re just pretending, right?”

“Buffy,” Giles spoke huskily, making a sexy gravely voice come from his throat.  He stepped forward and put an arm around Buffy’s shoulder, “I know you are afraid to confess to our immortal love - teacher/student, watcher/Slayer, people would disapprove, people would try to stop us, but be brave my beautiful, sexy Slayer.  Together, with my brains and your newfound beyond Slayer strength, no one could stop us, we can finally consummate our love.  And first that caning, you naughty, bad, little girl.”

The look on Buffy’s face was of abject terror - in fact it was /beyond/ abject terror.  It was worse enough that now the only one left who might be able to do something about the magic was just as affected, it was /much/ worse that Giles was now in love with her, wanted to have her in so many ways she didn’t think she’d /ever/ wanted to be had.  And his lips were coming down to her.  “No, no!” she squeaked out in horror - if Giles - /Giles/ - managed to kiss her, she’d die!  It was worse enough she’d just been kissed by girl after girl, but this she would never survive!

The sudden, loud, violent opening of the library doors saved Buffy.  Or rather the Amazon that came flying in saved Buffy.  “She said, ‘No,’ you curd!” Lotion yelled in anger, slamming into Giles with her right foot.  A follow up punch sent the librarian to the floor - unconscious. Lotion turned to face a still shaken Buffy, and she said, “Buffy!  I’m sorry I wasn’t here sooner.  He didn’t hurt you, did he, honey?”

Oh, no!  This was bad, really bad!  With Lotion having mastered the chestnuts herself, and the advantage of surprise gone, Buffy knew Lotion was pretty much just as strong as she was.   Everyone else, even Giles, she was more then powerful enough to keep off of her - Lotion was a whole other matter.  The Amazon might very well succeed, especially in her out-of-her-mind state to defeat her completely in an all out fight - and somehow she was pretty sure there wasn’t much left of the effected’s moral compass.  This was not good!  Not good at all!

“He didn’t hurt me,” Buffy confirmed, taking a step back.

“Let’s go somewhere private, Buffy, then we can do everything we want to,” Lotion said with a flurry and took a step forward.  “No man, after all, could understand our great Amazon love.”

“What if I don’t wan to do anything?” Buffy asked at the Amazon with an uncertain look and a meek voice.

“Don’t worry,” Lotion said with a smile, her brown hair beautifully framing her face, “I’ll have you fired up in no time, my little bombshell.”  Buffy looked decidedly unhappy, and seriously grossed out.

“You stupid Amazon.”

Buffy and Lotion turned their heads and watched Amy walk into the library steadily and deliberately.  The blonde continued, “Can you not see she’s afraid of you?  She has no feelings for you.  It is me that has her love.  Now get away from her, because I will not let you hurt my beautiful Buffy.”

This was just getting worse and worse.  Her true, final chance!  Lotion hissed back, “You dare little girl?  I cold snap you in two like a twig, you bottle-blonde witch!  Get lost, so me and Buffy can take some time for each other.”

“Nobody keeps Buffy and me apart,” Amy whispered dangerously, and stretched out her hands.  “Goddess Hecate, work thy will, before thee make the unclean thing crawl.”

*****

Xander burst into the library doors, and slammed them closed right behind him, turning around immediately.  He grabbed a cabinet standing next to the counter and planted it in front of the door to keep it closed.  “Giles!” Xander called out haggardly having been knocking out guys and avoiding girls pissed at him, or just plain wanted Buffy through him.  He turned around while continuing, “Do you have any idea what the hell is going . . . on?”

Buffy stood frozen and afraid to the spot.  Giles lay on the floor.  Lotion realized what Amy was doing and rapidly jumped forward.  “. . . unclean thing crawl,” Amy finished and let herself fall backward to avoid Lotion’s lunge.  A bright beam of energy shot upward from her hands, hit Lotion and the Amazon screamed as energy danced around her and she shrunk . . . a moment later she was a rat wrapped in her own clothes that fell down to the floor, unceremoniously slamming on the ground.  The rat got up half dazed, trying to find a way out of the maze of clothes, only it’s shape visible.

“Oh, my god!” Buffy shrieked out in shock.  “Xander!”  Buffy then quickly ran passed a satisfied Amy and placed herself behind him.  “You gotta help me, Xander, you’re the only one still normal.  Everyone else wants me as their girlfriend, and I don’t think they’re satisfied with a few kisses.  I have no idea what to do!”

Amy had turned around and looked angrily at Xander, who shook his head to clear it.   “Will you keep me from my love as well?” Amy growled out angrily, looking at the two.

“No, why would I do that?  I’m all for the victory of love,” Xander answered friendly, making Buffy widen her eyes in shock, then she felt a reassuring squeeze in her arm.  Amy nodded with a smile.  “Keep her busy,” Xander whispered, and quickly walked over to the Lotion-Rat who only slowly started to regain her balance after slamming into the ground, as well as finding the way out.  Xander hoped that meant the rat hadn’t inherited Lotion’s strength like the Ryoga-Pig inherited Ryoga’s strength.  Xander quickly picked up the rat as Giles groaned.  He kept it wrapped in the clothes, apart from its snout so it could breath, and entangled the beast.

As Xander went over to the counter to get a rope to fasten the rat with so she couldn’t get away.  At the same time Amy had reached Buffy, and she smiled nervously at the powerful witch.  “You’re so beautiful,” Amy muttered with a smile.  “I noticed that so last night, when we did our illicit little naughty things.”

“WHAT!?” Xander called out shocked as Giles started to rise.

“Spell,” Buffy said horrified as she thought what Xander might be thinking.

“Buffy!” Giles cried out turning to face Buffy and Amy who was decidedly too gropy for Buffy’s tastes right now.  “What is /she/ doing there!?”

“What does it look like, you old goat!?” Amy asked with a sneer and proceeded with kissing Buffy, who swung her arms up and down not knowing what else to do with her horror.

As Giles snarled, and Xander looked from the two women to the librarian and back again in mounting confusion, Buffy pushed Amy off of her and quickly ran over to Xander at the counter.  Behind her, both magic users charged up several spells, muttering hatefully against each other, while Buffy pleaded with Xander, “I didn’t mean this to happen.  It was just to get rid of your ick, it shouldn’t have done anything else.  You’re trying to deal with, to make it go away, this way should just have sped it up a bit . . .”  Buffy trailed off and looked behind her at Amy and Giles ready to start a magic duel over her love, and then at the Lotion-Rat, who had regained her full bearings and was screeching in anger at her bonds jerking toward Buffy. Luckily the rope and clothes held for now.  Buffy whimpered, tears in her eyes, “This was not supposed to happen?  How can it even effect them all anyway, especially girls, I cast it on you.”

“Buffy,” Xander said disappointed and rubbed the ring, revealing her true form.  The hot girl version of him that he had given the name Lexa, told her, “There was no Xander last night, hasn’t been here for quite a while, partially because of you!  You cast a love spell, on a guy, who is a girl, because of, and thus saturated with, a gender-bending curse!  HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND!?”  Buffy jerked back and gave a sob.  “Sorry,” Lexa said gently, and quickly jumped over the counter and took Buffy into an embrace, “I shouldn’t have lost my temper - plenty of opportunity for that after we solve this mess.”

“I’m sorry,” Buffy said, as Giles’ and Amy’s gazes had turned away from each other toward the girl having the audacity to hug the love of their lives.

Lexa quickly let go to avert disaster and pushed Buffy next to her.  “Have you two heard? This mess is all a love spell,” Lexa said hopefully.

“Of course I’ve heard.  I’m not deaf, you bloody wanker,” Giles told him angrily.

“I cast it!” Amy said angrily.

“Well, then it isn’t real, you gotta find a way to get rid of it, I’m not magic-babe here,” Lexa told them, still hopeful.

“Yours and the others are the spell, my love is true.  You looked so beautiful in candle light, Buffy.  It made me realize my true feelings for you, and I know you feel the same,” Amy said with love in her eyes.  Buffy squeaked, doing a good imitation of Willow.

“You take that back.  A love between a Slayer and her Watcher is true!” Giles proclaimed righteously, puffing out his chest.

*Oh, boy,* Lexa thought, looking over at the horrified and guilt-ridden Buffy.  She wasn’t going to get any help from the Slayer, that was for sure.  It was all up her . . . There was a pounding on the library doors, and multiple voices unintelligibly filtering through.  This was getting worse by the second.  Suddenly she had an idea.

“You’re right!” Lexa said out loud.  “The both of you!”  Giles and Amy looked at her, and Lexa came over clasping her hands sisterly on their shoulders.  “Your love Amy is true, it’s not the spell, and the same goes for you, Giles.  Buffy is madly, /truly/ in love with the both of you.”

“What!?” three voices told shocked.

Lexa waved Buffy down quickly, and continued, “Yes, it’s Buffy’s curse, too much love to give to only one person.  It’s tearing her up inside, truly tragic!”  Giles and Amy looked sympathetically to their ‘love’.  “Same happened with me and Angel, remember, Giles?  She just needs time to decide, or if you’re willing, share.”  The two looked at each other as the library door and the cabinet audibly started to strain under the onslaught.  “Let’s focus on the important thing right now, shall we?  The spell, please tell me you can lift it.”

“Sure, but I would need the same personal object-” Amy started.

“Your brush!” Buffy quickly exclaimed, and ducked in on herself as she caught Lexa’s glare sent her way.

“Then you two work together, and lift the spell!” Lexa said, taking her hands away from Giles and Amy to get out her brush.

“I don’t see the point,” Giles said looking over to the door, and Amy seemed to agree.

Holding out the brush, Lexa explained, “But don’t you two see?  You have Buffy’s true love; imagine the torture of not having it?  Would you do that onto yourselves?  Worse, those under the spell - do you hear them?  There are many, and they’d hurt Buffy no doubt.  And if you lift the spell, all their love is gone, and only your true love remains - /only/ /your/ true love.”  Lexa gave the both of them a smile, and they smiled back turning to look at the other, both thinking they other’s might go as well.  “You have to turn Lotion back into a human as well, Amy,” Lexa added quickly, taking a look at the door and hoping it’d hold out just more.

“Why?!  She got what she deserved, she would have hurt my Buffy,” Amy spat out poisonously, looking at the rat.

“But that’s the spell, don’t you see?” Lexa said with a grin and a sisterly smile.  “It’s not her fault, she doesn’t really love Buffy, she just got her mind scrambled and she isn’t thinking straight.  Remove the love spell, and she won’t ever try to go after Buffy ever again.”

“The boy may be annoying, but he’s right, you know,” Giles contemplated thoughtfully, taking in the screeching rat.

“All right,” Amy agreed.

Lexa nodded with a triumphant grin, and then held his hand back.  Turning to get eye contact with Buffy, she said, “Come on, Buff, we gotta go.”  Buffy looked surprised, and Lexa repeated more assertively, “Come on.”

Buffy went over, and Amy asked suspiciously, “Where are you taking, Buffy?”

“To save her life, /and/ get them off your back,” Lexa said, pointing at the doors being audibly pounded by a mob, “so you can finish lifting the spells!”

“Good, we will hurry so Buffy and my love can flourish, and I will enjoy administering the bare-bottomed caning for casting this spell,” Giles said with a big horny smile.

“I will help,” Amy added with a smile.  “Buffy was a bad girl blackmailing me into that after all.”

Lexa froze, and Buffy shuddered.  Lexa slammed her right hand in her forehead, then shook her head, and said, “I so didn’t need to have that image burned in my brain.”

“You?  What do you think of me?” Buffy asked him.  Lexa looked at her a moment, and conceded the point with gesture of his head.  The brunette walked up to the barrier that was about to break, and grabbed Buffy around her waist.  “Get ready,” Lexa said determinedly.

“Can’t we go out the window?” Buffy asked concerned.

“Nope, they’ll enter the library and disturb Giles and Amy, we need to lead them away,” Lexa told her, and pushed out her right foot, putting it under the cabinet.

“I can jump as high as you can, you know,” Buffy said, looking down at the tightening arm around her waist.

“This isn’t about high, Buff,” Lexa answered and kicked the cabinet away from the doors. Buffy held her breath as the library doors flung open and a mob of amorous students came stampeding in.  Instantly Lexa jumped over the kids, just underneath the top of the doors and landed on the wall, holding Buffy tightly.  She pushed off the wall forward and across the crowd in the hall who were looking up at the feat, and more importantly who she was carrying. Once more Lexa landed against the wall and with another push off landed on the floor, just behind the mob that had turned around by now.

Lexa took a look back for a moment, and then pushed Buffy onward, straightening back up.  “Go!” she said, and they ran, quickly and easily outpacing the mob.  A short run later they exited the school and came to a halt.  In front of them was another mob, lead by Willow, Jenny, and Cordelia.  The latter was holding an axe, while magic energy crackled between the fingers of the first two.

“We understand now, Buffy,” Jenny said with a pained grin.

“Yes, you played us, just like Lexa and Angel, you were just toying with us, making us fight each other,” Willow spoke darkly.  Lexa looked back quickly to see the other mob come closer steadily.  Buffy looked at the with wide eyes, not understanding how she could have screwed up this horribly.

Then Cordelia growled for the finish, “If we can’t have your love, nobody will.”  The mob nodded and made sounds of agreement as they started charging forward.

Lexa grabbed Buffy and jumped, somersaulting backward to land on the school’s roof. Buffy blinked and shook her head seeing the mob below scream bloody murder - literally. “Let’s go,” Lexa said, steering Buffy left and they jumped over to another roof, and went onward.  They turned right and jumped again.  They made several more jumps in different directions and then they slid quickly down into a garden of a house.  Not taking the change someone inside saw Buffy and came to proclaim their eternal love for her, Lexa pulled Buffy along, leaving the garden and then started running down the pavement.

“I’m so sorry, Xander,” Buffy said as she ran next to her.  “I just wanted to get rid of the ick, nothing more, nothing more.”

Lexa shook her head, and said, “Buffy, even if you’d have nicely succeeded it would still have been wrong.  You would have torn a piece of me out; even if it’s something I was trying to get out - working on it, that’s just plain horrible to do.  What we would have had, wouldn’t have been real either, just an illusion.  This is something I have to work through, and thus you as well.”

“I’m sorry,” Buffy said, still running.

They started to cross the street as Lexa said, “You’re forgiven, by me at least - when this is over, I’m not so certain about the rest of them.”

Buffy looked down, and was surprised when Lexa stopped her.  She looked onward why, and she knew instantly.  Up ahead, some hundred meters, stood Ryoga.  The street on the right side was just pavement and houses, but on the left there were trees planted and strip of grass was present between the pavement and where the fences started around the house’s gardens. He spotted them, and came walking over with a smile, which then turned dark.  “How big is the chance he just stepped in dog poop?” Buffy asked Lexa.

“When you screw up, Buffy, you don’t take half measures, do you?” Lexa grimaced, slowly backing up.  “Keep going, get to your house.”

“Won’t they come looking for me there?” Buffy asked her concerned.

“Yes, eventually, but they seem rather brain dead under the spell’s influence, and unlike every house here, there won’t be anyone there who’s in love with you.  Keep the doors locked and you should be able to hold out for a bit.  Hide your mother, and be ready to flee out the window,” Lexa said quickly as Ryoga reached a closer difference.

“You!”  Ryoga exclaimed angrily.  “I knew it!  A man who stays a girl for a month, shouldn’t be trusted!  First you make me a pig, and now you keep the love of my life away from me!  Prepare to die!”

Lexa groaned, in annoyance.  Buffy looked fearfully at her, the silent question clear in her eyes, ‘You can’t take him, can you?’

Lexa grinned, and asked, “Are you certain there’s no way to talk this out?”

With a quick roar Ryoga pointed his massive umbrella at Xander, and growled, “I will kill you!  And then I will kill Ranma!  No doubt he’s told you to keep my love away from me!”

“Go,” Lexa said and pushed Buffy off to the right, while jumping back to barely avoid the umbrella coming down.  Where it landed, it tore open the asphalt and pieces of it went flying everywhere.  “Ah, man,” Lexa muttered at the visual reminder at just how deadly the umbrella was.  Buffy in the mean time, ran as hard as she could, hoping for the best.

With a new roar Ryoga attacked, stabbing the heavy umbrella forward like it didn’t weigh a thing.  Lexa avoided it, but the umbrella already came forward for a new strike.  She ducked and grabbed Ryoga’s wrist.  With another roar Ryoga came forward as Lexa came up, and the eternal lost boy smashed his forehead into Lexa’s nose.  “Ugh!” she yelled, blood spraying from her mouth and nose and staggering back.  Ignoring the pain she moved forward, quickly blocking the next downward strike at Ryoga’s wrist to keep from getting crushed.  She kicked out hard against Ryoga’s chin.  A moment later Lexa doubled over with a devastating punch to her gut.  She groaned in pain, coughing, and then was launched away by another punch to her face.

She slammed face first into the asphalt and rolled up and over a few times.  She groaned, feeling her tender stomach.  “Fucking bastard,” Lexa muttered, forcing herself to her feet and seeing Ryoga advance on her.  Then she yelled angrily, “You’ve been going easy on me during our workouts, Ryoga!”

Ryoga just snarled, Buffy first and foremost in his mind, and to get to her, Lexa had to go. Ryoga slammed his umbrella down, breaking open some more asphalt.  He then made a sideways swipe, under which Lexa ducked.  “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire!” Lexa yelled with a grunt, jumping forward to perform the devastatingly fast move.  Ryoga grumbled, annoyed with the move, forced on the defensive.  Several punches came through, but more importantly Ryoga felt a yank and his umbrella was flying.  Lexa pressed her advantage and slammed a shoulder tackle in Ryoga’s stomach which made him go, “Oof!”  She made an uppercut right after that, and Ryoga flew back, made a backward somersault and landed.  Lexa still flew onward and with a yell started a spinning kick.  Ryoga grabbed her right foot and yanked her over him, slamming her on the asphalt.

“Urgh,” Lexa mutter, feeling pain through her entire body but forcing herself to quickly roll right.  Just on time to avoid Ryoga from stomping on her back.  With a motion she made a swipe at his legs, but he jumped back, allowing her the time to get back up.

Ryoga looked at Lexa, and then gave an evil grin, that Lexa knew he would only be able to produce under the influence of magic.  “RAAR!” he roared charging forward.  Lexa’s eyes widened in surprise as Ryoga flew at her with a single finger.  She jumped back a bit when the finger went straight down, and too her even greater surprise slam into the asphalt.

There was a loud crash, and explosion, and suddenly pellets of asphalt, and even bigger pieces were sent everywhere.  Lexa put her hands in front of her, but was still hit all over with fast moving rocks.  “Ah, urgh, damn!” she exclaimed, and looked - seeing a hole a meter in diameter where Ryoga had put his finger.  She looked in surprise as Ryoga went to do the same thing again, slamming his finger into the asphalt just in front of her.  She jumped back once again, but again the explosion was there and asphalt rocks slammed in her.  *Lotion was not exaggerating even a little bit, damn it!* she thought as she yelled in pain.  She felled laceration on her stomach and breasts, on her arms and legs.

She had to do something, she realized even as she jumped back to avoid Ryoga’s third such attack, this one on the pavement - the tile exploded just as well as the asphalt.  “I will kill you,” Ryoga hissed at Lexa and prepared for a fourth time.  Lexa charged forward, intent on not letting him use that again, which is exactly what Ryoga wanted her to do.  He suddenly accelerated forward and slammed his knee in Lexa’s stomach.

“OOogh!” the girl exclaimed with the pain, her wind knocked out of her lungs, not having been able to release it and tighten her muscles on time.  A second knee followed, and then a punch, making Lexa moan out more, although these were a slightly less bad than the first, having been able to tighten her muscles in the mean time.  Ryoga followed up with a cross to the kneeling girl’s chin, then an elbow pulled back to upper right side of her face.  Lexa screamed in pain as Ryoga finished it with an uppercut, some more blood flying from her mouth as she was launched into the air and landed painfully on the grass, but still hard ground.

“Urgh,” she gurgled, about ready to give up - everything hurt, her ribs, her stomach, her face, even her breasts and legs.  She could barely move, and felt darkness encroaching upon her.  *What about Buffy?*  That single thought, as well as the horrifying images of what the immensely strong magic-love-crazed Ryoga could do to her, brought her back from the darkness very quickly.  A cold anger and with it an adrenaline surge burned through her body.

Ryoga appeared towering above her, and he grunted, “Still awake, huh?”  He raised his foot to finish it.

Lexa looked left and right, her aching body protesting the simple movement.  To her left she saw her possible salvation: Ryoga’s immensely heavy umbrella.  She sat up, pushing Ryoga’s foot away, and attacked his stomach while she flew to her feet.  “Chestnuts Roasting on an Open Fire!” she screamed with all her might, throwing the fastest yet, every single one of the punches slammed in Ryoga’s gut.  For good measure she added an uppercut to sent him flying back, then flipped to her left, picking up the umbrella with a little strain.

Not too surprisingly, the Chestnuts didn’t have much effect on Ryoga, who had gotten so much stronger than her.  “You will pay!” Ryoga hissed angrily.  “I will kill you, and then I will claim Buffy for myself!”

*Magic people, brain dead people,* Lexa repeated what she told Buffy to herself, and then swung the umbrella from left to right with all her might, groaning in pain as her body protested the move.

Ryoga moved to block, but not even he could stop the mass of his own umbrella accelerated by Lexa’s might.  It slammed against his arm and then against his face, smashing the arm in it as well.  “Argh!” he called out in pain as he was sent flying backward while screwing around his own axis.  He slammed on the asphalt, just next to first hole he created, and then slowly, but steadily started to get up.

“Fuck!” Lexa called moving over quickly.  “Stay down!” she yelled as slammed the umbrella on Ryoga’s back with an over-head, two-handed swing.

“Aargh!” Ryoga screamed as he was sent back to the asphalt.  Incredibly he started to get up again.

“Ryoga, just stay down!” Lexa cried, repeating the procedure, but not wanting to seriously hurt the guy.  The umbrella hit solidly, and then Ryoga finally slumped into unconsciousness.

Lexa stayed on guard for a few moments, till she was certain he was really out, and tossed the umbrella off to her right.  “Finally!” she groaned and slumped down herself, breathing hard, and bleeding almost just as hard.  She let herself fall on her back, and groaned in pain and relief.  “Ow,” she muttered, and then lifted her head.  She pulled up her ruined top, and looked at blue and purples stains everywhere.  She moved her hands across a few ribs, and hissed at the pain.  “Shit, he might even have broken them,” she whispered, thinking a trip to the infirmary might just be in order.  Then she cupped her aching breasts for a moment.  After that she moved up, and felt her tender face, feeling the bleeding wounds and the taste of it in her mouth.  She pictured what she’d look like in the morning - a right black eye, no doubt, as well as swollen lips and cheeks.  There was no way she wasn’t using the glamour - she was going to be cool, unblemished Xander all day, that was for sure.  She turned her head toward Ryoga, and muttered, “No way you’re not teaching me that move, buster, no way, aagh.”

*****

Two blocks away, walked a spiky-haired guy.  He sniffed the air, and barely smiled.  “Buffy,” he muttered with a smile.  Oz took several more steps, and then gasped.  Grunting he sank to his hands and knees.  His grunts turned to growls as his body started growing, then gained fur, his clothes tore open.  A moment later a werewolf howled at the sun, to go find his mate, and charged off.

*****

A still lying down Lexa heard the howling and shook her head.  “He must have hit me harder than I thought,” she muttered to herself, and chuckled.  “No full moon in sight, not even a moon, no way Oz could be . . . fucking magic!”  Lexa sat up, her body protesting as pain lanced through it.  Ignoring it, she got up, grunting, “Buffy.”  The Slayer could keep herself out of any non-trained, normal human being, but a lust-crazed werewolf might be a problem.   Then Lexa started running, ignoring the raging pain in her body, toward where Buffy would be.

*****

Buffy closed the door behind her, and quickly locked it.  “Mom!  Mom!” she called out with a little dread.  Let none of the ones she’d made crazy gotten here first and hurt her mom because she wouldn’t let Buffy go out on a date with the crazy or something.

“Yes, honey?” Joyce answered as she came out of the kitchen drying her hands with a towel.

“Oh, thank god,” Buffy said and walked quickly toward the kitchen and the back exit, “Close and windows you have open, there are some people not in their right minds out now!”

“I don’t have any windows open, honey,” Joyce said, and Buffy nodded good.  She reached the back exit and quickly locked it.

“You seem pained, Buffy,” Joyce said concerned.  “Come sit down, and tell me what’s the matter.”

Buffy sat down, and said, “I screwed up so badly, mom.  I wanted to free Xander of his ick reaction toward me, so I did a little love spell, except . . . oh, god, it went wrong, because of Xander’s curse.”  She turned to look in her mother’s concerned eyes, and with her own pained ones she said, “Now everyone is magically in love with me, and want me no matter what - or they want me dead because . . . oh, god.”

“Oh, don’t worry, honey,” Joyce said and took her daughter in an embrace pulling her close against her body, “I’m sure the others are solving the problem, right?”

Buffy nodded, sniffing in her stress - she couldn’t fight ordinary people that she made this way, friends even, she could only run and it played hell on her and her Slayer sensibilities. “Some of them, at least,” she sobbed slightly.

“Ssh, then, everything, will be all right,” Joyce soothed her daughter, making the hug a little tighter, letting the up and down motions of her arms on Buffy’s back go lower.  “Then we have time, time to enjoy ourselves,” Joyce spoke huskily.

Buffy’s eyes flew open, and she asked with dread, “Mom?”  There was just no way!  No way the magic could be this sick!  Xander hadn’t thought it could be either!  So just no way.

Joyce pulled her head back to look in her daughter’s eyes, and she whispered, “Shh, mommy’s here now.”  She moved her head underneath Buffy’s chin and angled her pretty head back a bit.  “There’s no love like the love between a mother and daughter,” Joyce said huskily.

Buffy’s eyes were wide, shocked, “No!”

“Don’t worry, Buffy, it’s time we say hell with society’s rules.  Mommy /knows/ best, and incest /is/ best,” Joyce spoke with a sexy grin and dipped her mouth down.

“OH, MY GOD!” Buffy screeched and pushed back to get away.  Her stool tipped over and she fell backward on the ground, looking up with a dropped jaw as Joyce sensually got off her stool.

Buffy scrambled back before getting up, looking shocked at Joyce advancing on her. “No!  Mom, you can’t do this, this is wrong, snap out of it, this is the spell!” Buffy pleaded with her mother.  But Joyce advanced with swaying hips.

“Come on, Buffy, let our love burn brightly, let our passion be doused only by our juices. Mother and daughter together forever,” Joyce spoke with a lustful look.

“No, mom!  We are /not/ doing this!” Buffy pleaded with horror, circling backwards around the counter.

Joyce stopped and frowned.  Buffy stopped as well, hopefully.  “Why would you spurn this greatest love of all loves!?” Joyce asked Buffy suspiciously.  “A little taboo shouldn’t stop my daughter, it didn’t stop her to make love to a corpse.”  Buffy gulped, pained at the truth, feeling another icky sensation crawl up her spine as the memories of that night filtered into her. “You’re not my daughter!” Joyce suddenly exclaimed, having come to a conclusion.

“What!?” Buffy asked in confusion.

“You’re a vampire, or some other demon that took my daughter’s body, or a shape shifter!  You’re a monster!  My daughter loves me, you don’t,” Joyce exclaimed with newfound determination.

“I love you, just not in that way,” Buffy peeped out quickly, backing away at her suddenly crazy mom.

“My daughter taught me what to do!” Joyce spoke with loving tone mentioning Buffy, and went to the drawer holding knives and a stake.

“Oh, my god,” Buffy muttered and quickly turned around to leave.  A moment later there was zipping sound, and Buffy rapidly turned her upper body, catching a knife that came sailing right at her.

“Demon!  Give me back my daughter!” Joyce raged, grabbing another knife.

Buffy ran into the living room, and heard a powerful back.  The front door vibrated and shook, bending partially.  Slayer speed made her reach the window in no time and she looked briefly outside.  Slayer vision made her identify a werewolf that had just slammed into the door backing away for another good running start.  People started coming into the garden, going for the windows.  “Oh, shit, Oz?” Buffy muttered, twisting around to catch the next knife, while her armed-to-the-teeth, raging mother flinging obscenities at her came barging from the kitchen.

Buffy quickly jumped to the stairs and started running up it, just as windows were broken in and angry boys, girls, men and women came filtering through them.  Cursing Buffy looked left and right, trying to figure out which way to go, as down below with her mother up front, love-sick people started climbing the stairs.  Briefly she wondered why the werewolf hadn’t shattered the door yet.

*****

OzWolf looked with lustful intent at the door.  One more time and it would break down, then he’d have his mate, and mate with her - right after he’d tear all these rivals apart of course.  He growled and charged, four feet giving him amazing speed.

A blur charged into the werewolf from the side and the two tumbled onward across the grass, the driveway, then the grass in front of the next house.  Oz growled in fury at the interruption, and quickly placed himself in a dominant position to the somewhat familiar looking brunette girl.  He didn’t care though, his mate was waiting, even now her scent was intoxicating him - scared, sweet, he’d protect her from the rivals than make her his.  Thus he bit down at the girl’s neck.

Lexa snapped her hands up, still moaning with the pain of what Ryoga had done to her aggravated by the crash into the werewolf and the tumble afterwards.  She managed to grab Oz’s head and neck, before he could close his teeth around her neck and kill her.  His mouth was still open, showing two rows of razor sharp teeth.  He growled in angry frustration, and a drop of drool fell down, landing on Lexa’s right cheek.  “Oh, Buffy better survive this,” Lexa hissed straining to keep the wolf with his better leverage off of her, “because I’m going to kill her for it.”

With a grunt she yanked Oz left, but the wolf quickly reasserted his position.  He growled harder and put more power behind reaching Lexa’s neck.  “Ugh, sorry about this, Oz, but you’ll thank me later,” Lexa said, and pulled back her right hand quickly and rammed her fist upward into the wolf’s head.  Oz yelped at the force of the blow, and went with backing off just a bit.  That bit was enough for Lexa to pull her feet under him, and kick him off.  She quickly got up, groaning at the pain that came from every part of her body, and watched as Oz finished two good tumbles.  The wolf righted itself and charged the offending female, and Lexa charged the offending wolf.  At the last moment Lexa flung herself to her left.  The jumping Oz missed, and Lexa slammed her fists in a double handed blow with all she had in the back of Oz’s neck.  Oz yelped as he crashed down powerfully, tumbled and stayed still.

“Phew,” Lexa muttered as the unconscious Oz started turning back to himself - back to a naked self.  Lexa didn’t care, she just sat down, and hope someone called an ambulance for her, because there was no way she was going to walk.

*****

Buffy reached a window, and looked out of it.  There were more people there, but they didn’t seem to notice her.  She looked behind her where the mob was coming, barely five meters left from her, some armed with deadly weapons.  With the decision made for her, she opened the window and quickly jumped down, landing smoothly behind the people.  They noticed of course, but Buffy looked up, seeing her mother lean out, and obviously pressed under the pressure of the others.  “Mom,” Buffy said softly with deep concern, hoping the love-crazed fools would turn around and go back down the stairs instead of jumping out after her, or tossing there mom out, or crushing her so hard she’d be injured.  She hesitated, looking up, willing her mother not to be hurt with.  Thus she forgot the charging people downstairs, who were just about to reach her.

Buffy’s eyes then widened as she felt energy like static electricity blast past her.  She watched with wide eyes how the throng of people were pushed back, blown back, falling backward.  A moment later Deo walked past her, looking dangerously at the mom.  “You think you can take me?” Deo asked, releasing another wave of chi, keeping the people back somewhat for now.

Buffy took a fearful step back as Deo turned around to face her, and smiled sexily.  There was no way in any level of hell she could defeat her.  “Heh, heh, heh, hi,” Buffy muttered, backing up, stealing a look of stairs and felt relief as her mother and thus the others were no longer at the window.

“Hi, Buffy, let me whisk you away from these fools so we can enjoy each other’s company,” Deo said suggestively.

“Uh, well, I don’t suppose you would have a moral problem with murder and rape, do you?” Buffy asked terrified.

“Hmm,” Deo said, thinking about it.  “I know I should, but strangely, not really.”

*****

“Ready?” Giles asked Amy, as they finished the preparations, having set up a beaker with frothy stuff, candles and a pentagram.

“Yeah, should I turn Lotion back first?” Amy asked the watcher.

“No, I don’t think we want a magically induced love-crazed woman with the power to tear us limb from limb walking around,” Giles answered her quickly.  “Let’s remove the crazy love first, and then turn her back.  And then Buffy and my love can blossom.”

“My love,” Amy corrected, making the two glare at each other.

“Let us just complete this spell, shall we?” Giles suggested quickly going to the beaker. Amy nodded.

Then as Giles started circling the brush over the beaker, they both chanted, “Goddess Diana, goddess of the love and hunt, we, thy humble servants, ask thee to take your great power away.  Let love once more run its natural course, no longer shall we need your help. Goddess Diana, hear us, favor us, depart!”  During the chant green energy started circling around the pot with every greater power and effects.  Finally after the last word it blasted outward, and Giles and Amy wavered for a moment.

They blinked, and looked at each other.  “My goodness, I was a royal prick, indeed,” Giles said with some shock over his behavior under the spell.

“Yes, well, I wasn’t exactly a nice girl, either,” Amy said embarrassedly.  She then turned to the LotionRat, and said, “Speaking of not having been a nice girl.”  She lifted her hands and said, “Goddess Hecate, work thy will, let the clean one stand once more!”  A white blast of energy came from her hands and hit the tied up rat.

The effect was instant, with energy swirling around her she grew rapidly, the clothes and ropes tore and snapped.  The fur receded and a moment later a naked Lotion sat on the counter.  Amy and Giles looked at her for a moment as she herself inspected her returned body, and then the Brit quickly turned away.  “Yes, well, I apologize for-” he started.

“Oh, shut up,” Lotion said jumping off the counter and regarding Amy for a moment.  “I should kill you,” Lotion said angrily, “but I think my future husband would frown on that.”

“I’m sorry,” Amy said quickly, taking a step back toward the exit just in case.

“Ah,” Giles said, drawing their attention to him, “I believe Buffy left some spare clothes of hers in my office; I doubt they’d be comfortable, but they might just be big enough they cover you up, somewhat and don’t tear apart.”  Lotion sighed and casually walked around the counter to get to the office.

*****

Buffy bumped with her back against the tree in the backyard.  Deo stopped in front of her, smiling.  “So beautiful,” she said, as behind her the mob started to regain their courage as their numbers swelled with the people from inside.

Suddenly there was something almost undetectable in the air, and everyone that Buffy could see wavered for a few moments, then looked confused.  “My,” Deo said looking around as the mob started to quickly disperse, looking confused and apparently deciding to forget what had happened, “what a trip.”

“You no longer think I’m beautiful?” Buffy asked the woman hopefully, but rather uselessly.

“Not particularly, no,” Deo answered somewhat forcibly, apparently not happy with the event.

“Mom!” Buffy called as the thread of Deo doing . . . stuff to her was gone.  She quickly ran into the house and saw the last of the mob going out the door.  Joyce looked somewhat dazed around, while Willow, Cordelia and Jenny joined around her.  Joyce looked over to Buffy and the Slayer quickly ran over relieved.  She grabbed her mother around the neck and hugged tightly.

“Slayer strength, honey!” Joyce gurgled out, and Buffy quickly let go.

“What happened?” Cordelia asked suspiciously, narrowing her eyes at Buffy.

Joyce seemed to agree with the cheerleader, because she looked sternly at Buffy.  When Buffy didn’t answer right away, she demanded, “Buffy.”

“I’m sorry!” Buffy exclaimed loudly then, with large eyes.  “It was me.  I just wanted to get rid of Xander’s ick.  The spell and Xander’s curse didn’t agree with each other.  I’m so sorry!  Please, please, please forgive me!  Pleeeaase!”

“You cast a love spell on Xander!?” Jenny exclaimed in horror.

“Technically, I didn’t,” Buffy said sheepishly, looking down at the floor embarrassedly.

“What’s that supposed to mean!?” Willow exclaimed, raising her arms in exasperation.

Buffy muttered her answer.  At which point Joyce request, “What!?”

Buffy answered again, this time louder, “I blackmailed Amy into doing it for me.  She’s a witch, and I caught her using magic to get an extension on some research paper.  I threatened to have you two bind her powers.”

“Oh, my god!” Willow exclaimed shocked.  “Buffy, casting a love spell, is . . . is . . . very, very bad!”

“*Buffy!*” Joyce took over resolutely, “You ever even go /near/ magic again, and I will guarantee you, I will throw you out of the house!”

“No problem!  Uh, uh!  No magic for this girl, not ever again, no sirree, Bob!” Buffy exclaimed happily.  Then she frowned and added, “Well, unless Willow, Jenny and Giles say it’s the only to keep the Earth from ending.”

Joyce frowned at her, gauging Buffy’s sincerity, then shuddered as she remembered again what she’d almost done.  “I never want to feel that again, ugh.  Now, Buffy, you will go to your room to think about what you did, while I think of an appropriate punishment.”

“You tell her, Mrs. Summers,” Cordelia butted in happily.  “She’s nothing but trouble.” Jenny and Willow turned to look at her.  “What!?” Cordelia asked them annoyed.  “She made me kiss, her I think I’m entitled to some payback.”  Willow and Jenny looked at each other and shrugged, Cordelia had a point.

“Hi, guys, glad to see you’re all back to normal.”

They turned around to see a heavily beaten Lexa being supported by a naked Oz.  “Now, could someone please call me an ambulance?” Lexa asked them with a whimper.

Joyce wanted to cover Buffy’s eyes, but the Slayer was already running to the girl, crying, “Oh, my god!  Xander!”

Willow did the same a moment later, and Cordelia just stayed staring at Oz’s naked physique, then quickly getting ticked off other women could see him like that as well.  She went over with a scowl.  That left Jenny and Joyce to attempt to be modest and look away, while Buffy picked up the phone.

“Ryoga might need one too, I head to hit him with his own umbrella a few times,” Lexa said with a weak smile.

*****

The next day Lexa walked with a little difficulty into the school.  Buffy at her side.  She had gotten lucky - she was hurt, but nothing was broken.  So a week to two weeks of healing the doctor had said, would do the trick.  Lexa was determined to shorten that to a few days using her chi exercises.

“So, how bad is it?” Buffy asked her weakly, still shook up from the ordeal.

“You’ve had Giles’ lecture yet?” Lexa asked her.

Buffy nodded, shivering as she remembered his anger, and his disappointment in her.  “I’m just glad he didn’t bring out the cane after all,” Buffy whispered, never having felt more miserable then during Giles rant, not even her mother the day before grounding her for two weeks at the end had managed to cut so emotionally deeply as Giles.

“Well, I think Jenny is busy forgiving you, as is Willow understanding how you felt and all, besides, what are best friends for?” Lexa said to Buffy with a smile.

“I apologized, and apologized, to all of them, but I guess I deserve it,” Buffy replied, and looked down.

Lexa slung her right arm around the Slayer’s shoulders and continued, “I’ve managed to convince Lotion not to kick your ass all over the continent.”  Buffy looked up pained.  Lexa smiled and said, “She’ll come around soon enough.  Cordelia . . . well, she’s Cordelia.”  It brought a weak smile to Buffy’s face, but it was progress.  “Oz though . . . you made him wolf out, Buff.  He almost killed people, me included.  That’s going to be several weeks, possibly months of groveling.”

Buffy looked down again, and muttered, “I’m sorry.  What about Amy?”

“I don’t think she’s Scooby material, Buffy, but Jenny said she would take her under her wing to at least instill the basics and the morals of magic in her - make sure she’d never do that again, blackmail or no blackmail,” Lexa told her, as they reached their lockers and turned to them.

“I’m sorry,” Buffy said again, pained.

~~~~~27~~~~

“Say it!” Buffy desperately demanded, close to crying in the darkness of the school.  Only some moonlight made the school not quite completely dark.

“You need to hear it?” Xander asked her, standing across from her, a tear flowing down his cheek.  “Okay, I don’t.”  Xander slowly turned to leave.

“No!” Buffy exclaimed desperately, tears flowing down her cheek.  “A person doesn’t just wake up one day, and stop loving someone!”  From somewhere out of her leather jacket she produced six-shot gun, saying, “Love is forever!”

“Oh, my god,” Xander said with wide-eyed shock.

“I know how to use it!” Buffy warned him, but in his panic Xander turned around and started running through a few doors out on an outside walkway.  They were on the second floor, and the way down to the courtyard was long.  Buffy was running after him, and cried, “Stop!  Don’t make me use it, */bitch/*!”

Xander stopped in shock and slowly turned around and regarded the tears on Buffy’s face. She stood just at the double doors, the gun pointing at him.  “Okay, let’s calm down.  You give me the gun, and then we can talk-”

“STOP IT!” Buffy screamed hysterically.  “Stop talking to me like I’m some stupid kid!”

BANG!

Right as Buffy finished the last word, she accidentally pulled the trigger.  Xander’s reflexes kicked in with unnatural speed, making him look surprised.  His upper body jerked to his right, and then a powerful and sharp pain blossomed in his left shoulder.  “Aah!” he yelled, his right hand grabbing the wound reflexively, as he continued twisting around, making Buffy look with shocked pain at the even.  With another reflex Xander removed his right hand from his shoulder and grabbed the railing keeping him from falling over.  He winced as another sharp pain tore through his shoulder when he put pressure on it.  “What the . . .!?” he grunted painfully, straightening up and grabbing his shoulder.  He looked up, confused, seeing a stunned Buffy standing there pointing a gun at him.  “Buffy!?  You sh-”  Xander wavered, wobbled for a moment and put a clear gaze on Buffy.

“Grace?” Buffy/James asked him in both shock and confusion, but fear more so: did he hit Grace somewhere vital?  Didn’t he always do that?  She’s alive.

“I’m here, James,” Xander/Grace said holding out a hand to James’ gun hand shaking about.  Xander/Grace smiled and close her hand around a gun, and gently took it, “I forgive you.”

“I killed you, I’m so sorry,” Buffy/James sobbed, shrinking down.

Xander/Grace took her in a hug, and said, “I’m the one who should be sorry.  I made you feel like I didn’t love you anymore.  I do, I still do.”  Buffy/James looked up into Xander/Grace’s face, and the latter dipped down.  They kissed, deeply, passionately, but mostly lovingly. Buffy/James barely noticed the surprising feel of a girl beneath the illusion covering her up; it was really only better for him.  Light emerged around them, bluish and it swirled upward to a suddenly opening white star of light.  Then two denser formations of light emerged from the both of them: one blue, one orange.  Slowly they circled around each other, and up into the light.

Buffy and Xander were still kissing, gently, two sets of girl lips to each other, one covered by the illusion of a guy - and then they abruptly broke apart at a cry from Xander. “AAARGH!” he yelled staggering back, grabbing his bullet wound.

“Xander!” Buffy said in concern.  Their kiss quickly forgotten she came over to his shoulder, holding his arm steady.  “Oh, my god,” she muttered, the memories of James fresh in her mind.

“Buffy!” Xander yelled, making Buffy flinch back and look up at him.  “YOU SHOT ME!!!” Xander screamed.

“I’m sorry, Xan!” Buffy whimpered.

“I can’t believe you /shot/ me!” Xander shouted angrily, wincing and holding his shoulder tighter.

“Well, I was under control of James, a-” Buffy apologized.

Xander interrupted her, “Didn’t stop me from getting out of the way, did it!?  You remember the anti mind control techniques Deo taught us, don’t you!?”

Buffy whimpered, and looked down in embarrassment, blushing.  “I can’t believe you /shot/ me!” Xander yelled again, pissed off.  “Do you hate me that much!?”

“No, no, it was James and . . .” Buffy looked down again at Xander’s continuing glare.

“Don’t just /stand/ there!” Xander yelled at her, looking up.  “Call an ambulance, they need to take the damn bullet out!”

“O-okay!” Buffy said quickly, then turned around and ran as the rest of the Scooby Gang, Lotion up front, came around the corner.

“Xander!” Lotion called out in fear at him clutching his shoulder, then glared at Buffy.

“You’re still alive!” Willow yelled with enthusiasm as Oz, Cordelia and Giles stayed absent a bit.  Willow wrapped herself around Buffy first, and then around Xander without thinking, making him yell out in pain.  “Sorry!” Willow squeaked and then looked at the bullet wound.  “Huh?  Weren’t you supposed to shoot Buffy?”

“No, Buffy hates me, that’s why she let James shoot me,” Xander called out and glared at the uncertain Buffy.  “You /shot/ me, Buffy!  And get the damn ambulance!”  Buffy whimpered and ran off to find the nearest phone.

*****

Lexa lay on the stretcher, slowly being wheeled to the ambulance.  The Scooby Gang was around her, Buffy a bit further away then the others, horribly embarrassed, blushing furiously.

Lexa grumbled once and then said again for good measure, “I still can’t believe you fucking /shot/ me, Buffy!”

“Ah, yeah, well . . . I didn’t mean too,” Buffy answered turning her head away quickly making everyone frown, and her blush even deeper if that was possible.

“You fucking shot me!” Lexa yelled angrily again as the two medical technicians looked at each other and decided not to say anything.

“Lexa!” Willow said in shock.  “Watch your language!  You don’t curse.”

Lexa turned her head the other way to look incredulously at her best friend since kindergarten, and said gently, “Willow.”  Willow turned her head slightly walking next to the stretcher to pay extra attention.  “SHE FUCKING SHOT ME!!”  Willow flinched back, smiling nervously, as Lexa continued, “If I’m not supposed to swear now, exactly when - god, damn it - am I!?”

Giles was furiously pinching his nose to try to alleviate his frustration.  Lotion had done nothing but fawn over Xander till the paramedics arrived while he had grumbled angrily; they were all getting on his nerves.  “Willow, I must concur with Lexa.  However deplorable resorting to cursing is, this does seem like one of the rare times it is appropriate.”

“A man needs his curses,” Oz stated coolly, making his girlfriend squeeze their casual one-handed embrace tighter in appreciation.  Willow pouted as two people agreed with Xander against her.  The paramedics didn’t notice Oz referring to Lexa as a ‘he’, or just decided to ignore it.  They reached the ambulance and Lexa was quickly put inside.  Buffy and Willow both surged forward to get in the ambulance with her.

“Family?” one paramedic asked, halting the two women for a bit.

Buffy snorted folding her hands over her chest and gave the man her patented Slayer-death-glare, “His dad is a drunk and in jail for selling him to the Chinese mob.  His mother is barely better.  If anyone of his family were here he wouldn’t have want them with him.”

The paramedic, blinked and the cleared the way, saying, “Okay then.”

Buffy and Willow were in the back of the ambulance in no time, and waved goodbye to the other Scoobies.  Willow said, “We’ll see you at the hospital, hurry up!”

A little later the ambulance drove off with great speed.

*****

Buffy and Willow watched from their positions at Xander’s head as the medical technician fussed over Lexa, starting with giving her a local anesthetic in her shoulder.  Willow’s lip quivered.  As the shock of Lexa shot wore off and the full concept of how close her lover and best friend had come to death entered her mind, she became upset very quickly.  She turned to Buffy, and said, “How could you have shot, Lexa!?”

“I was possessed!” Buffy protested, unable to get the guilty look out of her eyes.

“Lexa kept himself from getting killed, didn’t she!?” Willow shrieked at Buffy.  The medical technician’s eyes fluttered over to the girls who were talking nonsense, and quickly ignored them, in favor of his patient.  Latching on to what Lexa had said earlier, Willow asked, “Do you hate Lexa that much!?”

“I do not hate, Lexa!” Buffy returned heatedly, loud enough for Lexa to turn her head and take the battling girls in; who seemed to be about ready to turn it into a cat fight.  Buffy turned her eyes down with guilt, and muttered, “Okay, I may resent him just a-”

“That does it!” Willow shrieked and surged forward, grabbing Buffy’s hair with her right hand, and Buffy’s left breast with her left.  She squeezed Buffy’s breast painfully hard, while yanking her by the hear, screeching, “You hussy!”

Buffy quickly returned the favor out of pure instinct, yanking Willow’s top which ripped partially down the middle, increasing the cleavage.  Red hair was pulled at the same time, as Buffy accused back, “Bitch!”

“Slut!” Willow called back, readjusting her grip on Buffy’s chest, making her top make an equally ripping sound, yanking Buffy’s hair again.  By this time both Lexa and the medical technician was looking at the two in surprise, neither having the mind to stop the girls.

“Shrew!” Buffy accused, yanking the red hair harder, getting a painful yelp out of Willow.

Buffy let out an equally painful grunt as Willow increased her strength as well, pulling Buffy partially off her seat, and yelled, “Corpse-loving skank!”

“Vagrant witch!” Buffy cried back, tears now freely pouring down her face.  “I don’t hate, Lexa, you stupid cow!  I hate myself!”  Instantly Willow’s strength left her, and looked into Buffy’s teary eyes.  “I hate myself,” Buffy said in a low voice, breaking down.  “Just one stupid moment; one decision where I let my stupid curiosity get the better of my common sense, and I . . . I . . .   See?  I can’t say it either!  I disgust myself.  I deserve Xander’s ick.  I . . . I don’t deserve to be forgiven.  Why did Grace forgive James?  I-I d-don’t understand.  I-It’s why I couldn’t b-break free . . . he deserved t-to go through every ex-ex horrible moment of his own personal hell over and over; I didn’t . . .”  Buffy sniffed, and looked defeated down to her hands, before continuing, “I didn’t want to.  I wanted to give him what I deserved.”

“Oh, Buffy,” Willow whimpered and then enveloped her into a crushing hug.  “I’m sorry I yelled at you, and pulled your hair, and ripped your clothes, and pinched your breasts; I forgive you.”  The two girls hung sobbingly into each other’s embrace.

Lexa and the male nurse shared an incredulous look, and Lexa then turned back to the Slayer and the Witch, “HELLO!  We’re in an ambulance here, and I’m the one with a gunshot wound!”

The two girls peeked down at Lexa over their arms, looked at each other for a moment, and then sank their upper bodies down, giving Lexa a loose double hug, careful about her shoulder.  “Okay,” Lexa said sharply, then deflated, “okay, this is better.”

*****

The Scooby Gang was sitting in the waiting area of the hospital, all in varying degrees of worry.  Willow paced back and forth in deep concern.  Lotion was following the witch with her head for some reason.  Her head moving left, then her head moving right, and then left again.  She had a scowl on her face which darkened by the moment.  Finally she couldn’t take it anymore, and told the witch, “Will you quit that!?  Lexa is tough, she’ll survive a little bullet through the shoulder!”

Willow turned to regard the Amazon, giving her a huge glare.  “Actually,” Giles said calmly.  “Unless the bullet hit an artery and it takes an extreme amount of time to get to a hospital; everyone will survive a bullet into the shoulder - neither happened with Lexa, we got here quick, and there wasn’t a fountain of blood.”

“See!” Lotion said, pointing at Giles.

Giles thought over his words, and said, “Unless you’re allergic to the aesthetic and the doctors don’t know; you’ll die of the drugs.”  Everyone looked at Giles with extremely worried expressions.  Giles finally noticed and said, “Ah, I’m sure that’s not the case with Lexa, it’s very rare.”

“Giles!” Buffy shrieked.  “Don’t say those things.”

“Yes, I will endeavor to keep such observations to myself from now on,” Giles said sagely, and relaxed a bit.

“I’ll pace if I want to pace,” Willow told Lotion, and continued to do just that, making Lotion groan and settle back in the uncomfortable plastic chair, contemplating if she should beat Willow up.

A little later, much to everyone’s relief for many different reasons, Lexa was wheeled out in a wheelchair.  On her shoulder was now a nice thick bandage over her stitches.  The nurse that wheeled her in was hot; raven black hair, and a lovely nurse’s uniform - obviously.  She was made up and smiled down at Lexa, who was smiling up at her and her breasts: her head back in her neck.  The nurse giggled, and then Lexa got up.  “Thanks,” she said with a smile.

“Not a problem,” she said with a smile, winked, and slowly turned around.  As she walked back, pushing the empty wheelchair in front of her, she swayed her ass, which Lexa admired for a moment.

Lexa then turned to her stunned friends, and pointing her thumb back at the retreating nurse, said softly with a grin, “Lesbian!”

“XANDER HARRIS!” Willow suddenly shrieked and rapidly came over to him.  “I cannot believe you!  Here we are all worried, and you take your sweet time flirting with nurses!”

Lexa gave her a wounded puppy dog look, then grinned, and said, “You saw her.  You’d have flirted with her too.”

“We’re all examining you!  We don’t have time for nurses!” Willow accused him.

Lexa’s grinned deepened and said, “Ah, shucks, Will.  I knew I was hot, but that I’m /that/ hot.”

The Scoobies stayed silent, looking at the train wreck about to happen.  Willow’s face grew redder and redder with anger, glaring at Lexa . . . then she suddenly surged forward and wrapped Lexa in a hug, pushing her head just above Lexa’s breasts.  “You’re okay!  I’m so glad you’re okay!” she whimpered, making everyone sigh in relief that Willow wouldn’t tear the hospital apart in her anger.

A moment later a blonde blur attached herself to Lexa, hugging her along with Willow. Lexa made a grunt and wrapped her arms around her two best friends.  Giles came over, looking mildly miffed at the sight of his charges making such unseemly shows of public affection, and said in is characteristic stiff British upper lip, “It is good to see you are fine, Lexa.”  Jenny wrapped one arm around his waist and smiled and nodded in agreement.

“Yeah, ‘cause now we get to go to school again tomorrow!” Cordelia said with a big grin.  “Wait!  Why is this good again?” she added, and Lexa had the actual audacity to chuckle, making the cheerleader glower; but anyone who really knew her could see the shiny stars of happiness in her eyes.

“Good to have you still around, man,” Oz spoke in his usual unflappable manner, but obviously relieved.

Lotion finally came up to Willow and Buffy and yanked them with one movement of both her arms off of Lexa and then wrapped herself around her.  Two sets of breasts pressed close together, and Lexa wrapped her hands happily around the buxom Amazon’s waist.  Suffice it to say; any male apart from Giles in view of the two was staring.  “Guns are evil - no finesse, no skill, only losers wield them - but my great warrior future husband can handle them,” Lotion said with a big grin, squeezing harder.

“Ugh, do watch out for the wound, Lotion,” Lexa said with a smile while Buffy and Willow glowered at Lotion for being manhandled by her.

“Sorry, just want my future husband to know I appreciate him,” Lotion said with a smile.

“Hmm, not that I don’t appreciate this; but how about we get out of here?” Lexa asked the others, and they complied eagerly, not liking the hospital.

*****

All of them had escorted Lexa back to her apartment, much to her annoyance.  A little bullet hole that was completely numb by local anesthetic wouldn’t suddenly turn her into a cripple! She could still fight her way through several vamps and demons, no problem.  But of course, they wouldn’t listen, and so they were now standing in front of her apartment building - all of them.

“See, I’m here, safe and sound; can we all get off the overreacting horse now?” Lexa asked them all with some annoyance, but she was still smiling.

“Ah, yes, well, I suppose we should be getting the others home safe and sound,” Giles answered, and Lexa nodded.

Hugging and goodbyes were exchanged one by one, until it was Buffy’s turn, and she asked, “Lexa, could I talk to you in private for a bit - and no, this is not overreacting escorting you to your apartment door.”

“Uh, sure,” Lexa said, and then gave the others another, more general, goodbye.  They waved back and started dispersing, as Lexa led Buffy inside.

A bit later they had entered her apartment and Lexa asked Buffy, “Do you want something to drink?”

“No, not really,” Buffy said as she walked over to the living area of Lexa’s apartment, sitting down in the leather couch facing the kitchen.  Lexa went to set next to her, to her right.

“Okay, so what gives, Buffy?” Lexa asked the other girl.

“I’m sorry,” she answered her best male friend’s female version, and then a flood came from her mouth with such speed, Willow would have had trouble keeping up, “I’m sorry that I was so stupid, sorry that I let a quick bit of passion, desire and curiosity overcome common sense.  I’m sorry I did it again and resorted to magic to get you back.  I’m sorry I couldn’t stop myself today, sorry I got so caught up in my hatred and disgust for myself and James.  I’m sorry.”

Lexa grabbed Buffy’s hands and pulled her to herself, and enveloped her in a hug.  She felt Buffy hug her back fiercely, apparently not wanting to let her go.  Being quite strong herself these days, she could handle Buffy’s strength, but not indefinitely.  Going over Buffy’s words to think of the best way to handle this, she squeezed back with her own strength until she heard Buffy let out a little grunt and she eased up a bit.  “It’s okay, Buff,” Lexa whispered gently, making the blonde look up.  “You’re forgiven; I’ve forgiven you a long time ago. Forgiving you isn’t as easy as getting rid of a queasy sensation though; but look, I’m holding you completely like this, couldn’t do it so fully back then, not without Willow present at least.”

Buffy added a dazzling smile to her hopeful look, making her look amazing.  Lexa planted a quick kiss on her forehead, and then continued, “Besides, you were a teenager; us teenagers are often ruled by our hormones, doesn’t make you evil.  And you know what?  I’m not any smarter in that stuff than you are.  If I were, I’d have swept you off your feet last year already.”

Buffy felt her smile grow warmer, just before she gave non-committal grunt, and said a bit morose, “Oh, I think I got you licked in the hormonal stupidity, Xan.  Think about it; I couldn’t choose between the living, human guy that had three girls chasing him and a demon-animated /corpse/.”  Buffy shivered for a moment at the concept of having slept with that, before continuing, “A vampire cursed with a soul, whose curse I never investigated.  An immortal vampire that came to me hiding in shadows, watching me and my friends risk our lives and flashing our hot bodies at him, harrowing me to do more vampire dusting, while when I ask him for help he’s all; ‘Are you nuts?  I’m not suicidal!’”  Buffy blinked as she finished her rant at herself, which turned out to be out Angel as well, and some things her hormones had made her forget about him resurfaced.  She suddenly blanched, and said in horror, “Ack!  God, I was stupid!  Lexa, promise me, if I ever start making moon eyes at a demonic thing again, or at some smooth talking mysterious coward dropping cryptics from the shadows giving me gifts; beat the crap out of me!”

“Sure, Buffy, hereby solemnly promised,” Lexa told her friend, and then asked with a straight face, only a twinkle in her eyes betraying her true feelings, “Should I go for getting you back to your senses, or kill you.”

Buffy blinked, thought pensively for a moment, and then said, “Senses, but if that doesn’t work, kill me, please, send me to the great beyond.”

“You got it,” Lexa answered and they looked into each other’s eyes.  Suddenly they both burst into giggles, laughing until their stomachs hurt while holding onto each other.  “Oh, god,” Lexa managed between giggle fits, “I’m such a girl.”

“Yep,” Buffy said and snuggled up to old, newfound female friend.  Her head rested on Lexa’s shoulder and upper left breast, while sniffling occasionally still. *Hmm, this doesn’t feel so bad,* Buffy thought, and then blanched, screwing her eyes shot, *What the hell does that mean!?*

*****

Willow looked up with large eyes of shock, incomprehension, and worry.  Next to her stood Lotion who looked up with sparkling eyes.  On Willow’s other side was Buffy who looked up with somewhat of a combination of the other two.  They were in the forest on the mountain that framed Sunnydale’s north side.  Some old branches was lying on the dirt, as well as some plants here and there between the trees.  “Lexa, please, you can’t do this, you’re not even fully healed from the gunshot yet!?” Willow called upward, once again, trying futilely to talk her best friend since kindergarten out of it.

Said friend, one super hot girl, was tied to tree a meter upward.  “Hit it, Ryoga!” she called out with dogged determination.

“Ryoga!  You can’t!  Don’t do it!” Willow pleaded with the eternal lost boy, hoping to put some sense in the other guy.  Said guy was standing on a tree branch a few ways off, holding a boulder about half Lexa’s height in his hands.  A rope was tied like a net around it, and connected to a thick solid branch about halfway between Ryoga and Lexa.  “He’ll get hurt! Badly!  He isn’t even healed yet!”

Ryoga let go.  “NO!” Willow said in shock as she saw the massive boulder swing across the arc . . . straight for Lexa.

“YAH!” Lexa yelled, bringing her right hand and only free thing of her forward.  Her index finger stretched out, attempting to peer into the rock to find it’s mythical weak center. With a solid, muffled crash the boulder crushed Lexa to the tree.  Willow felt like she was holding her heart protectively with her hands, and then came, “OW!  That hurts!”

“OF COURSE IT HURTS, YOU INSANE LOON!” Willow shrieked out with worry. “YOU GOT CRUSHED BY A BOULDER!!”  Ryoga was already pulling a rope, reeling the boulder back to him.  Willow continued ranting, “AND I CAN PUT YOU BACK TOGETHER AGAIN!  JUST LIKE WITH THE STUPID FIRE!”

“Future husband is one amazing warrior,” Lotion said with a proud, in-love smile.

“DON’T YOU ENCOURAGE HIM, YOU BITCH!” Willow shrieked at Lotion with worry.

Lotion turned her head to Willow with a scowl.  “Again!” Lexa told Ryoga, despite the pain in her body, determined.

“NO!” Willow shrieked but the boulder was already on his way.  Lexa tried to smash her finger through the boulder’s weak spot once again . . . and predictably failed.

“AAGH!” she yelled as the boulder crushed her with characteristic mercilessness.  Ryoga grinned as he pulled the boulder back again, liking the fact that he was getting some sort of payback after all.

Willow then turned to Buffy, and yelled, “Why aren’t you saying anything!?  That’s your best friend up there getting crushed by a giant rock!”

Buffy looked at Willow and said, “Well, I feel bad, but . . . well . . . uhm . . . she wants it and it doesn’t seem to be killing him.”  When she looked into Willow’s steaming face she took a nervous step back and muttered, “I’ll help with the bandaging?”

Willow shrieked, mumbled something and Buffy flew back till she landed against a tree somewhat painful and stayed there - pinned a meter and a half above the ground.  “Huh?” she muttered, looking around.  

“Go!” Willow’s attention was back to the horror in front of her eyes, as the large rock once gain swung without care to crush her best friend.

Lexa yelled out in pain once again, failing the weak spot once more.  “Will,” Buffy whined flailing her arms and legs to find someway of getting down.  “Let me down from here.”

“No, you stay put, you . . . you slutty nincompoop!” Willow told the Slayer angrily, who sighed and gave up on getting free; although she was pretty certain she could - she /was/ the Slayer after all.  It was probably better to let Willow deal with her worry this way than in some . . . less constructive way.

As Ryoga pulled the rock back, Lotion moved her hand through her long hair and said breathlessly, “He’ll be the greatest warrior on the planet and /my/ husband.”

“THAT’S IT!” Willow shrieked and jumped Lotion, clawing and punching at the much more stronger girl.  Lotion shrieked back and returned the favor; for some reason not interest in using her martial arts skill to beat Willow into submission within moments, and so a big hair-pulling, scratching cat fight started.

“Again!” Lotion called out to Ryoga; only having eyes for her training.

As Willow’s concentration broke at a particular vicious pull on her hair from Lotion, Buffy dropped to the ground.  “Oof!  My butt,” she whimpered, already stroking the offended spot.  She looked from a Lexa in new pain, the rock crushing against her, to the catfight, and sighed, “This is going to be one of those days.”

*****

“My god!  What happened to you two!?” Jenny called concerned, putting her work down on the counter in the library, watching as the Scooby Gang entered it.  Lotion and Willow were a mess: hair in disarray, dirt everywhere, some bloody scratching covering both, while their clothes were ripped in some places making their cleavages even bigger than usual.

“Catfight,” Buffy remarked dryly, still in pristine order.  She came in just after her best friend, and had long since lost the interest to be all miffed about the situation.  “Although without the seemingly obligatory lesbian sex afterwards.”

“Buffy,” Giles said aghast, but Buffy gave him a look that made him turn his head guiltily away.  It was obvious that ‘putting down her work’ had been a cover to keep the kids from noticing what the two supposedly adults were really up to; witnessed by the fact Jenny’s ‘work’ was upside down.  After watching one of her best friends be in a good, old-fashioned, and childish catfight, while her other best friends let a rock beat her half-into the hospital for several hours straight, Buffy had /really/ long since lost the ability to be upset, or even annoyed enough to make a comment about the adults’ ‘work’.

Then Lexa came in.  “Oh, my god!” Jenny exclaimed in shock at the bloodied bruised mess, who was smiling broadly.  “That can’t be a catfight!  What happened!?  Demon!?” Jenny gasped out aghast, rooted to the floor at the bruised Lexa.

“Nope, training,” Buffy muttered casually moving around Willow and Lotion and walking casually to a chair.

“Training?” Giles said, shocked himself.  “What kind of bloody training!?”

“The best ever!” Lexa exclaimed happily, then coughed and groaned.  “I already feel stronger!”  Thus making Jenny and Giles look in disbelief at the mess she was.  More grunting and moaning, and she added, “Although I could use a little bandaging probably.”

“Uh, uh!  I’m not doing it!” Willow exclaimed upset as she turned around to face Lexa; except that Lotion was in the way.  “I warned you!  I bandaged you with the fire, but not this! Nope, I warned you!  OUCH!”  The exclaim of pain came just after Lotion slapped Willow hard, the sound of skin against skin reverberating throughout the library.

“Ungrateful, cold-hearted bitch,” Lotion hissed, and turned around, leaving a stunned, but rapidly starting to boil Willow.  “I can’t see what you see in her, future husband,” Lotion said bubbly, and going over to Lexa, taking a gentle hold of her.  “I’ll bandage you up, my great warrior.”  Lexa smiled gratefully.

Buffy rolled her eyes, got up, and yanked Willow back into a chair.  “Hey!” she protested.

“I’ve seen enough girl on girl catfighting for the day,” Buffy remarked dryly, sitting back down into the chair with finality.

“I wasn’t- . . . I wouldn’t . . .” Willow tried to protest, and then deflated, leaving Lotion to maneuver Lexa over to a chair while a concerned Jenny came over with a box of first aid supplied.

*****

Lexa and Ryoga shimmied along the small path between the rows of chairs, in which people were sitting.  A big screen was to the front of the large room.  “You’re gonna love this, Ryoga!  Nothing like taking in a got movie with other people in the cinema,” Lexa said with a grin on her face and several different kinds of snacks in his arms.  “Not to mention drinking and eating tasty snacks.”

“We /do/ have movie theaters in Japan, you know.  As well as chips and candy,” Ryoga said, wondering how he got himself roped into doing this.  It had been three days since Lexa first started her training, and had gone through it another two times by now.  She was still beat up, although makeup hid most of it.

“I’ll bet not as great a one as here though,” Lexa returned with a grin, finally reaching her seat and slowly sitting down in it.

As Ryoga did the same for his seat he said, “Yep, probably ours are bigger; Japan is all about getting the best new techno toys first.”

“But did you ever go to one, Mr. Super Martial Arts Master?” Lexa asked with a little crooked grin - one side of her lips was still somewhat swollen and couldn’t move properly. Ryoga finally had to concede defeat, nodding slightly.  Lexa nodded enthusiastically - this was going great.  “Well then, sit back, and enjoy.”

*****

“That was good,” Ryoga said as the two of them steadily left the cinema.

“Of course - Hollywood never fails to deliver a good ninety minutes of mindless explosions and action,” Lexa said with a grin, swinging her umbrella lightly.  There were many more people in the lobby of the cinema, and the two of them had to make an occasional swerve.  Finally they exited the building, and Lexa added, “Which is a lot of the critique on Hollywood - they don’t seem to be able to produce anything not mindless these days.”  She snickered at Ryoga.

“The fights were pathetic though,” Ryoga said, thinking of the ‘action stars’ fighting.  “I could defeat them all with both my hands tied behind my back.  They can’t even throw a decent punch.”

Lexa nodded in agreement, “No chi, no understanding of true martial arts - all weak.”   Ryoga looked at the boy in girl form, watching her casually flip her umbrella open to guard herself from a spray of warm water.  A car drove by, and Ryoga was forced to the same thing with a spray of cold water that was splashed up from the car, lest he turned into a pig.  “What did you think of the babes though?” Lexa asked him with a grin.

Ryoga raised his eyebrows to go over the film, and said, “The blonde was pretty nice.”

“Oh, yeah, eight out of ten easily, but the Asian was the best, nine point nine,” Lexa said with sparkling eyes.

“None of them as good as Akane, though,” Ryoga said with a smile, taking in a deep breath.

Lexa chuckled and put her hands behind her head, nodding, “As hot as she was, Willow, and Lotion outclass her.  Which is odd, strictly esthetically speaking, a guy would probably think the Asian is better than Willow, but still . . . Willow lately makes me go rawr - and Lotion always did, for obvious reasons.”

The two rounded a corner, slowly heading towards Ryoga’s place of temporary residence. “Ah,” Lexa muttered, lowering her arms again, and turned to look at Ryoga.  “This what I like about you, Ryoga.  We can have some good guy-guy talk.”

“This coming from you,” Ryoga said with a wry face.

Lexa looked down, noticing her breasts encased in her shirt, and chuckled.  She looked around, and then rubbed the ring.  A moment later Xander was walking there - a Xander who didn’t have a scratch on him - and said, “Guy to talk guy.”  He grinned at Ryoga and said, “Don’t get me wrong; love the girls, love to talk with them, especially Willow with her new bi view of things, but . . . she’s still a girl.  They just don’t quite think and talk the way we do. Giles is . . . well, Giles.  Old for one thing - okay, not old, but, adult, you know?  Is more like a father than a friend.”

“What about the werewolf?” Ryoga asked him casually as they steadily walked onward, both keeping eyes out for water action.

“Ah, Oz,” Xander said, nodding steadily.  “Oz isn’t much of a conversationalist.  I’m pretty sure I can talk to him when I need some real important, emergency guy advice or something, but he’s Mister Cool Noncommital One Word Answer Guy.  It just wouldn’t be the same.  With you I can talk, relaxedly, one on one, about lots of stuff.  I’m already not in the mood for when you leave.”

“I won’t leave at least until after you’ve mastered the Bakusai Tenketsu,” Ryoga told him, almost solemnly.  “Which surprises me,” he continued thoughtfully, “I would never do this for that bastard Ranma.  One of these days I will beat that curd into the ground, mark my words.”

“You do realize I consider him a friend, right?” Xander asked a little concerned, but not much.  Ryoga may seem to have a deep hatred for his friend, but there was something about it that didn’t quite ring fully serious.

“That is not your fault.  It’s all that duplicitous, perverted, sickening Ranma’s fault.  I will make him pay for that,” Ryoga answered him, swinging his heavy umbrella about at an imaginary foe; one Saotome Ranma.  Ryoga’s face was crunched up in a grimace, his teeth clenched together.  Xander couldn’t help but smirk; he looked kind of good that way.

*****

It was a week later, and early morning Lexa groaned as she awoke.  She blinked her eyes and looked around her darkened room.  The only light was a small strip where her bedroom door wasn’t quite closed and the sunlight was entering, and the numbers from the digital alarm clock.  The clock was playing the radio to wake her up.  She stretched a bit, arms above her head, and yawned leisurely.  She found a comfortable position and turned off the radio clock. “Hmm,” she muttered.  “Get out, or, get out, or . . . or.”

She moved her hands to her chest, and gently massaged her breasts for a short while. Then she moved her hands slowly down her taught stomach, caressing herself everywhere. “Dang, I’m horny,” she muttered, slipping both hands beneath her pink, lacy g-string. Deciding to draw things out she gently stroked the flesh of her outer lips and her stomach just above it.  Smiling, she tickled her short triangular hairs, having trimmed them.  Finally she gave herself what she was craving, gently stroking her clitoris with her right middle finger.  She shivered and moaned, feeling pleasure move up her spine.  She stretched her legs with a grunt as she felt her inner muscles contract with the pleasure.  Making sure not to go too rough yet, she kept her ministration to her pleasure nub short and teasing, causing small flutters of pleasure the flow through a body.  Moaning she couldn’t take anymore, and slipped two fingers of her left hand inside, her inner walls gripping the welcome intrusion happily.  “Yes,” she muttered, moving her fingers in and out, making sure to stroke the upper flesh for extra stimulation.  She grunted, pushing her fingers in and out in the copious amounts of slick juices that had accumulated there - and suddenly she stopped, eyes wide.

She sat up quickly, and blindly reached for the light button.  Finding it easily the light turned on, and she held up her left hand, clear juices sliding down the two fingers she had had inside of her.  She blinked and opened the fingers, a string of the thin slime stretching between them.  The juice was all but see-through, and much slicker than usual.  “Holy shit,” she muttered and then grinned, “I’m ovulating.  I’m ovulating - I’m fully functional!”  She chuckled to herself, and then after a thought said, “Must be why I’m so horny.”  Then she shrugged and slid back under the covers, hands back down to her pleasure center.

*****

About an hour later Lexa reached school.  She found Willow and Buffy soon after, walking next to each other and talking.  The umbrella she had casually hanging over her shoulder she quickly pushed further back into her backpack so she had two free hands.  “Hey, guys,” Lexa said with a grin, rudely interrupting their conversation, pushing the two apart and pulling them along by hooking her arms around theirs. “Let’s go to the library, I’ve got some news.”  Boys all around took in the girl in sunglasses, super tight leather pants that showed off ever curve of her legs and ass, and a pink top with a deep cleavage.  Somehow, showing off her feminine attributes while she was ovulating for the first time, had seemed proper to Lexa.  Not that she ever not showed off her feminine attributes, but still; ovulation seemed right to debut her leather pants.

“Lexa!” Buffy protested, but was swept along before she or Willow could put in anymore protests.

Soon after they reached the library, and Lexa called, “Giles!”

The British librarian and demon hunter came from his office; alone this time, and he said, “Uh, yes?  Found signs of another apocalypse?  Shall I get out the books?”

“Bigger!” Lexa answered getting amused looks from Willow and Buffy, and horrified look from Giles before he realized bigger might not mean worse.

Lexa looked around and muttered about Jenny and the others, but quickly dismissed it, this was more for his closest two friends alone.  Propelling the two forward to take a seat at the table, while Giles went toward it as well, Lexa positioned herself with her hands on her sides, pushing one side out, finding a powerful, yet feminine and teasing stance.  After a moment of letting Willow and Buffy look ever increasingly expectant at her, she said finally, “I’m ovulating!”

Buffy’s face went wide with a smile, as did Willow’s, who then said, “Really?  You sure!?”

Lexa’s face fell into annoyance, and looking pointedly at the apprentice witch said, “No, Willow, I don’t.  How about I scoop out some of the evidence from within me, and let you with the big brain check it out, so I can be certain?”

As Willow blushed and Buffy giggled at the mental picture, while Giles had removed his glasses and furiously started to clean them.  The Watcher decided to speak up, “Yes, I suppose . . . uhm . . . congratulating you on being fully female and 100% operational so to speak would be a good idea?”

“Yeah!” Buffy said, getting up and hugging her best friend, “This is great, Xan!  Lexa? Whatever!  Congratulations.”  Lexa hugged her back and a moment later a red whirl had attached herself to her as well.

“Congratulations, Xander,” Willow said with a smile.  Lexa chuckled and laughed a bit, before they finally broke away.

Lexa nodded, and said, “So, once ovulation is over, another twelve to sixteen days and I can look forward to cramps as my body gets rid of some excess blood, eh?”

“Don’t forget some jolly PMS just before that!” Buffy said with a big grin, as Giles finally felt comfortable enough to put his glasses back on.  “Did I just say ‘jolly’?” Buffy suddenly asked with a frown.  Willow and Lexa nodded.  “Oh, god!” she said horrified.  “I’m using Giles-speak!  I’ve been spending too much time around him.  Get me out of here!”

The two friends took Buffy and quickly led her out of the library.  Giles said, “‘Giles-speak’ is good, proper, jolly English, and not the hotch-potch you hormonal teenagers turn it into.  And you don’t need to get away from me for that.”  The Scooby Gang had reached the doors to the library though, and exited.  Giles sighed, “Bloody Americans.”

*****

“Over a 150 different symptoms of PMS have been documented.  They range from mental to physical, from mood swings to depressions, to back and joint aches.  They differ from woman to woman, from cycle to cycle,” Lexa read out loud from the computer screen.  The three of them were alone in the computer room, and Willow had turned on the internet connection, looking things up on the menstruation and PMS to further prepare their friend for hell. “Jesus,” Lexa said with wide eyes, “you women don’t know how to make up your minds, do you?”

“It has nothing to do with minds,” Willow protested to Lexa, looking at her, “well, unless the hormones give you mood swings, but . . . you know what I mean!”  She trailed off and shrugged, Lexa’d find out soon enough.

“A hundred and fifty?” Buffy said a little amazed.  “I knew PMS was bad, but it’s even worse than I thought!”  Willow and Lexa looked at her with annoyed looks.  “I’m of the ‘give me your best shot, and I’ll deal with it, don’t bother me with all the possibilities’ type, okay? Only makes me worry, and worrying gives me lines, and stress, and stress gives me more symptoms, and . . .”  Buffy looked at her two friends, who were looking at her with raised eyebrows.  “I’ll shut up now.”

“Now we’ll have to decide if you’re a pad or tampon girl,” Willow said a little enthusiastically.  “Any preference?”

“I don’t know,” Lexa said thoughtfully, then added with a smile, “It’s always good to put something in.”  It earned him two playful elbows, and she chuckled.  “On the other hand, I don’t know how much I’m looking forward to pulling it out.”

“Why?  Because you’re afraid you’ll put it back in, and then out and . . .” Buffy said, and trailed off as she earned her own elbow from Lexa.  “Ow,” she muttered, rubbing her upper arm, but grinning.

“Buffy,” Willow said sternly, then blinked not quite knowing where she was going with this.  Then nodded, and finished, “It’s obvious you’ve been spending too much time with Lotion, Cordelia and Lexa; you’re forbidden to speak with them again, so get out.”

Lexa chuckled, while Buffy looked scornfully at Willow.  “I can make a dirty joke, it’s not a bad influence, it’s just me,” Buffy said with a pout.

“Only if you’re sure,” Willow said sternly, making Lexa giggle out loud.

Buffy turned to Lexa, and said, “Best is to try them both out.  One day tampon, then a pad, and see which you like best for the third and more days.”

“So what do you use?” Lexa asked the blonde.

“Tampon,” Buffy answered, and Lexa looked to Willow.

Willow answered, “Pad.  Don’t like insertion all day.  Wanna keep it for special circumstances, if you know what I mean.”

“Oh, I know,” Lexa replied with a big grin.

*****

“Here it comes!” Ryoga called and threw the rock forward.

It was the same day, late in the afternoon, and Lexa was once again tied to the tree.  She was exhausted, and hurting, but not half as much as that first day.  The rock on ropes came flying forward.  Lexa grimaced - and then she saw it!  She had thought she’d seen it earlier, even Ryoga’s explanation how to see it, and had been wrong, but now . . . there was a surety to her vision.  The light indentation, and her mind supplying the weak lines all intersecting that point.  That was it!  Her index fingers had reached enough strength, that along with the little chi, it should be able to penetrate the hard material - which was quite hard even at it’s breaking point.  With a scream of satisfaction and effort, she slammed her right index finger in the point, and she felt it crush inside.  At the very same time, in an instant the rock cracked along the weak lines, and exploded spectacularly, pelting Lexa with many pieces, but she barely felt them.

“YES!” she screamed.

Ryoga smirked.  He reset his yellow and black bandana, and said, “Let’s see if you’ve finally understood, or if it’s a fluke.”  Ryoga jumped down from the tree and went off looking for another boulder as Lexa nodded in agreement.

He returned a little later, tied it in, and sent it flying.  Lexa simply grinned as she rammed her left index finger in the rock’s breaking point this time, and it exploded a moment later. “Yes!” she called out, and removed her ropes.  She grabbed the umbrella she had standing close by for emergencies and went down to the ground where Ryoga was waiting for her. “Thanks, man,” Lexa - in a tight enough exercise outfit her covers were visible, said breathing a little heavy.

“You did good, I learned it faster, though,” Ryoga said with a smile.

“Of course,” Lexa said with a wry grin, rolling her eyes at him.  She took her temporary sensei in for a bit, and then asked with a sweet smile, “So, Ryoga.  Now that you finished teaching me; when do you leave?  Do you have enough money saved up yet?”

“Just about,” Ryoga answered, as they slowly walked through the forest toward the settled part of Sunnydale again.  “And then I can finally kick that Ranma-bastard’s ass!”   Ryoga punched his hands forward in blinding blur.  “Thanks for teaching me that, by the way,” Ryoga said to Lexa who smiled.

“No problem, you teach me something, I returned the favor,” Lexa said with a dazzling smile, looking at the guy.  “Just don’t kill Ranma, he isn’t that bad, and he’s my friend.  A good asskicking won’t hurt him though.”

“Yes, yes,” Ryoga said non-committally.  “Why did you want to know?”

“Like I said, I like having you around,” Lexa told him, smiling, then stopped.  Ryoga stopped to, puzzled.  She drew a deep breath, bringing in her courage, and then said, “In more ways than one.”

“Huh?” Ryoga asked even more confused.

“Remember the card you got?” Lexa asked him nervously.

“Valentine?  What /is/ that anyway?” Ryoga asked her, thinking things through, staying put.

Lexa looked down for a moment, then back up, and said, “It’s this special day where everyone sends lovers, potential lovers, and the occasional very good friends a card, proclaiming their love - or friendship, sometimes anonymously.”

Ryoga frowned, looking suspiciously at Lexa, and then said, “Exactly how did you know about the card?”

“I sent it,” Lexa blurted out, watching Ryoga’s eyes grow.  “I’m attracted to you,” Lexa confessed, wondering what his reaction was.  At the moment it was nothing, just remaining in that wide-eyed look, and so Lexa decided to continue.  “I’ve got a bit of a crush on you; you’re hot, handsome, sexy, kinda like your attitude,” Lexa said.  There still was no reaction apart from blinking, and deciding to take her chance, Lexa took a step forward, and gently placed a quick, but loving kiss on Ryoga’s lips.  She took a step back, and opened her eyes again.

For only a moment there was no reaction apart from greater shock on Ryoga’s face. Then, staggering back, Ryoga screamed, “AAAAH!!!!  You pervert!  You’re a guy!  YOU KISSED ME!!  AAAARGGH!!”  Then he ran into some random direction, screaming more.

Lexa’s heart broke, and looked down.  “Okay . . . that didn’t go so well,” Lexa muttered to herself, feeling hollow.  After a bit, she turned around and ran the way Ryoga went.   “Ryoga!  Ryoga!” she screamed, trying to catch up, but after a minute she gave up.  She walked defeated onward for a little while, before turning toward Sunnydale.

*****

Lexa knocked on Willow’s bedroom door, which promptly opened.  “Lexa!” she said with a little surprise.  Willow was in a tight pair of jeans and a skimpy top which normally would have Lexa’s blood boiling, but not today.

“Your mom let me in,” Lexa said weakly, forcing a smile.  It was testament to her having mastered the technique, that Willow wasn’t all fussing over any wounds; they were now minor instead of major.

“Xan!  What’s wrong!?” Willow called instantly, pulling Lexa inside, not once failing to see her best friend in a funk, even if he was a girl.  She closed the door behind her, and pulled him a little further into the room.  The room was pinkish hued, with whitish rooms.  Right from the door was Willow’s bed, with her head side against the wall of the room.  Beyond her bed was a wall closet with her clothes, which was open at the moment.  The closet was clearly divided in two; one side with her newer sexier clothes, some outrageously sexy, while the other side was her old clothes - which now did duty as bad-day clothes, as well as clothes to wear around the house doing stuff that would get her dirty.  Willow maneuvered toward the bed, but still facing Lexa.

Still in her workout clothes, Lexa hesitated for a moment, and then said, “I need some girl talk, Will.”  Willow nodded immediately, and Lexa continued uncertain, “It’s about something you’re probably not going to like.”  She looked pointedly in Willow’s eyes with a vulnerable look.

“Of course,” Willow said with a smile.  Raising her right hand, she said with a smile, “Friend mode to full, lover mode off.”

Lexa smiled brightly and let herself be pulled to the bed.  Willow sat down on it, and got Lexa to sit as well.  The redheaded girl folded her legs sideways underneath her.  Smiling reassuringly, she gestured for Lexa to begin.  “I don’t know if you’ve noticed, Willow, but . . .”  Lexa paused to take a steadying breath, and finished, “I got a crush on Ryoga.”  Lexa saw the flicker of disappointment and dread in Willow’s eyes, but she quickly pushed that away. Lexa realized he was such a lucky guy to have a friend like hers.  It was amazing she was still there for her even if all this was going on.  She was blessed - she needed to come up with a good reward.

“So, you need girl talk because you don’t know how to proceed . . . or because something bad happened?” Willow asked Lexa friendly, smiling reassuringly to her.

“Something bad happened,” Lex answered and looked down, gaining a hug from Willow that made her feel better.

“Go on,” Willow said.

“Okay, so today I decided to make it known, to him I mean,” Lexa explained with a pained look.  “He was rather shocked, and I decided to give him a kiss; which wasn’t such a good idea.  He kinda went nuts.  Screaming I was a perverted guy and ran off.”

“Oh, Xan,” Willow said and quickly hugging Lexa again, more fiercely this time.  “He’s a bastard.  He’s evil.  He shouldn’t have treated you like that.”

“Will,” Lexa said with a light chuckle, “just because I’ve got a crush on someone, doesn’t mean they have to fall drop-dead in love with me.”

Willow smiled, happy that Lexa at least could see the humor in things still.  She told her, “First, it’s a best friend’s duty to her girl friend to vilify the guy.  Second, it got you to smile, didn’t it?”  Lexa nodded, hugging Willow back.  “And finally, I’m right.  He could have said he wasn’t interested, that he didn’t swung that way, or considered a guy turning in a girl too weird for him; but calling you a pervert is just wrong.  Bisexuality and homosexuality isn’t even unnatural, happens with many animals as well, social ones predominantly, especially when the ratio from male to female is very uneven.”  Lexa looked down at Willow.  “Big brain here.”

“Okay, I guess you’re right,” Lexa muttered.

“You guess?” Willow said, breaking the hug and leaning back with offence.  “Have you forgotten who you’re talking to?  That guy memory of yours got scrambled by the curse?  Or did the mob drug it out of you to make you more complacent?”

“You’re absolutely right as usual, Willow,” Lexa stated with a smile and solid conviction.

“That’s better,” Willow replied with a satisfied nod.

“I knew I should never have done it.  Must be the ovulation hormones,” Lexa said a little sullenly.

“Just how much?” Willow asked him, then lowered her eyes.

Lexa looked at her, thinking of how to answer that.  Finally she decided to say, “Enough.”

Willow nodded.  For a moment they stayed sitting, just enjoying each other’s familiar company.  Then Lexa got up, and turned on her Xander illusion.  He looked down at Willow and with his very own male voice, said, “I better go find Ryoga before he freezes to death on the north pole, and have a little talk with him.”

“You’re not going to kill him are you?  ‘Cause, yes he’s prejudiced, but you can’t kill him over it,” Willow asked a little uncertain.

“Not that kind of little talk, Willow,” Xander said, giving her a smile, then with a heartfelt ‘see you tomorrow’ he was out the door.

*****

“RYOGA!” Xander yelled as he sped through the forest.  Where could he be?  He couldn’t have gotten far; with his sense of direction he was probably walking in circles.  He slowed down and checked the ground.  Soon he found a set of confusing tracks; going in multiple directions.  Ryoga!  He’d have gone over the same section from different directions, going in every direction and circling back except the right one - ah, perhaps he did go in the right direction once in a while, but he’d have doubled back.  “RYOGA!” Xander yelled out, while preparing a gamble on which trail to follow.  Finally making a decision, he chose a random trail and ran off.

“RYOGA, WHERE ARE YOU!” Xander called out loud as he ran through the light forest.  “Annoying halfwit,” he muttered to himself without meaning it.  As he ran, following the tracks, he kept yelling for the guy.  Finally after a good while of searching he heard something decidedly not belonging to the forest.  Turning toward the sound Xander ran onward, trees zipping by with his almost unnatural speed.  It didn’t take long before he found an obviously lost Ryoga.

“Ryoga!” Xander said, happy at finding his friend.

“Ack!  Get away from me, you pervert!” Ryoga yelled at him in irritation.

Once again with the insult, and Xander’s face grew a little darker.  “I am /not/ a pervert! I’m bisexual!” Xander exclaimed finding himself analyzing his words as he said them.  He blinked, and shrugged while saying, “Okay, I /am/ a pervert, but which guy isn’t?  Definitely nothing wrong, or disgusting about that, and especially not about me being bisexual for that matter!”

“You kissed me, you bastard!” Ryoga growled and jumped forward, making his umbrella come down in an arc.  Xander bent sideways, making Ryoga miss.  Immediately Ryoga pulled the umbrella right in an a devastating arc.  Xander twisted himself around with a small jump, and blocked Ryoga’s swipe at the wrist by putting his left foot against it.  Bringing his left foot down and then his right foot out in a powerful kick he disarmed Ryoga from his deadly weapon.  The umbrella flew a meter away before landing on the ground with a solid thud and making a deep indentation in the durt.

Ryoga kept his motion to his right up though, bringing his left fist along.  With a solid sound and a blossoming of pain the fist landed on Xander’s chin, making him stagger back. Instead of letting himself flying onward, he redirected his momentum downward, and flipped up and over his hands.  His feet went up catching Ryoga with two kicks in his own chin.

Ryoga staggered as Xander rose back to his feet.  “I am sorry for that!” Xander called half angry and half apologetic.  “You’re a raging heterosexual, and I should have checked first. But I thought - I’m a girl, you’re a heterosexual guy, perfect match.  And I have hormones surging too, which didn’t- . . .”

“RAAH!”  Xander was for too late to stop the devastating punch that landed square on Lexa’s chin underneath his illusion.  He/she was launched off her feet, and flew back several meters till she landed painfully against a tree - but found she could get up relatively easy.  That rock training had seriously helped.

“I’ll never, ever do it again, okay?” Xander groaned from his downed position.  Ryoga stood over him, breathing heavily and still grimacing with anger, but rapidly deflating.  “And I am /not/ bad or disgusting for being bisexual,” Xander felt the need to growl out, looking at the boy in green pants and yellow shirt.  “If you say or imply that again I will seriously hurt you.”

“It’s unnatural,” Ryoga hissed.

“Nope, it isn’t,” Xander said, unable to keep a smile of his face as he thought, *Thank you, Willow.*  He continued, “Happens in lots of animals as well; especially when the male to female ratio is uneven.  It’s genes and hormones, Ryoga, not a degenerative choice.”  Ryoga looked suspiciously at him.  “This comes straight from the smartest person in Sunnydale, if not the world,” Xander added to convince him.

“You should /not/ have kissed me, you asshole,” Ryoga hissed, making a sharp gesture with his right hand, pointing at Xander.

Xander sighed deeply and looked up apologetically, telling his friend, “I know.  I’m sorry.   I should have waited, I should have gotten to know you better first.”  Xander sighed again, and said, “Can we still be friends?  I’m still the same old sparring partner.  I’ll tug whatever feelings I’ve got deep away; shouldn’t be a problem with the other ones-”

“Don’t mention any feelings!  You don’t have any feelings toward me!  Nothing what so ever!” Ryoga called out loud in desperation, shaking his head furiously.

“What feelings?” Xander asked with a smile, then held out his hand.  “Friends?”

Ryoga grumbled but took his hand and pulled him up.  “Fine, friends it is, but nothing more, nothing, you understand?”

“Nothing,” Xander replied solemnly, and Ryoga nodded.  He turned around and started walking.

Xander grabbed him by the arm and pulled him around.  “Sunnydale is this way,” Xander said and pulled him along.

*****

Almost two weeks later

Lexa groaned as she walked onto the school grounds.  The cramp that pulled through her abdomen was most annoying.  She sniffed air in deeply, ignoring it.  “Hey guys,” she said, wearing a pair of jeans and a white blouse.  She still looked sexy, but for Lexa’s standards it was downright drab.

The entire Scooby Gang stood under the tree waiting for her.  It was one thing Lexa didn’t like about her apartment - it was quite far enough away from school she invariably arrived last.  She had liked being one of the first.  “Hey, Lexa,” Buffy greeted with a smile, her Slayer hearing having picked up Lexa’s groan.  “So . . . PMS huh?”

“It seems that way,” Lexa answered dryly, looking a little annoyed at Buffy, who just grinned more widely.  “Don’t worry, Buffy, nothing debilitating.”

“Good,” Lotion said happily, her form-hugging Amazonian dress showing off what she had, “I don’t want my future husband in horrible pains.”  She then turned her head and glared at Buffy, who had the wit the gulp slightly nervously.  Willow and Lexa grinned at that, making Buffy pout.

Cordelia was finished taking Lexa in, and started, “Well, isn’t that-”

Oz who had one arm around her waist gave her a squeeze, interrupting her.  She looked down, and while almost imperceptibly shaking his head a bit, he said calmly, “What does she do when you snipe at her?”

Cordelia blinked while everyone looked interested at the exchange.  “She snipes back of course!” Cordelia stated haughtily.

Oz nodded and raising his free hand at Lexa said, “PMS.”

Cordelia frowned, took a look at Lexa.  Her eyes widened and as she took a step back, she said, “Oh.  Thank you.”

“No prob,” Oz said, tightening the single arm around Cordelia’s waist a bit, into a supportive, almost protective, hug.

Cordelia then said, “Well, you’re looking great, Lexa.  Even in more casual clothes.”

Lexa looked wryly at Cordelia while the others tried to cover their chuckles.  Cordelia glared them into silence.  Lexa sighed and turned toward the school building, taking the lead. The others followed and Willow said, “Well, Cordelia is right Lexa, you look delectable as usual.”  Willow gave Lexa a smile as she turned her head to look at the witch, who was looking delectable as well in short red dress with a white t-shirt under it.

“So do you,” Lexa returned, with a smile.

Buffy’s face had steadily grown a bigger and bigger grin, till it reached the status of evil.   “So, you feeling irritable yet?” she asked, making Lexa turned half-way around to look at the blonde.  Buffy quickly moved forward to be on Lexa’s left, and said, “Just cataloging which of over the 150 symptoms you have this time around, Xan.  Might help later.”

“No,” Lexa said with a sigh, and said, “and you can count on this; no matter the hormones, I’ll never become ‘irritable’.  I’ll be perfectly nice all the way.”

“Are you sure?” Buffy asked him with a frown.  “‘Cause I know of few techniques to keep the killing instincts under control.  Could help too.”

“No, I’ll be just fine, no irritability here,” Lexa answered again.

“Well, just in case,” Buffy said looking down, “You know counting sheep?  While one of my faves is counting strangling men.  I imagine strangling a guy till he’s dead, count the corpse, and then go to number two.”

They reached the entrance, as they stepped inside the highschool Lexa turned her head and looked at Buffy with a weird expression.  Behind them Oz stiffened a bit at Buffy’s casual mentioning of strangling guys.  Cordelia grinned down at him and squeezed him reassuringly. Lotion took over, “Me, I just beat the crap out of any Amazon stupid enough to want to spar with me.  It’s very therapeutic.  Sadly, there are not many people here who would spar with me, or are stupid enough to do it when I’m . . . irritable.”

Lexa sighed.  “So Willow, what’s your technique?” Buffy asked with a smirk, partly genuinely interested.

“Oh, well, uh . . .” Willow looked down, her old shy self seeming to return for a moment. She looked up and said, “Imagining ripping off a guy’s balls and making him eat them.”

A paled Oz gave a grunt, and then said, “I don’t think it’s healthy for a guy to be listening to this.”  The girls except Lexa turned their heads around a smirked at him.

“So what about you, Cordelia?” Buffy asked.

“Shopping,” Cordelia answered immediately.

“Duh,” Buffy said immediately, rolling her eyes exaggeratingly, “I mean when you can’t go shopping, when you’re in school or in class.”

Oz looked half dreading up at Cordelia, and she answered with an evil grin, “Tearing into fashion suicide cases.”

Willow’s eyes widened and then turned back Cordelia with an angry look, “Is /that/ why you’ve been calling me names all these years?  You were PMSing?”

“Not just,” Cordelia said, folding her arms across her ample chest, “I’ve hacked into you when I wasn’t on occasion, but putting a fashion victim in front of me when it’s that time of the month, is like waving a red cloth in front of a bull.”

Willow let out a dangerous high pitch growl, and said, “I think I’ll start to return the favor when it’s that time of the month for me.  Some payback is in order.”

Cordelia just looked annoyed at the redhead.  Buffy took up the thread again, asking Lexa, “Are you certain you don’t feel any irritability?”

“No,” Lexa answered.

“You sure?” Buffy asked again, in an annoying fashion.  “‘Cause seriously, we’ve got more where this came from.”

Lexa sighed a bit, and said with a slightly annoyed tone, “I’m not irritable, Buffy.”

“Okay then.  But you better be /real/ certain, because we can’t help you when we’re in class,” Buffy said with an overly sweet voice.

“Buffy!” Lexa exclaimed, finally fed up, stopping, and making everyone follow suit.  “I am /not/ irritable!  Get that through to your blonde head!  /Not/ irritable!  NOT!  I am perfectly nice, and there is not a singe of irritability.  Now quit with it, or I’m going to use this fist to show you just how not irritable I am!”  Lexa held her right fist up for Buffy to see, and the blonde just looked at her with raised eyebrows.  The others were standing there, looking at her with wide eyes as well.  A slight smile crept up Buffy’s face as Lexa turned to look at all of them looking at her.  Realizing what she did, and why they all were looking at her, she rolled her eyes, and said, “Oh, please!  If I were a guy, I would have done the same thing.”  She then turned back facing forward, and marched off.

Buffy giggled.  “That was mean, Buffy,” Lotion pointed out.

Buffy rolled her eyes at the sexy Amazon, and said, “Xander would never say that to me; he might bet pissed, but he’d find a creative way to pay me back.”

“Doesn’t matter,” Lotion said and demonstratively turned her back on Buffy and stalked off.

“Perhaps not mean, Buffy, but it was low,” Willow pointed out, and turned in the direction of her locker.

“Oh, come on, it was funny,” Buffy said with a grin.

“Yep,” Oz concurred.

Cordelia casually finished his thought, just as brief as her boyfriend, “Still low.”  Then they also walked off, and Buffy threw up her arms in defeat.

*****

A little later Buffy found Lexa in the gym.  She was in her own clothes and doing Tai Chi exercises.  The class that had gym and the teacher were still in the dressing rooms, so apart from the two of them, the gym was empty.  Buffy walked over to Lexa, and asked, “What are you doing?”

“Rooting my chi,” Lexa answered her.

“I /know/ that, I’m not blind,” Buffy returned somewhat miffed.

Lexa took the time to turn her eyes to the Slayer, and then asked, “Then why are you asking?”

Buffy took a deep steadying breath, and letting it out she said, “I meant, why are you doing that?”

“To calm down, take control of my body, counteract the effect of hormones,” Lexa answered calmly, lowering herself, putting a foot, and then gently moving her hands outward. “I’ll be damned if I’m going to let some hormones control me, and I’m not going to whine either.”

Buffy smiled friendly, “Is that what you call what we do?”  Odd, Buffy thought, how Lexa/Xander could switch from rather feminine ways of speech to very masculine speech patterns like that.  Lexa just moved her eyes toward her.  “School is starting, you know,” Buffy said with a smile.  “Is that really going to work?”  This time Lexa just looked oddly at her.  “Okay, okay, I can tap my chi, I can feel it.  But turning off PMS?”

Lexa rolled her eyes, and said, “I’m not turning it off, I’m pushing it down, bringing my normal response and chi patterns to the fore.”

Buffy blinked several times, and then said, “I didn’t think you could do that.”

“Well, you can,” Lexa said, smiling.  She took a final deep breath and turned to Buffy.   “Let’s go, class was starting you said, right?”  Buffy’s eyebrows rose, and then nodded.

*****

Later at lunch they were sitting at a table in the canteen.  “You better?” Willow asked her best friend.  “Or still?”

Lexa shrugged, smiled and said, “Yeah, I’m fine.  An occasional cramp but nothing that really hurts.”

“And the . . .?” it was Cordelia who asked it, leaving the final word of the question out for fear of making Lexa explode again, and this time at her.

“I’m not irritable, I’m just fine,” she answered, smiling, before taking a bite out of her sandwich.  As everyone else ate from their food, Lexa finished her bite and swallowed it. Scowling at Buffy she said, “Unless you’re determined to get me pissed off, you’ll have to do enough to get me pissed off when I’m not . . . you know.”

Lexa gobbled down the sandwiches she had brought with her quickly and easily, while the others took their time a little more.   She sat up and looked around, still feeling hungrily.  So she got up and joined the line at to the school food.  A little later she returned with a plate full of many things, as well as a beaker of fruit yoghurt.  She smiled and started to shovel in the food with great gusto.  Her friends watched and smirks crept up their faces.  “What?”

Lotion smiled friendly at him, and said, “I think we found another symptom?”

Lexa looked around confused, noticing the food finally.  “I’m hungry,” she complained.

Willow grinned, and pointed out the slop that past for the school’s cafeteria food.  “Lexa, you’re eating school slop as if it were ice cream,” she said.

Lexa looked from the food to Willow and back.  She sighed, and grumbled, “Do I point out every idiosyncracy I notice in you guys on regular intervals of four weeks?  No?  Well, then don’t do it with me!”

“I thought you weren’t irrita-” Buffy started with a smile.  She stopped as Lexa’s dangerous eyes suddenly flashed at her, and her smile faltered, making her swallow.  She got the message, ‘You better not be starting again,’ loud and clear.  “Never mind,” she said quickly, sitting further back on the chair.

Lexa continued feasting on the slop in demonstrative silence.

*****

The Scooby Gang including Giles, Jenny and Joyce were sitting at Xander’s dining table, and Lexa came out of the bathroom.  “This is actually more annoying than the PMS,” she muttered seeing her friends sitting at the dining table.  The table was set with a feast that she had prepared for them.  They were eating, and talking amongst each other, but Buffy had looked over and smirked at her.

“Hey, there’s the tampon,” Buffy was the one to point out.  Oz and Giles sitting across from each other tried to stay as inconspicuous as possible.

“Tried them, didn’t like it, remember?  I’m with Willow on that one,” Lexa muttered reaching her chair and sitting back down.  “Especially when it stimulates places at inappropriate times.”

Oz and Giles’ eyes widened, sitting completely still and looking at each other, neither knowing if Lexa meant what they thought she meant.  There were several agreeing and disagreeing murmurs.  Cordelia said out loud, “All I know is, I can’t live without my tampons.”

“Tampons are for wimps,” Lotion commented from her seat, and the two were about to start a big fight.

“How about we get back to dinner?” Giles decided to interrupt with as guarded a polite smile he could manage.  “This doesn’t seem an appropriate subject at this time,” Giles finished. He just knew what Oz was thinking: the exact same thing he was thinking: the numbers are not in our favor and why did Xander/Lexa have to invite is here when he was all girl to make it worse?  Can we get out of here?

“I agree,” Oz added in.

“Are the men a little uncomfortable?” Willow asked with a smirk.

Jenny cut in, half in defense of her boyfriend, half because she agreed, “I think Giles’ is right.  Plenty of places and times to talk about the monthly business, but not during dinner.”

“Yeah,” Lexa chimed in with a happy smile, finishing cutting off a piece of her stake. Holding it up, she said, “Food now, happy times, no monthly business - so decrees the man of the house.”

There was some laughter, masking two relieved sighs starting a few moments after the laughter started.  “This is a nice place, Xander, and you’re a great cook,” Joyce commented from her place at the head of the table opposite Lexa’s position.  “If it were possible, I’d have you cook for me and Buffy every night.”

“Please, don’t, Xan,” Buffy groaned, after swallowing down her third helping of the lean meat and delicious - but undoubtedly fattening - sauce, along with cauliflower in delicious - and once again fattening - cream sauce, with baked potatoes with some delicious - you get the idea - sauce.  “I’ll be too fat to stand up in no time.”  She actually felt guilty for stuffing herself the way she had been, but it was just too delicious not to get a second and then third helping. Her third helping was almost gone.

“What is that supposed to mean?” Joyce commented, considering it a slight to her cooking.

Buffy had been eyeing what was left and how many people were eyeing it as well, calculating the odds at grabbing one more helping before anyone else could.  She had Slayer speed; but Lotion would be just as fast.  Her thinking like that about a fourth helping of food, and thinking made her feel guilty.

“Well!?” Joyce repeated with a stinging tone reserved only for her daughter, who’s head jerked to regard her mother - a very well trained monkey indeed.

“Hmm?” Buffy said, while she rationalized that since she was the Slayer, had a Slayer’s metabolism, and she needed the energy to dust vampires for the good of mankind, she could have a fourth helping without getting fat or needing to feel selfish.  Of course, that rationalization made a new wave of guilt sweep through her.

“Do you think my cooking is bad?” Joyce clarified with narrowed eyes, while everyone else became a little more nervous.  An angry Joyce was scary to hear.

“What!?  No!  Why!?” Buffy said half-panicked, not wanting her mother’s ire directed at her.

“Why do you think you’re going to eat so much more of Xander’s cooking you’ll get fat?” Joyce said, directed at her.

“No, no, uh . . .” Buffy said, twitching like a fish on a hook, or a daughter in her mother’s sights.

“It’s just that Xander cooks so much more fattening, Mrs. Summers,” Willow said politely, helping out her best friend.  “Just one helping of his food, is like three helpings of yours.  You being woman like Buffy, understand the need for a girl’s careful diet.  I myself am planning to fast for a day after this feast.”

Giles who finished swallowing down some delicious potatoes, decided to say, “Well, Buffy being the Slayer- OW!”  Willow’s smile never once wavered as Joyce looked suspiciously over to the watcher and the witch who were sitting next to each other.  Giles was reaching under the table, making rubbing motions.

“That must be what Buffy meant,” Lexa chimed in with a smirk, “because I’ve tasted you’re cooking Joyce, and it’s every bit as good as mine, if not better.”

“Yeah, that’s exactly what I meant,” Buffy quickly said with a smile at her mother, making a mental note to remember she owed Willow and Xander big time.  Quickly the Slayer sent a glare to Lotion and Cordelia to make sure they wouldn’t get the idea to let their blabber mouths loose.  She didn’t need to; Cordelia didn’t seem interested in tangling with the elder Summers, and Lotion was too engrossed into stuffing herself with Lexa’s delicious cooking . . . and Buffy’s fourth helping.  When Buffy noticed that, her glare toward the Amazon increased a thousand fold.

Buffy got a nudge from Lexa, and she said, “There’s still dessert.”  Buffy’s face lit back up.

“So, everything all right?” Joyce decided to ask.  Buffy had reassured her time and time again nothing big was on the horizon, but she had the sneaking suspicion her daughter would lie to her so she wouldn’t get worried.  “On the supernatural end, I mean?”

“Yes, no more than the usual on top of the Hellmouth,” Giles said, a slight edge of wryness in his voice.

“Everything seems to be fine, which tells me we should be more vigilant,” Lexa added, frowning at her observation.

Jenny nodded, and said, “It would be nice if Amy joined us; another magic user to fight the demons is never a luxury, especially not on the Hellmouth.  I have forced her to learn with me and Willow, more to instill some morality and knowledge of consequences in her than anything else; she doesn’t want to be anywhere near the actual fighting though.  Says she’s no hero, and just wants to live her life.”

“Which is her good right,” Cordelia added a little testily, “an idea I had, before the weird stuff kept sucking me back in.”

“And you wanted to impress one of the heroes,” Willow pointed out with her fork aiming at Cordelia.  The cheerleader glared at Willow for having the audacity to convey Cordelia might be here out of her own volition.

“Destroying vampires is fun, good training, sadly their numbers are down lately though,” Lotion told Joyce with a smile.  “Things are quiet.”

*****

On the way back, Joyce drove Willow home.  Buffy was sitting in the passenger seat, with the redhead in the middle of the backseat.  Willow was speaking with a large eyes, “Danish pudding: vanilla pudding on red berry sauce with raisins and currants in it, and separate whipped cream for those who want it.  How does she come with this stuff?  That was sooooo tasty!  Yummy, yummy, delicious!  I still can’t quite believe it.”

“Oh, yeah, I’m about to explode,” Buffy said with a groan, feeling her belly.  “I’m going to regret going to Xander’s birthday party in the morning.”

Joyce nodded, and said, “Like I said, I wouldn’t mind him cooking for me every day. Doubt it’ll be feast every time, but if I don’t have to cook, hmm.”

“I kinda feel guilty,” Buffy took over with a pout.  “I gave him, her - ah! - a nice gift; but that feast was worthy of a house.”

“With his children from your womb,” Willow said dreamily, making Buffy and Joyce turn around to look at her.  “Hey!  I’m in love, sue me!  And road!”  Joyce quickly turned around and steered the car back to a nice straight line.

“Pretty sad Ryoga had left before Lexa’s birthday party, they got along pretty good,” Buffy thought out loud once the car was on the straight and narrow again.

“Yeah, she had a pretty big crush on him too.  Happy he didn’t want her, what a dumbass really,” Willow commented off hand; the whole thing having past and gone.

“WHAT!?” Buffy exclaimed in shock.

*****

“Ah!” Xander Harris, stepped with an overly comment of relief past Buffy into her house. “Male once more, thank god!” he added and walked onward to the living room where Willow and Lotion were already waiting.  As Lotion had been present during the initial idea, she had insisted to be part of the ‘debriefing’ as Xander’s inner soldier had dubbed this little get together.  He went to his seat on the couch next to Willow and sat down.

“Being a girl is that bad?” Willow asked him both perturbed and curious as Buffy sat down next to Lotion across from Xander on the couch with the window.

Joyce joined them, sitting down in the chair, while Xander answered, “No, girl is pretty great.  I’ve just gotten used to switching genders.  I can barely grasp how I got through the first seventeen years of my life.  It’s just so much fun to be able to switch between them. Being stuck in one almost feels unnatural to me.  Seriously, you guys should call up the Jusenkyo guide and ask if there is a cursed spring of the drowned boy, and if so, book a flight.”

“EW!?  Being a guy?  No think you!” Buffy exclaimed horrified at the thought. “Belching, and having a . . . ew.”  Joyce looked amused at her daughter, while Willow nodded slowly.  Apparently she agreed, but not quite as overly horrified by it as Buffy was.

“Hey, you wouldn’t have a period and PMS ever again without you wanting to.  Every time you switch to male, the cycle gets reset,” Xander told here with a grin.

Buffy’s eyes suddenly widened, and then said, “Nah, isn’t worth it.”

“I agree; I’m too scared I turn in an Amazon male wimp,” Lotion added with a grim expression.  “No gender changes for me.”

“Suit yourselves, your loss,” Xander said with a shrug.

Joyce decided to pull the conversation to what it was supposed to be about, “So, Xander, what did you think of your period itself.”

Xander nodded, and said, “Annoying, glad I don’t have to go through it.”

Buffy smirked at Xander, while Willow didn’t quite know what to feel.  Xander seemed okay, but it was her glamour idea that forced him to have to go through the annoying.  “Told ya,” Buffy spoke, smiling cheekily.

“Don’t get me wrong, Buffy,” Xander answered, sitting more forward to regard her better, “it’s annoying alright, it’s worse than some men think it is; but it most certainly isn’t as bad as some of you make it out to be.”  It was Joyce’s time to nodded with a sneaky smile of her own, while Buffy looked at him with a surprised pout.  Xander continued, “You can definitely control your reactions, reason yourself through a hormone surge, especially now that I’ve taught you the Tai Chi stuff.  Doing that can put you in control even more.  Don’t think I’m going to take PMS as an excuse anymore; unless I was being really obnoxious like you were.”

“I was just kidding,” Buffy repeated her defense another time, as she started to realize what it mean.  “Ah, dang, I knew I shouldn’t have you do it, after mom said . . .”  Buffy deflated.

Willow grinned, and said, “Xan, is that all?”

“I kinda like the ovulation part,” Xander said with a smile.  “Hearing and eyesight are better, and the- uh . . . well . . .”

Joyce tried to stifle a laugh, but failed, making it come out like a choke.  “Sorry,” she said with a smirk, “You handled /all/ of the hormones very well, I see.”

“Ah, mom,” Buffy complained.

“Yes, he did.  I expected nothing less from my future husband; he has triumphed once again!” Lotion exclaimed happily, making two sets of yes look at her with mirth, and two sets of eyes glare at her.

“So?  Xander Harris is back again to woo the girls, eh?” Joyce asked Xander with a naughty smile that Buffy blanch at her mother in shock.

“What can I say?” Xander answered with a grin.  “I’m irresistible; which considering whose genes I carry, is a miracle.”  Xander frowned as he thought it over, while Willow snickered.

“You are full of yourself, Xan,” Buffy told him, half smiling.

“The only reason why I don’t have a horde of Sunnydale High girls after me, is because a certain Amazon kicked some of their asses and threatened to do the same with the rest; and I don’t have four after me, because I dumped one,” Xander told Buffy with a grin.

Buffy opened her mouth to come up with a reply, but couldn’t, making Lotion and Willow laugh.  “Face it, pig-nosed girl, my future husband is full of himself, but not /too/ full of himself.”  Buffy folded her arms across her chest, and sat there annoyed, steaming and stewing, while three women laughed, and one guy smirked.

*****

The mayor of Sunnydale, one Richard Wilkins the third, looked out the window of his office. Smiling as he took in his quaint little town, that wasn’t quite so little.  “Allan, we’re doing a good job here,” he said proudly, “There’s hardly any littering, everyone has water and heat, educational system is the best in the state, plenty of parking space, a lovely park and old buildings.  Why, if it weren’t for the death toll, this would the best place in the country, if not the world!”  He turned around and grinned at his deputy mayor that was standing in front of his desk, and said, “Shucks, even with the death toll we might be the best in the country, most assuredly in the state!”

“Of course, sir,” the timid, small man in a suit said, “we have a problem though.”

“We could do with some better facilities for the kids though,” Wilkins went on happily as he walked to his chair, “a few fields to play ball games on, perhaps with some playgrounds adjacent to them.  The kids are important Allan, they are our future, never forget that.”

“Of course not, sir,” Allan answered the mayor.

The mayor sat down in his chair, and said, “Now, Allan, what dreadful business are you reporting this time?”

“You were right about the magic, sir,” Allan told him and forced himself to take a deep breath.  “It seems that the vampire Dalton is preparing something big, and he’s doing it very quietly: wards, magical and otherwise, glamours.  He’s keeping his minions on a tight lease; probably so they don’t tip of the Slayer and her friends on what he’s doing.  He’s actually using his brain, sir, and he seems to have a powerful one.  He was one of Spike’s crew before he and his companions were destroyed.”

“Well, now, that’s quite enterprising of the good fellow,” Wilkins said with amicable smile.  “Any idea what he’s planning?”

“Ah, yes, sir, uhm . . .” Allan stopped nervously.

Wilkins smile grew reassuring, and said, “Come on, Allan, spill it out.  I don’t kill the messenger . . . not usually at least.”  Allan’s face blanched, and Wilkins laughed out loud. “Just kidding, Allan, out with it.”

“Okay, we sent someone to infiltrate the Dalton’s little circle, and he reported ‘Ascension,’” Allan finished, and gulped.

Richard’s smile never wavered, but the laughter in his eyes turned to ice cold, and he said, “Well, now, that is mighty inconsiderate of him.  You’d think one would ask if it’s your turn; it’s only common courtesy.”

“I know, sir, the world isn’t as it used to be,” Allan agreed with the mayor.

“Damn right, it isn’t,” the mayor said, placing a light tap on the desk with his fist.  “Oh, well, we’ll just have to deal with it somehow.  Any ideas?”

“I was thinking we let the Slayer and her friends deal with it again, sir.  They are quite effective after all, sir,” Allan pointed out.

“Indeed they are, aren’t they?” Mayor Wilkins said with a smile.  “Like I said, Allan, the children are the future.  And I must say, relocating that arm to where we knew their little group had hired a warehouse for the night, was a brilliant idea on your part.”

“Thank you, sir, sending those portents to the second Slayer and her watcher was inspiring, though,” Allan returned, more calmer now that the bad news was out, and all was well.

“It was, wasn’t it?” Wilkins said with a smile.  “I must put the blame for the Master fiasco squarely at my own two feet, I underestimated him and his minions digging him out so soon. Now that I think about it; getting the second Slayer back into the mix, might not be such a bad idea.”

“Shall I buy the same ingredients as last time, sir?” Allan asked him.

Wilkins nodded with a smile, and said, “Yes, Allan, please do.  Try to find an alternative for frog legs, though.  The stains are very difficult to remove.”

“I will try, which makes us come to a final thing,” Allan told the mayor, as he pulled a large yellow envelope from his jacket.

“And what might that be, Allan?” the mayor asked amicably as Allan placed the envelope on his desk.

“An artifact has been unearthed by the Sunnydale University archeology division,” Allan answered him simply.  “It’s a large box with some writing on it.  Ancient writing, since you are better with the ancient languages, I thought you might want to take a look at it.”

“Yes, that would be a good idea, Allan.  If that is all, you can go so I can take a look at this,” the mayor told him, opening the envelope.

“Yes, sir,” Allan said and left the office.

~~~~~28~~~~~

The rectangular rock formation stood in the middle of the room.  Several people around it were cleaning it with delicate brushes.  Tables with papers and the occasional computer showed this was a university lab.  Some parts of the rock formation were straight, except for the small symbols carved into it.

“Uh, hello,” a British voice called.

One portly man in university professor clothes turned and asked, “Rupert Giles?”

“Ah, yes,” Giles answered as he passed the door frame.  The portly man put his tools down on a table.

“Good day, I’m Doug Perren,” the man said, walking over to Giles and guided him in. “Thanks for coming.”

“Oh, not at all, I’m . . . flattered to be asked,” Giles said, shaking the man’s head walking toward the rock formation.

“How could we not?” Doug answered with a smile, “I called up Lou Tabor at the Washington Institute, and he said we had the foremost expert on obscure relics right here in Sunnydale.”

“Oh,” Giles said, smiling embarrassedly, “I . . . uh . . . he exaggerating a little.  Ah, is this . . .”

“This is our baby,” Doug answered with a proud smile, “Construction workers dug it up outside of town.  Don’t have a clue what it is.  Any ideas?”

Giles touched the rock and took a better look at it, and said, “A few.  None I’d care to share until I can verify.”  He then checked out the writing, and asked, “You, uh, have carbon dated this?”

Doug shrugged and said, “Results are due back tomorrow.  I’ll go on a limb and say ‘old’.”

“Yes, it-it does seem to predate any known settlement,” Giles said, moving to the right and frowning at a groove.  He looked to his right and found a jar with a scraper.  “May I?”

“Sure, go right ahead,” Doug answered friendly.

Giles picked up the jar, and scraped more rock not belong to the artifact away, and the groove becomes more clearer, straighter.  He took the scraper back and tapped it clean in the bowl, and asked, “I assume you haven’t tried to open it.”

“Open it?” Doug asked surprised and leaved over, looking at the groove.  “Well, I’ll be damned, I thought it was solid rock.  What do you think is in it?”

“I haven’t got a clue,” Giles answered looking up and down the tall rock.

“I guess we won’t know until we open it,” Doug answered with a slight green.

“Indeed,” Giles answered, frowning as he went over the writing.  “I was hoping though, you’d consider keeping it closed, until . . . uh . . . until I have been able to do some research; to give us an idea what’s in it?”

“You don’t like to be surprised?” Doug asked him with a smirk.

“Not as a rule, no,” Giles answered taking a step back and taking in the almost two and a half meter tall monstrosity.  “Can I take an imprint of the writing?”

“Okay, we’ll wait, and go ahead,” Doug answered Giles just a slight hint of disappointment in his voice.  Giles went to the table to get some paper, then a pencil to strike it on the paper.

*****

“Uah, this makes no sense.”

The statement was final, and filled with disgust.  It rang through Buffy’s room for all to hear.  At the same time as stating it, Buffy slammed her piece of paper on her desk.  Next to her sat Willow who quickly took the paper and said, “No, of course not, you just have to . . . oh, yeah, this doesn’t make sense.”

“I told you,” Buffy said with a pout, “I’ll never complete finals this way.”

“Hey, but at least you know it doesn’t make sense now, that’s progress,” Willow said enthusiastically, drawing a disgusted look from Buffy.  Obviously saying Buffy was even stupider than she thought she was, or had been, was not a good boost.

The Slayer snorted, and said, “I can’t believe we hat to learn this stuff.  Once we graduate highschool what do we need Chemistry for?  Or Physics, or . . . or even-”

Buffy was just about to continue; starting with ‘English’, when Xander spoke up, “Build bombs.”

Buffy and Willow turned around to regard their friend with wide eyes.  They had all but forgotten he was here; but there he lay, on the bed studying himself.  He looked up, and said with a smile, “You can blow demons up with them . . . and if you combine Chemistry with Physics, you might be able to figure out a anti-vamp bullet.  Means you can kill them without ever having to get near one.”

Buffy and Willow regarded their smiling friend for a moment.  “Okay, Chemistry,” Buffy suddenly said, turning to her redhead friend, “come on, Will, focus here.  Chemistry, and then physics, then the rest.”

“Okay,” Willow said, quickly turning back around to the task at hand, wanting to say thanks to Xander for getting Buffy to focus on learning, while at same time perturbed what the promise of violence could elicit in Buffy.  Then again; easier and safer means to keep demons meant longer living Buffy, so perhaps it wasn’t so surprising.

*****

“Nihau.”  Buffy, Xander and Willow, who had just arrived in school, turned around at the familiar call.  Lotion joined them, and said, “School year is almost over.  Is Future Husband looking forward to vacation.”

As Willow and Buffy groaned, Xander answered, “Oh, yeah; nice trip to Japan.  Booked and ready.”

Willow and Buffy looked oddly at Lotion, as she openly with wide eyes checked Xander up an down.  At first they thought she was openly ogling Xander, but then they saw her do the same to herself, looking back at her ass.  Confused they decided to ignore it, and Willow asked her, “So, how is your finals studying going, Lotion?  We’ve been crunching it hard yesterday. Will have to continue doing it tonight.  Buffy still needs lots of help.”

“Hey,” Buffy whined a little.

“Oh, just fine, chemistry is easy,” Lotion said with a smile.

“Of course,” Buffy muttered in annoyance.

Xander smiled at Lotion, and asked her, “Can you make a bomb?”

“Sure, but I could do that before the chemistry; Amazon warrior training: once defeated great emperor Min’s army with explosives,” Lotion answered with a grin.

“I think I’m falling in love,” Xander told the brunette with a smile.

“Hey!  I can make bombs,” Willow protested quickly, making Buffy give the studying Wicca a questioning, wry look.  “I can make them bigger than her too.”

“It’s not the size that counts, but how you use them,” Lotion answered sagely.

Buffy turned back to Willow to see if her redhead friend had a comeback.  She hadn’t, for she looked down and muttered something in obvious annoyance.  “I like you,” Xander answered with a little grin, making Lotion perk up a bit more.

“Okay, that’s it - what are you doing?” Buffy suddenly asked, looking at Lotion, stopping the group’s progress.  The Amazon looked confused.  “That’s the third time in as many minutes you looked at Xander’s body and then your own.”

“Checking for scales and fins,” Lotion answered, folding her arms across her chest, making it even more impressive than it already was.

“You were never anywhere near the steam showers!” Buffy wailed in disbelief and shock, making several of the other students look toward the group, speculating what she could possibly have meant.

“And who’s fault is that?” Lotion answered in a huff, as the students turned away once more, the conversation to normal barely audible levels.  “I can’t believe it: who ever heard an all-male swim team?  I could outswim anyone of them, even /with/ their dumb gene therapy. Besides, Xander was, and I was near him and the others.  Could be contagious.”

Buffy groaned, and said, “It’s not contagious.  Tell her, Willow.”  Buffy nudged Willow, prompting for an answer of the present brainiac.  Said brainiac however, was zoned out a bit with a slight smile on her face.  Inside her mind, Willow was replaying the scene: first Lotion came out in a drool-worthy bathing suit, and Lotion being drool worthy herself . . . Damn it was evil that her rival had to be so delectable.  Of course, Xander in a Speedo afterwards, had positively made her, and she was pretty certain Buffy and Cordelia who had been watching the swim team training with her, cream her panties.  The good-looking boys in Speedos before both of them, hadn’t helped matters of course.  As for bathing suits though, the only one Willow could think of that would look better in one than Lotion would be Lexa.  Most definitely time for a trip to the beach . . .  “Huh?” Willow said, throwing her head to her right and at Buffy, “Oh, no, not contagious.”  Willow felt herself go red, but the two battling shrews didn’t seem to care.  For a moment she wondered if defeating the couch together, made Lotion and Xander come closer, but quickly dismissed it.  He seemed pretty interested in herself, lately, having demanded to go over to Buffy’s studying for their ‘three-way friendship’ sakes.

“Better safe than sorry,” Lotion said in response.

Buffy rolled her eyes, and said softly, “The fish monster you turn into, will rip out of its own skin.  All changes underneath, looking at your skin won’t help at all.”

“Ah, good, there you are,” a British voice sounded, and Giles caught up with them. “Come along now, quickly.”

The four of them looked at each other, Buffy and Lotion’s squabble forgotten, and they quickly followed.  They soon entered their familiar headquarters: Sunnydale High library.  As the four of them entered behind Giles, they found that Oz and Cordelia were already there. Jenny emerged from the office.   “So what’s the big emergency, Giles?” Cordelia said annoyed.

“Well, I found something disturbing,” Giles said, walking to the corner of the table, while the others sat down.  “Or rather, someone else found something disturbing and they asked for my expertise,” Giles said with an imperious voice.

“Just when I was enjoying the calm,” Buffy muttered dejectedly, but then put in a little effort to pay attention.

Giles cave her a look, and the Slayer placed her legs demonstratively on the table, but otherwise kept silent, waiting patiently.  Giles sighed, and went to explain, “Yesterday, I was called by the archeology department of Sunnydale University; I was asked to take a look at something they found.  Construction workers dug up a rectangular stone box.  It was mostly covered with rock outcroppings, but a few sections were bare, and they contained inscriptions. I made prints.  I have not yet had time to fully translate the texts; they are partially still obscured and I’m not well-versed in Akkadian-”

“Let me guess,” Xander interrupted the watcher.  “You want us to help with the research, and you have an idea?”

“Indeed,” Giles said, and took off his glasses.  He looked at his charges seriously, and said, “This is very important, although I don’t think I have to remind you.  My suspicion is Acathla; which means it would be prudent for some of you to research him as well, until we are certain that he is not it.”

“Or we know everything about this Acathla,” Oz pointed out calmly.

Giles nodded, “Indeed.”

“Don’t leave us in suspense, Giles, what /do/ you know of this Acathla that makes you suspect it?” Willow asked the watcher with eagerness for information.

Giles wiped his brow with the blouse on the back of his arm, and put his glasses back on, then said, “I know that Acathla was turned to stone by some great warrior, then imprisoned and buried.  There was something about Acathla that made him extremely dangerous - Apocalypse dangerous.  If someone would be to release him - make him alive once more . . . well, I don’t think I need to paint you a picture.”

“Hell fire, monsters, damnation, blood, guts, death,” Lotion supplied.

Xander answered Giles with a grin, “That about sum it up, Giles?”

“Quite, let’s get to work,” Giles said with a grim look.

“Uh, why don’t we just put it away again somewhere?” Buffy said, raising a finger. Everyone looked at her.  “Well, it’s been there for who knows how long, nobody bad on the Hellmouth, so why bother?”

“I like to be certain, and have a way to stop it, just in case it gets freed somehow after all,” Giles spoke with a tone of finality, and Buffy groaned.

And so they went to work . . . actually they went to class, they went to work during breaks.  Finally, later that day, Buffy was the one who hit pay dirt.  “Aha!  Acathla; that’s him right?” Buffy called out loud, and they all turned to her as one.  Quickly they went over, and Giles reached for the book.  “Hey!” Buffy called in protest, and yanked the book to the side, making Giles miss.  “You always do the big announcements, this time I find something, /I/ get to make the big announcement.”

“Buffy,” Giles said, and the Slayer stared him down.  He sighed and took off his glassed to clean them, while giving her a go ahead gesture.

Buffy nodded in satisfaction and took the book back to her lap.  She went to work at the text . . . saying nothing, deciphering the Latin with difficulty; with the ever returning researching the Scoobies had decided to take the old languages given on Sunnydale High, Latin, the standard, being one of them.  Of course Buffy wasn’t very proficient yet.  After some silence, while everyone become more impatient by the second, Jenny spoke up, “Some of us could probably figure it out-”  She was silenced by Buffy’s angry glare.

“Hold your horses, I’m doing this,” Buffy stated petulantly.  Some more deciphering, while whispering among the others broke out, which slowly turned to murmuring.  She glared at them again, and they attempted silence.  Finally she said, “I got it, pay attention everyone.”   They did, and she got up, holding the book in one hand, trying to look officious - not surprisingly she failed miserably.  “Acathla.  Acathla was a demon brought forth to start Armageddon, to sow misery amongst mankind, yada, yada, yada.”  The others groaned at Buffy’s editing.  “Hey!  Pay attention!” Buffy called out, and went back to the book.  “It was given the power to create a dimensional vortex, and thusly suck . . .”  Buffy blinked, looked closer, and said, “Ball?  Suck balls?  A demon that sucks balls!?  What’s so great and terrifying-”

As Oz and Xander suppressed a shudder, Willow blushed, Jenny gave Giles a sympathetic look for more hardships than one, and the various other girls scowled at the blonde, Giles interrupted Buffy, correcting with annoyance, “No, not ball, you idiotic woman, globe: as in the Earth.  That demon sucks Earth into hell.”

“Oh, right, yeah . . .” Buffy replied perkily, and then frowned, “That’s not good.”

“Duh,” Cordelia said, rolling her eyes.

“Hey, Quiet, I’m not done yet!” Buffy called out, silencing her friends.  “All right, let’s see, where was I, oh yeah.  The demon was stopped by a holy knight, who plunged his blessed sword into its chest, upon which demon and sword turned to stone.  They then sealed him in a stone box, and hid it in an unknown location.”

“Right on top of the Hellmouth apparently,” Willow commented with a frown, “Now why would anyone hide something like that in demon central?”

“Exactly because of that reaction,” Xander said sagely, making her and several of the others look over at him.  “Nobody will suspect somebody would hide it here, so nobody would go looking for it here.”

Lotion then enthusiastically finished, “And if someone does find it, they probably weren’t looking for it, which means they’re probably good people, and either hide it someplace else or get rid of it once and for all.”

“Like us,” Oz commented calmly from his relaxed position next to his girlfriend.

“Right, which means the question now becomes, how /do/ we get rid of it?” Jenny asked the assembled committee.

“Ged reed of whad?”

The Scoobies turned around as one and looked directly at the new arrival.  “Kendra!” Buffy was first to exclaim, a smile on her face.  She placed the book on the table, and hurried over to the South American Slayer.  Buffy hugged her, then broke the hug quickly, and asked sternly, “How did you get here?”

“Bought a teeckeet,” she answered and pulled said ticket from her bag as proof.  The Slayer was as made up as before, wore a pair of tight jeans, and a green tight t-shirt, over which was a open jeans jacket.  Finally she wore a backpack.

“Good,” Buffy answered with a smile, nodding, then walked her over to the group.  “I think you know all of them- oh, except Oz.  Oz, Kendra, Kendra, Oz.  She’s the second Slayer.”

Multiple greets were exchanged between the Scoobies and the happy return.  “So why are you here?” Buffy asked her sister Slayer.  “Wait.  Let me guess.  You watcher saw the omens of a dark power rising on the Hellmouth.”

“Eendeed,” Kendra answered nodding.

“Mr. Zabuto did not contact me,” Giles said with a light hint of annoyance.

“Meester Zabuto tought eet prudent, to arrive weetout anyone being able to find out, meening seecrecy even from you,” Kendra explained quickly.

“Well, I guess someone is going to try and revive Acathla after all.  Wonder who,” Xander said, pondering the question.

“Or perhaps the archeologist is going to open the box after all, and wake Acathla without knowing what he’s doing?” Willow supplied with a little dread, looking over to Giles.

“I doubt that, but I can give him a call he most certainly shouldn’t open it,” Giles said, and promptly went to do that.

“What ees dees Acathla?” Kendra asked softly as Giles made the phone call.

Buffy picked up the book and handed it over, confident that Kendra was much better at Latin than she was.  Kendra read through it, with everyone watching her in anticipation, and then looked up with a frown just as Giles finished the phone call.  “Dees does not sound right.   When was eet found?” Kendra asked.

“A few days ago,” Jenny supplied the Latin Slayer.

Kendra looked at Jenny and announced, “Dat ees wrong.  Thee great demon dat me Watcher found out about, has been beesy accumulating power for several weeks now.  Thee demon has been preparing a reetual.  Thee omens and prophecy talk about ‘ee small power riseeng too greadness’, dat ees not dees Acathla.”

“Oh, great,” Cordelia commented sourly, “as if one Armageddon level demon isn’t enough, now there are two of them.  When will it end?”

“When Armageddon succeeds, or they are all dead,” Oz observed coolly, making Cordelia, Willow, and Xander look at him.  He just shrugged.

“May I be so bold to assume that that sentence is not the only thing you brought?” Giles prompted the South American Slayer.

“Eet ees not,” Kendra answered and pulled her backpack off her back.  She opened it, and pulled out a stack of books.

“Oh, joy, more reading,” Cordelia observed sarcastically, while Willow beamed at the prospect.

“Wait a minute,” Xander said, somewhat pissed.  “Are you telling us, some dick demon has actually been doing this under our noses, and apparently kept all his minions in check not doing anything, to make it appear all is quiet?”

“It seems that way,” Jenny said, with a expectation of a retort.

“Oh, my god,” Xander said with wide eyes, perhaps even fear.  That shocked most who knew him; Xander may have made jokes about being afraid, but even then he never really seemed afraid, and after his lovely vacation in China, he’d never seemed afraid at all - more like the opposite.  “This is not good.  Spike wasn’t exactly stupid, but if this guy did that . . . well, Spike was smart, this guy would be brilliant.  He’d be a strategic master mind.  This is not good, seriously not good.”

*****

They were researching, Buffy and Kendra setting next to each other.  Buffy had been talking with the girl; someone who hadn’t been here when she had to dust Angel, her subsequent screw up with the love spell, and her possession gave her a good distraction.  Kendra in the mean time, while talking with Buffy and researching was building up the courage to ask /the/ question.  Finally she had built up enough, and asked, “Buffy, I do not see Angel?  Are you ant eem steell . . .?”

Kendra trailed off well planned, but would have done so if she hadn’t, because a pained look came over Buffy.  “I . . . he . . .” Buffy said softly, pausing to look down.  Then she looked up and whispered all but choking up, “He lost his soul, and I had to dust him.”

“I am sorry,” Kendra answered her softly.

“Don’t be; I would have broken up with him instead, corpse and Slayer don’t mix,” Buffy said, waving Kendra’s compassion away.

“Eet must steell ‘urt,” Kendra whispered, and Buffy nodded.

“Oh, bollocks,” Giles all but exclaimed.

Everyone looked up with dreading looks.  Various books in front of all of them - except Willow and Jenny who gently chanting in a pentagram.  “If I combine these two, and I have my calculations right, then the rising to power will happen tonight,” Giles said in explanation.

“You were expecting anything less difficult?” Buffy asked him cynically.

The flames of the candles on the pentagram star’s points burned a little brighter, and then went down again.  Willow slumped a bit, and Jenny turned her head to Giles and the others. “He’s put up a lot of wards to keep us from detecting his magic.  We found his location though: the church.”

“/The/ church?” Buffy asked stricken; she still had nightmares about Angel almost dying there, only hardly ever as other nightmares had taken their place - although sometimes those blended with the first.

“Didn’t we burn it down?” Lotion asked annoyed.

“I hate dat place,” Kendra muttered with a frown, “lost me favoreet shirt dere.”

“Apparently we didn’t burn it down enough,” Jenny observed with a growl.

Buffy sighed, and said, “You never do, and if you do, somebody else rebuilds it.”  They looked at her, and she said with a blush, “I’ve done some gym burning in my time.”

They nodded remembering.  “Hey, look at the bright side, Buff,” Xander said with a big grin, making Buffy frown.

“Fire is bright?” Buffy guessed.

“Ripping shirts of hot babes,” Xander said with a big grin.

“XANDER!” several female shrieks sounded, and some implements were thrown his way, which he laughingly attempted to deflect with raised arms.

“I concur,” Oz said.

“Oz, you perverted male!” Cordelia growled at him, giving him a light slap on his arm, but smiled surreptitiously at the dirty comment nonetheless.

Oz looked at Cordelia, and told her, “I’ve heard better from you.”  Kendra snickered then, joined one by one by the other girls.

Xander just chuckled.  “Jokes aside, let’s get weapons and go find him now, before this fellow gets to implement his plans,” Giles said, as he visible put the strength-boosting ring on, and then they were off.

*****

A short while later, the whole group arrived at the church.  They cautiously entered through the front door, checking for traps but finding none.  When they entered the main hall from between some machinery, Buffy couldn’t help but look over where Angel had hung.  Along with the others she went silent, slightly widening her eyes at what she saw.  There, at the other half of the church, whoever was the big bad, had done some redecorating.  Candles lit the place, making it look yellow-hued.  Most of the fire damage had been cleaned up.  Upside down crosses, ankhs, and pentagrams adorned the walls surrounding the focal point: the altar, in front of which were two very big pentagrams.  They were on the floor; candles at the star ends, just like Jenny and Willow had earlier, only bigger, two of them, and apparently drawn in blood.  Some fifteen vampires were close by the altar.  All but a few of the benches were gone; either pieces of them lying burned on the ground, or removed by the vampires.

“Well, look at that.”  The vampire’s voice dripped with glee and sarcasm.  He wore glasses and stepped forward from the other fourteen.  He was vamped out, and apparently the leader.  “So, you found us, one of mine disobeyed orders perhaps?” he said with an evil grin, eyes glittering yellow.

“Prophecy and omens,” Buffy told him, as they all took the whole place in.

“Really?” Dalton said with a grin, “I’m important enough for prophecy /and/ omens, I’m flattered.”

“You die!” Lotion yelled, and she, Xander, and the two Slayers charged forward.

“No, hold i-!” Willow cried out, but stopped as she was too late.  About three quarters of the way of the church hall, a deep purple energy wall with oily colors within shimmered as the four of them slammed into it, and then dropped back on their asses.  “There’s a shield,” Willow finished weakly, as the four looked from their down position with dismay at the vampire.

“Bloody hell,” Giles muttered.

“Fuck!  This is bad,” Cordelia cursed, while Jenny just looked astonished, and the four downed warriors slowly got up.

All the vampires chuckled, including Dalton who took a few steps forward.  “Nice of you to find me, but as you noticed, you’re rather a little too late,” Dalton said, tapping the invisible shield with his right index finger, causing it to ripple into visibility.  “This won’t come down, until after we’ve ascended.”

“/We/?” Xander asked with disgust.

“Two pentagrams, two vampires, me, and my friend Marius over there,” Dalton spoke with a big grin.  He had already won.  “There’s no way in, shield surrounds us completely, including the bottom and the ceiling.”

“Ant you are?” Kendra asked the vampire with a grimace.

“Oh, the prophecy didn’t name me, huh?  Name’s Dalton, don’t forget that name, I’ll rule this world soon,” Dalton told the dark Slayer with a smile.  “Now if you would excuse me, however much I like this conversation, I’m somewhat busy.”  He then turned around, and went to one of the pentagrams, pulling out a book that he started reading in.

For a moment the Scoobs looked in frustration, then the warriors turned around and looked at Willow and Jenny.  They joined and did a quick examination spell, then Jenny said, “Sorry, far too powerful for us to breach.”

“RAH!” Buffy growled, turned abruptly and started walking the way they came.  “Lotion, you get your mother, we’re going to need her, and she did make a deal with Xander about that.  The rest of us, we gotta get to the library and find a way to beat them . . .”

Everyone stayed put for just a moment, then followed the blonde out.

*****

“This is really bad,” Buffy said as they entered the library.  They had all been silent on the way back, thinking over their predicament.

“Duh,” Cordelia said depressed.

“Can we do anything?  Could the rocket launcher work?” Willow asked hopefully.

Xander shook his head, “No, he was one of Spike’s minions.  He knows about the launcher, he’s gotten a shield that we can’t penetrate.”

Jenny sighed, and added, “Which would also mean, that whatever he’s doing, will make him too powerful for the rocket launcher.  He won’t go through all this trouble just be blown to bits like the judge.”

They reached the table, and Giles leaned heavily on it.  “So basically, we’re screwed,” Cordelia summed the situation up quite nicely.

“He did make one mistake,” Giles observed thoughtfully, and they all looked hopefully at him.  Giles looked up, and explained, “Noticed when he touched the shield?  It’s two-way, that means it protects us from him as much as it protects him from us.  He’ll have to lower it before he can hit us; he can’t just kill us safely from behind his shield.”

“Wheech means that when ee lowers eet, we can hurt eem,” Kendra summed up the little glimmer of hope.

Buffy felt the need to point out defeatedly, “Of course, he won’t lower it until he’s pretty much invulnerable anyway.”

“So basically, we’re screwed,” Cordelia repeated with some annoyance; why did they always have to try and be smarter than her?

“This isn’t fair!” Buffy exclaimed with wide eyes.  “Where’s the laser canon?  Where’s the super spell?  Where’s the damn magic anti-demon weapon?  We’re the good guys, aren’t we supposed to get some weapon dumped in our laps so we can defeat this thing?”

“Unfortunately, this isn’t a Hollywood production,” Willow said sadly, while Xander perked up.

He blinked, and then slowly walked around his friends toward one still opened book. “Actually,” he started with a slight grin rapidly growing, “we /do/ have a magic, holy, anti-demon weapon.  You’re a genius, Buffy!”  He placed his hands on the table around the open book.

“I am?” Buffy asked and looked over to him, as did the others.  Then they looked down at the book, reading which it was.

Giles was the first to realize what Xander had in mind.  “*Are you off your bloody rocker!?*” he exclaimed.  Everyone looked over to him, and he quickly schooled himself, then continued, “If you take that sword, Acathla will wake up, and suck the world into hell itself. It’ll be worse than suffering from Dalton’s rule!”

“Then we’ll just have to destroy him before he does that, won’t we?” Xander said with a steadily growing grin: growing more cocky.

“And how are you going to do that?” Giles asked him annoyed.

Xander’s grin grew to split his face, and he said, “Giles, seriously, step into the first century.  Or should I say /boom/?”  Everyone looked at him expectantly, as if he was mad, or both.  He clarified, “Remember I said I took a few choice extras from the military base: a little C4 should do the trick.”

“Why don’t we just use this stuff on the big bad Dalton then?” Buffy asked a little confused.

Willow answered the blonde sagely, “Same reason the rocket launcher won’t work.”

Xander added, half correcting, “More so, Dalton is mobile, and you don’t throw those explosives.  Acathla is nicely a rock statue.”

“Real nice plan, dork, but you’re forgetting one thing,” Cordelia said superiorly, “For all its holiness, it’s still a normal old steel sword.  Might be able to kill demons, but you’d have hurt the demon first; and somehow I don’t see a demon that can survive rockets be much impressed with a steel blade.”

“We can help with that,” Jenny said with a hopeful smile, “I have to get a spell book from home, but I know there’s a spell that can enchant a sword and make it far more sharp and unnaturally tough.  It should allow it to penetrate almost anything.”

“Go,” Buffy said.  Jenny nodded and was off to get the spell book.

“That leaves just one thing,” Oz butted in, ever the head of calmness, “we need a way to get that sword out.”

Everyone but Giles nodded, and prepared to get books.  Giles observed, “This is utterly insane, waking up a demon that can destroy the world to vanquish another one.”

“The riskier the road, the greater the profit,” Xander said with a big grin.  “I’m getting the C4 . . . and the rocket launcher; might keep ‘em busy.  Hey, Buff, you get to fire the rocket launcher after all.”

“But I don’t get to blow anything up with it,” Buffy said with a her ‘unfair’ pout and tone.  Xander grinned and was off.

Giles sighed.  Shaking his head, he muttered, “I’m doomed.”

*****

“Found it,” Oz announced.  Lotion and Deo had arrived half an hour earlier.  Jenny had returned a few minutes after that, and she and Willow were now practicing and memorizing the enchantment spell.  Xander had returned with the equipment not soon after.

“This one doesn’t require you to be pure evil and have killed enough people to fill several stadiums?” Willow asked as they all came over to look.

“Nope, no mention of it, just that no one evil can use this,” he explained quickly.

“Good, can you do this, Oz?” Xander asked the werewolf.  Oz raised his eyebrows as if to say, ‘Are you kidding?’ and nodded.  Xander nodded, and said, “Then you and I are going to get our magic sword, the rest of you confront Dalton.”

“Uh, shouldn’t we wait till you got it?” Cordelia asked a little perturbed.

“No time,” Xander said with some annoyance, but not at Cordelia, at the situation, “we don’t know when he’ll be finished, if he’s ready before I get there, you have to keep them busy and in that place; cramped quarters, possibly not fully charged just after whatever they’re doing, and known battlefield might be the only advantages we’ve got, and we have to use ‘em.   We have to fight Dalton there, and nowhere else.”

“Great, no we’re cannon fodder,” Cordelia said depressed.

“Happy to, Future Husband,” Lotion said with a slight bow, making Cordelia roll her eyes.

*****

“You are . . .?” Doug Perrin asked from behind the door.

“We are; you got Giles’ call?” Xander stated business like withing Sunnydale University.

“Yes, okay, come in, I don’t quite get- . . .” Doug started.

“You’ll see,” Xander cut him off, as he and Oz, wheeling a moving cart, walked into the lab.  They walked straight to the box, Xander pulling his small battle axe from his back.

“Hey!” Doug said, but before he could do or say anything else, Xander slammed his axe hard into the groove.  The horrifying sound of splintering rock followed - at least it was horrifying to the archeologist.

Xander and Oz grabbed the door and with straining Hyena-chi-enhanced, and werewolf-enhanced muscles forced open the door.  Inside was the petrified demon; all stone, tusks, and a sword stuck in his left chest.  “That’s a strange piece,” Doug said enthusiastically at the interesting archeological find, a new art work, almost forgetting about the unsafe way it was freed.  Without saying a thing, Xander and Oz stepped half into the box and grabbed the statue on either end.  With a little strain, they picked it up.  “What are you doing?” Doug asked with a frown that came a third from confusion, a third from concern, and a third from annoyance at the amateurish handling.

The super strong humans moved the demon over to the cart, and placed him on it.  “Let’s move it,” Xander said with haste, and grabbed the handle, while Oz moved to the back to hold the statue, keeping it from falling off.

“Hey, you can’t do that!” Doug said concerned now, instinctively hurrying after them.

“Yes, we can, didn’t Giles say so?” Xander asked, as Oz kept his characteristic silence.

Doug shook his head, and said, “No, yes, no . . . he said to let you do whatever you need to do, wheeling it away isn’t part of what I thought he meant.  It’s the universities property, there are archeological guiding principles, and . . . Hey!”

Xander and Oz sped up, continuing to wheel the demon through the night-silent school.   “Don’t worry, we know what we’re doing.  It’s all safe.”  Oz actually raised an eyebrow at that statement - blowing up a statue, safe?  He thought not.

“But- . . . protocol . . . uh,” Doug tried, but the two boys already reached the exit, and with a little maneuvering and lifting the demon was over the threshold of the small side entrance.  Then they went onward, out on the middle ground, quickly going for the middle.   The moment they were done, Xander reached in his jacket and presented three bars of C4.   Doug frowned as he watched Xander place the things on the statue.  “That looks like . . .” he muttered, and then his eyes widened.  “Those are!  You can’t do that!” he exclaimed in shock.

“*Quiet!  This is delicate stuff,*” Xander ordered with authority, finishing with the last bar.  “Oz, do your magic.”

The command silence the man for a moment, watching stunned as Oz presented a book, and a jar with some powder.  Oz tossed it on the statue, the sword of it, and chanted in Latin. Doug’s eyes widened more at the crazy event, mustering up the need to speak.  Oz finished though, and said, “Do the honors, Xander.”

Xander nodded, and grabbed sword’s short handle.  There was a whoosh, and white-blue lite flashing around the sword, which stunned Doug fully.  More so when the stone sword suddenly turned metallic, and was then smoothly pulled free, with equally smooth sound. There was crackling, like stones tumbling down a mountain, and with Doug frozen in position, the statues eyes opened.  Yellow eyes took in the world, looking around, even as bit by bit the head came to life, and onward the rest of the statue.  The teeth turned white, while the skin stayed grey, but now a clear alive grey skin.  The demon opened his mouth, as its eyes settled on Xander, then a blue vortex started to form, then expand, even as the tumbling stone sounds continued and the rest of the demon - still frozen - steadily started to come back.

Somehow the demon could speak, even while opening the slowly expanding vortex.  The grumbling voice, as if made of rock, said, “A human?  You would plunge your own world into hell?”

Xander grinned, leaning closer, and said, “Nah.  If you’re born in the last two millennia, you’ll understand the concept ‘boom’.”  The demon frowned, and Xander pointed at one of the C4 bars at Acathla’s neck.  Behind Xander, Oz took the shocked Doug, and pulled him along to find distance and cover.  Mostly still petrified, the demon’s eyes shot downward with dread, seeing the bar.  “Toodles,” Xander said, turned, and ran off, his new prize in hand.  After several steps, he pulled out a box from his jacket.  He pushed a button on it just as he jumped high and far, onto the University’s roof.

With a mighty explosion Acathla was blown to bit, pebbles of stone raining around, several slamming through a few windows with loud crashes.  Xander, Oz, and Doug had to raise their arms for protection.  Of the demon’s flesh, nothing was left.  The moment the demon was no more, the vortex - now about a meter in diameter - started to shrink, before collapsing in on itself and disappearing.

Xander jumped back down, and gave Oz a look that said, ‘Let’s go.’  Oz nodded and the two started to leave, leaving a shocked, frozen Doug.  “Welcome to the real world,” Oz gave the man a last greet, before they disappeared into the night.

*****

They entered the church, weapons drawn, and looked at the spectacle before them.  “Ah, shit,” Cordelia said, looking at Dalton and Marius standing in the pentagrams.  They were chanting while Dalton’s minions were performing parts of the ceremony.  A red pulsing light was circling both of them; and their eyes were glowing red, they were progressing rapidly.  “We’re so screwed,” Cordelia added, greatly annoyed, as Willow and Jenny had gone over to a secluded corner, where they drew a pentagram and prepared several ingredients and candles.   Buffy loaded her rocket launcher with one of the three rockets.

When they were done they returned to the middle, and Willow said nervously, looking over at Jenny, “W-well, let’s see if Xander’s right, and this makes them jittery.”  Jenny nodded.

Kendra added, “Ant dat being jeettery will cause dem to make meestakes.”  The others nodded, Giles rechecking if his ring was where it should be: on his finger making him stronger.

Willow and Jenny held hands; Willow on Jenny’s left side with her right hand, and Jenny vice versa.  They chanted, bringing their free hands together, pointing at the ceremony.  Then a beam of energy erupted from their hands, and slammed into the shield - without any noticeable effects, apart from making the shield visible as before.  “Anything?” Deo asked coolly.  From the strain on Willow and Jenny it was an obvious ‘no’.

Some of the minions paused, looking at the event.  Dalton paused his chanting for but a moment, not losing his cool at all, just to tell his minions, “Continue.”  They obeyed, and went onward.

After a little bit, the two witches stopped and looked at each other.  The flames on the candles around the two vampires grew, and the blood pentagrams started to glow.  The energy circling them grew more intense, and started to circle faster.  Then they suddenly shrunk, disappearing into the vampires.  Dalton and Marius shuddered as the energy entered them. Their eyes snapped open and started to glow an unholy red.  The church started to tremble with the power, and the Scoobies looked around and up, hoping the church wouldn’t collapse.   Luckily the fire had already destroyed the roof, so they didn’t have to worry about any cave in. The candles started burning even brighter, and then shrunk to the floor as the large flamed consumed the fuel in no time at all.  As the flames hit the glowing blood pentagram, it erupted into flame: the circle first, and then moving inward to the vampires.  Finally the hellish fired the trembling fires, consumed them, and then disappeared into them.

The fire simple stopped, growing smaller then disappearing, after which the glowing dimmed leaving only the blood pentagrams.  The vampires stood trembling and groaning, and then they started growing . . . and growing.  Their limbs thickening, filling with steel muscles. The legs covered with fur, the pants ripped, as did the shoes when cloven feet burst forth from them.  The upper clothes equally ripped apart as the arms grew to the size of tree trunks.  The chests seemed to be made skin as solid as rock; the fangs grew along with the head.  The head stayed the basic vampire head - except for the size and eyes turning blood-red instead of yellow.  Dalton’s glasses were torn apart and dropped to the floor.  Finally they stopped growing at about three meters tall.

“Oh, shit,” Buffy muttered in shock at giant vampires - the fur covering the legs and crotch the only thing that kept their packages from sight - one thing she was eternally grateful for.

“Meet, the /real/ vampire,” Dalton said with a perpetual grumble, “the thing that mixed his blood with humans.”  He slammed his heads on his chest once, and grinned.  “Now for my minions,” Dalton said, and simply pointed his hands at each vampire one by one.  Almost immediately they started to convulse and change; their eyes falling further into their heads; and their fangs growing narrower but longer, while a second fang joined the first right next to it. Their claws and hands grew, while their skin turned paler - even the one black-skinned vampires had pale dirty-white skin at the end.

“Oh, yeah,” one minion growl and then howled at the sky with glee.

“Oh, sheet,” Kendra muttered, mimicking Buffy.

“Turok-Han, extinct super vampires, bollocks,” Giles said in shock at the transformed minions.

“Get ready, Buffy,” Jenny said, keeping her head cool.  Buffy nodded and mounted the launcher on her shoulder.

“Now it’s time for you to die,” Dalton said with hate, and licked his lips in anticipation.   He pointed his hands, the shield became visible for a moment, and then disappeared.

Buffy immediately launched the first rocked.  Dalton pointed his right hand, and two meters in front of him, the rocket stopped.  It hung in mid air for a moment, making Dalton smile, and then exploded harmlessly.  “I am a god, you’re little toys can’t hurt me,” Dalton said with a grin.

“Shoot the minions, Buffy,” Willow said quickly, as the vampires started to advance. Buffy nodded as she already was busy mounting the next rocket.  Soon after, with the Scoobs in defensive positions she fired another rocket, directly hitting an advancing Turok-Han.  The vampire was ripped to shreds, and a second was set ablaze.  Cordelia leaped forward and slashed her swords down at a Turok-Han, but it easily caught her by the wrists.  She kicked it in its stomach, moving it off of her, as the others started to go into action.  Buffy fired another rocket, but this one was stopped by Marius before it could hit another minion, then exploded.

“Shit,” Buffy cursed and pulled her stake.  Next to her Kendra slammed her elbow in one of the Turok-Han staggering it just a little.  Buffy herself smashed her fist with all her might into a Turok-Han making it fly back.

Cordelia managed to decapitate one, turning it to dust, and she said angrily, “Just like any other vampire.” Then she was assaulted by another one.

Lotion tossed one against another, as Deo smoothly decapitated one.  Willow and Jenny drew together as the others fought the super strong minion vampires.  The witches each pointed a hand at one of the monster pure vampires, and said together, “Ignis.”  Flames erupted immediately, consuming both of them.  With two mighty roars red energy blasted out from them and the flames instantly smothered.

“Was that the best you’ve got?” Dalton asked sincerely, and then pointed his right hand at them.  “It’s time for you to die,” he grumbled as a red ball of energy formed.

“Oh, damn,” Willow said, and they both jumped to either side as the ball was flung at them.  It slammed into the ground where they had been a moment earlier and exploded with enough force to send the two hurtling away, even if they were already away but still in the air, leaving a good hole.   They slammed painfully on the ground and rolled onward, and did the same with two of Dalton’s minions and Kendra.

Buffy ducked underneath swing and slammed her stake home; only for it to stop at something solid with an audible crunch.  Buffy’s eyes widened and pulled the stake back, showing the point to be splintered and torn.  “Fuck,” she said, as the vampire chuckled.  It grabbed her by her neck, and moved its fangs forward.  Buffy quickly got her short axe from behind her back and gutted the formally extinct vampire.  It freed her from its grip, but the pain served to only make it more angry.  It roared; but then her axe struck its neck; the head came flying off and it turned to dust.

Giles smashed his right foot in a Turok-Han’s got with the brute force the ring gave him, and it doubled over with pain and surprise.  He then decapitated it with his sword, and moved forward to Dalton.  Next to him a vampire about to hurt Kendra erupted in flames and turned to dust.  With a quick motion Giles stabbed his sword at Dalton’s gut with all his might . . . where it barely penetrated an inch.  The stopping of the sword, made Giles had shoot froward and slam painfully against the guard.  “Insect,” Dalton grumbled and slammed his right hand in a backhanded manner.  As the sword clang to the floor, Giles screamed in pain, hearing his own ribs break.  He was launched backward, up and over the combatants, tumbling along, until he slammed with his back against the church wall.  Once again he yelled in pain, feeling more bones break, and coughing up blood.

“GILES!” Buffy said in anger, and Kendra yelled an angry yell as well.  Buffy killed her attacker rapidly, as did Kendra and they progressed toward Dalton together.  A last few Turok-Han were burned to the ground, as Deo killed the last of her attackers and quickly rushed over to Giles.  Giles was groaning in extreme pain.

As Deo gave him a cursory examination, she said, “I thought that ring gave you great strength?”

“It does,” Giles croaked out, giving a yell of pain, which was blinding.  He wheezing for air with difficulty, and added, “Just not . . . engh . . . less . . . vulnera- . . . ah, it seems!”  Deo nodded, placed her hands on his chest, and rendered him unconscious with a pulse of chi.  She picked him up, and quickly went to move him off of the battle field while the battle raged behind her.

“BASTARD!” Buffy screamed with blind rage, hacking uselessly into Dalton, while Marius was assaulted by Willow with small magic, explosive balls, which apart from making him wince and jerk just a bit didn’t seem to do anything.  “I will kill you!” Buffy raged, as Kendra join her, slashing at Dalton’s furry legs with her sword.  Dalton was growing annoyed, as he deflected blows: only those aiming for his crotch, they might not be able to cut him there, but it could still hurt like hell.

“Oh, really?” he asked, and then took a deep breath.  Instinctively, and smartly, the Slayers looked up, and then Dalton blew out down toward them.  Instead of air, it was a stream of hellfire that came flying at them.  They jumped, aside quickly.  Buffy’s left side got singed, but Kendra almost took the full flame.  She screamed as she was on fire; almost instantly the fire consumed her clothes, licking hungrily at her skin.  One part of her face was already visibly black.  As taught, she immediately started to roll to smother the flames.  Dalton growled angrily and pointed his hand at her, firing another bold of red energy.  Just as Kendra would be ripped to pieces in the explosion, Cordelia slammed into her, and jumped onward. The ball missed, but still had enough explosive power to send the both of them tumbling onward, screaming in pain as the energy singed them, debris pelted them, and ripped their flesh, causing several bloody wounds.  They immediately started their efforts to get up, but were moaning in pain all the way.

Lotion had joined the assault on Marius.  She had decided to forego the sword and her punches indeed did more damage that the sword.  It allowed her too slam her fists with all her might; along with Willow’s and now Jenny’s magical explosive blasts, they actually seemed to make some progress on the monstrously large vampire - when in reality they only succeeded in slowing him down.  Lotion danced and wove around Marius’ wild slams.  “Stand still,” he grumbled, slamming his fist on the ground, making it burst, giving Lotion the opportunity to kick his arm.

  Buffy got up with difficulty, seeing that three of them were already out.  With tears of rage and pain in her eyes, she charged Dalton again.  The vampire’s right hand suddenly snuck out and grabbed her around her waist.  She was shocked as the hand, almost as tall as her torso, lifted her easily off the ground in a painful, vicelike grip.  The claw on its thumb then penetrated Buffy’s right side, making her scream in pain, feeling the warm liquid of her blood rapidly being sucked in her top, and trickle down to her pants.  “I think I’m going to eat you, whole,” Dalton told Buffy.

Deo had just returned, and observed the battle - more like the blood bath, or it soon would be.  Quickly identifying where she was need most, she raced over to Dalton, jumped, and slammed a devastating kick into his right wrist.  “Damn it!” he roared with the suddenly painful jolt, and let go of Buffy, who slammed painfully to the ground.  Grabbing her gushing wound she scrambled away, looking astonished at Deo.

The Amazon warrioress finally showed her true power.  A devastating punch to Dalton’s gut actually made stagger back, and jerk his torso forward a little.  The followup uppercut made Dalton stagger more.  Then suddenly Deo blurred, split up, and a moment later a whole lot of Deo’s were running around the demon, kicking and beating him from all sides.  One to the ribs, to the back.  “What?” Dalton said in surprise noticing the multiple Deo’s.  “Raargh!” he roared and reached . . . straight through non-existent illusion Deo’s, and he looked with wide eyes as kick after kick and punch after punch slammed into him.  One sharp kick to the back of his knee brought him down to it.  With the speed of the chestnuts, Deo drew her sword, charged it with her chi, and with a single devastatingly fast slice, cut open Dalton’s throat.  Deo paused for a moment, the illusions still running around, and looked surprised as the head was still attached; that thing’s hide and bone was immeasurably tough.  Dalton gurgled, and then wound started closing right in front of everyone’s eyes.

“Damn it,” Doe muttered in her own language, then ran again, starting to hit Dalton again.

“That’s it!” Dalton spoke with finality, and with a roar charged an energy ball at both his hands, immediately firing them straight down.  There was a mighty explosion that barely hurt him, but since it enveloped him on all sides it caught Deo full and she was launched away to the back of him, groaning in pain tell she slammed against the wall.

“Exactly,” Marius rumbled, and produced the same tactic, shredding part of Lotion’s clothing, and ripping open her left leg, before slamming into a wall.  “This ends now,” he said, and stepped forward resolutely.  Willow was surprised at the speed, and moved too slow.  A moment later the super vampire’s hand was wrapped around her torso and neck, and yanked her off the floor.  “You die, witch,” he said angrily.

Willow looked up at him with fear and pain as he started to squeeze the life from her. Then suddenly from her right came a small package, which jumped up and grabbed ahold of the arm that was holding her.  His teeth than bit down into the demon’s flesh with all his might. Willow recognized Oz, just as Marius roared with annoyance and a little pain.  He let go off Willow and tossed Oz away with a yank.  He slammed painfully against the wall and groaned, “Willow, Jenny.”

The two witches ran to their prepared ritual sight, while looking around.  The saw Xander at the far end on the second floor, holding the sword up.  He looked grim, and full of righteous anger as he surveyed the scene in front of him.  They reached the ritual sight, quickly calmed themselves, and knowing they couldn’t move until they were finished, being inviting targets, chanted, “Cha di, martok la, castageer, dirma, sword Acathla, korcha moran!”  The ingredients went up in flames, and blue sparkles appeared around their hands, while at same time around the sword.  Then they ran; a moment later an energy ball coming from Dalton slammed into the wall, exploded, and sent them flying while being battered up by the pieces of wall that were launched from the destruction.

Xander watched as the blue sparkles fluttered around the sword, then felt as if it came alive, the whole blade turned to the same deep, ethereal blue color; a sword of energy.  Hissing in anger, he jumped forward, “May the force be with me.  FUCK YOU!”

He slashed the sword down, but Marius just jumped aside, and slammed his fist against him.  Xander landed painfully against the wall, but jumped up right away.  He ducked beneath the next fist as Dalton advanced on the fight.  Xander hit the demon in the knee, making it stagger back.  With a angry roar he charged.  Feinting to the left, he went to the right.  Marius saw through it, and grabbed him with his left arm, grinning.  A moment later he screamed and let go.  Xander had managed to raise his arms before capture, and had now sliced the energy sword across the offending arm.  It went through with ease, opening a deep, large gash. Raging, Marius brought his right hand forward and fired an energy ball.  Xander had jumped up just before.  Now at the height of Marius’ head, he missed the blast, and then he slashed downward with a snarl and all his might.  The blade, crackling with energy, sliced through the demon once again like a hot knife through butter.  It split Marius head in two, then went through his neck, all the way down through his heart to reach the middle of the chest.

Xander pulled the sword out, and looked at vampire that finished screaming of horrifying pain.  “They heal,” Buffy managed to croak in warning from her position on the ground, cradling her wound.  Instead though, the cut began to glow with red energy, starting at his heart.  Xander frowned, and the almost healed cut on the demon’s arm started to glow as well.

“Oh, shit!  Cover!” Xander yelled as he realized what was happening.  He turned and ran, but then Marius exploded with a mighty explosion, red fire and shockwaves blasting out from him, pieces of his body showering everywhere.  They, however, did not come even a meter before they turned to dust, and the vampire was no more.  The blast had caught Xander and a few others though, and they were tossed about like they were nothing.  Making sure to not lose the sword, Xander found himself painfully slamming against the far wall.

“You bastard!” Dalton roared and walked over to Xander rapidly, his hooves sounding ominously on the marble church floor.  Xander righted himself, and looked up, eyes widening at the massive vampire demon.  Rapidly Dalton slammed his left foot onto Xander’s right wrist, and the yelled with the pain.  He tried to move it, but Dalton’s strength and weight was too much; his wrist, and this the sword was pinned.  “He was my friend, you will /die/ for that,” Dalton hissed, reaching down.  He grabbed Xander by his collar and opened his mouth to bite.  At the same time, with all his strength, Xander shoved the sword away, sliding noisily across the floor.  Dalton paused, looking back to Xander’s hand.  His eyes widened and turned half around.

Buffy, in mid run, picked the sword, grimacing and groaning at the pain coming from her still bleeding wound.  She jumped up and twisted around in mid air rapidly, grimacing and making a loud painful sound at the back of her throat at the sharp pain from doing that. Dalton’s eyes widened, and tried to do something, but was too late.  A moment later the energy sword sliced cleanly through his neck, and his head flew off - a fountain of blood erupting from his large neck.

Buffy landed, groaning and grabbing her wound.  The head bounced on the floor, and the neck wound on both sides started to glow.  “Xan!” she yelled coming forward as he got up. She grabbed him, supported him, while he did the same for her, and the stumbled away as fast as they could.  A moment later Dalton’s body and head exploded mightily, sending Xander and Buffy hurtling forward and rolling painfully across the hard floor.  Like with Marius, anything of the body that survived the explosion, turned to dust immediately after.

Xander and Buffy rolled to look at the destroyed vampire.  They slowly got up, while the remaining conscious fighters surveyed the scene.  They did the same, noticing the fine sheet of dust everywhere.  Just as they wanted to give a sigh of relief, the sword started to hum and vibrate uncomfortably in Buffy’s hand.  She lifted it up, gave Xander a questioning look, and then her eyes widened.  “Hit the deck!” she called and threw the sword high upward, passed where once was a ceiling and roof.  High in the night sky, the sword suddenly exploded in a blue explosion.

“Ah!” Xander exclaimed as pieces of sword-metal audibly slammed into the ground.  He reached for his right shoulder where one of the pieces had imbedded.  Buffy jerked her head over, hands still covering it.  When she saw he was fine she carefully looked around.  It was over it seemed, and finally sighed in relief.

Deo and Lotion rose with groans as did the witches and Oz.  After a moment of checking if everything was still attached to themselves, they rushed to their downed compatriots.  “We need to call 911, you’re watcher is the worst off,” Deo said.

*****

Xander hadn’t lasted long in the hospital . . . so now Lexa, Willow, Lotion, and Buffy on doing their rounds found themselves with Cordelia.  “You okay, Cordelia?” Lexa asked concerned. Buffy was bandaged up underneath her clothes; but due to her Slayer healing she’d be fine in no time.

“Apart from the lovely new scars, I’m fine,” Cordelia remarked sarcastically.  “If I didn’t already have a boyfriend, that will stay with me forever, marry me one day, and loves me fully, I’d be worried.”

Buffy leaned over toward Lexa and Willow beyond her, whispering, “Good thing Oz isn’t here to hear that; he’d be to half-way to the next state within the hour.”  Buffy and Lexa chuckled.

“What?” Cordelia asked, interrupting her newest diatribe.

“Nothing,” Willow said with the face of an angel.  “Go on.”  As they listened to Cordelia, they went over the casualty list.  Jenny, Lotion and Deo were all but fine.  Cordelia would have to stay in the hospital several days, but was basically okay.  Oz had had a serious bang, but due his werewolf healing he was almost finished healing already.  Willow had had several wounds, but would be okay.  Kendra had gotten more than her fair share; twenty percent of her body had third degree burns; she was still in surgery and had to undergo several skin grafts from other parts of her body.  She had to stay in the body at least a month, the doctors said.  They were wrong, Kendra being a Slayer meant she’d be out within a week, and with no visible damage whatsoever.  Giles had it worst though, most of his ribs front and back were broke or shattered, and he had multiple internal bleeds.  He’d survive though; be stuck in the hospital all through the summer, but he was expected to make an almost full recover.  He’d always notice the injuries when he’d be making certain movements, but he’d be able to do just about anything he wanted: as long as it wasn’t fighting nasty demons.

And so the Scoobies and managed to defeat the Apocalypse again, but only just barely.   Of course, they were unable to defeat Cordy’s ranting, and so it was much later that they finally left the cheerleader’s side.  They sighed in relief that they were gone there.  “Say, Willow, did you know the sword was going to explode?” Buffy asked with a frown, seeing the unpleasant possibility of being blown to bits by the sword.

Willow vigorously shook her head, and answered, “No.  It wasn’t even supposed to turn it into an energy sword.  I guess enchanting an already magica, holy sword does some freaky things.”

“Well, it worked, that’s the important part,” Lexa said with positive air.

“It would have been nicer if the weapon didn’t almost killed us, though,” Buffy replied.

*****

Mayor’s office

“Ah, Allan, since everything is fine, I take it our intrepid kids have stopped our impolite friend from achieving ascension?” Mayor Wilkins asked with a smile as Allan Finch entered his office.

“Actually, no, sir,” Allan Finch answered, scratching his skin nervously.  Wilkins looked over at him with an astonished look.  “They destroyed them anyway, the ascended forms that is, sir,” Finch answered fidgeting.

“Really?” Wilkins said, a dark pensive look crossing his face for a moment.  “Ah, well, Allan, you win some, you lose some.  Send the chief’s winnings to his bank account, will you Allan?”

“Of course, sir,” Allan answered and left the office.

*****

A week later

“Are you sur, you wanna go?” Buffy asked with an uncertain pout.

“I’ll be fine,” Kendra said with a smile.  “I’ll sleep on de plane, and by d time I’m back, all me remaining wounds will be gone.  Slayer healing as you well know.”

The two Slayers gave each other a hug, and then Buffy left the dark Slayer to her friends. Lexa and Willow hugged the girl quickly and fiercely, having gotten to know her while she recuperated in the hospital, and finding they liked her a lot.

“Come back soon,” Willow said with a tear in her eye.

“Yeah, we like you,” Lexa said with a sad grin, “find a way to visit, okay?”

“Will do,” Kendra said with a smile.  Then they broke apart, and waving goodbye, Kendra moved toward the metal detector gate, only to disappear behind it soon after, where only passengers could go.

“You know, all that hugging, almost makes me think I’m not your favorite Slayer anymore,” Buffy said with a sad little pout.  Her ploy worked, for a moment later she was enveloped in a hug from her two best friends.

*****

Two weeks later

Xander was sitting next to Giles in the hospital.  He was still recovering, getting slowly incremental physical therapies to rebuild his body.  Buffy, Willow, and Cordelia were there was well.

“Xander, you are going,” Giles said in a tone that brokered no argument.

Xander stubbornly ignored him, and said, “Giles, you’re in the hospital, I’m not going on vacation while you’re in the hospital.

“Mr. Harris,” Giles spoke formerly and with an even more commanding tone, “I have a girlfriend, an overprotective Slayer, and equally so witch here mothering me all the time.”  Said witch and Slayer made a disapproving sound, but Giles just continued, “I am not in any mortal danger - that is long past.  Trust me when I say, that your presence would only compound my stress, and not give any relief.  Further, you have already booked this ages ago; do not throw your money away, and it is not just a vacation.  You will be visiting a man you’ve come to see as your surrogate father, and one of your best friends.  So, I will thank you kindly when you’re on your way out.”

“But . . .”

“No buts,” Giles interrupted him.

“But . . .”

“Uh!” Willow warned Xander with a raised finger.  When Xander tried again, Willow repeated the gesture.  Finally he sank down accepting it, and said, “Okay then, off to Japan it is, as planned.”

To Be Continued . . .

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