b L u G r L y 86: hey toufu
DuckyOdeath: hello
b L u G r L y 86: how are ya ?
DuckyOdeath: devestated
DuckyOdeath: how about yourself?
DuckyOdeath: :-P
b L u G r L y 86: um..better than devastated
DuckyOdeath: ahhhh well that's good!
DuckyOdeath: i'm havin a nervous breakdown
b L u G r L y 86: yeppp
DuckyOdeath: hahahahha
b L u G r L y 86: what for ?
DuckyOdeath: nah, i'm not hahaha
DuckyOdeath: but i DO need to go somewhere...
b L u G r L y 86: where ?
DuckyOdeath: SOMEWHERE OUT THERE
DuckyOdeath: where nobody is
b L u G r L y 86: awww...why??
DuckyOdeath: cause... my dreams fallin apart on me, again
DuckyOdeath: heheh
DuckyOdeath: gotta go find a new one
DuckyOdeath: ANOTHER new one...
b L u G r L y 86: don't give up on ur dreams!
b L u G r L y 86: no matter how hopeless it seems sometimes...
DuckyOdeath: nah... it's time to go
DuckyOdeath: hahahaa
DuckyOdeath: i know how it goes....... if you TRULY TRULY TRULY
believe it'll happen...... it will
DuckyOdeath: but my dream wont happen
b L u G r L y 86: what is it, then ?
DuckyOdeath: so........ things have to change
DuckyOdeath: what is my dream? or what is the reason for givin up on
it?
b L u G r L y 86: i have no idea
b L u G r L y 86: but if ur askin urself that..
DuckyOdeath: im askin you which one you wanted to know
b L u G r L y 86: ohh
b L u G r L y 86: both
DuckyOdeath: OOOOOOO
b L u G r L y 86: yess
DuckyOdeath: well..... my dream was for pretty much a family utopia....
some crazy happy place where everyone could be together, get along,
have fun and live their own lives but live it TOGETHER.... somethin like
my uncles here and my dad
DuckyOdeath: but BETTER
DuckyOdeath: hahaha
b L u G r L y 86: ohhhh
b L u G r L y 86: haha
DuckyOdeath: but it aint happenin....
b L u G r L y 86: you never know
DuckyOdeath: i KNOW it's not gonna happen
DuckyOdeath: i've been assessing every cousin's personalities for 8
months.... and it aint happenin..
b L u G r L y 86: there's no "meshing" ?
DuckyOdeath: the BEST we could do is half as good as it is now...
DuckyOdeath: ooo there is
DuckyOdeath: but america, or SOMETHIN, has made all of us sooo....
sooo...... antagonistic somewhat... TOO individualistic
DuckyOdeath: we dont work hard enough towards the good of the
group... and work too much towards our own ambitions
DuckyOdeath: things like that... that makes me know that it wont
work...
b L u G r L y 86: ohhh
b L u G r L y 86: yeah...we all flaws...
DuckyOdeath: yes..... and they're all the same
DuckyOdeath: i dont know if you know this or not.... but us vangs...
especially us older ones... we're always saying how our family is the
best... we always stick together, ALWAYS do things together, just
always together basically.... but NO! i dont believe it anymore...
DuckyOdeath: i think that our uncles and aunties are the best... and
we're a pile of SHIT
b L u G r L y 86: what....it's better togetherness than the thaos
b L u G r L y 86: ohhh
b L u G r L y 86: hMmM..
DuckyOdeath: yes yes..... i know it's better than the thaos... but.....
that was part of the "BETTER" that i was talking about
b L u G r L y 86: ohh
DuckyOdeath: we COULD try and ALL mesh together
DuckyOdeath: that would be even better than now
b L u G r L y 86: but....?
DuckyOdeath: but i dont think this generation can even get up to the
togetherness of how we have it now
b L u G r L y 86: ohh
b L u G r L y 86: i suppose
DuckyOdeath: i just have a feeling there's going to be a big rift in the
families soon....
b L u G r L y 86: what do you mean ?
DuckyOdeath: gut feelin inside is tellin me somethin's gonna happen
to begin the breaking apart of the families
b L u G r L y 86: wow...seein what ur sayin and listenin to the sad
piano from FFX is all makin this sad..like the world's gonna end
DuckyOdeath: hahaha
DuckyOdeath: well...... this is why i mold john to be my replacement.....
b L u G r L y 86: it's not like ur gonna die
DuckyOdeath: but im gonna leave
DuckyOdeath: u think i WANTED to go to UTA?? NO!
DuckyOdeath: hahaha
b L u G r L y 86: u didnt ???
DuckyOdeath: i just went there to stay here and take care of the kids
DuckyOdeath: noooo UTA is a joke to me....
b L u G r L y 86: wow....you shouldnt hold urself back bcuz of us
DuckyOdeath: i had credentials to get into stanford or some crap
DuckyOdeath: but i havent given a crap about myself for so long, i
decided to stay!
DuckyOdeath: and you know what i told all the boys that live in
different states!?
DuckyOdeath: i told them we'd all go to UTA together, cause i knew
they could get in
DuckyOdeath: and we could form our little base HERE, just like our
parents did
b L u G r L y 86: aww
b L u G r L y 86: go to stanford
DuckyOdeath: but it aint gonna happen
b L u G r L y 86: ohh
DuckyOdeath: too late now
b L u G r L y 86: what ?
b L u G r L y 86: so ur just goin to stay at uta ?
DuckyOdeath: those UTA marks wont cut it for transfer
DuckyOdeath: ill figure somethin out..... but that aint the point
b L u G r L y 86: oh okies
DuckyOdeath: if john has a good supportin cast.... i think he can do
somethin great here
b L u G r L y 86: who's NOT goin to UTA, then ?
b L u G r L y 86: ohh
DuckyOdeath: probably everybody but rod
b L u G r L y 86: i thot he wanted to go to devry
b L u G r L y 86: ohh
DuckyOdeath: well he still wants to live here
DuckyOdeath: it wasnt about goin to UTA, it was about livin here
b L u G r L y 86: ohhhhh okay
DuckyOdeath: ah well.....
b L u G r L y 86: are u losing hope?.....don't.
DuckyOdeath: maybe it's time to move to thailand like i wanted to last
year
DuckyOdeath: hahahah
DuckyOdeath: LOSING HOPE???
DuckyOdeath: I LOST IT ALREADY!
b L u G r L y 86: what ?!?
DuckyOdeath: hahahaha
b L u G r L y 86: aw..
DuckyOdeath: what really made me mad was those damn cousins of
ours from california....
b L u G r L y 86: huh ?
b L u G r L y 86: who ?
DuckyOdeath: not to sound mean towards the thaos or anything.....
but i just kept thinkin... "that's how the next generations gonna turn
out..."
DuckyOdeath: pao na's kids
b L u G r L y 86: .. .
b L u G r L y 86: who ?
b L u G r L y 86: sorry..
DuckyOdeath: the people who came to visit....
DuckyOdeath: the "ooo i remember magan!"
DuckyOdeath: "you're so big now"
DuckyOdeath: "i used to babysit you"
DuckyOdeath: THOSE FOOLS!
DuckyOdeath: GRRRRRRRR
b L u G r L y 86: ohhhh
b L u G r L y 86: yeah....those ppl are distant
DuckyOdeath: i dont want that with my family.....
b L u G r L y 86: to where there are years since the last meet ?
DuckyOdeath: they're emotionally distant..... blood-wise... they're
RIGHT there
DuckyOdeath: to where you have "family reunions"
DuckyOdeath: so yea....
b L u G r L y 86: uh hm
DuckyOdeath: family "reunions" should be called fridays saturdays
and sundays
b L u G r L y 86: yeah..
DuckyOdeath: and it's not gonna hold with the group "comin into
power"
DuckyOdeath: sorry magan......
DuckyOdeath: i know you wanted to hear all of that hahahaha
b L u G r L y 86: i did
DuckyOdeath: only thing iin the world i'm passionate about... heh...
b L u G r L y 86: well...that's good
DuckyOdeath: WELL! i'm deciding who i can trust... who i can count
on to be my real family
DuckyOdeath: you want in or not? and better think serious about it
DuckyOdeath: think long and hard
b L u G r L y 86: why do i have to think about it ?
DuckyOdeath: cause it takes a concious effort to meet the
expectations i've set...
DuckyOdeath: anybody can be part of a family
DuckyOdeath: but special people make up a special family...
b L u G r L y 86: ohhh
b L u G r L y 86: but what if expectations are not met ?
DuckyOdeath: then it'll be like things are now
b L u G r L y 86: ohh
b L u G r L y 86: when i'm older..can i take part? cuz i kno i'll have
more freedom than i do ,now
DuckyOdeath: heheh
DuckyOdeath: i'll be waiting for you then
b L u G r L y 86: okies
DuckyOdeath: i'll do my part too.... to not be so controlling and GRRR
towards everybody
DuckyOdeath: i havent yelled at you ONCE for saying ok more than
10 times already
b L u G r L y 86: good good !
DuckyOdeath: hahahaha
b L u G r L y 86: oops
b L u G r L y 86: haha
b L u G r L y 86: i didnt notice...
b L u G r L y 86: sorry
DuckyOdeath: it's fine... we kept talkin, didnt we?
b L u G r L y 86: yes we did
DuckyOdeath: well then you can say it as many times as you want to
DuckyOdeath: okokokokkokokook
b L u G r L y 86: okie dokies
DuckyOdeath: thanks magan
b L u G r L y 86: you're welcome
DuckyOdeath: i needed somebody to yell to... and bao wasnt on
DuckyOdeath: heheheh
b L u G r L y 86: ohh hahahah
b L u G r L y 86: i don't mind at all
DuckyOdeath: so when do you expect freedom?
b L u G r L y 86: after i graduate
DuckyOdeath: cali?
b L u G r L y 86: yeah
DuckyOdeath: wooo girl you gonna go crazy over there
DuckyOdeath: hahahah
b L u G r L y 86: i am ?
b L u G r L y 86: haha
DuckyOdeath: well probably.... but you wont have time for us
DuckyOdeath: i promise you that
DuckyOdeath: so maybe AFTER college...
b L u G r L y 86: wow...
b L u G r L y 86: well...alrightey then
b L u G r L y 86: better late than neveR ?
DuckyOdeath: yea......
DuckyOdeath: if ever
b L u G r L y 86: don't worry
DuckyOdeath: big reason i'm concerned about the people now... is i
look at fuyei and my brothers... and the other cousins their age.... and i
dont trust their commitments..
DuckyOdeath: and then i look at the cousins MY age... i trust all their
commitments... but there's little ambition in any of us
DuckyOdeath: it's like you can only have 1 side... not both
DuckyOdeath: and the cousins YO age....... you guys are already
messed up enough... hahhahahaha
DuckyOdeath: K! ENOUGH TALKING!
b L u G r L y 86: whawt..hahhah
b L u G r L y 86: i guess we are..
DuckyOdeath: well you guys arent personally messed up, but you're
all so spread out and each of you are limited in accessibility
b L u G r L y 86: that's true
b L u G r L y 86: well..i have to go to sleep, now
b L u G r L y 86: i'll talk to ya later
b L u G r L y 86: bye
DuckyOdeath: goodnight
