suck it, baby.
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don't say i didn't warn you...

!DISCLAIMER!

ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the disclaimer. that's right, the disclaimer.

this american apple pie institution, known as parental discretion, will cleanse any sense of innuendo or sarcasm from the content that might actually make you think and will also insult your intelligence at the same time.

so protect your family! this website contains explicit depictions of things which are real. these real things are commonly known as life.

so if it sounds sarcastic, don't take it seriously.
if it sounds dangerous, do not try this at home or at all.
and if it offends you, just don't read it.