I remember it like it was yesterday
the sound of glass breaking makes me tremble,
what was a tragic accident. and the consquences I paid for it.
I have always been a wild kid, always in trouble,
my dad was abusive to me. but he was still my dad either way.
so even tho he treated me like trash, deep down I loved him.
we got along sometimes was very rare.
I have 3 siblings. 2 sisters and a brother, all during our
youth we fused and fought, Sometimes my little brother wondered
if I even liked him.

I was kinda guy that didnt show affection always treated him like dirt.
cause he was small, and he was "daddy boy". He was smart one
Dad loved him spent most his time with him.
He's was a good kid, didnt drink or party, mostly studied.
I guess I was always kinda jealous, he was so smart and
made good grades, and dad treated him like a prince and me like a
slave. dont worry we had are good times to
we were justt like regular brothers. typical brotherly stuff.
But you really dont know how much a brother means to you
when you think his life is almost over because of you.
and the choice that you made carries with you
through your life.

I made a stupid mistake one night, one that was careless, and one
that till this day, I pay for. When I see my brother I see a reminder
of what I did.
When Ryan was a senior, he was about to graduate, he was 1st in his class
going to College.
For his graduation present I decided to take him out,
first we went to eat, then I took him to a party.
I was just tryin show him some good time yanno, he never partied
so I took him.. of course he didnt drink.
But I did.. I drinked alot back then Keg parties I was there.
I was very drunk that night and he was ready to go home
so we left the party and he asked me to give him the keys,
I told him no "I'll drive, get in the car " So we got in the car
started driving down road few ways, I was waisted, I couldnt see
much and my head was spinning, next thing I know the car is spinning
out of control and we hit a tree, I can hear windows crashing, had no
airbags.. I was awake I looked over to my brother, my little brother
he wasnt moving, he was bleeding, I couldnt get him to wake up. I could reach his wrist
I felt a pulse but I couldnt do nothin about it, cause I couldnt move
myself. then I blacked out.

When I woke up I was in the Hospital, I suffered a broken arm, some broken ribs
and my face was mess up from hittin stirring wheel. not to mention a hang over
I was throwing up. When the doc came in he let me go and see my brother , he was in bad shape
he still hadnt woke up. He was hooked up to all kinda a machines,
I couldnt even remember how we got there, and the doc told me.
I broke down started crying, thinking that should be me laying there
not him. I went up to my brothers bed and
I couldnt even speak, cause I new it was me that he was there
lying there fighting for his life. I put him there.
Couple hrs later my folks came in to where I was, my father
looked at me he started kickin me, and punching me, telling me
I was a low life bastard, that didnt deserve to live.
he told he never wanted to see me again, he told me never come to house
call or do anything that involves his family again.
He was always a bastard to me anyway, I didnt care for seein him again
but my mom never said a word.
of course I got arrested, got dui, got lic takin away, and I was put on
probation and doing community service.

MY brother was almost paralized from waiste down, he missed graduation,
he went to rehab tryin learn how to walk again. It took him awhile
but he did and went to college a yr after he graduated.
From then until 4years ago, My life went down hill,
I drank more, quit college, got deep into my drinking.
and all the time I was drinking the only thing
I could ever do was remember the accident, see when your at the point where
your about to die, the memory gets worse, you remember things better
then you do when you sober, why that is I dunno, but the more
I thought about it the more I drinked.

"It was my fault, not my brothers, not the boos, was mine
I chose to drink, I chose to get in car, I chose to drive, and I payed the
consquences. Now when I see my brother I see a reminder,
cause he could walk but the scars on his face just a reminder of what I caused.
I owe that boy his life, he forgave me couple years ago
and I was happy but I still felt terrible, cause I havent forgivin
myself. I probably never will. Its something I have to live with
and I pray to God that none of you have to go through it.
Please becareful, those of you that dont drink and your with
someone who is and keeps insisting on driving. Let him or her have the keys
try your best to keep them away from em. but if they resist, do not get in car
PLEASE STAY OUT OF THE CAR.... My message for those that are innocent and who is
with a drunk driver. Stand your ground, dont back down, if he or she dont care about there life thats there decision, only you can make the decision to get in the car. Sometimes I wonder why he got in car with me, the only thing I know is he was worried and scared, or he was scared for me he wanted to see me get home allright, and he didnt know what to do. maybe he made the wrong decision to, but not his fault its MINE. all I'm sayings is. dont drive drunk and dont get in car with someone driving drunk... please..

Your life is precious, You only get once chance at it.
so make the right decisions.
I was lucky, My brother lived, I lived.. and I didnt kill anyone else.
But dont think for a second that "It won't happen to me" cause it can
and it will. if you drive drunk. Im livin proof, that it can happen.
Please if your had even one beer, please I ask you give the keys to
someone else. or call a cab. Its not worth it.
I didnt realize how much I loved my brother until I saw him lying there,
in hospital bed.

You dont realize what you have, until it almost gets taken away from you,
I got lot "things" takein away from me. but I eventually got my lic back,
and got off probation, and so on. but I woulda never gotten my
brother back if he got taken away to.
So please think before you get behind wheel. Dont think only of yourself
but all others thats in the car with you, and also think of the others thats in other cars aswell.
TY and God BLESS..

Brotherly Love
This not my type a music but this page is about me and my brother. I can have all friends I want. Only have one brother if I lost him, If I had killed him, Id killed myself to. I love him very much. only recently we found out we half brothers but hes my brother, none the less.. brothers cant replace.. love ya brother watch out for each other you all you have..smile..