Isaiah 64:8 - Yet,O Lord, you are our Father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.
To begin, I must state that I was raised in a home
where there was plenty of love. Whether or not I
was loved was never in question. And I was encouraged
to be involved in the church. But that had little to
do with what I'm about to say. You may not want to
know this information, if you have stumbled upon it
let me warn you that it is intensely personal.
In the winter of 1979, while I was attending
college, I found myself one evening in a terrible
state of depression. The details of how I got there
are irrelevant, the point is that I had arrived at one
of the most crucial crossroads of my life.
As I stood in front of the mirror in my dorm room,
staring at my face, I held a lit cigarette in one hand
and a razor blade pressed against my neck in the other.
I said to God, "God, by the time I finish this
cigarette, give me a reason to live." Strangely enough
I did not feel as if He had answered my prayer,I only
felt tired. I decided to go to bed, I could kill
myself the next day.
As time went on and the days went by, I found
myself actually listening to the previously annoying
kids from Campus Crusades. They told me about,
"knowing Jesus as my saviour" and,"having a personal
relationship with Jesus." Not that I hadn't been told
all of this before, but now I actually heard it.
Even so, I was not yet ready to give my life to
Jesus. To me that was a very private decision, made
not by the constant attention of others, but by time
alone in prayer and communication with God. And
unlike so many other people I am not able to give a
date of my salvation, it was established over a period
of time, little by little. But I assure you that it
is renewed often.
I have two points in this testimony. First of
all, what a tragedy it would have been had I gone
through with the suicide. I am such a happy and
blessed person. Most importantly, I have a wonderful
family and a close relationship with God. It all
seemed so hopeless that evening in 1979, there was no
chance that I could ever be happy again. If I had
ended my life I would have missed out on so much.
Secondly, I did nothing to deserve or reserve this
second chance at life. It was all by the Grace of
God. He knew me and He chose to save me!
Have you accepted the relationship that Jesus
Christ is offering you?
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