Katie's Story
I am sooo sorry, I have been so neglectful of Katie's site
I looked at it again today for the first time in a long
time. And let me tell you all I am extremely ashamed of
myself. I should've updated it way before now. But it has
honestly been five years since I last updated this page.
That is horrible!!! I wish someone had told me just
how bad it was. I promise I will try to do better. I have
been soo busy with everything else, that I've neglected
this. So please take another look at Katie's site,
I promise it should look much neater and links may even work !!
Take Care and God Bless~~Cindy C Dye
Last Updated 08/06/06
This is the story of Alyssa Katelynn Dye:
My precious Katie Bug
This was very happy news for me, however at the same
time it was also very scary. I had one child that is very
healthy. His name is Shawn; he's 9 yrs. old now. When Shawn
was 1.5 years old I became pregnant for the second
time. I just assumed that it would turn out like the first
one and that everything would be fine with that baby too.
I was wrong, very wong. That pregnancy ended in miscarriage
at 12 weeks.
was very nervous for the first three months. When I was
5-9 months everything was going so wonderful and routine
that everyone told me that I was silly to keep worrying
about something going wrong. Maybe it was silly but I just
couldn't shake the feeling that something wasn't right. As
time went on though, I was convinced that I was just
being paranoid.
any day now and everything was still textbook.
I went to the Dr. on June 22,99.Everything
was still good news. The baby's heartbeat was fine and strong
and healthy. My mom and I went shopping that afternoon.
I felt a relly weird kick and stopped to rub my stomach.
My mom asked if I was all right and I said of course I
was and we carried on.
thought to myself "Great this is the first sign of
labor so that means that it's about time." In a way I
was glad but in a way I was scared too. I had a sense
that something wasn't right anymore, that something was
wrong now. I couldn't explain it but I just felt weird.
I told my mother-in-law that night that I was getting
worried, I hadn't felt the baby move all day. She said
I probably had and was just too busy to notice. Besides
she said, they always slow down alot right before they're born.
birthday (she had passed away 5 yrs. earlier), everyone
was hoping that maybe I'd have the baby on her birthday.
So was I. But again this day Katie still wasn't moving. I
hadn't felt her move since the kick that truly rocked
my world. I was hoping others were right and that
she was just slowing down and getting ready to be
born. At this point I was very anxious and beginning
to panic. By that morn. I was beside myself with worry.
I called the Dr.s office and they set up a stress test
at the hospital. For some reason, right before I left
I decided to go by and get my best friend Jerri to go with
me. (She had given birth to a daughter that was still
born 25 yrs. earlier -June 22, 1974- on her own birthday.)
to try and get the baby's heartbeat. This time they
got nothing. The nurse said she did, but I knew she
didn't.
The nurse left and came back a few minutes later
and said I had to have an ultrasound. The technician
never said a word. If he were a poker player he'd be a
sure bet. They sent me back to my room without saying
a word. All they would say is that the Dr. would be with me soon.
had him come down there. I apologized to him for getting
him off work early. I even told him he could go back
if he needed to. At 3:45 p.m. the doctor walked in,
sat at the foot of my bed, put his hand on my leg and
said the words I'll never forget, he said:"Sweetie, I've
got some really terrible news for you,
YOUR LITTLE ONE HAS PASSED AWAY!"
he said she had tied her umbilical cord in a knot(like you
would tie in a rope). I thought I would die. I think
secretly I wanted to. The next thing I knew I hear
someone scream Danny's name. I dont know if it was me
or Jerri or one of the nurses. All I knew was that he
was there right beside me and wouldn't let go, and I didn't
want him to. I kept telling him it wasn't suppose to end this way.
She was suppose to come home with us. I was suppose to
have my little girl with me. Shawn, Oh my God, what
are we going to tell him? He's expecting a little
sister not this. How will he handle it? She's Danny's
parents first grandbaby. How will we ever tell them
what's happened? My parents, how can I look at my mom
and dad and tell them that Katie's dead?
tell anyone. Other people did that for us. In a
way I was grateful. In my room though I knew everytime
they told someone because I'd hear their screams
and cries. Then after a while they'd be in my room
hugging and crying and praying that the doctors were
wrong and knowing that they weren't. The next day
they induced my labor and three and a half hours later
at 12:00 noon Alyssa Katelynn Dye entered this world
and the hearts of everyone in her family, and even the
doctors and nurses. She weighed 6lb 15.5 oz and was 21.5
in. long. She was a beautiful baby.
the tears of joy and the sounds of a crying baby, there
were the cries of grandparents that would never
know the joy of knowing their granddaughter. There were
the tears of pain and agony and grief that would never
totally go away, only fade a little as the years pass.
Tears of never hearing her say I love you, or mommy,
or daddy or even seeing what color eyes she has. There
were tears of aunts and uncles that had been arguing
over who would be the first to get her to spend the
night with them. There were tears of a mother,from 25
yrs. earlier, who was finally able to say goodbye to
her own daughter and her "neice" as well. There were
so many tears. Tears that would fill an ocean.
few weeks are pretty fuzzy. I think I went through the
motions of an everyday life. I just wasn't right though.
I wanted and needed to talk about Katie so bad, but no
one would let me because I might cry. I finally told
my mom that it's o.k. I wanted to cry for her and
I needed to cry for her.
my "Katie Bug". I don't care if it's been 108,000
months, nothing will ever dim the candle of love that
I carry for her. I will, however miss what should have
been her life. I think about what it would have been
like the first time she walked, the first time she
said mama or daddy, the first day of school, her first
boyfriend, the first time she got her heart broke
by a boy that her father swears he's gonna kill. I want
to plan her wedding with her, and become a grandmother
by her too. I never got to do a lot of things new parents
take for granted. I would give anything to have to get
up in the middle of the night to feed her, or change
her, or just because she thought it was playtime and I
should be up too. I wanted so much for her to live
and prosper and most of all be happy and healthy;
but now all of that is just a dream. There are very
few people out there who can say they've seen an angel,
not only do I know what an angel looks like but I got
to touch and hold one too. I love my Katie Bug
and nothing will ever change that;
not even death.
Email Mommy @ CindyMDye@yahoo.com