| Ways that D/s has helped me to grow by ~dancer |
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Humility is the first way I have grown. The exercises practiced in D/s often help me to
become more humble. I do not react as quickly and have learned to bite my tongue. I refrain from
biting comments, at least publicly, that I used to refer to as "teasing." We do joke and play a lot,
but I have learned that I do not have to be the one who has to have the last word, or the better
comment - especially when it's a smart ass one.
D/s has given me a lot of freedoms i never had. When one surrenders or gives up one's
power to another, it takes a lot of the stresses of life and certain responsibilities off. They go with
the power. Decision making is no longer difficult. When in a D/s relationship, I have someone to
ask, no matter how trivial the question. I have gained the freedom to be very "simple". I am no
longer the one who has to figure everything out. I have gained a tremendous amount of sexual
freedom. I no longer feel guilty about my sexuality, no matter how "strange" a fantasy I may have.
I have learned to be much more sexual, and the BDSM has been quite an education in itself :). I
have also increased my pain tolerance level, and this gives me great security, along with feeling
that I have pleased.
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My self esteem has improved. I have learned that it is okay not to be perfect and that learning new things is not something to be ashamed of. Another area where D/s has helped me to grow is in handling my children. I am no longer a "softy" although I still have a big heart. I am much more consistent in teaching them manners and good behavior. I no longer let things "slide" a lot. If I say, "Do this.....", I make sure it gets done now. D/s has taught me how to communicate more openly and honestly. I used to think I was very honest, and sometimes even blunt about it, but since entering into this lifestyle I have learned much, much deeper levels of honesty and how to communicate much more thoroughly than ever before. It is often the little things that go unsaid in relationships that do the most damage and cause resentment. No matter how trivial it may seem, carrying things from the past into our present with us, is a a no-no. This is a great freedom in itself. My overall efficiency in doing things and getting things done has improved. I am more motivated, when I know that there is an immediate price to pay for laziness. Things I used to use as "reasons", I have learned really were excuses after all. Through this lifestyle, much of the past is being worked through and released for me. Some of the old ghosts are gone, and can haunt me no more. The inner rage from previous emotional abuse and turmoil has been calmed a lot. In other words, I am learning to forgive those who have hurt me in the past. 
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