Welcome to my crapintosh zone
This site wasn't made with a mac
(it was made with a computer)
here are some funny pictures
Mr. smiley found out that all these years he was advertising for macs. :-(
apple in its true form
now i see why they call it a crapintosh
mac's revolutionary new prototype pretty soon they keypads will be labeled.
ahh what could be better then a burnt mac. a blown up on possibly.
Technichal Reasons to Hate Macs
1.One mouse button, less functions
2.Some Macs have monitors built in to the machine, bad if you need to replace or upgrade the monitor
3.Hardly any software available for Macs compared to software available to PCs
4.Hardly any hardware available for Macs compared to hardware available to PCs
5.Existing hardware/software for Mac is usually very costly
6.Macs themselves are very overpriced
7.Macs are at a huge disadvantage for business uses
8.Only one choice of operating system
9.Almost all drive additions are external
10.No such thing as an "internal modem" with a Mac
11.Most software you will probably buy for a Mac is from a mail order catalog(pay shipping, wait)
12.The subject of games on a Mac is a frontier larger than America in 1492
13.Market share of Macs is extremely low, and declining (That means Mac users are an endangered
species)
14.Fewer ports behind a Mac, can't add most ports via expansion cards
15.Far less Mac developers compared to the amount of PC developers(Probably more Java developers than
Mac)
16.Few ISPs provide access for Macs
17.The "IBM-Compatible" Macs were the most sorry excuse for a clone
18.No such thing as a visible file extension for a Mac
19.Automatic eject floppy drive works very illogically, manual button much simpler
20.Many public schools are shifting from Macs to PCs, less market share, but smarter kids
21.Macs take forever to boot up
22.PowerBooks catching fire
23.Can't have wallpaper backgrounds
24.Macs have slower CD-ROM drives(Even high end Macs come with 4x, and PC users can enjoy 12x and
soon DVD)
25.There just plain ugly computers (if thats what you call them)
26.Macs lack preemptive multitasking
27.The Mac OS is 12 years old
28.Apple is in terrible financial condition
29.Apple related companies are also floundering
Philosophical Reasons to Hate Macs
1.Mac users are easily offended (No doubt about this one)
2.Little babies like Macs (corny kid software abundant)
3.Most rich snobs use Macs
4.Any computer that smiles at you can't be good
5.If you make a computer that morons can use, only morons will want to use it
6.The Apple Macintosh logo is a rainbow-striped fruit, suggesting....
7.Squishy Bearz hate Macs
8.Macs have a reputation as the "Family Computer" (Blegh)
9.Dave Thomas (Satan) uses a Mac to record all of his junior bacon cheeseburgers sold (15 so far)
10.Your friends (if any) will mock you for owning a Mac
"Why macs suck"
Macs Macs they really suck,
I think they're only worth a buck
Macs Macs they're so stupid,
They can't be loved, not even by cupid
Macs Macs they're so bad,
They were just a passing fad
Macs Macs they're so slow,
They should get some turbo
Macs Macs the reason they fell,
Is because of Intel
Macs Macs they're like a mime,
Only funny the first time
Macs Macs they're like a baby,
Small, annoying, and drive you crazy
Macs Macs they're only good,
If you hit them with some wood
Macs Macs just give it up,
Soft Windows really sucked
Macs Macs you're so sucky,
I've had more fun with a rubber ducky
If your home and got a Mac,
Please to God just take it back
-Artin Bastani
Top 10 reasons why MAC users prefer macs.
1)They can't handle the trauma of having to deal with TWO mouse buttons.
2)They Figure anything that costs this much, just has to be the best.
3)Having to push a button to eject a floppy disk is just way too much work.
4)Membership in the "Overpriced Software Club" has it's priviliges.
5)Its a status symbol.
6)Flowers on the keys and smiley faces on the screen makes 'em feel so special.
7)Macs require no thinking and a minimum of motor skills.
8)Apple said MACS unpack, connect and install all new hardware by themselves.
9)Those Apple ads about "dip switches" and "dos CD-ROMS" really scared 'em.
10)Apple gives them choices: [A] Pay extra for a Keyboard or [B] Don't get one.
Top 28 uses for a crapintosh
1.)Target Practice
2.)Punching Bag
3.)Paper Weight
4.)Boat Anchor
5.)Brick
6.)Anvil
7.)Speed Bump
8.)Road Block
9.)Foot-Rest
10.)They make wonderful lawn ornaments
11.)They are recyclable
12.)Great for when you can't find a football
13.)Toilet paper gone?
14.)Loads netscape so slow your inlaws will never come back
15.)You can beat your brother over the head with the keyboard
16.)If you kick them hard enough, they beep a lot
17.)Ash Tray
18.)Door stop
19.)Break the monitor, and use it to put things in it.
20.)Break other macs with it
21.)Use it as a spare tire
22.)Melt it, and sell the plastic
23.)Fire Wood
24.)Use the mac's cpu chip as a comb
25.)Something to hold your car up when you don't have a jack
26.)Trash can (Although it Comes with trash in it,....mac users call it macintosh chips)
27.)Coffee table
28.)Chair
send your comments & questions to lombadamy@hotmail.com
