| A friend decided he'd had enough danger,war,and excitement to last a lifetime,so he put up his weapons,and bought a pig farm. He didn't know the first thing about it,but he thought,"How difficult can it be?You get a few pigs,and some feed,and let nature take its course". So he went into town;looking for a seller of pigs,and bought six of the finest you'd ever seen.The man had even given him a fair deal.The catch was that they were all sows,but,my friend,the new farmer,didn't know this at the time... He took his pigs back to his farm,where he had a nice fenced in place already built for them,and after feeding them,he sat on his porch with a contented smile,and thought,"This is the easiest thing I've ever done"... Here's where Murphy's law comes into play,for little did he know that a huge wild boar lived in the woods nearby. This boar was the meanest,largest,hog;and what's more;he hadn't seen a sow in a very long time!..Need I say more?..I thought not... No sooner had the farmer retired for the night,but he was awakened by the most racket,and squealing you can imagine.He jumped out of bed,and ran outside only to be facing what appeared to be a large boulder;that is,until it turned around,and the moonlight glinted off tusks like daggers,and little red eyes that anyone could tell weren't friendly. As soon as the boar saw him,it charged,and only good reflexes saved my friend.He jumped up on the nice new fence he'd made,thinking,"What have I got myself into"!... The boar hit the fence,full force,tearing it down,and knocking the man off right onto its back!... This only made him angrier,and he raced into the woods,with all the man's sows following,and him holding on for dear life! They ran on for miles,with the farmer getting scraped,bumped,and bruised by anything in their path.Finally he fell off,but the boar didn't stop to gore him,seeing as how he had six fine sows,and other things on his mind... As the sun came up the next day,my friend limped out of the woods;battered,and bleeding from a dozen or so cuts,and the wildest expression on his face. He immediately went in the house;dressed;packed his shoulder bag,and grabbed up his sword,and spear from the corner,and went off to fight in the nearest battle he could find!...He lived to be an old man,with children and grandchildren by the score. When they asked him what was the greatest battle he'd ever fought all he would say was"The Pig Farm",and quickly change the subject! |
