Date sent: Thu, 27 Nov 1997 15:18:43 -0500 (EST) From: StevensToy@aol.com Subject: Aardvarks and Persimmon Cookies II: Frisbees and Hairthings By Heather S TITLE: Aardvarks and Persimmon Cookies II: Frisbees and Hairthings AUTHOR: Heather S. SPOILERS: None! CONTENT: Humor, humor! RATING: G SUMMARY: A boring day, continued. Mulder and Scully play Office Frisbee and get some excercise after eating too many persimmon cookies. Skinner gets mad, and fruitcakes go flying in all directions. Fun for the whole family! XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Mulder yawned in pure, utter, unadulterated boredom. Even though he and Scully had been playing word games all morning, there was still nothing to do. It was the last day at work before their Christmas holiday, and there were no aliens or monsters in the holiday spirit for them to investigate. As a matter of fact, *nothing* was going on in the Bureau today. Even the copiers were still, their usually constant noise providing a comfortable background against which to work. But today, the entire building felt like a tomb: dismal, silent, and that wasn't even in the basement. Mulder felt like he was being suffocated. "Hey, Scully...do you want to play another game?" Mulder asked, eating some more persimmon cookies that Scully's mother had sent with her that morning. "No more word games, Mulder...I've had quite enough of your *words* for one morning," she said, recalling an incident that morning when Mulder said nothing in the game of Free-Association but `aardvark'. "But this time, I mean a *real game.* Look what I picked up at lunch," he said, pulling a brown paper bag out from under his desk. Scully had been wondering what he had carried in with him, but dismissed it as Christmas presents for someone. He opened the bag, making the paper crackle, and brought forth a large, orange plastic Frisbee and some multi-colored modeling clay. "See?" Scully opened her eyes wide. "Wow, Mulder. I haven't seen a Frisbee in years! Where did you find it?" "There's a toy store that just opened around the corner, and I decided to go in and have a look. And I found these, so I bought them. Thought I might liven things up around here." he tossed the Frisbee to her experimentally, a little bit wobbly, and to his surprise she caught it easily and threw it back, perfectly straight and directly to him. "Scully? Ms. forensics doctor can play Frisbee?" Scully gave him the scornful ScullyGlare and said haughtily "what else do you think forensic pathologists do on their time off? Read? Play the lute? Fish?" Mulder grinned. "No, I just thought that Frisbee was too good for you." he tossed it back to her, and soon they were engaged in a lively game of Desk Frisbee, the rules of which they made up as they went along. Their throws became wilder and wilder as they both laughed harder and harder, and finally Mulder threw a hard one out over Scully's left field and she fell out of her chair onto the ground trying for it. "Ooof," she grunted as she landed half in the wastebasket, spilling papers all over her. *Good thing I didn't land in Mulder's basket,* she thought, looking over at his can, which contained old bits of cheese, rice patties and the remains of an alien fetus that had fallen off his desk a few months ago. *Ew.* Huffing and puffing, still full from all the persimmon cookies, she tried to get up, but couldn't. Mulder watched her in amusement while molding some sort of phallic symbol out of the modeling clay. "Mulder, can you help me up?" "Why don't you ask Mr. Clay Head to help you up?" Mulder said, showing her his creation. It bore a slight resemblance to a human body, but one with no arms and no legs. The only human feature was a very long nose that protruded from the figure like a huge carrot. Scully was amazed. What was Mulder doing, reverting back to his childhood state? "Mulder, I WILL NOT ask your piece of clay to help me up off the ground. It's degrading and utterly stupid." "You're going to hurt his feelings," Mulder frowned, cuddling the little clay thing closer like a miniature teddy bear. A phallic-shaped teddy bear. Scully sighed. "Could you PLEASE help me up, Mulder?" she asked, still trying on her own but too full from her cookie feast. "Ask him." Frowning, Scully thought about it for a minute. Either she could stay there on the cold ground, or she could maybe wiggle her way to the door and ask someone passing by. But who would be passing by in the basement? A rat? A cockroach? Santa Claus? So, she closed her eyes and asked in a very polite tone, "Mr. Clay man, could you help me up off the ground? I ate too many cookies and I can't move." Mulder stood and walked over to her solemnly. He held the clay thing out to her and said, "Here. He'll help you now." And he put the thing in Scully's hands. "Mulder, aren't you going to help me?" "You asked for Mr. Clay Man, not me." "AAARGH!" Scully screamed, doing her best Charlie Brown imitation. Mulder must have been impressed, because he picked her up bodily and set her on he desk. And then he grabbed the hairbow that she wore in her hair and went running away to the other side of the office with it. "Ha, ha...I got your hairbow!" he crowed, laughing like an annoying child. "You give that back!" "Make me!" So Scully heaved herself up off the desk and trotted after him slowly. He darted and weaved in and out of the filing cabinets and hid behind a surfboard that had been sitting there ever since the X-files had been opened. Mulder secretly believed that it was Skinner's and he hid it down there because the A.D. couldn't be seen with one in HIS office. Scully caught up to him, but Mulder raced out into the hall and down the long corridor. Scully was getting madder every minute. Why was Mulder being such a BRAT!?!?! She couldn't believe that he had taken her hairthing. Partners weren't supposed to steal your hairthings...that was in the Bureau regulations, right along with that `consorting' thing. "Mulder, you're breaking laws here," she called out, puffing down the hall, but it didn't faze him a bit. She kept going, and was gaining ground fast, because Mulder had stopped to put the hairthing in his own hair. "Woo-hoo!" he called, sporting the large red bow on top of his head like a cocker spaniel, "look at me, Scully!" Scully was about a foot from him when he took off and ran full-speed around the corner. Right smack into Assistant Director Skinner, who was carrying several fruitcakes in his hands. The fruitcakes went all over the hall, and the fruitcake Mulder tumbled to the ground on top of Skinner. Scully, rounding the corner as fast as her little legs could carry her, fell over both of them heavily. Very heavily. Skinner, pinned under the two agents, was understandably angry when he extricated himself and saw Mulder with the bow on his head, and Scully, still stuffing cookies in her mouth. "What are you two DOING?" he shouted, frowning at both of them. "Eating persimmon cookies," Scully replied. "Dancing," Mulder said, pirouetting around the A.D. with the bow flying to and fro. "Well, you're both in trouble. Maybe I don't want to know what you two were really doing, but I'm going to have to assign you something to do." "Noooo! Not the filing!" Mulder cried, giving his little puppy-dog face. "Worse," the A.D. replied. "Manual labor. You two are going to scrub the main entrance hall of the Bureau, great seal and all. You can find the buckets and the mops in the janitor's closet down the hall. Now, GET MOVING!!!!" And with that, he collected his fruitcakes and proceeded down the hall. Mulder frowned at Scully. "I don't want to scrub the hall." "Too bad, Mulder. You got us into this, so I'm going to make you do most of it." "But Scully, what are you going to do?" "I think I'll eat some persimmon cookies for now, and polish my nails later. Look at it this way, Mulder: at least you aren't going to be bored." ~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~% THE END Well, how was it? Should I go ahead and write the third installment? Feedback is appreciated, even though it's a one-parter!!!!!!! I'll send you some virtual persimmon cookies!!! Either hit reply, or for those without it, send e-mail to: If you need the first part, e-mail me! P.S. Send me some feedback for my birthday--December 1st!!!!!