Date sent: Tue, 11 Nov 1997 23:34:58 -0500 (EST) From: StevensToy@aol.com Subject: Aardvarks and Persimmon Trees, (1/1) By Heather S. TITLE: Aardvarks and Persimmon Trees (1/1) First installment of the "Workday Blues" series. AUTHOR: Heather S. RATING: G CONTENT: H SUMMARY: Mulder and Scully play Free-Association during a day of boredom. Mulder's answers shock Scully. %~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~% "Scully, I'm bored," Mulder whined for the fifth time that hour, his mouth full of persimmon cookies that Scully's mother had sent with her that morning for an early Christmas treat. "I'm sorry, Mulder...why don't you organize the filing cabinet? That'll take your mind off the boredom." Scully looked pointedly at the space designated for the filing cabinet, but there was such a mess of paper and manila folders that one couldn't tell if there was a cabinet there at all. Mulder looked at her, shocked. "Scully! You know that my motto is `The Truth is out there", and that means that I can't clean any filing cabinets, ever." Mulder himself looked slightly puzzled at this new interpretation of his favourite saying, but nodded enthusiastically anyway. "But, what if the truth is really in *there*, Mulder, hiding in one of your files? Maybe you put it in there by mistake one morning. Filed under `tooth' by mistake. You never know." Scully shoved a cookie in her mouth and turned back to the expense report that she was attempting to type up, and Mulder's face fell. He wanted attention. "Scully?" Mulder asked, hopeful. "WHAT, Mulder?" "Do you wanna play a game?" "A Game?" asked Scully. "We don't have any good games here anymore, not since Skinner took them all away last year when he caught us playing Battleship when we were supposed to be in his office for a meeting." "It's not my fault that you play so slow." Scully was outraged. "I'm not SLOW, I merely plan a strategy." Sure you do, Scully, but not that kind of game. A WORD game." Scully's ears perked up. She bet that she could whip Mulder at any word game ever invented. "Okay, Mulder, what game do you want to play? 20 Questions? Paragon?" "Nope: Free-Association." "That's not a game, Mulder...that's something you do with a psychologist." Mulder smiled wickedly. "Then just consider it some free therapy. I'll start." "Go for it," Scully said, doubtful. "Here's the first word: Revolution." "Washing machine." Mulder looked at Scully. "Huh? How did you get `washing machine' from `revolution'?" "A washing machine turns in revolutions...spins. And I thought that Free-Association was a game in which you didn't question the other person's answers?" Mulder hung his head as he took the opportunity to cram two persimmon cookies in his mouth at once. "Sorry, Scully. Your turn." Scully thought a minute, then smiled. "Persimmon tree." "Aardvark." Scully's eyebrow ascended far into her hairline, but didn't say anything. Mulder said, "Handcuffs." "Bondage." *Hey, maybe there's still hope for you yet, Mulder,* he told himself, grinning lasciviously. Scully said, "Utopia." "Aardvark." Once again, the eyebrow rose, but Scully managed to keep her cool. She was rapidly becoming annoyed at Mulder. He couldn't play anything right, and he even cheated at Battleship. Mulder said, "Auto-erotic asphyxiation." Scully just sighed, and Mulder took that as an answer. Scully said, determinedly, "Veneration." "Aardvark." "Mulder!!" Scully finally burst out, "why do you keep saying `Aardvark?" "That's the first thing that came to mind when you said those words." He grinned, making Scully frown in impatience. "And you aren't suppose to question my answers, Ms. Hypocrite." "Mulder, you can't be serious. How can you get `aardvark' from `veneration'? "Maybe the same way that you got `washing machine' from `revolution'. Our minds work differently. Cookie?" Scully shook her head and sighed. "But why is it ALWAYS aardvark? Why not `dodo' or `macaw'? Why AARDVARK?" Scully's face was flushed, and she seemed annoyed by the whole thing. Mulder was having a ball. "Well, Scully, did you ever wonder why `aardvark' has two A's instead of one? It doesn't really need it, and I think that I've figured out why there are two A's in aardvark." "Do I really want to hear this?" "You will anyway. Well, I've concluded that the reason aardvark is spelled with two A's is that the person who discovered it would always be mentioned first in all of the dictionaries and encyclopedias in the world. You know....sort of a vanity thing. It's a conspiracy. And I can't stop thinking about it." Scully was astonished. "So is this how you spend your time? Thinking of trivial things like that?" "It all depends on what you call `trivial'" Mulder said, smirking. Cookie?" Scully shook her head, and Mulder popped another persimmon cookie into his mouth, ending the discussion. %~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~%~ THE END Well, was it sufficiently awful? I hope so, I got the idea for the title first and worked my way from there. A second part of the "Workday Blues" series is coming soon! Stay tuned, folks! By the by, send some FEEDBACK, even though it's only a one-parter. Please?