World Famous Movie Review Hell

World Famous Movie Review Hell

Academy Awards 2002 ~ Well the Benscyte disagrees with almost all the Oscars given out this year so here are the BenScytes picks of what should have been. To correct any wrongs we hand out the Dead Carp Awards.

Best Picture Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring

Best Director Peter Jackson Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring

Best Actor Tom Wilkinson In The Bedroom

Best Actress Halle Berry Monsters Ball.

Best Supporting Actor Ian McKellan Lord of the Rings: Fellowship of the Ring

Best Supporting Actress Maggie Smith Gosford Park

We thank all the Dead Carp winners this year

3-11-02 Resident Evil

A much better movie then it should have been. Not nearly as gory as it should have been. Michelle Rodriguez was great and Milla Jovovich was good too in the title roles. But the supporting cast was kinda gimpy and the movie ended up being terribly predictable. They wasted the team in it and wasted the evil super computer and did a horrible job making the virus seem world destroying even though it was. It was a good concept for a movie from a shooter game but it lacked depth and the plot falls apart but it give it 2 and one half dead carp on the normal 1 to 5 scale.

3-7-02 Ice Age

Great little movie. Its a bit graphic for younger kids with the suicidal do-do's and the end of the movie too. but ray Romano, John Leguismo( hell i can't spell it) Dennis Leary and Jack Black were all great as voiced. By far the best animation ever. The attention to detail was amazing. If you don't wanna see the movie you should go just for the backgrounds and textures they really were amazing. ( note I've intentionally not said it was spectacular) But go see it it was better then Monsters Inc. 4 out of 5 dead carp for this wanna be jungle book movie with no singing.

3-6-02 The Time Machine

Good little movie. Guy Pierce is a much better actor then Russell Crowe. Gladiator still sucks by the way. Well this movie is completely breathtaking visually. The effects department does some amazing things. When they blow the moon up that is very disturbing though. Mark Addy was great in his limited part as well as a coupla newcomers ( i forgot their names) who were great. Don't see this movie if you get motion sickness easily. I can see people puking all over the place from seeing this movie with its fast dizzying camera work. Its a good adventure I suggest going to see it . We give it a 3 and a half dead carp out of 5.

2-22-02 Queen of the Damned

Ok as a vampire movie the BenScyte liked this movie but as compared to Interview with the Vampire it sucked bad! But aside from things like disregarding the book and too much hissing it was a decent plot and the acting was ok. Did you never notice that vampires are super sloppy eaters? For once I'd like to see a vampire suck blood and not dribble it down their chin and not have stains on their teeth. Stuart Townsend was good as Lestat (which they cannot pronounce still!!!) but seriously needed a bleach job cause if ytou read the books you know Lestat has blonde hair. but over all this movie rates 3 of 5 dead carp.

2-15-02 Super Troopers

This movie was a whole hell of a lot funnier then it should have been. The Broken Lizard comedy troop was great in setting this easy to follow and completely innocent movie. I rolled at the hi-jinx of the Vermont state troopers. I can't say much about this movie except that it was funny go see it ! We had to give it 4 and a half out of 5 dead carp!!!

7-18-01Jurassic Park 3
This move is just like a ride on a roller coaster. Sam Neill returns as Alan Grant and Lara Dern has a bit part again as Ellie Sattler. The Dinos in this one are more fantastic and brutal except for the constant breaking on necks human style I don't' think animals know that movie trick but the ones in Jurassic park seemed to have learned it . Joe Johnson keeps to the Speilbergian ways with lavish effects and a weak script but its fun to look at. The Pterodactyl scene was particularly good except the Dactyls were about 5 times too big as in real life they weighed about 12 pounds. But i was very impressed with the ankylosaurses one of muh all time favorites. being a Dino nut I am biased giving this one 4 of 5 dead carp on my ratings system.

7-17-01Dr. Dolittle 2
A fun Eddie Murphy movie for the whole family. But you could see moments where he wasn't to say flith flarn flarn flith in it. I guess ole Ed needs to have a coke and a smile and shut the fuck up. But we digress This movie was funny and Norm MacDonald was good once again as his wise cracking dog side kick. And how can we forget the beaver. You put a beaver in any movie and you have a winner. The plot was good forest animals hiring the Dr to save their forest and it worked out well I say go see this one 3 of 5 dead carp for the good Dr.

7-6-01 The Animal
Rob Schneider and that chick from the first survivor get chopped up and made into "Animals" in this mainstream B movie. But sine we went in thinking it was gonna be like a B movie and B so Bad it would B good we were once again correct. The BenScyte thrills all with out proscativative knowledge and our Bad spelling. Well we enjoyed the hell out of this one and laughed our asses off ( even though we only have one ass it sounds better to say asses) This is a good movie if your looking for something like like say soup du jour. I actually enjoyed it and again say go see it. 3 of 5 dead carp

7-4-01 Scary Movie 2
This movie sucked. I mean Hoover vacuum sucking or shop-vac or 2 dollar ho sucking. it was terrible. There were more bodily function jokes in the first 5 minutes then should be allowed in an entire summer of movies. Most of the humor in this farce was lowbrow and only will appeal to the the most mentally challenged people. I hated this move everyone i went to see it with hated it and the critics hated it, nuff said. It doesn't even rate a whiff of dead carp on our scale. I can't give this movie a low enough rating.

8-05-01Planet Of The Apes This is a movie that started good and was riveting for the first hour but at the end when it became an action movie it got boring and the surprise ending was insanely predictable. All the actors were great but Tim Burton needed to be fired on this one. The continuity errors was massive most obvious was the ship crashing during the day sinking at night then Mark Walberg swimming out in a brightly lit super clear pool not the dank jungle pool he crashed into. This movie sucked. 1 of 5 dead carp for it and I was so excited to see this one too