Buffy: Okay, everyone look at me like I'm in a bunny suit because that's how stupid I feel like saying this.
Buffy: Excuse me. Can I have a little support here please? I'm not just some crazy person, I'm the slayer.
Buffy: Giles, unto every generation is born one who must run the annual talentless show. You can not escape your destiny.
Xander: We can do stuff. Buffy uh...
Buffy: What ma I gonna do, slay vampires onstage?
Willow: Maybe in a funny way?
Buffy: Nah, I think I'll take on your traditional role and watch...
Xander: ...and mock...
Willow: ...and laugh.
Xander: I have my pride. Okay, I don't have a lot of my pride, but I have enough so that I can't do this.
Willow: We can set up a complex sting operation where we get him to confess.
Xander: I should wear a wire.
Giles: "Thank you, Cordelia. That's going to be lovely."
Cordelia: "But I didn't do the part with sparklers."
Giles: "We'll save that for the dress rehearsal."
Buffy: "The school talent show. However did you finagle such a primo assignment?"
Giles: "Our fuhrer, Mister Snyder."
Willow: "I think they call them principals now."
Buffy: "Giles, unto every generation is born one who must run the annual talentless show. You cannot escape your destiny.
Giles: "If you had any shred of decency, you would have participated, or at least helped."
Principal Snyder: "All three of you left campus yesterday."
Buffy: "Yeah, but we were fighting a demon..." Principal Snyder: "Fighting?"
Buffy: "Not fighting."
Xander: "No, we left to avoid fighting."
Principal Snyder: "I think I've just found three eager new participants for the talent show."
Buffy: "What?"
Xander: "No!"
Willow: "Please?"
Xander: "Can I just mention that detention is a time-honored form of punishment."
Willow: "I think dummies are cute. You don't?"
Buffy: "Unh, they give me the wig. Ever since I was little."
Willow: "What happened?"
Buffy: "I saw a dummy, it gave me the wig. There really wasn't a story there."
Xander: "I can't do this."
Buffy: "Xander, come on!"
Xander: "No, I--I can't. I have my pride. Okay, I don't have a lot of my pride, but I have enough so that I can't do this."
Willow: "Dramatic scene is the easiest way to get through a talent show, because it doesn't require an actual talent."
Buffy: "What am I gonna' do? Slay vampires on stage?"
Willow: "Maybe in a funny way!"
Buffy: "Okay, Morgan, we get the joke. Horny dummy, ha ha. It's very funny, but you might wanna' consider getting some new schtick, unless you want your prop ending up as a Duraflame log."
Principal Snyder: "Kids today need discipline. That's a popular word these days: discipline. I know Principal Flutie would have said, 'Kids need understanding. Kids are human beings.' That's the kind of wooly-headed liberal thinking that leads to being eaten."
Principal Snyder: "This place has quite a reputation. Suicide, missing persons, spontaneous cheerleader combustion? I can't put up with that."
Principal Snyder: "Kids. I don't like 'em."
Xander: "Did I mention that I hate this school?"
Willow: "The creep factor is also heightened. It could be anyone. It could be me!"
Xander, Buffy, and Giles: "..."
Willow: "It's not, though."
Cordelia: "It's just such a tragedy for me. Emma was like my best friend!"
Xander: "Emily."
Cordelia: "All I can think is, 'It could have been me!'"
Xander: "We can dream."
Buffy: "Cute couple."
Xander: "Okay, next time we split up, someone else is on Cordy detail. Five more minutes with her and we would have had another organ donor."
Xander: "Can I still wear a wire?"
Principal Snyder: "There are things I will not tolerate: students loitering on campus after school, horrible murders with hearts being removed, and also smoking.
Buffy: "Look, Mom, if you really love me and wanna' show your support, you'll stay away. Far away.
Buffy: "I'm sorry I got you up."
Joyce: "Don't worry about it, I was dreaming about bills."
Cordelia: "My song is about dignity, and human feelings, and personal...hygiene...or something. Anyway, it's sappy, and noone's gonna' be feeling sappy after all that rock and roll!"
Buffy: "I'm not just some crazy person. I'm the Slayer."
Xander: "The Dummy Slayer?"
Xander: "Redrum! Redrum!"
Willow: "Once again, I've been banished to the demon section of the card catalog."
Giles: "You concentrate on re-animation theory. I'll poke about in organ harvesting. Unless, of course, you prefer..."
Willow: "That's okay. You can have the organs."
Buffy: "Whoever's out there, I'm gonna' hurt you...badly. Just give me a minute."
Giles: "It's such a welcome change to have someone else explain all these things."
Cordelia: "I can't go out there. All those people staring at me and judging me like I'm some kind of...Buffy!"
Buffy: "I'm never gonna' stop washing my hands."
Xander: "So the dummy tells us that he's a demon hunter, and we're like, 'Fine. La la la la.' He takes off, and now there's a brain. Does anybody else feel like they've been Keyser Soze'd?"
Buffy: "This means that whatever's out there still needs a healthy, intelligent brain."
Xander: "In other words, I'm safe."
Willow: "What could a demon possibly want from me?"
Xander: "What's the square root of eight hundred and forty-one?"
Willow: "Twenty-nine. Oh yeah."
Giles: "Shouldn't it be aimed at my neck?"
Marc: "No. No, this way, your scalp gets sliced off, and your brains just come pouring out."
Giles: "What exactly is the trick?"
Marc: "Trick?"
Giles: "I must say, all of you, your timing is impeccable."
Principal Snyder: "I don't get it. What is it...Avant Garde?"
Home The Altar Willows Book Of Shadows Image Gallery Quotes Fan fiction Fan Art Awards KeeperMythology Webrings Info Links
