Some Assembly Required

Cordelia: "Hi, sorry to interrupt your little undead play group, but I need to ask Willow if she'll help me with my science fair project."
Willow: "It's a fruit."

Cordelia: "Hello? Can we deal with my pain, please?"
Giles: "There, there." <pats her shoulder>

Willow: "It says that Meredith and two other girls in the car were killed instantly. They were all on the Fondren High Pep Squad, on the way to a game."
Buffy: "You know what this means?"
Xander: "That Fondren might actually beat Sunnydale in the cross-town body count competition this year?"

Buffy: "Gee, I wish people wouldn't leave open graves laying around like this."

Buffy: "Being called an idiot tends to take people out of the dating mood."
Xander: "Well, it actually kind of turns me on."
Buffy: "I fear you."

Buffy: "You also might wanna' avoid words like 'amenable' and 'indecorous'. You know? Speak English, not whatever they speak in, uh..."
Giles: "England?"
Buffy: "Yeah. You just say, 'Hey, I got a thing. You maybe have a thing. Maybe we could have a thing?'"
Giles: "Well thank you, Cyrano."
Buffy: "I'm not finished. Then you say, 'How do you feel about Mexican?'"
Giles: "About Mexicans?"
Buffy: "Mexican. Food. You take her for food, for which you then pay."

Xander: "So this chair woman, we are talking Ms. Calendar, right?"
Giles: "What makes you think that?"
Xander: "Simple deduction. Ms. Calendar is reasonably dollsome, especially for someone in your age bracket. She already knows you're a school librarian, so you don't have to worry about how to break that embarrassing news to her."
Buffy: "And she's the only woman we've ever seen actually speak to you. Add it up and it all spells 'Duh!'"

Corderlia: "Eeuw! Why is it that every conversation you have has the word 'corpse' in it?"

Xander: "So we dig up some graves tonight?"
Willow: "Oh boy, a field trip."

Xander: "So we're set, then. Say, nine-ish? B.Y.O. Shovel."
Willow: "And I'll pack some food. Who else likes those little powdered donuts?"
Xander: "Me."
Willow: "Cordelia?"
Cordelia: "Darn, I have cheerleader practice tonight. Boy, I wish I knew you were gonna' be digging up dead people sooner. I would've cancelled."
Xander: "All right, but if you come across the army of zombies, can you page us before they eat your flesh?"
Cordelia: "Oh!"
Giles: "Xander?"
Xander: "Huh?"
Giles: "Zombies don't eat the flesh of the living."
Xander: "Ha. Yeah, I know that, but did you see the look on her face?"

Willow: "Love makes you do the wacky."
Buffy: "That's the truth."

Angel: "Is this a bad time?"
Buffy: "Are you crazy? You don't just sneak up on people in a graveyard. You make noise when you walk. You stomp or yodel."

Angel: "'Danced with' is a pretty loose term. 'Mated with' might be a little closer."
Buffy: "Don't you think you're being a little unfair? It was one little dance, which I only did to make you crazy. By the way, behold my success."

Angel: "See? Whenever we fight, you always bring up the vampire thing."
Buffy: "Well, I didn't come here to fight!"
Stephan Vampire: "Rargh!!!"
Buffy: "Ooh! Oh right, I did!"

Cordelia: "Okay, I'm doing this under protest. It is not fair that they're making participation in this year's science fair mandatory. I don't think anyone should have to do anything educational in school if they don't want to."
Willow: "'The Tomato: Fruit or Vegetable?'"
Cordelia: "I wanted to do something I could finish in a weekend, all right?"

Cordelia: "I didn't think yearbook nerds came out of hybernation 'til spring."

Buffy: "Uh, sorry to interrupt, Willow, but it's the bat signal."

Xander: "You know, this might go a lot faster if you femmes actually picked up a shovel, too."
Giles: "Hear hear!"
Buffy: "Sorry, but I'm an old-fashioned gal. I was raised to believe that men dig up the corpses and women have the babies."

Willow: "He was a big football star. All State two years ago. He was a running--he was a running--uh, someone who runs and catches."

Buffy: "And he broke Cordy's heart? Thus possibly proving its existence."

Xander: "Now is it time to have a talk about the facts of life?"
Giles: "You know, I'm suddenly deciding this is none of your business."
Xander: "You know, 'cause that whole stork thing is a smoke screen!"

Giles: "Grave robbery? That's new. Interesting."
Buffy: "I know you meant to say 'gross' and 'disturbing'."
Giles: "Yes, yes, yes, of course. Terrible thing. Must put a stop to it. Damn it."

Giles: "Why don't we ask Willow to fire this...thing up and track Meredith down."

Xander: "So if both coffins are empty, that makes three girls signed up for the army of zombies."
Willow: "Is it an army if you just have three?"
Buffy: "Well, zombie drill team, then."

Angel: "Cordelia told me the truth."
Xander: "Ha ha! That's gotta' be a first."

Willow: "By the way, are we hoping to find a body or no body?"
Xander: "Call me an optimist, but I'm hoping to find a fortune in gold doubloons."

Giles: "All right, then. Go on."
Xander: "You're closer."
Buffy: "Pathetic much?"

Cordelia: "Guys, if we don't get this down by tomorrow, no one's gonna' be led by our cheers. Practice."

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