DAWN (writing in diary): Nobody knows who I am. Not the real me. It's like, nobody cares enough to find out. I mean, does anyone ever ask *me* what I want to do with my life? Or what my opinion is on stuff? Or what restaurant to order in from? No. Underline. Exclamation point. Exclamation point, exclamation point. (pause) No one understands. No one has an older sister who's a slayer. People wouldn't be so crazy about her if they had to live in the same house with her every single day. Everybody cares what she thinks. Just 'cause she can do backflips and stuff.Like that's *such* a crucial job skill in the real world. Plus Mom lets her get away with everything. "Your sister's saving the world." *I* could so save the world if somebody handed me super powers... ...but I'd think of a cool name and wear a mask to protect my loved ones, which Buffy doesn't even. If this town wasn't so lame everyone would completely know what she does. And then I bet they wouldn't even be that impressed, because like, killing things with wood? Oh, scary vampires, they die from a splinter.
BUFFY: Suck up.
RILEY: What? It's a nice outfit.
BUFFY: Mm-hmm.
RILEY: Besides, "I'm here to violate your firstborn" never goes over with parents. Not sure why.
RILEY: Hey, kid.
DAWN: I'm not a kid
GILES: Well, I sympathize with you, Buffy, I truly do. But I'm certain that Riley understands better than anyone else the importance of training. You can't allow personal concerns to distract you from- (Dawn reaches between them to change the radio station) Dawn, will you stop fiddling with the radio and sit down?
DAWN (narrating): I think it's 'cause he's just so ... old. I'm not sure how old he is, but I heard him use the word "newfangled" one time. So he's gotta be pretty far gone.
BUFFY: There's a lot of books on this list. Any of them come on tape? You know, read by George Clooney or someone cute like that?
GILES: You're entering a new realm here, Buffy. One for which I myself am not entirely prepared. Are you ready for this commitment?
BUFFY: I'm just kidding! Hey, this Betty's ready. Color me committed.
GILES: Blast!
BUFFY: You put it in neutral again, huh?
GILES: I'm just not used to this automatic transmission. I-I loathe this sitting here, not contributing.
GILES: No, i-it's not working out.
BUFFY: Giles, are you breaking up with your car?
GILES: Well, it did seduce me, all red and sporty!
BUFFY: Little two-door tramp.
GILES: I-I-I don't know, I just - I was so at loose ends, I-I found myself searching for ... some way of feeling more...
BUFFY: Shallow?
GILES: Perhaps, as I am to act as your Watcher again, a modicum of respect might be in order.
BUFFY: Do I have to?
GILES: I'm serious, Buffy, there's going to be far less time for the sort of flighty, frivolous-
DAWN: (pointing) Hey, there's Willow and Tara!
GILES: Ooh, they haven't seen my new car.
WILLOW: Hey Giles, sharp wheels!
TARA: The rest of the car's nice too.
DAWN (Narrating): Like Tara. She and Willow are both witches. They do spells and stuff, which is so much cooler than slaying. I told Mom one time I wished they'd teach me some of the things they do together. A-and then she got really quiet and made me go upstairs... Huh...I guess her generation isn't cool with witchcraft.
BUFFY: So Giles and I worked out a whole schedule around school. A block of time every day just to focus on my new slayer training.
WILLOW: That's a work ethic! Buffy, you're developing a work ethic.
BUFFY: Oh, no. Do they make an ointment for that?
WILLOW: People gotta respect a solid work ethic. Look at you, motivated Buffy. Eager to soak up learning. Oh, you and I are gonna have so much fun this semester.
BUFFY: Yeah, that reminds me. With the whole new training schedule, I kinda had to drop a class.
WILLOW: That's understandable. Your slayer studies are way more important.
BUFFY: So I won't be taking drama with you.
WILLOW: What? You have to, you promised!
BUFFY: Well, I know, but Giles said that it just was-
WILLOW: The hell with Giles.
GILES: I can hear you, Willow.
WILLOW: Drama is just Tuesday and Thursday afternoons. You can blow off training Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, can't you?
BUFFY: What happened to "people gotta respect a work ethic"?
WILLOW: Other people, not me! There's a whole best friend loophole.
GUY (to Dawn): Whatcha doin'? What are you doing here? You can't loiter. There's no loitering. That's why I'm a cat. Quiet. See, cat's in the cupboard but they find you there anyway, and it hurts. (sobbing) Please, make it stop. (in a different tone) Shut up, shut up, they'll hear you!
DAWN: Buff- (Shrieks as the guy puts his finger on her lips)
GUY (to Dawn): I know you. Curds and whey. (Dawn looks shocked) I know what you are. You ... don't ... belong ... here.
