Buffy: If the apocalypse comes, beep me.
Buffy: Clark Kent has a job. I just wanna go out on a date.
Buffy: But...cute guy, teenager, post pubecent fantasies.
Buffy: I feel like everyone is staring at me. The big hideous dateless monster. What? That's right, I have no life. Come one, there's nothing to see here pal, move it along.
Buffy: Giles, don't mention it. It was my pleasure to make the world safe for humanity again.
Buffy: Buffy's not home.
Buffy: Well in that case, I won't wear my button that says I'm a slayer, ask me how.
Buffy: Tonight, ok...not ok! It can't be tonight.
Giles: My calculations are precise.
Buffy: They're bad calculations, bad.
Buffy: See, this is a school. And we have students and they check out books and then they learn things.
Giles: I was beginning to suspect that was a myth.
Giles: They came after me, but I was more than a match for them.
Buffy: Meaning?
Giles: I hid.
Giles: Another date? Don't you ever do anything else?
Buffy: This is the first date, there's never been a date. Ok? This is my maiden voyage.
Giles: Ninety percent of the vampire slaying game is waiting.
Buffy: You couldn't have told me that ninety percent ago?
Giles: Alright. I'll just jump into my time machine, go back to the 12th century and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show.
Buffy: Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm.
Giles: Yes, you're right.
Buffy: Ooh. Two points for the slayer while the watcher has yet to score.
Owen: You see that? He tried to bite me. What a sissy.
Willow: He reads Emily Dickenson? He's sensitive, yet manly.
Xander: So Buffy, how'd the slaying go last night?
Buffy: Xander?!
Xander: I mean...how'd the laying go. No, I don't mean that either.
Giles: "It should simply be plunge and move on, plunge and..."
Buffy: "Two points for the Slayer while the Watcher has yet to score!"
Buffy: "See, this is a school, and we have students, and they check out books, and then they learn things."
Giles: "I was beginning to suspect that was a myth."
Owen: "I lost my Emily. Dickinson. It's dumb, but I like her around, kind of like a security blanket."
Buffy: "Oh, I have something like that...well, it's an actual blanket...oh, and I don't really carry it around anymore. So, Emily Dickens, huh? She's great!"
Owen: "Dickinson."
Buffy: "She's good, also."
Giles: "Oh, Emily Dickinson."
Buffy: "We're both fans?" G
iles: "Yes, she's quite a good poet. I mean, for uh, a..."
Buffy: "A girl?"
Giles: "For an American."
Xander: "So Buffy, how'd the slaying go last night?"
Buffy: "Xander!"
Xander: "I mean, how'd the laying go last night? No, I don't mean that either."
Buffy: "Boy, Cordelia's hips are wider than I thought."
Owen: "At least you don't have to eat your Soylent Green."
Giles: "My calculations are precise."
Buffy: "They're bad calculations. Bad!"
Giles: "I'll just jump in my time machine, go back to the twelfth century, and ask the vampires to postpone their ancient prophecy for a few days while you take in dinner and a show."
Buffy: "Okay, at this point you're abusing sarcasm."
Giles: "Well, you know what they say. Ninety percent of the vampire slaying game is waiting."
Buffy: "You couldn't have told me that ninety percent ago?"
Giles: "If your identity as a Slayer is revealed, it could put you and all those around you in grave danger."
Buffy: "Well, in that case, I won't wear my button that says, "I'm a Slayer, ask me how."
Xander: "So, you just went home?"
Buffy: "What was I supposed to do? Say to Owen, 'Sorry I was late. I was sitting in a cemetery with the librarian waiting for a vampire to rise so I could prevent an evil prophecy from coming to pass'?
Xander: "Or, 'Flat tire'?"
Buffy: "Tonight! Isn't that so?"
Xander: "What?"
Buffy: "Me and Owen."
Xander: "Yeah, so it is. It sure is so."
Giles: "She is the strangest girl."
Xander: "Oh, hey, here's something. A nice comfy overcoat and a ski cap. The ear flaps will bring out your eyes."
Buffy: "Which one do you think Owen will like better: the red or the peach?"
Xander: "Oh, you mean for kissing you and then telling all his friends how easy you are so the whole school loses respect for you and then talks behind your back? The red's fine.
Buffy: "Thanks. I'll go with the peach."
Giles: "You have a date?"
Buffy: "Yes, but I will return those overdue books by tomorrow."
Giles: "You're not getting off that easily!"
Owen: "Man, you really care about your work!"
Buffy: "A cranky Slayer is a careless Slayer."
Buffy: "Clark Kent has a job. I just want to go on a date."
Buffy: "If the Apocalypse comes, beep me."
Xander: "He's like Super Librarian. Everyone forgets, Willow, that knowledge is the ultimate weapon."
Cordelia: "Owen! Look at you here, all alone."
Owen: "Cordelia, I'm here with Buffy."
Cordelia: "Oh. Okay. You wanna' dance?"
Owen: "No, I'm still here with Buffy."
Cordelia: "You are so good to help the needy."
Buffy: "Cordelia, Owen and I would like to be alone right now, and for that to happen, you would have to go somewhere that's away.
Cordelia: "Well, when you're ready for the big leagues, let me know."
Cordelia: "Hello, salty goodness!"
Cordelia: "Pick up the phone, call 911. That boy's going to need some serious oxygen after I'm through with him."
Owen: "So, where do you know Buffy from?"
Angel: "Work."
Owen: "Are we going to see a dead body?"
Buffy: "Possibly several."
Giles: "Buffy, when I said you could slay vampires and have a social life, I didn't mean at the same time."
Owen: "I read a lot about death, but I've never really seen a dead body before. Do they usually move?"
Owen: "He tried to bite me! What a sissy!"
Owen: "Does anyone have an aspirin? Or sixty?"
Buffy: "Tonight would be not a workable thing. Did I just say that?"
Giles: "I had very definite plans about my future. I was going to be a fighter pilot. Or possibly a grocer."
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