I Robot --You Jane

Buffy: He's gone binary on us.

Buffy: Oh great, a book.

Buffy: You are a thing of evil for not telling me this right away.

Buffy: Well you're a computer geek... genius, and I sorta have a technical problem.

Buffy: Besides, I can just tell something's wrong. My spider-sense is tingling.

Giles: You're spider-sense?

Buffy: Pop culture reference, sorry.

Buffy: So, you've been seeing a guy and you don't know what he looks like. Okay, this is a puzzle. No wait, I'm good at these. Does it involve a midget and a block of ice?

Willow: I met him online.

Buffy: Okay, that's it, you have a secret and that's not allowed.

Willow: Why not?

Buffy: Cuz there's a rule.

Buffy: She certainly looks perky.

Xander: Yeah, color in the cheeks, bounce in the step. I don't like it, it's not healthy.

Fritz: The printed page is obsolete. Information isn't bound up anymore, it's an entity. The only reality is virtual. If you're not jacked in, you're not alive.

Jenny: Thank you Fritz for making all of us sound like crazy people.

Giles: Miss Calendar, I'm sure you're computer science class is fascinating. But, I happen to believe that one can survive in modern society without a slave to the... idiot box.

Jenny: That's TV, the idiotbox is TV. This is the goodbox.

Giles: Couldn't you just stop Molloch by entering some computer virus?

Jenny: You've seen too many movies.

Jenny: Well, you really are an old fashioned boy, aren't you?

Giles: I don't dangle a corkscrew from my ear.

Jenny: That's not where I dangle it.

Willow: Xander, do you want to stay and help me?

Xander: You kidding?

Willow: Yes, it was a joke I made up.

Xander: Willow, I love you, but byeee.

Jenny: "I know our ways are strange to you, but soon you will join us in the 20th century, with three whole years to spare!"

Giles: "Well, I've examined it. You can, uh, uh, skin it."

Jenny: "Scan it. Rupert, that's 'scan' it."

Giles: "Miss Calendar, I'm sure your computer science class is fascinating. But I happen to believe one can survive in modern society without being enslaved to the idiot box."

Jenny: "That's TV. The idiot box is TV. This is the good box."

Giles: "Well, I still prefer a good book."

Fritz: "The printed page is obsolete. Information isn't bound up anymore. It's an entity. The only reality is virtual. If you're not jacked in, you're not alive."

Jenny: "Thank you, Fritz, for making us all sound like crazy people."

Jenny: "You know, the last two years, more e-mail was sent than regular mail. More digitized information went across phone lines than conversations."

Giles: "That is a fact that I regard with genuine horror."

Willow: "Xander, you wanna' stay and help me?"

Xander: "You kidding?"

Willow: "Yes, it was a joke I made up."

Xander: "Willow, I love you, but bye!"

Giles: "I'll be back in the middle ages."

Jenny: "Did you ever leave?"

Buffy: "Okay, you have a secret, and that's not allowed."

Willow: "Why not?"

Buffy: "'Cause...there's a rule."

Buffy: "You are a thing of evil for not telling me this right away."

Buffy: "So, you've been seeing a guy, but you don't know what he looks like. Okay, this is a puzzle. No, wait, I'm good at these. Does it involve a midget and a block of ice?"

Buffy: "What if you guys get really, really intense, and then you find out he has a hairy back?"

Willow: "Well, no, he doesn't talk like somebody who would have a hairy back."

Jenny: "Will I be excited?"

Fritz: "You'll die."

Xander: "Guess who."

Willow: "Uh, Xander?"

Xander: "Yeah, but keep guessing anyway."

Willow: "Xander?"

Xander: "Oh, I can't fool you. You see right through my petty charade."

Xander: "You're going to be missing out. I'm planning to be witty. I'm going to make fun of all of the people who won't talk to me."

Willow: "That's nice. Have a good time!"

Buffy: "She certainly looks perky."

Xander: "Yeah. Color in the cheeks, bounce in the step. I don't like it. It's not healthy."

Buffy: "This guy could be anybody. He could be weird or crazy or old or...he could be a circus freak--he's probably a circus freak!"

Xander: "Yeah, I mean we read about it all the time. You know, people meet on the net, they talk, they get together, have dinner, a show...horrible axe murder."

Buffy: "Willow, axe murdered by a circus freak!"

Buffy: "We are totally overreacting!"

Xander: "But it's fun, isn't it?"

Willow: "You're having an expression."

Buffy: "He's boyfriendly?"

Buffy: "Hi there, Dave. Anybody home?"

Buffy: "Wow, I had knowledge!"

Giles: "Those boys aren't sparklingly normal as it is."

Giles: "Things involving the computer fill me with a childlike terror. Now, if it were a nice ogre or some such, I'd be more in my element."

Xander: "What, I can't have information sometimes?"

Giles: "It's just somewhat unprecedented."

Buffy: "My spider sense is tingling."

Giles: "Your...spider sense?"

Buffy: "Pop culture reference. Sorry."

Buffy: "Breaking in. Then this is a plan."

Xander: "I'm free tonight."

Buffy: "Tonight it is."

Giles: "A moment, please, of quiet reflection..."

Jenny: "You're here again? You kids really dig the library, don't you?"

Buffy: "We're literary."

Xander: "To read makes our speaking English good."

Jenny: "Well, I think you'll be very happy here, with your musty old books."

Giles: "These musty old books have a great deal more to say than any of your fabulous web pages."

Giles: "Well, it's been so nice talking to you."

Jenny: "We were fighting."

Giles: "Must do it again sometime. Bye now."

Buffy: "Tell me the truth. How's my hair?"

Xander: "It's great. It's your best hair ever."

Giles: "Does this look familiar to either of you?"

Buffy: "Yeah, sure. It looks like a book."

Xander: "I knew that one."

Xander: "You released Moloch?"

Buffy: "Way to go!"

Buffy: "Okay, so a powerful demon with horns is walking around Sunnydale, and nobody's noticed?"

Giles: "The scanner read the book and brought Moloch out as information to be absorbed."

Buffy: "He's gone binary on us."

Xander: "Okay, for those of us in our studio audience who are me, you guys are saying that Moloch is in this computer?"

Buffy: "So much for 'delete file'."

Xander: "He's in a computer! What can he do?"

Buffy: "You mean besides convince a perfectly nice kid to try and kill me? I don't know. How 'bout mess up all the medical equipment in the world?"

Giles: "Randomize traffic signals."

Buffy: "Access launch codes for our nuclear missiles."

Giles: "Destroy the world's economy."

Buffy: "I think I pretty much capped it with that nuclear missile thing."

Giles: "Right, yours was best."

Xander: "Okay, he's a threat. I'm on board with that now."

Jenny: "Wrong and wrong, snobby."

Giles: "What's in cyberspace at the moment is less than divine."

Buffy: "Here's a tip: hurry!"

Jenny: "The first thing we have to do is form the Circle of Kayless, right?"

Giles: "Form a circle? But there's only two of us. That's really more of a line."

Giles: "Couldn't you just stop Moloch be entering some computer virus?"

Jenny: "You've seen way too many movies."

Giles: "Hoping and betting, that's what we've got."

Jenny: "You want to throw in praying, be my guest."

Xander: "Hey, I got to hit someone!"

Willow: "Malcolm! Remember me, your girlfriend? I think it's time we break up. But maybe we can still be friends.

Giles: "If it's to last, then the getting of knowledge should be tangible. It should be, um, smelly."

Giles: "Well, I don't dangle a corkscrew from my ear."

Jenny: "That's not where I dangle it."

Giles: "..."

Willow: "Malcolm. Moloch. Whatever he's called. The one boy that's really liked me and he's a demon robot. What does that say about me?"

Buffy: "Doesn't say anything about you."

Willow: "I mean, I thought I was really falling..."

Buffy: "Hey, did you forget? The one boy I've had the hots for since I moved here? Turned out to be a vampire."

Xander: "Right, and the teacher I had a crush on? Giant preying mantis."

Willow: "That's true."

Xander: "That's life on the Hellmouth."

Buffy: "Let's face it. None of us are ever gonna' have a happy, normal relationship."

Xander: "We're doomed!"

Willow: "Yeah!" (laughs, then abrupt silence)

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