Willow: "What if they're lying in wait to arrest me and, and throw me in detention and mar my unblemished record?"
Willow: "Maybe we shouldn't be too couply around Buffy."
Cordelia: "Oh, you mean 'cause of how the only guy that ever liked
her turned into a vicious killer and had to be put down like a dog?"
Xander: "Can she cram complex issues into a nutshell or what?"
Oz: "All right, prepare to uncouple. Uncouple."
Xander: "Buffy! Banned from campus, but not from our hearts. How are ya' and what's for lunch?"
Cordelia: "When did you become Martha Stewart?"
Buffy: "First of all, Martha Stewart knows jack about hand-cut
prosciutto."
Xander: "I don't believe she slays either."
Oz: "Oh, I hear she can, but she doesn't like to."
Willow: "He wanted to ask you out last year, but you weren't ready
then. But I think you're ready now, or at least in the state of
pre-readiness to make conversation. Or to do that thing with your
mouth that boys like."
Buffy: "..."
Willow: "Oh, I didn't mean the bad thing with your mouth. I
meant that little half-smile thing that you--. You're supposed to
stop me when I do that."
Oz: "I like when you do that."
Willow: "Don't you think that went very well?"
Cordelia: "He didn't try to slit our throats or anything. That's
progress."
Xander: "Oh, you want to date. I saw that half-smile, you little
slut. Ha ha ha ha."
<Buffy punches Xander's arm>
Xander: "Ha ha ha... ow."
Buffy: "All right, yes, date and shop and hang out and go to school and save the world from unspeakable demons. You know, I want to do girlie stuff."
Mr. Trick: "I mean, admittedly, it's not a haven for the brothers. You know, strictly the caucasian persuasion here in the 'Dale. But, you know, you just gotta' stand up and salute their death rate."
Mr. Trick: "It makes D.C. look like Mayberry, and ain't nobody saying boo about it."
Kakistos: "The Slayer. I'm going to rip her spine from her body,
and then I'm going to eat her heart and suck the marrow from her
bones."
Mr. Trick: "Now I'm hungry."
Angel: "Go to hell! Ha ha ha ha. I did."
Joyce: "Morning, Sunshine! Ready to face the beast?"
Principal Snyder: "Two -- that you provide, in writing, one glowing letter of recommendation from any member of our faculty who is not an English librarian."
Joyce: "I spoke with the school board, and according to them..."
Principal Snyder: "I'm required to educate every juvenile who is not
in jail where she belongs."
Joyce: "I think what my daughter's trying to say is: 'Nyah nyah nyah nyah nyah!'"
Willow: "Have you ever noticed, though, when he is mad but he's too
English to say anything, he makes that weird cluck-cluck sound with his
tongue?"
Buffy: "Hi, Giles!"
Buffy: "Okay, Acathla, huh? What are you doing, making him some demon pizza?"
Buffy: "Big fight. Angel got the pointy end of the sword. Acathla sucked him into Hell instead of the world. That's about the it."
Buffy: "Oh no, I have to go take an English make-up exam. They give you credit just for speaking it, right?"
Willow: "Mmm, sage. I love that smell. And Marnox
root. You know, a smidge of this mixed with a virgin's saliva..."
Giles: "..."
Willow: "... does something I know nothing about."
Giles: "What have you been conjuring?"
Willow: "Nothing... much."
Willow: "Floating feather. Fire out of ice -- which, next time, I won't do on the bedspread."
Willow: "Are you mad at me?"
Giles: "No, of course not, no. If I were, I would be making a
strange clucking sound with my tongue."
Buffy: "Hello, my life, how I've missed you."
Willow: "Hi, Scott! What are you doing here?"
Scott: "You told me if I came after eight, I could run into
Buffy. Uh, I'm sorry. I'm a bad liar. It's not good for the
soul, or the skin actually. It makes me blotch."
Willow: "Come on, Buffy. I mean, the guy is charm, and, and
normal, which is what you wanted to get back to."
Oz: "Plus bonus points for use of the word 'mosey'."
Cordelia: "Check out Slut-o-Rama and her Disco Dave. What was the last thing that guy danced to, K.C. and the Sunshine Band?"
Buffy: "I don't think that guy thrives on sunshine."
Willow: "That's not what making out sounds like, unless I'm doing it wrong."
Oz: "I'm gonna' go out on a limb and say there's a new Slayer in town."
Xander: "Wow! They should film that story and show it every Christmas."
Faith: "Isn't it crazy how slayin' just always makes you hungry and
horny?"
Buffy: "Well... sometimes I crave a nonfat yogurt afterwards."
Cordelia: "Xander, find a new theme."
Buffy: "Uh... oh, oh, do you guys remember The Three? That's right, you never met The Three."
Willow: "Oz is a werewolf."
Buffy: "It's a long story."
Oz: "I got bit."
Buffy: "Apparently not that long."
Faith: "Hey, as long as you don't go scratchin' at me or humpin' my
leg, we're five-by-five, ya' know?"
Oz: "Fair enough."
Faith: "The vamps, though. They better get their asses to Defcon One. 'Cause you and I are gonna' have fun, you know? Watcherless and fancy-free."
Giles: "It's a great honor to be invited... or so I'm told."
Faith: "Oh, it's boring. Way too stuffy for a guy like you."
Buffy: "Um, maybe I should introduce you again. Faith, this is
Giles."
Faith: "I've seen him. If I'd have known they came that
young and cute, I would've requested a transfer."
Buffy: "Raise your hand if 'ew'."
Giles: "Leaving aside for a moment my, uh, youth and beauty, I'd say it was, um, fortuitous that Faith arrived when she did."
Willow: "Aha!"
Buffy: "..."
Willow: "Sorry, I just meant... aha! There's a big evil
brewin'. You'll never be bored here, Faith, 'cause this is Sunnydale,
home of the big brewin' evil."
Willow: "You know, you can hang out with us whlie she's testing.
You wanna'?"
Xander: "Say 'yes' and, uh, bring your stories."
Buffy: "You guys go. It's fine. Fine. I'll just...
sit."
Buffy: "Giles, look, I've got make-up tests to pass, missing people in Sunset Ridge, and a zesty new Slayer to feed. Next time I kill Angel, I'll video it."
Willow: "And over here, we have the cafeteria, where we were mauled
by snakes."
Xander: "And this is the spot where Angel tried to kill Willow."
Willow: "Oh, and over there in the lounge is where Spike and his gang
nearly massacred us all on parent-teacher night. Oh, and up those
stairs, I was sucked into a muddy grave."
Xander: "And they say young people don't learn anything in high
school nowadays, but, um, I've learned to be afraid."
Faith: "You guys are a hoot and a half. I mean, if I had friends like you in high school, I... probably still would've dropped out, but I might've been sad about it, you know?"
Cordelia: "What is it with you and Slayers? Maybe I should dress
up as one, and put a stake to your throat."
Xander: "Oh, please, God, don't let that be sarcasm."
Cordelia: "Does anyone believe that is her actual hair color?"
Willow: "Hey, maybe Faith and Scott could hit it off. I mean, if you're done with him. Not... that you used him."
Buffy: "Why am I seeing a look?"
Willow: "You really do need to find the fun, B."
Buffy: "..."
Willow: "Uffy."
Mr. Trick: "I mean, you know, you get the hankering for the blood of a fifteen-year-old Filipina, and I'm on the net and she's here the next day, express air."
Joyce: "So you're a Slayer too. Isn't that interesting. Do you like it?"
Faith: "Well, when I'm fighting, it's like the whole world goes away,
and I only know one thing: that I'm gonna' win, and they're gonna'
lose. I like that feelin'."
Buffy: "Well, sure. Beats that dead feeling you get when they
win and you lose."
Joyce: "Buffy can be awfully negative sometimes. See, honey, you gotta' fight that."
Joyce: "I like this girl, Buffy."
Buffy: "She's very personable. She gets along with my friends,
my Watcher, my mom. Look, now she's getting along with my fries."
Joyce: "Now, Buffy..."
Buffy: "Plus at school today, she was making eyes at my
not-boyfriend. This is creepy."
Joyce: "Does anybody else think Faith is creepy?"
Buffy: "No, but I'm the one getting single-white-female'd here."
Joyce: "When did you die? You never told me you died."
Buffy: "No, uh, it was just for a few minutes."
Joyce: "I have tried to march in the "Slayer Pride" parade, but... I don't want you to die."
Buffy: "I've got help now. I've got all the help I can stand."
Faith: "Didn't we, um, do this street already?"
Buffy: "Funny thing about vamps. They'll hit a street even after
you've been there. It's like they have no manners."
Faith: "I'm five-by-five here, B, living entirely large, actually
wondering about your problem."
Buffy: "Well, I may not sleep in the nude and rassle
alligators..."
Faith: "Maybe it's time you started 'cause obviously something in
your bottle needs uncorking."
Faith: "What are you getting so strung out for, B?"
Buffy: "Why are your lips still moving, F?"
Faith: "Did I just hear a threat?"
Buffy: "Would you like to?"
Faith: "Wow. Think you can take me?"
Buffy: "Yeah. I just hope they can't!"
Faith: "My dead mother hits harder than that!"
Faith: "Gee, if doing violence to vampires upsets you, I think you're in the wrong line of work."
Buffy: "The job is to slay demons. Not to beat them to a bloody pulp while their friends corner me."
Giles: "What you must realize, Buffy, is that you and Faith have very
different temperaments."
Buffy: "Yeah, and mine's the sane one. The girl's not playing
with a full deck, Giles. She has almost no deck. She has a
three."
Giles: "She doesn't have a whole other life here, as you do."
Buffy: "She doesn't need a life. She has mine."
Giles: "I think you're being a little--."
Buffy: "No, I'm being a lot. I know that."
Giles: "I'll see if I can reach her Watcher at the retreat.
They're eight hours ahead now. Yes, they're probably sitting down to
a nightcap. I wonder if they still kayak. I used to love a good
kayak. You see, they don't even consider--."
Buffy: "..."
Giles: "Sorry, I digress."
Buffy: "No tats. Crappy dressers. And, uh, oh, the one that
nearly bit me mentioned something about kissing toast. He lived for
kissing toast."
Giles: "Do you mean 'Kakistos'?"
Buffy: "Maybe it was taquitos. Maybe he lived for taquitos.
What?"
Giles: "Kakistos."
Buffy: "Is that bad?"
Giles: "You think he and Faith are connected?"
Buffy: "Giles, there are two things that I don't believe in:
coincidence and leprechauns."
Giles: "Well, Buffy, it's entirely possible that they arrived here by
chance simultaneously."
Buffy: "Okay, but I was right about the leprechauns, right?"
Giles: "As far as I know."
Buffy: "I'm gonna' talk to Faith, see if khaki trousers rings--."
Giles: "Kakistos."
Buffy: "Kakistos rings a bell... or an alarm."
Scott: "Think of this as my last-ditch effort. I realize that one more is gonna' qualify as stalking."
Scott: "Keaton is key."
Faith: "I'm the one who can handle this."
Buffy: "Yeah, you're a real badass when it comes to packing."
Buffy: "Faith, you run, he runs after you."
Faith: "That's where the head start comes in handy."
Buffy: "Scream later! Escape now!"
Buffy: "Faith, first rule of slaying: don't die."
Buffy: "You hungry?"
Faith: "Starved."
Buffy: "So I told him that I loved him... and I kissed him... and I killed him."
Buffy: "Wow, if I knew I was gonna' go on this long, I probably would've brought some water."
Scott: "I don't know, Buffy. I'm, I'm really gonna' have to
think about this."
Buffy: "..."
Scott: "Okay, you know what, I thought about it, and I'm in.
When do you want to go?"
