Xander: "This time, I'm ready for you. No 'F' for Xander today. This baby's my ticket to a sweet 'D' minus."
Amy: "A love spell?"
Xander: "Yeah. You know, just the basic can't eat, can't sleep, can't
breathe anything but little old moi."
Willow: "My boyfriend's in the band."
Amy: "Cool."
Buffy: "I think you've now told everybody."
Willow: "Only in this hemisphere."
Willow: "Oz has his cool hair today."
Willow: "I think I'm a groupie!"
Xander: "A man can only talk self-tanning lotion for so long before his head explodes."
Amy: "Intent has to be pure with love spells."
Xander: "Right, I intend revenge. Pure as the driven snow."
Buffy: "You never held out on me until the big bad thing in the dark became my ex-honey."
Cordelia: "I thought it was a gift."
Xander: "No. Last night, it was a gift. Today, it's scrap metal.
Figure I can melt it down, sell it for fillings or something."
Xander: "Is this love? 'Cause maybe on you, it doesn't look that different."
Xander: "So, what do you think?"
Buffy: "It's nice."
Xander: "But do you think Cordelia will like it?"
Buffy: "I don't know. Does she know what one of these is?"
Xander: "Okay, big yuks. When are you guys gonna' stop making fun of me
for dating Cordelia?"
Buffy: "I'm sorry...but never. I just think you could find somebody
more...better."
Xander: "In a parallel universe, maybe."
Angel: "Dear Buffy. I'm still trying to decide the best way to send my
regards."
Spike: "Why don't you rip her lungs out? That might make an
impression."
Angel: "Lacks...poetry."
Spike: "It doesn't have to. What rhymes with 'lungs'?"
Xander: "'Blackmail' is such an ugly word."
Amy: "I didn't say 'blackmail'."
Xander: "Yeah, but I'm about to blackmail you, so I thought I'd bring it
up."
Xander: "I want some respect around here. I want, for once, to come out ahead. I want the Hellmouth to be working for me."
Buffy: "Oh, Valentine's Day is just a cheap gimmick to sell cards and
chocolates."
Amy: "Bad break-up, huh?"
Buffy: "Believe me when I say, 'uh-huh'."
Buffy: "Mom and I are going to have a pig-out and vid-fest. It's a time-honored tradition among the loveless."
Cordelia: "Thank you, it's beautiful. I want to break up."
Xander: "Okay, not quite the reaction I was looking for."
Xander: "Do you know what's a good day to break up with somebody? Any day besides Valentine's Day! I mean, what, were you running low on dramatic irony?"
Harmony: "Gee, Xander, maybe you should learn a second language so that even more girls can reject you."
Cordelia: "Your clothes. You look so good."
Xander: "I let Buffy dress me. Well, not physically."
Cordelia: "Perfect, you had to make this harder, didn't you?"
Xander: "Okay, clearly the fact that I please you visually has got us off
on the wrong foot here."
Giles: "Better safe than sorry."
Buffy: "It's a little late for both."
Drusilla: "Oh, Angel, it's still warm."
Angel: "I knew you'd like it. I found it in a quaint little
shopgirl."
Xander: "We're not fighting as much, and yesterday, we just sat
together, not even speaking. You know, just, um, enjoying comfortable
silence. Man, that was dull."
Buffy: "I'm glad you guys are getting along. Almost really."
Xander: "My valentines are usually met with heartfelt restraining orders."
Xander: "I wish dating was like slaying. You know, simple, direct, stake to the heart. No muss, no fuss."
Willow: "You know her mom was a witch."
Buffy: "And amateur psycho."
Giles: "Might I have a word?"
Buffy: "Have a sentence, even."
Buffy: "Sorry to say, Xand, but slaying is a tad more perilous than
dating."
Xander: "Well, you're obviously not dating Cordelia."
Cordelia: "Excuse me, where's the fire sale?"
Cordelia: "Xander? What does he have to do with this?"
Harmony: "Well, a girl wants to look good for her geek."
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