CRUISING DOWN THE RIVER
THIS IS THE THIRD STORY IN A SERIES. AS YOU KNOW JUSTIN LEFT LOIS ANN AT THE ALTAR, PREGNANT AND BAREFOOT. HE FLEW THE COOP THE STORY BEGINS~~~~~~~~~~>>>>>
LOIS ANN was sitting on an orange crate, counting her food stamps and eating pie that Ava had baked for her.
She was still in shock cuz the doctor and told her that she was carrying TRIPLETS.
She was pondering why Justin had run from the church during the wedding? Was she too ugly? She thought that she was beautiful except for her buck teeth, crossed eyes and bow legs. Justin was a short fat stupid guy who was very broke. LOIS loved him for his sense of HUMOR. Her friends told her that Justin was beautiful inside. She had looked in his mouth and ears but saw no beauty there. lol
Lois thought maybe Justin got COLD feet cuz he couldn't except responsibility. Lastly she thought he was married and lied to her. Was there another WOMAN?
LOIS ANN moved from the crate to an old wooden rocker she bought at the Salvation Army. As she sat there she starting thinking about the trip that she and Justin took. She asked Justin if they could take a cruise. He said, "Hon I'm broke, so could we just rent a RAFT and go cruising down the river" ? I agreed.
Lois met Justin in a chat room. She lived in CA and him in FL. He wanted to meet her in person, so he got a job on a AMTRAK and came to Ca free.
On the train, he met Myguy who was traveling from KY to TX. One LADY after another would (((((hug)))) Myguy. Sitting across from him were four men playing POKER. They would poke ladies as they walked down the aisle. Their names were
Marine, Howard, David and Danny. A guy was sitting in the corner, drinking a twelve pack named Blu. The conductor was a man named Jr_one. The cleaning lady was a cute gal named MAID Service.
Sierrasans and Sassykat were eating LUNCH. Trishyann and Chatter were the waitresses. At the next table sat a lawyer named Beejojo. There was a very funny lady named Sippies that kept everybody in stitches.People would laugh so hard, they would fall of their CHAIRS requiring stitches!!! Busy Betty was laughing her head off. Happy was laughing, too. A man named WILLIE was following the TRAIN with a gunny sack to pick up ROAD KILL. Soon, they all arrived at their destination.
Justin had been a SAILOR. He was shy. Instead of having a girl in every PORT, he had Port (wine) in every girl. He was a very lazy person and never got another job after that, until now.~~~~~~to be cont,
CRUISING THE RIVER~~PART TWO.
THANK YOU FOLKS FOR YOUR OVER- WELMING RESPONSE TO MY STORIES THANKS FOR THE COMPLIMENTS, AND INSPIRATION AND ENCOURAGE- MENT. HERE BY POPULAR DEMAND IS THE CONTINUING SAGA OF LOIS ANN AND JUSTIN'S LIVES. IF YOU ARE NOT MENTIONED IN THE STORY, YOU WILL BE NEXT TIME.>>>>>>>>>>CONT.
LOIS ANN was thrilled when she met Justin and he was equally thrilled. They both wanted to start that trip down the RIVER so they would get to know each other better. Her friends, ISA and BOB had met on the internet and now they are happily married. LOIS hoped for the same. They took a taxi to the river. A lovely lady named Royalbeesline was the driver. A sweet lady, named SUGER was sitting in a photo shop making albums.
JUSTIN and Lois approached the RAFT rental store. Luckily Justin had won a hundred dollars from the LOTTO the night before. The sales lady was named SURF or Mrs DUCKSHACK. She was very helpful. Her husband sat in the Store carving DUCKS. We rented a good sized raft.
We left on Monday and would return on Sunday!!! I carried the sleeping bags, the Hibachi, a dozen cans of PORK N BEANS and a case of CRACKERJACKS.
We were hoping to find two rings in them which we did on the last day. Justin carried a case of Ripple wine and two books. One book was a SEX manual and the other book was called, The Joy of SEX Justin had not been married before and was inexperience. I had been married THREE times.
We had a pole so we could guide the raft to shore. We would barbeque or go get supplies. On Monday we started our trip. That night we had ORAL sex. We sat up all night talking about SEX. lol
On Tuesday we practiced SAFE SEX. He slept on his side of the raft and i slept on my side. lol On Wednesday, we fished and i had on capris and a TANK TOP. MY long boobs were hanging below the top. Justin want to nibble on my apples, but i protested. He had on very short shorts and hanging out the bottom were two porky pine balls!!! lol
Thursday nite we had gas from the Pork N Beans. i still looked good. i had borrowed a wig from my friend DOLLY. I could not afford to have my make-up done by a Dept. store so my friend, BOZO did my face. OMG, my face was so bright. My lips were bright RED. Justin liked my blonde hair and make-up. I didn't know that Justin wore a TOUPEE until he lost it on the RAFT. We in our nite clothes. Justin was crawling on all fours looking for his toupee. Suddenly, he reached under my nitey in the dark and yelled. I FOUND MY TOUPEE. I said, THAT IS NOT YOUR TOUPEE and slapped his hand
On Friday, we went to the drug store and I bought some vasoline and he bought some VIAGRA. We spent the day FISHING. He happened to go to the side of the raft to relieve himself. I took a peek. OMG I was so shocked when I saw it. I was afraid a fish would SNAP it off thinking it was a NIGHT CRAWLER. LOL
Later i threw the vasoline overboard.
We decided to go swimming. I wore a THONG bathing suit that I borrowed from HELEN. He pinched my cheeks and they weren't the ones that were blushing. lol
I knew Saturday would be our BIG night.
Well on Sat. Justin took his Viagra. I was getting anxious and excited. We started drinking our RIPPLE. By dark, we were pretty well looped. I caught a fish and I said, "JUST" i got a Red Snapper. He smiled like a Cheshire cat and said, " I sure hope so" lol We began to make LOVE. We didn't use protection cuz we thought I was too old to get pregnant. WRONG!!!
After the foreplay, Justin tried to get on top. Well he couldn't, so I crawled on top.
OMG!!! We were moaning and groaning and it wasn't from PLEASURE. We were creaking and cracking!!! I hoped no one on shore could hear. All of a sudden Justin let out terrific scream. I thought he made it but found out he got a sliver from the RAFT in his toe, I laid there in a DREAM-LIKE state. This was the BEST I ever had. (I think) We slept good all night. Our sex act had caused a gigantic TIDAL WAVE, but it soon subsided. DA MOON was shining brightly. (_)(_). lol
On Sunday, we told each other DIRTY jokes. He told me about the guy that got his THINGY cut off. So he went to the doctor and said, DOC can you help me?
The doctor told him ask each male relative to donate an inch. So they did. On his first check-up the doctor says 'HOW'S IT DOING?" He SAID, FINE~~~
DOC BUT I WISHED YOU HADN'T PUT GRANDPA'S INCH IN THE MIDDLE. LOL
I LAUGHED, but I thought it might be a true story about Justin. We spent the afternoon hugging and kissing. I reminded him that we had to take the RAFT back. All of a sudden, Justin held me tight and PROPOSED to me!!!
~~~~~~~~~~~~END~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
(My family is like FUDGE, mostly sweet
with a few nuts)~~~~~~~~~~~Lois Ann~
