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Date: March 04 ,2004 Time: 9:12 am Mood:Ok-La Current Music: Finger 11 - Stay and Drown Hmmmm.... Apparently I am at school, but you see I am done school. Just here helping out in the morning breakfast club handing out food. I am done my hours but I guess it just keeps me sane because I do nothing at home and rarely go out. It fullfills my needs of interconnection with others. What I am currently doing or should be is making a resume and go around handing them out. Sighs... while my friends are in class I am just here sitting here typing away just waiting for them to finish. Its very boring indeed, crazy boring, retardly boring all the boringness that one can bring. The computer around me are slowly shutting off one by one then restarting again. Will mine me next. More like will I be next being shut off brainwash and rebooted similar to the story "Clockwork Orange". Our lives just toys to be played with; a colony of ants into doing jobs to fuel the society. If there was a sudden massive of destruction of race it will all revert back to square 1. Without the mass to run things we have to adpat forcfully and technology has forever change us surviviing in the wild I think we can't survive without it. We use it everday and us urbanlized part of the mass will probably die if they cannot adpat or refuse to. If there was a mass destruction of the race IF!. Which I think will never happen because our race is always reproducing in the ridiculous rate. Unless a massive metero came and smash the world knocking it out of orbit but that just my crazy imagination, but countering the rates of births is the rate of deaths. Every second in our lives somewhere someone just dies for the stupidest reasons like murder or accdential death or suicide. Ridiculous I think. There nothing I could do really but just to rant, bitch, and stat my mind through words that probably never be heard or read by anyone. Just silly I think typing out what I think cause maybe it will be read by one person and make a difference. Sometimes I feel like I am surrounded by idiots. Dumb found stereotypes of "cool people" geeze they more like stupid people that have no mind of there own. Shells of machine hungery for the next level in the "cool" status. But wait, what if one is finish high school where does this "cool status" extend to? No longer any commmon face to admire the "coolness" does it fade and begin to revert back to where they began before highschool or does it alter and mutant comforming into something more mundane. This ego they use to have gone no longer a need do they finally smarten up. I wonder... Date: Feb. 28 ,2004 Time: 1:57 am Mood:Content Current Music: Eason Chan - Bicycle I haven't written anything for awhile. My life as it is confusing. Nothing very new but its going alright so far. I did change the picture on the left and I be doing a little maintence on the webbie if I got time this weekend to do so. Like upload more artwork that been on my computer for the longest time and just to damn lazy to upload on angelfire. That is about it. Nothing more. Bye. Date: Feb. 04 ,2004 Time: 9:05 am Mood:Bored Current Music: Noemi - In My Dreams Layers upons layers of thoughts... everyday I think about it, the more I do the more I realize... *I can't explain it right now* I put this on hold =) let you ponder what comes next=p Date: Feb. 03 ,2004 Time: 8:52 am Mood:annoyed Current Music: Noemi - In My Dreams I little annoyed with my school. We were suppose to come in and get our "final marks" and gather out our artistic project home which I need for a portfolio. I just came hurry my ass all the way here in a winter warm snowfall; yes warm but lots of snow which makes me fairly happy. So then I went my Photography teacher (not mention any names) and ask her the information I receive was piss off. We were suppose to collect our stuff in the afternoon... Ahhh (Retardedly) The Vip and princple they should have organized it better then stating "You will be going to Semster 1 classes then Semster 2 On tuesday Feb. 02. 04. Not to mention the are such good actors, if you have a problem they move in their to office tell you there is nothing wrong and pretend they understand you but basically to tell you to shut the fuck up and go back to school enviroment. In one case my friend was crying the Princple came in and said you been wailing for hours can you stop, just stop your annoying the office members My Translation: Shut the Fuck already geezz and pissing everyone off in so many words. It makes me angry they shouldn't say shit like I understand when they really don't pisses the shit out of me. You see I am done school so I woke up early and got my ass here as fast as I could which takes usually *1 hour and a half* Walk+Bus+Rt(Train)+Bus+Walk again. The consumption of my life is 5 hours ride including back and forth from school wasted. Life is too much of a compeition for marks? wtf do they really mean. Some choose to do badly and some strive to kill and eat out other people to be the top making others feel like shit compare to them. Very animalistic . Since we as "Animals" eliminated the need for hunting the carving for killer diminished through the ages of time we've found better ways to admuse our selfs. Being Pretty? Smart? Healthy? Judgemental? Idiots? all kinds and tired of this bullshit. Depression develops even at a young age these days do to the medialistic properties these hardcore companys are doing. They don't realize what they do to ones self-esteam perhaps they do and they do it for the money. Money is paper and common currency to exchange something for another. If money never exist it would be worth shit. Reality Check today money is everything. My 11 year old cousin tells me she wants to die and be reborn. That is hard to hear especially for her age group. I mean I was depressed since 12-17 that a long duration but It was acknowledge I was depressed until I was 15 1/2. Who knows where we go from here self-destruction? killing off our own race just to fuel the humans flaws of "power" and "greed" and don't tell me shit that you aren't everyone is in a small way or a huge way. The wanting to need is a form of greed. Eg. "I want a new car" or "I want to look skinny". There two types Physical Level and Materalistic Level. Physical Level is wanting something to happen to you such "I want to win the lotter" or "I want abs" its still in a form of need. Materalistic Level is purchases of items make-up, car, computer, etc. Everyone wants something. Well I done I ranted enough for today I am mentally exhuasted =0 Bye bye Date: Jan. 23 ,2004 Time: 7:07 pm Mood:Happy Current Music: Kumi Koda - 1000 words An unfinished story.... One Night Stand I woke from the presence of a rose perfume that still lingered in the night air, quickly followed by a headache resulting from the heavy consumption of alcohol earlier. My eyes travel through the night-stilled room noticing a small hunched figured that is wrapped in between my body. The moon light laced her young beautiful modeled face; dark chocolate brown hair shimmered like endless streams of stars, and her knees teasingly lapped over my inner thigh. I slowly raise my finger to greet the warmth of her face outlining and tracing the features as she stirred in response of my touch. Her knees instantly came alive, moving higher and closer to my cock. It pressed hard and firm, it felt so soft so smooth so good… I close my eyes, falling back into the blackness of my eyelids as my cock begins to harden. I kicked back her knee, rolling on top of her, meeting her mesmerizing ocean blue eyes as my lips pressed against hers and my tongue pierced through; exchanging fluids… Date: Jan. 16 ,2004 Time: 6:33 am Mood:Happy Current Music: Finger 11 - Tip Well I updated a large part of my site lol what I think is considered large lol =p anyways yeah i got exams coming up and crap so not so much for now but more will come soon... once I can get my hands on a scanner I can work on my comic "th huk luck muk" anyways every good luck and take care for now. Date: December 20 ,2003 Time: 11:20 pm Mood:Happy Current Music: Naked - avril wow its been a long time since I actually typed anything on here... well I am still all hype up and happy about yesterday christmas gathering I almost got to see ever b4 the winter break,,, as in school its been really depressed and devastating for most... there was a car accident that involved a graduate from our skool that many people knew... I was down I just wish i had fonder memories of this person because he was one of the people that made my life a living hell as a freshman... but I never hated him for it... I just forgot about it and never talked to him but I am sure there's better side that people have seen to cry and care about him, surly I did... because I think death is tragic... and no one derserves the ultimate price in life...death... some do but he didn't I prayed for chris to be well and quick recovery Date: October 23 ,2003 Time: 10:34 am Mood:Happy Current Music: Finger Eleven - Bones and Joints  LOL!!!!! Date: October 17 ,2003 Time: 11:46 pm Mood:Mixed Current Music: Roch Voisine - All by myself Alone but not yet alone thank you sis.... P.S Happy B-day Russ Date: October 07 ,2003 Time: 7:09 pm Mood:Unstable Current Music: A Perfect Circle - Pet Pondering and more pondering... Questioning and more ah you guessed it questioning. Hmm... If you love someone as much as you say you do giving him/her your trust, body, mind and soul. Yet that person using your fears your low points to break you to control you to own you like an object kicked aside as nothing. Is it worth it? How can one being so cold to the one you say you love, is this the way they interpet love. So dark so evil so cold, I really don't know. Love I think its alot like gambling you can win or lose... Asking someone out your taking that chance of winning and losing. I personally haven't experience "love" but however Love comes in may forms... I rather love then not love at all right? Maybe... I wanna know I wanna experience this... crazy havoc feeling... lol Seems desperate but trust me I am not, I can hold back and supress these so calling urges to "love" but at my age it is more likely known as Lust and not Love... I can wait and still wait... till I fall over heels for thee one.. Date: September 30 ,2003 Time: 7:06am Mood:SICK!!! Current Music: Play Ball - Utada Hikaru I just woke up just wanted to say I had a dream about a gurl in a romantic base film sorta thing it was non sexual but it was warm and loving... I think I am in love... Date: September 29 ,2003 Time: 7:41pm Mood:SICK!!! Current Music: Deep River - Utada Hikaru  What insanity I am losing it completely, I am tired of it all. I feel not so so so good because I can feel a cold shrouding me in its grasp choking me with its frost burns, decaying in its heatstroke... Sunday which was yesterday was a happy and enjoyable day because I had my friends there to keep me warm thx guys... I need that... Plus we hadn't hung out since school start and that is almost a month ago. Blah... my law class sux...Maybe if the class didn't piss off the teacher so much then she'd wouldn't be a bitch. I got very lil done today been sick in bed perhaps going back when the burning sensations kick in again. I want this one to be forever and let me go from the lines of life... gawd I hate this bitter sour world... DIE...
Date: September 25 ,2003 Time: 6:47pm Mood:Happy Current Music: El Scorcho - Weezer / A perfect Circle - Weak and Powerless  Err Hi everyone... today kinda stinks as all the other days I am currently sick and don't feel like doing much. My photography teacher is having a really bad day, our class room was broken into and a digital camera was stole worth well over $500 bucks, and that is the only thing that person took so it was like set up because they were other camera SRL's that are worth way more then that. That is so ghetto...  stealing from a school how patheic... seriously... she wasn't in the mood to teach and no longer trusts anyone. if i was in her position I wouldn't either. So we had no dark room time to develop our pictures so we sat and read the text on varity of techinques on developing film very cool and interesting ahahha... yeah I am boring you with school stuff, but on a personal level I got stuff on my mind... and self preparing for something much wrost until then... I will keep strong. Also you can watch the "A perfect Circle - Weak and powerless" Video by clicking here Great song I luv it...
Date: September 23 ,2003 Time: 6:34pm Mood:Down Such a downer day, very emontional. Watching someone close to you suffer from something is so hard to deal with. Yes I would like to keep this confidential that pretty much I going to say. Err.. anyways todya sucked... pretty much life stings like a bee, it very damn well HURTS. I hoping to look forward to the weekend a release from school momentarily, bah... I have started the people section... its based on my friends and my personal positive comments =). Guys if you got photo send them to me !!! Date:September 21 ,2003 Time: 6:48pm Mood:Content Well its not really a "Daily Blog" it's for when ever I feel like writing something not like anyone would read it hahaha... Well its been 2 weeks of school and already I am sick of it... it suxors. Most of my friends already moved on either working or in university/College. I took the extra year because I need my 6 university course. I just need 1. It's not so bad I like my class and getting along with people fine. Met some new friends and moving on I guess. Yes I would like to hang out with my old buds all the time... well here's a picture that my brother took of me its Ghetto/Funny...  Date:September 3rd ,2003 Time:unknown Mood:Sad  Today is a very sad day indeed, my old brother discovered that our hamster wasn't moving... I was willingly to pick it up it was cold pretty much dead in other words. I tried to revive it and well it worked but only to see it die in my hands... Good bye my friend always have a place within my heart. |
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